Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

monday, september 17th, 2012

you had been in arcadia bay, oregon, for a total of six months, and you were starting to get used to it. it was a quaint seaside town with a little diner, a now-private high school, and a lighthouse atop a cliff that overlooked the ocean. it really was beautiful.

you'd heard of blackwell academy through a family friend, but you hadn't been sure what to expect. it felt a little odd that it was a private school that focused more on the arts, but who were you to complain? they had classes that covered all sorts of arts, and that's why you were there. they even had the famed photographer mark jefferson, who had been working there for a couple of years. you were two years too late to experience the theatre program, though, and you were a tiny bit bummed about that.

you weren't quite sure why you didn't finish off the year at your old school before moving, but your parents had insisted. you ended up taking a little break from school for a few extra months as you weren't able to transfer immediately to blackwell.

it was now the second week of your junior year, and you'd already met a cast of characters. you were already friends with dana ward, and you'd met a girl named rachel amber, though you didn't see her around as often. you'd had a few conversations with a kid called warren graham, who told you he'd skipped a few grades, making him the only fifteen-year-old in his junior year. you'd also met victoria chase, and within minutes of talking to her, you knew she was going to get on your nerves.

your first encounter with nathan prescott was particularly memorable. his last name being plastered all over the school had piqued your interest, and through a quick online search, you learned about his family's presence in the town. you'd soon discovered who he was when you found him tucked into a corner of the courtyard with another student, taking turns smoking a blunt. it was a peculiar sight.

"what are you looking at?"

you raised an eyebrow at him. "not much, apparently."

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

you motioned towards him. "all i'm saying is that your name is everywhere, but here you are, smoking weed on the front lawn."

"i'll have you know that my family practically owns this town. i won't get in trouble for this."

"i don't care about that," you said. "do what you want. you're just not what i was expecting."

you met up with dana on your way to your first class of the day. you'd met dana on your first day, and you quickly became friends. she'd introduced you to her best friend, juliet watson, and told you about her mild distaste for victoria.

"i know the year just started, but i'm already kind of tired of it," she told you, readjusting her bag. "i think it's because i know how the people here are, and they're exhausting. too much drama."

you fully agreed with her. you'd been placed in the girl's dormitory since that's where there was room, and so far, you'd heard a lot of screaming and doors slamming. whenever that happened, you would lock your door and put your headphones on. better to pretend it wasn't happening.

your still life drawing teacher was a thin man with a heinous moustache. you didn't like looking at him, but you otherwise liked him well enough. he gave useful feedback and didn't bore you to sleep. dana, on the other hand, was always too busy texting to pay attention, so you would give her a rundown of the class and tell her about any assignments or projects.

by the time class was over, you'd taken up a whole sheet of your notebook with little doodles. today's class had been especially uneventful, and you were feeling a little restless. almost nothing had stuck, but you did hear that the first big project was coming up, and you took note of the start date.

victoria was waiting outside of the classroom when you exited. she pulled dana away, and by extension, you.

"hey, dana, will you come to the vortex club meeting on wednesday? we could really use your help."

you'd briefly heard of the vortex club, but you weren't really sure what it was. judging by the fact that victoria was part of it, though, you guessed it was some sort of elite social group.

"yes, i'll be there," dana answered, a little exasperated.

"good." victoria was about to walk away, but she stopped and gave you a once over. "you're the new student, right?"

"yeah."

"and you're friends with dana?"

"yeah."

"then how would you like to come to the meeting? you don't have to join, but how about you just come by and check it out? we're in the process of rebuilding it, and any support we can get would be great."

not sure how to decline, you accepted the invitation. "i'll be there with dana."

"awesome. see you two later." she strolled off.

"i thought you didn't like her," you said to dana.

"i don't really, but she seems to like me, so i try to be nice to her."

you supposed you couldn't fault her for that. as long as you didn't have to interact too much with them, if someone liked you, you were open to tolerating them.

"who else is part of the club?" you asked. "or associated with it, i guess."

"well, nathan, of course, and his friend hayden jones. juliet sometimes goes with me to meetings, but we're kind of in the same boat when it comes to victoria. speaking of which, she has two minions, taylor and courtney, who are irritating in a different way than her. there are a few jocks as well."

you hummed. "sounds like a special bunch."

she laughed. "i guess it is kind of a typical popular club. but maybe it won't be if you're there."

"i never said i was going to join."

"i know, i know. but if people know you're affiliated with it, maybe they won't think it's so bad."

"or they'll think i'm someone i'm not."

"i guess you're right." she didn't speak for a moment. "anyway, the meeting's not until wednesday, so let's forget about it for now."

wednesday, september 19th, 2012

after your classes had ended for the day, you found yourself in dana's room. juliet was already there, lounging on dana's bed. you exchanged a greeting with her, and she told you that dana had just gone to the bathroom.

"so, you're the newbie dana's been gushing about," juliet said. you realised you'd never been alone with her before. any time you'd interacted with her, she'd been with dana.

"if it makes you feel better, she talks about you a lot, too," you replied coolly. although she seemed fine, you weren't sure how she'd act towards you without dana being there. you knew plenty of people who put up a different front depending on who they were with.

"it does a little." she stared at you. "so, what's there to know about you?"

you hesitated. "um, not much. i moved here about half a year ago to study art, and i mostly draw."

"why are you interested in the vortex club?"

"i'm not really. victoria told me to come to the meeting today to check it out, and i couldn't figure out how to say no. she seems like someone whose bad side i don't want to be on."

juliet nodded. "you're right about that."

"can i ask why you're interested in it?"

"well, it's a good way to meet people, even if they're mostly stuck-up rich kids." she shrugged. "i'm also curious to see if victoria can stick to her words. i know she wants to make it into a social club, but i don't know if she can deliver."

"i guess we'll find out."

the door opened, and dana entered the room. "oh, good, you're here. i just have to grab my bag, and i'll be ready to go."

since you weren't leaving campus, you had only brought your phone, your keys, a pack of cigarettes, a box of matches, and a mint tin, which you had crammed into your pockets. juliet had a little crossbody bag, and dana had a tiny backpack.

the club meeting was being held in one of the empty classrooms in the main building. you passed the cafeteria on the way there, and as you approached, you heard a few voices overlapping each other.

one of them could be heard over the rest. "you invited them?" the voice was unfamiliar, but just from the tone, you could tell they were talking about you.

"dana and juliet would be useful members, and the newbie is friends with dana. we might be able to recruit them, too." you were easily able to distinguish victoria's voice from the rest.

dana shot you a look before opening the door. she and juliet stepped through, and a moment later, you did the same. you weren't sure why you cared if victoria knew you'd heard her, but you did.

"oh, you're all here!" she exclaimed as if they hadn't just been discussing you. "let me introduce you to the others."

even as she spoke—and you definitely missed a few names—your eyes locked with nathan's by accident. the eye contact went on for far too long, but it was as if you were frozen and couldn't tear your gaze away. you saw a flicker of surprise at first, but then he schooled his expression. meanwhile, you kept a blank look the whole time. you weren't surprised he was here, but you hadn't meant to stare at him.

"let's get started," said victoria. "taylor, the list."

a blonde girl opened a notebook and started reading off the words. "our first topic is about the name. do we keep it or change it?"

"i like it. it sounds powerful," said another girl who was sitting on victoria's other side. you guessed that was courtney.

"agreed. anyone else have an opinion?" victoria asked. maybe it was just because she liked to be the center of attention, but it seemed like she was the leader.

"let's just keep it," nathan grumbled from his spot. you'd stopped looking at each other once the meeting had started, and now he was glaring out the window.

"all right. next topic."

the rest of the meeting went by without much argument from anyone. partway through, hayden had opened a window and lit up a joint. he seemed way more interested in getting high than anything else, but you were fine with that. he was quiet and minded his own business.

as they were talking through their last point for the day, you decided to join him. you pulled out a cigarette and struck a match. with partially closed lids, hayden tilted his head at you questioningly.

you shrugged. "they're just as useful as a lighter."

from the window, you could see the look victoria gave you. she had narrowed eyes as she watched you take drags, blowing the smoke out the window as best you could. you raised an eyebrow at her, almost daring her to say something. she never did.

"thank you all for being here," she announced instead. "we made a lot of progress, and i think we're just about ready for our first event as the rebranded vortex club! i'm hoping to have it set up by the end of the month, so you better be ready to help out. that's all for today."

you used the bottom of your shoe to snuff out the rest of the cigarette, dropping it into the mint tin, then got off the desk you were sitting on. "see you around?"

hayden nodded. "see you later, dude."

victoria thanked you for stopping by and expressed her wish for you to consider joining the club. you told her you'd think about it, and she smiled at you. you didn't know her well enough to tell if it was real or not, but you brushed it off. you had other things to think about.

"i didn't know you smoked," dana said to you as her, juliet, and you were returning to the dorms.

"only sometimes," you answered. "mostly when i'm stressed or anxious, but also when i'm bored."

juliet surprised you by declaring, "you're officially cool in my book. the way you were silently challenging victoria was so awesome. almost no one has the courage to go against her, much less stand up to her."

you looked at her with a confused expression. "i didn't know i was doing that. i mean, other than the cigarette."

"maybe it's 'cause i've known her longer, but you definitely gave her something to think about."

you weren't entirely sure what that meant, but you decided in the moment that it was a good thing.

monday, october 1st, 2012

victoria was close to nathan, that much you knew, but you didn't really know anything about their relationship. you'd been invited to a few hangouts with victoria—who you learned liked you well enough—since the first vortex meeting, and he would almost always be there, but you never spoke or interacted. you only watched him, and that was how you learned about his anger and instability. just from observing, you could feel the rage radiating from him. but however curious you were about him, he didn't want to be approached, and you didn't want to set him off.

your second interaction with him wasn't of your own accord. victoria cornered you in a mostly empty hallway, and once the others saw her approach, they immediately vacated. she didn't seem particularly mad, but she did look irritated. when she was in front of you, she turned around, arms crossed and foot tapping the ground rhythmically.

"come on," she called out.

you saw nathan begrudgingly turn the corner. he was glaring hard at victoria, a frown etched on his face. you were intrigued. what did victoria want from you, and what did nathan have to do with it?

"uhh," you said cautiously. "hey?"

victoria's foot-tapping became more incessant as she looked at nathan. he glared even harder at her and then sighed.

