Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

2003

Adora watched jealously as her twin brother Adam rushed off to meet his friends the moment they reached the school gate. The other boys greeted him happily, pulling him into their circle with an ease Adora had never understood. It had been two weeks since Adora and Adam had officially started school, and Adam had settled in like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Unlike her brother, Adora had a harder time adjusting.

“Ugh,” Adora said aloud, completely forgetting that her dad was right behind her, “I’m never going to have any friends.”

Randor laughed gently and made Adora jump in surprise. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly, smiling down at her like he knew the answer to all Adora’s problems.

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo,” Randor said, “you’ll find your people one day. You’re only five, after all. You’ve got the rest of your life to go around making friends.”

“But I want friends now,” Adora whined, because Randor didn’t get it, “I don’t want to wait until I’m old like you.”

“Ouch,” Randor laughed, clapping a hand over his chest like it hurt for real, “why don’t you hang out with your brother and his friends?”

Adora wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I can’t hang out with boys. They have germs.”

“You know, one day you won’t think that anymore,” Randor told her knowingly, but Adora couldn’t imagine that ever happening. “But okay. If you don’t want to join in with your brother, why don’t you try talking to some girls in your class?”

“I have, duh,” Adora rolled her eyes, and then pouted sadly to herself, “they think I’m weird.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little weird,” Randor said easily, “everyone’s a little weird.”

“They think I’m really weird,” Adora insisted, “everyone does. I think I talk too much, but I don’t know how to stop. How else do you make friends? You have to talk. I can’t just sit and stare at people. Because that’d be extra weird.”

“Look, kiddo, don’t worry,” Randor smiled, “you’ve only been at school for two weeks, and you’ve got a whole thirteen years left. That’s loads of time.”

It was loads of time, Adora considered. When she finally leaves school, she’ll be eighteen. Eighteen year olds were grown-ups. And grown-ups, like her parents, had lots of friends. “I guess so.”

“Hey, have I ever been wrong before?” Randor asked, and Adora shook her head no in response. “Exactly. Trust me, okay? You’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Adora said, glancing towards the school building with a certain determination in her chest. Her dad was always right, and if he said she’d make friends, then she’d make friends. “When I make friends, can I invite them over for dinner one night? You know, like Adam does?”

“Depends on how many friends you make,” Randor laughed, “I don’t think your mom would appreciate having to cook for the entire class.”

“Okay,” Adora said, and then added curiously, “do you think I’ll have a best friend?”

“I’m sure you’ll have lots of best friends,” Randor said reassuringly, “after all, you’re an amazing kid.”

“You have to say that,” Adora rolled her eyes, “you’re my dad.”

“Just because I have to say it, doesn’t mean it’s not true,” Randor smiled teasingly, and then nodded over to the school building just as the bell rang. “Go on. Have a really good day, okay? And remember, your aunt Mara is picking you up after school tonight.”

“I know,” Adora said, and after a moment of hesitation, she rushed forwards and wrapped her arms around her dad in a tight hug. He was always so tall, so her head barely came up past his stomach, and her arms could barely wrap around his waist. “Thanks, dad,” she said seriously, and then quickly let go. “Bye!”

She rushed up the concrete path towards the school building and made her way into her classroom with a renewed energy. A lot of kids were already inside, sitting down on the carpet in front of the teacher’s desk, so she knew she had a little time. The big hand wasn’t at the top of the clock, and her aunt Mara had taught her how to read a clock a little while back. Adora wasn’t amazing at it, but she knew that when the big hand was at the top, on twelve, and the little hand was on the nine, that was when her school day started.

There were a pair of girls over by the art station, Adora noticed. They basically always hung out over there. Adora smiled to herself; this was the perfect opportunity. They were obviously looking at something, so she should go up and join in.

Adora took in a deep breath and pushed it back out again. That was supposed to help with nerves, her mom always said. She walked over and stopped behind the two girls, waiting for them to notice her.

They didn’t.

They were too busy looking at a drawing on a crumpled sheet of paper. It was a picture of a little girl and a dog, done entirely in crayon, and it wasn’t very neat.

“That’s not very good,” Adora said, matter-of-factly, “I bet I could do better than that. You guys could probably draw better than that too.”

One of the girls, the blonde one, looked down at the drawing again and promptly burst into tears. The other girl put an arm around her and narrowed her brown eyes in a glare. “Uh, she did draw that, you jerk.”

“Oh,” Adora realised, and she already knew that this attempt at friendship had turned sour. She didn’t really know what exactly she’d done wrong, but she knew it was something. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it was bad. I’m sure you tried your best.”

The mean girl put her arm around the crying girl’s shoulders and scowled at Adora. “Leave us alone. Don’t you know that nobody likes you?”

“That’s not true,” Adora said quickly, “my mommy and daddy like me. And my aunt Mara. And my brother, sometimes.”

“You’re so weird,” the mean girl said, frowning, “no wonder you have no friends. Just go away.”

Adora watched as they turned and headed towards the carpet to sit down. The mean girl kept her arm around the crying one and murmured, “it’s okay, Perfuma,” as they sat down. Adora frowned, pouting, but didn’t follow them.

She didn’t understand how that went so badly. She was just being honest, after all, and trying to make conversation. Her parents told her that honesty is always the best policy.

Adora sighed and spotted another group of girls she could try to join, but their teacher walked in and called for everyone who wasn’t already sitting on the carpet to join the rest of the class. Unhappily, Adora trudged over and sank down onto the carpet, towards the back of the group.

She wished that they had desks, just like the bigger kids. In the other classrooms, desks were set out in pairs. If it were like that in the kindergarten classroom, then Adora would’ve had a partner in class. It would be so much easier to make friends if somebody had to talk to her.

Adora thought about her next attempt all through their teacher’s math lesson. She realised that she needed to find a group of kids with odd numbers, because that way there’d be one person in the group who didn’t have a best friend. She could join, become their best friend, and then everyone would like her so much that they’d make her the leader of their friendship group.

Then she’d be popular, just like Adam was.

When they were finally let out onto the playground for morning recess, Adora examined all of the different friendship groups, and easily found one with only five kids. Adora decided to take her chance, and walked over, quickly intercepting the ball they were playing with and catching it effortlessly.

“Can I play?” She asked, throwing the ball in the air and catching it again just to show them how good at sports she was. “I’m great at catching.”

“It’s a five-person game only,” a boy said, and he held out his hand for the ball, “can you throw the ball back now? We haven’t dropped it once yet, and we’re gonna see if we can do it all recess.”

“How is that a five-person game?” Adora asked, genuinely confused. “Couldn’t you just throw the ball to me too?”

“We were throwing it in a pattern,” a girl said, “you weren’t here when we started the game, so you can’t join now.”

“Oh,” Adora said quietly, but she didn’t hand the ball back, “I really can’t join? I promise, I won’t drop the ball.”

“We said no,” another boy said, “now go away. I heard you made Perfuma cry this morning, and we don’t like bullies.”

Adora frowned, because she was the furthest thing from a bully. If anything, her classmates were bullying her, because they’d never let her play with them. “I’m not a bully.”

“You made someone cry,” the girl said, “only bullies make people cry.”

“And even if you weren’t a bully,” the boy started, before Adora could defend herself, “we don’t want to play with you. You’re weird, and nobody likes you.”

“That’s not true,” Adora said pathetically, but the words had affected her. She felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes and scowled at the kids, throwing their ball away out of spite. “I didn’t want to play your stupid game anyway,” Adora said, and turned and ran back to the classroom before they could see her cry.

Their teacher wasn’t at her desk; of course not, it was recess, and she was in the teacher’s lounge. Kids aren’t allowed to go to the teacher’s lounge. There were a couple of grown-ups in the playground, on duty, but Adora didn’t want to tell on the others. That would make her a snitch, and Adora knew that everyone hated snitches.

She ran right past the teacher’s empty desk, straight to the one place she knew was always quiet.

In the corner of the classroom, there was an area that her teacher always called the ‘reading cave’. It was comprised of four bookshelves, angled to look like its own secret room, with a blanket making up the roof. There were always pillows and blankets in the reading cave, and never anyone in there, because nobody in their class knew how to read yet. Adora could hide in there and cry as much as she liked.

She slipped through the small opening between the front two bookshelves and dove into the mass of pillows and blankets. She didn’t bother holding back her tears anymore. She knew she was weird, like she’d told her dad that morning, but she thought that he was right, that it was okay. She didn’t understand how everything always went so wrong.

“What’s up with you?”

Adora paused mid-sob and pulled back from the pink unicorn cushion she’d been crying into. Staring right at her was a little girl she’d never noticed before, but she didn’t know how she’d never noticed her when she saw that her eyes were two different colours. That should’ve been hard not to notice.

“Whoa, your eyes are so cool,” Adora said, not answering the girl’s question at all, “are they real?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” The girl’s cute little nose, covered in freckles, wrinkled in annoyance at the question. “Obviously they’re real. Who would have fake eyes? Are your eyes real?”

The girl sounded really annoyed, and Adora figured she’d already messed this conversation up somehow. She decided to stop caring and answered. “Yeah. Mine are just blue, though. Yours are different. I’ve never seen anyone with eyes that are two different colours.”

“It’s called het—hetra—hetrakomy-something,” The girl said, shrugging, “that’s what my mami says. Anyway, can you stop crying so loud? I’m trying to read.”

She pulled the open book in her hand upwards, covering her face and sinking back into a collection of pillows that she’d obviously gathered up for maximum comfort. Adora watched her for a few moments, and then realised that she really was reading.

“Our teacher hasn’t taught us how to read real books yet,” Adora said, and shifted closer to the fascinating girl, “how do you know how to do it?”

“My mami taught me,” the girl said, and didn’t take her pretty eyes off the page. “She also told me that it’s rude to interrupt people while they’re reading.”

“She must teach you a lot of stuff,” Adora said, and totally missed the big hint the girl had sent, “what’s your name? I’m Adora. Do you want to be friends? How come you’re not out on the playground with everyone else? Don’t you think it’s boring to be stuck inside? Oh, were you bad? Are you in trouble? My dad told me that teachers can give you detention if you’re bad.”

The girl didn’t look up from her book or answer Adora’s questions. Adora shuffled closer again, biting down on her bottom lip and admitting, “I don’t have any friends. I don’t know why, because I try really hard to be nice to people. And—and can you believe that some kids called me a bully? Me? I’m always so nice to everyone…”

She rambled on and on about how people in class are just plain rude to her, and barely stopped for air until the bell rang. It felt good to get it all out, even though the girl obviously hadn’t been listening. Adora felt ready to try and make friends again over lunch break, now that she wasn’t thinking so much.

Once the bell rang, the girl closed her book and put it back on the shelf. She turned, frowning at Adora, looking her up and down with an expression on her face that Adora couldn’t decipher.

“You talk a lot,” she said finally, “it’s weird.”

“Oh,” Adora said, and her stomach twisted weirdly under the girl’s multicoloured gaze. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to annoy you.”

“I didn’t say it in a bad way,” the girl said as she pushed herself up, “you can be weird in a good way, you know.”

Adora blinked, and then the words sank in. A big smile spread across Adora’s face. “Really? Does that mean we’re friends?”

The girl looked at her for a few quiet moments, and then she shrugged. As she turned to leave the reading cave, she paused, and said quietly, “my name is Catra.”

“Catra,” Adora said, and the name felt like it fit perfectly in her mouth, almost like she was supposed to say it. She smiled and threw an arm around Catra’s shoulders. Now that they were both stood up, she realised just how small Catra was. “I like your name,” Adora decided, and then added quietly, “it sounds like my new best friend’s name.”

Catra looked at her for a second, and then giggled quietly. “You’re really weird.”

For once, the word didn’t bother Adora. She smiled, remembering what her dad had said that morning. “Everyone’s a little weird.”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “but you’re really weird.”

“Do you want to come to my house for dinner?” Adora asked, because somehow she knew Catra didn’t mean that in a bad way. “My dad said I’m allowed to invite my friends over for dinner.”

Catra shrugged as their teacher called out for the class to come sit back on the carpet. She ducked out from under Adora’s arm and said, “I have to ask my mami first,” before she rushed over to sit down.

Adora watched where she went. Catra sat down on the edge of the carpet, but close to the teacher’s desk. Adora thought about going to sit next to her, but got too nervous, and went to sit in her usual place.

Their teacher started the roll call, but Adora didn’t pay any attention to her. Instead, her gaze drifted across the classroom to Catra. Adora had to shuffle back a little, so she could see Catra past her other classmates. She really was tiny, and blended in a little too well.

Adora had never noticed her before, but now that she had, it was like she couldn’t stop noticing her. It was like she truly couldn’t help it, like her eyes pulled towards Catra from some magnetic curiosity. She didn’t know what it meant, or why there was a buzzing excitement at the pit of her stomach.

Maybe she was just excited to tell people she’d made a friend.

She was sure that’s what it was all through the rest of the school day. Over lunch, she considered going to find Catra in the reading cave again, but when she slipped back into the classroom, she saw Catra reading and remembered what she’d said.

“My mami said it’s rude to interrupt people when they’re reading.”

The last thing Adora wanted was for her new friend – her only friend – to think that she was rude. So she held off on bothering Catra, and instead elected to sit down by the art station, at a respectable distance, and watch Catra read.

Apparently, Catra noticed, because on the way back over to the carpet upon the bell, she walked right past Adora and said, “you stare a lot.”

Adora blushed, embarrassed at being caught, but stared after Catra anyway as she headed to sit down.

When she school day was finally over, Adora rushed out of the classroom as soon as the final bell sounded. She almost forgot her coat and backpack and had to rush back to get it, and then she bolted out of the classroom door to the playground. She dodged quickly past the other kids and their parents to see Mara, waiting in the usual spot by the school gate.

“Mara!” Adora shouted, running as fast as her legs would allow. She skidded to a halt and thudded right into her aunt. She paused to catch her breath and then said, “Guess what!”

Mara raised her eyebrows, smiling fondly. “What’s up?”

“I made a friend,” Adora declared, and then immediately whirled around to try and find Catra, “she’s really cool. She has hetty—something. In her eyes. Anyway, my dad said she could come over for dinner. Do you know if we’re having dinner with you, or at home?”

“Hold up, hold up,” Mara laughed gently, “I don’t think your dad meant tonight, Adora. Stuff like that has to be planned in advance, and your parents would have to talk to her parents about it.”

“Okay,” Adora said, only half-listening, pushing herself up on her tiptoes to locate the other girl on the playground. She couldn’t see her anywhere, but in Adora’s defence, the playground was big and full of parents picking their children up, and Adora wasn’t that tall yet. “I can’t see her. She’ll be with her parents and I want to ask her if she can come for dinner, maybe—maybe on Friday.”

“I’m sure your parents will help you organise that,” Mara said, squeezing Adora’s shoulder gently. “But why don’t you wait and ask her tomorrow? After all, you’ve got the rest of the week to go until Friday.”

“Uh,” Adora paused, uncertain, because what if Catra changed her mind by then? What if the other kids told her bad things about Adora, or if Catra starts to think that herself. Panicked, Adora turned around just as Adam walked up and shouted a quick, “be right back!” before bolting back to the classroom.

She had to push through the crowds of children coming out to meet their parents and accidentally bumped into that crybaby Perfuma on her way inside. She stopped inside the almost empty classroom, looking around, even checking the reading cave, but Catra was nowhere to be found.

As the last couple of students headed out of the doors to meet their parents, Adora walked cautiously over to her teacher and asked quietly, “excuse me, miss? Do you know if Catra left already?”

Her teacher looked up from her desk computer, surprised and a little confused at the question. “Do you mean Catrina? Catrina Driluth?”

“Uh,” Adora frowned, confused, shaking her head, “no. I mean Catra.”

“There’s no Catra in this class, Adora,” her teacher said, and then smiled gently. “It’s very common for children your age, especially lonely children, to develop invisible friends. I’m sure Catra will be somewhere around. Now run along, okay? You don’t want to keep your parents waiting.”

Her teacher looked back at her computer, and Adora opened her mouth in protest, but then her eyes widened as she realised something.

One time, her grandma Razz had told her a ghost story. And ghosts were people that weren’t alive anymore, but they showed up the way they did before they were ghosts, when they were still people. Their teacher didn’t know who Catra was, so there was obviously only one logical explanation.

Adora had made friends with a ghost.

“Are you a ghost?”

Catra looked up from her book, her pretty eyes meeting Adora’s with a confused look in them. “What?”

Adora sat down next to her in the reading cave and looked Catra up and down. She’d called her grandma last night and asked her about ghosts, and she’d asked Razz to write a few things to test out in the horse notepad she’d swiped from her mom’s office. First on the list…

“Ouch,” Catra frowned, shuffling back against the bookshelf when Adora poked her firmly in the stomach, “what was that for?”

“I’m checking if you’re a ghost,” Adora said obviously, “my grandma says that you can’t touch ghosts; your hand would go straight through. So maybe you’re not a ghost.”

Catra looked at her, a look Adora knew fairly well at this point in her life. It was that look that read ‘oh my god, you’re crazy’. Usually, it’d be followed with a loud go away.  

“You thought I was a ghost ?” Catra repeated incredulously, frowning. “You do know that ghosts aren’t real, don’t you?”

“Uh, they are,” Adora said firmly, “my grandma says so.”

“Then your grandma is dumb like you,” Catra said, “I’m not a ghost. I’m real.”

“Well, my grandma says that some ghosts don’t know that they’re ghosts,” Adora pointed out, holding up the notebook with all of Razz’s tips in. “They think they’re still people. So maybe you just don’t know it, and that’s why my hand didn’t go through when I poked you, because you still think you’re a person.”

She pointed at the second bullet point on the page, and Catra leaned a little closer, squinting to read it.

“That’s not what that says,” Catra said about the writing on the page, and then picked up her book again. “You’re weird. I’m not a ghost.”

“Then why didn’t our teacher know who you are?” Adora retorted matter-of-factly. “She has to know who every kid in class is, but I asked her about you yesterday, and she said that there’s no Catra in this class.”

Catra ignored her completely, her eyes trained down on her book. Adora batted the book out of her hands and grabbed Catra by the wrist, determined on pulling her over to the teacher and demanding answers.

“Hey!” Catra protested and shoved Adora, “I was reading.”

“Just come with me to the teacher so I can prove you’re not a ghost,” Adora said, “because if you’re not a ghost then you might be an imaginary friend. And I’m not the loser that still has imaginary friends. I’m five, I’m too old for that.”

Catra frowned at her, and Adora figured she was going to call her crazy and tell her to go away. Or just call her weird again. But then Catra rolled her pretty eyes the way Adora has seen Mara do sometimes to her friend Hope, and shrugged.

“Fine,” Catra said, “but then will you be quiet so I can read?”

Adora held out her pinky finger. Catra frowned at it, like she had no idea what to do with it.

“It’s a pinky promise,” Adora explained, reaching out and wrapping her finger around Catra’s. “You can never break pinky promises.”

“Really?” Catra asked as Adora let her go. They turned to head to the teacher’s desk, and Catra laughed quietly to herself. “I don’t know. I don’t think you know how to be quiet.”

“I’m always quiet when the teacher is talking,” Adora said, “can’t be so hard when you’re reading. If you’re not a ghost, anyway. My grandma says that if you are a ghost, I should help you find peace. Whatever that means.”

“Is the rest of your family this weird,” Catra asked, “or is it just you and your grandma?”

Adora let that comment slide as she and Catra stopped in front of the teacher. She grabbed Catra’s hand to make sure she didn’t disappear, and then cleared her throat to get the teacher’s attention.

When she looked up, Adora started talking quickly. “Excuse me, miss, sorry to bother you during your recess, but this is Catra. See? She’s not a ghost or imaginary. I poked her to check.”

“Oh,” her teacher laughed good-naturedly, and Adora whirled around quickly to make sure Catra was still there. “I did ask you if you meant Catrina, Adora. You said no, so I got confused. My mistake.”

It was Adora’s turn to frown at Catra now. “You told me your name was Catra.”

“It is Catra,” Catra said firmly, “that’s what my mami always calls me. Nobody calls me Catrina unless I’m in trouble.”

“That’s weird,” Adora said, “why would you have two names?” she turned to her teacher and asked her before Catra could respond. “Miss, why would she have two names?”

“Well, lots of people have two names, because most people have middle names,” their teacher explained kindly, “but in Catrina’s case, it’s likely just a family nickname.”

“My name isn’t Catrina. Or Nick, that's a boy's name,” Catra pouted, “it’s Catra.”

“Catrina is how it’s printed on my class register,” their teacher said, “and it’s probably how it’s printed on your birth certificate, and your passport. Legally, that’s your name. Catra is just a nickname. Like… like, Adora, you could shorten your name to Dora, and that would be a nickname.”

“But I’m not an explorer,” Adora said, and felt slightly proud of herself when Catra let out a quiet giggle beside her. “So… so Catra—I mean, Catrina—isn’t a ghost or imaginary? She just has a nickname?”

“Exactly,” their teacher smiled, “now you’re getting it.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you,” Adora said, and comforted by the fact that her new best friend isn’t invisible or imaginary or a ghost, she flashed a big grin at their teacher and tugged Catra back over to the reading cave. “I’m glad you’re not a ghost.”

Catra sank down against her big mountain of pillows and picked up her book again. “You promised you’d be quiet and let me read now.”

“Wait, Catrina,” Adora put her hand on top of the book’s cover to stop her from opening it. Catra looked at her questioningly, and Adora pulled her hand back from the book. Guiltily, she remembered what her mom told her once, that she needed to think about her impulsive thoughts before acting on them.

“Sorry,” Adora apologised, “you can read your book. It’s just—I was wondering… we’re friends, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Catra answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “just don’t call me Catrina because that’s not my name.”

“Okay, I won’t,” Adora said, and looked away from Catra’s pretty eyes nervously, “and… and you don’t think I’m weird?”

“I think you’re really weird.”

“Oh,” Adora’s stomach dropped, “okay.”

“But I like it,” Catra said, and shuffled a little closer to her. She was quiet for a few moments, but then she admitted, “people think I’m weird too.”

They were close enough that it was easy for Catra to reach out and put her hand on top of Adora’s. Her hand was really soft, Adora thought, as she slowly looked back up to meet Catra’s gaze again.

“Well,” Adora shrugged easily, “my best friend once told me that you can be weird in a good way.”

Catra frowned. “That’s what I said yesterday.”

“Exactly,” Adora said, and something good-weird happened in her tummy when Catra grinned at her. She wondered about it for a moment, but then remembered what she’d promised. “Okay, you can read your book now. I’ll be quiet.”

Catra held her gaze for a few more moments, and then flipped her book open to the first page. “Want me to read out loud? I’m slower at reading out loud than I am at reading in my head, but that way we can both read the story.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adora smiled and shifted close to Catra so she could see the book’s pages anyway, even though she couldn’t read it by herself, “I’d love that.”

2004

“She’s here!”

Adora rushed towards the front door the moment she heard the bell ring. She beat her mom there by a few seconds, paused to catch her breath, and then added, “everyone, be normal. Be cool, don’t embarrass me, because she might not want to sleep over again if you do.”

Marlena smiled softly as she picked up the front door keys, but said nothing about not embarrassing her. Adora was just relieved that her dad wasn’t home, because she knew how embarrassing he could be. Up until this year, Adora had always had a joint birthday party with Adam, where they could do whatever they wanted, as long as they could agree.

This year, it was almost the same thing. But when their parents were buying invitations to hand out to their whole class, Adora asked if she could skip the party, and just do something with Catra instead. Adam was happy that he could have a whole party to himself, probably glad that he didn’t have his embarrassing sister there, and Adora was happy that she could just spend time with Catra.

Marlena handed the keys to Adora. “I’ll let you answer the door, okay?”

“Okay,” Adora said, and she felt nervous for some reason. Maybe it was because Catra would be with her mom, and Adora didn’t know if Catra’s mom would like her.

Admittedly, she ran away one time on the playground when Catra asked if she wanted to come with her, when she asked her mami if she could sleep over. She was just really nervous, and she’d never been very good at making people like her. She didn’t want Catra’s mom to hate her and then tell Catra they couldn’t be friends anymore.

But despite how nervous she was, Adora pulled the door open and put on her best smile. It turned into a real smile when she saw Catra stood there with a Pokémon backpack on her shoulder, holding hands with a young woman.

Since Adora was only just turning six today, most older people looked really old to her. But the woman that Catra was with didn’t look like a grownup. She looked even younger than Mara, who was the youngest grownup Adora knew. She looked like Catra, if Catra was almost grown up, but the woman’s eyes were just brown instead of different colours.

“Are you Catra’s older sister?” Adora asked innocently, and then added to Catra, “you never told me you had a sister.”

Catra frowned at her like she was weird, but Adora knew that Catra never meant it in a bad way. “I don’t have a sister. This is my mami.”

“Oh,” Adora said, blushing embarrassedly. She looked at the woman apologetically and said, “I’m sorry. I just thought you looked too young to be a mom, that’s all.”

Catra’s mom smiled, but there was something underneath it that made Adora anxious. “Well, thank you for the compliment,” she said, and then addressed Marlena, “it’s nice to meet you in person. Feel free to call me if you need anything, but Catra’s always been a good girl, she shouldn’t be any trouble. I don’t know what you have planned for dinner, but I thought you should know that she is lactose intolerant so dairy is—”

“ Mami,” Catra murmured, and her freckled cheeks flooded pink, “stop being weird.”

“I’m just letting her know,” Cyra said, “we don’t want a repeat of that time you ate so much ice cream just to prove you could and—”

“Mami!” Catra interrupted loudly, “you’re embarrassing me.”

“Okay, okay,” Cyra smiled at her daughter gently, “Compórtate bien.”

“Si, mami,” Catra answered, and after a few seconds, she rushed forwards and hugged her tightly around the middle. “Te amo.”

“Te amo, mija," Cyra responded, “I’ll be here tomorrow morning to pick you up. Ten o’clock, okay?”

“Uh-huh,” Catra nodded, and then she looked over at Adora with a soft smile, “can we go play now?”

“Sure,” Adora said, and didn’t hesitate before she took Catra’s hand and tugged her down the hallway. She called behind her, “shout us when dinner is ready!” to her mom, and then pulled Catra into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

“This is my room,” Adora said, opening up her arms in a voila pose, “it’s… it’s pretty normal, I guess.”

“Whoa,” Catra said, walking over to the TV across from Adora’s bed, “you have a TV in your room?”

“Yeah,” Adora let out a nervous laugh, sitting down on the edge of her bed, “it was my aunt Mara’s old one. She moved in with her friend Hope and because my brother got our old TV for his Playstation, I got Mara’s old one. It doesn’t work except for DVDs. We can watch a DVD later, I have loads to choose from.”

“Okay,” Catra turned around and plopped down next to Adora on her bed. She surveyed the room one last time and then looked right at Adora. “How come you didn’t want to have a party with your brother?”

“I don’t like the kids in our class,” Adora said, and it wasn’t really that much of an answer, “he wanted a big party with everyone, but I… I just wanted to spend time with you. I’m sorry if you wanted to go to the party.”

“Nah,” Catra said, with a certainty Adora had rarely heard on anyone before, “I don’t care about them. I care about you.”

Adora’s stomach did that good-weird thing, the thing it always did around Catra. She smiled and reached out to throw an arm around Catra’s shoulders. “I care about you too.”

Catra smiled and looked away, glancing over to the toys and games on Adora’s shelf. She asked quietly, “can we play four in a row?”

Adora nodded, slipping off the bed to pick the box out and bring it back over. “I’m not very good at it. My dad always beats me.”

“I bet I could beat you, and your dad,” Catra said as Adora got the counters separated. She placed the red counters on Catra’s side, and the yellow ones on her own side. “My mami says I’m a genius.”

“Yeah, how come you could read real books before everyone else?” Adora asked, and put her first counter into the game, “I bet if I asked my parents, they wouldn’t teach me.”

“My mami didn’t really teach me, we would just read together sometimes and I learned how by accident,” Catra shrugged, placing her own counter, “she says I have a big… IK. Or something like that. I wasn’t supposed to start school until next year, but they made me do a test and I started early.”

“I’m glad you started early,” Adora said as she put her next counter in. She watched carefully as Catra placed another, then put her next one in. “If you hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have met you. And that would suck, because I really like you.”

Catra put her counter in and smiled mischievously. “I really like you too.”

Adora frowned, and as she went to put another counter in, she paused in her tracks. She realised quickly that Catra had three counters in a row, with a free space next to both ends. There was no way she could win. Even if she blocked one side, Catra could just put her next counter on the other side and still get four in a row.

“Hey!” Adora gasped, offended. “You tricked me.”

Catra shrugged, still smirking. “I can’t help my big IK.”

“Okay,” Adora said as she tipped the counters back out, “we’re playing this until I beat you.”

“You wanna be here forever?” Catra laughed, putting her counter in first this time. “Okay, fine.”

Adora still hadn’t beaten her by the time Marlena calls them for dinner, and the game ends up forgotten in favour of her mom’s burgers. Adora grabbed two slices of cheese, because it was her birthday, and squeezed as much ketchup on her burger as her mom would allow.

“My mom’s burgers are the best,” Adora told Catra as she placed the top bun on her finished masterpiece, “like, even better than McDonald’s. Seriously, you’ll love it.”

She dug right into her burger, and didn’t realise that Catra hadn’t taken anything until Marlena smiled and said, “grab whatever you like, Catra. There’s plenty to go around.”

“Thank you, Mrs Gray,” Catra said, strangely polite, “it looks really nice.”

Then Catra reached forwards to grab a slice of cheese. As she unwrapped it and placed it on her burger, Adora frowned. “I thought your mom said you couldn’t eat dairy.”

“I’m not supposed to eat a lot of it or I get bad tummy aches,” Catra said as she squeezed ketchup onto her burger, “but a little bit is okay.”

“So… so you could have ice cream later and it would be okay?” Adora asked, and then looked up at her mom pleadingly. “Because I really like ice cream.”

“Don’t you want birthday cake instead?” Marlena asked, and Adora nodded quickly. “Thought so.”

“Hey, Adora?” Catra asked, when there was a small silence at the dinner table. “Will you come to my house when it’s my birthday? It’s not until October, but…”

“Sure,” Adora grinned, excited because she’d never been invited to a birthday party before. “Like a birthday party?”

“Yeah, but…” Catra paused, “but just us. Like this.”

Adora smiled, nodding. She would hug Catra, if she wasn’t halfway through her dinner and more than a little covered in ketchup.

“Of course,” Adora said instead, “you’re my best friend, Cat.”

“Nobody’s ever called me Cat before,” Catra smiled, blushing slightly, and added, “I like it.”

“Well, if anybody else ever calls you it, you tell me,” Adora said, “‘cause I’ll beat them up for stealing my special nickname for you.”

Catra laughed quietly. “Okay.”

Adora finished her dinner quickly, and she was almost tempted to squeeze in a few extra fries, but didn’t. She knew that if she ate too much, she’d feel sick, and she didn’t want to feel sick on her birthday. So instead, she waited for Catra to finish her meal, and the moment her plate was empty, asked, “are you done?”

“I’m full,” Catra said, and after a few moments, her eyes widened and she looked over the table at Marlena, “thank you for dinner, Mrs Gray. It was really nice.”

Marlena smiled gently. “Please, call me Marlena, Catra. And you’re very welcome. Would you two like some birthday cake now, or do you want to wait a little while?”

Adora was full, but she’d never be too full for cake. “Yeah! Is it a chocolate cake?”

“It is,” Marlena said as she gathered up the plates, “Catra, would you like a slice of cake too?”

“Um,” Catra frowned, like it was the most important choice she’d ever had to make, “yes, please, Mrs Gray. I mean—um, Marlena.”

Marlena nodded. “Coming right up.”

Catra watched as Marlena disappeared into the kitchen with the plates, and after a few moments, she turned to Adora. “Your mom is really nice. How come—uh, never mind.”

Adora figured out what she was going to ask. “How come my dad isn’t here?”

Catra nodded slowly. “I mean, you talked about him before.”

“He’s with my brother at the big party. There had to be one of them there and one of them here, and when I asked my mom for burgers for dinner, she had to stay here,” Adora said, and then out of curiosity, she asked, “what about you? You only ever… you only ever talk about your mom.”

“I don’t know,” Catra shrugged, “I never met my dad. I don’t know what he looks like. Mami says he’s an asshole, but she also says that asshole is a bad word that I shouldn’t repeat. I asked her why I never met him or anything, and she just said she’d tell me when I’m older.”

“Oh,” Adora said, and giggled at the bad word. Saying bad words was always scandalous. One time a boy in their class got detention for saying the word ass. “Do you like living with just your mom?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “I love her a lot. She was my best friend, before I met you. Now you’re my best friend and she’s my second-best friend.”

“We should pinky swear that nobody else will ever be our best friend. Like, not even our moms, or my aunt Mara,” Adora said, and it wasn’t just because she wanted to be Catra’s best friend forever. It was because she was happy, when she was with Catra.

Catra held out her pinky, and Adora paused before wrapping her own around it. Catra frowned. “What?”

“We have to say it,” Adora said, “because this is a super pinky swear. We have to say that we’ll always be best friends, forever.”

“Yeah,” Catra nodded, “best friends forever.”

Adora wrapped her pinky tightly around Catra’s, and then pulled her best friend in for a hug. Catra seemed a little surprised by the hug, and Adora suddenly remembered the stuff her mom had told her about boundaries and almost pulled away. But Catra snuggled her face into Adora’s shoulder and hugged her back just as tightly.

Adora didn’t even notice her mom watching them from the doorway. She had no idea how long Marlena had been standing there, but when she saw her over Catra’s shoulder, she grinned and pulled back.

“Look, cake!” Adora told Catra, jumping up to grab the two plates. One slice was a little bit bigger, and Adora immediately gave that one to Catra.

Catra smiled at her, and Adora’s chest felt funny in a really good way.

2006

Adora frowned down at the paper in front of her. It was a test on everything they’d been doing so far that school year. It wasn’t supposed to be complicated, their teacher had claimed, but Adora thought it was.

At least, everyone else had been writing for ten minutes, but Adora was stuck on the first question.

She hated tests. They were stupid, and they shouldn’t be allowed. Especially because the questions were written all funny, and Adora had no choice but to sit quietly and answer them. Adora didn’t understand how the questions were worded, especially when the letters in them liked to swirl around the page.

She thought that maybe the teacher had messed with her paper. Everyone else had been writing since the test’s start, but Adora couldn’t read it. Maybe she’d been given a bad paper or something.

Adora looked up from her paper and glanced at the paper next to her. This year, she and Catra had chosen a desk together. Catra was scribbling away, already on the back of the page, and Adora realised with horror that the test was double sided. But Catra’s test also looked weird and swirly, and she didn’t understand how Catra could read it when Adora couldn’t.

“Adora, eyes on your own test.”

Adora jumped at her teacher’s voice, looking at her blank test ashamedly. “I wasn’t trying to copy.”

“Shh,” her teacher scolded, “silent working.”

“But I just—” Adora started, but her teacher shushed her again, and she pouted down at her worksheet, muttering, “I was just trying to see if Catra’s test was hard to read too.”

She looked at the test dejectedly, and almost decided on completely giving up. What was to stop her from putting in random answers, even if they were wrong? It was better than being the stupid girl who didn’t write anything. The test was multiple choice. There was a chance she could get it right.

When she chanced a look back at Catra for moral support, her best friend’s gaze was already on her. She didn’t know how long Catra had been watching her, but it had been long enough. Catra’s pencil was already rested on her test paper. She had already finished, only halfway through the allotted time.

Catra looked away from her and picked up her pencil again. Adora figured she was just taking a break, but then Catra scribbled something in her notebook and slowly tore it out. She folded it in half, and then, fake coughing, pushed it over to Adora’s side of the desk.

Adora frowned. Passing notes in class was bad. But Catra looked at her, then down at the note, then mimed writing with her pencil. Adora knew that Catra would never try to get her in trouble. Slowly, Adora unfolded the note and read what was inside.

It took her a few minutes to focus on Catra’s writing, but it was nowhere near as bad as the tiny printed text on the test paper.

Pass me your test. I will do it for you but not every anser cuz then she will know you copyed

Adora looked up from the note with wide eyes. That sounded really bad. Like, big trouble bad. They could get detention and miss playtime for weeks if they got caught. Or worse, their teacher could make them sit separately. Maybe they’d even get a phone call home.

Adora shook her head and slipped the note into her back pocket. She didn’t want their teacher to find it. Looking back up at the clock, she frowned, and after a few moments she realised there were only ten minutes left. More people were starting to finish, and Adora hadn’t even started. What was that thing her dad said sometimes? Desperate times called for desperate measures? She didn’t know what measuring had to do with anything, but Adora was desperate.

Before she could tell Catra she’d do it, another note mysteriously made its way over to Adora’s side of the table. She unfolded it and read what was inside, and at first, she didn’t understand it.

1 = A, 2 = C, 3 = A…

The note continued just like that, all the way to 20 = B, and then Adora realised there were twenty questions on the test. Catra had written out the answers for her. She’d skipped a few questions, and Adora realised it was probably because it’d look weird if Adora suddenly went from being bad at tests to getting everything right.

Adora looked up and mouthed thank you to her best friend, before she started scribbling in the correct boxes. She finished five minutes before the end of the test and tucked the other note into her pocket as well. She could throw it away at home, and that way her teacher would never know what happened.

Cheater , a voice sounded in the back of her head. She felt a little guilty, imagining how disappointed her parents would be. But then her parents would be even more disappointed if Adora failed a test or… or if Adora got held back a grade.

And if Adora got held back a grade, that meant she wouldn’t be in the same class as Catra anymore. That meant that when Catra went to middle school, Adora would be stuck in elementary for another year.

She pushed any feelings of guilt aside and tells herself she did it to keep her promise to Catra. They were best friends . They couldn’t be in different classes.

That would just be wrong.

“I can’t believe you told.”

“I just…” Adora sighed and avoided Catra’s disappointed gaze while they waited outside the classroom. “I just felt bad.”

“So? Now we’re in trouble,” Catra muttered irritably. “You should feel bad about that.”

Adora felt so guilty about cheating, and she felt even worse when her teacher had called home to tell her parents just how well she’d done on the test. Her parents then told her grandma Razz, and Mara, and Mara had told Hope, and then they’d all tried taking her out for dinner to celebrate. Adora couldn’t take it. She told her teacher everything, and now she’d called her parents and Catra’s mom into school for a serious talk.

“I do feel bad about getting you in trouble,” Adora said quietly, “it’s just—it was the best score I ever got on a test, and it was a lie. And my family were acting so proud of me, and I just couldn’t handle it. I’m really sorry, Cat.”

Catra let out a quiet sigh, and when Adora looked over at her, she looked a little guilty herself. “I’m sorry too. I was just trying to help you.”

“I know,” Adora said, pushing out a long, tired sigh herself, “I just hate tests. Do you ever feel like… like you can’t focus? Not just focus on the test, but on the actual words on the page. Do the letters ever mix up for you?”

“Uh… no,” Catra said tentatively, “but why don’t you tell your parents if you think things are hard?”

“Because…” Adora murmured, “I don’t… I don’t want people to think I’m stupid. Everyone already thinks Adam is better than me. He has loads of friends and he’s popular and he doesn’t hate tests so much.”

“I don’t think Adam is better than you,” Catra said, “I think you’re way better than him.”

“I don’t want to tell because of you, too,” Adora said quietly, letting Catra’s words sink in, “I don’t want them to put me back a grade and take you away from me.”

“They won’t do that,” Catra said, but she looked a little uncertain, “and even if they did, I’d fail all my tests on purpose so they’d put me in the same class as you again anyway.”

Adora smiled weakly, but she still felt really bad. “I can’t even do a lame multiple-choice test. You must think I’m really dumb.”

“I think you’re the smartest person ever,” Catra said easily, and when Adora looked up disbelievingly, she laughed, “okay, besides me. But seriously, you’re really smart. That doesn’t change just because you find it hard to focus on some lame test. And I’d help you cheat all over again. I don’t care if I get in trouble. You’re worth it.”

Adora felt that fizzing in her chest again, and she couldn’t help but smile at Catra’s words. It felt like the first time she’d smiled ever since the lame test in question. She opened her mouth to tell Catra that she’s her best friend, but then the classroom door swung open, and their teacher walked out, closely followed by Cyra and Adora’s parents.

