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Melissa wakes up slowly, the world around her twisting and forming into something more solid than her dark dreams. Her mouth is dry as a desert, her head pounds like a drum.
Her entire body aches. Her eyes feel wet, her face feels wet. She is in so much pain, aching, throbbing, pulsing pain that takes over until there is nothing left of her.
She feels a hand on her head. She flinches, expecting yet more pain. More questions yelled at her.
But instead, she feels a gentle touch, a hand stroking her matted hair. “You’re safe, wildfire. You’re safe.”
“S… Sara?” She breathes, her voice breaking.
“It’s ok.” Sara keeps stroking her hair, her voice endlessly soothing. Melissa can’t help but lean closer to her, desperate for comfort. “You’re ok, wildfire. I promise that you’re safe now. I promise.”
The hand stroking her head is warm, calloused, it feels so nice. Tears burn in Melissa’s eyes as the world spins around her, as it darkens and brightens like a flashlight in her eyes. She doesn’t know where she is, or what is going all. All she knows is that it hurts, that she’s sore, that she’s scared. “I… I… I wan’ dad. Want daddy…”
“I know. I know.” Sara murmurs, wiping the sweat from her pallid brow. “I know you do. I’m sorry.”
“Wan’… wan’…”
Sara sighs as Melissa goes limp again. The child is so hurt, so scared. Her body is mottled with bruises, with cuts and scrapes. Blood still stains her clothes, her hair, her skin.
It boils Sara’s blood to see Melissa like this, so hurt. How could someone do this to her? She’s just a kid. Just a little kid, so small, so vulnerable. And someone did this to her, someone tied her down and hurt her. She’s a baby. All Sara wants is to protect her.
———
Melissa wakes up in a bed. She blinks, looking around. She’s not at the flat, she is in… in… the resistance base med bay?
She feels a warm weight against her side, and turns her head to look. Even that small movement sends flickers of pain through her head, through her neck. Tears burn in her eyes.
Milo is curled up against her side, pressed against her. His eyes are shut, but she can see that his pale face is a stained, blotchy red. Her heart aches as she reaches over to hug him- but she can’t. It hurts too much. It all hurts too much.
Curled up against Milo, she starts sobbing into him. Her body is wracked with sobs, which make her convulse like she is throwing up and then sob more because it hurts, because movement hurts.
She is just glad that Milo isn’t awake. She hates the thought of him seeing her like this- she is supposed to be his protector, but right now she is far too hurt and broken to protect anyone.
She closes her eyes, even as tears still steam out of them. At least Milo is ok. At least he was safe, at least Sara kept him safe. Because she couldn’t cope with the idea of Milo not being safe.
As she drifts off, she feels arms tighten around her.
Milo sighs, blinking the sleep from his eyes. He is incredibly careful when he hugs his friend. He knows how badly it hurts to be beaten, he knows how it feels when your entire body is sore to the touch. He just wants to protect her. But how can be? He is small, weak, useless. He can’t even protect himself, never mind anyone else.
And his body still throbs from the memory of the Murphy Weapon. He still winces when Sara or Amanda get near him, even though he knows that neither of them would ever hurt him. Even though he willingly crawled into that weapon, he is still terrified of being shoved into it.
Sara promised that she destroyed it. She even showed him a piece of rubble that came from her smashing it up with a hammer. He believes her. He knows that she would never lie to him.
But he is still so, so scared. He never wanted to go through that again. And then he did. If once, why not again? They could start using him every time they need demolition.
Still, he doesn’t regret it for a second. He would do anything for Melissa. Anything at all.
But his nightmares have gotten worse again.
———
When Melissa wakes up the… fourth? Second… third time, her brain feels like someone tossed it into a blender for a few hours. But she is in slightly less pain. She is able to struggle to sit up, wincing and cursing the whole time.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
Her head snaps to the side. Sara is sitting on one of the hard plastic chairs, using a torch to read in the darkness of the med bay. But now she puts the book and torch to the side. “How are you feeling?”
“Where’s Milo?” Melissa asks immediately. She was sleeping, helpless to protect him. Anyone could have done anything to him.