"i need your help."

your eyes widened in confusion. "with what?"

"mister jefferson's latest assignment for us is to find someone who will model while we try out different techniques—different from what we usually do." you'd seen some of nathan's photos before. they were dark in both style and content, but for some reason, you couldn't help but be drawn to them.

"okay...why me?"

he let out another breath. "because you seem to be one of the more tolerable people here."

"wow, thanks." before he could say anything else, you said, "why not just use victoria?"

irate, he said, "i already asked. she claims she's too busy."

"i am busy. courtney's birthday is next week, and taylor and i still have to plan it."

without meaning to, you blurted, "since when have you cared about courtney or taylor?"

that made nathan smirk, but victoria's eyes were daggers as she whirled on you.

"i'll have you know that i do actually care about them; they're just sometimes too dim to handle."

you shrugged. "okay. well, nathan, in return, you can be the model for my assignment."

he gave you a look. "use vic. or dana."

"i think this is a fair trade. otherwise, you can go find someone else."

"i hate to agree, but i do," victoria said.

nathan scoffed. "fine. whatever."

"see, now that wasn't so hard, was it?" victoria smirked at him.

"shut up."

victoria turned back to you. "give me your phone." you handed it over, and she rolled her eyes when you didn't unlock it. "there. now you two can sort out details."

with that, she sauntered away. nathan shot a final glance at you before following.

shaking your head, you pocketed your phone again. you put your headphones on as you went outside to find a quiet spot to draw. walking towards the front of the school, dana's voice barely cut through the music blasting into your ears. you looked around, slipping them off of one ear.

"oh, hey." you came to a stop so she could catch up. "what's up?"

"not much. did victoria tell you about the vortex club party?"

"no, she hasn't mentioned anything."

"well, it's this friday, starting around eight. do you think you'll go?"

"probably. it seems as though i've been roped into the club," you answered.

juliet appeared out of nowhere, and the two best friends started talking about classes. you took the time to type out a text to the new number saved to your contacts.

you
what time works for you?

nate
tomorrow night at seven.
in the parking lot.

you noticed that victoria had put his name in as nate, so you changed it to prescott, and went back to the fountain.

"what was that about?" dana asked.

"huh? i was just sending a text."

"you had a weird look on your face, is all."

"did i? well, i'll be honest," you conceded, wanting to tell someone about it, "it's because it is a weird situation."

"what is?" juliet wondered, suddenly interested.

"victoria and nathan approached me earlier," you began. "nathan needed someone to model for an assignment, and he more or less said i wasn't as annoying as most of the people here."

both girls just stared at you. "what?" they exclaimed in unison.

"that's what i thought, too." you shrugged, still not sure what to think. "i made him help me with one of my projects in return."

"i never would've thought that'd ever happen," said dana.

"and i can't believe you got him to help you back," juliet added. "i've always thought he was too self-absorbed to return favours."

"i think victoria agreeing with me helped a lot." you mindlessly pulled out your phone, checking the time. "anyway, i think i'm gonna go take a nap before dinner. i'll see you two later."

tuesday, october 2nd, 2012

the next day, you woke up from an afternoon nap due to your phone continuously chiming. you glanced at it, and saw that almost all of the notifications were from the group chat you were in with the vortex club members. but the one that caught your attention was from nathan.

prescott
change of plans.
two whales at 6:30.

raising an eyebrow, you checked the time, only to see that you needed to get moving to be on time. you found an energy bar in your desk drawer and quickly ate it, then swallowed down your meds before you forgot—again. you grabbed the bag with your sketch pad and utensils and putting on your headphones, you made your way to the bus that would take you into the town.

on the bus, you went through the vortex club group chat messages. you outwardly cringed at the spamming, but a part of you was happy to be included in something social.

courtney
i'm so excited to turn seventeen

taylor
i'm so excited for you!!

courtney
i'm almost positive my dad's getting me a car

victoria
good
then i don't have to drive you around anymore
you can drive me instead

the texts went on for a bit, but you read through them all. although it was a chat meant for vortex purposes, it had turned into a chat for anything. it was mostly taylor, courtney, and victoria who used it, but you still enjoyed reading the messages.

you took your time walking down the sidewalk, glancing at the ocean. the sun was reflecting brightly off of the water. it was nice and calm, different from the constant noise of blackwell.

entering the two whales diner, you saw that none of your fellow classmates was there, which was fairly unusual. it was a pretty popular place amongst the blackwell crowd. the other patrons dutifully minded their own business. the only person that stuck out to you was across the diner. she had hair dyed bright blue, though a dark beanie was covering most of it. she was sitting across from someone with long, brown hair.

"good evening," the waitress—joyce, you finally remembered—called out to you.

"evening, joyce. hope your day's been good."

she laughed. "so far. you here by yourself? no dana or juliet?"

"no, it's just me."

"i see. your usual, then?"

"yes, please."

"i'll get that in right now."

"thanks."

you glanced around the small diner, looking for nathan. he wasn't too hard to spot since his purple jacket was easily noticeable. you sucked in a breath before going over to him.

"finally," he said as you entered his line of sight.

you sat down and didn't respond to his comment. "why are we here?"

"the project's due next monday, so i wanted to get started on it."

joyce brought out a plate with two pancakes on it, syrup and butter on the side. she shot you a questioning look as she placed the plate in front of nathan. you shrugged.

"there you go, dear," she said to the boy across from you. you heard him mumble something under his breath, not looking up at her.

she turned to you and smiled. "yours will be out soon."

"thanks, joyce."

you looked out the window and pretended you couldn't feel nathan's eyes on you. the wind was blowing lightly, shaking the leaves on the trees. you thought it was pretty.

across from you, nathan picked at his food. he would take bites every now and then, but he didn't seem that interested. even when your food arrived, his attitude didn't change towards his.

finishing your meal, you said," what were you planning for your assignment?"

he barely glanced up when he said, "the sun."

you raised an eyebrow. "that's vague. but no matter, it's your assignment, so it's whatever. just let me know what you want, i guess." he just grunted.

after you finished your meal, you saw that nathan had only eaten half of his. "you gonna finish that?"

"no."

"you gonna take it with you?"

"no."

"okay." you signalled joyce over. "then i will." he gave you a disgusted look but didn't say anything.

"i assume you're paying separately?" she asked.

"yeah, but i'd like a box, too. since he's not going to finish his food, i will. why waste it?"

"can't argue with that, honey. i'll be right back."

once the food was boxed up, you quietly stared across the table at nathan. he just looked back at you. you were going to wait for him to speak first. you could do this all day.

finally, nathan spoke. "beach. let's go." he got up and threw a bill on the table. your eyes widened at the twenty since the meal was less than ten, but you pulled out enough to cover your meal and placed it neatly down. you got up and followed him.

"thank you," you called out as you passed joyce, waving to her. she smiled and gave a little wave back.

as you were about to exit, you saw that the person across from the blue-haired girl was the ever-illusive rachel amber. victoria had mentioned her a few times, and you'd heard tales from other students. you'd only interacted with her a handful of times as you didn't see her very much.

"hi, rachel."

she turned more so she was fully facing you. "oh, hey." she introduced you to her friend, chloe, who greeted you with a flick of the wrist.

you glanced up to see nathan staring impatiently at you through the window. "sorry, i've got to go, but it was nice seeing you. and meeting you, chloe."

you quickly exited and made your way to nathan, letting him decide where to go. you were just there to help him, after all. he stopped at a waterlogged piece of driftwood. "did you bring drawing stuff?" you nodded. "get comfortable or whatever."

you blinked at his awkward bluntness but did as he said. you pulled out your sketchbook to start working on drawing the setting sun, quickly taking a picture for later reference.

you turned on your music and took a moment to just listen before getting started. music always got you in the zone when you drew, sketched, or painted. that, and it was grounding.

it was easy to forget about your surroundings. drawing always did that to you. you got sucked into the moment, and nothing around you mattered. you liked when that happened because it was a distraction—a distraction from the cruel world you knew.

the sun setting meant nothing to you. even as the light faded, you continued to draw. it was something you were used to. some nights, you would wake up in a cold sweat and would draw in the dark to steady yourself.

it was almost completely dark when nathan spoke again. he told you it was too dark for him to work any longer and would be going back to the dorms.

"you coming?" he asked.

"oh. yeah." you quickly packed up your things and followed him back to the main road. at the bus stop, you said, "well, i guess i'll see you later."

he just stood there and stared at you. "i...i could give you a ride. since we're going to the same place."

you thought about it. you knew nathan wasn't the nicest of people, and you didn't know him very well, but in the past couple of hours you'd been with him, he didn't seem as bad as people said. "sure."

you got into the passenger side of his red pickup truck and stared out the window at the passing scenery. neither of you spoke, but that was okay with you. while you didn't usually prefer silence, it was sometimes necessary. now felt like one of those times.

the car suddenly stopped. you were still a block from the school. heart thundering in your chest, you looked over at nathan. from what you could see, he didn't look well—to say the least—though he almost never looked well. at that moment, his hands were shaking, sweat was rolling down his forehead and neck, and his face was pale and scrunched into a look you couldn't decipher.

"uh...you okay?" you asked hesitantly.

he didn't look at you. his voice was hoarse but raspy. "get out. now." you tried to say something, but his voice rose and was filled with what you thought might be anguish or panic.

quickly, you grabbed your belongings and got out of the vehicle. you didn't bother thanking him for the ride. you took one last look at him before running to your room. you put your leftovers in the mini-fridge and plugged in your phone. you then turned on the light so you could observe the evening's work.

for the next few hours, you worked on the drawing. it took your mind off of the troubled boy. when you finally turned in for the night, your thoughts were racing. for too long, your mind wouldn't leave nathan prescott. he'd never been your favourite person, but seeing him the way he was in his car, you couldn't help but worry about him.

thursday, october 4th, 2012

two days later, during the lunch break, you were sitting with victoria, courtney, taylor, hayden, and zachary in front of the school. victoria had invited you to hang out with her and some of her friends. you saw trevor and justin nearby, skating while sharing a joint. your group was doing the same, though it was mostly hayden. you were halfway through a cigarette. it wasn't the most inconspicuous place for smoking, but no one cared.

as courtney and taylor chattered with each other, hayden was pretty much stoned out of his mind, and zachary was too busy watching dana from across the courtyard. no one was paying you any mind. you turned to victoria.