“Since this was a first infraction,” Miss Weaver said stiffly, “this will not go on their permanent records. But they will have to retake the test in separate rooms, and miss playtime for the next week. If they are caught cheating again, I will separate them in class, and I will report them to the principal.”

“We won’t do it again,” Adora said, putting her hand on top of Catra’s to tell her silently that she’d do the talking. “It wasn’t Catra’s fault. She was just trying to help me because… because I think tests are really hard.”

“Well,” Miss Weaver smiled, but it wasn’t a warm one. Somehow, Miss Weaver could make smiles seem cold and scary. “Perhaps if you studied harder, you would not find it necessary to cheat.”

“I guess so,” Adora murmured quietly, at the same time as Catra scoffed and jumped up to stand.

“That’s crap,” Catra said loudly, ignoring Cyra’s gasp of, “ Catrina!” “No, mami, it is crap. Adora works so hard, and she’s so smart, so if she doesn’t understand the test, then it must be because your test is stupid.”

“Perhaps Catrina would benefit from a second week of lost playtime,” Miss Weaver said firmly, “maybe it will teach her to speak to her elders with respect. And Miss Driluth, perhaps you could implement more discipline at home? While I have you here, I must say that Catrina has always been quite an unruly child to teach.”

“Maybe I’m unruly, whatever that means, because you suck at teaching,” Catra said, folding her arms across her chest, “everyone knows you’re the worst teacher in the whole school.”

“Catrina, mija, stop,” Cyra said, and it’s the first time Adora had ever heard her sound stern. “You don’t want to get into any more trouble.”

“Listen to your mother,” Miss Weaver warned, “keep going like this, and it will go on your permanent record.”

Catra rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something else, but Adora quickly reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Stop,” Adora said quietly, and when Catra looked unsure, she reached down to take her hand. “Please. I don’t want you to get into more trouble.”

After a few moments of clear debate, Catra finally nodded. Adora squeezed her hand and looked up at Miss Weaver apologetically. “We’re really sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Catra rolled her eyes and didn’t apologise herself. Adora had to fight to stop herself from smiling at that. Catra had always been pretty stubborn.

“Look,” Marlena said, sounding tired, “they’ve apologised, and they accept that they’ll have to miss playtime and retake the test. Can we please move on from this now?”

“Yes,” Miss Weaver said, “now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find two separate rooms that will be available for them to use for their retake.”

Miss Weaver turned and stalked down the hallway, and Adora watched after her, frowning. Catra wasn’t wrong – everyone knew Miss Weaver was the harshest teacher in the whole school. She didn’t even seem to like kids at all, so nobody really knew why she was a teacher.

“Come on, Adora,” Marlena said, and Adora could already tell how disappointed she was, “let’s go home.”

“Okay,” Adora said, not wanting to make her mom even more upset. She quickly pulled Catra in for a goodbye hug and then followed her parents down the corridor. “Am I in trouble?”

“You’re grounded for two weeks,” Marlena answered, which was very much a yes , “that means no Friday sleepovers with Catra.”

“Okay,” Adora whispered in an upset agreement. She turned over her shoulder and saw Cyra talking to Catra seriously, just outside of their classroom. Catra was pouting and looked genuinely upset, and Adora felt bad that she’d gotten her best friend in trouble.

As they turned the corner out into the main office, Adora remembered what Catra had said. Why don’t you just tell your parents if you think things are hard? There were a lot of reasons not to, but Adora was desperate not to get held back, and if she didn’t figure out some way to get better at school, that was probably going to happen.

“You go ahead, Randor,” Marlena said stiffly, “I’ll sign us out with the receptionist.”

“Okay, come on, kiddo,” Randor put a gentle arm around Adora’s shoulder and steered her out of the main entrance. At least he didn’t seem too mad.

Adora was trying to figure out how to word the way she felt, and as her dad was helping her into the backseat of the car, she blurted out, “I think I might be stupid.”

“What?” Randor looked surprised, and Adora didn’t know if he’d heard what she said. She opened her mouth to say it again, but Randor shook his head and squeezed her hand. “Adora, you could never be stupid.”

“I just—I can’t do the work in school,” Adora said, “and I know Catra’s really smart and everything, but everyone else in my class is like, regular. You know, like Adam is. Even he seems to know what he’s doing. But it’s like… like when I have to do work, I look at the paper and I can’t think. And I don’t—I can’t read very well. The letters move and jumble up. That’s why Catra helped me cheat, because I didn’t know what to do or how to focus, and I don’t know… I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t think Miss Weaver would help.”

Randor looked a little concerned, and that scared her. But then he smiled comfortingly and squeezed her hand again. “Okay. Thank you for being honest with me. We’ll figure out a way to get you some extra help.”

Adora sighed. “Extra help because I’m stupid? ”

“No, Adora,” Randor said, “getting extra help isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes people just need it.”

“Feels like a bad thing,” Adora murmured anxiously, “I wish I was just smart like Catra.”

“You are smart,” Randor said easily, and Adora wasn’t sure if she believed it. “Seriously, people are smart in different ways. Just because Catra is good at tests and schoolwork, it doesn’t make her smarter than you.”

“I guess so,” Adora said, not entirely convinced. “I love you, dad. And I’m really sorry for cheating on the test and making you mad.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Randor said, and when Adora opened her mouth to protest, he smiled knowingly. “Neither is your mom. And anyway, you’re not the only kid who ever cheated on a test.”

There was a mischievous sparkle in Randor’s eyes, and Adora blinked, narrowing her eyes. “Wait, you’ve cheated on a test?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Randor smiled as Marlena left the school building in the distance, “now, let’s put all this in the past, okay?”

Adora nodded, but she glanced over at her mother’s approaching silhouette as her dad hopped into the driver’s seat. “Are you sure mom isn’t mad at me? Because she seemed mad at me.”

“I’m sure,” Randor said, “don’t worry about it anymore, alright?”

Adora nodded, but she could still see the disappointment on her mom’s face as she got into the car.

Adora knew it was bad to eavesdrop.

She also knew it was bad to leave her bedroom when she’d been sent there after dinner. She knew it was part of her punishment, part of being grounded, but when she opened her bedroom door to go to the bathroom, she heard her dad say her name.

If her parents were talking about her, surely that made it okay for her to listen, right?

She knew it wasn’t okay, but that was how she justified it to herself.

Adora crept down the hallway, closer to the kitchen, her parents’ conversation drifting ever closer.

“…do you not understand how that made me feel? Hearing my daughter tell me that she thinks she’s stupid?” Randor was saying. “She needs help, Lena. If that means going to the doctor and getting a diagnosis then—”

“She doesn’t need to be diagnosed with something to get some extra help with schoolwork,” Marlena interrupted, “we can hire a tutor for her.”

“She needs somebody who understands what she needs,” Randor said, “schools have people for that now, they have special education classes, but they need to know what type of help she needs.”

“I’m not letting them slap a label on her and push her into special ed classes,” Marlena said firmly, “she’s already an outcast as it is,” there was a pause, just enough time for Adora to feel a painful sting in her chest, until her mother said, “don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. She’s never found it easy to interact with the other kids, and the one friend she does have just manipulated her into cheating on a test.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Randor laughed, but it didn’t sound like a good laugh, “Catra is eight years old. That kid wouldn’t know how to manipulate. It’s a good thing that Adora has her.”

“That teacher wasn’t wrong, you know. Adora has been louder ever since the two of them made friends,” Marlena said, “I couldn’t believe the way she was speaking back to Miss Weaver. No wonder though, when her mother got knocked up in high school. Hardly an age to have a child.”

Adora frowned. She didn’t understand why her mom was suddenly being so mean. Catra was her best friend, and Cyra had always been so nice to her.

“Adora is louder because she’s happy," Randor said, “and Cyra is a nice girl, and she’s done well to raise Catra on her own. Catra was only talking back to the teacher because she was sticking up for Adora. She’s a good kid, and it’s not her fault that Adora decided to cheat on that test.”

“I just think that it would be better for her to spend more time with her brother and his friends, maybe some other kids too,” Marlena said, “maybe then she’d see that not everyone in class is some freaky genius child. Maybe then she’d see that other people have issues with school too. She’s young, it’s a normal thing for kids to struggle with schoolwork.”

Randor was quiet, so quiet that Adora could’ve heard a pin drop. And when he finally spoke, he said something she didn’t understand.

“From what Adora described to me,” Randor said, “it sounded like she might have dyslexia.”

“Don’t be silly,” Marlena retorted, like Randor had just told a really funny joke. “Of course she doesn’t.”

Adora didn’t get to hear what her dad said next, because someone tapped her on the shoulder and she almost screamed out loud. She held it in out of fear of getting in more trouble, and spun around to meet her brother’s gaze.

“Hey,” Adam whispered, “aren’t you supposed to be in your room?”

“I got up for the bathroom and I heard them talking about me,” Adora said quietly, ashamed, “are you going to tell on me?”

“Nah,” Adam smiled, “but you better get back to your room quick.”

“Thanks,” Adora whispered back, creeping back down the hallway to her bedroom. She closed the door quietly, sank back onto her bed, and had a lot to think about.

2007

“I could always help you with your school stuff, you know. You don’t need to go to the special tutor.”

Adora shrugged and leaned closer to Catra in their little corner of the school’s library. The book in Catra’s hand was big, and the print inside really small. Adora tried to focus on the words on the page, breaking them up and taking them one at a time, but it was still so slow and so hard.

“I think I do have to go with the special lady,” Adora said quietly – she wasn’t too fond of people knowing that she had to have a whole afternoon of special learning with a lady who specialised in speech and language needs. “My parents are kind of fighting about it. About me.”

Catra frowned. “Why would they be fighting about you?”

“My mom didn’t want my dad to take me to the doctor about… about my problems,” Adora said, “but my dad did anyway. And I think she’s upset that—that the doctor said I have dyslexia.”

“That’s not very nice,” Catra said, scowling like she was about to go and give Adora’s mom a big telling off. “It’s not like you can help it.”

“Not like that,” Adora quickly clarified, “it’s more like… I think she just worries that people will make fun of me for it.”

Catra scowled and folded her arms across her chest. “Well, if they do, I’ll beat them up.”

Adora couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Really? But you’re tiny.”

“Yeah, well, my mami said that one day I’ll get taller,” Catra said, “when I grow up. Maybe I’ll be taller than you.”

Adora laughed even more. “I don’t think so. That would be weird, if you were taller than me. Especially because you’ve always been so little.”

It was true; Catra had always been the smallest in their class. Probably because she’d started school a year earlier, so she was literally the smallest person in their class.

“Shut up,” Catra rolled her eyes, “but anyway, just because I’m small, it doesn’t mean I can’t beat people up if they upset you. I’m strong, you know. Maybe not as strong as you, but I’m still strong.”

“Yeah, I know,” Adora smiled and leaned back against the pillows on the library’s comfy chairs. “Hey, what do you think we’ll be doing in ten years?”

Catra frowned in thought. “When we’re nineteen?”

“Well, when I’m nineteen, and you’re eighteen, since you haven’t had your birthday yet,” Adora said, “I know we’ll still be best friends, because we’re going to be best friends forever, but what do you think we’ll be doing?”

“We’ll have finished school,” Catra said, “I don’t know, maybe we’ll be in college. I know my mami really wants me to go, especially because she never did.”

“You don’t have to do stuff just because your mami wants you to,” Adora told her seriously, because she knew that Catra sometimes thought about that. “You can do whatever you want.”

“I know, but I want her to be proud of me,” Catra said, “if we are in college, do you think we’ll live together?”

“I know I want to live with you, but I don’t know if I’ll get into a college,” Adora pointed out, “you have to be really smart for that.”

“You are really smart,” Catra retorted easily, “and anyway, I don’t want to go anywhere that you’re not going.”

Something in Adora’s chest felt warm at the words. It was a familiar warmth, one she always seemed to feel only with Catra.

“You know what I really want?” Adora questioned aloud, and Catra looked at her curiously. “I want what my aunt Mara has. Even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she seems really happy. And that’s because she lives with her best friend. I asked her once if she was going to live with Hope forever, and she said yes. My mom looked at her kind of funny, but I guess she doesn’t really get that you can be happy without a husband.”

Catra shrugged. “My mami is happy without a husband. Her friend always wants her to go out on dates and offers to babysit me so she can, but mami always says no. She says she doesn’t need a man to be fulfilled. Whatever that means.”

“Maybe Cyra should hang out with Mara and Hope,” Adora suggested, “they could all be best friends. And then you and me could join and we could all have one big girls’ house. And the grownups would do all the chores for us.”

“My mami wouldn’t let me get away with doing no chores,” Catra said, “so maybe we shouldn’t invite her.”

“Or maybe we should just live on our own,” Adora said, “because Mara always makes me and Adam do the dishes when we’re over at her place for dinner.”

Catra hummed in thought. “But if we live on our own, then we have to do all the chores.”

“Oh,” Adora realised, and then grinned, “I’ll just get some dirt on Adam and then make him do them, otherwise I’ll tell our parents.”

Catra looked a little disgusted at the thought. Adora figured she knew why – Catra thought that all boys smelled and had cooties, and that even extended to Adora’s brother. Adora was nine, though, and she understood that maybe some boys were okay. At least, she overheard Perfuma and Mermista talking about a couple of the boys in their class, saying they were cute.

Adora didn’t understand how they were cute – really, they were just boys – but at least she knew they were. Catra was still eight, so she didn’t get it.

That was one thing that made Adora feel better about herself. Even though Catra was super smart, and always top of their class when it came to schoolwork, Adora still knew more things than her, because she was older. She was wiser. She understood stuff like how there were cute boys, while Catra still thought they all had cooties.

Adora knew some things. And sometimes, she needed to reassure herself of that.

“It’s okay, Cat,” Adora said, comforting Catra, “I’ll do all the gross chores for you. Only because I like you.”

Catra grinned. “You don’t have to do all the gross chores. I’ll do some of them. Only because I like you.”

2008

“Come on, dummy!”

“I’m not a dummy.”

“Sorry,” Catra said, stopping by the base of the big tree she’d dared Adora to climb. “I know you’re not. I was only teasing.”

Adora shrugged and pretended it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like school was bad anymore. As embarrassed as she was about her extra help , the sessions had helped. But she still sometimes felt insecure when she saw Catra reading all of her big grownup books, and Adora still struggled with basic stuff.

“Hey,” Catra said, leaning against the tree trunk and smiling softly, “you’re the smartest person I know.”

“Doesn’t feel like that sometimes,” Adora muttered, but shook her head quickly to expel those thoughts. “Anyway, let me climb the stupid tree.”

“Wait,” Catra grabbed her hand, “I meant it when I said you were smart.”

Adora knew that it wasn’t Catra’s fault that she was exceptionally bright for her age. And if she wasn’t, then Adora never would’ve met her. Adora would still be that one weird kid without any friends.

“I know,” Adora said, squeezing Catra’s hand back. She finally smiled, and then looked up at the big tree with a grin. “Race you to the top!”

She jumped up and grabbed the first branch before Catra could, hopping up onto the next one and giggling when Catra shouted from the base of the tree, “hey, cheater!”

Adora was still laughing when she reached the last branch that was thick enough to hold her weight. She sat down with a proud grin, and looked down at Catra. Her best friend was still five branches below, scowling up.

When Catra finally joined her on the branch, Adora smiled playfully. “What’s up, slowpoke?”

“You got a headstart,” Catra rolled her eyes, “anyway, wanna see what I brought?”

“Sure,” Adora said, but when Catra pulled a sharp little knife out of her back pocket, she gasped. “Cat, we can’t play with that! We could get hurt.”

“It’s not to play with,” Catra said easily, “it’s so we can carve our names into the tree. Then, in a million years, when the tree grows so high up you can’t even see the top, someone will climb up and realise we got here first.”

“Okay,” Adora said quietly, even though she knew her parents would go nuts if they knew what she and Catra were doing. Even Mara would go nuts, and she never got mad. “You carve it, though. I don’t want to cut myself by accident because my parents would ask what happened. Then they might ground me, and I don’t want to miss any of our summer vacation.”

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Catra said, shuffling to straddle the branch. It was a position that would make anyone else nervous for her, but Adora knew just how well Catra could balance. “I don’t think your parents would be that mad. Well, your dad, anyway. He never really gets mad at you. My mami on the other hand…”

Adora laughed. “You don’t ever get in trouble.”

“Uh, you should’ve heard what she said to me when we cheated on that test,” Catra said as she started carving the letter C, “ I didn’t raise you to be so disrespectful, Catrina, I told you never to say any bad words, Catrina, you’re grounded for a whole month, Catrina… ”

Adora laughed at Catra’s impression. “I think Cyra was only really upset about you being disrespectful and telling Weaver she sucked at teaching.”

“I wasn’t being disrespectful,” Catra paused, chipping away a little tree bark, “I was being honest. It’s not my fault she didn’t want to hear it. She was a shitty teacher.”

“What happened to never say any bad words, Catrina,” Adora teased, “you know, like the one you just said.”

“What my mami doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Catra said easily, and then craned her neck around to smirk at Adora. “I dare you to say it. I triple dare you.”

Adora blushed under Catra’s gaze. There was always something about her best friend that made her feel so rebellious. And even though she’d never dream of saying any bad words around her parents…

“Shit,” Adora whispered, and then giggled to herself, “don’t tell my parents I said that.”

“Don’t worry,” Catra smiled, “I’d never tell anyone your secrets.”

Something in Adora’s chest pulled as Catra looked at her. There was a weird, but amazing energy flowing between them until Catra turned away to keep carving. Adora had never known why Catra made her feel so excited, but she did know that she’d love to stay up in that tree with her forever, if they could.

“I was thinking about asking my mami for guitar lessons,” Catra broke the comfortable silence as she finished carving the last a in her name. She blew on the area to get rid of loose shavings, and then got started working on the + sign. “I want to learn because it looks really cool. Avril Lavigne is awesome, and she plays guitar.”

“Why don’t you ask, then?” Adora asked her. “I’m sure she’d say yes. Your mami loves you.”

“She’s really busy with work,” Catra said, “she’s always had to work hard because it’s just her bringing money into the house for bills and food and stuff. I don’t want to stress her out more.”

“Guitar lessons are… like, twenty dollars, right?” Adora asked, and before Catra could answer, she said, “I’m sure it wouldn’t stress your mom out. Do you have any birthday or Christmas money left?”

“Yeah,” Catra said uncertainly, “I never really spent much of it.”

“Then you can use that,” Adora said, “you could buy your own guitar, or your mami could buy your guitar and you could pay for the lessons.”

“I guess so,” Catra sounded a little more positive about it, “that’s a good idea. See? Told you that you were smart.”

Adora felt herself blushing but quickly left that subject where it was. “If you start playing guitar, that means you can spend your alone time practicing. You know, instead of stealing knives to carve up poor, innocent trees.”

“I didn’t steal it, I borrowed it,” Catra said, “anyway, I think I’ll talk to her about it when I get home. It’d just be a whole lot easier if I had two mamis, so the one I have wouldn’t have to work so hard.”

Adora frowned. “Don’t you mean it’d be easier if you had a dad? Nobody can have two moms.”

“Mami says that men are pigs,” Catra shrugged, “I don’t really want a pig in my house.”

“How can they be pigs?” Adora questioned aloud. “They’re people.”

Catra shrugged in reply, but then she paused in the middle of carving the R in Adora’s name. “Do you ever…” she paused, like she was second guessing what she was going to say, but pushed through anyway. “Do you ever think about boys? You know, in like, a crush way?”

“No,” Adora answered honestly. She didn’t know what to think, or why Catra was asking. Frankly, she was a little nervous that Catra was starting to mature faster than her, which wouldn’t be right. “Do you?”

“No,” Catra said quickly, and Adora felt relief. After considering something for a few moments, Catra asked, “do you think you will like boys one day?”

“I don’t know,” Adora shrugged, “probably. Don’t all girls start to like boys at some point?”

“I guess so,” Catra said quietly. She sounded disappointed, like it wasn’t the answer she wanted. “I just…” she broke eye contact, turning around to finish carving, “I just don’t want you to forget about me, I guess.”

Adora laughed, because even the thought of that was ridiculous. “Don’t be a dummy. You’re my best friend. I could never forget about you, especially not for some smelly boy.”

“Yeah?” Catra asked, finishing the carving and carefully manoeuvring to sit next to Adora on the branch. She looked at her finished work, smiled proudly, and said, “you’re my best friend too. You always will be.”

Adora took Catra’s hand. Catra smiled softly, and finally looked away to stare out at the little town of Etheria in all its midsummer glory. Looking at her, the sunlight hitting Catra just right, Adora quickly realised that Catra was all she’d ever need.

Best friends forever and always.

2009

They were in middle school now.

Catra had started guitar lessons, despite her reservations about asking her mother. She was getting really good, too. At least Adora thought she was.

When Adora went over for their traditional Friday night sleepover, she begged and pleaded with Catra to play something for her. It took a lot of effort, big puppy-dog eyes, and promising Catra half of her Halloween candy, but Catra finally got her guitar out and said she’d play it.

“Do you know any Hannah Montana songs?” Adora asked as she got herself comfy on Catra’s bedroom floor.

Catra snorted. “I only know cool songs.”

“Hannah Montana has cool songs,” Adora insisted, “and you always dance to Best of Both Worlds when we watch the show together.”

“Yeah, but we’re in middle school now,” Catra said quietly, “pretty sure we’re not supposed to be watching Hannah Montana anymore. We’re not little kids.”

“Since when have you cared what people think?” Adora asked, and before Catra responded, she shrugged. “Anyway, play something for me. And then you can teach me something.”

“I don’t know if I know enough to teach you,” Catra said hesitantly, “but I’m trying to learn that Taylor Swift song on my own. You know, Love Story?”

Adora laughed, nudging her best friend lightly. “Oh, so Hannah Montana isn’t cool, but Taylor Swift is?”

“Shut up,” Catra rolled her eyes, blushing, “at least Taylor Swift is a real person.”

“Go on,” Adora said, sitting with her back rested comfortably against the bed. She didn’t really know why they were sat on the floor when Catra had a perfectly good bed, but she wasn’t complaining. “Play the song for me, if she’s so great.”

“I was actually… I was actually waiting until I got a little better at playing and singing at the same time before I played for anyone,” Catra said, but when Adora clasped her hands together pleadingly, she sighed. “But I guess it’s okay if I play for you.”

“Yay,” Adora smiled, and Catra held her gaze for just a moment, something soft and gentle shining in her multicoloured eyes. Then she blinked and looked away with a blush, clearing her throat. Adora figured she was just nervous to play, so she smiled and said, “hey, you’re going to be awesome.”

“Yeah,” Catra said quietly, “I guess so.”

And then she started to play.

She was awesome; or as awesome as a ten-year-old who had only been learning for six months could be. But in Adora’s eyes, everything Catra did was great. There was no way that her best friend could ever suck at anything.

When Catra finished, the final chord came out a little shaky and muted. But Adora didn’t notice, and when Catra finally dropped her hand from the guitar’s neck and looked up at her anxiously, Adora grinned. She nudged Catra’s guitar aside and threw her arms around her best friend.

“You’re amazing, Cat,” Adora said, “seriously, I couldn’t do that.”

“Shut up, you’re a great singer,” Catra said, “I heard you belting out Best of Both Worlds, after all.”

Adora smiled, and Catra smiled back, that gentle look in her eyes again. After a few moments, Catra broke the eye contact and picked up her guitar again. “I’m gonna put this away, and then I need to go to the bathroom. But after that I’ll ask mami if we can watch a movie.”

“Okay,” Adora said, and watched as Catra put her guitar back on its stand carefully, “don’t be too long.”

Catra smiled as she turned towards the door. “I won’t.”

Like she’d taken Adora seriously, Catra came back in a flash. She slipped through her bedroom door and dropped back down on the floor next to Adora.

“Mami says we can watch a movie in thirty minutes,” Catra said breathlessly, “dinner’s almost ready.”

“It’s not super spicy, is it?” Adora asked. The first time she ever went to Catra’s for dinner, her head almost exploded because the food was so spicy. She was five at the time, and even though Cyra had always toned it down for her since, Adora was still scarred.

“Mami made it less spicy for you, like always,” Catra laughed, “because she knows you’re a big baby.”

“If I’m a big baby then you’re an even bigger baby,” Adora retorted, “because I’m older than you.”

Catra rolled her eyes, smirking. “At least I can eat spicy food without dying.”

“Hey!” Adora exclaimed, offended. “I can’t help having sensitive tastebuds.”

“Sensitive baby tastebuds,” Catra said, and when Adora pouted, she grinned. “I’m just teasing. Anyway, I like that you can’t eat spicy stuff. Means there’s more for me.”

Adora laughed quietly and reached out to take Catra’s hand. Touching her was like a natural instinct. To be honest, not holding Catra’s hand when they were sitting together felt weird.

“Hey, guess what I heard the other day,” Adora started, remembering the piece of choice gossip she overheard in the girls’ bathroom, “you know Mermista? She’s already had her first kiss.”

“Oh,” Catra said, frowning confusedly, “is that supposed to be interesting?”

“It is interesting,” Adora rolled her eyes, “I mean, like you said, we’re not little kids anymore. We’re in middle school. This is the time people start doing that stuff. There’s an end of year dance, did you know that? I bet loads of people will have their first kiss there.”

“Oh,” Catra said again. She was quiet for a little while, and she spoke barely above a whisper when she finally asked, “do you think about kissing?”

Not really , Adora thought. But at the same time, she had to admit that she was curious. The few girls in their class who had kissed a boy already talked about it like it was the best thing ever. And in the movies, they always showed that kissing made you feel fireworks.

But there wasn’t anybody that Adora really wanted to kiss. At least not in any of her classes. All of the boys were kind of ugly, even the ones some of the other girls thought were cute.

“I guess I do think about it,” Adora said, “sometimes. If someone asked to kiss me, then I’d say yes.”

Catra blinked. She looked away from Adora, and the only thing she said was another quiet, “oh.”

“Hey, don’t act like I’m weird,” Adora said defensively, “you just don’t get it because you’re younger. Little kids think kissing is gross, but big kids like it.”

Catra pulled her hand back from Adora, and she still wouldn’t look at her. “Do you think I’m a little kid?”

“What? No!” Adora said, quickly realising that what she said could’ve been interpreted like that. “No, I’d never think that. I just meant… you know, maybe that’s why you don’t think about kissing.”

“I never said I don’t think about kissing.”

“Oh,” Adora said, blinking in surprise, “I just thought… because you didn’t say anything…”

“Yeah, well,” Catra shrugged in an attempt to look indifferent, but she didn’t play it off that well. “I do. Sometimes.”

Adora frowned in thought, but she quickly realised what this meant. Her eyes widened excitedly because this was the perfect opportunity. “This is amazing!”

“What?” Catra frowned. “Why?”

“Well, you don’t want to suck at kissing for your first ever time, do you?” Adora asked, and she barely waited for Catra’s response. “We should practice for the real thing. Because I know that kissing you wouldn’t be gross.”

Catra’s eyes widened, and Adora could’ve sworn that her best friend’s freckled cheeks flushed pink. “You want to kiss me?”

“Not like that,” Adora said quickly, but for some reason her heart quickened in her chest. “Not for real. Just to practice for boys, so we’re good at kissing when we’re older and we meet one we like.”

Catra looked uncertain. Her teeth dragged across her bottom lip anxiously, or maybe just in consideration, and Adora noted for the first time just how soft Catra’s lips looked.

“I don’t know,” Catra said finally, “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Come on, it’s perfect,” Adora laughed, “who better to practice with than your best friend, right?”

Catra looked confused, and a lot overwhelmed, so Adora reached out and took her hand again. Catra’s gaze was trained directly on their intertwined fingers as Adora squeezed her hand once, lightly.

“We don’t have to,” Adora assured her, “I get it if you’re not ready to kiss anyone. Even if it is just for practice.”

Catra frowned, and she looked like she was thinking really hard, like she was actually considering doing it. Adora’s stomach fluttered excitedly.

But then there was a knock on Catra’s bedroom door, and Cyra pushed it open lightly. She flashed the two of them a smile. “Dinner’s ready, girls.”

Adora blushed a little, glad that Cyra hadn’t walked in five minutes before. It felt incredibly scandalous, to talk about kissing, and she couldn’t imagine just how embarrassing it would’ve been if Catra’s mami walked in on them.

Adora stood up and held out her hand for Catra. When Catra looked up at her, she was still blushing, but she took Adora’s hand and let her help her up. Usually, they’d hold hands until they had to let go, but this time Catra dropped her hand as soon as she was stood upright.

Adora didn’t think too much of it, and tried to pretend that the still slightly spicy food wasn’t spicy at all as she ate it. Catra was quiet over dinner, and Adora wanted to ask if she was alright, but she wasn’t sure if Catra would answer her. Especially not in front of Cyra.

When Adora finished her plate, she quickly excused herself to the bathroom. On her way back, she overheard Catra saying something, and even though she felt really guilty, she stopped outside the kitchen door. She knew eavesdropping was bad, but she was always curious and had never been good at stifling that side of herself.

“Mami… can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask me anything,” Cyra said lightly, “you know that.”

“I know, but…” Catra paused, and took in a deep breath, “I don’t know if… if—I don’t know how you’ll—it’s just kind of a weird question.”

“I love weird questions,” Cyra said, and when Catra hesitated, she said, softer, “mija, whatever it is, you can ask me.”

“Okay,” Catra said quietly, and then quieter still, so Adora had to strain to hear, she asked, “you know how girls like boys? Could—could a girl… could a girl like another girl?”

Adora frowned. She’d never heard of that before, or seen it anywhere. Obviously, it couldn’t happen. Everyone knew that girls only liked boys. If a girl did like a girl, then that would be wrong.

Cyra was quiet for a few moments. Adora wondered if Cyra was thinking the same thing as she was. But then she spoke, and if anything, Adora was more confused.

“Why do you want to know, honey?” Cyra asked, and then in an even gentler tone, she added, “do you like a girl?”

“No,” Catra said quickly, panicked, “I was just—um, I was just wondering. Because I’ve never—never seen that before, and I was just wondering—um, if it was possible. If—if it’s okay. Like… like if a girl did like a girl, would that mean there was something wrong with her?”

Well, if Catra was curious about it, then it was okay for Adora to be curious too. She waited patiently behind the door for Cyra’s answer.

“Of course it’s okay, sweetheart,” Cyra said, and Catra stayed quiet, “but unfortunately, there are some people that don’t see it that way. But those people, the people that do think it’s wrong… well, they’re just ignorant. And you shouldn’t listen to ignorant people, okay? It’s perfectly normal if you—if a girl has feelings for another girl.”

Adora frowned. How could it be normal if nobody else did it? She didn’t understand that. She wanted to go out and ask, but then Cyra would know that she’d been eavesdropping and might think she was rude.

“Are you sure?” Catra asked finally. “Are you sure that there’s nothing wrong with it?”

“I’m sure,” Cyra said finally, “it’s okay for girls to like other girls. And it would be okay for a boy to like another boy. It’s love, after all. And what could be wrong about that?”

“Okay,” Catra answered quietly, and then added, “I wasn’t asking because I—it was just… I was just curious, that’s all.”

“Okay, mija,” Cyra said, and after a few moments of silence, she added, “so, have you and Adora decided which movie you’re going to watch after dinner?”

It felt like a safe moment to enter, even though the previous conversation was still spinning around in Adora’s mind. She pushed the kitchen door open and took her seat at the table again.

“I like your soap,” Adora said, deciding on something completely unrelated to the previous topic, “it smells nice.”

“Thank you, Adora,” Cyra smiled, and when Adora offered out a hand for Catra to take, Cyra smiled at her daughter in a funny way. Like she knew something they didn’t. “Okay, you two get yourselves comfy on the couch. I’ll make some popcorn for you, since you both cleared your plates.”

“Thank you for dinner, it was really nice,” Adora said, even though it was still a little too spicy for her, “come on, Cat.”

She tugged her best friend over to the couch, and Catra followed wordlessly. Between the two of them, Catra had always been the quiet one, but she was really quiet then.

“Which movie should we watch?” Adora asked, flopping down on the couch and grabbing the blanket they always shared. “You pick, it’s your house.”

“It’s okay,” Catra said as she sat down next to her. Hesitantly, she took the offered blanket and settled down next to Adora. “You can choose.”

Adora frowned. “Are you sure? Because, like, I always pick the movie.”

“I’m sure,” Catra said, and after a few moments, she squeezed Adora’s hand and smiled. Suddenly, whatever had been looming over her best friend had disappeared. “I’m happy with whatever you want.”

Adora grinned and let go of Catra’s hand to jump up and look through the DVDs. Catra didn’t have as many DVDs as Adora did, considering half of the ones at her house were Adam’s, but Adora didn’t mind. She was deciding between two movies when Cyra came over with a big bowl of popcorn.

She placed the bowl on the coffee table in front of the couch, and as she was heading back to the kitchen, she leaned down and kissed the top of Catra’s head. She squeezed Catra’s shoulder gently and smiled. “I love you, okay? No matter what.”

“Mami, don’t embarrass me,” Catra groaned, blushing, but murmured, “I love you too,” in return.

“Okay, okay,” Cyra smiled fondly, “shout if you need anything else.”

“We will, Adora said, and then remembered her manners, “thank you for the popcorn.”

Adora finally decided on a movie and held it up to Catra. Catra raised her eyebrows. “Mean Girls? We watched that last week.”

“It’s really good, though,” Adora said, “at least, everyone at school thinks it is.”

“Why do you care what everyone at school is doing?” Catra asked. “They’re annoying.”

“I don’t know,” Adora murmured, and as she sat back down on the couch and grabbed the popcorn bowl, she asked, “aren’t you tired of everyone thinking we’re weird? Sometimes I just… I just want to fit in, you know? Don’t you?”

“Not really,” Catra said, “I fit in with you. That’s all I care about.”

That funny feeling happened in her stomach, and Adora didn’t understand it. She smiled quietly and reached around the popcorn bowl to hug Catra.

“You’re my best friend,” Adora told her, “no matter what. You’ll always be my best friend.”

Catra hugged her a little tighter. “I know,” she said into Adora’s shoulder, and when she pulled back, she was smiling softly again. “You’ll always be mine too.”

Adora held her gaze for a moment, but her own smile turned into a smirk when she picked a piece of popcorn from the bowl and threw it at Catra playfully. Catra rolled her eyes and took the bowl from Adora’s reach.

“Watch the movie, dork.”

Adora didn’t know why, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d overheard at Catra’s house the other week.

Whenever she thought about it, she felt a nervous tug at the pit of her stomach. It was almost like she was scared of something, of the mere idea of a girl being able to like another girl. She hadn’t understood what Cyra meant. After all, how could girls liking other girls be normal, when it wasn’t ever something that happened?

In every TV show, in every book, in every movie, and in real life, girls liked boys. That was just how it was.

Adora should’ve been able to think what Cyra said was silly and move on from it. But she couldn’t, so she thought that the only way to stop thinking about it was to find out for herself.

It was a Sunday night when she finally plucked up the courage to ask her mom about it. Marlena was brushing Adora’s hair through after her bath, and instead of overthinking it, Adora blurted the question out innocently.

“Hey, mom? Can girls like other girls? You know, in a crush way?”

The brush paused as it was running through Adora’s hair, and Adora looked up to make eye contact with Marlena in the mirror. Her mother looked horrified.

“Who told you that?” Marlena asked, and the way she said it conveyed a red flag to Adora, who was usually oblivious to signals like that. “Did you overhear something when you were at your Aunt Mara’s?”

“What?” Adora frowned, because what the hell did Mara have to do with anything? “No. I was just wondering, that’s all.”

Marlena seemed to calm down at that, but she still looked concerned. She resumed brushing through Adora’s hair and shook her head. “There are some people out there who are… like that. But it’s not normal, and if they tried hard enough, they could live normal lives. Despite that, some people still insist on making such a choice.”

If anything, Adora was even more confused. “So… girls can choose to like other girls?”

“They can, but they shouldn’t, because it’s not right,” Marlena said, and when Adora frowned even more, she smiled and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. “Don’t worry about that stuff, Adora. You’re only a kid, and it’s not really a subject children should be hearing about. Anyway, you’re not like that.”

“Oh,” Adora said, and shrugged. If it was grown-up stuff, then it didn’t really matter to her. She was still confused about it, and about what Cyra had told Catra, but decided to put the whole thing from her mind. “Okay then.”

Marlena finished brushing Adora’s hair out and flashed a smile. It looked a little off, but Adora couldn’t place why. “Why don’t you try playing with your brother and his friends at school tomorrow?”

It was so off-topic that it took Adora off guard. And then she snorted. “Mom, I’m in middle school . We don’t call it playing anymore.”

“Well, whatever you call it,” Marlena laughed, “why don’t you go and join in with them? Maybe try sitting with them at lunch.”

Adora shrugged. Ever since she was a little kid, she always felt quite anxious when it came to interacting with her peers, besides Catra. It was probably a result of all that rejection when she was really young and didn’t understand boundaries.

“I mean, I guess I could,” Adora said, “but I don’t think Catra would want to, and I’d rather sit with her.”

“I just think it would be good for you to make some other friends,” Marlena said, and when Adora opened her mouth to protest, she added quickly, “I’m not saying that you should ditch Catra. I’m just saying that you should branch out a little. Make a few more friends.”

Adora so badly wanted to fit in with her peers, but she was incredibly anxious at the idea of even trying. And anyway, she was happy with Catra, and a lot of her brother’s friends, the popular crowd, had called her weird all the time when they were younger.

“Maybe,” Adora said to appease her mom, knowing that she’d sit with Catra in the library as usual, “anyway, can I go watch TV now?”

“Sure,” Marlena said, and as Adora got up to go, she called her back, “Adora?”

Adora turned around but glanced towards the lounge impatiently. Adam wasn’t in there hogging the remote, which meant that Adora could hog the remote until bedtime. “Yeah?”

“About that… girls liking other girls thing,” Marlena said, “if you know anyone like that… it probably isn’t a good idea to be seen with them. People might think you’re like that too, and we wouldn’t want that.”

“Oh,” Adora said, and shook her head, “well, I don’t know anyone like that. I was just curious.”

Marlena still looked concerned, and a little suspicious, but eventually she smiled. “Okay. You can go watch some TV now.”

Adora rushed into the lounge, but as she sat down on the couch, she realised she was still thinking about what Cyra had said to Catra. She tried to push it from her mind and settled down.

Obviously, girls couldn’t like other girls.

2010

“Ugh, I look so stupid.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“Uh, it’s hard not to be an idiot when I look like one!”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I meant you were being an idiot when you were telling me you looked stupid.”

“I do, though,” Adora said, lisping a little thanks to the brand-new braces on her teeth. She grimaced at her own reflection and added, “I sound weird, too.”

“Well, you’ve always sounded weird,” Catra said lightly, but when Adora turned and looked at her seriously, Catra smiled and rolled her eyes. “Come on, Adora. You look fine. Besides, loads of people at our school have braces, and you’re always talking about how you want to fit in.”

“Not like this!” Adora said and reached out to shove Catra playfully. “Anyway, that’s easy for you to say. Your teeth are already perfect.”

“That’s not true,” Catra replied, opening her mouth and pointing to one of her canines, “this one is a little crooked.”

Adora stared at her, and Catra closed her mouth, smiling sheepishly. “Wow, one tooth that’s a little crooked. At least you don’t need braces.”

“Come on, it’s not so bad,” Catra said, “it’s not like you have to wear them forever.”

“Yeah, but still,” Adora turned back to the mirror and pouted at her own reflection, “I’m not going to be able to have my first kiss until they’re gone. Nobody is going to want to kiss me when their tongue might get sliced to pieces.”

Catra cringed. “Gross.”

“See!” Adora said loudly. “Exactly!”

“I didn’t mean that,” Catra said easily, “I was imagining a tongue getting cut up, and that’s gross.”

“Yeah, well,” Adora murmured, finally tearing her gaze away from herself, “if someone is crazy enough to try and kiss me, that’s gonna happen to them.”

“It’s not going to happen,” Catra replied confidently, “you won’t cut someone’s tongue open.”

“Oh yeah?” Adora rolled her eyes disbelievingly. “How do you know?”