“Easy. He’s ok.” Sara says. “He’s refused to leave your side since you got back. I finally forced him to go eat.”
Melissa bristles at ‘forced’, but she nods. “Zack?”
“He’s helping Bradley and Amanda with a scouting mission.”
“Dakota? Cavendish?”
“Working with Lydia to determine exactly how you were discovered, and whether or not it’s safe for you to go back to that apartment.” Sara says. “Everyone’s ok, Wildfire. I promise. Can you please try to focus on yourself?”
“I’m fine.” Melissa retorts.
“No, you’re not.” Sara says. “You’re a mess.”
Melissa rolls her eyes. “Like you’d be any better if you’d been tortured, Clover.”
Sara inhales sharply, then sighs. “It wasn’t an insult, Melissa. I’m just worried about you.”
Melissa rests her head against the wall. She can feel the tender spots, can feel the shattered remnants of a headache. But she doesn’t feel too bad right now. “Let me guess, I’m drugged to hell and back?”
“We got some strong painkillers off the black market.” Sara says.
“Great.” Melissa wants to curl up and sleep for a week. But she can’t. “Right, gimme a hand.”
She tries to swing her legs over the side of the bed. But her chest screams in agony, and her head swims, and she collapses forward right into Sara’s waiting arms.
“Nope. You’re not getting up.” Sara scolds gently, holding her close for a few moments. Despite Melissa’s tension, her humiliation, the hug feels nice. She feels a strange urge to curl up on Sara’s lap and sob, which is obviously ridiculous. Sara isn’t even her friend, much less her sister. But she is in pain, and frightened, and she wants to feel safe. She misses feeling safe.
“‘m fine.” She squirms a little, closing her eyes. “I’m fine, Sara. I don’t need your help.”
“You need help.” Sara says, gently helping her lie down again. She tucks the blanket over her. It feels comforting, like something her dad would’ve done. “It doesn’t have to be me, I’ll call someone else if you want. But you do need help, Melissa.”
“You just- you just stay.” Melissa mutters, looking up at the ceiling.
So Sara takes her hand, and holds it gently. Melissa closes her eyes, enjoying the soothing feeling of a thumb rubbing circles on her hand. This feels nice. Comfortable. Even though she hates to admit it.
After what must be a few hours, Melissa opens her eyes again. “How the hell did you manage to get us out?”
Sara’s silence is deafening. Melissa turns her head to look at her. “Sara?”
Sara sighs. “I was going to wait until you recovered.”
Melissa tenses, her entire body becoming stiff. “Sara. What did you do?”
Sara sighs, shifting in her chair. “Milo…”
“You brought Milo?!” Melissa exclaims. “He can’t fight! And what if they’d captured him?! You risked his life!”
“He stayed outside.” Sara promises. “But… ok, this sounds bad. But I need you to remember that you’re injured.”
“Sara.”
“Milo… gave us the blueprints for the Murphy Weapon.” Sara begins. The room goes deadly silent. “I didn’t like the idea, but he was sure, he was insistent. So we did it.”
“You put him in the Murphy Weapon.” Melissa repeats. Her voice is quiet, but not in a calm way- in a deadly way, like a moment of peace before a bomb explodes. “You put Milo in the fucking Murphy Weapon?!”
“Melissa, your rib-“
“I don’t give two flying fucks about my ribs! What the hell do you mean, you put Milo in the Murphy Weapon?! Are you insane?! What the hell were you thinking?!” The pain in her body seems to fade, drowned out by the flames that consume her.
“I know it was a bad idea.” Sara says. “But Milo insisted, and-“
“I don’t care if Milo threatened you at gunpoint, you should’ve said no! How could you do that to him?” Melissa is able to sit up, to glare at Sara. She clenches her fists tightly. “You know how bad it is for him! You know how much it hurts, you know how terrified he is of it, and you put him in there anyway?! What the fuck, Sara?!”