"i know this isn't my place," you started, "but can you tell me something about nathan?"

she gave you a wary look. "depends on what it is."

you took a drag of your cigarette as you tried to gather your thoughts. "we met on tuesday, and when we were done, he offered me a ride back to the dorms. about a block away, he kicked me out. he didn't look good, shaking and sweating and such. seemed like a panic attack to me. i'm aware that he has some issues, so i was thinking that if i knew a little more about him, maybe i would know how to handle him. if i'm going to spend time with him, even if it's just for a few days, i feel like it would be good to know."

victoria gave you a long, hard stare. you couldn't tell what she was thinking. she didn't say anything for long enough that you thought you'd gone too far. finally, she spoke. "he...he does have issues, but they're not mine to talk about."

"i get it," you said. "i was only wondering." you took another drag, blowing the smoke away from victoria's direction.

as if on cue, nathan walked up to the group. he looked irritated, but that was usual. he snatched the joint from hayden, who probably would've cared more if he wasn't so high. "hey, man, how's it going?" nathan ignored him, opting just to take a hit instead.

"hey, nate," victoria said, glancing at the boy, worry etched on her face. "where have you been?"

he didn't respond for a moment but eventually grunted out, "had some stuff to do."

victoria's expression narrowed, changing from worry to something else. meanwhile, you pretended you weren't listening to them, instead focusing on the last of your cigarette and watching the wind rustle the leaves on trees and on the ground.

a light nudge against your leg broke you from your trance-like gaze. "huh?"

"i asked if you would like to come to my little birthday get-together next week," courtney said with a smile. you hadn't realised your ability to get along with victoria extended to those closest to her.

"oh, uh," you started, surprised. "sure, i guess."

"you don't have to, but know you're invited," she said. "it'll start out with some shopping with vic and taylor, but you're welcome to join. you'd be far more interesting than any of the boys. the rest will honestly probably end up like a vortex club party, but without any losers."

you shrugged. "that sounds like it could be fun; i'll let you know."

she smiled again, then went back to talking to taylor. you put out the cigarette and added it to your collection that was stored in a mint tin.

"taylor and i have something else planned for after the shopping portion," victoria whispered in your ear. "we can always rearrange if you take her up on coming."

you shrugged. "i'll think about it."

"don't take too long."

"what are vortex parties usually like?" you wondered out of curiosity. the first one of the year was the next day, but you wanted to know beforehand what they might be like.

"what you'd expect a high school party to be like," she answered. "drinking and getting high, mostly, but there are hookups and dancing, too."

"yeah, you're right. that is what i expected from a high school party."

"anyway, how are the projects going?"

"as i said, we went to the beach two nights ago so he could take pictures. i haven't started on mine yet," you said.

"now's as good a time as any." she pointed her head in nathan's direction. he was moodily looking around the courtyard.

"you're not wrong."

"i never am," she smirked. you didn't voice your disagreement.

you pulled out your drawing pad and a pencil, swiftly getting to work. for your first piece, you decided to draw what was there, although nathan was still the focus. you were glad hayden was holding the joint, not wanting to cause anything—though you knew no one cared; it's not like the prescotts could be touched. since you didn't want to ruin the moment by asking if you could take a picture, you'd later have to work from memory, but it seemed like a good exercise.

soon, it was just you and nathan left. the rest claimed they had other things to attend to. you wanted to call bullshit, but it's not like it mattered. nathan held his position the whole time. you weren't sure if he was aware that you were drawing him or if he was so far gone that he hadn't noticed. either way, you kept drawing.

when you were finished, for the time being, you packed up your belongings and got up, brushing your clothes off. as you turned to leave, something tightly grabbed your wrist. you looked back and saw that nathan was gripping you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"what is it?" you asked.

"the parking lot at dawn," was all he said, letting go and looking at his phone.

"right..."

you stopped by the vending machine to grab a snack before going back to the dorms, where you got out your laptop and checked your social media. as you slowly ate, you saw that both taylor and courtney had found you and requested to be friends. social media was more of something you had, not something you used. you would look at it once or twice a day, but almost never posted. you checked out their profiles and rolled your eyes when it was stereotypical mean girl shit. but at least they had fun. your own profile was pretty empty, with just a few sporadic updates.

your phone chimed, signalling a new message. you almost always had the ringer on because it made you feel important when you got a notification. you picked it up, but ignored it when you saw it was just the vortex chat. you closed out of your socials and started writing a paper for your english class.

two hours later, you took a break. you'd gotten about halfway through your outline and wanted to do anything else by then. you unlocked and opened the window above your desk, carefully sliding the screen out of place before lighting a cigarette. you had a lighter, but you liked the action of lighting matches. it was more time-consuming, but it was different. after all, wasn't the point of life to be different?

from your room, you could see into the little courtyard. you watched zachary and logan throw a football back and forth while alyssa sat on one of the benches. brooke was flying her drone by the tobanga, and justin was skating from one end of the pavement to the other. victoria, taylor, and courtney were sitting on the steps as stella read a book on the grass nearby. you were sitting atop your desk, legs hanging through the opening.

the early october weather in oregon was still nice. it was warm and sunny, with enough breeze to warrant a jacket of some sort. it hadn't rained yet, but there was still time for it.

this wasn't what you'd pictured your life being when you first moved to arcadia bay, but you couldn't complain.

friday, october 5th, 2012

just before dawn, you were already waiting in the parking lot, drawing materials tucked into your bag. you'd learned that nathan was almost always early or didn't even bother to show up, which annoyed you to no end because he would be the one to ask—ask was a strong word; it was more like demand—to meet.

not five minutes later, you heard him approach, and you were glad waking up wasn't all for naught. you only woke up early to go to class, but it was seven o'clock, and classes didn't start for another hour and a half.

"i want to be back before class," you told him.

"we will." he started walking towards the back of the school. he led you to a door that you always assumed was locked, but with a few jiggles, it clicked open. you were in a back hallway that looked like it hadn't been touched in years.

"where are we going?" you asked, a bit nervous about where he was taking you.

"you'll see."

a few minutes later, you were on the rooftop. for a moment, all you could do was stare at the view. you watched the few students awake mill about the courtyard below you. the sunrise was spectacular, and it felt like you could see all of arcadia bay from here.

"it's beautiful," you said in a slightly hushed tone. it felt like speaking above a whisper would disrupt the morning peace.

"i come up here to think sometimes," you heard nathan distantly. he was still by the door with a watchful eye.

"it's a good place to do so," you told him. "i think the light will make for good photos." nathan only nodded. "do you mind if i smoke first?"

"as long as i can have a drag or two."

you held a cigarette between your lips, pulling out your matches and lighting one against the box. the flame immediately started burning the paper, and you took a breath in. the whole time, nathan just watched you with a blank expression. you took a few more before handing it to him, and he did the same.

there were two crates by one of the railings, and that's where you decided to set up. you pulled out your materials and got started. this time, you opted not to listen to music. you wanted to enjoy the morning for once, as silent as it was. you heard nathan's camera click, but you did your best to ignore it. you took a moment to finish your cigarette before getting started with your drawing.

"there's fifteen minutes until classes start," he announced at some point. you'd hadn't been paying attention to anything other than your work, much less the time.

as you packed your things up, you debated on trying to converse with him. "will i get to see any of these photos?" you asked.

"maybe. but after the project is finished." he started walking towards the door. "will you show me any of your drawings?"

it seemed kind of odd that he wanted to look at them, but you weren't going to tell him no. "if you'd like."

before you parted ways in the hallway, you said, "see you at the party tonight?"

nathan shrugged. "probably."

the first vortex club party of the year was in full swing by the time you made it there. hours beforehand, you'd gone over to dana's room, and she'd helped you find something to wear—mostly because she was excited to do so, and you weren't opposed. it was a little last-minute, but she pulled together an outfit for you. it was comfortable yet stylish, and you felt good.

you could distantly hear the pounding bass as you, dana, and juliet approached the swimming pool. the first location idea had been the parking lot, but the group had quickly decided that it wouldn't be the best for a private party, and it wasn't the best place for any inconspicuous activities—especially with madsen wandering the grounds.

when you arrived, you saw how few people there really were, and it dawned on you that the club didn't actually have very many people. it had about ten core members, not including you. a handful of others had been invited, but even then, it still felt severely lacking in terms of action.

"you guys made it!" victoria called over the music. she waved you closer, pointing out the drinks and snacks. "grab whatever you want and come join us."

together, you, juliet, and dana milled about the table, looking through the assortment. you ended up with a hard seltzer and a few of the store-bought desserts to go with it. as you were at a swimming pool, there weren't the best seats around, but half a dozen fold-up chairs had been brought in. a few students were messing around in the pool.

"we're still working on parts of the club to make it even better, but welcome to the first official party of the rebuilt vortex club!" victoria said, smiling. you returned it, albeit a little confused. you still didn't understand why she talked to you. you weren't too much like her, and she seemed to think anyone who wasn't rich or popular was unworthy of her attention. but whatever, you decided. better not to be on her bad side.

"it's a pretty impressive feat," you told her honestly. transforming the vortex club from its original state and throwing its original purpose out the window was impressive, even if you didn't entirely agree with it.

you cracked open your seltzer and took a few sips, humming as you swallowed the carbonated drink. the fruitiness made the drink slightly more pleasant. as you took a bite of one of your cookies, you looked around at the others.

hayden was, unsurprisingly, smoking a joint by the pool while logan and zachary were trying to shove each other's heads under the water. he laughed whenever one of them succeeded.

nearby, taylor was stripping down to her swimsuit while courtney was getting ready to jump in. for once, they looked like they were genuinely having fun, not following victoria around like little chicks.

there was a girl, whose name you thought was sarah, watching from a distance. she looked a little nervous, which you understood. being in the presence of both nathan prescott and victoria chase could be a tiny bit intimidating, especially if they were both in a mood.

the other students—whose names you had no clue—talked to each other more than anything, seemingly enjoying the party on their own. and eventually, dana and juliet left your sides to go swim, which left you alone with just victoria and nathan.

"so, how are the projects going?" victoria asked, the only one who wanted to talk.

"good," you said. nathan shrugged. "i turned mine in today, so i don't have to worry about it anymore." you'd stayed up a few too many nights to work on your pieces, but sometimes your art was worth the sacrifice.