“I’m smart,” Catra said simply, and then she fell quiet. Adora wondered what she was thinking – maybe she was realising that it was possible – but then Catra spoke again before Adora could triumphantly prove her point.

“I mean, if you don’t believe me,” Catra murmured, barely above a whisper, “I could prove it.”

Adora looked at her, confused. “How can you prove it?”

Catra looked away from her anxiously. She moved over to sit on the edge of Adora’s bed, and after another few moments of consideration, she shrugged. It was overly-casual, and Adora could easily tell she was nervous. “Remember last year? When you asked me if I wanted to… to practice kissing?”

Adora remembered all too well. The older she got, the more she worried that someone would try to kiss her for real, and she’d have no idea what to do. Then people at school would think she was even more of a weirdo than they already thought.

But at the time, she’d felt like Catra wasn’t comfortable with the idea. Like she wasn’t ready to even practice kissing with someone. Adora never wanted to make Catra uncomfortable, so she hadn’t brought it up since the first time.

“Yeah,” Adora said finally, sitting gingerly besides Catra on her bed. “I remember.”

“We… we could do that,” Catra said quietly, “if you want.”

Adora’s eyes widened. Catra finally met her gaze, saw the obvious shock written on Adora’s face, and opened her mouth like she was going to backtrack.

Adora spoke before she could. “You’d risk getting your tongue cut up for me?”

“I mean… sure,” Catra said, and then she looked at Adora meaningfully and told her, “I’d do anything for you.”

Adora didn’t fully understand. Not then, anyway. Instead, she grinned, forgetting about the annoying braces on her teeth for a little while. She threw her arms around Catra in a tight hug.

“You’re the best friend ever, you know,” Adora said, and Catra hummed into her shoulder in reply, “okay, so… how do we do this? Do you want to get some paper so we can take notes?”

Adora jumped up before Catra could say anything. She rifled through one of her drawers for her school notebook and picked it out, then grabbed a pen and clicked it on. She rushed back to Catra and placed the notebook and pen carefully aside, looking back at her best friend expectantly.

Catra looked nervous. Really nervous, more nervous than Adora had ever seen her. Usually, Catra was pretty confident. Unlike Adora, she’d never cared that people at school thought the two of them were weird. She’d always just done what she wanted anyway, and Adora admired that.

“We don’t have to,” Adora said as she shuffled closer, “it’s okay if you’re not ready.”

“It’s not that,” Catra answered quickly, “it’s just… promise me that things won’t be weird after?”

“Things could never be weird between you and me,” Adora shrugged easily. She flashed another grin and then tried to think about what she’d seen in movies. Usually, the girl touched the boy’s shoulders or jaw, and the boy held the girl’s waist.

“You can be the boy first,” Adora decided, “and then we’ll swap.”

“Uh…” Catra frowned, “what does that mean?”

“Put your hands on my waist,” Adora instructed, and Catra looked confused, but she did it. “Okay, now I touch your jaw, like this.”

Slowly, Adora reached a hand out and gently cupped Catra’s jaw. She felt Catra swallow nervously against her hand and tried to smile reassuringly.

“Now what?” Catra asked, and Adora just looked at her for a moment, feeling something really weird in her stomach. But it was a nice weird, and it distracted her for long enough that she started absentmindedly tracing her thumb against Catra’s soft cheek.

“Adora?” Catra said, snapping her out of it. “Do we… do we do it now?”

“Uh… yeah,” Adora nodded, but found that she was too nervous to lean in first. “The boy usually leans in first, and… and you’re being the boy right now, so…”

“Oh, right,” Catra said, “okay.”

She hesitated for a moment, like she was rethinking the whole situation. But before Adora could reassure her again, Catra started to lean in. Her beautiful eyes were still open – Adora’s were too – and Adora quickly realised that was wrong. “Wait, we need to close our eyes.”

Catra frowned. “But what if I miss your mouth?”

“Well, it’s just practice,” Adora said, “it doesn’t matter if we mess up. That’s the whole point of practicing.”

“Right,” Catra said quietly, “okay.”

Adora’s eyes were still open when Catra took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and pulled Adora in for a kiss. At first, Adora was surprised that she’d really done it, and then she was even more surprised at how good it felt. It was kissing, so it was supposed to feel good, but Adora figured that you were only supposed to feel fireworks when you kissed your one true love. But Adora felt them then, with Catra.

She relaxed into the kiss, her own eyes falling closed as she gently cupped Catra’s jaw. Catra pulled back just slightly, but then her lips were on Adora’s again like they never left. Slowly, they parted for Adora’s tongue. Somewhere in the back of Adora’s mind, she remembered that Catra was supposed to be the one taking the lead, but that tiny thought was completely ignored as Adora’s tongue lightly grazed Catra’s.

Catra pulled back slowly, and Adora did too. Gradually, her eyes opened, and she took in her best friend’s image. Freckled cheeks were flushed pink, and Catra’s lips were plump and swollen. Her multicoloured eyes were shining, her pupils dilated, and she looked slightly breathless.

She wasn’t saying anything, and Adora felt kind of embarrassed and nervous and didn’t know why. So naturally, she filled the silence with awkward rambling.

“Is your tongue okay?” Adora asked. “It didn’t get all cut up and gross, did it? And—um, you were really good at kissing. Have you done it before? It seemed like you had.”

“I haven’t,” Catra said quietly, and then she answered Adora’s first question, “and my tongue is fine. It was… it was really nice. Kissing you, I mean. Was it… was I really okay?”

“Yeah,” Adora smiled reassuringly, “you’ll have no problem when you meet a boy you like.”

Catra seemed to deflate, and she grimaced. Adora wondered what it was that she’d said. “Yeah, I guess not.”

“I’m glad I was good too,” Adora said, and she jumped up to take one last look at her braces in the mirror, “and that this isn’t going to be a problem. I was hoping maybe someone might ask me to the end of year dance this year.”

Catra was oddly quiet, and when Adora turned around, she was looking at her funny. Her cheeks were still flushed, and she was still anxious when she asked, “do you want to go with me?”

Adora laughed. “I don’t mean like that,” she explained, “I meant, like, someone might ask me as a date. We’re already going together, but if we get dates then we’ll go with them.”

Catra looked away from her, and she looked hurt. Adora didn’t get what was wrong, but Catra didn’t tell her what was on her mind. Instead, she just shrugged and said quietly, “okay then.”

“So…” Adora said slowly, sitting down on the bed next to Catra again, “is there anyone in our grade that you want to go to the dance with?”

Catra looked uncomfortable, but after a few moments, she nodded slowly. Adora’s eyes widened, and she grinned, excited for the gossip. Because this was what best friends were supposed to do; talk about the boys they liked. But Catra didn’t reveal anything.

“Come on,” Adora nudged her lightly, “who do you like?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Catra said quietly, “they don’t like me back.”

Adora frowned at the lack of information, but she didn’t want to push Catra when she wasn’t comfortable. She smiled and took Catra’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Then he’s an idiot.”

Catra laughed, and Adora wondered what was so funny. Her best friend met her gaze, and even though she still looked a little upset, there was a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Yeah,” Catra laughed, “they’re a total idiot.”

2011

“Hi, Adora.”

Adora turned around from her locker in surprise. She hadn’t really recognised the voice of the person who spoke to her, but she recognised him when she turned around.

“Oh,” she said, “hey, Kyle.”

She’d known Kyle since kindergarten, kind of. She didn’t really know him, but he always seemed nice enough. He was a little nerdy – well, a lot nerdy – and definitely not one of the popular crowd like her brother or his friends. But Adora was just surprised that someone other than Catra was talking to her.

“Hey, so, you know that the, uh…” he paused, anxious, and looked around at his two friends. The really tall guy, Rogelio, and a shorter girl that Adora thought was named Lonnie. Lonnie rolled her eyes at Kyle, and Rogelio gave him two thumbs up.

It was the encouragement he clearly needed, because he cleared his throat and turned around with more confidence this time.

“So, uh,” he started, “I was wondering if you wanted to go to the end of year dance with me. You know, if you don’t already have plans and stuff. It’s totally cool if you do, I just thought I’d ask.”

Adora blinked in surprise, but she was excited at the mere prospect of being asked out. Getting asked out by Kyle was less exciting, because she’d never seen him in that way, but it was still the first time she was asked out by a boy. And it was to the school dance.

“Yeah,” Adora said, “yeah, that would be cool. I—uh, I don’t have a cell phone yet so I can’t give you my number to organise it, but I can give you my landline. You just might have to talk to my mom first, because she always answers the phone.”

“Yeah, okay,” Kyle said, and he looked surprised that she’d said yes. Adora opened her notebook and scribbled down her home phone number, tearing the page out and giving it to him. “Cool,” Kyle smiled down at the number and tucked it into his back pocket. “I’m glad you said yes.”

She smiled back and watched as he rushed over to his friends, still unable to believe that a real boy had asked her out. That kind of stuff only happened to the popular girls. Sure, it wasn’t like she had a crush on Kyle, but maybe she could, if they had a good time at the dance. Feelings could develop over time.

“Hey, Adora,” someone else said, and this time it was a voice she’d recognise anywhere. She turned around to see Catra coming around the corner, a few textbooks rested in her arms. “Ready to study?”

Catra had always helped her study for certain subjects, all through school, ever since Adora found out she was dyslexic. Adora didn’t really need help with stuff like science and math, but they always studied together for that anyway because it was just easier to do everything at once. But with stuff like English and History class, things that required a lot of reading, she appreciated Catra’s help. Even though Adora still had extra sessions with her special tutor, it helped to have someone her own age, someone she knew would never think she’s stupid, to study with.

“Yeah,” Adora grabbed her notebook and textbooks from her locker and followed Catra down the hallway to the school library. There was an excitement in her chest as she remembered what just happened, and she was even more excited when she realised she could gossip with her best friend about it. “Hey, I have something to tell you.”

Catra hummed interestedly. She held open the library door for Adora, and Adora passed her by, choosing a table near the back so they could talk without risk of being overheard. She sat down and dumped her textbooks disinterestedly, and waited for Catra to get comfortable.

“So what’s up?” Catra asked, flipping open her history book to the chapter they were working on last. “What happened in the last hour that’s so exciting?”

Adora smiled a little at the joke, even though it was basically true. The only reason she hadn’t been with Catra when Kyle asked her was because Catra had a different last period class. “You’ll never guess.”

“Try me,” Catra said, and hummed in thought again. “How about… your parents called and said you could have a puppy?”

“Nope, but I wish that happened,” Adora said, and then she couldn’t contain herself any longer, “a boy asked me to the dance. You know Kyle from our math class? He asked me to go with him. As a date.”

Catra blinked, and Adora was confused when Catra wasn’t automatically as excited as she was. In fact, Catra actually looked a little annoyed. She didn’t sound that enthusiastic when she replied with a simple, “okay,” and then looked down at her history textbook, “so we were looking at the Cold War—”

“Wait,” Adora interrupted her, “why aren’t you excited for me? You’re supposed to be my best friend.”

“I’m happy for you,” Catra said, but she didn’t sound happy at all, “anyway, we need to get back to this, my mami is picking me up in an hour.”

“Catra, this is a big deal,” Adora said, “this is my first date. I’d be so excited for you if you got asked out by the boy you like.”

“Since when do you like Kyle?” Catra snapped, and it was so irritable that Adora was taken aback. Catra took a breath and shook her head. “Whatever. I guess I’m just annoyed because you said we were going together.”

“I said we were going together until we got asked out for a date,” Adora replied, frowning, “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

Catra muttered something under her breath, and it sounded a whole lot like, “I thought you said you’d never ditch me for some smelly boy.” Adora barely had time to process that, because Catra was slamming her textbook closed and standing up.

“I’m going home,” she said firmly, “I only said I’d stay after school to help you study. Not to talk about stupid stuff.”

“It’s not stupid,” Adora said, offended, “it matters to me. And you’re my best friend, so it should matter to you too.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t,” Catra’s voice was raised, and she sounded really annoyed. The librarian shushed her, but it didn’t stop Catra. “It doesn’t matter to me, and I don’t care about your stupid date.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t be my best friend then!”

The words tumbled out of Adora’s mouth before she could stop them. Catra stopped in her tracks and turned back to look at her, and the only thing on her face was pure heartbreak. Her eyes were shining with something that looked a lot like tears, but when Adora tried to backtrack and apologise, she rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest stubbornly.

“Save it,” Catra snapped, interrupting Adora mid-apology, “after all, I’m not your best friend anymore. Have fun with Kyle.”

She turned and stomped away, and Adora stood, stunned, not quite understanding what just happened. She felt sick to her stomach when she realised she’d never fought with Catra before and she rushed out of the library to try and find her and fix things.

Catra was nowhere to be seen, and Adora’s heart ached in a sick, horrible way.

Catra was ignoring her, and it sucked.

Adora missed her best friend. She missed Catra’s laugh. She missed Catra’s smile. She missed the way Catra rolled her eyes when Adora said something lame and she was trying not to laugh. She missed the way she could tell Catra anything and never be afraid. She missed their walks home and their Friday night sleepovers and the way she could read Catra’s mind from a single look.

It sucked so much that Adora didn’t know how to handle it.

She’d kind of latched onto spending time with Kyle and his group of friends, but it wasn’t the same. With Catra, she was comfortable. With Catra, Adora felt like she could be the weirdest person on the planet, and she’d still be accepted. With Catra, Adora felt like she was at home.

With Kyle, Lonnie and Rogelio, however, it was like she had to pretend to be something else. Like she was not entirely herself, dulling her usual personality to fit in with them. They were nice enough, but even Adora’s attempts at stifling herself didn’t help her fit properly.

She remembered something that Catra had told her what felt like forever ago, when Adora had mentioned her desire to fit in. “I fit with you," Catra had said, “that’s all I care about.”

Sure, maybe Adora had always wanted to feel normal, like she fit in with the crowd. Maybe she still wanted that. But she didn’t want it without Catra.

They still sat together in their shared classes, but it was awkward. Catra always acted like Adora wasn’t there. Adora had tried poking her, whispering to her, passing notes, but all it had done was get her in trouble, and get no response from Catra.

Adora had never felt so bad before. She was supposed to be happy. She had a date to the school dance. She was happy, until her supposed best friend had ruined it. She was still so mad at Catra for that, and Adora knew she wasn’t the one who was supposed to apologise, but she was trying to do it anyway.

Clearly, Catra didn’t care. So Adora wasn’t sure if she was upset that they weren’t talking, or if she was just angry.

All she really knew was that she missed her best friend so much it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

Adora looked away from the TV and scooped up a spoonful of melted ice cream. She’d completely forgotten about eating it. She hadn’t been that hungry anyway.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Adora lied and avoided Mara’s gaze, “it’s just… stuff. School stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”

“Does this have something to do with Catra?” Mara asked, and Adora looked up in surprise, wondering how she could possibly know that. “You haven’t talked about her all night. Usually you’re always telling me what the two of you have gotten up to.”

Adora frowned and considered telling her. Mara was smart, and always gave good advice. Maybe it would be good to get everything out.

“Well,” Adora finally started, “she’s not talking to me.”

“Did you guys have a fight?” Hope asked as she came in and sat down on the opposite couch. “Don’t worry, kid. Friends fight all the time.”

“Not me and Catra,” Adora said seriously, “we’ve never had a fight.”

“Well,” Mara took the melted bowl of ice cream from Adora’s hands and placed it on the coffee table, “what was the fight about?”

Adora blushed slightly. She hadn’t told anybody in her family about having a date to the dance. She was nervous about telling Mara, in case Mara told her mom, and her mom told her dad, who would say she was too young. They could be overprotective sometimes.

“Promise not to tell my mom?” Adora asked, and Mara raised her eyebrows as if to say really, kid? Adora sighed and mumbled, “fine, if you have to tell her, then you can. A boy asked me to the dance.”

Hope coughed, and Adora looked over. It seemed like she’d choked on a sip of her tea. Mara rolled her eyes and sent a weird look Hope’s way, and then smiled comfortingly at Adora.

“Okay,” Mara said, “and what does that have to do with your fight with Catra?”

“Well, I told her about it, and she wasn’t very happy for me,” Adora said, “she just said okay. And when I asked her why she wasn’t happy for me, she said she was mad that I was ditching her for the dance and that she didn’t care about my date. And then… and then I said maybe she shouldn’t be my best friend.”

Adora took in the look on Mara’s face and quickly added, “but I said sorry right after! And I’ve been trying to apologise since, even though she’s the one who started it.”

Mara and Hope exchanged a look, and Adora couldn’t figure out what it meant. After a few moments, Mara asked carefully, “why do you think Catra was upset about you having a date?”

“I told you, it’s because she thinks I’m ditching her. Even though I explained that we were only going together if we didn’t get asked out,” Adora said, “and I got a date,” she added, realising something, “and Catra didn’t. But she told me she likes someone. That’s got to be it! She’s just jealous that someone asked me, but nobody asked her.”

Hope frowned. “I’m not entirely sure that’s it…”

Mara sent her an oddly stern look that Adora didn’t understand. Before she could ask what Hope meant, Mara said, “maybe you should give her some space. You said you’d been trying to talk to her and apologise, right? Just give her some time to relax and then you can talk to her calmly, when you’re both ready.”

Adora had never exactly been a patient person. But if it was the only way to get her best friend back… then she’d have to try.

She knew it didn’t exactly count as being patient, but Adora waited through three weekdays of pure agony before finally caving on Saturday morning and riding her bike over to Catra’s house. Maybe if she spoke to Catra at home, with Cyra there to mediate things, it would work out. Catra’s mami was smart, after all, and she’d understand that Adora was sorry for what she said.

She arrived at Catra’s house, and out of pure instinct or muscle memory, she walked straight through the unlocked front door. Cyra’s car was parked in the driveway, and Adora could hear voices coming from the lounge, so she knew at least someone was home. Quietly, Adora approached the lounge door but stopped dead when she heard Cyra talking seriously.

“…but sometimes, when you love something, you have to set it free,” Cyra was saying, “and I know it’s hard, and you’re really too young to understand right now. I wish so badly that things could be different for you. I want all of those good things for you, and one day, I promise, it will happen. It just… it might take a little while longer than it does for everyone else.”

“It’s okay, mami,” Catra said, and her voice was muffled, like she was hugging her mother tightly, “I think… I think I’ll be okay. I just need to—I just need to get over her.”

Adora peered around the crack in the living room doorway and saw Cyra squeeze Catra tightly and kiss her on the top of her head. She considered making an entrance then, but Cyra spoke before she could.

“Thank you for trusting me with something that I know was probably so scary for you,” Cyra said, “and I love you just the same, okay?”

“I know,” Catra said quietly, “I love you too, mami,” she hesitated, and then added, “you promise you’re okay with it?”

“Oh, Catrina, mija,” Cyra pulled her in for another tight hug, “I promise.”

Adora didn’t understand what they were talking about. She hesitated until there were a few moments of silence, and then decided to make her presence known. She took a few steps back to sound like she hadn’t been listening in, and then walked straight up to the lounge door, knocking and pushing it open.

Cyra noticed her first, and then Catra met her gaze. Catra’s eyes were a little watery, like she’d been crying a little while ago. Because of how upset she looked, Adora expected Catra to tell her to go away. Maybe Cyra would too; Catra had likely told her what happened.

Always bad with silences, Adora opened her mouth to talk, unsure of what would come out. “Uh, hi. Sorry for just walking in. The door was unlocked and I just—um, habit, I guess. I was just… I was wondering if we could talk.”

Catra slowly pulled away from her mother and nodded. “We can go to my room,” she said quietly, and Adora nodded in reply, following her. It was so weird, not rushing forwards and taking her hand, the two of them laughing together. Everything was so strained and awkward.

She followed Catra into her bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. Catra sat down too, but left an uncomfortable amount of distance between them. Adora went to talk, because she’d never been good with awkward silences, but Catra beat her to it.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, and Adora blinked in surprise, “I was being an asshole. You were right, I should’ve been happy for you.”

“Hey, no,” Adora shook her head, even though an apology had been what she wanted. “Don’t apologise. I shouldn’t have said… you know, what I said, and I'm really sorry about it, Cat.”

“I know, but you wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t being an asshole,” Catra said, “so, I’m really sorry, Adora. Can we be best friends again? I miss you.”

Adora let out a quiet laugh involuntarily, and it was half a sigh of relief. She threw her arms around Catra in a hug and buried her face into her shoulder. “I thought you hated me.”

“Adora,” Catra murmured, and she pulled back slowly to look her right in the eyes, “I could never, ever hate you.”

Something in Adora’s chest settled, and she felt happy for the first time in two weeks. She made the decision easily and didn’t feel like she was losing anything.

“You and me are going to the dance together,” Adora said, “and we’re gonna have the best time.”

Catra looked at her for a moment, and slowly tore her gaze away. She looked thoughtful, and after a few seconds, she smiled down at her lap and looked back up.

“You should go with Kyle,” Catra said finally, “I know you’ve wanted to have a real date for forever. I’d be the worst friend in the world if I took that away from you.”

“Are you sure?” Adora asked, because she was excited to have a date. She didn’t care so much about the Kyle aspect, and thinking of that, she laughed quietly. “You know, it really sucks that you’re a girl and I can’t just go on a date with you. At least I know we’d have fun.”

Catra’s eyes widened, and she looked extremely uncomfortable at the comment. Eventually she just laughed nervously and said, “I guess so. So, uh, do you want to stay for dinner? We were gonna get takeout.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, grinning, “I’d love that.”

A few weeks later, she went to the dance with Kyle. It was okay, and her mom was super excited for her especially, but she didn’t really feel like she was doing anything other than hanging out with a friend. He didn’t try to kiss her, and they didn’t really dance together, and Adora found herself wishing that she’d just gone to the dance with Catra after all.

At the end of the dance, Kyle asked her out for another time, but Adora said no. When she told Catra, her best friend looked incredibly relieved.

“He was stupid, anyway,” Catra said easily, and Adora laughed, “you deserve the most amazing person on earth.”

“I already have her,” Adora shrugged, “she’s my best friend, and no smelly boy could ever live up to her.”

Adora didn’t understand the blush on Catra’s cheeks, the embarrassed smile on her face, and that soft look shining in her multicoloured eyes. She just knew that Catra was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

2012

“I can’t believe we’re in high school now,” was the first thing Adora said when she opened the front door to Catra. They were walking to school together, like always, but this time it was different. “We’re so old now.”

“You’re old,” Catra smirked and pulled her backpack further up her shoulder, “I think I can see a wrinkle on your gigantic forehead.”

Adora rolled her eyes and shoved Catra lightly for that one. “Shut up. It’s your birthday in October and then we’ll be the same age. Then you’ll be old too.”

“Maybe,” Catra said, “but you’ll always be older than me.”

“Well, I can’t help that I was born first,” Adora said, grabbing her backpack and closing the front door behind her. She caught a glimpse of Adam rushing down the stairs with his bag – one of his friends’ parents was picking him up soon. “Are you excited?”

“Not really,” Catra shrugged, “it’s just any other school day.”

“Come on, it’s totally different,” Adora insisted, “we’ll meet a ton of new people. We might make new friends.”

Catra’s nose crinkled in disgust. “I don’t want new friends. I like it when it’s just us.”

“I do too,” Adora said, because she didn’t want Catra to think that she didn’t like being with her, “you’re my best friend. But it’s okay to have other friends too, you know? Especially if we don’t share a lot of classes. I don’t want to be on my own all day.”

Catra looked unsure, so Adora reached out and took her hand, squeezing it. Catra looked down at their hands, and after a few moments, she smiled. “Okay. Just as long as we stick together.”

“Always,” Adora answered easily, “so, are you thinking of joining any extracurriculars? My mom thinks it’s a good idea for me to join some clubs. You know, for college applications. My brother’s trying out for the football team. I was thinking about going for soccer.”

Catra raised her eyebrows. She seemed surprised by that. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Adora nodded, “when we had that unit on it in gym class last year, our teacher said I had a lot of potential. I’ve never been singled out like that for good work before, so when my parents mentioned I should be thinking about extracurriculars, I thought… maybe that would be good. I could end up getting a scholarship for it.”

“As long as you enjoy it, then you should try out,” Catra said, “tell me when tryouts are. I want to come support you.”

Adora smiled softly. “You’d do that for me?”

“Duh,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I told you, I’d do anything for you.”

Adora raised her eyebrows and decided to test the limits of that. “Even… even kill someone?”

She figured that she’d caught Catra out with that, but instead Catra just shrugged, like Adora had asked her to go buy her some candy.

“If they deserved it,” Catra said finally, “and if they made you upset, then they probably did.”

Adora laughed and threw her arm around her best friend, pulling her in for a headlock. It was a lot easier to do now; while they used to be roughly the same height, Adora had had a growth spurt over summer, and she’d been using it to her advantage. She ruffled Catra’s hair and teased, “are you sure? I think it’s just because you’re a big softie.”

“Hey!” Catra wriggled out of the headlock and brushed her hands through her hair, fixing it so it was the right kind of messy. “I am not a softie. At least—you know, I mean… for you, yeah, but nobody else.”

Adora grinned, reaching out and taking Catra’s hand this time. She tangled their fingers together and squeezed her best friend’s hand. “I know. I love you, Cat.”

“I love you too, loser,” Catra rolled her eyes, “tell anyone I said that, and we’ll have a problem.”

Adora laughed. “Your secret is safe with me.”

They’d been sent their school schedules, and they’d arrived two days ago. Adora hadn’t seen Catra in person since before the schedule arrived, so she pulled hers out of her backpack and said, “hey, let’s compare.”

Catra rolled her eyes fondly, but she took her schedule out of her backpack and passed it to Adora as they walked. Adora looked through the classes and she was relieved to see that they shared a good amount. But the first class on Adora’s schedule, English I, wasn’t a class that Catra was taking.

Suddenly, Adora felt nervous. She didn’t know how she’d handle it, walking in there without Catra holding her hand.

“Do we share classes?”

Adora looked up from the schedule and delivered the bad news. “Yeah, but not the first one. I’m in English I and you’re in English III.”

Catra leaned over and looked at the schedules. “We’re in all the others together, though. Except, I have music class at the end of the day, and you’ve got art.”

“I know, it’s just…” Adora sighed, gripping Catra’s hand a little tighter, “the first class is the scariest. I guess I just wish you’d be there to hold my hand.”

“If you need me, you can always text me under the table,” Catra shrugged easily, like that wouldn’t get Adora into a ton of trouble, “then I’ll make up some excuse to get you out of class and we’ll run away together.”

Adora smiled slightly. “Where would we go?”

“Anywhere you want,” Catra said, “but if you let me pick… we could go hide up our tree.”

Adora laughed. “Are you planning on stealing another knife from your mami’s kitchen to carve more stuff for us?”

“Sure,” Catra said, “if you want.”

“I’d take you anywhere you wanted too,” Adora said quietly, because sometimes she felt like Catra didn’t know just how much she meant to Adora. “If you asked. And if I had enough money.”

Catra laughed. “I know, loser.”

“Hey,” Adora said, realising something, “we’re still going to have our Friday night sleepovers, right?”

“Duh,” Catra said, like she’d never been more certain about anything, “we’ll be having our Friday night sleepovers until I die.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “What if I die first?”

“Oh, please,” Catra scoffed confidently, “like I’d let that happen.”

She squeezed Adora’s hand as they started to approach the big, looming school building where they’d be spending the next four years of their lives. All of the nerves in Adora’s stomach filtered away when Catra smiled at her, and she knew she’d be alright.

As long as she had Catra to hold her hand, anyway.

Adora tried out for the soccer team like she said she would, and she made the cut. It was the first time she’d ever been amazing at something she actually liked doing, and it felt really good. It felt even better when her parents took both her and her brother out for dinner to celebrate. Adam had made the football team, Adora made the soccer team, and Randor and Marlena were incredibly proud.

What was even better was that Adora had made some friends on the team. Friends she’d never expected to make, given that they were the girls who always thought she and Catra were weird back in elementary and middle school. But now that Adora was on the same team as them, and knowing that they ran in the same circles as Adora’s brother, people like Mermista and Perfuma actually seemed like they liked her.

It was overwhelming and exciting, to be liked by people. So when Mermista invited her out on a Friday night with a whole big group, she said yes without thinking about it. She was barely two weeks into high school, and people were already asking her to join in. After being considered a weirdo for the majority of her life, it was pretty exciting.

Halfway through practice on that fateful Friday night, she looked up to see Catra watching in the bleachers. Her stomach fluttered nervously, because besides tryouts when everyone was playing, Adora had never played in front of Catra before. Catra hadn’t even told her she was coming, and Adora had never asked her to come to practice, unsure if she’d be interested.

Either way, she put 200% effort into practice just because her best friend was there, and decides quickly that she doesn’t want to play in the first game of the season if Catra isn’t in the crowd.

When practice finished, she followed the rest of her team to the locker room, but rushed straight through to catch Catra before she went. She wanted to thank her for coming to watch practice. Adora didn’t have to look far, because Catra was already waiting for her.

Her best friend flashed a soft smile and said, “are you ready to go?”

Adora words faltered in her mouth at Catra’s question. “Go where?”

“Uh, my house?” Catra frowned at her. “It’s a Friday night, where else would we go? Did that soccer ball bonk you on the head when I wasn’t looking or something?”

Adora laughed half-heartedly at the joke, but her stomach had dropped with the realisation. Of course. It was Friday night, the night she always spent with Catra, without fail, unless one of them had family plans. Maybe it was stupid, and deep down Adora knew she shouldn’t, but she thought of their fight last year and felt a little sick.

“Oh,” she said quietly, and with a lot of guilt in her chest, she said, “didn’t I tell you? We’re going out for dinner with my grandma tonight. Family stuff, you know.”

“Oh,” Catra said, and she looked a little disappointed, but nodded, “okay, no big deal. Want me to walk you home?”

“No thanks,” Adora said, because her brother had told her they’d be getting a ride with one of his friends, “I still need to change and shower off. I don’t want to make you wait.”

“Are you sure? Because you know I don’t mind waiting.” Catra asked, but when Adora nodded, she thankfully didn’t push. Instead, she stepped forwards and pulled Adora in for a hug, even though Adora was still sweaty from practice. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay,” Adora said guiltily, wrapping her arms around Catra in a tight hug, “maybe I could stay over tomorrow? You know, if that’s okay with your mom.”

“I have my guitar lesson in the afternoon,” Catra said as she pulled back, “but you could come over after that.”

Adora felt so guilty for lying, especially as she watched Catra go, but she forgot all about it as she was out having fun with her new friends. Adam introduced her to a guy called Bow from the football team, who Adora recognised from a couple of her classes. Bow then introduced her to his friend Glimmer. Apparently they both went to the middle school across town, and when Glimmer moved houses over summer, Bow decided to transfer to the other high school to stay with her, even though it was a really long journey for him.

In a way, they kind of reminded Adora of herself and Catra. Bow and Glimmer had been friends their whole lives, just like Adora and Catra had. It made Adora wish that Catra was with them, and anxiously, she started wondering if she should’ve pushed the memory of their fight away and invited Catra along.

Then again, she wasn’t sure if Catra would’ve wanted to come along. As far as Adora knew, she hadn’t made any new friends. But then it wasn’t like Catra was even trying to meet new people. Most of the time, she never seemed interested. She hadn’t even seemed interested in making friends all the way back in kindergarten when Adora met her.

No doubt, if Adora had told Catra the truth, Catra would’ve just gotten mad at her for forgetting their sleepover. And then, to spare them from fighting, Adora would’ve apologised and gone to the sleepover instead.

“You okay?” Bow asked her, snapping Adora out of her trance.

Adora looked up at him. The whole big group she was with had essentially taken over half of the local McDonald’s, and she was currently squeezed in a booth with Bow, Glimmer, Adam, Mermista, Perfuma, some guy who had only referred to himself as Sea Hawk the whole night, and a few older kids. Admittedly, Adora had gotten lost in her thoughts while picking at her fries.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Adora answered finally, “I was just thinking that I probably should’ve invited my best friend along. We always spend Friday together.”

Glimmer, who had obviously been listening in, asked, “why didn’t you invite her, then?”

“I don’t know,” Adora said, even though she did know. She looked up at Bow and Glimmer, and after a few moments, she sighed and admitted, “yeah, I do. Last year, we kind of got into this fight.”

Bow frowned. “What kind of fight?”

Adora was a little hesitant, because she’d just met Bow and Glimmer, and she and Catra had gotten over their fight a year ago. It was water under the bridge.

Or maybe it wasn’t. After all, Adora didn’t want to tell her the truth because of that fight. She didn’t want a similar one to happen, and Catra had always been quite possessive over her.

“This guy asked me to the end of year dance last year, and when I told her, she was really mean about it and said she didn’t care,” Adora explained, “I snapped at her and said some mean stuff too, but we didn’t talk for two whole weeks. Usually we spend Friday night together, so I thought… I thought that if I told her I made plans, she’d get mad at me.”

“Hey, kid,” one of the older girls, a junior or a senior who was squeezed into the booth with them, leaned around Glimmer and looked at Adora, “I don’t mean to interrupt here, but it sounds like your best friend is in love with you.”

Adora blinked in surprise. Then she laughed disbelievingly at the ridiculous theory. “What?” she laughed a little more. “She doesn’t--she's not in love with me. She’s not… she’s not like that.”

Adora didn’t know much about gay people, if she was being completely honest. It had never been something people talked about. The most she’d heard were the things her mother had told her a few years back, plus some disdainful whispers in the locker rooms from girls complaining about lesbians creeping on them. As far as Adora was aware, being gay wasn’t a good thing.

Catra couldn’t be gay. She was the best person Adora knew.

“I don’t know,” the girl said, like her theory wasn’t the dumbest thing ever, “when people get crushes, they get jealous. Like, really jealous. And it sounded like she was upset because she knows you’re not like that, and she was jealous you were going out with someone normal.”

Adora opened her mouth to protest, but remembered that conversation she’d overheard at Catra’s house all those years ago. The one she’d overheard right after Adora had asked Catra to practice kissing with her.

“You know how girls like boys? Could—could a girl… could a girl like another girl?”

Had Catra been asking Cyra because she realised then that she liked Adora? The thought sent Adora into a panic, and something in her stomach fluttered anxiously. But it was coupled with a whole lot of terror, because Catra couldn’t like her, she wasn’t supposed to, and Adora definitely couldn’t like her back.

Maybe that was why Catra had been so mad about Adora going to the dance with Kyle. Maybe it wasn’t because the person she liked didn’t ask her. Maybe it was because the person she liked was going with someone else.

Adora’s eyes widened in realisation, and she had no idea how she was going to deal with all of this. Because she thought that the girl was right.

Catra was in love with her.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out to see Catra’s contact photo lighting up the screen. It was a picture of the two of them together. Adora’s arm was thrown around Catra’s shoulder, and she was grinning at the camera, but Catra was looking at Adora softly.

The photograph only served to push the theory further into her mind, and Adora quickly declined Catra’s call.

Unlike how she’d promised, Adora didn’t talk to Catra all weekend. It was the longest she’d ever gone without talking to Catra willingly. She ignored all Catra’s calls and sent one text in response to the masses that Catra sent her, consisting of one word: busy.

She felt like the world’s biggest jerk, but what else was she supposed to do? She needed time to process this. Her best friend had had a crush on her for god knows how long, and Adora didn’t know how to make her stop.

It was even worse on Monday when there was a knock on her front door, and she knew it was Catra, there to walk her to school. She was terrified to open the door, but she knew she had to. She knew that she had to face her, and that Catra would be mad.

When Adora finally opened the door and met Catra’s beautiful eyes, she was surprised. Catra didn’t look angry at all. She just looked worried.

“Is everything okay?” Catra asked, and Adora knew she couldn’t tell her the truth.

What if it ruined things between them? But Adora couldn’t just act like everything was normal. She couldn’t just act like Catra having feelings for her didn’t make her uncomfortable, because it did.

“Everything’s fine,” Adora eventually answered, slipping out of the house before her parents could overhear anything, or blow her cover lie for Friday night. “Are you okay?”

Catra frowned. “I’m fine,” she said confusedly, “but I’m not the one who dropped off the face of the earth this weekend.”

“I didn’t drop off the face of the earth,” Adora said, “I was just busy.”

Busy freaking out, she thought to herself. She’d thought about the realisation she’d had all weekend, and she still wasn’t any less terrified. She’d almost spoken to her parents about it, but remembered what Marlena had told her and worried that her mom might’ve stopped her from seeing Catra all together because of this.

Adora didn’t want that. That was the last thing she wanted, ever. She just knew she needed to find a way to help Catra get over this, without Catra ever finding out that she knew. She thought that maybe, if they spent less time together, things could change.

Before Catra could say anything else, Adora decided to put her flimsy plan into action.

“I was thinking,” Adora said, “maybe we could sit with the soccer team at lunch today. You know, rather than sitting by ourselves.”

Catra frowned, and Adora already knew the answer was going to be negative. “Why would I want to do that? I don’t know them. They’re just your teammates.”

Adora shrugged. “I just thought that you might want to get to know them. You know, because they’re my friends. You might like them too, and then we can all be friends.”

“Doubt it,” Catra muttered, and Adora wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hear that. “Can’t we just sit by ourselves like always? I feel like I’ve barely seen you since Friday when you bailed on me.”

Adora still felt bad about lying, even if she was strangely grateful that she did. “I didn’t mean to bail on you.”

“I know,” Catra sighed, “you had family stuff and you can’t help that. I just meant… I just meant that I missed you this weekend, that’s all. But if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll kick your ass.”

Adora laughed half-heartedly, even though it scared her when she thought about the way Catra had missed her. “I—I missed you too, Cat. But I’d really like it if we could sit with the team today…”

After a few quiet moments, Catra nodded. “Okay. If it’ll make you happy.”

2013

Adora’s plan to create a distance had worked, in a way.

She somehow managed to convince Catra to sit with the soccer team every lunchtime. It left a good buffer between them, and Adora was usually swept up in conversation with teammates. Conversation that Catra never bothered to participate in.

They stopped walking to school together, ever since Mermista asked Adora if she wanted to join her and Perfuma in her mom’s car. Adora had skipped out on every Friday night sleepover over the last semester. It terrified her, the idea of sharing a bed with Catra and changing around Catra, when before she’d never thought twice about it. Adora was so scared that she’d even stopped studying with Catra, and a couple of her grades had slipped. She’d barely seen Catra over winter break too, when school vacations had always been their time.

They still sat together in most classes, because assigned seats couldn’t be changed. But even that was awkward.

Adora didn’t know if Catra knew that she knew. She was so wrapped up in her own feelings about Catra’s feelings that she didn’t have much attention for anything else.

Things weren’t all bad, though, Adora supposed. Things with Catra were… the way that they were, and she didn’t know how to find out if Catra was over her feelings without asking her. But everything else was okay. Bow and Glimmer turned out to be good friends, and she sat with them in all the classes she hadn’t already been sitting with Catra in. The soccer team liked her, Adam actually didn’t seem embarrassed to call her his sister anymore, and Adora finally felt like she fit in.

“You know,” Mermista said casually in the locker room, just after practice, “my parents are out of town, so we’re throwing a party later. If you wanted to come.”

Adora was so excited it was almost embarrassing, because she’d never been invited to a party before. She had too many memories of party invites getting handed out in elementary school. Adam would receive one, but Adora never would.

But Adora had learned to control that side of herself now. She had the perfect façade mastered for school, so she played it cool. “Sure. Sounds cool.”

“Maybe don’t bring that girl,” Mermista said slowly, “you know, the one that follows you around. Not that she’d want to come anyway, because I’m pretty sure she hates us all, but…”

Adora realised quickly that Mermista was talking about Catra. She opened her mouth to defend her, but then she closed it. Catra really hadn’t made any effort at all with Adora’s teammates. It’s no wonder Mermista would think Catra hated them.

“She doesn’t hate you guys,” Adora said meekly, “she’s just quiet, I guess.”

“I don’t know, she looks at us like she hates us,” Mermista said, but then shrugged in differently, “anyway, come to the party if you want. Or don’t, whatever. Up to you.”

She turned and walked away, and Adora thought of Catra again and felt guilty. Catra hadn’t said anything, but Adora just knew that Catra was mad at her. She’d given up entirely on asking Adora to hang out, and just recently stopped showing up to lunch with Adora and her teammates.

