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you'll always have a place in me

Summary:

"I love you," Henry whispers reverently like the words are ripped out from his throat before he could swallow them, and the look of devastation on his face is so strong that Alex feels his breath stutter.

"I'm sorry. I tried to stop, Alex. I really did. I tried to distance myself, tried to lock these feelings away. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I get it if you want some space after this. I just. I don't know, you had to know, darling. All this time, Alex, you had to know."

Alex knows they're on the edge of something historic that could change their lives forever. Alex wants to say something prophetic. Something meaningful. Something about how they're inevitable, how they'd find each other in every single universe, how they're meant to be. He wants to tell Henry he loves him too. That there's nothing to be afraid of, nothing to ruin.

Instead, what comes out is, "So. Um, sweetheart, is this a bad time to tell you I've literally, like, planned out our wedding on Pinterest?"

Notes:

guys. GUYS. i was scrolling through my tl yesterday night and i saw two screenshots of i'm so in love (i might stop breathing) on rwrb stan twt and the amount of attention that fic is getting is insane???? the replies on twt??? the comments???? y'all are so sweet i almost cried. i love each and every single one of you.

genuinely, thank you. i'd fallen out of love with writing, but these days i literally can't get myself to stop. again, thank you. it means a fucking lot to me.

sorry for getting all emo here's a little treat i guess. happy reading!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Alex has made a lot of bad decisions in his life. The one he thinks about the most? That time when he hooked up with his best friend in high school and unknowingly broke his heart, their friendship going up in flames. 

It's not that he loves Liam or anything. He regrets how that went down, of course. He just thinks about it a lot because he's managed to fall in love with his best friend. Again. Henry is a fucking angel though, Alex really can't be blamed. He's just really fucking scared of fucking things up, just like he'd fucked things up with Liam. Anyway. Henry. His best friend since they'd been assigned as roommates at university, three years ago. Fucking tall. He's a giant, seriously. Gorgeous blue eyes. Cheekbones that Alex wants to trace with his lips. Hair that made of gold, really. It fucking glints in the sun. Whose hair even does that? It's unfair. Lips that are so fucking full that Alex wants to do nothing but bite them. There's a mole that sits just above his lip that Alex wants to lick. He's going to die. Who even allowed Henry to be that hot? It's not just that, though. Henry is funny and smart and kind and respectful and really, can he do that where Alex can't see? It's disgusting, how much Alex loves Henry. 

They're lounging on the couch in their apartment, letting Bake Off play in the background. Alex is more focused on Henry's voice than the show and again, he can't be blamed, alright? People would understand if they heard Henry speak. It should be a sin, sounding that good. Lock Henry up, his accent is way too sexy.

Henry's been having a a couple of bad days and Alex'd picked up some Jaffa Cakes from that shop that was an hour away from his work. He'd gone out of his way to buy them, but Henry doesn't have to know that. He stands up to go get them, disentangling from Henry, who's been very subdued. Alex hates it. He really hopes the Jaffa Cakes cheer him up, he can't stand seeing Henry so sad.

"Hey, sweetheart," Alex says gently as he sits back down. He passes him the biscuits, watching Henry tear up a little. "Got you these. Hope they make you feel better, Hen."

He sees a tear fall from Henry's eye and he brushes it away. Henry looks so fucking vulnerable and Alex wants to hold him close and feed him all the Jaffa Cakes in the world even though they taste disgusting. Really, Henry needs to get a better taste. Hating coffee and loving Jaffa Cakes? A crime, that's what it is.

"I love you," Henry whispers reverently like the words are ripped out from his throat before he could swallow them, and the look of devastation on his face is so strong that Alex feels his breath stutter. 

"I'm sorry. I tried to stop, Alex. I really did. I tried to distance myself, tried to lock these feelings away. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I get it if you want some space after this. I just. I don't know, you had to know, darling. All this time, Alex, you had to know."