"can i see them? i don't think i've actually ever seen your art before."

you took out your phone and pulled up pictures. unlike most people, you felt comfortable handing her the device since you had nothing interesting on it. you were sure the only thing anyone would have to say about your phone was how boring it was.

"these are insanely good," she told you. "i can't believe i'm friends with someone so talented."

her words caught you by surprise. you didn't really consider yourselves friends, but if she said you were, who were you to argue? again, it was better that she liked you, even if you had no idea why.

as victoria commented on your work, you shifted your gaze to nathan. he was looking over victoria's shoulder, but he didn't say anything. for some reason, that didn't sit right with you. with a start, you realised you cared what he thought, what he had to say. maybe because he was the subject, but you couldn't be sure.

as they kept looking—how long were they going to take?—you took more sips of your drink. you'd already finished your food, and now you were itching for a smoke. you set your can down and pulled out a cigarette, lighting a match and putting it to your lips.

"are you two snooping?" you asked lazily, exhaling. you didn't really care as there was nothing notable on your phone, but you kind of wanted your phone back.

"yes," nathan said simply while victoria quickly denied it. "your camera role is very dry."

"i know," you replied. "there's not much to take photos of when you have few friends and don't go outside very often."

"i beg to differ," said victoria. "some of my best photos were taken inside."

for a while longer, you conversed with victoria before she left to join the others in the pool. you took her seat, watching them have fun together.

"can't swim?" nathan asked. you could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

"i actually don't own a bathing suit," you shot back. "i never needed one until i moved here, but even now, i don't go swimming. if i'm at the beach, i usually just walk on the sand and watch the water instead."

nathan didn't respond. you looked over at him and saw that he was playing with a loose thread on his shirt. you took a risk and offered him your cigarette. he looked surprised at first but slowly took it.

"what's up?" hayden's voice cut into the silence between you two. he plopped down in the seat on the other side of you. "how are you liking the party?"

"it's not bad," you answered. "feels nice to relax."

"i agree with you."

"i think you're always relaxed," you teased. he shrugged, smiling. he handed you his joint, and you took a hit.

by the time you thought about going back to your room, you had finished your drink and another cigarette. you checked the time and saw that it was barely past midnight. it wasn't particularly late, but you didn't really want to risk the possibility of getting caught out of the dorms after curfew. granted, the curfew wasn't really adhered to or strictly enforced, but it still made you anxious.

you stood up, swaying the slightest bit as you tried to balance yourself. you fist-bumped hayden before going to find victoria.

"hey, i'm heading back to the dorms," you said to her. "it was great being here. thanks for setting it up and for inviting me."

"it's no big deal. i'm glad you had fun. see you later."

"we're gonna stay a bit longer," dana told you when you asked if they were coming with. "we're almost finished with this game." you nodded and bid her a good night.

as you were leaving, you noticed nathan had disappeared. you raised an eyebrow but decided it wasn't something you had to worry about right now. however, you found him sitting on the sidewalk outside of the building.

"too loud?" you wondered as you walked closer. he looked up at you with blank eyes and a blank face, then nodded.

"my head's killing me."

"lucky for you, i have a cure." you slid open the matchbox and took out the packet of painkillers you kept in it. you never knew when you would encounter a headache or a muscle pain, so it was always good to be prepared. "i don't have anything to drink, though."

"you're...kinda weird," he stated, ripping the packet open and dumping the little pills into his palm. he lifted a nearly empty plastic water bottle and drank them down.

"so i've been told." you stood next to him for a beat longer. "well, goodnight, i guess. i'll see you around."

saturday, november 3rd, 2012

halloween seemed to be a favourite holiday amongst the blackwell crowd. the vortex club had thrown another party, though it was open to more people. of course, it was a costume party, so people showed up in all sorts of outfits and costumes. dana had convinced you to let her do your makeup, which turned out to be a full skeletal face. victoria had told you it reminded her of nathan's face paint from when he was in the school's production of the tempest two years prior, which you had become extremely curious about. you hadn't known nathan was into theatre at all, and the newly acquired information only made you wish you'd been able to experience the program even more.

"i feel like i'm still hungover from halloween." juliet groaned into her hands. she and dana were in your room as you'd been watching movies together, but you'd decided to take a break. "are either of you hungry? i kind of want two whales."

"i could go for some two whales," you piped up, realising now how hungry you were. the diner's food was good for hangovers, but it was also good sober.

"i'll drive," said dana. somehow, she was the only one who had fully recovered. you hadn't gotten super wasted or anything, but there was just something about that night that had you feeling off, even now.

the drive to the diner was as it normally was. the windows were open, and music was blasting through the car's speakers. you were in the passenger's seat, nodding along to whatever song was playing. behind you, juliet was singing loudly. it felt good to let loose with your friends.

the diner was oddly busy for a saturday afternoon. you managed to snatch the only empty booth—which was closest to the bathrooms, the one most people seemed to avoid—but the barstools were full, and there were a few people standing by the jukebox.

juliet and dana squeezed into one side together, leaving you by yourself. you didn't mind, though. you found it easier to talk to people when you could look directly at them.

as joyce wasn't working, the service was a tad slower than you were used to, but you didn't mind. you were able to actually look over the menu for once, even though you already knew you were going to order the same thing you always did.

"what the fuck?" you heard a voice demand from behind you. "i came here to get away from people." turning in your seat, you saw nathan standing in the doorway.

you raised your eyebrows at the two across from you, asking them a silent question. dana shrugged, but juliet made a face. before she could argue, however, you leaned over the back of the booth and tapped nathan on the arm. he flinched, whirling in your direction, his mouth open as if he were going to say something.

"oh. it's just you."

"it's not being alone, but you're welcome to join us," you told him. his eyes flickered to dana and juliet, then back to you. he didn't say anything as he sat down next to you. "we were surprised by how busy it was, too."

the waiter came by a few minutes later to take your order and left the four of you in awkward silence. you were aware of how many people disliked nathan, but after that one morning on the rooftop, you couldn't help but feel like you'd made some sort of connection with him, however slight. you just hoped it wasn't one-sided.

"you never showed me your photos from that project," you said, suddenly remembering. "i showed you my drawings."

"my camera's in my truck," he mumbled, not making eye contact with any of you.

"then you'll have to show me after we eat," you replied with the smallest smile. he crooked his head to the side, unspeaking.

another stretch of silence enveloped the group. you had a feeling juliet and dana didn't feel comfortable talking as they normally did with nathan around, and you were sure he didn't want to hear it. so, you tried to include everyone in the conversation. it seemed like an obligation as you had invited nathan to sit with you.

"does anyone have any plans for break?" you asked, hoping to break the tension a little.

"not really," answered dana. "i think i'll probably stay at blackwell. my parents will be away then, so there's no point in going home."

"my mom's coming to visit for a day, but that's all," replied juliet.

"what about you, nathan?" you prompted.

"no."

"are you staying at school?"

he shrugged. "nowhere else to go."

you hummed. "well, i'm going to go visit my family. any of you are welcome to come with me." you knew your parents wouldn't mind an extra mouth to feed, so you extended the invitation in case any of them didn't want to be alone for the break.

"thanks for thinking of us," dana said. "that's nice of you."

the food arriving halted the conversation, which was a relief. you weren't sure how much more small talk you could take, and you were the one talking.

after you finished eating and paid your bills, you stopped by the bathroom to take your meds. for some reason, it was kind of embarrassing for other people to know you were on medication, even if you only remembered to take it once a month. there was just something about others knowing you were a bit fucked in the head that made you uncomfortable.

after you exited the diner, juliet and dana stopped before you parted ways to look at nathan's photos. "do you want us to wait for you? since we all drove here together?"

"oh, uh..." you hadn't thought about that. you didn't want to make them wait for you, but you didn't think nathan would want to drive you. you supposed you could take the bus back to the dorms. "no, that's all right. i'll get back on my own."

"you're sure?" juliet confirmed.

you nodded. "yeah, don't worry about me. i'll see you two later, okay?"

they both gave you one last look before heading off towards dana's car. you and nathan watched until they disappeared from sight, then made your way to nathan's truck.

he climbed into the driver's seat, leaving you standing outside. "what are you waiting for? get in." you scrambled into the seat next to him.  he clicked through photos on his camera for a moment before stopping and handing it over to you. "don't click left."

as curious as you were, you listened to him. you slowly looked through each image, taking in as many details as possible. you were truly in awe of his talent. most of them were of sunsets, where the light created shadows on your face, but your favourites were of the sunrise. not only did they remind you of that day on the roof, but they also showed you that the sunrise could be just as beautiful as the sunset.

"these are absolutely incredible," you told him. "you capture...everything so well."

"do you mean that?" he asked, which surprised you, making you look up.

"of course i do! i mean, have you seen these? they're insane."

"for some reason, it's not the same coming from you."

"oh." you bit your lip in thought. "well, i guess my words don't mean much since we're not really friends or anything." you lowered the camera, glancing out the window, suddenly disheartened. you hated that his words meant more to you than they should've.

"that's...that's not what i meant," he mumbled quietly, causing you to look at him. "i meant that in a good way. it doesn't feel genuine when it's a teacher or anyone else. but from you, it kind of does."

"oh," you repeated. "that—that means a lot to me, actually."

he shot you a look. "don't get used to it."

"i would never," you replied, smiling.

"you headed back to the dorms?" he asked a moment later. you nodded. "i'll drive you."

you startled, even though he'd driven you before. last time, he'd had some sort of panic attack, and you weren't sure what had caused it. "are you sure?"

"you're already in here, and that's where i'm going, too. let's go before i change my mind."

"all right, then. thanks."

the drive to blackwell was much different from the drive to the diner, filled with soft music instead. one of nathan's index fingers rhythmically tapped the steering wheel as he drove, and you couldn't help but watch him. there was just something about him that held your attention, made you unable to look away.

as you were about to get out of the truck, nathan stopped you. "hey, wait a minute."

"what's up?"

"your offer earlier, about the break." he seemed nervous, so you nodded encouragingly at him. "was...did you mean that?"

"of course," you assured him. "i don't want you to spend it alone if you have nowhere else to go."

"okay."

it wasn't a confirmation, but you took it to mean maybe, and that was good enough.

wednesday, november 21st, 2012

after classes let out, you headed to your room to pack up your things. although you were going home, you weren't sure what of yours your parents had kept, so you didn't want to risk leaving anything behind.

dana stopped by at some point and ended up lounging on your bed as you gathered your things. she looked through the assortment of scattered belongings, and you told her stories about them.