Adora hated how complicated things had become. She missed Catra like hell, and all she wanted was to hang out with her best friend the way things used to be. But all she could think about when she was near Catra was about Catra’s feelings, and the things Catra might’ve been thinking about Adora, and she panicked.

Feeling even guiltier, Adora decided she’d suck it up for a little while. It was a Friday, and she knew that Catra stayed in the music room for an hour after school for some personal practice. She found Catra there, strumming the school’s crappy acoustic guitar and humming a quiet, melancholic melody to herself.

Shaking off any uncomfortable feelings, and the realisation that it was the first time Adora had been alone with Catra for over a month, Adora put on a slightly forced smile and hung around by the door.

“You’re getting really good at that,” she said, because it was the first honest thing she could think of. Catra looked up in surprise and turned around, noticing her. She didn’t smile, so Adora flashed an awkward one and added, “I mean it. You’re really good, Cat.”

“Thanks,” Catra said tensely, and her hand tightened around the guitar’s neck, “what do you want?”

It was so awkward, and Adora hated it. She missed the days when she would’ve run into the room and pounced right on Catra, playfully messing up her hair.

“Uh,” Adora cleared her throat and stepped a little closer, “I wanted to see you.”

Catra scoffed and turned back around. “That’s fucking rich.”

“I… I did,” Adora said weakly, and when Catra ignored her, she tried again. “I know I’ve been busy lately but—”

“Busy?” Catra turned around and stared at her incredulously. “No. You’ve been a fucking asshole lately, and I’m sick of it.”

Adora swallowed the lump in her throat. “Mermista is having a party tonight. Do you want to come?”

Catra stared at her, and she looked so angry. Adora felt sick. Shaking her head, Catra turned away from her and pushed out a long sigh. “No, Adora,” she said irritably, “I don’t want to go to a party with you and your asshole friends.”

Adora bit down on her bottom lip. “They’re not assholes. If you just tried with them—”

“I’m not playing happy families with the people my best friend is ditching me for!” Catra snapped, and when Adora opened her mouth, she scoffed, “and don’t say that this is me being jealous. You haven’t spoken to me in two weeks. You’ve barely even looked at me, and you’ve treated me like shit ever since September. So what the fuck did I do wrong?”

Her voice cracked as she asked the question, and Adora's chest hurt when she realised how bad this was, just how badly she'd hurt Catra.

“You didn’t… you didn’t do anything,” Adora murmured, “I was just—I was just trying to make some new friends.”

“God,” Catra laughed humourlessly, turning away from her, “if you think I believe that, then maybe you’re dumber than I thought.”

The words hit a nerve, and Adora couldn’t believe it was Catra who said them. Catra, who knew how Adora felt about that kind of thing.

“I’m not—” Adora started, forcing down the slight waver in her voice, “I’m not dumb.”

“Sure,” Catra said disbelievingly, “go to your party, or whatever. I literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about what you do anymore.”

Adora frowned. “Why are you being so mean?”

“Why am I being mean?” Catra raised her voice, and she didn’t look like she was trying to hold herself back anymore. “Maybe I’m giving you a taste of your own fucking medicine. You’re such a fucking asshole, Adora.”

“I’m not being an asshole,” Adora tried to deny it, but she didn’t sound like she believed herself all that much. “I know we haven’t hung out as much, but—but stuff is really busy lately and—”

“And you have to have dinner with your grandma? Family stuff?” Catra interrupted, and Adora’s stomach dropped anxiously. “Yeah. I know you lied to get out of hanging out with me. I saw the pictures of you and your new besties on Facebook.”

“Cat, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to,” Adora said desperately, because she did want to, she hadn’t even known about Catra’s feelings until after that. “They invited me out and I didn’t want them to think I didn’t like them! I didn’t want them to leave me out, that’s all.”

“I don’t care about that,” Catra said, and she finally pushed the guitar aside and turned around to face her. “What I care about is that you lied to me. What I care about is that you’ve been ditching me for them for months now and you won’t even tell me why. What I care about is that you’re not being honest with me anymore.”

“Because the last time I told you something I was excited about that didn’t involve you, you didn’t talk to me for two weeks!” Adora shouted, annoyed that Catra even has the audacity to question that. “You don’t like it when I spend time with other people. You’ve never liked it, and I never understood why until I met them!”

Catra scoffed. “Oh, so you’ve been talking about me behind my back?”

“I’m allowed to talk about things that involve me,” Adora said, exasperated, “why do you even care? It’s not like you’ve ever cared what other people think.”

“You really don’t know anything, do you?” Catra laughed bitterly. “I didn’t care because I don’t care about impressing some stupid idiot classmates who’ve made fun of me since I was four. I had you, the person who was supposed to be my best friend. That was enough for me. But I’ve never been enough for you, have I? You’ve always complained, always wanted better friends. Well, congratulations, now you’ve got them. Fuck off and leave me alone. I’m done.”

“Do you ever think that this is why I didn’t tell you? Because I knew you’d get all possessive and defensive and… and selfish,” Adora snapped, “I mean, just because you’ve got some creepy fucking crush on me, it doesn’t mean I owe you anything!”

Adora regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. Catra’s eyes widened, and Adora realised that she’d never seen her look so hurt before. Not even that first time they fought.

The hurt in Catra’s eyes turned to anger, and she stalked over to the classroom door. Adora opened her mouth to apologise, to say it was okay, to say that she didn’t mind, that she’d help Catra get over it, but when Catra turned to look at her, the pure hatred on her face was enough to make the words catch in Adora’s throat.

“I guess you got what you wanted, then,” Catra said. She wasn’t shouting. She was barely talking above a murmur, in a cool anger that chilled Adora to the bone. “You won’t have to worry about me and my creepy fucking crush ever again.”

She turned and walked out of the door, and it felt like whatever was broken was completely permanent.

Adora never ended up going to Mermista’s party. She was too busy, hiding in her bedroom and attempting over and over again to contact Catra. Every phone call would ring for a while, and then get sent to voicemail.

Then it started going straight to voicemail, and as Adora’s texts continued to go unanswered, she realised that Catra had switched her phone off to block any attempted contact.

That was the thing that really pushed her over the edge. She curled up in bed and cried for so long that she missed the call for dinner. That was how Mara found her, bundled up in her sheets, sobbing into her pillow. Adora hadn’t even known her aunt was over for dinner, she’d been cooped up in her room for so long.

“Oh, Adora,” Mara hurried to sit on the edge of Adora’s bed when she realised what was happening, and started rubbing comforting circles into her back. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Catra,” Adora managed to get out, “we—we aren’t—things are—”

“Did you have a fight?” Mara asked softly, saving Adora the breath. Adora nodded into her pillow, and she heard Mara sigh slightly. “I thought something might’ve happened. You haven’t really mentioned her for the last couple of months.”

The words made Adora feel even guiltier. Regardless of what she’d said today, regardless of Catra’s feelings, Adora had been a terrible friend ever since they started high school.

“I really messed up this time,” Adora finally pushed herself up to face Mara, and realised that she was grateful Mara was the one to find her. Adora wasn’t sure if she’d feel comfortable talking to her mom about this, after what she’d said about gay people. “I think… I think Catra hates me.”

“Adora,” Mara laughed like that was ridiculous, but she didn’t know what Adora had said, didn’t see how Catra had looked at her. “Catra could never hate you. You guys have been best friends forever. Just because you had a little fight—”

“It wasn’t a little fight,” Adora interrupted, “it was a huge fight. And I—I said something really bad. It was like I couldn’t stop myself, and it’s just—she upset me so much, when she called me dumb—so I said something bad. Something I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me for.”

Mara frowned. “Well, what did you say?”

Adora opened her mouth to tell her, but quickly closed it. For some reason, any time the topic of… gay stuff… came up, it was like Adora’s throat closed over. Something about it made her incredibly uncomfortable, and she didn’t really know why.

Also, Adora worried that if she told Mara the truth, Mara might say something to Marlena. And Adora knew how her mom felt about this stuff. She didn’t doubt that Marlena would say something like this was a blessing in disguise. Marlena would tell her that it was good that Adora found out now, that it was good that she and Catra were growing apart.

But then, Adora realised, if she didn’t talk to Mara about this, she’d never know how to fix things.

“Promise you won’t tell my parents?” Adora asked, even though she knew Mara would if it was something big. “I don’t—I don’t think I want them to know.”

“I can’t promise that,” Mara said, and Adora got ready to tell her to forget about the whole thing, “ but,” Mara continued before she could, “I can do my best not to. I will have to tell them if something’s going on that could end up harming you.”

“I guess I understand that,” Adora said, and after another moment of hesitation, she decided to just say it, “I found out that Catra loves me. In—in a crush way. Are you going to tell my parents?”

Oddly, Mara didn’t look insanely shocked and surprised like Adora expected she would. Instead, she smiled softly and shook her head. “I won’t tell them.”

“Thanks,” Adora said, ignoring the flood of relief at the pit of her stomach, “anyway, I—I said something mean to her about it. I didn’t—I didn’t really mean it, though. Like, yeah, it—it scared me a little, and I didn’t… I just wanted things to go back to the way they were.”

“Okay,” Mara said to that garbled mess of an explanation. She reached out and took Adora’s hand and said, “tell me everything from the start.”

Once the floodgates were open, Adora couldn’t stop herself. She told Mara everything, from the moment she found out that Catra had feelings for her, to the last few months of trying to create a distance, until finally… “and then I said… I said that just because she had a creepy crush on me, I didn’t owe her anything.”

Mara winced, and even Adora could understand just how bad that was. Before Adora could scramble to explain herself even more, Mara asked quietly, “you haven’t mentioned how Catra feels to anyone else, have you? You haven’t told anybody at school?”

“No,” Adora said quickly, and then considered, “well, kind of. Because like I said, it was some older girl on the soccer team who made me realise. Bow and Glimmer overheard, but I haven’t told anybody. Why?”

“Because…” Mara started, and she looked conflicted, like she didn’t know how to word it, “we live in a small town, and people can be really horrible about that kind of thing. It could be dangerous for Catra if people found out. Not to mention that kids in high school aren’t exactly the most empathetic people. When somebody is different, it can lead to bullying. And … well, it’s Catra’s thing to tell, if and when she’s ready.”

Adora let the words sink in, and she hoped that nobody had overheard their argument at school. If things spread around, Catra would blame her for that too.

But then Adora thought back to the things her mother had told her, when she’d asked if girls could like girls. Looking up at Mara, genuinely curious, she asked, “can’t she just… choose to like boys instead?”

Again, Mara cringed, and Adora wondered what it was that she’d said. Before she could ask, Mara shook her head. “That’s not exactly how it works, Adora. I don’t know what Catra identifies as, but she definitely didn’t choose to like girls. Think about it; why would somebody choose to do something that would get them ostracized and bullied? If Catra is a lesbian, then it’s just how she was born. She can’t change that any more than you could change the colour of your eyes.”

It completely contradicted everything Marlena had told her. “It’s just—mom told me it wasn’t normal. She said that people like that could choose to date someone normal like everyone else, but they just don’t. And she said that if I was ever seen with someone like that, people might think I’m like that too. And I’m not! I don’t—I don’t like Catra back. I love her, but not... not like that."

She added that last part a little too quickly, and Mara raised an eyebrow. “It’s okay if you do,” Mara said, but Adora shook her head quickly, terrified. Mara squeezed her hand gently. “Okay. But your mom… she’s very set in her ways sometimes. She’s always had strong opinions about things and thinks that her opinions are the right ones. But on this particular topic, she’s completely wrong. It’s totally normal for a girl to like another girl, I promise.”

“Why does nobody talk about?” Adora asked. “I never heard about it before. Not until Catra asked Cyra once, and Cyra said it was okay.”

“Because some people can be very closed minded,” Mara said, “think about it this way. Do you like Catra any less because of this? Does Catra being gay harm you in any way? Has she ever tried to push it onto you? Would she ever try to push it onto you?”

Adora thought about that for a moment and slowly shook her head. “No. She’s—I mean, she never—tried to do anything with me.”

Adora realised in a panic that she’d tried to do things with Catra, though. Adora had been the one who asked Catra to kiss her, and when she thought back to it, something in her chest stuttered. She flushed red and pushed the thought away. That’s part of the story that she isn’t telling Mara.

Before her aunt can say anything, Adora asks quietly, “how can I fix this? I don’t want to lose her. I don’t even care that she likes me anymore, and I’ll stop talking to the girls on the soccer team and—”

“Okay, you’re allowed to have other friends, Adora,” Mara said, and Adora knew that, but it never seemed okay with Catra. So if Adora promised her that she’d ditch them, maybe Catra would forgive her. “I know it seems like the whole world is ending right now, and I know a lot of stuff is changing. But remember the last time you guys had a fight? You worked it out in the end, because you cared about each other too much not to work it out. Just give her a little time and space to cool down and process stuff, and then you guys can talk it out.”

Adora looked over at her phone, abandoned on the bed next to her. She’d called Catra what felt like hundreds of times, and Catra hadn’t answered. Maybe time is what she needed.

After all, Mara had never been wrong before.

Adora let Catra have the weekend to cool off, like Mara told her to. She hoped that Catra really will have cooled down, that maybe she’d show up and walk to school with her the way they always did before things got weird.

But Catra didn’t show, and Adora had to get a ride to school with her dad after waiting for so long.

It was okay, though, Adora assured herself. She could talk to Catra in class. They sat next to each other in every single class that they shared.

But when Adora arrived at her second period history class, there was a tall girl with short hair sitting in her assigned seat next to Catra. Adora frowned, and she was heading towards the desk to tell the girl to move, but her teacher called her over.

The teacher smiled gently and said, “your new seat is over there, Adora.”

Adora followed the teacher’s gaze, and she was at least relieved to see an empty space next to Bow. But then she processed the actual words and said quickly, “I already have a seat. Why can’t I sit with Catra like always?”

“Catrina requested a new partner,” the teacher explained, “I wouldn’t normally accommodate, but her mother called into school and let all of her teachers know the circumstances.”

Adora’s blood ran cold. She looked over at Catra again, but Catra completely avoided her gaze.

It was the same in every class they shared. Adora would be sent to another seat, or Catra would already be sat at a different one. She didn’t show up at lunchtime either, and when Adora tried looking for her, she couldn’t find her anywhere.

It had never been like this before. Even the last time they fought, Catra had never tried so hard to get away from her.

Adora remembered how they fixed things last time. Right after soccer practice finished, she ran all the way to Catra’s house, knocking on the door repeatedly until somebody answered. When Catra opened the door, Adora had to stick her foot in the frame to stop the other girl from closing it in her face.

“Wait,” Adora said, “we need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” Catra snapped, “fuck off, or I’ll slam the door on your foot.”

Adora knew that she wouldn’t really. “Come on. Please just hear me out.”

Catra scoffed. “Go fuck yourself.”

The words bounced right off her. “Cat,” Adora said pleadingly, “you’re my best friend. I’m really sorry for what I said, and I promise, you being—you being gay doesn’t matter to me. Whatever feelings you might have—”

“Trust me, any feelings I thought I had for you are long gone,” Catra snapped, “I wish I never even met you.”

Adora’s heart shattered in her chest. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do,” Catra said firmly, “you’ve never cared about me. The only reason you clung onto me in the first place was because nobody liked you. The moment you got popular, you kicked me to the curb without a second thought. You’re a shitty friend, and I can’t believe I ever—” she cut herself off quickly, took in a deep breath, and shook her head. “We’re done. I mean that. Don’t talk to me again.”

Adora’s whole body felt numb as Catra slammed the door in her face.

Chapter Text

2014

Adora was the star athlete.

She was well-liked, popular, and got invited to every party.

She had a huge group of friends, never had a day free in her calendar from some type of social event, and she genuinely did fit in with her peers.

It was everything she wanted growing up.

She hated every second of it.

Her friends didn’t really feel like her friends. They didn’t know her, not really. They were nice to her, sure, but Adora couldn’t ever see herself confiding in any of them. The only ones she felt slightly comfortable around were Bow and Glimmer, and even then, they had each other. There wasn’t anyone who really understood her. She didn’t have that one person who she clicked with.

She also hadn’t spoken to Catra in a year.

Adora kept trying, for a while. She didn’t believe that things were just over like that. Ten years of friendship, vanished in an instant. But it never mattered how much she tried. Catra had ignored her every attempt, and eventually, Adora gave up.

It didn’t stop Adora from constantly thinking about her. She saw Catra around sometimes. She was usually with that short-haired girl who stole Adora’s seat in history class, and a couple of other people. Adora figured that they were Catra’s best friends now. It was hard not to be jealous.

Sometimes, Adora tried to tell herself that Catra would come around eventually. That one day there’d be a knock on her front door, and it would be Catra, ready to talk things out. She allowed herself that single delusion.

Now, though, Adora tried to feel content with what she had. She tried not to think about Catra, because any time she did, her stomach twisted awfully, and there was a painful tug in her chest that she couldn’t quite describe.

But she had friends. Sure, maybe she didn’t feel super comfortable around them, but she supposed that came with time. And Adam actually associated with her in school now that she wasn’t just his dorky twin sister. Besides, Bow and Glimmer were nice, and Adora liked it when they hung out just the three of them. That was usually when she had the most fun, but she always knew that something—or someone—was missing.

She barely felt anything more than fine anymore.

Except when she glimpsed Catra across the room at school. When she looked at Catra, she felt an overwhelming ache in her chest, a tugging desperation that she couldn’t shake.

She was sure it’d go away eventually.

“I just feel like I’m so far behind everyone else.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Glimmer.”

“I’m serious, Bow,” Glimmer said, and Adora only half-listened to the conversation as she half-watched the movie playing on Bow’s TV. Her mind was somewhere else, thinking of someone else. “Everyone in our grade has kissed someone by now. I’m literally the only person who hasn’t.”

“Okay, even if that was true,” Bow said, “why would it matter? It’s not a big deal. People hit different milestones at different times. Adora, back me up here. You haven’t kissed anyone either, right?”

Hearing her name, Adora snapped out of the thoughts about her and sat up. “What’re we talking about?”

“Kissing, keep up,” Glimmer said, “anyway, you haven’t kissed anyone yet?”

The question brought back a certain memory, and there was a weird longing in the pit of Adora’s stomach. It was the same one she felt whenever Catra walked past her in the hallway at school.

But that kiss hadn’t counted. At least, it was never supposed to.

“Not technically,” Adora answered finally, and realised, “and I don’t really care whether I kiss someone sooner or later.”

She didn’t really care about much of anything, these days. She hadn’t felt genuinely happy in what felt like a long time.

“Wait,” Glimmer frowned, “not technically?”

“Yeah,” Bow laughed, “how do you technically kiss someone?”

“I mean,” Adora paused, and she wasn’t sure if she should tell them or not. Eventually, she settled on the vague truth. “I kissed… a friend, once. But that was just, like, for practice.”

She remembered the day too clearly. Remembered the way Catra had seemed so anxious, that first time Adora asked to kiss her. Of course she’d been anxious, Adora thought to herself, the girl she liked was asking to kiss her, but not for the right reasons.

She felt that longing pang again, that feeling she always associated with Catra. She pushed the memories away and barely registered Bow and Glimmer’s reactions.

“What was it like?” Glimmer asked, apparently not caring who Adora had kissed. “You know, kissing someone.”

“It was…” Adora thought back to the feeling, and one word slipped out before she could stop it. “It was magical.” Like the slip of the tongue had broken a barrier, Adora admitted, “it was like, exactly the way the movies describe it. Fireworks, you know?”

Glimmer sighed dramatically. “And that sucks, because I’ll never get kissed.”

“Don’t be dumb,” Adora said easily, “anyway, I still haven’t been kissed for real. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“Are you sure about that?” Bow asked, and Adora frowned at him. “It’s just…” he looked like he was debating whether or not to say what was on his mind, but eventually he shrugged, “the way you talked about that kiss before… are you sure the person you kissed was really just a friend?”

“What?” Adora spluttered defensively. The question sends her into a blind panic, and she quickly scoffed and shook her head. “Of course she was just a friend. It wasn’t—I’m not—I mean, she liked me, but we don’t talk anymore and that’s fine, whatever, and it’s not like I wanted—”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a look, and Adora cut herself off, sinking down on the couch and muttering to herself, “it’s not a big deal.”

“I mean…” Bow looked uneasy, like he couldn’t tell how she’d react, and smiled reassuringly, “it’s okay if it is, you know.”

“It’s not,” Adora said a little too sharply, “anyway, I’m hungry. We should order food.”

They seemed to know that the conversation was over, because neither Bow nor Glimmer pushed Adora on the matter. Instead, they exchanged another look that Adora graciously ignored, and then Glimmer picked up the menu for the local pizza place.

“So…” Glimmer laughed anxiously, and announced in an overly chipper manner, “how about that pepperoni, huh?”

2015

Adora didn’t understand why she could never get that conversation out of her head.

Surely, it should’ve been easy to forget. It was just a silly conversation about kissing that she’d had with her friends. She should’ve moved on from it by now.

But she couldn’t move on, for some reason. It was constantly on replay in her head, like her brain’s idea of torture. “Are you sure the person you kissed was really just a friend?”

Of course she was sure. She was so sure that when the most popular guy in her grade, Sea Hawk, asked her out, she replied with a confident yes.

It was the talk of the school—she wasn’t sure how everyone found out, but things travel fast in Etheria—and she was walking past the music classroom, convincing herself that she was excited for her upcoming date, when she heard a familiar voice.

“…like I care what those idiots are doing,” Catra was saying, “people like that are just going to peak in high school anyway.”

Her voice was familiar in all the right ways, but new in all the wrong ones. It was a little deeper, huskier than it used to be. Mature, Adora figured was the right word for it. It was the right word for Catra these days, too; she’d shown up the first day after winter break looking different.

Catra had always been one of the smallest in their grade, because she was a year younger than everyone else. But something had happened over those two weeks off school. Or maybe it had been happening gradually, and Adora had only just noticed. But Catra came back to school looking older, more confident. The last of her baby fat had siphoned away to reveal a razor-sharp jawline, and Catra walked a little taller, stood with so much more confidence.

Adora had found herself staring a lot, those first few days. Catra had never looked back.

Scorpia came into view, and Adora ducked behind the door. Her heart stuttered in her chest when she heard Catra plucking an intricate little melody on the school’s acoustic guitar.

She’s gotten really good, Adora thought, but then her mood soured when Scorpia threw an arm around Catra’s shoulders and said easily, “come on, wildcat. I’m just trying to gossip.”

“And I’m trying to practice,” Catra said, “and even if I wasn’t, I really don’t give a fuck what Adora fucking Gray is doing.”

There was a horrible wrenching feeling in Adora’s stomach. As far as she knew, it was the first time that Catra had acknowledged her existence since she told Adora she was done with her. It wasn’t exactly a positive acknowledgement.

“Weren’t you guys friends back in freshman year?” The other occupant of the room, Entrapta asked, and Adora’s heart quickened anxiously as she awaited Catra’s reply.

Catra’s reply was a scoff, and Adora could almost hear the eye roll in her voice. “Worst decision of my life.”

Adora felt sick and stepped away from the door. She headed down the hallway, forcing herself towards the cafeteria, where she could go and spend time with Bow and Glimmer and her other friends. She pushed Catra from her mind but that queasy feeling in her stomach lingered, even as her friends congratulated her excitedly about her upcoming date.

“Just… make good choices, okay?”

“I will,” Adora said, trying to dispel Randor’s worries, “I’m responsible, you know.”

“I know,” Randor sighed, and he seemed to relax when Marlena reached out and squeezed his arm comfortingly. “I just worry about you.”

“She’ll be fine, honey,” Marlena assured him, and then smiled proudly at Adora, “oh, I’m so happy for you.”

It was that pride in her mother’s voice that reminded Adora that she was doing the right thing here. She was making the right choices, regardless of the thoughts that constantly lingered in the back of her mind.

“Try not to embarrass me, please?” Adora asked, because she heard the sound of a car door outside. “I think he’s here.”

She was nervous for the date, but she supposed that was good. Nervous meant excited. It was technically her first real date—because she didn’t count that one with Kyle anymore—and she wanted it to go well. If she had a boyfriend, maybe she wouldn’t be thinking about… other things… so much.

When Sea Hawk knocked on the door, Randor wasted no time in questioning him on his intentions. Adora rolled her eyes and rushed out of the front door with Sea Hawk before things could get too embarrassing.

Sea Hawk was nice enough in the car. He asked her about school, about soccer, about her friends, and Adora answered his questions and asked similar ones back. She wasn’t sure if it really felt like a date, though. But maybe that was just because she’d never been on one.

He took her to the local Italian restaurant, and she was pleasantly surprised that he actually called ahead and booked a table. He made a few eccentric jokes that she didn’t really get and pretended to laugh at, and then they were walked to their table.

They were following the waitress through the restaurant when Adora saw her.

Catra was there. She was sitting at a table, smirking playfully at a girl sat opposite her. Something in Adora’s chest felt like it snapped, and she suddenly had an impulsive urge to stalk over there and find out who the girl was.

“Are you alright?” Sea Hawk snapped her out of whatever that was, and she quickly nodded her head. She tore her gaze away from Catra and the girl as Sea Hawk offered out an arm to walk to the table together.

He pulled out her chair for her, but she was so distracted wondering who that girl with Catra was that she barely noticed. Did Catra have a girlfriend? Surely, if she did, Adora would’ve heard something about it. Maybe the girl was just a friend. But then it looked like they were on a date…

“I would love a bottle of the wine for myself and my date,” Sea Hawk was saying to the waitress when Adora finally tuned back into the conversation, “but alas, I’m driving, and I’m underage, so I guess it’ll just be two cokes.”

She was a little confused that he was ordering for her, but she didn’t protest as the waitress walked away.

The date was fine. Fine, just like everything else. The food was nice. Sea Hawk was nice. But it wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t electrifying, it was just… okay. Maybe the movies just exaggerated things, but then Adora remembered what she’d said to Bow and Glimmer, when she’d described her kiss with Catra.

“It was like… exactly the way the movies describe it. Fireworks.”

There was a deep sense of panic at the pit of her stomach when she thought about it. She heard Bow’s voice again and panicked a little more.

“Are you sure the person you kissed was really just a friend?”

They were friends. Best friends. Just best friends.

Sure, Catra was into girls. But Adora wasn’t. She wasn’t, and she wouldn’t be, no matter how many times she thought about Catra and how much she missed her. Adora couldn’t be gay. Not only did being gay make your life so much harder, but her parents wouldn’t approve. Adora wouldn’t lose her family over something she could easily just choose not to be.

Sea Hawk was nice. She liked him. She could make this work.

Just to prove it, when Sea Hawk asked if he could kiss her, she said yes.

It didn’t prove anything. Instead, it just made her more confused. He wasn’t a bad kisser by any means. But he also wasn’t a good one. Really, Adora didn’t feel anything, but she tried to push those confusing thoughts out of her mind, because obviously that was the reason she wasn’t into it.

When he asked her out again, she agreed, and two dates later, he was officially her boyfriend.

Maybe kissing just wasn’t fun.

Maybe the only reason she’d felt so much when she kissed Catra was because it was the first time she’d ever kissed anyone.

That was how she justified it, anyway, when she kissed Sea Hawk and didn’t feel anything. After all, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good, but it was at least fine. Everything was fine, and she figured it was probably because she was growing up. She just didn’t see the world with all of that childlike wonder anymore, and most of life wasn’t a great big amazing thing.

At least, that was how she got herself through.

She found out through the rumour mill that Catra was dating Lonnie. Funnily enough, she ended up overhearing it from Kyle of all people, on the same day she had a big soccer game. The team almost lost because Adora was so distracted, but she told herself that it was just an off day. Everyone had an off day every now and then.

After the game, she went home and just happened to find herself on Lonnie’s Instagram page. The latest picture on there was a picture of Lonnie with Catra, and Adora let out a bitter scoff when she looked at it. They were in somebody’s garage - it wasn’t Catra’s, Adora knew that house like the back of her hand - and it looked like some kind of band practice. There was a drumkit set up behind them, but no drummer, and an abandoned keyboard to their right.

Lonnie’s left arm was thrown around Catra’s shoulder, and she was gripping the neck of a bass guitar in her right. She was looking at the camera, grinning, but Catra wasn’t. Catra was looking right at Lonnie, the guitar strapped over her shoulder completely ignored. There was a soft expression on her face, and mischief in her eyes, and Adora realised why the look was so familiar.

It was the way Catra had always looked at her.

She felt sick to her stomach and quickly closed the page, trying to remind herself that she didn’t care.

Despite that, she still couldn’t get the image out of her head.

“Can you believe that?” Adora asked out loud one day at lunch, when Catra walked past their table holding Lonnie’s hand. “I mean… god,” Adora punctuated with an eye roll and muttered to herself, “ridiculous.”

She didn’t realise that anybody had heard her, but when she finally tore her gaze away from Catra, Glimmer was looking at her, eyebrow raised. She looked disappointed. “What’s your problem? They’re just holding hands.”

“I just—” Adora rolled her eyes and had to force herself not to look back, “they just—they shouldn’t rub it in people’s faces.”

In my face, an intrusive inner voice pointed out, and Adora pushed it aside. But she couldn’t deny the angry, jealous feeling at the pit of her stomach when in the corner of her eye, she caught Catra smiling at Lonnie.

“I didn’t think you’d have a problem with that,” Bow said, and he looked somewhat offended himself. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I don’t care that they’re gay,” Adora muttered, and she felt her face flushing red embarrassedly, “I’m not bothered because of that, it’s because… ugh, just forget it.”

Adora paused and had to wonder why she had a problem. Really, she shouldn’t at all. She hadn’t spoken to Catra in two years. She shouldn’t be thinking about her or who she’s dating at all.

You’re jealous.

Adora quickly pushed the thought away. She wasn’t jealous. She was just… she was clearly just upset that Catra still hated her. That was all. It wasn’t like she was jealous of Lonnie. Why would she be? Adora was happy. She was in a relationship, and she had a nice boyfriend who respected her. She didn’t care about Catra, or Lonnie, or whatever it was that they were doing.

Of course she wasn’t jealous.

It was a normal Saturday night when Adora’s feigned normalcy came crashing down.

Like every Saturday night, she was out with her friends. Someone was throwing a party – frankly, Adora wasn’t even sure who – but naturally they all had to be there. She had a plan with Adam; he was pretending to be sleeping over at Sea Hawk’s, Adora was pretending to be sleeping over at Glimmer’s, and their parents would be none the wiser.

The reality was, they’d be staying out late, Adam would probably crash with one of the football guys, and Adora would go back to Sea Hawk’s after the party.

She’d never really tried drinking before, but everyone at the party was doing it. So when Mermista and Perfuma came over with a tray full of shots, smirking mischievously, Adora felt like she couldn’t say no. She took two straight off the bat, grimacing at the burning sensation as the liquor went down, but soon took more when she realised just how relaxed it was making her feel.

Four shots in, and Adora realised she hadn’t felt this relaxed in years. All of those internal worries melted away for a while, as she danced and had fun with her friends. She was wondering what the hell it was that made her so anxious all the time in the first place when she felt arms wrap around her waist and came crashing back to reality.

Sea Hawk spun her around slowly and pulled her in for a lacklustre kiss. Adora stomached it, feeling dizzy from the alcohol, and forced a smile that likely looked more like a grimace.

Sea Hawk grinned back. “Having a good time?”

“Sure,” Adora murmured, and she wasn’t convinced by her own lie.

Sea Hawk didn’t seem to notice, though. He smiled conspiratorially and nodded towards the stairs. “I found an empty room upstairs. Want to go for some quiet time?”

Quiet time was code for let’s make out, something Adora wasn’t really fond of. But she nodded and let him take her by the hand and lead her upstairs. It started the way it always did, as soon as the door closed behind them. Sea Hawk took her by the waist and pulled her in slowly, and Adora never resisted.

Somehow, they ended up lying on the bed, Sea Hawk on top of her. Adora felt uncomfortable, trapped underneath him, but she didn’t stop kissing him because it was usually over soon, and the liquor had numbed her senses just enough to make it bearable.

But then more stuff started happening. Sea Hawk’s hand moved from Adora’s jaw, and at first she barely noticed it. But then his hand started working its way underneath her shirt, and Adora recoiled fast. She pulled away, panicking, pushing him back and almost off the bed entirely.

“Okay,” Sea Hawk jumped up quickly, holding his hands up, “it’s okay. We don’t have to. You know I would never push you.”

“I…” Adora stared at him, stuck in a standstill, still sat on the bed and thinking about how things had been just moments before. She looked at him and felt sick to her stomach at the idea of doing anything. She didn’t ever want him to touch her. She didn’t even want him to hold her hand.

Everything she’d been forcing herself to bury over the last few years began to surface all at once. A lot of stuff made sense, but one thing in particular made her feel like she’d been hit by a bus. It’s something she should’ve known. Something she wished she knew a lot sooner.

She looked back at Sea Hawk and saw the reassuring smile on his face and felt incredibly guilty. The alcohol was still making her dizzy, and the panic washing over her in waves didn’t help at all.

“I’m sorry—” Adora managed to get out, and didn’t know when she started crying, “I’m sorry, I just—I have to go.”

Before Sea Hawk could react, before Adora could really think about what she was doing, she pushed herself off the bed and ran out of the bedroom door. She pushed her way downstairs, pushing past her friends, other school peers, all laughing and drunkenly dancing. She wished she could be like them, but she never had, and a part of her had always known that.

Adora thought she’d feel less suffocated when she broke out of the party, out onto the lawn where it was quieter, but really it just made it worse. There were so many thoughts spinning around her mind simultaneously that it felt as though she was still in that crowded room.

Adora didn’t know what to do or how to process anything, so she did what she’d always done best. She ran, literally, in any direction, not thinking about where she was going, all while trying to choke back the sobs threatening to break loose.

Running from her problems did nothing to help. She slowly staggered to a halt and collapsed onto a front lawn, pulling her knees up to her chest and sobbing for so long she lost track of time.

She couldn’t deny it any longer. No matter how hard she’d tried to push it away, no matter how hard she’d tried to choose the opposite, it wouldn’t go away. Adora felt like a complete and utter failure.

She’d finally cried herself dry and started to pull herself back together when she heard it.

“Adora?”

It was a familiar voice, though one she hadn’t heard in years. Adora almost thought she’d imagined it. She looked up, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, and for a split second, something in her stomach flipped.

For the shortest of moments, she thought it was Catra standing in front of her. But upon wiping at her blurry eyes again, she realised it was Cyra, standing there with a grocery bag in one hand, looking down at her quizzically.

Adora sniffed and tried to force a smile. She realised that Catra would’ve told Cyra everything that happened between them, and with how protective Cyra had always been, Adora wouldn’t be surprised if Cyra completely hated her.

Frankly, Adora didn’t think she could blame her.

“Hi,” Adora managed to get out, “long time no see.”

Cyra’s expression wasn’t one of hatred at all. At the quiver in Adora’s voice, the woman looked down at her with sympathy and held out a hand to help her up. “What happened, Adora? Why are you so upset?”

“It’s okay,” Adora said, wiping at her eyes again. After a few moments of hesitation, she took the offered hand. “Nothing happened. I’m okay.”

Cyra smiled knowingly. “Nobody cries on the side of the road when they’re okay. Now, what happened?”

Adora was hesitant, terrified of telling anybody the thoughts and feelings she’d only just stopped stuffing down. But she remembered the way Cyra had spoken to Catra that day, when Adora had overheard – or eavesdropped – on their conversation, and she felt oddly safe admitting it.

“I think…” Adora choked slightly, whether it was on the words or just more sobs she didn’t know, “I think I might be gay.”

“Oh,” Cyra sounded surprised, and it confirmed to Adora that she did know what had happened between her and Catra. But Cyra was quick to compose herself, and she wrapped a gentle arm around Adora’s shoulders. “Come on. It’s cold out, so we’ll go back to my house and I’ll get you a warm drink, and you can talk more if you feel comfortable. If not, you can call one of your parents to pick you up from there.”

“Your house?” Adora repeated, and realised she sounded as anxious as she felt.

“Don’t worry about Catra,” Cyra said, and Adora blushed, realising how obvious she was. “She’s out with her friends tonight, anyway. Said something about sleeping over at Scorpia’s.”

“Oh,” Adora didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed, so she decided to forget the whole thing and ask, “why are you helping me? I mean… after how Catra and I fell out and everything—”

“Don’t be silly,” Cyra interrupted her, “I’m not going to leave you crying in the cold when you’re obviously hurting just because you did some stupid things when you were fourteen.”

Adora almost started crying again, but she held herself together and mumbled a quiet, “thanks.”

She let Cyra lead her down the street, realising just how close she’d come to Catra’s house in the first place. She hadn’t thought about where she was going when she was desperately trying to get away from the party and her own thoughts, but it turned out that she’d stopped four houses away from the girl that she could never seem to stop thinking about.

Cyra unlocked the front door and gestured her inside. Adora stepped over the threshold for the first time in almost three years.

The house looked almost the same, but there were a few newer photographs hanging on the wall, a sad reminder to Adora of how much time had really passed. As Cyra placed her keys down in the place she always used to, Adora noticed that the photograph of her and Catra that had always stood there was gone. There was a new picture there now, of Catra standing on a stage, an acoustic guitar strapped over her shoulder.

Cyra noticed her looking. She smiled proudly and explained, “that was an open mic night she did a few months back.”

Hating that she didn’t just know these things about Catra anymore, Adora murmured, “I’m glad she’s still playing music.”

“Okay,” Cyra slipped her shoes off and nodded towards the lounge, “go and get yourself comfortable. I’ll make hot chocolate.”

Before Adora could protest or say that wasn’t necessary at all, and that Cyra had been far too kind already, she turned and headed into the kitchen with her grocery bag. Adora knew that she could just call Adam and ask him and his designated driver to pick her up, but she didn’t really want to.

Instead, she walked into the living room and tentatively sat on the couch, pretending for a little while that things weren’t the way they were. It was weird, feeling like a stranger in a house she used to consider a second home.

She glanced over at the side table by the couch, and realised with a flood of warmth that maybe her presence in Catra’s life hadn’t been completely erased. Standing there on the table was a small framed photo from the very first Halloween they were allowed to go trick-or-treating on their own.

They were ten at the time. Adora had dressed up as a princess, while Catra had decided to be a vampire. The dark cloak that Catra was wearing was partially covered by a high-visibility safety vest that Cyra insisted she wear if they were going out on their own, and in the photo Catra looked thoroughly pissed off about it. Ten-year-old Adora was laughing at her when the picture had been taken.

Adora felt an unfamiliar feeling in her chest. It was warm feeling, a sense of contentment that she isn’t sure she’d ever felt before. She realised what it was quickly and tore her gaze away from the photograph just as Cyra walked into the room carrying two mugs.

Placing the mugs on the coffee table, Cyra sank down onto the couch next to her and flashed a comforting smile.

“Do you feel like talking about it?” Cyra asked tentatively, and Adora felt that uncomfortable sense of panic in the pit of her stomach. “It’s okay if you don’t. People come into these things in their own time.”

On the surface, Adora wanted to move on from the subject all together. But if she truly didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t have stayed. Still, Adora delayed the inevitable by picking up her mug and taking a sip of hot chocolate.

“I think I’ve been running from it for a long time,” Adora admitted finally, and once she opened the floodgates, everything came out, “I think it’s partially because of my family. A long time ago—well, if I’m being completely honest, I overheard you and Catra talking one time.

“She asked you if girls could like girls, and if it was okay, and you told her it was,” Adora continued, “I didn’t realise, at the time, that she was asking because she… you know. I just thought it was an interesting question. So I asked my mom one day, and she said—she said it could happen, but the people like that could choose not to be like that.”

There was a sympathetic look on Cyra’s face, and Adora had to look away. She cleared her throat and kept going.

“I didn’t—at first, I genuinely didn’t think I was like that. I guess I just didn’t think there was any other option but to be straight. But I always felt weird, like there was something wrong, and I didn’t let myself realise until…” Adora stopped, almost choked on the words, “until tonight, honestly.”

Cyra placed a hand on top of Adora’s and smiled comfortingly. “Okay. Can I ask what made you have that realisation?”

