Chapter Text
A flicker of light. A twitch in the eyelids. A blinding explosion of light. She winced. A stab of pain shot through from one temple to the next. Somewhere between consciousness and clarity… that’s where her eyelids hovered. How long had she been out? She blinked once. Then again. Then a third time. Could she keep them up long enough? Just the thought wearied her. Everything was a blur. Quick snapshots of the scene yielded no information. Blink. It took minutes before the light blobs came into focus. Blink. Artificial light burst through from various directions dished out the clues she needed. The bed she was lying on, the beeping monitor, the tube attached to her arm, the IV pole. Blink. Then came the pungent odour of disinfectant pinching her nostrils.
Hospital? But why?
No immediate answer was forthcoming. Her lips parted. She could do that at least. But her voice. Nothing came out. Her arms? No luck there. Legs? Where were her legs? Had she carelessly misplaced her limbs? She couldn’t feel them.
At least I'm alive.
At last a panoramic view. The foreground was in focus. Improved visibility made all the difference. The room. People. Blink. Blink. A set of eager eyes greeted her groggy self first. Eyeballs boring down at her. She was a curiosity. An animal in a cage. A zoo exhibit perhaps. An experiment? Those eyes transformed into uniforms. Men. Women. A pattern emerged. A thought dawned on her. Medical staff. A couple of nurses. Doctors. An elder among them. The others were younger. A man in a waistcoat and a tie. He stuck out in that parade of gawkers. He was clearly not medical personnel. Youngish. Thirtyish most likely. Nice figure. Who was he? She couldn’t recall. No bells were ringing around her. No reference point. No map to consult. No compass for bearings. Nothing at all to guide her. Lost. Her scrutineers exchanged quick glances and vigorous nods. With a professional smile cemented on her otherwise sober mein, one of the nurses bunched the buttons on her blouse together.
How long have I been here?
“How are you feeling?” Someone finally spoke up. One of the doctors. The elderly member of the ensemble.
She felt a dull ache throbbing around her forehead as those words absorbed into the part of the brain that processed language. She wriggled until she felt the sheet under her. A warm rush of relief washed over her.
At least I can move. I think.
“What happened? Why am I here?”
“You were in an traffic accident.”
“I was? When?” The words took their time to find their way out.
“A few days ago. You were crossing a street. A drunk driver ran into you. Fortunately nothing serious happened.”
The man in the well-made suit did all the talking. The others were happy to let him.
“And you are…”
“You don’t remember him?” The younger nurse’s eyes widened in surprise. Her finger stuck out in his direction. “Isn’t he your fiancé?”
“Fiancé? I have a fiancé?” She closed her eyes. She clenched both hands. Took several deep breaths before opening her eyes again. She had no recollection of a fiancé. Memory banks came up empty. A big blank void of nothingness in her consciousness reflected in her eyes. “I am engaged?”
“Miss In-joo. Don’t you remember me?” The name. For one brief moment there was a ring of familiarity. But then it disappeared into the air.
“Is that my name? In-joo.” Her eyes flicked open.
“Yes. Miss In-joo. Miss Oh In-joo.”
“And who may I ask are you?”
“Park Hae-shin. Your fiancé. We were engaged only a week ago.”
“We were?”
As if on cue the nurses turned to face each other. They shot each other puzzled looks.
“Miss Oh. You seem to be suffering from amnesia.” This time an older man in a white coat spoke up. He dug his hands into his pockets. “Your concussion must be worse than we thought.”
“Amnesia? Concussion?” Her eyes sprung open. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve had a hard hit to the head. You seem to have lost your memory.”
“Doctor. How long will she be like this?” The man called Park Hae-shin frowned in troubled fashion.
“It’s hard to say. It could be a few days. Weeks. Months or even years.”
The lady at the centre of all the speculation shut her eyes again. A soft groan escaped her lips.
Years. I can’t wait that long.
“Director Im. Could you and your staff be so kind as to give us a bit of privacy? I would like to speak to Miss Oh alone.”
“Of course.” The most senior of the medical staff nodded. A hint of amusement spread across his lips and to the rest of his face. He bowed. His subordinates followed suit. Like a group of noisy tourists reluctant to leave, they strolled to the exit. The youngest among them, an intern, took one last look before shuffling behind... and out the door.
To the patient Park Hae-shin was a figure of curiosity as he saddled himself next to her. He immediately reached for her exposed hand. She recoiled at the touch. On the other hand, any kind of movement would be too much effort. The smile he flashed did little to reassure her. There was something about the awkward way his lips pressed together that made her stomach turn. A smile that failed to light up the eyes. Could be just the headache talking. She couldn’t decipher the signals. She didn’t know him well enough. She was in the middle of turbulent waters. This ship was not hers to steer. Her own mind was a series of jumbled thoughts she couldn't command.
“Ms In-joo. This must be very confusing to you finding yourself in such a situation.” He seemed to guess what she was thinking.