"you never told me you were so interesting," she commented after you told her about the time you climbed the bottom of a bridge and got a deep cut that turned into a kinda gnarly scar. "can i see it?"

you lifted the hair from the back of your neck and pointed it out. it ran from just above the base of your neck to the top of your shoulder blades. although it was raised, it was still smooth to the touch. "i'm still not entirely sure how it happened. all i remember is that it bled a lot. the back of my shirt was soaked by the time i got home, and my parents were pretty pissed."

when you realised it was after five, you said your goodbyes and headed to the parking lot with your bags. a part of you wanted to see if nathan was around, and the best way to know was to see if his car was in the lot. if he wasn't, you would just send him a text.

what you found, however, was not what you were expecting. he was leaning against his truck, looking at his phone. he kept typing, deleting, and retyping. you walked towards him. "nathan?"

"shit!" he exclaimed, locking his phone. he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, but you ignored it. "what are you doing?"

"i, uh—" he paused, swallowing. "i decided i'd take you up on your offer. you know, about the break? i figured going with you couldn't be worse than staying here or going home."

instead of replying to his sort of jab, you smiled. "i'm glad you're coming with me. i think it'll be fun."

"right. so...are we going?"

"oh, right. we have to take the bus to the diner so i can get my car," you said, starting to walk away.

"wait a minute," he cut in. "you've had a car this whole damn time?"

you stopped and looked back at him. "well, sort of. since i don't go anywhere other than the diner, i thought it'd be best to leave it elsewhere and just take the bus. my parents have a friend here in arcadia bay, and they're letting me keep my car in their garage."

"you're saying i didn't have to drive you around this whole time," he huffed. "un-fucking-believable."

"i'm sorry," you responded. "i kind of forget i have it, so i never thought to mention it. i didn't mean to make you drive me places." you didn't bring up the fact that he'd offered each time he'd driven you.

you heard what could have been a muffled laugh. "i'm not actually mad. a little annoyed, sure, but that's actually kind of amusing. it makes sense, i guess. but i like to be able to escape whenever i want."

"i get that. i've found that finding a secluded place on campus works well enough for me, though, so i don't ever feel the need to leave."

as you waited for the bus, you noticed the duffle bag nathan was carrying. it was a dark purple, matching the jacket he was wearing, and you could see embroidered initials on the front: njp.

"my parents live three or four hours inland," you started, "so we'll probably get there between nine and ten. have you eaten dinner yet?"

he shook his head. "i was finishing up an assignment, so i didn't get around to it. but i'm not really hungry right now."

"good, nor am i. let's get on the road and get something to eat later. if anything, my parents will have food, so we can always eat when we get there."

you sat quietly on the bus, but when you got to your parent's friend's house, you asked, "will you want to drive at all? my car's kind of crappy sometimes, but it works just fine."

"you're okay with people driving your car?"

you shrugged. "there are other things for me to be worried about."

"yeah, then i'll drive some."

"cool. i'll go let them know i'm here. you can either stay out here or come in with me. it shouldn't be more than ten minutes either way."

he stared for a moment before making up his mind. "i'll come in. i don't want to stand out here and look like a creep."

knocking on the door, you and nathan stood on the doorstep. as you lowered your arm, your fingers accidentally grazed his, and you couldn't help but apologise at the sudden contact.

"it's fine," he grumbled, forcing you to stop talking. "it's not a big deal."

the door opening prevented the conversation from progressing. "oh, it's you! it's good to see you again!"

"good evening, mister simmons. i'm just here for my car."

"oh, that's right. you're visiting your parents this holiday break, aren't you?"

"yep." you suddenly remembered you hadn't introduced nathan. "this is nathan, by the way. we go to school together."

"it's nice to meet you, nathan," mister simmons said. nathan just nodded his head, hands still stuffed into his pockets. "anyway, the door to the garage is unlocked, and your keys are right inside. marissa used it a few days ago, so it's working. the tank should be full, too."

"thank you so much," you said. "i really appreciate your letting me keep it here and taking it out every week."

"it's not a problem. give your parents a hug from us, okay?"

"i definitely will. thanks again!"

"enjoy the break, you two."

"thanks. have a good holiday."

after the first few visits, you'd learned that mister simmons liked to talk. he'd ask you about how you were adjusting to arcadia bay, how blackwell was, whether you liked living by the beach better. you would usually indulge him as you found his chatter entertaining, but there were days when all you wanted to do was get out of there.

today was one of those days, and you were relieved when he let you go without much more talk. you tried not to make it seem like you were in a hurry, but you knew nathan noticed when he told you to calm down. "what's the rush?"

"he sometimes gets on my nerves. kind of like victoria when she's complaining because it just doesn't stop."

he barked out a laugh before quickly covering his mouth. "don't tell her about that."

"about what? the fact that i hate when she complains or the fact that you laughed?"

"both. she'd have our heads if she knew."

the beginning of the drive felt a little awkward. music played through the speakers, so you weren't sitting in complete silence, but you couldn't find anything to talk about. it wasn't like you were really friends. you weren't sure what was okay to talk or ask about, and you didn't want to risk setting him off—even if you didn't know what you'd done. by the time you gathered the courage to say anything, though, you saw that he was fast asleep, heading resting against the window.

you stopped at a diner about halfway through the drive. it was nearing eight o'clock, which meant most restaurants were still open, but you wanted something quick so you could keep moving. you were glad that nathan had woken up on his own, which meant you didn't have to worry about how to.

as you ate, nathan extricated half a dozen bottles from his jacket and placed them on the table. it took a moment for the orange of them to register in your brain.

"what, have you never seen a psycho before?" he asked gruffly, uncapping one of them.

"no, no, that's not it," you assured him. you rooted around in your bag before revealing three identical bottles. "i just never feel comfortable taking my meds in front of people, so i was surprised when you just pulled them out."

he blinked a few times. "what's wrong with you?" you blinked back, not sure exactly what he meant by that. "why do you have to take pills, i mean? if, um, you don't mind me asking."

"oh. well, one's for depression, one's for anxiety, and one's a mood stabiliser," you explained. "i'm not very good with remembering to take them, though. since i got to arcadia bay, i think i've managed to remember about once a month. and i always wonder why i feel like shit." you more so mumbled the last part to yourself, but nathan seemed to have heard you anyway.

"do yours really help you?" he asked.

you tilted your head. "i'm not really sure. sometimes, i think they do, but when i haven't taken them in a bit, i feel like everything's the same."

"i feel that way, too. my therapist is insistent that i take them, but my dad thinks they're a waste. he says nothing's wrong with me, that i'm just a fuck up on my own."

"does your dad really think that?" you wondered.

"without a doubt. you didn't hear him rag on me before the tempest. he more or less called me an embarrassment to the prescott name, that i was ruining his reputation."

"well, if it means anything to you, i don't think you're an embarrassment. i don't care about your name or your reputation. i think you're extremely talented. i would've liked to have seen you in the tempest."

"i don't think so," he retorted. "i messed up my lines so badly and honestly nearly pissed myself. and not to mention getting booed by some of the audience."

"well, will you tell me about it, then? the acting, i mean. they cut the program before i got here. was that the only performance?"

he stared you down for a moment. "it was the only one i was in. there's not much to say. mister keaton was the teacher, but he left when blackwell got rid of the program. i'd say ask victoria, but i have a feeling she's still bitter about it."

"how so?"

"she was the understudy for rachel's character, prospera. something happened the night of the performance, and she passed out. she still hasn't told me exactly what happened. all i know is that she's had it out for rachel and chloe ever since."

you'd met rachel before—an intelligent girl with a troubled background—but you had no idea who chloe was. you expressed that to nathan.

"she was just some punk that got kicked out the same year. i don't know what happened to her, but i don't really give a shit."

at this point, you'd both eaten everything you were going to. you hadn't realised how long you'd been talking, but glancing at the clock across the diner, you saw that it was just after nine-thirty. your eyes widened. "crap! we need to get going. now, it'll be around midnight before we get there."

you both dropped some cash on the table and went back to your car. "i can drive the rest of the way," he offered. "if you want to nap or something."

"oh, sure. thanks. i still have the address pulled up on my phone, so you can just use it."

you stayed awake for another hour or so. as nathan was driving, you were the one to talk. since he'd told you a bit about his dad and his previous acting experience, you decided you'd return the sentiment. you explained how you'd gotten into drawing and what your parents were like.

"i saw an artist online when i was about eight, and that was when i knew," you said. "my parents were a bit sceptical at first—they wanted me to study something in s.t.e.m.—but they're fine now. i mean, they let me come here, after all."

when you glanced over at him, he looked like he was thinking hard about something. you gently prodded him. "um, i was just wondering..." he cleared his throat. "and feel free not to answer if you don't want to...but how'd you get diagnosed? and start taking medication?"

you pondered the idea of telling him. it wasn't that you were ashamed or anything, but it was just a part of you that was so closely guarded that you weren't sure you were ready—or wanted, really—to share it with anyone. even nathan, who you somehow trusted wouldn't go telling people. "i'm sorry, but i'm not comfortable talking about it yet."

you could tell he was disappointed, but he didn't say anything about it. "no, i get it. it's not like we want to let people know just how fucked up we are."

you nodded slightly. "exactly. i don't want to give people an easy reason to target me or treat me differently. but i will tell you this: it all started when i was eleven."

it was minutes to midnight when you arrived at your house. you'd just woken up from a nap, eyes unfocused and tired, but you perked up seeing the familiar front door lit up by the lamp hanging above it. you smiled fondly.

"i think my parents will be asleep now, so we'll have to be quiet," you said, grabbing your bags from the backseat. "lucky for us, they just have a cat."

nathan followed you up the front walkway and was silent as you fumbled with your key. you noted that your parents still hadn't gotten the lock fixed from when you'd accidentally jammed it in a fit of irritation a month before you left for arcadia bay.

the inside of the house was dark, but you knew the layout well. still, you turned on your phone's flashlight for nathan's sake. the staircase leading up was slightly off to the left, and you slipped your shoes off on the other side. "we're a no-shoes-inside kind of household," you whispered, motioning for him to do the same, to which he obeyed.

your bedroom was just how you left it, albeit a little empty. all of the art and furniture you'd left was still there, but the sheets and comforter had been changed. you set your things down as quietly as possible and flopped onto the bed with a sigh. a moment later, you sat up to see nathan standing by the dresser.

