Work Text:
Kim Dokja takes the same subway train five days a week to go to his workplace, the 3434 Train to Bulgwang. The ride isn’t long nor short. Kim Dokja prefers when the ride is longer though. That way, he gets more time to read his webnovels in the subway before going to work. He often wishes the subway never arrives at its destination. Kim Dokja would love being stuck in that subway to read all day long instead of going to work, instead of having to pay his bills every month, instead of thinking about his mother in jail, about that awful book and about himself. Kim Dokja knows damn well this isn’t actually possible but well, he can still hope, right?
This morning again, he steps in the subway train, looks for a seat and turns on his phone to continue reading a webnovel. He sighs, he’s tired, he didn’t get enough sleep that night because he spent almost the entire night reading. Kim Dokja can’t even remember if he actually ate something yesterday. Anyways, Kim Dokja starts reading his novel.
No, I lied, he doesn’t. Before starting to read his novel, Kim Dokja does something else. He looks at the passengers. Because, there’s actually another reason why Kim Dokja enjoys those subway rides. The reason is a guy, he’s tall, got dark hair and is extremely handsome: eyebrows seemingly drawn by a single, uninterrupted stroke of a famed artist’s brush; a nose and a chin shaped in perfect angles that defied attempts to measure them through mere devices of men; a pair of deep eyes seemingly carved out of a beautiful jewel containing all the misfortunes found in this world. Kim Dokja couldn’t actually describe how perfect that guy looked. If that guy was in a novel, he’d definitely be the protagonist. He actually reminded Kim Dokja of the protagonist of his favorite novel. The handsome man took the same subway train as Kim Dokja, everyday, at the same hour as Kim Dokja. In the morning, when Kim Dokja gets in the subway, he’s already there, sitting, always in the same carriage. And when Kim Dokja takes the subway to go home, he’s still there, still in the same carriage, as if he lived there. Well, Kim Dokja couldn’t blame him. He also went in the same carriage every time. Partly to see that man. Because he wanted to see him. He seemed familiar to Kim Dokja, as if he’d always known him. Maybe Kim Dokja was insane, but every time, he felt the gaze of the man on him. Quietly observing him. But Kim Dokja couldn’t be sure because he didn’t dare to look into the eyes of the pretty stranger. What would the man think if he noticed that Kim Dokja was looking at him. Wouldn’t it be creepy? “Ew, that guy keeps taking the same carriage as me every morning and every evening to look at me!”
Anyways, without any surprises, this morning, the stranger was indeed in the carriage, sitting almost in front of Kim Dokja. Kim Dokja felt his gaze on him, more intense than usual, maybe because they were closer today? Or maybe Kim Dokja was just making things up in his mind. Kim Dokja couldn’t stop himself from looking at the man’s outfit. He was wearing black clothes. As always. All black clothes. No colors. No white. Just black. Was that guy mourning or something? Well, in any cases, he was handsome and damn, he was extremely muscular, pretty thighs, pretty biceps. Kim Dokja internally coughed to stop himself from thinking too much about it. Kim Dokja, felt like bewitched. His black coat looked like it was made for him and only him. Though it was probably a mass produced piece of clothing, Kim Dokja thought that this man probably wore it better than anyone else could. The man wore a silver collar, Kim Dokja rarely saw men with this kind of accessories, it looked elegant around his neck. Maybe Kim Dokja should’ve going back to his lecture but he lingered on the hair of the handsome guy in front of him. Now that he’d started looking, he couldn’t stop. His black hair were slightly wavy and cut short. From there, Kim Dokja could see that the guy had a tan skin. And as Kim Dokja kept analyzing every features of the beautiful stranger, their eyes met. When I say “met”, I mean “they stared into each others eyes for two whole minutes”. You can’t blame Kim Dokja, the stranger’s eyes were captivating. They were dark, sad, but something about them told Kim Dokja that, at that very moment, he was glad, he was hopeful. About what? Kim Dokja obviously couldn’t tell. But he felt it. He felt that the man in front of him was glad that his eyes finally met Kim Dokja’s. Finally. Finally? Kim Dokja chased the word out of his thoughts. “Finally”, it was stupid. As if such a beautiful man was waiting for a below average guy such as Kim Dokja to notice him. Kim Dokja looked away when he realized that they’d been staring at each others for a bit too long. He looked at his feet. His cheeks were burning. “Come on Dokja,” he thought “it’s just an eyes contact, he will probably forget about it soon… or he won’t. What if he knows who my mother is. He has read that damn book and he just recognized me and-” Kim Dokja started to freak out. What if that handsome guy was only looking at him because he knew. People stopped recognizing him these last years but back when his mother first released that book, journalists and some other people would recognize him. What if that guy just did recognize him. Kim Dokja suddenly wanted to get out of this subway as soon as possible. He’d walk to his job. Or even better, he could just, not go to work. He could take the subway in the other direction, get home, lock himself in and never go out again. What a great idea. He thought that he got used to it, that it wouldn’t affect him anymore after all this time. But when it came to that guy, Dokja wanted to have the best image possible, he didn’t want that guy to think that he was weird, that his family was dysfunctional, that his mother was in jail and that is father was dead. He wanted the stranger to think that he was normal, that he had a normal life and that he was going well.
But, Kim Dokja thought about it for a bit. Something about that stranger was different from other people. That guy really did feel familiar. And when Kim Dokja dared to look in his eyes again, he seemed caring, not an ounce of disgust in his gaze. Maybe Kim Dokja couldn't understand it but it was obvious in his look that he couldn't care less about the past of the guy in front of him. His look was almost... loving. Kim Dokja felt embarrassed as his eyes faced the other's but this time, he kept looking at the man. He couldn’t stop, he was like drawn to him. And suddenly, Kim Dokja wanted the time to stop, the desire to stay in that subway forever, with this guy, came back, the need to stay with that guy forever was invading his mind, chasing all the other thoughts he could've had minutes ago. He wanted to flee with him. To another city, or another country, another continent, another planet, universe, or even world line… Kim Dokja saw that a tear was running down the other man’s face. And then, Kim Dokja noticed tears streaming down his cheeks as well. Why though? He had no idea. He just knew those tears were real and legitimate. As if he had fought more than his whole life for this moment. As if he had fought for it during his previous life too.
As if by mutual agreement, the two men got up at the same time and left the subway together. Kim Dokja had missed his stop a long time ago anyway. What stop did they get off at? Where did they go together? Who knows. It's not up to me, it is their own decision after all.