She felt compelled to ask the question. That feeling of overwhelming doubt was too strong to brush off.
“Are we really engaged? You and I.”
“Yes. We are.”
There was a sharpish inflection in his voice as the word “are” landed beside her ear. She fell into a contemplative silence.
Was he impatient with her? Or dismissive? The pounding from the headache amplified her doubts. The pain was wearing her down. It chipped away at her curiosity.
The words “I’m sorry” barely came out of her mouth. She genuinely felt like a child being soundly chastised for bad behaviour. “I wish I could remember.”
“It’s fine. I realise this must be hard for you.” His entire demeanour softened. The wrinkles across his forehead struck hard. “I don’t mean to put pressure on you. I guess I’m just a little disappointed because we were celebrating only a few days ago.”
Guilt hit her between the eyes. “I’m truly sorry.”
Her words felt hollow even to her ears. What else could she say?
He patted her hand. She flinched. Again she felt nothing. Except for a feeling of disquiet lumbering in the background.
Why can’t I remember a single thing about this man if I’m supposed to be in love with him? There has to be something. Some kind of feeling, right?
Was I ever in love with this man?
He reached for his inner jacket pocket and took out his phone. His fingers moved around the screen before he handed it to her.
“Maybe these photos will help jog your memory a little.”
Park Hae-shin placed the phone in front of her. The picture of two people having dinner together. The woman was presumably her. Nothing registered. Her mind registered a blank. Swipe. The next one. Again nothing. Swipe. Another. No reaction. She shook her head. The images she was looking at were pieces of a puzzle she had no context for. The woman in those photos was a stranger she couldn’t place.
She felt sorry for the man next to her. He was full of hope but she had nothing to offer him in return for his efforts. Not even platitudes. The words weren't forthcoming.
“Mr Park Hae-shin. This is deeply regrettable. But I have no recollection of any of these moments.”
He grimaced. The muscles of his face went through various alterations and settled finally on something between a frown and a smile.
“Don’t worry Ms In-joo. Take your time. No pressure. We will get through this together. Eventually you will regain all your memories. You’ll remember. You must. For you. For me. So that we can have a future together.”
The weight of those words dropped heavily on her weary shoulders. Instant obligation. By hook or by crook for his sake and hers she had to remember. She put her lips together in away that seemed to satisfy Park Hae-shin. Inwardly she couldn’t shake that strong surge of doubts about everything she was hearing and seeing.
"There's no hurry. Right now, you need rest, In-joo. You need sleep."
******
His house was not a house. Suffice to say it was a building. One with multiple storeys. So large that it couldn’t be a real house lived by real people. The structure was built to impress. Screaming money from the rooftops. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth. Jumbled notions were prancing inside her head. There they stayed. She was in no mood to talk. Then the wheelchair guided by her fiancé transported her inside like a sojourner in a foreign land. A museum not lived in. For several seconds she was wowed by the interior. Furnishings. Fittings. Flora. Vases and pots in every corner. Roses, camellias and orchids. For her benefit undoubtedly. Until perfection became uncomfortable. Oh In-joo was a peasant being wooed by a prince. Or was she a prisoner being led by a noose. Panic and a sudden flash of a fragment of a memory. A mansion. But not this one. Somewhere else. Somewhere she had happily forgotten. Home? No. Not home. Something else. Her blood turned cold. She clasped on to the seams of her dress for inspiration. A short sharp sensation of pain punched her between the eyes before making its quick getaway.
What is this place? Do I really live here? I feel nothing.
Shouldn’t I feel something?
Park Hae-shin had insisted. It would have been bad manners to say “no”. She had no excuse. Curiosity too was a factor. Who was this man who claimed to be her fiancé? He certainly had good manners and his looks weren’t bad. But there was something in his manner that sent a chill twirling round her spine. At times he seemed concerned. At other times his eyes looked like they would freeze her into oblivion. Park Hae-shin was a man accustomed to getting his own way. That was clear to her. How in the world did she cross paths with him? A man who lived in such conspicuous opulence would… she thought… be far more picky about the choice of a wife.
Of course that question assumed that she knew who she was. Remembered how they met. But there was a nagging whisper telling her that she didn’t belong here. She hardly fit the pedigree.
“We met at the annual Seoul Horticultural Society ball four weeks ago. You wore a pretty pink dress with a pearl necklace. You had your hair done up. I noticed you straight away. ”
“Only four weeks ago? We were engaged only a few weeks after that?”
“I’m not usually this impulsive but by our fourth date, I knew that you were the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Why? What was it about me that was so special?”
“You may find what I say strange. I hope you don’t take offence.”
“Somehow I don’t think I will.”