"there is a guest room, but i'm not sure if they turned it into an office like they were planning yet," you admitted. "since it's late, and if you're okay with it, you can just sleep in here. there should be a futon mattress in the closet." you didn't dare bring up the fact that there was room in your bed. again, you weren't close like that, and you had an inkling he'd get mad at you for saying that.

"that's fine."

"the bathroom's the first door on the left. meanwhile, i'll get the mattress set up."

once he'd left the room, you turned on the bedside lamp, then rummaged around the top of the closet. you found the mattress and unrolled it on the floor next to your bed. as you didn't know how long it'd gone untouched, you placed a sheet over it. you set one of your pillows on it and found a few blankets in the dresser.

by the time nathan returned, it was all set up, and you'd already changed into your sleeping clothes. "let me know if you need more blankets or another pillow. i'll be back soon," you said as you left to take your turn in the bathroom.

in the dark, he asked, "what did you tell your parents about my being here?"

"i didn't tell them much about you, just that we go to school together. i offered a place to stay during break and you agreed." he didn't reply, just hummed. "by the way, i should probably warn you that my parents are a little...nosy. they're going to ask you a lot of questions, but it's only because they care."

"you should've told me that before we came," he huffed.

"oh, you'll be fine. they're just curious."

"whatever you say."

thursday, november 22nd, 2012

your parents bombarded you with questions when you saw them for breakfast. they asked about arcadia bay, blackwell, classes, friends. you did your best to answer all of them, but they moved on so fast that you couldn't keep up. when they finally zeroed in on nathan, you gave him a smile that might've come out more as a grimace. you sometimes forgot just how fast they moved.

"you're nathan, right? we haven't heard much about you at all, but it's good to meet you. now, tell us about you. what's your favourite subject? what do you do for fun? have they gotten you into trouble at all?"

nathan did his best to answer their questions as well, but you could tell he was drowning a little. "oh, before i forget, mister simmons wanted me to give you a hug from him and marissa."

"oh, that's nice of him. marissa's such a sweet girl. she hasn't crashed your car, has she?"

"no, my car's fine. she takes it out at least once a week, and she's always good about keeping it clean and filled."

"that's good to hear. anyway, we'll be eating dinner at six o'clock tonight. since it's your break, we won't make you help us, but feel free to. now, why don't you two go do something fun?"

with an easy escape, you sped back upstairs, nathan behind you. you collapsed on your bed, heart pounding a little. "damn, i forgot how much they like to talk. i'm sorry about them."

"it's a lot, but it's different from my parents," he replied. "it's...interesting."

you snorted. "that's one word for them." as you tried to think of something else to say, you saw nathan peering around your room. there were drawings from when you were in middle school hung up, as well as prints of famous pieces.

"that's by diane arbus, isn't it?" you looked at the print he was pointing to.

"i think so. i just thought it looked cool." it was a black-and-white photograph of a woman with her arms out as she swallowed a sword in front of a tent. there was just something about it that you were drawn to.

"did you tell your parents that we're friends?" he asked suddenly, a complete change of topic.

"i guess so. i just said that we occasionally hung out, which is true."

"oh."

"why do you keep asking?"

"i don't know. i just feel like they're expecting something else. people don't usually bring acquaintances home for the holidays."

it took a moment, but you finally followed his train of thought. you couldn't help but let out a laugh. "it's not you specifically. they think i'm dating anyone i bring here because i rarely do. just deny it if they ask; they'll back off." you gave him a smile. "anyway, what do you want to do? i'm sure we could find something around here, but i kind of want to get out for a bit. i could show you around the neighbourhood. there's a park nearby that you might like for taking photos. and there's the forest, of course."

you'd heard about the crazy wildfire that devastated overlook park two years prior, how it started one day and miraculously put itself out another. it seemed as though you were two years too late to everything in arcadia bay.

"let's just go to the park," he said, interrupting your thoughts. "i don't really feel like getting lost in the woods today."

the two of you finished getting ready and then headed to your car. you told your parents you'd be back, that you were off to do some exploring. "be back before five!" it was only eleven o'clock, but you promised you would anyway.

in a good mood, you cranked the volume up and let some familiar metalcore play through the speakers. as you mouthed along to the words, you felt a sudden, unmistakable feeling settle in your chest: contentment. for the first time since you stepped foot in arcadia bay, you felt content. as pretty and picturesque as the town was, something about it made your insides clench, like something was wrong. but in that moment, everything was okay.

"you didn't strike me as the type to listen to this," nathan said over the music. you turned it down so you could hear him better.

"what, the fact that i smoke didn't tell you?" you retorted playfully.

"so? justin smokes weed, but he likes rap," he replied.

"that was a joke." you looked over at him to see that he was glancing out the window. "how we look doesn't determine the rest of us. i smoke sometimes and listen to metal, but i also enjoy drawing and playing video games. i prefer mornings over nights and indulging in fictional worlds and characters." he didn't say anything. "from what i've gathered about you, you look like a typical rich kid, but you like photography and whales, and you were into acting at one point."

the conversation stopped there as you pulled into a parking spot. nathan looked thoughtful as you walked towards the stone pathway that led through the park. you stayed by his side for the first few minutes before getting distracted by a dog.

"what's your dog's name?" you asked the surly-looking man in a trucker hat.

"his name's pompidou," the man answered.

you scratched pompidou behind the ears, and when he started licking you, you internally cringed at the slobber. as you looked up at the man, you saw he'd taken his hat off to fix his hair. "wait a minute. you're frank. i've seen you around the two whales diner. i'm pretty sure i've seen some blackwell students buy weed from you."

he grunted. "oh, so you're one of those kids. i hope you know better than to say anything."

"i do. my lips are sealed." you stood back up after giving pompidou one last pet. "if i were to smoke weed, why would i snitch on my dealer?"

he only said, "some of you kids have caused me serious grief." he looked past you. "is that prescott?"

in your periphery, you saw nathan walking closer. you gave him a questioning look, but he didn't even look your way. "frank."

"prescott." he huffed. "tell your friend hayden that he still owes me." nathan only blinked.

unsure of what to do, you spoke up. "um, well, it was nice meeting you and your dog, but we should probably get going." you tugged on nathan's jacket sleeve, pulling him away from frank.

"what's up with you?" you asked cautiously once you were a good distance away. "i don't think i've ever seen you so blank-faced before."

"he gives me a weird feeling. i can't explain it." he then shrugged, walking faster, and you nearly had to run to keep up.

for a while, the two of you wandered through the park. nathan took photos while you smoked a cigarette, watching him. you realised you'd never really seen him at work, only been around him as you were the subject. you noticed how focused he became when he was taking a shot, how his brows furrowed, and his jaw clenched just the slightest bit.

you saw a pair nearby, and immediately, the striking blue hair caught your eye. you left nathan to his work and moved closer. "chloe? rachel?" you called to them. "what are you doing all the way out here?"

"fancy meeting you here," rachel replied with a smile. "i could ask you the same thing."

"my parents live here, and i'm visiting them for break," you told them. you put the cigarette butt in the tin.

"i'm being a bad influence on rachel, as usual," chloe said, grinning.

"it was my choice to leave early," rachel retorted. "we left tuesday morning and just drove. we ended up here last night and have been exploring."

up close, you could see that they both had tattoos you'd never noticed before. chloe's covered her right arm and included some colour. rachel's was less noticeable as it was on the back of her calf, but it was still extremely detailed.

"i love your tattoos," you said. "they're really cool."

"thanks," answered rachel. you could hear the fondness in her voice. "they were like a promise to each other."

"you know, i think you'd look pretty sick with one. it'd fit your look." chloe squinted at you. "i can picture a knife or a lighter. maybe even a skull."

rachel interjected with, "maybe you could convince evan to draw something for you."

you quickly shook your head. "i don't think so. the only time i've talked to him, he yelled at me for interrupting him."

rachel laughed. "that sounds like him. if you want, i can ask him. i think i'm the only person he doesn't yell at for talking while he's working."

"i could also just draw something myself," you said. "since that's my whole thing anyway."

"wait, seriously? i didn't know you drew. can i see some of your work? i'm so fascinated by artists and how they are able to capture things. i mean, i want to be a model, so i'm more about being on the other end."

a little surprised by her enthusiasm, you pulled out your phone and showed the pair some of your most recent drawings.

"no fucking way, is that nathan prescott?" chloe asked, incredulous.

you nodded. "yeah. we worked together for a bit to complete separate projects."

"you make him look better than he does."

rachel snorted. "chloe, that's mean."

"so? he's a dick."

"um." you cleared your throat. "we're actually kind of...friendly? i guess you could say that. he's actually here with me." you motioned behind you, where nathan was now looking down at his camera and frowning.

while rachel looked mildly surprised, chloe's eyes were narrowed and her lip was curled. "why?"

"i invited him to stay with me during break. well, i actually invited him, dana, and juliet, but the other two already had plans," you explained. "i just didn't want him to spend it alone."

"i don't get being nice to him because he's never been anything but rude, but it's your choice." she adjusted her beanie and didn't say anything more.

neither you nor amber got the chance because he suddenly looked up and noticed all three of you. his expression went from confused to surprised to irritated in just seconds. he walked over and stood slightly behind you.

"rachel. chloe." he spoke chloe's name a bit tighter, subtly grimacing.

"hi, nathan. i heard you're visiting their parents with them," rachel said.

he nodded, unspeaking. you could feel the tension within the group and you wanted to cut it short. "um, well, i think we should get going. there's still more to see here." you paused, not sure what else to say. "it was nice seeing you two again."

"i'll see you at school," rachel told you.

"see ya around," chloe said. the two walked away, leaving you and nathan alone.

after a moment of silence, you decided, "i want to show you something. you showed me your place to escape on the roof; it's only fair that i show you mine. i think you'll like it."

technically, the spot wasn't in the park; it was in the nearby woods. there was a chain link fence meant to block people from getting further into the trees, but there was a hidden part that had been torn off, making a hole just big enough for you to slip through. you snickered when nathan's jacket got caught on the fence but helped unhook it.

deeper into the woods, there was a large douglas-fir that held a treehouse. you climbed the ladder and looked down at nathan when you realised he wasn't behind you. "come on!" he made a face before following you up.

the inside of the treehouse was as cozy as it could be. granted, you hadn't been there in over six months, and it was kind of rundown to begin with, but it held a certain charm that you basked in. through the windows, you could see over the tops of most other trees, getting a nice view of the mountains on one side and the rest of the city on the other.