Alex knows they're on the edge of something historic that could change their lives forever. Alex wants to say something prophetic. Something meaningful. Something about how they're inevitable, how they'd find each other in every single universe, how they're meant to be. He wants to tell Henry he loves him too. That there's nothing to be afraid of, nothing to ruin.

Instead, what comes out is, "So. Um, sweetheart, is this a bad time to tell you I've literally, like, planned out our wedding on Pinterest?"

Alex closes his eyes in embarrassment, the blood rushing to his cheeks. Thank God for his dark skin. He hadn't meant to say that. Fuck, that was a secret he was planning to take to his grave, not blurt out as an attempted love confession. 

"Excuse me, what?" Henry says incredulously, his eyes wide open in surprise.

"Shut up, you weren't supposed to hear that. Ugh. This is so not how I planned on doing this."

"What?" Henry repeats again, gaping at him. Alex is tempted to knock his fist on Henry's head to see if his brain has finally shut down.

"What do you mean, what? How did you, even for a second, think that you are the only one in love after all this time, baby," Alex says. He notices the sudden hitch in Henry's breath and lets a pleased smirk spread over his face.

"What are you saying?" Henry mutters, eyes a little wild, running an agitated hand through his hair. He looks like he doesn't believe what's happening, and well, Alex can relate. He doesn't know how he'd gone from watching Bake Off (fine, watching Henry) to this in a span of less then five minutes. Fuck it, he's blaming Henry for this. It was totally his fault. 

"What I'm saying, baby," he pauses to see Henry take in a stuttered breath in and his doubts are confirmed. He's going to use the shit out of that pet name. "What I'm saying is that I love you too, idiot. Obviously."

"Wh-" Alex cuts him off before Henry can say finish saying the word. Henry's cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are dazed. He's looking at Alex like he can't believe that this is real. Alex is a little obsessed.

"If you say 'what,' one more time, I will kill you, sweetheart," Alex threatens, a saccharine smile on his face.

"Sorry, this is. This is just a lot to take in," Henry says, still looking at Alex with an awestruck expression and Alex loves him so much that he wants to die a little.

"Well, hurry up, your Highness, so I can kiss your stupidly perfect face." Alex sits back against the arm of the couch, arms crossed, revelling in the flush that darkens Henry's face. The saccharine smile on Alex's face melts into something more real as he watches Henry struggle with his words.

He thinks that his heart should be beating a little faster, his hands should be shaking, there should be a sheen of sweat over his brow, he should feel like he's going to throw up. He's expecting the nervousness, but it never comes. He's just so sure of Henry and his feelings that it feels like the most normal thing in the world. Alex and Henry. They're in love. That's a fact, not a revelation. 

"C'mere," Henry says, uncharacteristically soft. He looks so inviting like this, dressed in Alex's hoodie, his eyes shining with adoration. The remnants of his blush stain his cheeks pink and Alex wants to press his lips to it. So, he does. Because that's a thing now, he's allowed to do that. He lets out a shaky breath as he feels Henry's warm cheek under his lips, his hands wrapping around his waist. Shit, he might be nervous after all.

Pulling back slightly, Alex sees Henry smile. The corner of his mouth is stretched in a smile and fuck, Alex wants to kiss him. Wants to kiss that stupid mole he's been obsessed with ever since he saw it for the first time. Wants him. Wants Henry.

"Hi," Henry whispers, lifting his hands to frame Alex's face. His heart feels so fucking full as he looks at Henry, and his voice might just be Alex's undoing. Oh God, he's not going to survive this, is he? 

"Hi," Alex murmurs, pulling Henry closer. He shuffles slightly to adjust their weight on the couch. The air is crackling with electricity and if Alex can't put his mouth over Henry's in the next ten seconds, he is going to combust. He nudges their noses together, and he feels his lips tug up in a lovesick smile when he sees it makes Henry scrunch his nose. He definitely isn't going to survive this. RIP him. Rest in peace Alex. He can picture his tombstone:

Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz

27 March 1998 - 20 October 2023

Beloved son, brother, and a fucking dumbass so in love that he didn't know what to do with it.