Adora flushed, embarrassed, and desperately avoided eye contact. “I’ve been dating this guy, and—well, he tried to… you know. Take things to the next level. And I freaked out and realised that I really didn’t want him to touch me. That I hated the idea. And I understood why I’ve been so jealous of Lon—I mean, um—never mind.”

She knew that Cyra had caught that last part, because the look on her face told her so. Adora had always been able to read Catra like a book, and Catra shared a lot of mannerisms with her mother. Thankfully, Cyra didn’t say anything about it.

“Okay. First of all, I need you to know that it’s completely okay to be a lesbian, because I feel like nobody has ever told you that before,” Cyra said, and Adora winced at the word lesbian. “I know you’ll feel more inclined to listen to your mom over me, but what she told you is completely wrong and ignorant.”

Adora bit down on her bottom lip and admitted, “I tried. To make the choice she wants me to make. And now I feel like a total failure for not being able to make it.”

“You’re not a failure, Adora,” Cyra told her firmly, “get that out of your head right now.”

“How do I—if I am —you know,” Adora tried to say the word, but she couldn’t get it out again. “If I’m like that,” she settled on, “how do I accept that? Because the thought of saying it out loud makes me feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“All confidence comes with time, and nobody is saying that you have to come out to the whole world right away,” Cyra said, “you have to come out to yourself first, and find comfort in that. Because forcing yourself to be something you’re not just to please other people will only make you unhappy.”

Adora felt like she’d spent the past few years doing just that, ever since she’d started high school. She hadn’t felt like herself in so long, always yearning for the days when she was a kid, when things weren’t so complicated.

And when she had Catra.

Catra was the only person she’d ever felt truly comfortable with. With Catra, she could be as weird as possible, and Catra would never judge her or make her feel like a total idiot. She was comfortable, in a way she’d never been able to find since. And years later, she was entirely not over how everything happened.

Maybe Catra’s feelings had been mutual the whole time, and Adora was just too stupid to realise. Maybe that was why Adora had panicked so much when she found out Catra liked her, because she wasn’t ready to understand that part of herself yet. Maybe that was why she’d so desperately pushed Catra away, because subconsciously, Adora knew she’d always felt the same way, and it terrified her.

Adora Gray had loved Catrina Driluth ever since she was five years old, and she’d just been too ignorant to admit it.

Adora almost didn’t pick up on the front door opening, but she certainly heard Catra’s voice. “Mami?”

“In here, mija,” Cyra said, and Adora’s eyes widened and she shook her head frantically. Cyra only smiled and patted Adora’s hand reassuringly.

“Scorpia felt sick, so I figured I’d just come home and let her sleep,” Catra said, her voice growing even closer. There was the sound of her kicking off her shoes in the hallway, and then she rounded the corner, looking down at her phone. “I texted Lonnie but I think I might just hang out here if you want to watch a—”

Catra stopped dead in her tracks when she finally looked up from her phone and noticed Adora. For a moment, the two of them looked at each other, and Adora’s heart sped up in her chest. And then Catra’s shocked expression morphed into anger.

“What the fuck is she doing here?”

“Catrina,” Cyra scolded, “language!”

“No, mami, don’t language me,” Catra interrupted, but she didn’t tear her gaze away from Adora. Adora felt physically sick at the glare on Catra’s face. “Why the fuck is she here? You know what she did to me, why the hell would you let that homophobic bitch in here—”

“Catra, mija, please calm down,” Cyra stood up and gently placed her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, but Catra shrugged her off and stormed out of the room. She was muttering under her breath in Spanish as she went, and the only words Adora could understand were the few curse words a mischievous thirteen-year-old Catra had taught her.

“I’m just going to go talk her down,” Cyra said quickly, “one minute, Adora—”

“Wait,” Adora said without thinking, finally snapping out of the standstill Catra’s reaction had left her in, “could I talk to her? She might not listen—actually, she probably won’t listen at all—but I never really got the chance to apologise. I can go afterwards, I just… I just want to tell her I’m sorry.”

“If you’re sure,” Cyra said, and in a weak attempt at a joke, she added, “I’ll apologise in advance for any unsavoury language she might use. I’ve tried, but I never managed to stop her swearing.”

With a fond sadness, Adora remembered the time Catra had mouthed off to their teacher. She smiled sadly and stood up, asking Cyra anxiously, “is her bedroom in the same place?” hating that she didn’t know the answer.

Walking down that hallway to Catra’s bedroom, Adora felt sick. It had been so long since she’d done it, long before she and Catra had stopped talking. Adora had stopped going over, so scared of the knowledge of Catra’s feelings. She hated herself for that now. Knowing how she felt right now, she can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Catra when they were younger.

There was a lump in her throat the size of a brick when Adora lightly knocked on Catra’s bedroom door. Even that felt alien; before, knocking had never occurred to her.

It was quiet inside the room, and Adora almost gave up, until…

“Is she gone?”

Catra’s tone was bitter, and she sounded incredibly hurt. It made Adora feel even queasier, and she almost turned around and went home. But somehow she found a tiny shred of courage and answered.

“I’m really sorry, Catra,” Adora said finally, and paused for what she expected to be a loud barrage of swear words and dismissals. Instead, Catra gave her nothing, so Adora continued. “I’m not just sorry for showing up here tonight even though I knew you wouldn’t be okay with it. I’m sorry for everything that happened between us and how it went down. I won’t sugarcoat it; I was an asshole.

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted when I found out that you liked me, way back then. I panicked. I panicked because I—” Adora paused, cutting herself off, the words getting trapped in her throat. But she knew that she had to say them. Not to anybody else, but to Catra.

Adora felt she owed her that much.

“Honestly,” Adora sank down onto the floor by Catra’s bedroom door, leaning her back against it. For all she knew, Catra wasn’t listening to her. Somehow that made her feel a little braver. “I realised I wanted to be with you too. I didn’t know it yet, but I felt it. And you liking me, that made it all real. But I’d been told that it wasn’t normal for a girl to like a girl, and I was sick of feeling like a complete weirdo who’d never fit in with the normal people, so I buried it. I buried it and I pushed you away and hurt you in the process. I’m so sorry that you got hurt because I wasn’t ready to accept something about myself.

“To be completely honest, I’m not sure I’m ready to accept it now. I don’t even know where to start. But I’m finally being honest with myself, at least. So, I guess that’s progress.”

Adora looked down at her lap, not sure how to feel. In some way, she felt better. Maybe it was because she’d gotten everything out that she’d kept bottled up for so long. But whatever it was, Adora knew she didn’t have any right to bother Catra further.

“I’ll get out of here now,” Adora said, “I know you’re not okay with me being here, and I totally get that. If the roles were reversed, I’d hate me too. And please don’t be mad at your mom for helping me. I know she meant well.”

Adora took a deep breath and finally pushed herself up from the floor. She wiped at her eyes – a few stray tears had decided to fall without her permission – and made herself breathe again. She turned and took one last glance at Catra’s closed bedroom door.  

“Goodbye, Catra,” Adora said finally, “I really am sorry for everything.”

She was halfway down the hallway when she heard a door open behind her. Adora stopped in her tracks, but she didn’t want to turn around. She didn’t want to have imagined it.

“Adora,” Catra said, and Adora was completely unprepared to hear her name in Catra’s voice.

Slowly, Adora turned around to meet her gaze. Catra was looking right back at her, examining her closely, like she was looking for something. Adora hated that she couldn’t read her anymore, not like when they were kids. But whatever Catra was looking for, it seemed like she found it.

“It’ll be okay,” Catra said finally, and Adora was almost confused until she realised she’d basically just poured out her biggest secret to Catra’s bedroom door. “That stuff—it’s hard to figure out, but you’ll… you’ll get there.”

“Thanks,” Adora’s voice came out scratchy, barely above a whisper. She felt like she was going to cry again. “I’m sorry.”

Catra was unreadable. “I know,” she said quietly, but then took a breath and shook her head, “you should go.”

It hurt, but Adora understood. She nodded and murmured, “I know,” before she turned and walked out of the door.

The true panic didn’t really set in until the next day.

Maybe it was because of Catra. Maybe it was because of her family and her friends. Or maybe it was just the gravity of the whole situation.

It was most likely the latter. Adora spent the majority of Sunday crying into her pillow and trying to let everything out. And then she realised that this wasn’t just a secret she had anymore.

Catra knew. Catra could tell people. And while Adora didn’t think she would do that, she had to admit that she didn’t know Catra anymore. And when Adora did know her, when Catra was angry, she got impulsive. What was to stop Catra from blurting it out in front of people because she didn’t forgive Adora?

Adora had to make sure that wouldn’t happen.

So as much as Catra terrified her, Adora set out to find her at school on Monday. She didn’t know why she thought things might be a little different when she finally found her, hand in hand with Lonnie, walking towards the music classroom.

“Catra!” Adora called out, despite the constant worry in her chest, “hey!”

Catra turned around, and she didn’t look happy to see Adora. She frowned and asked irritably, “what do you want?”

The tone hurt, but Adora tried not to blame her. Just because she apologised, it didn’t mean Catra had to forgive her.

“I need to talk to you,” Adora said, and she locked away the big green monster in her head when she looked at Lonnie, “alone.”

Catra frowned. She looked suspicious. “Why?”

“I can’t say,” Adora said, “I just need to talk to you. Please. It won’t take long.”

Catra hesitated, and Lonnie spoke instead. She sent Catra a look Adora couldn’t read and commented, “I didn’t know you guys were friends.”

“We’re not,” Catra answered quickly, and like she’d decided having Adora near Lonnie was an inherently bad thing, she hastily added, “you go ahead. I’ll meet you in the music room.”

Relieved, Adora led her away from Lonnie, and once they were out of earshot, Catra’s tone went back to irritable. “Seriously, Adora, what do you want?”

Adora looked around; there were too many people passing through the hallway. It was lunchtime, after all, and Adora couldn’t risk having this overheard, but she also didn’t think Catra would agree to talk to her again.

In a split-second decision, Adora grabbed Catra by the wrist and tugged her into the empty janitor’s closet.

“Okay, seriously,” Catra muttered under her breath, and she looked even more annoyed when Adora slammed the door shut behind them. “What the fuck is this about? Just because my mami felt sorry for you, it doesn’t mean we’re friends, or that I forgive you.”

“I know,” Adora tried her best to ignore that and instead hurriedly got to her point. “I just wanted to make sure that you aren’t going to tell anyone. You know. About me being…”

She still couldn’t really say the word. But she knew that Catra understood what she meant. Adora didn’t expect Catra to scoff and roll her eyes in response, though.

“Oh my god,” Catra said, and she sounded mad, “Jesus, Adora, I’m not going to out you. Did you really think I’d do that? I know we haven’t spoken in years, but I think you know me better than that.”

Adora felt incredibly guilty that she had thought about it. She shook her head and murmured, “I’m sorry. I just had to make sure. I’m not… I’m not ready for anything to get out.”

Catra looked at her, and Adora felt entirely exposed under her gaze. Her heart was pounding anxiously in her chest, waiting for Catra to say something and knowing it would be some variation of leave me alone now.

“Look, I don’t like you,” Catra said finally, and the way it was so casual made Adora’s stomach churn, “but I know what you’re going through, and I know how scary it can be. So I guess I don’t blame you for needing to know.”

“Thank you,” Adora said quietly, “um, anyway, I’ll let you go now. Thanks.”

Catra didn’t need to be told twice. She turned and grabbed the door handle, and Adora was stunned when she paused. She didn’t look around, but asked, “do me a favour?”

“Never talk to you again?” Adora attempted to joke, but her voice was thin because it wasn’t really a joke. “Don’t worry. I’ll leave you alone.”

“That isn’t what I was going to say,” Catra said, still not turning around. After a few moments, she sighed and turned back, fixing Adora with that x-ray gaze. “It’s not any of my business, but you should—you should break up with your boyfriend. Whatever’s going on with you… it’s not fair to lead him on.”

Adora felt even guiltier when she realised she hadn’t thought about him since the party.

“You’re right,” Adora said finally, “I will. Thanks.”

Catra spared her one last glance before walking out of the door.

Adora had never broken up with anyone before, so she wasn’t entirely sure how to do it. Especially because she couldn’t be entirely honest about her real feelings. It felt wrong to lie to Sea Hawk, because he had never been anything other than kind to her. But Adora wasn’t ready to tell him the real reason, so she made up some bullshit excuse a few seconds after locating him in the hallway.

“There you are,” he smiled, oblivious to the grimace on Adora’s face, “I haven’t seen you since the party.”

“We need to talk about that,” Adora said, and she pulled her hand back when he tried to take it, “I think we should break up.”

The disappointment on his face was obvious, but Sea Hawk graciously hid it. Adora expected him to ask why; after all, it’s what she’d do. But instead, he nodded, closed his locker, and smiled weakly.

“If that’s what you want,” Sea Hawk said, and he was already turning to go.

“Wait,” Adora said quickly, and hoped that she didn’t get his hopes up. She knew it was what every person said in every cliché breakup, but she sighed and said, “it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just—I have some stuff to figure out.”

She regretted saying it the moment it came out. She hoped he didn’t get what she meant by that. He didn’t seem to understand, and Adora pushed the panic aside as Sea Hawk nodded and merely answered, “okay.”

Feeling guilty for leading him on for so long, Adora murmured, “I think I’ll keep my distance for a while,” and turned down the hallway before he could say anything else.

Truth was, she wasn’t entirely doing that for him. Being around her friends felt weird at the moment. Adora didn’t really know why, but maybe it was because she didn’t feel like she fit with them. Or maybe it was because she’d realised how wildly different she was to them.

Maybe it just hurt, to watch them all being so happy, while knowing that she was having such an internal crisis.

Either way, Adora vowed to keep her distance from them, and pretended they weren’t just another thing she was running from.

“Are you okay, kid?”

Adora looked up from the homework she was muddling through when her dad spoke. At first, she didn’t really register what he’d asked, and when she did, she sighed and mumbled a pathetic, “I’m fine.”

Randor raised an eyebrow, and Adora knew he didn’t believe her. He pulled out the chair next to her at the table, and Adora avoided his gaze.

“Is it because you broke up with your boyfriend?” Randor guessed, and Adora let out a derisive snort of laughter before she could help it.

“Okay,” Adora said, “even if that was it, let’s not pretend that you’d want to sit here and talk about it with me. To be honest, I thought you’d be relieved that’s over.”

“Hey, give me some credit,” Randor replied, “I never tried to threaten him once,” he paused, like he expected her to laugh, but when she didn’t, he sighed. “Do you really think I wouldn’t let you talk to me about that? If something is upsetting you, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about it.”

Adora definitely didn’t want to talk about the thing that was actually on her mind, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “Don’t worry, dad, I know I can talk to you.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” Randor said, and when Adora opened her mouth to say there wasn’t anything wrong, he quickly interrupted, “don’t lie to me. I know something’s up. You’ve been so quiet lately, and you’ve spent every weekend moping around the house when you used to be out with your friends. Are you fighting with them or something?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “it’s nothing, dad. Really.”

It wasn’t nothing, but it also wasn’t something she could talk to him about. As much as it was something Adora had to figure out on her own, it would’ve helped to have someone to talk to about it. And that someone wasn’t going to be her dad.

“I don’t believe you,” Randor said finally, “but I’m not going to push you. When you feel ready, come and talk to me, okay? Whatever it is.”

“Yeah,” Adora agreed, knowing that would never happen, “I will.”

Randor seemed satisfied with that answer, and he stood up, squeezing her shoulder once comfortingly. He turned to go, but then paused and said seriously, “Adora. You know your mother and I will love you no matter what, don’t you?”

Wondering if he’d somehow caught on, Adora’s stomach sank anxiously. But she forced herself to look up at her dad and nod. “Yeah. I know.”

“Good,” Randor smiled, “love you, kid.”

“I love you too, dad.”

Adora wasn’t sure if her parents had some kind of parental tag team going on, but after dinner, when Adora excused herself to bed, her mother came to speak to her. Adora knew she’d been a little more reserved lately, but she didn’t think it warranted all the interrogation.

Marlena knocked on her bedroom door and peered her head around before Adora could say come in. Her mom had always been bad with the concept of knocking. Marlena hovered in the doorway, like she was waiting for Adora to speak first.

Finally, Adora caved. “Do you want me to do the dishes or something?”

Marlena took that as her permission to enter the bedroom, close the door, and perch on the end of Adora’s bed. She smiled, and Adora could already tell she was worried before she said, “your dad and I are a little worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” Adora said, “I told dad that earlier and he said he’d leave me alone about it.”

“Well, your dad might be convinced by an I’m fine, but I’m not,” Marlena said, “you’re so quiet all the time, constantly looking like you’re thinking about something. You’ve cut yourself off from your friends, you broke up with your boyfriend for what seems like no reason… what’s going on with you?”

“Maybe I’m just sick of pretending to be what other people want me to be,” Adora muttered irritably, before she could help it, “I just—I just need some space.”

“I don’t understand,” Marlena said, “you seemed so much happier over the last few years, ever since you made so many new friends—”

“You mean ever since I stopped spending time with Catra?” Adora interrupted, and before Marlena could say anything, she added, “I know you never liked her. I don’t even know why.”

Marlena sighed. “It wasn’t that I didn’t like her. She was always polite with me and your dad, it was just—I thought she was holding you back. I knew you wanted to make other friends, and Catra was always very possessive over you. To be honest,” Marlena dropped her voice, like she was telling Adora a secret, “I thought she was a queer. At least, I thought she was a little bit obsessed with you, and I didn’t want you to feel pressured by something like that when you aren’t that way.”

Adora’s stomach sank, and any tiny sliver of confidence she may have had that her parents would be okay with things in the end completely disappeared. “Whatever. It doesn’t even matter anymore.”

“Is that why you’re upset?” Marlena asked, “has she been bothering you again? I can make a call to the school if—”

“No,” Adora interrupted quickly, shaking her head. If anything, Adora had been the one bothering Catra. “I haven’t—we haven’t spoken in years. I actually miss her a lot.”

That last part tumbled out by accident, but Adora didn’t try to take it back despite the look on her mother’s face.

“It’s natural to look back at the past and get nostalgic,” Marlena said slowly, “it’ll be because you’re graduating next year. You’re thinking about how things are going to change, that’s all.”

Or maybe I’m thinking about how I’m in love with her. Maybe that’s why I miss her so much, mom.

Outwardly, Adora shrugged and mumbled, “I guess so.”

“But still, some things are best left in the past,” Marlena patted her arm comfortingly, “no sense in worrying about it. This time next year, you’ll be off at college having a great time.”

Adora hummed in agreement and half-heartedly nodded along to her mother’s positive reinforcements to get her to leave. When she finally did, Adora wondered if Marlena had noticed that their little talk had actually made her feel worse. And not just about the gay thing.

In a year, Adora would be away at college. She’d move away from Etheria, and so would Catra. Adora would likely never see her again. It’s such a stark contrast to the way she and Catra had imagined things would be when they were kids.

It was just another kick in the teeth.

2016

Even though Adora would much rather be lying in bed, wallowing in self-pity, Glimmer and Bow had forced her out of the house.

In a way, Adora appreciated it. It showed that even though Adora had been distant with her friends over the last few months, at least Glimmer and Bow still cared. But that was the only way she appreciated it, really.

Due to budget cuts, their school had cancelled the annual winter formal. Typically, Glimmer wouldn’t stand for that in her senior year. Of course she couldn’t just be content with their senior prom. Glimmer had spent the last few weeks of the semester in December fundraising so relentlessly that the student activities committee had the budget to throw their own winter formal on the first Friday back after winter break.

Naturally, once the funds were secured, Glimmer spent most of winter break calling all of her friends for their opinions on theming, their opinions on the music choices she had lined up, and most importantly, asking whether they had dates.

The idea of a date right now was the last thing on Adora’s mind, so she assured Glimmer that she would come to the dance (as much as she didn’t want to) but she’d be flying solo.

Marlena was more than happy to help her get ready for it – her mom loved sharing in all that girly stuff with her. As she was putting Adora’s hair into a simple braid, she asked the question Adora had been dreading.

“So… do you have a hot date picking you up?”

“Nope,” Adora said dismissively, “I don’t.”

“Aw, that’s a shame,” Marlena commented, “you know, Adora, you’re too good to still be upset over Sea Hawk. I bet plenty of guys have asked you out already. Why don’t you say yes to one of them?”

“It’s not that,” Adora said, knowing she could never say what it actually was, “I just don’t really want to date right now. I have too much stuff going on. And, you know, senior year. There’s no point in getting invested in something when we’ll end up breaking up for college anyway.”

“That’s no way to look at things,” Marlena said softly, “after all, your dad and I met in high school.”

That was just another thing Adora would end up disappointing her parents on. The two of them were the perfect, popular quarterback and head cheerleader who married straight after school, settled down, and had kids. Adora knew that they wanted that for her too. She knew that from the way they constantly gushed over Adam and his new girlfriend Teela. 

Even if she did turn out to only like girls, Adora could never imagine her parents being excited like that for her. She couldn’t imagine them badgering her to bring her girlfriend over for dinner. The thought made her stomach churn.

“I just don’t want to be with anyone right now,” Adora lied, because there was one person she wanted to be with, the only person she could never have, “and that’s okay too.”

“I never said it wasn’t,” Marlena smiled and finished up braiding Adora’s hair, “there. You look beautiful, honey.”

“Thanks, mom,” Adora tried a genuine smile, but she knew it looked more like a grimace, “I’ll see you later.”

“Do you need a ride to the dance?” Marlena asked, “I know your brother already left to pick Teela up.”

“No, it’s okay,” Adora said, “Bow’s picking me up on his way there. He shouldn’t be too long now.”

Marlena smiled like she knew something else, and Adora quickly realised what she was thinking. “Well, I hope you and Bow have a great time.”

Adora didn’t comment on it. She knew that denying it would only encourage her mother more. Instead, she just said, “thanks for getting me ready.”

When Bow’s car pulled up outside, Adora made a quick escape before her mother could force them to pose awkwardly for photos. She rushed down the driveway to Bow’s car, hopped in the passenger seat, and muttered, “drive, quick, before my mom chases us.”

“Hello to you too,” Bow smiled enthusiastically, but thankfully he did as she asked. As he set off driving, Adora felt him taking cautious glances over at her, and she knew what he was going to ask before he asked it. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Adora answered the same way she always did, “same as when you asked me at school.”

“Come on, Adora, we all know that’s not true,” Bow said, and Adora wondered how she was so completely obvious with what she was feeling. She just hoped she wasn’t obvious with the subject matter. “I get it if you don’t want to talk about it. Sometimes stuff’s just like that. But I hope you know that you have friends you can talk to if you need it.”

“I know that,” Adora said a little too harshly, and then took a breath to calm herself down, “I’m fine, really. It’s just personal stuff.”

“Well…” Bow said it like he didn’t believe her, but he thankfully didn’t push, “I’m glad you came out tonight. It’s been a long time since we hung out.”

“Not like I had a choice in the matter,” Adora said, and she realised it sounded a lot bitchier than she intended. She added an attempt at light-heartedness, “you know, because Glimmer would’ve killed me if I didn’t show up tonight.”

“She’s glad you’re coming too,” Bow said, “and not just because you’re going to support her. We miss you, Adora. And I hope you’ll feel comfortable enough to talk to us when you’re ready.”

She wondered if he somehow knew what had been going on with her, but Adora doubted it. The only people who knew were Catra and her mother, and she didn’t think they’d tell anybody. She knew that even though she and Catra weren’t on the best terms, Catra kept her promises.

Thinking of Catra made her feel a little sick, so she forced the thought away and changed the subject entirely. “So, any word from any of the colleges you’ve applied to?”

She let him talk about it until they arrived at the dance and followed him into the decorated gym to find Glimmer. Glimmer wasn’t hard to spot, whizzing around and greeting everyone as they arrived, making sure to tell everyone that this was my idea, you’re so welcome for the dance.

“Hey, Glimmer,” Bow smiled, and Adora saw the way he always smiled at her a little softer, “the place looks amazing.”

“Thanks,” Glimmer replied, a faint blush darkening her cheeks. She looked between the two of them and the smile on her face faltered just a little. “You guys on a date or something?”

“Nope,” Adora made sure to answer quickly, “definitely not.”

“Oh,” Glimmer brightened a little, and after a few moments of thought, she nodded over to the dancefloor, “let’s all dance. I think I can leave my meet and greet post for a while.”

Adora was reluctant, but after a nudge from Bow and a reassuring smile from Glimmer, she nodded and followed her friends onto the dancefloor. Once she forgot how awkward she felt and started to relax a little, she was surprised at how quickly the loud thoughts that had been swimming around her mind the last few months quietened down.

Shockingly, Adora was actually having fun for a little while. It almost felt like things used to be, before she was so painfully aware of that little obvious truth.

But then Glimmer pulled back because she spotted Mermista attempting to spike the punch, and Adora saw her.

Catra was across the dancefloor. She was wearing a tight-fitting suit that hugged curves Adora never knew were there, and she looked incredible. Her hair was messy in that Catra way and there was a smile on her face that was so soft, a smile Adora hadn’t seen in years.

Except back then it was directed at her, not at Lonnie.

They were dancing. Adora couldn’t take her eyes off them as they swayed softly to the music, Catra’s hands touching Lonnie’s waist, and something in her chest broke. Catra was smiling, and she looked the happiest Adora had seen her in years. It did nothing to rid Adora of the jealousy she had been harbouring towards Lonnie for far too long now.

Adora knew that she and Catra were done. She knew that two civil conversations a few months back didn’t change anything. But it still hurt every time she thought about it.

Feeling sick to her stomach, Adora pulled back from Bow and excused herself from the dance. She needed to get outside to the empty parking lot to get some air. It was the only way she’d be able to tear her gaze away from the girl she’d always loved dancing with somebody else.

Slowly, Adora sat down on the edge of a low brick wall and wondered if she’d ever stop feeling this way about Catra. She hoped she would. She hoped one day she could move on the way Catra had. Maybe once she moved away to college, things would be easier. She wouldn’t have to see Catra in the hallways every day and think about what could’ve been.

Still, it seemed impossible. Adora knew that a part of her would always love Catra, and always wonder what they could have had.

“What’s up with you?”

Adora looked up in surprise, assuming she’d imagined the voice. But she met Catra’s beautiful heterochromatic eyes and something in her chest stirred like an instinct.

Then Adora finally registered the words and smiled without thinking about it.

“Not much,” Adora said finally, “just getting some air. What about you?”

Catra shrugged, and she pulled a little flask from the pocket in her tux jacket. “We might’ve taken some liquor from Lonnie’s parents and stashed it in the car until the dance started to get boring.”

Adora smiled half-heartedly, remembering exactly why she’d needed to get some air. “Nice.”

Adora figured that’d be the end of it, but for some reason, Catra didn’t walk away. She stood for a moment, between Adora and the parked car, and then slowly sat down on the wall next to her. Adora had no idea what was going on, but she didn’t want to say anything in case she scared Catra off.

“So,” Catra started eventually, “what’s the real reason you’re moping out here?”

“I’m not moping,” Adora murmured, but when she looked up at Catra, Catra raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. “Okay. Maybe I’m moping a little. But it’s not—it’s nothing you need to worry about. To be honest, I don’t really get why you’re talking to me right now after the way I fucked everything up.”

Catra was quiet for what felt like forever. Adora awaited her answer anxiously, hoping that Catra hadn’t merely had a momentary lapse of judgement.

“You’re not the only one who fucked things up,” Catra said finally, taking Adora completely off guard, “you know, back then. I can’t keep pretending like I’m a completely innocent party in all of this. It’s not fair of me.”

Adora frowned and shook her head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who freaked out and pushed you away, and I take full responsibility for—”

“I’m the one who kept getting crazy jealous,” Catra interrupted her, “let’s be real,” she looked up to finally meet Adora’s gaze, “I hated that you made new friends. I never really gave any of them a chance because I was jealous that you had other people in your life. I never felt… good enough for you. I figured if you made other friends, you’d ditch me.”

“And I did,” Adora said quietly, “that’s on me.”

“But I drove you away too,” Catra replied, “stop acting like I’m some innocent victim in all of this.”

“Catra,” Adora said seriously, “I literally said something homophobic to you, made you feel bad for something you couldn’t help. Sure, maybe you got a little jealous sometimes, but that’s nothing compared to–”

“And I insulted your intelligence, knowing exactly how much that would hurt you,” Catra interrupted her, “I can’t keep letting you take all of the blame for what happened. Even if I wanted to. So, I’m sorry too, Adora. Really. So stop beating yourself up about that, at least.”

Adora looked at her, and Catra looked so beautiful that all Adora wanted to do was lean over and kiss her. But she couldn’t do that. Catra had a girlfriend, she was happy, and Adora wasn’t going to ruin that for her.

“I appreciate you saying that,” Adora said finally, “I think maybe we both needed that closure. At least, it’s nice to know you don’t hate me.”

“I told you,” Catra answered quietly, “I could never hate you. As much as I might’ve tried to.”

Adora took the words in, and a feeling of warmth spread into her chest. It finally felt okay for her to be at least somewhat honest with her feelings.

“I really miss you, Catra,” Adora said, “and I get it if you don’t want to, but I’d really like it if we could be friends again.”

Adora knew that more than friends was off the table, and she could make peace with that. She’d missed her chance years ago, and she could accept that eventually. But she knew she wanted Catra in her life, in any way she could have her.

“I think maybe we’ll have to work up to friends,” Catra said, “but… friendly acquaintances could work for now.”

“I can live with that,” Adora said, and finally smiled. “You should get back to the dance,” Adora added after a few moments of comfortable silence, and she tried not to sound too bitter when she added, “your girlfriend is waiting.”

Catra stayed where she was momentarily, but ultimately nodded and stood up. She hesitated before she left. “Listen… about the sexuality stuff… if you need someone to talk to, just let me know. I know how much it sucks to go through that alone, so…”

Pushing away the guilt that reminded her she was the reason Catra went through it alone, Adora tried a smile and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Catra opened her mouth like she was going to say something else, but clearly decided not to. She paused, flashed an awkward smile, and turned and headed back into the dance.

As she sat out there alone, Adora realised that she felt a lot better after their talk. All hope wasn’t lost with Catra after all.

And for now, that would be enough for her.

“… happy birthday to you!”

As the song finished, Adora and her brother leaned over the cake to blow out the candles. They were officially eighteen, legal adults, and it was hard not to feel excited.

And maybe a little panicked. For someone who had constantly wanted to grow up when she was a kid, Adora really wanted to stop the clock for a little while longer.

“What’d you wish for?” Adam asked, and answered before she could say anything. “To be as good of an athlete as me?”

“Why would I wish to be less athletic?” Adora rolled her eyes, because what she’d really wished for was something entirely selfish. And maybe she was picturing a certain pair of heterochromatic eyes as she made it.

“I’ll go cut the cake,” Marlena announced, hurrying off to the kitchen with the candles still smoking slightly. Adora watched after her mom and then sank back down onto the couch, thoughtful.

She always assumed she’d be celebrating her eighteenth birthday with Catra by her side. And even though it’s maybe not impossible, Adora is terrified of bothering her. Catra had extended somewhat of an olive branch. She said Adora could talk to her if she needed to, but the last thing Adora wanted to do was immediately bombard Catra with her girl problems.

“I think maybe we’ll have to work up to friends,” Catra had said, meaning that there was a chance of that. Adora had no idea how to go about it, and she definitely didn’t know who to talk to about it.

Adam would mock her relentlessly for worrying so much, Marlena would likely do whatever she could to convince Adora not to talk to Catra again, Randor tried his best but was kind of hopeless with advice and Bow and Glimmer wouldn’t understand.

Almost like the birthday gods had heard her wish and decided to give her a shot, the doorbell rang. Randor got up to answer it, and Adora heard Mara’s voice out in the hallway, and considered her for a moment.

Mara had always been easy to talk to, and Adora knew she wouldn’t tell her parents whatever she’d said, unless it was something dangerous. After all, she never told Marlena and Randor when Adora talked to her all those years ago, when she and Catra stopped talking. Adora just needed to figure out how to word things without exposing herself.

“Happy birthday!” Mara said, and Adora got up to hug her. “Can’t believe you guys are eighteen. Seems like only yesterday you were born.”

Adam laughed and accepted the card Mara offered out, and Adora pulled back to take her own card too. Instead of opening it like Adam did and pretending to really care about the card while completely ignoring the money that had fallen out of it, Adora placed the sealed card on the coffee table and asked, “Mara, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Before Mara could respond, Marlena came back in balancing five plates of cake in her arms. “Oh, Adora, can’t you wait until after cake?”

“I guess so,” Adora murmured, taking a couple of plates from Marlena and helping her hand them out. As she held one out for Mara, Mara took it, but placed it down on the table.

“Okay,” Mara said, “tell me what’s up.”

Aware of her parents watching and most definitely listening, Adora shook her head and asked, “privately?”

Marlena looked like she was going to ask what was so important, or ask what was so secretive that Adora couldn’t tell her , but Mara spoke before she could. “Of course. Let’s go to your room.”

Adora nodded and led Mara through to her bedroom, closing the door and making sure her mother wasn’t creeping down the hallway before saying, “I need advice.”

“Okay,” Mara said, “shoot.”

Adora paused anxiously, opening her bedroom door just to make sure her mom wasn’t there. Once she knew nobody was listening in, she closed the door again and gingerly sat down on the bed next to Mara.

“So, there’s this… person,” Adora started, “and they kind of extended an olive branch but I feel like I have to make the first move and I don’t really know how.”

“Okay,” Mara said, “that’s a little vague. But this situation… is this in a romantic sense or a platonic sense?”

Adora flushed bright red at the question, and Mara smiled knowingly before she could say anything.

“So, romantic, then—”

“Yes, but also no,” Adora interrupted quickly, “they—uh, they have a girlfriend. And I’m not trying to come between that. I just want to be friends.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Mara asked her seriously, “being friends with someone you have feelings for can be… complicated. I don’t want you to get involved in something that might get you hurt.”

“It’s not—it’s not like that,” Adora said, “you don’t get it, it’s not that simple.”

Mara raised her eyebrows. “What’s the complicated part?”

Adora worried her bottom lip between her teeth, unsure of what to say. She couldn’t tell Mara the truth, could she? She had no idea how Mara felt about that kind of thing, at least not when it came to Adora. Mara could go running straight to Marlena and tell her, and then her family would stage some kind of intervention.

“Adora,” Mara said seriously, apparently reading her mind, “you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t know if I can tell you this…” Adora whispered, feeling tears stinging the corners of her eyes. She wiped at them with the back of her hand and let out a shaky sigh. “It’s kind of a big deal.”

Mara looked at her, concerned, but when Adora didn’t elaborate, she reached out and squeezed Adora’s hand. “Okay. Well. With the very vague details you’ve given me, I’d tell you not to form a friendship with someone you’re crushing on when they’re in a relationship. Your feelings will only get stronger the closer you get to them.”

“I know that, I just—” Adora cut herself off, wishing she’d never let Mara catch onto the romantic part of the whole thing. She was quiet for a few minutes, thinking through her next move, when some reckless part of her decided to blurt out, “do you know any gay people?”

The room went dead silent. It felt like Mara went completely still. Adora wished she’d never said anything, waiting for Mara to call Marlena into the room and tell her everything.

“Well,” Mara started, and Adora held her breath, “I see one every time I look in the mirror, so I suppose you could say I’m familiar with the subject.”

“Wait, what?” Adora said, much louder than she’d intended. She clapped a hand over her mouth and looked at Mara in shock. “Seriously? You’re—why didn’t I know?”

Mara sighed and looked away from her. “Your mother asked me not to say anything to you or your brother. She didn’t want you influenced by my lifestyle. She threatened to cut me off unless I kept it a secret.”

Adora’s stomach churned a little at the thought. She tried to get over the revelation that Mara was gay, and merely said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mara said quietly, “at least she didn’t completely shut me out. It could’ve happened regardless. Anyway, why did you ask about that?”

All of a sudden, it felt safer to tell the truth. After all, if Mara kept her own secret all these years, naturally she’d keep Adora’s.

“I think I might be—well, actually, I…” Adora bit down on her lip. It was still hard to get it out. “I’m pretty sure I’m gay. And I’m really sure that—that I’m in love with Catra. That I’ve always been in love with Catra.”

“Ah,” Mara put an arm around her, and Adora sucked in a breath. She was relieved that she wasn’t crying. “So this person that you’re trying to make friends with is Catra? But she has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, “I don’t want to come in the middle of things—really, I don’t—because she looks so happy. And we talked at the dance a few weeks back and she said that we could work up to being friends again. And I guess I just don’t know how to approach it.”

“Well, there’s still a risk of you getting hurt. A big risk, actually,” Mara replied, and Adora knew that but she also didn’t care, “but if you really want to be friends with her again, then just talk to her. Text her and say hello. Start a conversation.”

“That’s it?” Adora frowned. “But what if she doesn’t respond?”

“Then she doesn’t, and you move on,” Mara said finally, and Adora clearly didn’t look happy with her answer. Mara smiled and squeezed her hand. “Come on. There’ll always be another girl who’ll sweep you off your feet. I dated four women before I met Hope. Who I now owe fifty dollars thanks to this little revelation.”

“Wait…” Adora blinked, ignoring that her aunt had apparently been betting on her love life, “you and Hope are together?”

Mara laughed. “I figured that was implied when I came out to you. Adora, I’ve been living with her for fifteen years. I thought it’d be obvious.”

“Well, when you put it like that…” Adora murmured, rolling her eyes. Mara chuckled lightly, and Adora managed a small laugh in return before she turned and pulled her aunt in for a real hug. “Thanks. And please don’t tell my parents what I said, I don’t know how they’re going to react and… well…”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anybody,” Mara assured her, “and Adora… your parents love you. They always will, no matter what.”

Adora deflated slightly. After what Mara had said to her, she didn’t feel that much better about it. Mara had said herself that Marlena wasn’t okay with it. Sure, her mother might not stop loving her, but she wouldn’t embrace her. Their relationship would never be the same.

“Adora?”

Almost as if her mother had heard her thoughts – or, Adora thought with a panic, had been listening in – she knocked on the bedroom door and opened it without hesitating. There was a look on Marlena’s face, and Adora instantly knew that something was going on.

“What?” Adora asked, waiting for her mother to reveal that she’d been listening the whole time.

“You have a visitor.”

Adora frowned, the words taking her off guard. She looked at Mara, who shrugged, and then stood up slowly. “Okay. Are Bow and Glimmer here or something?”

Her question was answered as she followed her mother out into the hallway, and she met the beautiful eyes she’d always loved. Catra was standing by the front door, one hand stuffed in her jacket pocket, the other gripping the handles of a gift bag.

Adora blinked in surprise and blurted out, “what’re you doing here?”

Catra let out a breath that sounded a little bit like a snort of laughter. “Nice to see you too.”

Mara nudged her playfully and winked as she walked past, making Adora blush bright red. But thankfully, she ushered Marlena into the lounge with her and closed the door behind them, giving Adora and Catra some privacy.

“I mean, hi,” Adora finally corrected, “but… yeah. Why are you here?”

“I was in the neighbourhood,” Catra shrugged, and Adora almost took her words at face value. But then she smiled slightly and rolled her eyes. “It’s your eighteenth birthday, nerd. I brought you a present.”

Butterflies went crazy in Adora’s stomach as the words sunk in, and she slowly accepted the outstretched gift bag. “You… you remembered my birthday?”

“Obviously,” Catra retorted, “why else would I be here?”

Adora smiled, and she wanted to pull Catra in for a hug, but she didn’t know if it was okay yet. Instead, she nodded towards the lounge. “Do you want some birthday cake?”

Catra hesitated for a few moments, but then she shrugged. “Depends on the flavour.”

“Oh, it’s chocolate cake—” Adora started, and then she caught a glimpse of the playful sparkle in Catra’s eyes and cut herself off, “and you were totally kidding.”

Catra smiled finally. “Cake would be good. Happy birthday, by the way. Didn’t actually say it yet.”

“Shaping up to be one of the best in the last few years,” Adora said, and she hoped she wasn’t making her feelings totally obvious. She quickly snapped to attention and opened the door to the lounge, gesturing Catra over to one of the free spaces on the couch. “Just get comfy, I’ll grab some cake—”

“Don’t worry about that,” Marlena interrupted, and Adora almost thought her mother was going to lie and say there was no cake left. But she stood up and smiled politely, “I’ll get the cake, Adora.”