"what do you think? isn't it cool?"

"it's not the school rooftop, but yeah, it's pretty nice," he answered, to which you smiled at. "i can see why you like it so much."

you were glad that the two of you were at a stage of being able to share your favourite spots with each other. perhaps you weren't friends yet, but you were surely making your way there.

you spent another hour in the woods, soaking in the sounds of nature, away from blackwell, and far from your worries. by the time you returned to your house, it was late afternoon, and you were ready for a nap.

as you tucked yourself in, you heard nathan clicking through his camera. you drifted in and out of sleep until you were called for dinner.

your parents had put together a whole meal fit for what seemed like a dozen people. there were plates upon plates of food, and you were nearly overwhelmed by it all. you didn't know how you'd be able to finish everything, even as leftovers. you knew that nathan had a varying appetite, and you yourself didn't tend to eat a whole lot. but you supposed you could bring some back to school.

afterwards, both you and nathan thanked your parents for the meal. you started clearing the table before they insisted you stop, but you argued that they'd spent the day cooking, so the least you could do was clean up. surprisingly, nathan agreed, and they finally relented.

the two of you spent the next half an hour putting food away, rinsing dishes and putting them in the dishwasher, and wiping down the table and counters. it was quiet between you and nathan, but the television was blaring in the background as your parents watched their show. after you finished, you thanked your parents once again for the meal and bid them goodnight.

"your parents...they're a bit much, but i think i kind of like that," he said as he sat on his futon. "they're completely different from mine, and it's...nice."

you smiled softly at him. "can i ask what yours are like?"

he stiffened at that, and you were afraid you'd crossed a line, but he eventually spoke, telling you more than you'd asked for—not that you were complaining. "my older sister, kristine, has been serving in the peace corps for about six months now. she's probably one of the only people who truly understands me. my mother keeps in contact with kris more than me, and she's never really stopped my father from, well, anything.

"my father's the real problem in my life. he constantly berates me and calls me a failure. when i was in the tempest, i told him that everyone would laugh at me and bully me even more, and he didn't give a shit. he only cares about his money and his name. i'm the worst thing that ever happened to him."

you knew that nathan had a similar reputation around blackwell, but you didn't care. they could think what they wanted, but with what you'd learned about nathan by spending time with him, you'd come to find that he was so much more. he protected himself with layers and layers of artificiality, burying the fear and insecurity deep within. he was a delicate boy, constantly close to the verge of breaking. you wanted to hold him tightly, but even if you couldn't save him from shattering, you wanted to at least be there to pick up the pieces.

"you're not the worst thing that's ever happened to me," you told him as genuinely as you could. maybe you were imagining it, but you thought you saw a flicker of hope in his eyes.

friday, january 18th, 2013

since the break in november, you had spent a lot of time with nathan. you'd been formally made part of the vortex club—you only joined for dana, juliet, and nathan, to be honest—and you discovered that you got along fairly well with most of the other members. you could even stand victoria, who, for some reason, still liked you despite your recent closeness with nathan. she seemed oddly protective of him, and you concluded that they were something akin to best friends.

the winter holidays passed by with a nostalgic cloud. in no sense should it have been nostalgic—you weren't at home with your parents; you were at blackwell with an odd assortment of friends—but there was something about it that felt familiar. you exchanged gifts with dana and juliet, and were guilt-tripped into getting victoria something when she got you a new set of charcoal pencils. you even traded presents with nathan, which you were the most surprised about.

but now, classes were back in full session, and you had less time to think about your newly cemented friendships. you'd promised your parents you'd try harder in your classes, especially since your scholarship was so important to your being and staying at blackwell. you attended fewer vortex hangouts and spent more time studying for tests. you ended up hanging out with warren a bit more as you found he was a good study partner. he usually stayed focused—unless you got him started about a movie—and he actually wanted to do the work.

as you were packing up your materials after a social studies class, you were met with a familiar purple jacket blocking your view. "nathan? what are you doing here?"

"we need to talk," is all he said gruffly. he walked out of the room, and you hurried to catch up with him. instead of going to the courtyard, the parking lot, or the roof, he led you back to the dormitories. you knew where you were going when he didn't go up to the second floor. you'd never been inside his room before, only caught glimpses from the outside.

the inside of his room was dark, the windows covered and the furniture blending into the shadows. it smelled vaguely like weed, which seemed new to you. although he hung out with smokers and stoners, he never really partook in either.

sitting on the leather couch, you kept looking around to avoid starting any conversation. the walls somehow felt barren, even as they were littered with photos and posters.

"you've been avoiding me," he stated, startling you.

"what? no, i haven't. we went to the lighthouse three days ago. we texted this morning." you continued to list off your recent interactions before he stopped you.

"that's not what i meant, and you know it."

so you knew exactly what he was talking about, so what? you didn't want to think about it. right after you'd come back from the break for winter holidays, you'd been hanging out with nathan in your room. he'd allowed you to look through his camera, but you'd clicked too far back and saw a few photos you knew he didn't want you to see. troubled, you'd inadvertently started avoiding him as much as you could without seeming suspicious.

"i don't know what you want me to say." you glared icily at him. "what you do in your free time is your business, but when it involves other people without their consent, that's where it becomes a problem."

you were referring to the photos he'd taken of you while you were asleep. you had to admit that they were good photos, a little enchanting, but you still didn't like being photographed while you were unconscious.

"i already apologised," he argued. "i'll do it again if that's what it takes, but i want you to know that i just thought you looked really...peaceful. it was refreshing to see, i guess. not you specifically, but seeing people at peace is hard to find here. everyone's either too serious or too unserious. no one's relaxed enough."

you raised an eyebrow. "while i'm still mad at you, i'll accept your reasoning. you're not wrong about the people here. i just need you to promise me that you'll never take photos of people while they're unconscious again, okay?"

he looked you in the eye. "i promise."

tuesday, february 12th, 2013

valentine's day had always flown under the radar for you, but you'd been embroiled in some shenanigans by juliet due to her recent hookups with zachary. she wanted to buy him a nice present and had persuaded you to join her and dana as they searched for one.

"are you sure this is a good idea?" dana asked. "i mean, what if he's just messing with you?"

"i've already thought about that," replied juliet. "if it comes to that, i'll deal with the consequences then. right now, i just want to have fun."

you supposed you couldn't fault her for that. she was seventeen; it was a prime time to be adventurous in life. although, the more you thought about it, it was also a good time to make mistakes.

"what are you going to do about logan?" you asked dana. "since he's been pining after you since sophomore year at least." you only knew that because she'd told you about the note logan had left her in the girl's dressing tent during the tempest.

she shrugged. "i'm still not sure. i mean, he's kinda cute, but he's just too...something. i don't know what or how to explain it. but it's not about me right now. we're here to help juliet."

"actually," juliet said, "i want to know what the fuck is going on with you and nathan." she was giving you a hard look. "unless you're victoria, he doesn't get close to anyone, but you've spent so much time together since the beginning of the year. what's up with that?"

dana then turned to you as well, a similar expression on her face. "yeah, i've been wondering that, too. spill."

you didn't really know how to talk to them about your budding relationship with nathan. you were certain you could call each other friends now, but it still felt strange to think about, much less to talk about. "i don't know what there is to tell. he doesn't think i'm a complete idiot for whatever reason, and that's really all i can ask for."

"i don't believe you," they said in unison, but they didn't pressure you any further.

you wandered the store for a while with them before suddenly feeling the need to have a cigarette. you informed them before stepping out of the store and striking a match to light it up. you decided to check your phone while you had a moment.

nathan
where are u

you
i'm with dana and juliet
why?

nathan
i need to talk to u

you
can it wait?
we're at least an hour out

nathan
sure whatever
but come find me when u come back

you
i will

"there you are," juliet said when you reentered the shop. "what do you think about this?" she was holding up a jersey of a sports team you'd never heard of. you weren't even sure you knew what sport it was. "it's his favourite football team."

"i think that's pretty cool. i'm sure he'll like it," you answered. you were truthful, even if you didn't have any knowledge of the subject.

"then it's settled." she went to the register to pay.

meanwhile, dana turned to you. "if you don't have any plans on tuesday after classes, we can hang out and watch movies or something."

you smiled at her. "that sounds great."

juliet returned to you. "hey, while we're out, wanna get lunch? i feel like it's been a while since we've gone out for fun. we always just stay at school and go to vortex parties. it gets a little boring after a while."

you spent the rest of the afternoon with them, away from blackwell academy and away from the little town you'd come to know pretty well in the past eleven months. the hectic life of a blackwell student meant almost no time for yourself. it was freeing. 

after putting your things in your room, you went to find nathan. you first checked his room, but there was no answer, so you wandered around the school. your texts got no reply either, so you called him, hoping he'd find your constant bombardment annoying enough to pick up. he did.

"what?" his voice sounded off, hoarse.

"where are you? i've been looking for you, and you've been ignoring me."

"i'm in my room."

"have you been there this whole time? i knocked on the door and texted."

"maybe."

you huffed. "whatever. stay there. i swear, if you leave—"

"i won't."

you stayed on the line until you got back to his room, then knocked on the door again. you didn't hang up until he let you in. "all right, what's going on? why do you sound like you've been crying?"

"i don't," he immediately said.

"yes, you do. your eyes are also bloodshot." even in the dim light, you could tell. "come on, nathan, i know you better than you think. better than you might like, even."

he grumbled for a bit, and you sat down on his couch until he was ready to talk. you took the time to look around his room again. it'd been a while since you'd been in it, and he'd changed it up a little. there was now a projection screen hanging from the ceiling, and a silent film was playing. it suited him.

his sitting down next to you caught your attention. "you need to swear you won't tell anyone what i'm about to show you."

"you know i can't promise that."

"i promised you something; now you have to promise me something."

you had a brief, internal battle. on one hand, that was true. on the other hand, if it was something bad, you knew you'd probably have to tell someone. who would be the issue. "okay, fine. i promise i won't tell anyone."