"Hey," Henry whispers bringing him out of his, quite frankly, insanely absurd reverie, his thumbs gently brushing Alex's cheeks. "Where'd you go?"

Ugh. Henry was making existing so difficult by just being Henry. Everything in his life was his fault. He's so fucking endearing. Did the man really have no idea about what he was doing to Alex? Oblivious fucking asshole.

"You drive me fucking insane, baby," Alex says a little wildly, running brushing his thumbs over Henry's side. He has to tilt his head slightly to look at Henry, that tall gorgeous motherfucker, and it's doing things to Alex. He's so into this.

Still smiling, Henry leans down, finally pressing his lips against Alex's. He thinks of thousand things and nothing at all. His brain is too fucking loud and deadly silent at the same time and he doesn't think this was ever possible. Fuck, he hates to admit it but none of the clichés in the world could quite compare to this. There are fucking fireworks, explosion, fucking butterflies, the whole damn zoo in his stomach.

Oh, he thinks as they pull away, there you are.

"Baby," Alex whispers and he knows he sounds absolutely wrecked. Henry can wreck him all he wants. He has full permission. "I fucking love you."

"I love you," Henry whispers back, and his eyes are glassy. There's a tear sitting on his lash line and his eyes are so fucking blue and he looks so pretty that Alex thinks he might just stop breathing.

"Fucking stellar," Alex says, trying to push down the surge of emotions he's feeling. "You're my boyfriend now, by the way. You legally aren't allowed to refuse."

The smile that lights up Henry's face is so bright that Alex has to kiss it away. He can't take it. He's a weak man. They settle back on the couch, Alex tucked into Henry's side. His head rests beneath Henry's chin as he half lays on Henry, their hands intertwined. Star Wars is playing now and Alex makes the sacrifice as they watch Return of the Jedi as opposed to The Empire Strikes Back (the best movie, Henry is clearly wrong). Let it be said that he's the best boyfriend ever.

"Hey, so," Henry starts with a smirk and there's a mischievous look on his face. Alex knows he's going to hate whatever's coming next.

"About that Pinterest board, how many pins do you have? Do you have folders, wait, that's a daft question. Of course you do. Have you pinned things based on the theme? Or is it colour? Any venues in mind? What about the flowers?"

"Oh God," Alex mutters, snuggling closer to Henry. "I fucking hate you."

Henry laughs as Alex hides his face in the crook of his neck in embarrassment. He cups the back of Alex's head, wrapping his arms around him tighter. Alex should've just told Henry he loved him back, y'know, like a normal person. This is what he gets for not thinking before speaking. He has dug his own grave and now he must lie in it.

Henry places a kiss on his temple and fucking fine, Alex feels his embarrassment melt away with it.

"Alright, I am in love with my best friend but I just know we're going to end up getting married, so the joke is on you, baby, because I already have a head start. I'm so going to win this thing."

Henry laughs even if he tears up a little. Kisses him softly. He looks touched, like he can't believe this is real, and Alex knows how he feels. But they're forever. There's no escaping now. Henry can't return Alex, he doesn't come with a receipt. 

"I don't think you can win wedding planning, love," Henry says and there's so much fondness in his voice that Alex can almost touch it. They're going to be one of those disgustingly in love couples, aren't they? Alex should've known. Nora is never going to let them live this down. But whatever, he's wanted this for years, they can be as disgusting as they want.

"Yeah? Watch me because you're going to fucking lose, Fox."

And if Henry ends up as a collaborator on that board three years down the line so that they can plan their wedding together? Well, then Alex has already won at life, he thinks, as he traces the ring on Henry's finger. Forever.

Notes:

this is the first time i've written the ending before the beginning and i'm a little worried about the flow of things but fuck it we ball. not proofread!!

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