“Oh,” Adora knew she sounded surprised, but she shook it off and sat down next to Catra, “thanks, mom.”

Adora wanted all of Catra’s undivided attention, but she understood that her family were surprised by her sudden appearance. After all, Adora was surprised.

“Catra!” Randor said enthusiastically as Catra sat down. “Nice to see you again, kid. You’ve definitely grown up a lot since the last time you were over here. How’ve you been, what’ve you been up to?”

“I’ve been good,” Catra said, “just, you know, applying to colleges and stuff. Figuring out what I’m going to do after we graduate.”

“You’ll have no problem getting into whatever school you want, if your grades are anything like they used to be,” Randor replied, “always top of the class, I remember.”

Wanting Catra’s attention, Adora smiled and murmured, “yeah, she’s still a nerd.”

“Hey,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I don’t think nerds play guitar in a cool punk rock band.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adora retorted, “I still bet you’re applying to ivy leagues.”

There was a light blush on Catra’s cheeks, and Adora felt proud of herself for being the one to make it appear. Catra avoided her gaze and muttered, “maybe a couple.”

She didn’t seem that excited about it, and there was something a little off about Catra’s response. Adora picked up on it, but she didn’t want to question something that might be nothing in front of her entire family.

Marlena came back in with a slice of cake and offered it to Catra, who smiled politely and thanked her. Adora was trying to think of something to say, and blurted out the very riveting, “so, uh, what do you think of the cake?”

“Even better than I remember,” Catra said, smiling a little, like she knew just how much Adora was overthinking things. “Finally perfected the recipe, Marlena?”

“Almost,” Marlena said, though she wasn’t as jovial as she usually was with Adora’s friends, “another few years and I think I’ll crack it.”

“So,” Catra turned to her after another few forkfuls of cake, “aren’t you going to open your present?”

“Oh, right,” Adora blinked, remembering the gift bag in her hand. She opened it up and pulled out the card first, tearing open the envelope and reading the message inside.

It wasn’t a confession of Catra’s undying love for her, unfortunately. The card simply read happy birthday Adora, from Catra (and Cyra), but Adora thanked her and placed it on the coffee table anyway. Then she pulled out the gift, wrapped in soft golden paper. She tore it open and blinked in surprise when she pulled out a soccer jersey.

At first, Adora figured it was just a normal replica of the U.S. women’s team uniform. But then she turned the shirt over and saw her own name proudly emblazoned on the back, along with the number eighteen.

Somehow, despite barely speaking to Adora for the last three years, Catra had managed to completely nail her birthday present. Adora lowered the shirt slowly and looked at Catra with a smile. She was sure there were some tears in her eyes, but Adora tried her best to hold them back.

“This is amazing,” Adora said, and then tried, “can I hug you?”

Catra didn’t reply verbally. Instead, she simply nodded, putting her empty plate down, and Adora didn’t wait for her to change her mind. She pulled Catra in for a hug, and immediately felt like she was coming back home after a trip that had dragged on for far too long.

They still fit together in the same way they always had, like they were quite literally made for each other.

Catra began to pull back much too soon for Adora’s liking, but Adora let her go. She smiled at her and then directed her gaze back at the shirt. “Thanks. This is really cool.”

Catra smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”

They held each other’s gaze for a moment, and Adora felt like something passed between them. Or at least, she hoped it was some kind of moment.

Catra was the one to break it. She turned and cleared her throat, and then said quickly, “uh, I should probably get going. I’m meeting Lonnie at one.”

Adora’s mood immediately soured at the mention of her name. But she nodded, appreciating that Catra had bothered to come over in the first place. “Okay. Thanks for coming over.”

“Happy birthday,” Catra said again as she stood up. She smiled and nodded over to the empty plate. “Thanks for the cake.”

“Thanks for the present,” Adora stood up to walk her to the door, and once she’d closed the lounge door behind her and felt as though she had a little privacy, she added sincerely, “I really appreciate that you came. It meant a lot.”

“Yeah, well,” Catra shrugged, “you don’t turn eighteen every day.”

“Still,” Adora smiled, “I appreciate it. I’ll… see you at school?”

“Yeah,” Catra nodded, “see you at school.”

Adora watched as Catra walked down the driveway and out of sight, her heart tugging longingly.

“Look, she finally makes an appearance!”

Adora grimaced as she sat down next to Glimmer at their usual lunch table in the cafeteria. She acknowledged Mermista’s comment with a quietly forced laugh and began opening up her lunch.

Admittedly, Adora had been cowering in the library for the past few months during her lunch breaks. Something in her felt uncomfortable being around her friends, and she figured she owed Sea Hawk a few months of respite away from her before she started showing her face again.

But Glimmer had texted her that morning and asked her – well, more like commanded her – to start joining them for lunch again, and she finally caved.

“Glad you came,” Bow smiled at her from Glimmer’s left, and Adora avoided response by taking a bite of her sandwich.

“Adora,” Sea Hawk said, and Adora wondered why he’d bothered speaking to her. She looked across the table where he was sitting next to Mermista, and realised belatedly that they were holding hands.

“I just wanted to say that there are no hard feelings,” Sea Hawk said, “as you can see, I’ve moved on.”

“Uh, yeah,” Adora wasn’t entirely sure what she should say to that, “I’m happy for you. And yeah, uh, no hard feelings.”

“Seems like everyone’s coupling off these days,” Glimmer said, “Sea Hawk and Mermista, Adam and Teela, even Perfuma’s been talking to someone. Looks like we’re the three singles in the group.”

She glanced over at Bow as she said it, and Adora wasn’t surprised. She’d always figured that there was something there between them. Maybe that’s why they’d reminded her of herself and Catra when she first met them.

“Well, maybe you two should get together,” Adora said, and found some amusement in the way they both flushed embarrassedly and avoided each other’s gazes, “then I can be the lone single.”

Adora figured it was going to be that way for the rest of high school. Once she was over Catra, when she was in college, she could go out and meet a girl. She’d be away from her parents and anyone else that had ever known her. It would be easier that way.

She glanced in the right direction at the right time, and saw Catra passing. For once, she wasn’t with Lonnie, and that just made Adora feel better. She was walking with Scorpia, who was carrying a cafeteria tray, and Adora realised that there was enough space on their table.

“Catra!”

She called out before she could really think it through, and Catra, Scorpia, Bow and Glimmer all looked equally surprised.

“Uh, hi,” Adora finished embarrassedly, “do you want to sit here?”

Catra hesitated for a moment, her gaze flicking towards the other occupants of the table. After a few moments, she shrugged. “I guess so. Come on, Scorpia.”

“Ooh, this is a curveball,” Scorpia said pleasantly, sitting down at the table next to Perfuma, “hey, Perfuma.”

Catra slipped in next to Adora and pulled her lunch out of her backpack. As she did, Adora struggled to think of something to say, not thinking she’d get this far.

“So, um,” Adora started, as Catra placed a plastic Tupperware container on the table, “what’ve you got there?”

Catra raised an eyebrow, smiling a little. It was a fond smile, and it made Adora’s stomach flip. “Relax, loser,” Catra murmured, and then answered the question, “my mami and I had Cubanos yesterday and I brought leftovers for lunch.”

“Cool,” Adora said, and then when Glimmer cleared her throat quite loudly beside her, Adora remembered where she was. “Oh, um, Catra, this is Glimmer. And that’s Bow. They’re—they’re my friends. And guys, this is Catra. She…”

Adora didn’t know how to introduce her. She was my best friend until I ruined everything. Oh, and by the way, I recently realised I’m gay and I’ve been in love with her my whole life. Bow and Glimmer were there for part of it, but they were all so young and wrapped up in their own shit that she doubted they remembered.

“She’s an old friend,” Adora eventually settled on, “we just got to talking again recently.”

“Right,” Glimmer said, and there was a look in her eye that showed she was definitely thinking something about that. She didn’t voice her thoughts though, merely nodded and said, “nice to meet you.”

Bow nudged Glimmer and murmured something in her ear, and Adora felt herself flushing pink. She turned away from her friends and looked at a slightly amused looking Catra.

“So, uh,” Adora tried to think of a normal conversational topic, and then realised just how much she was overthinking things. She took a breath and asked, “got any lunchtime plans? You know, after you… after you eat lunch.”

“Just the usual,” Catra said, “practicing guitar in the music room.”

“Haven’t you had like ten years of practice?” Adora asked her. “Surely you’re like, a rockstar by now.”

Catra shrugged. “There’s always more to learn. That’s the beauty of an instrument. Scorpia plays drums, so she gets it.”

Catra turned to Scorpia, who nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! I tried guitar, but I don’t have the finger dexterity for all that. Catra’s really good at it though. And Lonnie’s amazing on bass.”

At the mention of Lonnie’s name, Adora’s mood soured a little bit. Even though she knew that ship had sailed between her and Catra, she didn’t like being reminded that Catra had a girlfriend.

“I’m sure she’s absolutely perfect,” Adora muttered bitterly, and hoped Catra didn’t hear. She didn’t give Catra the chance to question it, anyway. “I’m sure Catra’s better than really good. You were really good when I made you play for me that time, and you were like, ten.”

“No, I kind of sucked back then,” Catra said, “but that’s okay. Everyone sucks when they’re starting out.”

“Don’t be modest,” Adora said sincerely, “you were great.”

Catra smiled to herself. She looked like she was going to say something but changed her mind at the last second. Replacing the lid on her sandwich box, Catra tucked it back into her bag and said instead, “I should go.”

“Oh,” Adora knew she sounded as disappointed as she felt, “okay.”

“See you later,” Catra said as she stood up. She flashed an awkward smile and then looked at Scorpia, “meet you in the music room.”

“Sure thing, wildcat,” Scorpia beamed at her, and Adora watched hopelessly as Catra turned and walked away without another word.

Adora wondered what it was that she’d said. Clearly, she’d done something to make Catra take such a hasty exit. Either that or Catra was just trying to keep her at arm’s length.

She hated that she was overthinking this so much. Catra used to be easy. Adora never had to worry about a thing with her. But now, Adora overthought everything she said around Catra, and apparently that wasn’t even enough.

Glimmer cleared her throat again, and Adora looked around at her, frustrated. “What?”

Glimmer looked completely taken aback at Adora’s short, irritable response. Whatever teasing remark had been on the tip of her tongue, Glimmer forgot it. She shook her head and smiled at Adora comfortingly. “Nothing.”

Adora sighed and looked away from her. Today had suddenly taken a turn for the worst, apparently.

“You good?”

Adora looked away from the TV to see her brother leaning in the lounge doorway. Their parents were out with friends for dinner and left them to their own devices. Adora figured Adam would be going out. He usually did, spending all of his time with Teela.

“Fine,” Adora said, turning back to the TV, “figured you’d be out with Teela. I was just going to order takeout for dinner.”

“No, I mean, like,” Adam sighed and sat down on the couch next to her. He was quiet for a long time, long enough for Adora to ignore him and go back to watching people falling over on Total Wipeout.  

“I mean, you’ve been super checked out lately,” Adam said finally, and Adora whipped her head around to look at him. She opened her mouth to ask, but he seemed to know what was on her mind. “No, mom isn’t putting me up to this. I know we don’t really talk about like, serious stuff, but you’re my sister. And I guess I’m just worried about you.”

“Oh,” Adora blinked, not expecting that sincerity. It was probably sad, but Adam was right; they never spoke about the serious stuff. “I guess… I guess I’m okay. Just kind of… dealing with stuff.”

It was mostly the truth. Adora didn’t feel so scared anymore. Not about her sexuality, anyway. It was just the stuff with Catra bringing her down.

Adam opened his mouth to say something, but Adora beat him to it.

“Have you ever been in love with someone who doesn’t love you back?”

“Uh,” Adam frowned, “I don’t think so? I mean, I’m not saying I don’t care about her, but I don’t know if I’m in love with Teela yet. But it definitely sucked when I liked her and wasn’t sure if she liked me back. Why? Is this about Sea Hawk or something?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “it’s not about him. It’s about—it’s about Catra.”

The words came out easier than Adora expected they would. Maybe part of her knew that Adam wouldn’t freak out about it.

“Oh,” he said, and frowned a little. Then he shrugged and said, “I guess that makes sense.”

Adora blinked. “It does?”

“Yeah, I mean… you guys were super close when you were younger,” Adam said, “and I know girls are like that and they get super close with their friends, but… I don’t know, you two were like, really close. Were you together back then or something?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “no. But she—she liked me, and I didn’t realise—I didn’t know back then that I liked her back. So I freaked out and pushed her away, and now she’s happy and she’s moved on with a stupid girlfriend and I’m still in love with her.”

“That sucks,” Adam said plainly, “why don’t you tell her how you feel, though? Like, even if she doesn’t feel the same way anymore, it might get it off your chest.”

“But I want her to be in my life,” Adora said, “and if I tell her, I ruin the tiny semblance of friendship we actually have right now. I won’t—I won’t lose her again.”

“I don’t know,” Adam shrugged, “that doesn’t sound super healthy. You’re kind of just causing yourself more heartbreak.”

“It’s fine,” Adora said, “really, I’m fine.”

Deep down, Adora knew her brother was right. She knew that a part of her kept clinging onto Catra despite knowing it was futile. The hurt she’d been causing herself lately felt like punishment for everything she did.

She broke Catra’s heart. The least Adora could do was let Catra break hers in return.

“I still think you should talk to her,” Adam said, breaking Adora’s train of thought, “at least from what you said, it sounds like neither of you have ever been entirely honest with each other.”

As much as Adora liked to think her brother was kind of a dumbass, this was one of the rare occasions where he was probably right.

“I’m not going to tell her,” Adora said finally, “and—um, please don’t say anything to mom and dad about this. I know they won’t be okay with it.”

Adam frowned. “Why not? They love you.”

“You do know that mom made Mara pretend to be straight and pretend that Hope is just her best friend, right?” Adora retorted bitterly. “She didn’t want us influenced by that lifestyle.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Adam asked, and when Adora nodded, he winced. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean that mom and dad won’t accept you. It’s—it’s probably different when it’s your kid coming out to you. And anyway, it’s not like they cut Mara off or anything…”

“They tolerate it,” Adora interrupted, maybe a little too harshly, “they don’t accept it. Mom’s made enough cryptic comments over the years that prove she thinks Mara could just… choose not to be gay. They’re not going to accept me.”

Adam looked like he didn’t know what to say. Truthfully, he probably didn’t. After all, he likely understood that Adora was right.

“Well,” Adam said finally, “I hope they end up surprising you.”

Adora sighed. Me too, she thought, even though she knew she was merely setting herself up for more disappointment.

“Well, I just don’t think it’s appropriate.”

“Say no, then.”

“She’s my sister,” Marlena was saying, and Adora paused just by the living room door, “I can’t say no. I just…” her mother sighed, in that way that always showed she was disappointed about something, “I just wish she’d stop insisting on being the way she is. If she tried… ”

Instantly, Adora understood what they were talking about. Her stomach dropped, and she was going to turn around and head straight back to her bedroom, lock the door behind her, and try not to think about how her parents were going to hate her, when her mother turned and spotted her.

“Oh, Adora,” she said, and as Adora stepped into the door frame, she not-so-subtly hid a white invitation underneath a few magazines, “are you alright, honey?”

“What’s that?”

Adora barely realised the words had come out of her mouth. She hadn’t meant to say them.

Marlena glanced down at the magazines where she’d hidden the slip of paper. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Just junk mail.”

Randor spared a glance at Marlena, and then answered, “it’s a wedding invitation. Your aunt Mara is getting married.”

Marlena sent him a wide eyed look, silently questioning why he’d told her. Adora knew why. Technically, she wasn’t supposed to know about Mara being gay.

“And why would that be junk mail?” Adora asked, and she didn’t know whether it was bravery or stupidity that made her add, “because she’s marrying a woman?”

Marlena looked surprised for a moment. The expression quickly changed, and she muttered irritably, “I can’t believe she told you. I told her, you and your brother are far too young and impressionable—”

“She didn’t tell me,” Adora lied quickly, protecting Mara, but her mother’s words had made her really angry, “I’m not stupid, mom. She’s been living with a woman for basically my entire life. And I’m not young and impressionable, and being around someone who happens to be gay isn’t going to make someone else gay. It’s not contagious. People are—people are born that way and it’s not their choice. I mean, why the fuck would Mara choose something that makes her own sister treat her like you’re treating her?”

“Adora, language,” Marlena merely scolded, “you’re too young to be exposed to those things. I was just trying to protect you. After all, the last thing you want is for people to think you’re a dyke by association.”

“Well, you’ll be absolutely fucking devastated to know that all of your efforts to protect me have only ever made me hate myself,” Adora said. She wasn’t shouting anymore, but she was still so angry. She was so angry that she was calm. “You want to know why I’ve been so upset the last few months? Because I’m a lesbian. And I know that my own parents will always fucking hate me for it.”

She turned around, driven completely by how angry she was, and walked right out of the front door, slamming it behind her. She didn’t wait to hear what they would say. Either way, she knew she wouldn’t like it.

She kept walking, mostly in shock. Adora couldn’t believe she came out to them like that. In a way, it felt good. Like she was standing up for herself, and for Mara. She could feel proud of herself for that. She had plenty of time to worry about the consequences later.

Once she was a few blocks away from home, Adora realised she had no idea where she was going. She couldn’t go back home, at least. Adora didn’t think she could face them.

She sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and considered her options. She could go to Glimmer’s, or Bow’s, but they’d ask her why, and she didn’t think she had it in her to tell them right now. She could go to Mara’s, but that’d probably be the first place her parents would think to look for her.

A certain voice rang in her head. “Listen… about the sexuality stuff… if you need someone to talk to… just let me know.”

Catra wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t genuine. At least, Adora didn’t think so. She had to admit that she didn’t exactly know Catra very well anymore. But Adora figured she’d understand, and she needed that right now.

She went to grab her phone from her pocket to text Catra, and realised she didn’t have it. She’d walked out of the house with literally the clothes on her back. She hadn’t even bothered to put shoes on. She glanced down at her grubby giraffe socks and sighed.

“Well,” Adora murmured to herself, “she can turn me away at the door if she wants.”

Adora pushed herself up and started the walk to Catra’s place. They’d lived within walking distance of one another their whole lives, and Adora found herself thankful for it. Now that she wasn’t entirely stewing in her internal rage, the ground was hard on her feet.

When she approached Catra’s house, she noticed that Cyra’s car wasn’t in the driveway, but there were lights on inside. She wondered if Catra was alone, or if she had certain company. Frankly, if Lonnie opened that door, Adora didn’t think she could handle it.

For now, she swallowed her jealousy and walked up the driveway, forcing herself to knock clearly on the front door. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants and waited.

After a few moments, there was movement inside. Adora heard footsteps, then the click of a key in a lock, and the door swung open.

“Hey,” Catra said, and then she blinked in surprise, “oh. Adora? What’re you doing here?”

“I… can I come in?” Adora asked, and when Catra didn’t move, she murmured, “I kind of—I kind of came out to my parents.”

Catra’s eyes widened in surprise, and then she stepped aside and pulled the door open wider. “Yeah, sure, come on. Are you okay?”

Adora’s stomach fluttered lightly. It meant a lot that Catra cared.

“I don’t know,” Adora answered honestly as she stepped inside, “I don’t think I feel much of anything. It was kind of a heat of the moment thing.”

“Oh,” Catra replied, and then asked quietly, “is that why you aren’t wearing any shoes?”

“Yeah,” Adora admitted, and when she heard Catra stifling a laugh as she locked the door, she smiled slightly. “I stormed out after. It’s just… they made me so angry.”

Catra dropped her keys back onto the table where they were kept and nodded towards the lounge. “Go sit down. I’ll get you a drink. I know where my mami hides the liquor if you need something harder than soda.”

“Just water’s okay, thanks,” Adora said, and then she walked slowly into the lounge and sank down on the couch.

As she sat down, she started wondering why she even came here. Catra had said she could talk to her, sure, but it clearly wasn’t her problem that Adora had made a stupid heat of the moment decision. And the last time Adora had spoken to her, at lunch the other week, it had been awkward.

She should’ve just gone over to Mara’s. It would’ve been a whole lot easier.

When Catra finally came back into the room carrying a glass of water, Adora looked up and said instantly, “I’m so sorry, I don’t even know why I came here because it’s totally not your problem to deal with and—”

“Okay, hey, stop,” Catra interrupted her, “I told you that you could talk to me about this stuff. It’s okay.”

“I know, but I just—” Adora sighed and hid her face in her hands, “I guess I just don’t really know how to talk to you anymore.”

She felt the couch sink under added weight, and she knew that Catra was next to her. Catra nudged her lightly and Adora jumped, hating the way a simple touch could make her feel so much.

“Look at me,” Catra said, and Adora slowly looked up, “it’s just me, Adora.”

“You’ve never been just anything,” Adora murmured. She thought back to what Adam had said a few weeks back, and realised he was probably right. Whatever happened, she had to be honest with Catra. Apparently, she was on a roll tonight.

“Can I just… be completely, a hundred percent honest with you?” Adora asked, and Catra looked over at her with a frown. “Because I don’t know if I’ll ever stop overthinking everything I say to you if I don’t just get it off my chest.”

“Okay,” Catra said slowly, “go ahead.”

“I’m in love with you,” Adora said before she could chicken out, “and I think I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old and ran crying into that stupid reading corner.”

She let the words lie, and just as Catra opened her mouth to say something, Adora spoke again.

“I’m not expecting anything from you. I want you to know that. I know you’ve moved on and you’re happy and I’d never do anything to ruin that,” Adora said quickly, “it’s just—it’s been eating me up inside along with everything else, and I needed to just—I needed to be honest with you. I get it if you don’t want to be around me anymore, and even though I’ll kick myself for the rest of my life for being too late, I promise you I’d never do anything to make you uncomfortable.

“I just—” Adora sucked in a breath and shook her head, “I just want my best friend back.”

Catra was silent for a painfully long time. For all Adora knew, Catra could tell her to fuck off and stay away from her.

“Okay,” Catra said finally, and Adora’s heart felt like it stopped beating, “come here.”

Adora looked up in shock, and before she could say anything else, Catra was pulling her in for a hug. Adora couldn’t believe what was happening, but her brain soon caught up and she wrapped her arms around Catra’s waist, burying her face into Catra’s shoulder.

Adora held onto Catra tightly, like if she let her grip slip for even a second, Catra would disappear. She held on for as long as Catra let her, and to Adora, it felt like a millennia. She’d stay buried in Catra’s shoulder for the rest of her life if she could.

Finally, though, Catra’s own grip on Adora started to slacken, and Adora reluctantly let her go. As she surfaced from Catra’s shoulder, she saw the large patch of dark grey where Adora’s tears had soaked into Catra’s t-shirt; Adora hadn’t even realised she’d been crying.

“I appreciate you being honest with me,” Catra said finally, and Adora looked up to meet the multicoloured eyes she’d fallen for, “and for what it’s worth… I loved you too, back then.”

The past tense hurt to hear, but Adora had known that her feelings were no longer mutual. “I know.”

Catra looked at her, and there was something akin to sympathy in her eyes when she turned away. “I know you said that you don’t want to be anything more than friends, but I don’t know if… I don’t know if it’d be fair for me to be friends with you when I know how you feel. I don’t want to lead you on. I know how much that hurts.”

“It’s fine, Catra,” Adora shook her head, “I deserve it.”

“No you don’t,” Catra said instantly, like she didn’t even have to think about it, “Adora, just because you hurt me like that when we were kids, it doesn’t mean you deserve to be hurt back.”

“Then what do I have to do to get you to forgive me?”

The words blurted out of their own accord, and both Adora and Catra seemed stunned by them.

“I do forgive you,” Catra said quietly. Adora must’ve looked disbelieving, because Catra slowly reached out and took her by the hand. “I mean it. I forgive you.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Adora whispered, “honestly, these last few months… it feels like you’re just pitying me because I’m going through some big gay crisis. That’s probably the only reason why you spoke to me at the winter dance.”

Catra snorted, and when Adora looked up, she was smiling slightly. “Sorry,” she murmured, “it’s just— big gay crisis.”

“Okay, well,” Adora knew she was fighting to hide a smile of her own, but she shook her head, “maybe I should’ve used a better term. But I guess it just feels like you’re keeping me at arm’s length. And I guess you’re probably just going to stop talking to me all together after this, but I meant it when I said all I wanted was my best friend back.”

“I’m not pitying you,” Catra said, “I told you, I know how much it sucks to go through figuring all of that out alone.”

Adora sighed. “Because it was my fault that you went through it alone.”

“Not really,” Catra replied, and when Adora looked at her, she didn’t look dishonest, “I mean, I never would’ve said anything about how I felt. Not how I felt about you, anyway. And the sexuality stuff… I figured it out pretty early, and I spoke to my mami about it when I finally got the courage. I wasn’t entirely alone.”

“But you should’ve been able to talk to me about it,” Adora murmured, “I was supposed to be your best friend.”

Catra let out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh. When Adora looked at her, Catra rolled her eyes fondly and smiled. “Oh, so you totally didn’t start avoiding me the moment you realised I liked you?”

Adora felt her face flush red and her stomach dropped guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Catra said, “it’s just—you would’ve freaked out either way. Whether you found out from me or… wherever else you found it out from. And I don’t blame you for that anymore. You were a kid, and you clearly had your own repressed sexuality stuff going on.”

“I wish I could go back,” Adora said quietly, “change things. If I hadn’t been so irrational…”

“But you can’t go back,” Catra answered, “nobody can. And that’s okay. As long as you learn from it and move forward.”

Adora laughed half-heartedly. “When did you get so wise?”

“I don’t know,” Catra shrugged, “spent enough time with my mami, I guess.”

“Nah,” Adora said, “you were always way too smart.”

There was an oddly comfortable silence that settled between them. Adora didn’t know what to say next. Perhaps she should leave. After all, Catra had said that she wasn’t sure if they could be friends, now she knew how Adora felt. Adora supposed she expected that.

Adora opened her mouth to say I’ll go, but Catra spoke first.

“So… how do you feel?”

Adora thought about it for a moment. There was a certain lightness in her chest that she hadn’t felt for a long time. Like the weight of all her worries had finally dissipated.

“Good, actually,” Adora said honestly, “I think I needed to get all of that off my chest. Big night for me, I guess.”

“Good,” Catra answered, and when Adora glanced over at her, Catra’s multicoloured gaze was already on her. After a few moments, Catra smiled and looked away. “So, what exactly do you want to do here? Because I don’t—I don’t think I can be friends with you if it’s going to hurt you.”

“It won’t hurt me,” Adora said, and she didn’t think she was lying. Catra didn’t look too convinced. “Catra, you’re basically the only person I’ve ever felt comfortable with. And I don’t want to lose that. I don’t—I don’t want to lose you again. I meant what I said. I don’t want anything more than a friendship. Or maybe a best friendship.”

Catra didn’t technically respond. She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then she nudged against Adora gently. “Come on, loser. I have to finish making dinner before my mami gets home or she’ll kill me. You’re staying, right?”

Adora’s stomach flipped. She knew that the offer meant she and Catra were okay. She nodded and stood up, going to follow Catra to the kitchen, but quickly pulled her in for a hug.

“Thanks,” Adora whispered into Catra’s shoulder, and pulled back before Catra could say anything, “so what’re you making? Better not be anything too spicy.”

“Bistec empanizado con arroz y frijoles,” Catra said, and when Adora looked at her blankly, she laughed, “breaded steak with rice and beans. The steak’s been in my top secret marinade for twenty-four hours.”

As she followed Catra into the kitchen, Adora commented, “I didn’t know you cooked.”

“Yeah, well, mami works late sometimes and I want to help her out as much as I can,” Catra said, “and I kind of had a lot of time on my hands after—you know, after we stopped talking. So I basically spent all my time practicing guitar and cooking.”

Even though she felt like the serious talk was over, and even though Catra was busy making dinner, Adora asked quietly, “were you… were you alone a lot?”

“Duh,” Catra snorted, “my only friend and I stopped talking,” before Adora could apologise, Catra added, “but it wasn’t for too long, I guess. Scorpia started pestering me pretty soon after that.”

“I was really jealous of her, you know,” Adora said, and Catra looked around as she started dipping the steaks in breadcrumbs, “when I saw you hanging out with her. I guess you weren’t the only jealous one after all.”

Still jealous, Adora thought to herself, just not of Scorpia.

“I guess not,” Catra replied, “but I still think I win in the jealousy category. Or, won, I guess. That’s kind of something I’ve been working on over the last few years. Trying to be less… possessive.”

“Okay, you weren’t possessive,” Adora said, but when Catra turned around and raised a disbelieving eyebrow, she laughed, “alright, maybe a little bit. But you were a kid. And anyway, I overheard you and your mom talking that time Kyle asked me to the dance. I believe what she said was when you love something, set it free. And then you told me you were sorry.”

“You heard that?” Catra asked, and when Adora nodded, she laughed. “Did you hear me come out to her too?”

Adora frowned. “That’s when you came out to her?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “she sat me down and demanded to know why I’d been a grumpy little bitch for the last few weeks while we were fighting. And I couldn’t exactly tell her why we were fighting without telling her why I was so upset about you having a date. I didn’t even think I was going to tell her until the moment I actually did. I just blurted it out and then suddenly I was telling her everything.”

Adora knew how that felt. It was how things had happened to her earlier this evening, except in an angrier way.

“Hey, uh,” Catra paused while washing her hands, “I know we kind of got the serious stuff out of the way, but I feel like there’s something I need to apologise for.”

“Oh?” Adora frowned. “What?”

“I…” Catra hesitated, but then turned around to face her, “that time we kissed…” Adora felt a knot in her throat, “I’ve always felt really bad about it. I know it was kind of your idea, but you had no idea what I was thinking at the time, and I know you probably wouldn’t have been comfortable with it if you’d known. And I guess I feel like I kind of… like I kind of tricked you into kissing me.”

“Don’t apologise for that,” Adora said, “like you said, it was my idea. And you didn’t trick me. Honestly, I… I’ll always be grateful that you were my first kiss.”

A weak smile flickered across Catra’s face. “Thought we were just practicing for boys?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “I don’t think about it like that at all.”

Catra’s gaze flicked up to meet Adora’s, and Adora felt something charged there between them. Adora felt her heart pick up in her chest as Catra started smiling for real, and if Adora didn’t have a handle on her childhood impulsivity, she might’ve pushed forwards and kissed Catra.

But then Catra turned around and broke their gaze, and asked, “so, what exactly did you say to your parents?”

Adora bit down on her bottom lip. She’d been hoping not to think about that for at least the rest of the evening. She knew she’d have to go home and face them at some point, but she’d delay it as much as she could.

“Mara’s getting married.”

“To Hope?” Catra asked, and when Adora looked at her in amazement, surprised she somehow knew, Catra laughed. “Adora, please tell me you know they’re a couple. I figured it out when we were nine .”

“I know,” Adora said quickly, leaving out the part where Mara had only recently told her, “but anyway, she sent an invitation to the wedding, and I walked in to my parents talking about it. My mom said something about how she wished Mara would just try to be straight and it made me really angry.”

“So you snapped at them,” Catra guessed, “and came out to them in the process?”

“Yeah,” Adora answered, and felt a little sick. The regret was beginning to sink in. “I didn’t stick around to hear what they had to say. I just walked out. I doubt they know where I am, and I don’t have my phone with me, so…”

“You never know,” Catra said, “maybe they were just surprised. If you stayed, maybe… they could’ve been cool with it.”

Catra didn’t sound like she believed herself, and when she turned around after checking something in one of the pans, Adora raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.

“Catra, you were around them enough to know what they’re like,” Adora said, “you know they wouldn’t be okay with it. But I guess they were going to have to find out at some point.”

“I’m really sorry, Adora,” Catra said, “and you know that you can stay here as long as you want.”

Adora stopped herself from questioning the offer. After how she’d opened up to Catra before, she’d decided that she wasn’t going to worry about where she stood anymore.

“Thank you,” Adora said, “and I think I might have to take you up on that. Honestly, I really don’t want to face them again.”

“I get that,” Catra said, and then she laughed quietly, “I mean, my mami was super supportive and I still felt really weird about her knowing.”

Adora frowned. She couldn’t believe that. If her parents had been supportive, Adora figured she would’ve just been relieved. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Catra shrugged, turning around and checking on the food, “I think it was mostly because it was this huge secret that I’d kept for so long. Having someone else know about it made me feel really weird and exposed.”

I wish you’d told me, Adora wanted to say. But she knew that Catra would just roll her eyes and comment on how Adora would’ve freaked out, and Adora knew that was the truth. She would’ve. She did.

Adora was saved from answering by the sound of the front door opening, and Cyra speaking. “Ay, mija, you wouldn’t believe those putas I have to work with. It’s like none of them know how to read a simple email…”

Cyra trailed off as she walked into the kitchen and noticed Adora. She looked surprised, and confused, but the expression was quickly replaced with a smile. “Adora! This is a nice surprise. I didn’t know you were coming over. This one never tells me anything anymore.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “I tell you stuff.”

Adora didn’t know if it was a bad sign that Catra hadn’t spoken to her mother about her. After all, Catra had always been really close with her mom, so if she hadn’t spoken to her about everything happening with Adora, then maybe she just didn’t deem it important enough.

No, Adora thought to herself, stop overthinking. She and Catra were okay now, and it was going to stay that way.

“It’s nice to see you again, Cyra,” Adora said, “sorry if I’m intruding or anything, I just–”

“Don’t be silly, you’re always welcome here,” Cyra interrupted, “are you staying for dinner?”

Catra glanced over at her, a question in her eyes, and Adora understood what it was. It was funny, how as soon as she stopped overthinking Catra, she was easier to read.

“Um, if that’s okay,” Adora said, and after a few moments, she added, “I came out to my parents. I don’t think it went well.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Adora,” Cyra said, and before Adora knew it, she was being pulled in for a hug. Adora hugged back, but it felt a little hollow, because she knew her own mother wouldn’t comfort her about this. “You can stay here as long as you need to, alright? We don’t tolerate homophobia in this household.”

Adora pulled back from the hug and sighed. “I didn’t really hang around long enough to hear what they had to say. I kind of just stormed out. Forgot my phone. Didn’t even put any shoes on.”

“We can stop by your house later and get some things for you,” Cyra said, “don’t worry.”

Adora looked between Catra and Cyra and felt a wave of gratitude. “Thank you.”

“Okay, come on,” Cyra gestured towards the kitchen door, “you sit down and relax, you’ve had a bad day. Catra will get dinner ready.”

“Are you sure?” Adora asked, looking at Catra. “I can help if you need me to.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Catra shrugged, smirking slightly, “I’m basically the Cuban version of Gordon Ramsay.”

Adora’s stomach flipped and twisted at the smirk on Catra’s face, and she found herself smiling. “So modest.”

“You know me,” Catra replied, “don’t like to brag.”

“Of course not,” Adora laughed, and despite the circumstances, she actually felt okay.

She followed Cyra into the lounge and watched TV with her, but Adora was mostly listening to Catra in the kitchen. She was singing quietly to herself as she cooked, and Adora noted how much more mature her singing voice sounded. She hadn’t heard Catra sing since that time she’d sung for her when they were kids. Catra was always so cagey about singing in front of people back then. She guessed that had changed.

A lot of things had changed about Catra. And Adora was looking forward to learning all of it.

“Dinner’s ready,” Catra finally called, and Adora followed Cyra into the kitchen where Catra was putting cutlery down on the table. Adora noticed that Catra had put an extra knife and fork in the space Adora always used to take at the table, and sat down with a small smile on her face and a buzz in her chest.

“Wait,” Adora frowned as Catra put a plate down in front of her, “how come you had three steaks ready to cook when there are only two of you? You said they’d been marinating for like, a whole day.”

Cyra glanced at Catra, and looked like she was going to say something. Catra spoke before she could.

“Scorpia was going to come over for dinner,” Catra said quickly, “but I texted and told her we’d have to reschedule.”

“Oh, okay,” Adora said, and picked up her cutlery, “tell her I’m sorry I’m stealing her food.”

She completely missed the pointed look Cyra sent over to Catra as she was digging into her food. She had a forkful of everything together, and she hadn’t even finished chewing when she looked at Catra in amazement.

“Catra, this is so good!” Adora said when she’d finally finished her bite. “Seriously, how did you learn to cook like this?”

Cyra laughed. “She learned from the best.”

“Yeah,” Catra said, and then smirked, “YouTube tutorials.”

Cyra tutted irritably. “Treat your elders with respect, Catrina.”

“Don’t Catrina me, mami,” Catra rolled her eyes, but then she looked at Adora and a slight smile showed on her face, “thanks, though. I’m glad you like it.” 

“Of course,” Adora smiled, and she made sure to clear her plate completely. Even if the rice was a little too spicy for her terrified tastebuds. When everybody had finished, Adora stood up and grabbed the plates. “I can wash these. You guys are helping me out more than you need to, and–”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Adora,” Cyra said, “you’re our guest, and we’re happy to have you. I’ll sort them out.”

Adora tried to protest, but received a rare stern look from Cyra before she could even try. Catra laughed at the exchange and nodded towards the lounge. 

“Come on,” she said, “let’s watch some TV or something.”

Reluctantly, Adora followed Catra into the lounge. Catra flopped down on the couch in the same spot she’d always occupied back when they were kids. Back then, Adora would’ve curled right up next to her; they’d never had much concept of personal space between them. But now, Adora sat on the other end of the couch and got comfortable there.

It was different. But maybe different could be good.

Catra flicked through the channels indecisively, not saying anything, before she finally settled on a rerun of an old Who Wants to be a Millionaire? She answered the questions as they came, and Adora sat quietly, watching her, until Catra laughed and said, “you still stare a lot, don’t you?”

Adora blinked, taken off guard, and she felt heat flushing to her cheeks. “I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I was just waiting to see if you knew the answer to this question.”

“Sure,” Catra said disbelievingly, then looked back at the TV and answered the question, “it’s Athena. The Greek goddess of wisdom.”

Adora realised she didn’t even know what the question was, and she looked at the TV just in time for the contestant to select the same answer as Catra and get the question correct. 

“Okay then, smarty pants,” Adora retorted, “just because you’re like, a walking encyclopedia.”

“Barely,” Catra shrugged, “a question is only easy if you know the answer, especially with trivia. And I happened to read Percy Jackson like, fifty times as a kid.”

Catra’s phone buzzed then, distracting her, and Adora realised with a wave of jealousy that it was probably Lonnie. She was probably asking if Catra was free. Because she could do that. She was Catra’s girlfriend.

“Hey, um, if you want to go out and do anything, like… with your friends, or whatever,” Adora started, “you can. You don’t have to hang around here with me.”

“What?” Catra looked up from her phone, frowning, and then caught on. She cracked a small smile and rolled her eyes. “That was a text from Pizza Hut.”

“Oh,” Adora quickly tried to play it off, “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t jealous or anything, I was just saying. In general, you know? Especially if I don’t end up going home for a few days or whatever, I didn’t mean–”

She was quite literally saved by the bell. The front doorbell rang, cutting her off, and Catra flashed her one last amused smile before she stood up. “I should get that. Be right back.”

Adora found that her eyes were glued to Catra’s retreating form, and she realised that she even walked a little different now. She held herself with more confidence, the hips that had developed over the last few years swaying softly back and forth. Adora knew she shouldn’t be staring, so she forced her eyes back to the television.

She barely noticed the voices at the door, but when she realised who it was, her stomach dropped. She’d recognise her dad’s voice anywhere.

“I just want to talk to her.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not here,” Catra was saying defensively, “and even if she was, I wouldn’t tell you. ”

Adora felt a little less nauseous when she heard Catra defending her. Her heart fluttered hopefully, but she pushed it down as she rose from the couch. She knew she had to face him.

As she walked towards the lounge door, she caught Cyra coming out from the kitchen. She’d probably also realised what was happening and decided to corral Catra back inside.

“You don’t have to speak with him if you don’t want to,” Cyra assured her, “I can handle it.”

“No, it’s fine,” Adora said, “I need to do this.”

Cyra pulled her in for a comforting hug, and Adora wished that her own mother was more like her. It would make things so much easier.