"good." he slowly pulled off his sweater and turned away from you. for a moment, you weren't sure what was happening, but you quickly saw the ugly bruises along his spine. they were all sorts of colours of all sorts of stages.

without meaning to, you reached out to touch them. nathan hissed at the contact. "sorry," you whispered, retracting your hand. "what happened? who did you this you?"

nathan's shoulders hunched even more. "my dad."

that boiled your blood. you knew his father was a piece of shit, but you didn't think he'd go this far. you'd had the displeasure of meeting him once when you'd been driving with nathan and stopped by his house so he could grab something. his father had been leaving and asked you countless questions in a condescending tone.

"i'm so sorry," you said. "you don't deserve this."

he put his sweater back on and faced forward again. "maybe i do."

you grabbed his wrists tightly, forcing him to look at you. "no, you don't. he doesn't see that you need help. he doesn't care. it's obvious if he's beating you like this."

"it's only the first time."

"doesn't matter. he did it once, and that's enough for him to do it again. nathan, you can't keep defending him. i know you want to impress him, but he's not worth it."

"you speak like you know what exactly the fuck is going on." he was started to get a little riled, but you had a point you needed to make.

"he throws money at his problems instead of addressing them. he pays for your psychiatrist and for your meds, but that's it. he doesn't actually care, and that's no way to treat a person, especially his son. you're worth so much more than that."

you didn't realise he was crying until he collapsed against your shoulder. heavy sobs wracked his body, and you hesitantly reached out. when he didn't push you away or yell at you, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close. it was the first time you'd ever hugged him, and it saddened you that it was now.

the two of you ended up falling asleep, huddled on his couch. when you awoke, his head was on your stomach, and he was still soundly asleep. you smiled at the sight. he was almost always more peaceful asleep than awake. you were glad he was able to get some respite once in a while.

thursday, february 28th, 2013

you spent the last day of february studying with warren. a part of you was still trying to do better in your classes, so you put aside one afternoon and evening a week to do homework with warren. he helped you with any science or math you didn't understand, and you would edit his papers for him.

"we should go to the drive-in movie theatre after this," he said. "there's a new slasher flick playing that i think you'd like."

you could never tell if he was just being nice or if he was interested in you. he got quiet whenever you mentioned nathan, and you weren't sure if it was simply because he didn't like the prescott or if it was something else.

"that sounds like fun."

"let's meet at my car an hour after we finish up here?"

"as long as you're extremely careful." he'd turned sixteen only three months ago, and his driving still made you a little nervous. "otherwise, i can drive us."

"i'll be careful, don't worry."

"i was extremely anxious when i first got my licence," you told him. "i barely drove the first few months, but then my parents and i took a road trip, and they made me drive, so i had to get used to it."

"i'm getting more practise in by driving us," he replied, smiling.

for the next hour and a half, you edited his social studies paper while he looked at formulas and scrawled out corrections on your chemistry homework.

at your planned time, you made your way to the parking lot to meet back up with warren. his car was a beat-up piece of junk, but it worked. it was similar to your car, though definitely more used.

"there you are!" he waved you closer. "i was starting to think you'd ditched me."

"i would never." you slid into the passenger's seat. "after i got back to my room, i started working on a piece and it took a little longer to finish than i thought it would, that's all."

"you're here now. let's roll."

warren was right about you liking the movie. it had just the right amount of gore and suspense, and you enjoyed the cinematography. on the way back, warren told you what he liked and didn't like about it in detail. as you weren't a movie buff like him, you went by the philosophy of 'if you liked it, you liked it' and that was all.

it was close to ten o'clock now, and you were starting to get tired. he was still chattering away, even as you pulled into the parking lot, even as you got out of the car.

"thank you for going with me," he said, finally changing the subject. "i had fun today."

from the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar jacket. "so did i. have a good night, warren." without waiting for an answer, you sped off. you felt bad just leaving him there, but you needed to talk to nathan.

"wait up!" you called out to him. nathan stopped in his tracks and turned towards you.

"what do you want?"

"i've got something for you, but it's in my room."

he stared at you for a moment. under the lamplight, you could see a trail of blood dripping from his nose, and his lips were smeared in it. it looked partially dry.

"what the hell happened to you?" you stepped closer to him, wanting to reach your hand out.

he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "got into a fight with some dick outside the diner."

"will you let me help you clean up? i want to make sure you're okay."

he stared at you longer. "fine."

nathan followed you to your room and sat down on the couch. you found a roll of paper towels and wet one with water from your water bottle. you sat across from him on the table and gently wiped away the blood.

"are you hurt anywhere else?" you questioned before noticing a cut on his cheekbone. "seriously, nathan, what happened?"

"i already told you." he tried pushing you away, but you held his wrists in one hand.

"stop that. i need to make sure this cut doesn't get infected." you smeared a touch of antiseptic on it after you wiped away the small smatterings of blood. "i'm going to put a bandage on it. you can take it off once you leave if you'd like, but at least wait until you're out of my room."

once you were done cleaning him up, you sat down on your bed. you took in his appearance again, hoping you'd done a good enough job.

"what did you want to give me?" he asked, interrupting your thoughts.

"oh!" you jumped up and rummaged through your closet, pulling out a wrapped box. "this is from my parents. they wanted to apologise for it being so late, but it's a christmas present."

"what is it?"

"i'm not sure. they made me swear not to open it."

he uncertainly unwrapped the box. there was a tin of chocolate candies and a little book inside. he gingerly tried a candy before offering you one. age then opened the book and to your horror, it was photos of you as a kid.

"that's so fucking embarrassing," you grumbled. "why would they do that?"

"i think it's funny," he answered, flipping through the pages. "tell your parents i appreciate the gift." he was quiet for a moment. "this is addressed to you."

you took the envelope with your name written on it. you weren't sure what it could be or why it was in nathan's present.

hello dear,

sorry for giving away your baby pictures without asking. we just thought that your friends should have them, too.

give nathan our best, and tell him he's welcome back any time. we miss the both of you!

much love

you groaned. "god, they're so embarrassing." you handed the note to him when he reached for it.

he huffed a laugh. "at least they care."

thursday, march 28th, 2013

it was another vortex club party day, and you thought you'd probably best show up to this one. victoria had been on your ass about not attending the past few ones—"we're friends, aren't we? you don't hang out with us anymore"—and you really didn't want to deal with her constant texts about being a loser.

you didn't really dress up this time; you just threw on a pair of jeans and a slightly fancier sweater. you were only going to make her happy. you already knew you weren't going to stay long. you'd had a long and tiresome day, and all you wanted to do was take a nap.

the swimming pool was completely crowded by the time you got there. the parties had been opened up to everyone by now, so there were people everywhere. you headed straight towards the v.i.p section, knowing the rest of the club would be waiting for you there.

the lounging area had been slightly updated since the first party, with comfier chairs and more of them. you grabbed a can of beer and popped the tab open, taking a sip. since your time in arcadia bay, you had gotten used to the odd sensation of alcohol and were no longer bothered by it.

"there you are!" victoria yelled over the music. she motioned you over to her, and you took the proffered seat. "this is probably one of the last parties of the year, so i'm glad you decided to come."

"you would've hounded me until i agreed," you rebutted, though not actually irritated. "i won't stay long. i'm just here to appease you."

"i know, and i appreciate it." she smiled, then leaned away to tell courtney something.

your eyes darted around the little curtained section. hayden and nathan were sitting a bit away on the couch, sharing a joint. you decided to join them.

hayden passed you the joint, and you traded it with your beer. you took a drag, and he took a sip. "how long have you been here?" he asked.

"about five minutes. i wanted to take a nap, but victoria insisted i be here."

"that's victoria for you."

you glanced at nathan and saw that his eyes were red and unfocused. "what's up with him?"

"too much weed. he's high as shit right now."

you hummed. neither of you had brought up that day in his dorm, where he showed you the bruises on his back. you acted like nothing had happened. doing so wrenched your heart in a painful way, but you didn't want to lose his trust.

"when did he start smoking?" you asked hayden. "more than every once in a while, i mean."

"i don't know. maybe a month or two ago." he let out a puff of smoke. "he came to me in a mood one day and asked for some. i think he's started buying from frank recently, too." his eyes go wide. "oh, shit. i owe frank still."

"still or again?" you wondered, thinking back to the day you met frank and his dog in the park.

he shrugged. "doesn't really matter; i owe him either way."

for another hour, you sat beside hayden and nathan. you'd finished your beer and a cigarette, and you were ready to leave. although, truthfully, you'd been ready to leave the moment you got there.

"i think i'm heading out. after all, there's still classes tomorrow." you really were trying your best to keep your promise to your parents about keeping your grades up.

hayden gave you a lazy wave while nathan just grunted. you tapped his shoulder as a goodbye and went to find victoria.

she pouted when she saw you approaching. "don't tell me you're leaving already."

"sorry, but i'm tired." you accidentally let out a yawn as you spoke.

"okay, fine. but text me this weekend so we can hang."

"i will. have a good night."

"you, too."

on your way out, you saw rachel and chloe huddled in a corner, sharing a cigarette and a beer. without thinking, you started walking towards them. you greeted the two as you reached them.

"i didn't know you came to these parties," rachel said after a sip. "i don't think i've ever seen you at one."

"i sometimes do. i haven't been in a while since i've been studying more so i can keep my place here. warren may be young, but he's extremely smart. he helps me with all of the math and science equations that make absolutely no sense to me. he kind of sucks at writing papers, though." you laughed at the last part, remembering one of the first papers you ever edited. he'd used so many contractions you couldn't help but laugh.

"he's a complete nerd," chloe said. "i didn't interact with him much when i was here, but he seemed pretty all right. kind of reminds me of my old friend max."

you spent a little bit longer with them before heading back to your room. you changed clothes and got into bed, but then changed your mind and opened the window to have another smoke. the chilly march air was refreshing, and the pool was far enough away from the dorms that you couldn't hear the music anymore. the only sound was the few cars driving by, and it felt rather peaceful.

you snuffed out the cigarette, dropped it into the mint tin, and then closed the window. for a while, you laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling. dozens of thoughts swirled through your mind, but none of them stuck long enough for you to dwell on them.

your junior year was fast coming to a close. you'd officially been in arcadia bay for a year now, and it was nothing like you'd expected. joining a socialite club was never something you thought you'd do. you never would've thought you'd become friends with the known asshole of the school, either. but here you were, friends with the popular kids. all you could hope for now was that you didn't lose your way.