“I know, I know.” Sara says. Her voice sounds heavy, heavy with grief and guilt and exhaustion. But the fire has burned away Melissa’s ability to sympathise. “I hated doing it, Melissa. It was awful, seeing him like that. But we had no choic-“
“Yes you did!” Melissa roars. Her chest twinges painfully. “I’m sick of this, Sara! Milo needs our help, he’s needed our help since he was kidnapped, and you keep choosing other people over him! He’s your brother, you’re supposed to love him! Why can’t you prioritise Milo?!”
“Because you matter to me too!”
The grief choked anger stuns Melissa into silence. Sara is glaring at her, eyes swimming with tears. “I love Milo so much, Melissa. More than anything else in the world. But… but I love you too. You’re my little sister, and I want to take care of you. I don’t care if you’re aggressive, or bitter, I love you. And you’re just a kid. I know you don’t see yourself that way, but you’re just a kid.”
Melissa stares at her. Her throat starts to feel sore, as the fire slowly burns out, burning her throat on the way. Steam boils in her eyes, making them wets. “But… Milo. Milo needs us.”
“And Milo needs you.” Sara murmurs, reaching for Melissa’s hand. “You matter too, Melissa.”
She sighs. “I was a kid when mom and dad died. I never meant to start a resistance, I never wanted to be a leader. I just wanted to take care of you and Diogee, and I wanted to fight back. I wanted to avenge mom and dad and Milo. But then Amanda needed help, and then Bradley, and then there were all of these kids. Little kids who needed help, who I needed to help. I trained them into an army, but I hated every time I had to send them out to fight. Because every single kid started to feel like another younger sibling.”
Melissa feels Sara’s hand tighten. “And then we found out Milo was alive. And I could try to save him… but any mission probably wouldn’t work, and would almost certainly end up dooming dozens of kids. I had to choose- and I hated that. I felt awful. I- do you remember when you used to crawl into my bed at night?”
Melissa nods hesitantly. “I was scared, and sad, and you were always there.” She misses that sometimes.
“I used to just cry, once you were asleep. It felt like I was juggling dozens of balloons, fragile little balloons that I had to protect. And I couldn’t hold everything at once. And Milo’s balloon was floating above my head, and I couldn’t reach him without letting go of the other balloons.”
Sara snorts wetly. Melissa hasn’t seen her like this since… since the Murphys died. “And then I let go of you, and you flew away. And I coped badly with that. I’m so, so sorry Melissa. You were a grieving kid, I should never have pushed you away. You needed me, and I wasn’t there. I said that we weren’t family, when you were my little sister. And I’m sorry.”
Melissa feels something wet run down her face. “You… you were a kid too.” She mumbles. “And I- I- I’m sorry too.” The words feel weird in her mouth. “I know how much you love Milo. I know how hard you work. I was angry and said something stupid, and I didn’t know how to take it back. And I just get so angry, and it’s like I can’t control myself. And I say stupid things, and I don’t understand you.” She growls, rubbing at her face. “I’m an idiot. I’m a dick. And I… I’m really sorry for everything.”
“Oh, Melissa.” Sara’s voice is so, so soft. “You’re not an idiot. You’re a kid. You’re a kid, and it’s not your fault that the world doesn’t let you be one.”
“I always thought you were an adult, but you’re… you’re not an adult, are you?”
“I’m the closest thing we have to one.” Sara says wearily.
They sit in silence for a while. All of the adrenaline leaves Melissa’s body, the fire burns out, and the pain hits her like a truck. She collapses against Sara, closing her eyes. Sara holds her close, so gentle. Her hand rubs Melissa’s back.
Melissa rests her head on Sara’s shoulder. “I’m still angry.” She says. “I’m really, really angry. But I’m also sorry. I know that you care about Milo.”
“We both care about Milo.” Sara murmurs, running a gentle hand through her hair. “We’re not always gonna get everything right. But we’re trying.”
“Mhm.” Melissa feels so weak and tired, as if the fire burned away her limited energy. Her eyes flutter shut, the world fades to black.
Milo pushes open the door. He sees Sara hugging Melissa gently, before lying her down and carefully tucking her in. “Rest, little wildfire.” She murmurs.
She turns to see him, and beckons him closer with a smile and a finger over her mouth. Milo shuffles over, curling up between his sisters and closing his eyes.