She pulled back and forced herself to put one foot in front of the other, making her way towards the front door. She was scared, but for once in her life, she’d decided she would be brave.

When her dad saw her, Adora couldn’t tell if she was imagining things. There was a look of relief on his face. Not anger, not hatred. Just relief. It filled her with a little more confidence as she came to Catra’s side at the front door.

“Adora, don’t,” Catra said quickly, “I’ll deal with him.”

She’d forgotten just how fiercely loyal Catra could be. Despite everything, Adora smiled at her.

“It’ll be okay,” Adora assured her, “I can do this.”

Catra looked at her, those beautiful multicoloured eyes staring right into Adora’s soul. She seemed to be searching for something, but whatever it was, she found it. She let out a long breath and nodded. “Okay. But if you need me, I’ll be in the lounge. Just shout.”

“Okay,” Adora nodded, and without thinking about it, she reached out and took Catra’s hand. She squeezed it once and let go. “Thank you.”

Catra looked down at their hands, even though Adora had let go. Then, after a few painful moments, she nodded and turned on her heel, disappearing into the lounge.

Adora looked up and finally faced her father. “Um… hey.”

“God, you had us so worried!” Randor pulled her in for a tight hug. “Walking out like that. No phone! Nothing! We’ve been driving around all night looking for you!”

“We?” Adora questioned, but when she looked past her dad and into the car, there was nobody else there.

“Your mom is with Adam in his car, and Mara and Hope are out looking too,” Randor said, finally letting Adora go, “now, come on. Let’s go home and sort all of this out.”

“Wait, no,” Adora stepped back, away from her father’s arms, “go home? What, and forget any of this ever happened? I can’t. I can’t just… I can’t go back to pretending, and I know you’re not okay with that, but–”

“Hey, hey,” Randor interrupted, “who said I wasn’t okay with it?”

“Uh, you and mom,” Adora answered plainly, “you know, when you were sitting there talking about how inappropriate Mara’s wedding invite was?”

“I didn’t say that,” Randor said firmly, and when Adora stared at him disbelievingly, he sighed and shook his head, “look. If it had been up to me, you would’ve known about Mara and Hope from the start. The last thing I wanted was to raise my kids in ignorance. But your mother… she can be funny about these things and… my hands were tied, in a sense.

“But she loves you, Adora,” Randor insisted, “we both do. And your sexuality is your business. No matter what, I will always love you and support you. And I know your mom feels the same way. It just might take her some time to get used to things.”

“So… what? I go home, and she just dances around the whole thing like it never happened?” Adora asked seriously. “I can’t deal with that right now. I can’t… I can’t be around that right now. Not when I’m just finally comfortable with it. If my own mother walks around acting like I have some sort of disease, how do you think that’s going to make me feel?”

“I thought you might say something like that,” Randor said, and he reached out and put a comforting hand on Adora’s shoulder, “and I understand. I really do. I packed a bag for you. Shoes, some clothes, toiletries, and your phone. If you need to stay away for a little while, I understand. Just promise me you’ll come home when you’re ready. Okay, kid?”

Adora blinked up at him, and the emotions finally hit her. She burst into tears and fell into her father’s arms, and he hugged her tightly in return. “I just,” she sniffled into his shoulder, “I just didn’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“Hey,” Randor squeezed her lightly, “you could never disappoint me. I love you, no matter what.”

“I love you too,” Adora murmured, and then pulled back, wiping at her eyes, “I think… I think I’ll stay here for a couple days. Until mom cools off.”

“Okay,” Randor said, “I’ll go and get your things.”

She watched him as he headed down to the car to get the bag, and felt a wave of gratitude. She thought that whatever positive relationship she had with her parents had been completely broken, but apparently not. Apparently she still had one of them on her side.

When Randor returned with the overnight bag, Adora placed it aside and pulled him in for another hug. “Thank you, dad. And I’m sorry for–”

“Don’t apologise for anything,” Randor interrupted her, “I’m sorry for letting you think that I wouldn’t be okay with this. And Catra… she’s a lovely girl, and you two–”

“Okay, uh, no,” Adora was quick to cut him off, because in all likelihood, Catra was listening in, “that’s not– we’re not–we’re just friends.”

“Ah, alright,” Randor answered awkwardly, “I just assumed that since you came to her… anyway, I’ll head home. I have to tell your mom that you’re okay, but I won’t tell her where you are if you don’t want that. Because I can’t guarantee she won’t show up on the doorstep.”

“Yeah,” Adora said sadly, “that might be for the best.”

Randor nodded, and after a few moments, he pulled her in for another hug. “I love you, kiddo. And your mom loves you too.”

“I know,” Adora said quietly, and then pulled back from her dad, “I’ll see you later, dad.”

She watched after him as he headed down the driveway and got into the car, before she finally closed the door. A long breath escaped her lips, and she took a few moments to herself before going back towards the lounge.

As she stepped through the door, Catra looked up. Millionaire was still playing on the TV, but Catra didn’t look all that interested in it. Cyra was sat on the adjacent couch, and she looked like she was going to ask, but Catra beat her to it.

“Is everything okay?”

Adora nodded slowly, sinking down onto the couch. “Kind of. My dad… he’s okay with it. It’s just my mom… and I really don’t think I can face her yet. Is it okay if I stay here for a few days? Think over what I’m going to say to her? My dad brought me some stuff…”

“Of course, honey,” Cyra smiled, standing up, “I’ll get the guest room ready for you.”

As Cyra left, Catra looked at her seriously. “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, and knew she meant it, “I guess a lot of it hasn’t really sunk in yet. I’ll probably freak out about my mom in the morning. Right now, I’m just tired.”

“Okay,” Catra answered, and after a few moments of quiet, she added, “but if you weren’t okay, you can talk to me about it.”

“I know,” Adora said. There was a comfortable silence then, and Catra seemed to settle back into watching Millionaire , but Adora broke it. “Hey, Catra?”

“Mhm?”

“Thanks,” Adora said quietly, “for everything.”

Catra looked around at her, that beautiful half-smile on her face. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“I know,” Adora replied, “but I’m doing it anyway. And I’ll… I’ll find a way to make all this up to you. To make everything up to you.”

Catra paused. “There’s one thing you can do for me.”

Adora sat up, attentive. “Anything.”

“Stop beating yourself up about everything that happened,” Catra said, and Adora frowned in confusion. “Seriously,” Catra added, “I meant it when I said I forgave you.”

Adora bit down on her bottom lip and asked, “why did you?”

“Because I’m not thirteen anymore, and it was obvious that you had a lot of your own shit to deal with,” Catra said, “I’m not saying what you did wasn’t shitty and didn’t hurt, because it was and it did. But I wasn’t completely innocent either, and let’s face it, we’re both different people now. We’ve grown up. I can’t hold it against you anymore, and even if I could, I don’t want to.”

“You mean that?” Adora asked quietly.

“I do,” Catra said, and then shrugged. “We’re friends. So stop beating yourself up about everything, okay? Water under the bridge.”

“Can I hug you?” Adora asked, and when Catra nodded, she pulled her in. Immediately, she felt like she was at home. Catra had always made her feel like that, like she was herself in her barest form. “Thank you, Cat. I mean that.”

The old nickname slipped out, and it felt comfortable on her tongue. Adora didn’t know if she was imagining things, but Catra seemed to hug her a little tighter for a second.

“I know,” Catra said, and when she pulled back, Adora let her go. “And thank you, too.”

Adora frowned. “What for?”

“I don’t know,” Catra shrugged, “felt like the right thing to say. Maybe I’m thanking you in advance for something.”

“Like… when I get you the opening act slot for Taylor Swift?” Adora joked, “you know, when I’m a super famous soccer player who eventually ventures into other businesses.”

“Sure, dork,” Catra smiled, and she looked so beautiful it made Adora’s heart tug longingly, “you’d better pinky promise for that one. You know, because those are so legally binding.”

“Think I won’t?” Adora held up her pinky, “come on.”

With a laugh and a shake of her head, Catra looped her pinky around Adora’s. After a few moments of what felt like charged electricity flowing between them, she let go.

“You know, I’m fully riding on that now,” Catra said, “after all, we’ve yet to break a pinky promise.”

Adora thought back all those years ago, when they promised they’d always be best friends. 

It made her heart sing.

Chapter Text

2016 (continued)

Adora stayed at Catra’s house for the rest of the weekend, and honestly, it was a weekend of pure bliss.

They didn’t even do much, but what they did meant so much. They lazed around all weekend, and Catra introduced her to quote - important sapphic media - by playing countless movies and TV shows that she insisted were a rite of passage for every lesbian.

It was a nice break from reality, one Adora appreciated. And when Monday finally reared its ugly head and she woke up again in the guest room bed, she knew it was time to go home.

She packed up her things into the overnight bag and shouldered it on the way out to breakfast. She left it by the front door and walked into the kitchen, finding Catra already in there by the stove.

“I made pancakes,” Catra said, turning around. She was already dressed and ready, looking as flawless as ever.

“What time did you get up?” Adora asked as Catra put a stack of pancakes by Adora’s usual spot. “You look like you’re ready to go.”

“Didn’t sleep that well,” Catra shrugged, sitting down at the table with her own stack of pancakes. She loaded them up with half the bottle of maple syrup and started tucking in. “Figured I’d get up so I could make breakfast before my mami set off for work.”

“Okay,” Adora said, digging into her pancakes, “how come you didn’t sleep well? Something on your mind?”

Catra seemed to hesitate for a moment, but it was so minute that Adora brushed it off. “Nope,” she answered, “just one of those nights.”

“Happens sometimes, huh?” Adora said. “Also, uh, I was thinking… I should probably go home tonight.”

Catra frowned. “Are you sure?” Before Adora could answer, she smiled softly, “because you’re not overstaying your welcome, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

“No, it’s not that,” Adora said, “I guess I feel like I’m just… avoiding my problems. And I should probably confront them.”

“If you’re sure,” Catra said, “but you can come back if it doesn’t go the way you want.”

“I know,” Adora answered, then sighed and shook her head, “anyway, are you driving us to school? Wait, can you drive?”

Catra hesitated again, tensing slightly. Like she didn’t want to say what she was going to say. Eventually, she shook her head and said, “Lonnie picks me up. I have my license, but my mami needs the car to get to work, so…”

“Oh,” Adora said, and she hoped that things wouldn’t be too awkward in that car, “oh, well, that’s cool.”

There was an awkward silence then, and Adora decided to occupy herself with her pancakes. Seemed more painless than the current subject.

“So, um,” Catra started, seemingly searching for something else to talk about, “have you told any of your friends? You know, about the gay stuff.”

“Besides you, no,” Adora said, and then considered, “well, I guess Adam kind of counts, because we’re in the same friend group. I think I’ll probably tell Bow and Glimmer today, though. Seems pointless having them in the dark when it’s my parents that I was trying to hide it from.”

“They’ll be cool with it, right?” Catra asked, “I mean, they’re both bi, aren’t they?”

Adora blinked. “What? No they’re not.”

Catra frowned. “Are you sure? I mean, I guess I don’t know for certain about Bow, but Sparkles was in my lit class last year and did a whole presentation on the representations of bisexuality in modern literature. Seems like kind of a niche subject to pick unless you are bi, right?”

“Oh,” Adora frowned thoughtfully, “I mean, neither of them have ever like, told me. I guess I figured we were closer than that.”

“Meanwhile, you’ve never told them, either,” Catra pointed out, and Adora hummed in agreement, “but I guess sometimes people don’t feel like they should have to come out and say it. After all, I never did.”

“I never gave you the chance to,” Adora said, and when Catra opened her mouth, probably to tell her to stop beating herself up about the whole thing, she added, “I’m not saying that in a self-deprecating kind of way. I just mean, like, if I hadn’t figured it out, maybe there would’ve been a time where you would’ve sat me down and told me.”

“I guess so,” Catra conceded, “but honestly, I’ve never really liked the whole coming out thing. It’s awkward as hell. I just kind of drop it in mid conversation super casually and leave it at that.”

Adora frowned. “You never sat Scorpia and Entrapta down and told them?”

“Nope,” Catra said, “just mentioned one time that the crush I had happened to be on a girl. I guess it’s less pressure that way? Makes it less of a big deal.”

“Huh,” Adora hummed in thought, “I think I might have to use that tactic with my friends. But I feel like I want to tell Bow and Glimmer everything.”

Everything included how in love with Catra she was, but Adora didn’t feel like mentioning that part. Catra knew, Catra was okay with it, and that was enough.

They finished up their pancakes, and Adora helped Catra wash the dishes; really, it felt like the least she could do. She knew she was just feeding into her own delusions, but it all felt very domestic, Catra washing and Adora drying.

Adora was quick to excuse herself after under the guise of going to brush her teeth, ignoring the fact that she’d actually already done it. Really, she was just bracing herself for the upcoming drive to school. She messaged Bow and Glimmer to let them know she needed to speak with them before class, and she’d just sent that text when Catra called her from the hallway.

“You ready to go?”

Adora sucked in a deep breath and headed out to the hallway where Catra was waiting, her backpack slung casually over one shoulder. Her phone was in her hand, and she was typing out a message - probably to Lonnie - and she looked so beautiful that it took Adora off guard for a moment.

She shook her head to push the thought away, and pulled on her shoes. “Okay, all ready.”

“Cool,” Catra unlocked the front door and stepped aside to let Adora out first, then closed and locked it behind them. Adora could see Lonnie waiting in the car parked out front, and she had to push down the flash of jealousy she felt when Catra got into the passenger seat and Lonnie leaned over to kiss her good morning.

Adora averted her gaze in favour of putting her seatbelt on, and because she felt like she had to, she said politely, “thanks for the ride, Lonnie.”

“No worries,” Lonnie said as she started to drive, “you know, considering you guys aren’t friends, I was a little confused when Catra texted me and said we’d have a passenger.”

It was said like a joke, but Adora couldn’t help but wonder if it was some kind of subtle dig. Then again, as far as anyone knew right now, Adora and Catra weren’t friends.

“Yeah, well, we are now,” Catra said, and there was something in her tone that Adora didn’t understand. It was like she really didn’t want to be on the subject right now. “Adora’s had some family stuff going on, so…”

“That why you ditched me for dinner on Friday night, too?” Lonnie asked, and Adora blinked in surprise. Catra had told her that Scorpia had been coming over, not Lonnie. Why would she lie about that?

“I didn’t ditch you,” Catra muttered, a little defensively, “I rescheduled.”

“Relax, babe, I’m only playing,” Lonnie said, and the casual term of endearment made Adora’s stomach churn. She decided to get her earphones out and put them in for the duration of the drive to school.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too far, and Adora maybe got out of the car a little quickly. She was fast-walking towards the main building, intent on finding Bow and Glimmer, when Catra called after her.

“Hey, hold on,” Catra caught up to her quickly, and Adora was very aware of Lonnie watching them. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Catra said, “but if you need me at all, just text me. And if you need to come back to my place at any point…”

“I know,” Adora said, and despite Catra’s girlfriend watching her every move, she pulled Catra in for a quick hug. “Thanks, Cat. I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“Yeah,” Catra squeezed her gently and then let go, “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later,” Adora smiled despite herself, and then turned and headed towards the school building.

It didn’t take her long to find Bow and Glimmer. They were with the rest of her friend group, including Adam, who immediately got up and pulled her in for a hug. Adora was so stunned by the action that she barely hugged back.

“You good?” Adam asked as he pulled back. “Dad told me he saw you but didn’t say where you went.”

“I was…” Adora paused, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Catra walking by with Lonnie, holding hands. She swallowed the jealousy she felt and said quietly, “I was with a friend. Everything’s okay.”

Adam looked her in the eyes, and seemed to believe what he saw, because he nodded and returned to Teela’s side.

“What was that all about?” Glimmer asked, eyebrows raised expectantly. She looked like she really wanted an explanation, and even though Adora was going to give her one, she still shook her head.

“Not here,” Adora said, “I actually need to talk to you and Bow.”

“Huh?” Bow turned around upon hearing his name, “what’s up?”

“I just need to speak to you guys privately,” Adora said, even though she hated it when people got cryptic like that with her, “come on.”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a glance, but they nodded and let Adora lead them to an empty classroom nearby. Once she’d closed the door and checked the supply closet in maybe a little paranoid of a way, she sat down on one of the desks and sighed.

“Okay,” Adora prefaced, about to just come out and say it, but then she remembered something that Catra had said and murmured, “wait, can I ask you something first?”

“Okay, not going to lie, I’m really confused right now,” Glimmer said, and she looked genuinely concerned when she asked, “Adora, are you okay?”

“I’m… fine, I think,” Adora answered, “just… are you guys bisexual? And if you are, why didn’t you tell me?”

They exchanged another glance again, like neither of them were sure about how to break the news to her. Like they’d decided telepathically, Glimmer was the one to tell her. 

“Um, yeah,” Glimmer said, “and I didn’t tell anyone, really. I just… stopped caring what people might think.”

It was the same thing Catra had said, and it made Adora feel a little better. At least, she didn’t feel like Glimmer hadn’t told her because she didn’t trust her. But then Bow spoke, and that comfort flew out of the window.

“I told people about me,” Bow said slowly, “not like, a whole big coming out thing or anything, but I did sit some people down and tell them. Like my dads, and Glimmer.”

Adora blinked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, honestly, Adora,” Bow said, “please don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes you seemed… kind of homophobic. And I know that it probably wasn’t your intention, because I figured that you might… have something else going on, but… yeah.”

He trailed off, and Adora sank down into one of the chairs next to her friends. She sighed, taking a moment to breathe before she answered calmly, “I guess I can’t blame you for that.”

“So,” Glimmer dragged out the word, looking at Adora expectantly, “what was that thing you wanted to tell us?”

“Well, I…” Adora paused. Despite how confident she’d felt when she got out of the car, she was still a little nervous. “I kind of realised that… that I’m gay.”

Neither of them looked surprised. Adora didn’t know what to make of that. But Bow smiled, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder.

“Thank you for telling us,” Bow said, “I know it’s a hard thing to do.”

Adora let out something like a laugh. “You guys totally knew, didn’t you?”

“We didn’t know anything,” Glimmer said, “but if we’re being totally honest… I mean, it’s super obvious that you’re into that Catra girl.”

Adora felt her throat knot. “Great,” she murmured sarcastically, wondering if Lonnie knew that too. 

“Catra… it’s not going to happen, and I’m accepting that,” Adora said quietly, “she’s happy, and I’m not going to ruin that for her. I’m happy just being her friend. But anyway, it’s not important. I just wanted you guys to know about me.”

“Honestly, this is kind of a relief,” Glimmer said, “you glaring at her and Lonnie because you’re jealous is way better than glaring at them because you’re homophobic.”

Bow nudged her and murmured, “Glimmer, we’re being serious right now. Moral support mode, not teasing mode.”

“No, it’s fine,” Adora sighed, “I’m trying to get a handle on the jealousy. It’s just kind of hard when the girl you’ve been in love with your whole life doesn’t love you back.”

She tried to say it as a joke, but it didn’t land right. Her friends just looked at her sympathetically, and Bow was the one to ask, “you’re really in love with her? It’s not just a crush?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “but it’s fine, really. I’m fine. We’re friends again and that’s more than I could’ve hoped for last year. She’s actually really helped me with all of this.”

“Okay,” Glimmer said, “but if you need to talk about your feelings or anything… you know we’re here, right?”

As Adora looked at her friends, she felt a weight lift off her chest. They were the last people she really needed to tell. Anyone else could find out however, she didn’t care, but she at least wanted to tell the people who were important to her.

“I know,” she answered, “thanks, guys.”

Adora managed to feel good for the rest of the day, despite the worry looming over her for later. She was worried about her mother, and what she might say when Adora got home. But instead of chickening out and finding Catra and going back to her place, Adora faced her fears.

At the end of the day, she got into her brother’s car and tried not to be too anxious for the drive home. Of course, it helped when she pulled up in the driveway and noticed that she had a text from Catra waiting for her.

Cat (3:57PM): i know you’re probably freaking the fuck out right now, but you’ll be okay. 

It was scary how a simple text message made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy, but regardless of that, it made her feel so much better. Or at least a little braver as she got out of the car and shouldered her overnight bag.

“Hey,” Adam said as they stepped onto the front porch, “it’ll be okay.”

It felt weird having her brother be a comforting figure in her life rather than the annoying TV remote hogger, but she appreciated it nonetheless. 

“Thanks,” she murmured, then took a deep breath and pushed open the front door.

Everything looked exactly the same as it had on Friday night when Adora had stormed out. She didn’t know why she expected it to be different. The television was playing in the lounge, and she could hear her mom in the kitchen, getting things ready for dinner later.

Deciding she might as well just face her now, Adora flashed one last awkward smile to her brother and walked into the kitchen.

“I’m home,” she said, and saw the way her mother tensed. She waited for her to say something, and honestly, Adora didn’t know what she expected.

“How was school?” 

Adora blinked in surprise at the question. She disappeared for an entire weekend after telling her homophobic mother she was gay, and that’s all she asked?

“Um,” Adora frowned, “it was fine.”

“Good,” Marlena said, “we’re having pasta for dinner.”

“Right…” Adora trailed off, and despite her better judgement, she asked, “so you’re just going to pretend like nothing happened, then? We’re just not going to talk about it?”

Marlena looked at her like she didn’t know what to do. Clearly, she took her time calculating her next move. But then she merely shook her head and said, “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

“Fine then,” Adora murmured, even though it stung, “I guess I know where you stand on things.”

Without giving her mother a chance to reply, Adora turned on her heel and left the room. She walked straight to her bedroom and closed the door behind her, laying down on her bed with a melancholic sigh.

She supposed it was better than her mom kicking her out and disowning her. She couldn’t deny that. But when she thought of the way Cyra treated Catra, her heart ached longingly. She’d known her mother would never be like that, but for her to just act like nothing happened and ignore it was a whole other beast.

She pulled out her phone and read Catra’s text again. You’ll be okay , Catra had written. Would she, knowing that her own mother could barely look at her?

Adora (4:04PM): Things went about as well as I thought they would. Looks like she’s just going to ignore it and act like nothing happened.

Almost immediately, Catra responded to her.

Cat (4:04PM): i’m really sorry adora

Cat (4:05PM): you know you can come back if you need to right?

As much as Adora wanted to just run away and hide, she knew she had to stand her ground. She wasn’t going to change, and her mom had to understand that. The only way to make her see that was to stay.

Adora (4:06PM): Thanks, but I think I’ll be okay. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me though. Thank your mom too.

Cat (4:06PM): it’s okay

Cat (4:07PM): despite how i felt about it at the time, i’m glad my mami helped you out that night

Adora’s stomach fluttered at the message, and despite everything, she smiled.

Adora (4:08PM): Me too ☺️

When Adora finished soccer practice at the end of the day and finally checked her phone after it had been left in her locker, she saw she had a missed call from Cyra.

Definitely not something she expected to see, and she was honestly a little concerned. Why would Catra’s mom call her? What if something had happened to Catra?

So, ignoring the team’s post-practice chatter about the different plays they were going to use at their next game, she immediately called back. When Cyra answered, she didn’t hesitate to ask, “is Catra okay?”

“Hello, Adora,” Cyra said, “Catra is okay. Better than okay, actually. I need you to do me a favour.”

“Uh… what?” Adora blinked, because a favour was the last thing she expected. “Okay… what is it?”

“Well, I know I shouldn’t have, but a letter from Harvard came in the mail today and I opened it. Catra got in,” Cyra said, and she sounded so proud. Adora was proud too, but she wasn’t surprised. Of course Catra would get in somewhere like that. “Anyway, I’m just setting things up for a little surprise party, and I need you to keep her distracted for a little while. She should still be at school, she stays afterwards on Fridays to study, but I’m running a little late on the setup and I don’t want her to get home too early.”

“Okay, yeah, I can do that,” Adora nodded easily, “I’m really proud of her. This is amazing.”

“I know,” Cyra said, and Adora could hear the smile in her voice, “she doesn’t know she got in yet, so don’t mention anything to her.”

“Of course,” Adora said, “text me once everything’s set up and I’ll bring her home.”

“Perfect,” Cyra answered, “thank you, Adora.”

Adora smiled. “No problem.”

She hung up the phone and immediately texted Catra, making sure she was still at school. If she’d set off home, then the whole plan would fly out of the window, and Adora didn’t want to wreck the surprise.

Catra (3:57PM): yes i am……… why

Adora (3:57PM): Great!! I’m gonna come find you in a few mins after I’ve showered off, where are you?

Catra (3:58PM): music classroom

Catra (3:58PM): you still haven’t told me why you need to see me

Adora rolled her eyes at her phone. Of course Catra would make things difficult.

Adora (3:59PM): Because I want to hang out with you obviously

Adora watched as the speech bubble popped up again, indicating that Catra was typing. Then it disappeared, and no messages popped up. She frowned, waiting, watching Catra typing again. Adora was admittedly nervous, but then the most mundane response possible came through.

Catra (4:00PM): okay

Catra (4:00PM): see you soon

Wondering why that had taken so long for Catra to write, Adora stuck her phone back into her locker and grabbed her shower stuff. She’d rinse off quickly and head to the music classroom as quickly as she could.

As she was getting dressed after the quickest shower of her life, another question popped into her head. 

Why had Cyra called Adora to distract Catra?

Why not call Catra’s girlfriend, which would be a much more obvious choice for distraction? After all, Catra wouldn’t question it if her girlfriend asked to hang out after school.

Whatever, Adora thought, Cyra probably knows I do soccer and that I’d be around after school to intercept Catra before she went home. That had to be the reason.

“Adora!” Mermista shouted from across the locker room. She was by the door, bag slung over her shoulder, ready to go. “Hurry up. We’re going to grab food now we’re done.”

“I can’t,” Adora called back, “got plans.”

“Really ?” Mermista smirked. “Plans with who?”

“A friend,” Adora answered, and that answer clearly didn’t satisfy Mermista, who opened her mouth to say something else. Adora beat her to it. “Catra got into Harvard so we’re celebrating.”

“Oh,” Mermista lapsed into her usual don’t care attitude, because clearly there wasn’t any juicy gossip to be found there, “whatever, then. See you later.”

Adora nodded in goodbye, made sure she had everything she needed out of her locker, and headed towards the music room. She didn’t run , but she did walk a little faster-than-average to get there. But when she did, she stopped in her tracks.

Catra was sitting on a desk, her back to the door. She was playing a soft, intricate little melody, and Adora was stunned at how amazing she’d gotten. Granted, Catra had three and a half years of practice since Adora had last heard her play, but that wasn’t what she was thinking about.

No, Adora was remembering the last time she saw Catra sitting there, the way things had happened, and she felt a shiver down her spine.

Except when Adora said, “hey,” Catra didn’t turn around with an angry glare. Catra stopped strumming and looked up, flashing a soft smile Adora’s way.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said, “what’s up?”

“Not much,” Adora answered, and she walked through the classroom door, “I just thought you might still be here when I finished soccer practice. Figured you’d be studying though, not goofing off.”

Catra snorted. “I am studying. Studying the art of a musical instrument.”

“I’ve learned that if you enjoy it, it doesn’t count as studying,” Adora said, and after a few moments of hesitation, she sat down on the desk next to Catra. “What’re you playing? Anything I’d know?”

“Nope,” Catra shook her head, “just messing around.”

Adora hummed in reply. After a few seconds of thought, she said, “teach me something.”

“What?” Catra raised her eyebrows. “Seriously? Since when did you care about music?”

“Hey, I like music,” Adora said, “I listen to it all the time.”

Catra laughed quietly, shaking her head. After a few moments, she pushed the guitar onto Adora’s lap. “Okay.”

“Really?” Adora asked, and Catra looked up from whatever she was searching for in her bag to look at her disbelievingly. “I didn’t think you’d do it,” Adora reasoned.

Catra laughed again, pulling a purple guitar pick from her bag. She held it out for Adora. “Here.”

Adora took it, and immediately went to strum, but Catra stopped her. “Wait, wait, you’re holding it completely wrong.”

Catra grabbed Adora’s hand and positioned the pick between her thumb and forefinger. Her hand lingered on Adora’s for a moment, like she wasn’t thinking, but then she quickly pulled it back. 

“Now you can strum,” Catra said, and Adora did, just once.

“Was that good?” Adora asked.

Catra nodded. “Go again, but keep strumming this time.”

Adora did, and after a few moments, Catra stopped her with a grin on her face and a laugh she was clearly holding back. “Okay, that was a little fast. Slow it down a bit, and you don’t need to strum so hard either. Try to do it in time with this.”

She grabbed an abandoned pen and tapped a beat on the table. Adora paused for a moment, trying to get a sense of the rhythm, and then strummed again.

After a few more beats, Catra grinned. “Nice. Wouldn’t have guessed you had rhythm.”

Adora kept strumming and shrugged. “I’m a woman of many talents.”

“Yeah, one of them being ‘owner of the world’s biggest head’,” Catra said, and Adora laughed, distracted. She fell off time, but determined to impress Catra, quickly got back on track.

When Catra shuffled a little closer, it almost threw her off. But Adora kept her composure, at least for a little while. 

Suddenly, the note - or more accurately, noise - coming from the guitar changed to an actual chord. Adora looked around in surprise, and saw that Catra had placed her fingers on the fretboard in the shape of a chord.

“Keep going,” Catra said, and Adora nodded, doing as she asked. A few bars later, the chord changed. And again. And again.

And then Catra started to sing.

“We were both young, when I first saw you…”

As Catra sang through the verse, Adora was thrown back to when they were kids, when Catra sang the very same song to her. She hadn’t understood what Catra meant back then.

Frankly, she didn’t understand it now, in an entirely different way.

Catra sang all the way through to the end of the first chorus, and when she finished, her hand slipped from the neck of the guitar, falling into her lap. Adora kept strumming belatedly, completely in her own head, but after a few more stunned moments, she collected herself and stopped.

Catra opened her mouth to say something, but Adora got there first.

“You’re incredible, Cat,” Adora said, passing the guitar back, “really. And you were back then too.”

Catra sat for a moment, thinking, but Adora noticed the light pink flush on her cheeks. Eventually, all that thought over what she was going to say turned out to culminate in a quiet, “thank you.”

Adora’s phone buzzed in her pocket then, and she pulled it out to read a text from Cyra that just said ready. She texted back and tucked her phone back into her pocket.

“We should get out of here before the janitors lock us in,” Adora said, “I’ll drive you home.”

Catra was contemplative for a few more moments, before she seemed to snap out of whatever funk she was in. She nodded, jumping up off the desk and putting the guitar back on its stand. “Okay. How was your practice, by the way? Did you… I don’t know, win?”

Adora laughed, despite the nervous feeling in her chest from whatever it was that just happened. “I won at the mini game we played towards the end. First goal wins and naturally I scored.”

Catra hummed, throwing a discarded history textbook into her backpack. Maybe she had been studying and just got bored. Not that Catra had ever really needed to study. Adora offered out the guitar pick that Catra had given her, but Catra just smiled and shook her head.

“Keep it,” she said, “as a souvenir from the first time you ever played guitar.”

Adora frowned. “Don’t you need it?”

“Nah, I’ve got a million guitar picks lying around,” Catra said, and then she laughed quietly to herself, “found one in a sock one time, actually. No idea how the fuck it got in there.”

Adora laughed, and she hoped that how much it meant to her didn’t show on her face when she slipped the guitar pick into her pocket. “Come on, let’s go.”

It was quiet as they left the music classroom and headed towards the main exit, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence at all. In fact, it was the complete opposite. Despite wondering why Catra had chosen to sing that song to her, Adora felt really relaxed. Catra had always had that effect on her, and Adora never fully understood how much she’d missed it.

Even though she already knew the answer, as they headed across the empty parking lot, Adora said, “you know, I’ve never asked you what your plans were after graduation.”

Catra raised her eyebrows, and the mischievous glint in her eye made it obvious she was planning on being annoying. “Go ahead and ask, then.”

“Uh, that was me asking,” Adora rolled her eyes, “that was a perfect segue for you to answer.”

Catra smirked. “I think you’ll find that that was a declarative, not an interrogative.”

“You’re such a dick,” Adora laughed, rolling her eyes, “fine. What are your plans for after graduation?”

Catra’s smile faded a little, which was weird, but then she just shrugged and said, “I don’t really know. College, I guess, like everyone else.”

Adora snorted. “Except not like everyone else, because you’ve probably applied to like, every Ivy League.”

“A few of them, yeah,” Catra said, and then swiftly changed the subject, “anyway, do you have any soccer games this year?”

Adora didn’t think she was really interested, but once they were in the car and she’d put it into drive she answered, “yeah. If we make it to nationals, the last game will be in early May. If we don’t, then… some time before then. But I’m confident that we will.”

Catra hummed in thought. “Do your parents go to your games?”

“My dad, mostly,” Adora said, and thinking about her mom soured her mood a little, “mom not so much. She’s been a couple of times, but..” she trailed off and shook her head, “Bow and Glimmer always come to watch, though.”

“Tell me when there’s a game on,” Catra said, “I’d like to come watch. If that’s cool.”

Adora blinked in surprise, and she blurted out, “wait, really?” before she could stop it. Thankfully, Catra didn’t take it the wrong way.

She just laughed, and out of her peripheral vision, Adora saw her roll her eyes fondly. “Yes, loser.”

Adora scoffed. “I won’t be a loser when you see me play. I’m legendary.”

“Legendary for being so modest, I’m sure,” Catra said sarcastically, “since you never talk yourself up or anything.”

Adora laughed. “I don’t need to be modest. Everyone knows I’m the best.”

Catra snorted. “Up for debate.”

“You don’t mean that,” Adora said, and once they pulled up outside Catra’s house, she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be coming in too. “Anyway…”

“Thanks for the ride, nerd,” Catra said, unbuckling her seatbelt, “want to come in for a little while? I’d offer you dinner but I’m getting the spices out tonight and I don’t want to kill your baby tastebuds.”

“Hey, I could’ve built my spice tolerance, you don’t know,” Adora said, even though they both knew that she hadn’t, “but sure. I’ll come in.”

She was invited, right? By Catra, who didn’t know there was a surprise party in there, and technically by Cyra, who made her act as a distraction. It would be fine.

Adora got out of the car, locked it, and followed Catra up the driveway. As Catra put her key into the door and unlocked it, she braced herself, and…

“Surprise!!”

Catra jumped, and let out the most adorable yelp Adora had heard in her entire life. Adora barely had chance to register the occupants of the house before Catra was turning around and punching her lightly in the arm.

“That’s why you were being such a weirdo,” Catra said, “couldn’t have warned me, could you?”

Adora laughed. “That would ruin the surprise part of a surprise party.”

“Wait, what’s this even for?” Catra frowned, this time turning on her mom. “It’s nowhere near my birthday and I haven’t done anything–”

“You got into Harvard, babe.”

Adora’s stomach knotted when she heard the voice. Lonnie. Of course Lonnie would be here, she was Catra’s girlfriend. Adora didn’t know why she hadn’t thought about that. She’d probably helped Cyra set the whole thing up.

“Oh,” was the only thing Catra said, and she didn’t immediately start jumping for joy like Adora expected she would. But maybe she just had to process.

“Oh, mija, I’m so proud of you,” Cyra practically gushed, rushing over to pull Catra in for a tight hug, “I shouldn’t have opened the letter but I had to know, I wanted to surprise you! I even made tres leches cake because I know it’s your favourite, but you can only have a little bit because I don’t want you to get an upset stomach–”

“Okay ,” Catra pulled back from the hug, and she was smiling, but there was something off about it, “thanks, mami. I’m really happy. I’m just—I’m just going to go to the bathroom if you guys want to cut the cake?”

“Okay, mija,” Cyra said, “hurry back.”

As Catra headed down the hallway and everyone else went into the lounge, Adora waited to see if she was right. She knew something was off, but when Catra walked into her bedroom instead of the bathroom, it just confirmed it.

She walked into Catra’s bedroom and met her best friend’s gaze. Catra looked up at her, surprised, and Adora voiced the thing she’d been thinking.

“You don’t want to go to college.”

Catra blinked and she looked stunned. “What?”

“Cat,” Adora said, “I know you. And I know what you look like when you’re lying. You’re not excited at all that you got into a school most people would kill to go to. And you’re putting on a front for your mom.”

Catra looked at her in shock. Like she was completely thrown by Adora figuring that out. And then she seemed to deflate and sat down onto her bed with a heavy sigh.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go to college,” Catra said finally, and then frowned to herself, “well, I don’t think it is.”

“Then what is it?” Adora crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to Catra. When Catra didn’t answer, she flashed a comforting smile. “Come on, you can talk to me. I won’t tell anyone.”

Catra hesitated for a moment, but finally she spoke. “It’s like–my mami has always had all of these expectations for me when it comes to school. I think it’s because she never got the chance to go to college, because she got pregnant with me in her senior year. So it’s almost like… like she’s making up for it through me, if that makes sense?” 

“I understand that,” Adora said, “but why don’t you just talk to her? Your mom has always been so supportive of you. If you told her you didn’t want to go, I’m sure she’d get it.”

“I just don’t want to let her down,” Catra admitted, “because she’s done so much for me, given up so much. I mean, she literally lost her own parents because of me. They wanted her to give me up, but she didn’t want that. They said that if she kept me, they would cut all ties with her, and she still went through with it. So if I have to give up four years of my life to get some degree I don’t want in some subject I don’t care about, then I will.”

“But that’d make you miserable,” Adora tried to reason, “and it could make you resent her. You have such a good relationship with your mom. You don’t want to wreck it.”

“But telling her could wreck it,” Catra answered, and let out another sigh. “It’s not even just her. Everyone expects me to go to somewhere like Harvard or Yale or whatever. You even said so yourself.”

“I was only teasing you,” Adora said, “I don’t expect anything from you.”

She meant it in more ways than just one, and she hoped that Catra knew that.

Catra didn’t seem to feel any better. She dragged her teeth across her bottom lip and shook her head. “I guess I just hoped that I wouldn’t get into any of the Ivy Leagues. If I didn’t get in, then I wouldn’t have to go. But now I have, so…”

“Okay,” Adora said, “what do you want to do? Since you don’t want to go to college. What is it that you really want?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to go to college,” Catra answered, “it’s just…” she hesitated, like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to say what she said next, “I applied for Berklee College of Music. I haven’t told anyone. That’s what I want to do. I want to study music. But I just know that even if she doesn’t say it to my face, my mami will be thinking that I’m throwing away my future because I’m not doing something practical, like… like law, or medicine, or something.”

Adora shook her head. “She won’t think that.”

“Adora,” Catra said seriously, “we’re talking about the woman who made me start school a year early. She will.”

“So… what?” Adora asked, “what if you get into Berklee? Are you still going to go to Harvard just to please your mom? Would you really throw away your dream for someone else’s?”

“It’s not like that,” Catra answered sharply, and then took in a slow breath. She shook her head. “I don’t have to think about that right now. I haven’t even heard anything from Berklee. They probably won’t accept me anyway.”

“Catra, come on,” Adora rolled her eyes, “you’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met. Of course they’ll accept you.”

“Yeah, well,” Catra laughed bitterly, “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, then.”

The subject seemed closed, and Adora didn’t want to push her. She reached out slowly, and put her hand on top of Catra’s, feeling that familiar spark pass between them. She wondered if Catra felt it too.

“Okay,” Adora said finally, “I won’t push you on this. But promise me that you’ll tell me when you hear from Berklee.”

“Fine,” Catra said, but she sounded reluctant, “I promise.”

Adora smiled knowingly, lifting her hand off of Catra’s and holding up her pinky. “Pinky promise. Because you know you can never break those.”

Catra met her gaze, and after a few moments, she smiled and rolled her eyes. “You know that’s not true, right?”

“It’s true in my book,” Adora said, and she held up her pinky right in Catra’s face, “come on, swear it.”

“Fine,” Catra laughed, batted Adora’s hand away from her face, and hooked her pinky in a promise, “I solemnly swear that I’ll tell you when I hear from Berklee.”

Adora tightened her pinky around Catra’s. “And that you’ll tell me if you got in or not.”

“And that too,” Catra added, and after a few moments, she unlooped her pinky from Adora’s and sighed. She glanced towards her bedroom door. “We should probably head back.”