“It was your simplicity that I found refreshing.” He paused for effect. “I mean it. A man of my position meets many women. So I have developed a reputation which is a burden I have to bear. But really I am… or was… just looking for someone who can see past the trappings. You know, the big house, the nice car, the title and the money. You’re the first woman I met that didn’t want anything from me. You are genuinely knowledgeable about orchids. You are sincere to everyone you meet. In my circles, it’s rarer than a Gold of Kinabalu orchid.”
Gold of Kinabalu orchid.
Oh In-joo nodded. Her eyes lit up. The image of the orchid popped into her brain. Why? She mused over it. The obvious flattery on the other hand crashed landed.
Some things he said rang true. But a whirlwind romance with a chaebol heir sounded far too much like something out of a fairytale. Was he really her happily-ever-after?
“Don’t you have to marry someone that your family approves of? A lady from a wealthy and important family.”
“My family?” He rewarded her inquiry with a shout of laughter. “I don’t have a family. Well, at least not anybody that matters.”
She was stunned by his dismissive manner. Of all the claims that he uttered, what he said about family touched a nerve.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, not at all.” He closed his eyes. “It’s no secret that I don’t get along with with my stepmother and her daughter. A legacy of my dearly departed father.”
The bitter tone lingered in the air between them. For the first time a veil fell between them.
“Anyway, you don’t have to worry about them. You don’t even have to meet them.”
A pang of unease pierced her heart. Another sensation followed. Fear? Panic? She took a deep breath.
“We’d discussed all this before. You had no objections. In fact you were sympathetic.”
For some reason she found this piece of revelation baffling. The reverberations buzzing in her ear did not sit well.
“What about me? Do I have parents? Sisters? Brothers? Relatives?”
“Two sisters. One is living in the States with her boyfriend, the other in Europe studying art with a school friend.”
“Do they know?” The explanation made sense. It would account for why she had no visitors. “About my accident?”
“I’ve tried calling but I haven’t managed to reach either of them. I have my secretary looking into that.”
“My phone.” The wider implications of what he said finally struck her. “Do you have my phone?”
“The police have it. It was badly damaged. I doubt they will get anything out of it. I got you a new one. My number’s already been input. Call me whenever you need to talk.”
“You’re a busy man. I shouldn’t…”
“Not so busy that I don’t have time for the woman I’m going to marry.”
Why did that statement come across flat to her? Was it just her confused mind in tumult? His delivery seemed perfunctory. Was he really in love with her? She wasn’t able to calm herself down to think clearly.
“About that…”
His hand went up preemptively.
“I know what you’re going to say. I won’t push you to do anything you’re not ready for.”
She sighed. But not too loudly. Was it relief? The tension in her fingers relaxed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise. None of this is your fault. No one could have foreseen any of this.”
“I am grateful to you Mr Park Hae-shin for your kindness. And understanding.”
“Of course. This the least I can do. Anything for you. You’re my responsibility. I hope that I can prove to you that you’re the most important person in the world to me. Don’t worry about anything and leave everything to me. As soon as I get in touch with your sisters, I will let you know.”
This time she heard a palpable note of concern in his voice. A puny pang of guilt hit her.
He doesn't sound so bad.
Maybe he's just disappointed. Park Hae-shin. Maybe I was just imagining things. What could he possibly gain by lying to me? He has more money than I do. Most definitely. He’s probably in shock like I am.
Then a thought struck her like a lightning bolt.
I have sisters. Yes. I have family. They will come looking for me. They will explain everything.
******
The bedroom she rolled into like everything else was larger than she needed it to be. Like a high-end suite in a five star hotel. At that moment she had another memory flash. A small rooftop apartment. Two young women laughing. A sudden switch to a hotel room. A man whose face she couldn't see. Than a throbbing pain felt acutely around her temples.
“Is everything alright, Miss?” The household maid who had pushed her to the room finally spoke.
“Just a bit tired I think.”
“I’ll help you to your bed. You look like you need some rest.”
“I’m sorry to trouble you.”
“No trouble at all. It’s my job to look after you.”
“I don’t think I’m used to this much attention.”
The maid was stronger than she looked. She helped In-joo into the bed and pulled the covers over her.
“Would you like some tea?”
“Water’s fine.”
The maid reached for the jug sitting on a table beside the night stand. She flipped the glass over and poured water into it. She handed the glass of water to In-joo who took it gratefully. In-joo leaned back on her pillow and closed her eyes.
******
Elsewhere in the house Park Hae-shin had a visitor. An old friend. He sat himself in his favourite armchair lighting up a cigar.
“Are you really going to marry that woman?”
“Why not?”
“Do you even like her?”
‘She is a gullible creature to be sure but there’s a charming simplicity about her that I could get used to. At least she’s the first woman who’s not trying to get something from me.”
“But what about Ms Lee…”
“She understands my predicament. After all she is a beneficiary of the situation. Besides, I haven’t come to a decision one way or another about marriage.”
“Sooner or later she’s bound to remember. It’s not foolproof.”
“That’s why we will need to act quickly. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”