“Probably,” Adora agreed, but before Catra could stand up, she threw her arms around her in a hug. Catra must’ve needed it, because she hugged back tightly and buried her face into Adora’s shoulder. “Whatever you decide, I’ll be happy for you. I just want you to be happy too.”

“I know,” Catra said into her shoulder, and then pulled back. Adora let her go reluctantly, and when Catra stood up, Adora did too. Catra paused in the doorway and flashed her a small smile. “Thanks. For listening, I mean. It’s kind of been eating me up inside, and I feel better now I’ve gotten it out.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adora said, “I’m always here when you need to talk.”

“Thanks,” Catra said, and then she turned to face the hallway. Adora heard her laugh quietly, and then she glanced back over her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get this madness over with.”

Adora nodded, following her down the hallway and back towards the lounge. As they walked in, she felt like she was being watched, and when she looked around, Lonnie was squinting at her, like she was trying to figure something out.

And then, likely unaware of the punch it sent right to Adora’s gut, she immediately grabbed Catra’s hand and pulled her down onto the couch next to her. “I’m so happy for you, babe,” Lonnie said, and very obviously pulled Catra even closer to her, “I know you must be over the moon. Now we just need to wait for my acceptance letter to come in.”

Accepting that this was the way it was, Adora pushed the painful feelings down and went to sit by Scorpia and Entrapta on the other couch. She avoided looking at Catra and Lonnie, and smiled gratefully when Cyra came back with cake and handed it out.

“Oh, come on, mami,” Catra said, rolling her eyes at the tiny sliver of cake on her plate, “what the hell is this?”

“I told you, I don’t want you getting an upset stomach,” Cyra said, but when Catra looked at her seriously, she sighed, “fine, fine,” she swapped plates with her daughter, “only because I’m so proud of you.”

Adora laughed to herself, knowing entirely too well that Catra would likely sneak into the kitchen and eat more later, consequences be damned. For someone who was lactose intolerant, she really liked dairy.

“Hey, Adora,” Scorpia said next to her, and Adora was thankful for the distraction from the Catra-and-Lonnie show across the room, “you don’t know if Perfuma’s seeing anyone, do you?”

“Uh…” Adora frowned, “Glimmer said she was talking to someone, but that’s as much as I know. How come?”

“Oh, uh,” Scorpia blushed slightly, “no reason, really.”

“Wait, do you like her?” Adora asked, and after a few seconds of hesitation, Scorpia nodded. “Oh. I don’t know if she’s into girls–”

“No, she is,” Scorpia said, and Adora blinked in surprise, because how many more of her friends were going to turn out some type of LGBT? “I just don’t know if she’s into me, you know? It’s so hard to tell.”

“I still don’t understand why you won’t just ask her,” Entrapta said, “seems a lot easier than all of this stress.”

“Because,” Scorpia said, and then didn’t bother elaborating. Instead, she looked back at Adora and asked, “have you ever told someone you liked them and they didn’t feel the same way? Because I can imagine it sucks.”

“Um,” Adora tried really hard not to look over at Catra, “yeah, I have. And it does. But I think you might have a shot with Perfuma if you asked her.”

“Yeah?” Scorpia asked, and she looked like she was maybe considering it. “I don’t know. I’ll at least try before we graduate.”

As Adora finished her cake, she accidentally made eye contact with Lonnie from across the room. And Adora didn’t have any doubt in her mind that Lonnie knew how she felt about Catra, because Lonnie immediately grabbed Catra and pulled her in for a kiss.

“Right,” Adora muttered, choosing to distract herself by taking a few empty plates through to the kitchen. Anything to get away from that.

She was washing up to save Cyra or Catra the job later, when she heard it.

“I know you like her.”

Adora turned around to face Lonnie. It would be so easy to hate her, Adora thought, but she was determined to be civil and honest because she knew that was what was best for Catra.

“Okay,” Adora said, and then added, “you don’t need to be so defensive about it. Catra is with you, and that’s not going to change just because she and I are friends again. You have nothing to worry about.”

Lonnie snorted. “Oh, I’m not worried. You really think she’d ever feel anything for you again after what you did to her?”

Oh, Adora thought. “So you know what happened.”

“Obviously,” Lonnie said, “and I think she’s an idiot for forgiving you, because I think we both know that once you really understand that you aren’t going to get what you want, you won’t settle for just being friends. You’re going to end up abandoning her again, and as much as I’ve tried to make her see that, she won’t listen. But I think you will.”

“That’s not true at all,” Adora said, wondering why the hell Lonnie was being so weird about it and making assumptions, “I’d never try to come between the two of you. Catra is happy with you, and that’s good enough for me.”

“Sure,” Lonnie rolled her eyes, “just do us both a favour and back the fuck off, okay? She won’t stop talking to you, but if you really care about her, you’ll leave her alone. She doesn’t need you. So I really think it’s best if you just leave.”

Lonnie stood there, arms folded, like she was expecting Adora to do just that. And frankly, Adora wondered if maybe she should. The protection angle was obviously bullshit; Lonnie was clearly threatened by Adora’s presence. But she doubted there was any tension like this in Catra’s relationship before Adora came back into her life, and that was what made her question things.

Maybe it would be best if she just left Catra alone.

“I don’t think anyone will be leaving,” Cyra said sternly as she walked into the kitchen with a couple more plates that needed to be washed, “and it’s definitely not your place to determine who does.”

Lonnie opened her mouth, spluttering some apology, all of her false bravado completely gone, but Cyra ignored her and brought the plates over to the sink. When she saw the clean ones Adora had washed, she smiled and rolled her eyes in a way that was so reminiscent of Catra.

“Adora, honey, you didn’t need to do that,” Cyra said, “you go sit down, I’ll finish up in here.”

Clearly annoyed by the difference in Cyra’s demeanour towards Adora, Lonnie huffed and left the room. Adora watched after her, and she wasn’t going to say anything, but Cyra did.

“Ignore her, Adora,” Cyra said, and Adora wondered how much she’d heard, “it’s not her place to determine who is and isn’t in Catra’s life.”

“Maybe I should back off,” Adora blurted out; she didn’t know what it was about Cyra that made her so easy to talk to, “I don’t want to cause any problems in Catra’s relationship, even if Lonnie is just being paranoid.”

“She would never say it, but I know that Catra is so much happier now that she has you back. You two always had something special,” Cyra said, and before Adora could overthink that, Cyra added, “so ignore that little bitch, okay?”

Adora was so surprised that she actually laughed. “You don’t like her?”

“No, but Catra does, so I put my feelings aside for her,” Cyra said, “she’s always felt very controlling to me, that’s all. The people Catra chooses to have in her life are her choice and her choice alone. And don’t forget that she’s choosing you.”

Not in the way I want, Adora thought, but she was okay with that. Lonnie was at least partially right; Catra would never feel that way about her again, not after how much Adora had hurt her.

“Okay,” Adora said, and then admitted, “I do think I’m going to go, though.”

Everything felt a little wrong, after that. And it wasn’t like getting into Harvard meant anything to Catra, so she didn’t think it would be rude if she left.

Cyra looked disappointed. “Don’t let her scare you away.”

“No, it’s not that, I just…” Adora paused, and admitted, “it’s hard to watch them together, that’s all. Just makes me remember that I was too late.”

Cyra smiled sympathetically. She didn’t look surprised, which made Adora think she probably already knew. She wondered if Catra had told her.

“Okay. Thank you for distracting Catra for me,” Cyra said, and after a few moments, she added, “and Adora… I don’t want to give you any false hope, but honestly… I’m not sure if Catra ever entirely got over you.”

Surprisingly, it didn’t give her any, because for once, Adora knew better. “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure she did.”

“I don’t know,” Cyra shrugged, “if she did, would she still have been so angry at you?”

Adora was still thinking about the words when she got home.

Despite getting invited to a party at Sea Hawk’s place, Adora had decided to have a lazy night in. Bow and Glimmer had bombarded her with texts, making sure that she was okay and wasn’t moping and cutting herself off from everyone again. Even Adam had double checked with her before he left to meet up with Teela before the party.

It was a little suffocating being at home with her mom, but Adora was fine hanging in her bedroom, catching up on Glee. She knew it was ultimate levels of cheesy, but Catra had gotten her into it purely for Santana and Brittany, and admittedly it had pulled her in.

She was just in the kitchen getting herself some snacks when there was a knock on the front door, and because she was close enough, she decided that she might as well make herself useful and see who it was.

Bag of chips in her hand, Adora pulled the front door open, and for some reason, she really didn’t expect Catra to be standing there. Even though they were friends again, it still took her off guard.

“Hey,” Adora smiled, something in her chest settling at the sight of her, “what’re you doing here?”

Catra didn’t answer verbally. Instead, she produced whatever it was she was holding behind her back, and whatever it was was apparently an envelope. Adora read the words printed on the front, and she grinned.

“Berklee,” she said, and Catra nodded, “come in. Are we celebrating?”

“I don’t know yet,” Catra said, and Adora realised as Catra kicked her shoes off that the envelope was still sealed. “I can’t open it.”

“You can’t?” Adora repeated, and when Catra nodded, she asked, “nervous?”

“Nervous feels like too small a word to describe how I feel right now,” Catra said quietly, looking down at the envelope in her hands, “I… will you open it for me?”

Adora knew how much Catra had riding on this. Probably more than Catra knew. If that envelope contained a rejection letter, Catra would resign herself to four years in college doing something she hated. If it was an acceptance letter, then it made things complicated, but Adora believed Catra would follow her heart in the end.

She so badly wanted it to be an acceptance letter.

“Okay,” Adora said, and as she took the envelope and led Catra to the relative privacy of her bedroom, she wondered intrusively why Catra hadn’t gone to Lonnie with this. Surely, if it were something this important, she’d talk to her girlfriend about it.

Adora pushed that thought from her mind - there was no time for it right now - and sat down on the edge of her bed. She waited for Catra to sit, but her best friend merely paced back and forth in front of her, clearly stressed.

“Actually, I changed my mind,” Catra said, “don’t open it, I don’t want to know that they rejected me.”

“They won’t have rejected you,” Adora answered easily, digging her fingernail under the envelope’s seal. “I’m opening it. Ripping the bandaid off.”

Catra looked at her with wide, anxious eyes, still pacing, but she nodded. “Fine.”

Adora took a breath and ripped the envelope open. The paper was folded inside, but there was something else in there, some kind of booklet. Adora knew immediately that what was written in the letter had to be positive. Why else would they send Catra more information about the school?

She unfolded the paper, and Catra stopped pacing, staring at her anxiously. “Well?”

Adora hid the smile that was fighting to show. She cleared her throat and read out loud, “Dear Miss Driluth, we are delighted to say that you have been accepted into Berklee College of Music– whoa!”

Adora cut herself off when Catra pounced on her. At first, Adora thought she was going for the paper, to see the words with her own eyes, but then she realised what it really was and wrapped her arms around her best friend, pulling her in for a tight hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” Adora said, “really. I knew you’d get in.”

Catra let out a relieved sigh into her shoulder, and it seemed like every ounce of anxiety she’d been carrying had been breathed out into the atmosphere. “God, you don’t know how happy I am.”

“Hey,” Adora pulled back slightly, but she still kept one arm around Catra’s shoulders, “fuck Harvard, alright? I don’t care if I have to kidnap you and physically take you to Berklee, but you’re going.”

Catra sighed again, this time a little different. “Yeah. No. I’m not–I’m not going to Harvard.”

“Does your mom know that yet?” Adora asked, and when Catra shook her head, she squeezed her gently. “She’ll understand, okay? I promise. And if she doesn’t, then I guess I have to kick her ass.”

Catra snorted with laughter, rolling her eyes and clearly fighting to hide a smile. “Please, my mami would destroy you.”

“I think I could take her,” Adora laughed, “but seriously, Cat, she’ll understand. All she wants is for you to be happy. And I know that this is going to make you happy. She’ll know that too.”

“Look, realistically,” Catra paused, like she wasn’t sure if she was going to say what was on her mind. But eventually, she shook her head and continued, “Realistically, I know she’ll be okay with it. Honestly, she’d probably be over the fucking moon. It’s–it’s me , really. I feel like I’ve already not met her expectations already, and this will just be the icing on the cake.”

Adora frowned. “Expectations? What do you mean?”

“Well, when you have a kid, you’re always going to have expectations about who that kid is going to be when they grow up,” Catra said, “and it’s like, every conventional expectation you could possibly have for a daughter, I’ve met exactly none of them. And when she gave up so much to have me… I feel guilty about that.”

“Okay, Catra, you’re basically any parent’s dream kid,” Adora said immediately, “you’re like, the smartest person on the planet. Every parent wants their kid to do well in school, and you’ve never found academia hard.”

“Fine, maybe I met quota in that aspect,” Catra muttered, “but I’ve never been feminine and wanted to wear dresses and go to fancy salons and stuff, and the whole gay thing doesn’t help. And now here I go taking a risk on something when I could go to one of the best schools in the country for a degree that will basically guarantee I’ll be able to look after myself and her.”

“What does being gay have to do with anything?” Adora asked, because Catra had glossed over that part too quickly for her liking. “Your mom loves you, and I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn’t insanely jealous of the way she’s reacted to that part of you. She doesn’t just accept it, she embraces it.”

“I know that,” Catra said quickly, “I know all of those things. Like I said, it’s me. I’ve never really…” she trailed off, and Adora waited for her to feel comfortable enough to talk, but all Catra said was, “if I tell you something, will you promise not to beat yourself up over it?”

Admittedly, that made Adora worry. Was it something to do with her? “Why would I beat myself up over it?”

Catra sighed. “Because you’re exactly like me when it comes to handling guilt.”

Adora knew that was true, but regardless of how she might feel after, she had to know. “Tell me. And I can’t promise a hundred percent, but I’m really trying not to internalise every little thing I’ve ever done wrong, so…”

“Okay,” Catra answered, and apparently that was good enough for her, “that day when we had that fight, right before we stopped talking… when you said I had a creepy crush on you. It really messed with my head. I already had a decent amount of internalised homophobia, just because I felt like I was so different from everyone else, but that made it a lot worse. I really… I really hated myself for it for a long time. 

“I felt like being gay made me wrong. Like it was the reason you’d started distancing yourself from me, and honestly, I spent so much time wishing I was straight or wishing I was dead, because either way at least I wouldn’t be gay anymore. And I think I internalised it all to the point where even though I know how much my mami accepts me, I still feel like I’m letting her down because I’m not the perfect, feminine, heterosexual daughter she probably imagined when she was pregnant with me.”

“I’m so sorry, Catra,” Adora said, barely above a whisper, because all her mind could think about was wishing I was dead over and over again, “really, I’m so sorry. I never meant it.”

Catra looked at her for a second, and there was a half-smile on her face. “I told you not to beat yourself up about it.”

“I know, I just–” Adora cut herself off and sighed, “I never thought you struggled with it. I figured you knew who you were and that was that, no problems.”

“I did tell you that I knew how much it sucked to go through it all,” Catra pointed out, “I’m mostly over the whole internalised homophobia thing, and I know I’m being dumb. But I think that’s why I’m so freaked out about the whole college thing.”

Wordlessly, Adora passed Catra’s acceptance letter to her. She knew that Catra was about to tell her to stop beating herself up, but that wasn’t what she was doing. She couldn’t stop thinking about that one thing Catra had said.

“Did you really wish you were dead?”

Catra was quiet for a moment, but eventually she nodded. “Yeah. It got really bad for a while. I sort of shut down after everything happened between us, and I bottled up everything I was thinking until one day I had a complete breakdown in front of my mami and I just… said it. I’d rather be dead than be like this. And typically she freaked out and took me straight to the doctor. Turns out I was depressed and moderately suicidal.”

Adora looked up. “Was?”

“Was,” Catra answered, and she reached out and took Adora’s hand, giving it a small squeeze, “I’m not saying I’m like, happy all the time, but nobody is. And I definitely don’t wish I was dead anymore. This is antidepressants and lots of therapy later, obviously. But I’m okay.”

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Adora wanted to say, but she knew that Catra would just roll her eyes and tell her not to worry about it. So instead, she pulled Catra in for another hug, and murmured, “I’m glad you’re okay,” into her shoulder.

“Better than okay right now,” Catra said quietly, and when she pulled back, she looked back down at the acceptance letter in her hands, “so… you mentioned celebrating?”

Adora knew that meant that the serious talk was over, so she nodded. “Obviously we’re celebrating. And since your mom isn’t here to yell at you for bullying your sad little lactose intolerant stomach… pizza?”

“Fuck yeah,” Catra smirked, “as long as you’re buying.”

“Duh, you don’t pay for your own celebration meal,” Adora rolled her eyes, “wait, don’t you need to tell people you got in?”

“You’re the only person who knew I applied, so,” Catra shrugged, “they can wait until after I tell my mami.”

That included Lonnie, Adora realised, but she wasn’t going to overthink that. Adora herself only knew because she’d clocked onto Catra’s bad mood about the Harvard thing.

“When do you think you’ll tell her?” Adora asked instead, “like, soon, or are you going to literally wait until the day you leave?”

Catra snorted. “As attractive as the second option sounds, no. I’ll get around to it at some point soon.”

Adora went to answer, but then there was a knock on her bedroom door, and it swung open immediately.

“Adora, who was at the–” Marlena started to ask, and then she saw Catra and her whole demeanour seemed to shift, “door,” she finished, and then smiled in a way that was very obviously forced. “Oh. Hello, Catra.”

“Hey, Marlena,” Catra said casually, like she didn’t see the stony look on Marlena’s face, “how’s it going?”

“Fine,” Marlena answered, and then looked to Adora, “Adora, can I have a word with you? Privately?”

“Um, okay,” Adora said, and she already felt tense. Catra shot her a look, and Adora knew that she was asking if Adora was okay. Adora merely grimaced in response as she followed her mom out of her bedroom.

Marlena shut the door behind her, and in a hushed voice, she said firmly, “I don’t think that this is appropriate.”

Adora frowned. She knew what her mom meant, but she played dumb. “Don’t think that what is appropriate?”

“You… spending time with that girl,” Marlena said, “it’s clear to me now that this is just a phase. A phase you’re having because you’re spending time with her again.”

“Okay, what?” Adora looked at her mom disbelievingly. “Do you seriously think I’d decide to be gay just because I’m friends with someone who is?”

Marlena sighed. “She’s always had a lot of influence over you–”

“No, she hasn’t,” Adora said firmly, “she’s my best friend, and I expect you to be polite to her when she’s here. Because she’s going to be here as much as I want her to be.”

Marlena gave her a look, the one that would’ve scared Adora as a kid. Now she didn’t care. “Don’t take that tone with me.”

“I’m not taking a tone, I’m standing up for myself and my friend,” Adora said, and remembered what Cyra had said to her the other week. “Who I want in my life is up to me. My choice, nobody else’s. Especially not yours.”

“I won’t have you doing… that kind of thing under my roof,” Marlena ignored her completely, “it’s not okay with me.”

“Fine, then,” Adora said, “kick me out, I literally don’t care anymore. Because me being gay isn’t going to change. Regardless of whether or not I’m friends with Catra.”

Marlena’s jaw clicked shut, and after a few tense moments, she muttered, “I’m not going to kick you out. You’re my daughter. I just want you to stop. You were happy with Sea Hawk, I don’t understand why–”

“I was bored to fucking tears with Sea Hawk,” Adora interrupted, “because I don’t like boys. Never have, never will. And you need to learn to live with it.”

She turned around and stormed back into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. In her anger, she’d almost forgotten that Catra was there, and she jumped when she heard a quiet, “everything okay?”

“Huh?” Adora blinked, and shook her head. “Not really. Just the usual homophobic bullshit.”

“Oh,” Catra said. She folded up her letter from Berklee and tucked it into her back pocket. “Want to get out of here?”

“Yes,” Adora said, “but I don’t know if I should. Feels too much like running. I want to stay, have a good time with my friend, and show her that I don’t care what she thinks.”

Catra smiled. It was one of those small, half-smiles she sometimes did, and Adora let Catra’s beauty distract her from the anger she was feeling. “You know, I’m actually pretty impressed.”

Adora found herself smiling too. It was a little weak, given the circumstances, but it was hard not to. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “that’s pretty badass. And I appreciate you standing up for me.”

“Oh… you heard all of that?” Adora cringed, “I’m really sorry about what my mom said, Cat–”

“It’s fine,” Catra assured her, and Adora could tell she wasn’t lying, “not like I haven’t dealt with homophobic people before. Thankfully, I enjoy making them incredibly uncomfortable, so I’m down to stay.”

“Thanks,” Adora smiled appreciatively, and decided to forget about her mom for the moment, “so, I’ll order pizza and then we can watch a few movies. I know it’s not much of a celebration, but you know…”

“Shut up,” Catra rolled her eyes, “it sounds perfect.”

“Okay,” Adora nodded, grabbing her laptop from where she’d left it and clicking out of the Glee episode she was watching. She ordered pizza, laughing when Catra asked for extra cheese, and once that was done, she put her laptop away and turned her TV on.

“How come you’re not out tonight?” Catra asked, and before Adora could ask her what she meant, Catra added, “I know there’s a party tonight. Figured you’d be there, to be honest, so I was surprised when you opened the door.”

“Didn’t feel like going,” Adora shrugged, “not because I’m upset or anything, I just couldn’t really be bothered. Why aren’t you there, if you know it’s happening?”

Catra snorted. “Our classmates are bad enough when they’re sober at school. Can’t imagine what they’d be like drunk.”

Adora hummed, and realised she hadn’t ever run into Catra at a party before. “Have you ever actually been to a party?”

“Nope,” Catra shook her head, “not interested. If I’m going to get drunk, I only do it around the people I trust, usually with video games involved. You know I don’t really like big social events.”

“Would you go to one with me?” Adora asked, and then kicked herself for doing it. “Obviously not tonight, but like… some other time. Just, you know, for the experience.”

Catra didn’t look all that interested, but she shrugged. “Maybe. Depends on the party, I guess. If it’s a fucking free-for-all, no. Maybe a smaller one though, if I felt like it.”

“Cool,” Adora said, and decided not to follow that up with well, Glimmer is having a little get together soon , “are your friends going out tonight?”

“Scorpia’s going to the party,” Catra said, “she says she’s going to make a move on Perfuma, but she’s also said that about seven times prior and not made a move, so… we’ll see.”

“She asked me about that, actually,” Adora replied, “wanted to know if Perfuma was already seeing anyone. I heard she was talking to someone, but I think that someone might actually be Scorpia. It’s funny, all of my friends are coupling off these days. I just need to figure out a way to push Bow and Glimmer together, because I’m sick of watching them stare at each other longingly all the time.”

“Wait,” Catra frowned, “they’re not together?”

“Believe it or not, nope,” Adora said, “they both like each other, but neither of them will say anything. It was funny at first, but now I’m like just fucking kiss already. ”

“Lock them in a closet or something,” Catra said, “and don’t let them out until they admit it. Then again, if you think they’re insufferable now, they’ll be even worse when they actually get together.”

“I don’t know, it’s one of those things where they basically act like a married couple, yet they’ve never actually kissed,” Adora said. Kind of like us when we were kids , but she didn’t mention that part. “Maybe they’re scared, in case they break up and it wrecks things. I’ve dealt with not talking to my best friend for years, and it fucking sucked.”

She didn’t know why she said that last part. But Catra just smiled that half-smile and said, “I know the feeling.”

Adora held her gaze for a moment, and found herself smiling back. Then, she grabbed her TV controller and asked, “so, movie?”

“Anything you want,” Catra shrugged, and when Adora nodded and started scrolling through the options, she added quietly, “thanks, by the way. For confronting me about the college stuff. Honestly, if you hadn’t known, I’m not sure if I’d have even opened the letter from Berklee.”

“Really?” Adora asked. “Why not?”

“I guess it just felt like some silly pipe dream,” Catra said, “having someone actually know about it, someone I could tell when I heard back, kind of… made it more real? Like I could actually do it.”

“Of course you could do it,” Adora smiled, “and hey, promise me one thing?”

“Sure,” Catra said, and then squinted suspiciously, “actually, depends on the thing.”

Adora laughed. “Just promise me that you’ll still talk to me when you’re a rich and famous musician.”

“Oh, hell no,” Catra laughed, “the moment that record deal comes through, I’m ghosting all of you irrelevant bitches.”

“Mhm, sure you will.”

“Adora, be a dear and go get me another drink, will you?”

“What am I, your drink slave?” Adora rolled her eyes, taking Glimmer’s outstretched cup. “What’re you on?”

“Vodka and coke, please,” Glimmer said, and there was already that slightly faded look in her eye, even though she was only one drink in. “Make sure it’s a double.”

“Fine, fine,” Adora said, pushing herself up and heading to the kitchen. It was nice to see her friends, but Adora figured she was going to need to make herself a drink too to deal with tonight.

She hadn’t partied in a while, and despite hanging out at Glimmer’s with the majority of her friend group not really being a party, it was nice to get out of the house. Especially right now, with the way things with her mom were. 

Marlena almost didn’t let her come tonight. At least if Adora was in the house, she wasn’t out doing gay things.

She was halfway through making two vodka cokes when her phone started buzzing in her pocket. Usually she’d ignore it whenever she got a phone call, but she pulled it out of her pocket to make sure it wasn’t one of her parents calling her. She’d get in trouble if it were, and her mom seemed to be looking for any excuse to ground her these days.

She looked at the name on her screen, registered the contact photo, and her stomach fluttered like it always did.

Catra was calling her.

They’d texted recently, obviously, but a phone call felt a little different. Unless Catra was just butt-dialling her, it meant that there was some reason she really wanted to talk to Adora. Catra voluntarily interacting with her still made her feel a little disbelief, after those years of thinking they’d never talk again.

Adora stepped away from her friends and out into the quiet hallway, finally answering the call. “Hello?”

“Adora?” Catra said, and immediately Adora knew something was wrong. Catra’s voice was shaky, like she was trying to stop herself crying. “Can you—are you doing anything right now?”

“Nothing important,” Adora answered immediately, “what’s wrong?”

“My mami—I just—I can’t be alone right now—” as if the words were the last boundary, Catra choked back a sob and mumbled, “can you come to the hospital, please?”

“I—yeah,” Adora said, agreeing without hesitation, “of course. I’ll be there soon. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“Um… yeah,” Catra said, and her voice sounded so shaky and scared and Adora was starting to fear the worst, “yeah, I don’t think I can handle just sitting here and waiting.”

“Okay, give me a second,” Adora pulled the phone away from her ear and quickly leaned around the door frame, shouting, “gotta go, emergency!”

She didn’t bother explaining, despite Glimmer’s loud, “if it’s not a we ran out of booze emergency, I don’t want to hear it,” and turned on her heel, rushing out of the front door. She was so grateful she hadn’t drunk anything yet.

Once she was safely in her car, she put her phone on speaker and turned the engine on. “Okay, what happened? It’s okay if you don’t feel like talking about it–”

“My mami,” Catra said again, cutting herself off with another anxious sob, “she–they just called me and said she was in an accident and I don’t know what’s going on and I’m kind of panicking and I just–I just need you.”

“I’m on my way,” Adora promised, again grateful that Glimmer’s place wasn’t too far from the town hospital, “I’ll be five minutes, and I’ll stay on the phone with you the whole time. I promise, everything is going to be okay.”

“But what if it’s not?” Catra’s voice cracked, and Adora’s throat knotted. “I can’t–I can’t lose her, Adora.”

“And you won’t,” Adora said certainly, “I know it’s hard to believe me, but… we don’t have all the information yet, right? They could’ve just called to get you to pick her up.”

“I don’t know why they haven’t told me anything,” Catra said, “what if it’s because they know it’s serious, and I’ll break down in the middle of their fucking waiting room?”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t just leave you in the waiting room to worry,” Adora reasoned, “when did you get there?”

“I–ten minutes ago, maybe? I don’t know, it’s all so fucking blurry,” Catra murmured, “I don’t know. Not long. Why?”

“Then the staff are probably just getting all of the information you need, and they’ll be with you soon,” Adora said, “hospitals are busy places. Mara and Hope have both told me how they’ve got a million different things to do every minute of every shift. Plus, they can’t have worried family in there while they’re still assessing the patient. It’d slow everything down.”

“Okay,” Catra breathed out, “okay, but why has nobody told me anything? Not even a tiny it’s not serious or it is serious.”

“Do they know you’re there?” Adora asked, “did you tell the people at the desk when you got there?”

“Yeah,” Catra sighed, and she sounded irritated when she muttered, “so what’s fucking taking so long?”

“Okay, I’m just pulling into the parking lot now,” Adora said, and she really hoped she didn’t end up with a speeding ticket after this. But it’d be worth it for Catra. “I’ll be with you in a minute. And I’m sure the doctors will be too.”

“They fucking better be, or I’m going to go crazy,” Catra answered, and after a few moments, she sighed and muttered, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called, I wasn’t thinking. It’s a Friday night, you probably have plans–”

“No,” Adora shook her head, pulling into the closest parking spot and getting out of the car as quickly as she could, “don’t say that. I’m glad you called. I’m here for you, okay? Any time.”

Catra was quiet on the line, and for a second, Adora thought she’d hung up. But then, finally, she murmured, “thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Alright, I’m coming in now,” Adora said, “be prepared for the biggest hug of your life.”

She saw Catra almost as soon as she said it. She was pacing by the back of the waiting room, and she looked so small and scared that it broke Adora’s heart. Like something told her Adora was there, Catra looked up. Adora ended the call, stuffed her phone in her back pocket, and rushed over to pull Catra in for a tight hug.

Catra gripped onto her like Adora was her lifeline, burying her face in Adora’s shoulder. She was shaking, because she was crying or just scared Adora didn’t know, but she held her as tightly as she could, just being there for her like she wasn’t for so long.

“It’s okay,” Adora murmured, “I’ve got you.”

“Thank you,” Catra whispered, “really.”

“Come on,” Adora pulled back, but not by much. She still had her arms wrapped around Catra’s waist, “let’s sit down.”

She led Catra over to some of the free chairs and sat her down, plopping down next to her. She didn’t even think about it when she offered out a hand, and it didn’t seem like Catra thought about it before she took it.

It was the first time they’d really held hands in years. They’d stopped doing that long before they stopped talking, and Adora didn’t understand why she’d ever avoided it. Holding Catra’s hand had always felt natural. When they were kids, they were always touching in some kind of way, and even though they were friends again, they hadn’t really crossed that boundary yet.

Funnily enough, neither of them had to think about it before they did.

“I know it’s the most cliche thing to say, but it will be okay,” Adora said, “even if it is serious. Your mom’s the second toughest person I know.”

Catra didn’t say much to that besides a quiet, “second toughest?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, “you’re the toughest. That’s how I know you’ll be okay, no matter what happens.”

“Glad someone has that confidence,” Catra muttered, looking up and scanning over the waiting room, “what the fuck is taking so long?”

“I’ll call Mara,” Adora decided, pulling her phone out of her pocket, “see if she’s working and if she can find anything out. It’s not fair that they’ve left you hanging like this.”

Catra squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

Adora flashed her a small, comforting smile, and pulled her phone from her pocket. She knew that Mara would pick up, even if she was working; she had Adora and her brother on bypass in case of emergencies. Adora was certain this classed as an emergency, so she pressed on Mara’s contact and called her.

It took four rings for her aunt to pick up. “Adora, everything okay?”

“Um, not really,” Adora said, “are you working? I’m at the hospital with Catra and her mom’s been brought in. Something about an accident? We don’t know much and I just need any information you can get me.”

“Of course,” Mara said, “I’ve got to finish up this next patient, but after that I’ll ask around, okay?”

“Okay,” Adora nodded, and when Catra looked at her questioningly, she tried to convey everything she could through a soft smile and a nod. “Thanks, Mara.”

“No problem,” Mara said, “I’ll find out what I can.”

Adora hung up and looked over at Catra, relaying what Mara had said. Catra nodded, looking over to the double doors in the distance, into the rest of the hospital. “At least I know someone is doing something.”

Adora could tell she was still insanely worried. She kept glancing around, staring down any doctor or nurse that walked by, her leg bouncing anxiously. Adora squeezed Catra’s hand, let it go, but then wrapped her arm around her shoulder and pulled Catra closer instead.

“She’ll be okay, Cat,” Adora said, “I know it.”

Catra bit down on her bottom lip, shaking her head. Instead of saying anything related to the crisis at hand, she sighed and said, “tell me something.”

“Tell you something?” Adora questioned, and Catra merely nodded in explanation. “Like what?”

“Something that’ll take my mind off things for a little while,” Catra said, and when she finally tore her gaze away from the double doors looming ahead, Adora felt those usual butterflies. 

She’d always thought Catra’s eyes were so beautiful. No matter how many times she looked into them, that thought never changed. They always took her breath away.

“Okay,” Adora paused in thought, “give me some kind of baseline, though. Might end up boring you otherwise.”

“Don’t think that could happen,” Catra said, and before Adora could dwell on that, Catra let out a laugh. It was small and weak, but it was there, and that was the main thing. “As weird as this feels to say to you, since there was a point in time where I knew everything… tell me something I don’t know about you. Preferably something embarrassing that I can laugh at.”

If any other pretty girl had asked her for an embarrassing story, Adora would’ve refused. No way was she going down that road with a girl she was attracted to, after all. But it was Catra, and Adora knew she’d never judge her for how embarrassing she was.

“Okay… the worst soccer game I ever played,” Adora prefaced, wondering for a moment if she should step into that territory, but deciding that Catra wouldn’t care, “it was actually the day I found out you were dating Lonnie. I hadn’t had my big gay realisation yet, and I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop thinking about it. We had a game that day, thankfully not a qualifier or anything, and I completely tanked it. Lost us the match.”

Catra hummed. “Lost the match how?”

“I took a soccer ball to the face because I was too busy being jealous and angry to notice it flying towards me,” Adora said, and Catra actually did laugh, “I got my ass into gear a little bit after that, but by that point it was too late. Other team was already two goals ahead.”

Catra chuckled slightly. “And how did straight Adora rationalise her jealous rage?”

“Oh, everyone has off days,” Adora quoted, and Catra snickered, “I got myself together for the next match, which was the important one. And I led my team to victory and got scouted for a soccer scholarship, so… not to brag or anything.”

“Where are you going, then?” Catra asked. “I mean, I’m guessing you’re going to take them up on the scholarship thing.”

“Boston University,” Adora shrugged, and she didn’t know what stupid part of her brain made her say it, “it’s a twenty minute walk away from Berklee, actually.” Because she totally hadn’t obsessively googled it.

There was a look on Catra’s face then, and Adora knew it well. A small spark of mischief, like she was plotting something. But then it was gone, dulled by the weight of the situation.

“I haven’t told her yet,” Catra murmured, looking back towards those big grey doors, “I kept wimping out, and now… what if I never get to tell her?”

Adora didn’t have a chance to say anything, because the doors ahead swung open and Mara came walking out. Catra jumped up immediately.

“Is she okay?” she asked, “do you know what’s going on?”

“She’s okay,” was the first thing Mara said, and it was crazy how Adora could see the fear slide away from Catra. She breathed a sigh of relief, and like it was the thing keeping her upright, sank back down into her chair.

Adora reached out and took Catra’s hand, squeezing it. “Told you she would be.”

Catra didn’t reply to her besides a grateful look and squeezing Adora’s hand in return. “What happened?”

“Your mom got into a car accident. She has a broken rib and a broken collarbone, but she’ll make a full recovery in a few months,” Mara said, “you can go in and see her now. The doctors say she can be discharged today, but she might need a bit of help at home for a little while.”

“That’s fine,” Catra said quickly, and she stood up, turning to Adora, “I’m going to go see her. Will you wait? I think we might need a ride home, and I’m still kind of freaked.”

“Yeah, of course,” Adora smiled, “go on. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” Catra said, “where is she?”

“Second floor, first ward,” Mara told her, and before she could say anything else, Catra sped off. Adora watched after her, relieved that both her and Cyra were alright, and she didn’t realise that Mara was still there until she coughed loudly.

“What?” Adora jumped, registering the amused look on her aunt’s face. She rolled her eyes. “Shut up. She’s not– we’re not… we’re just friends. And that’s okay.”

“I don’t know,” Mara shrugged, “you were the first person she thought to call. Anyway, I have to get back to work, but… remember that you and your brother both have a plus one to my wedding.”

Her aunt winked before she headed back to work, but Adora barely registered it. All she could think about was what Mara had said.

You were the first person she thought to call.

Why had Catra called Adora? Surely, if she were going to call anyone, she’d call her girlfriend, who was regrettably not Adora.

Why hadn’t Catra called Lonnie? Or maybe she had called Lonnie, but Lonnie didn’t come. But then why wouldn’t she come? She was Catra’s girlfriend. They’d been together long enough that they probably loved each other. 

I shouldn’t have called, I wasn’t thinking.

That’s what Catra had said. She wasn’t thinking. She probably just went to her contacts and pressed the first name she saw. Adora would’ve been pretty high on that alphabetical list. 

Adora knew that Catra would probably call Lonnie and get her to come over as soon as Adora dropped her home. As much as it hurt, Adora knew she couldn’t blame her.

Catra calling her hadn’t meant anything.

Obviously.

“Thank you so much for the ride, Adora,” Cyra said as they finally pulled up outside Catra’s house, “I appreciate it. And thank you for coming and stopping this one from going on a rampage in the hospital.”

“I don’t know,” Adora shrugged, “she was pretty close to going on one anyway.”

“Can you blame me?” Catra rolled her eyes, but she didn’t make a move to get out of the car. “Hey, mami, can I tell you something?”

Cyra raised her eyebrows. “What? You think because I’m injured I won’t ground you for doing whatever bad thing it is you’ve done?”

“No, it’s not like that,” Catra said, and then frowned, “or maybe it is if you really have a bad reaction, but… but I’m doing it and that’s final. I know you were really excited about Harvard and everything, but I…”

Catra trailed off, like she was losing the courage, and Adora flashed her a soft smile and nodded encouragingly. After a few moments, Catra sighed and admitted, “I applied to Berklee College of Music. And I got in. And I’m going. I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you want me to do, but I couldn’t turn it down and–”

“Ay, mija, no,” Cyra interrupted, “where did you get the idea that it’s not what I want you to do? I want you to pursue whatever makes you happy. If that thing is music, then I support you a hundred percent.”

Catra blinked, turning around in her seat and narrowing her eyes. “You’re not going to tell me I’m throwing away my intelligence to study something that’ll probably lead to nothing?”

“No,” Cyra shook her head, “because I know you, and I know that when you really want something, you work hard to get it. I’m really proud of you for getting in, and I’m proud of you for telling me.”

“But…” Catra frowned, “but you care so much about academia and everything. I mean, you literally made me start school a year early.”

“Oh, mija,” Cyra laughed, and then winced at the pain in her rib, “that was for the free childcare.”

“Of course it was,” Catra laughed quietly, shaking her head. “Thanks for being so understanding, mami.”

“I love you,” Cyra smiled, and then nodded towards the house, “let’s get inside. As comfortable as Adora’s car is, I’d rather be in my bed.”

“Yeah, okay,” Catra unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door, and Adora opened her mouth to say goodbye, but Catra got there first. Except what came out of her mouth wasn’t goodbye. “Help me get her inside?”

“Of course,” Adora didn’t have to think about it, because she was already turning the engine off and unbuckling her seatbelt. 

She got out of the car and carefully helped Catra take her mother to the front door, supporting her while Catra quickly unlocked the front door. She was grateful for the slow walking pace - more time with Catra, after all - but once they’d gotten Cyra comfortable in bed, Adora knew what was coming next.

“I’ll make you some tea,” Catra said to her mom, and as they left the room, Adora opened her mouth to say goodbye. But Catra completely surprised her. 

“Would you mind staying for a little while?” Catra asked, and Adora blinked in shock. “I know I’m not exactly alone and panicking anymore, but I’d appreciate the company. I still don’t feel great.”

“Yeah, of course,” Adora nodded, again wondering why Catra was choosing her, “if you want me to stay the night, I actually have an overnight bag in my car.”

Catra laughed quietly, “just, you know, like everyone does.”

“I was going to stay at Glimmer’s tonight,” Adora rolled her eyes, shoving her lightly, “her parents are out of town, so naturally she’s throwing a party.”

“You should go,” Catra said, and Adora shook her head quickly, “no, seriously, you should. I shouldn’t have dragged you away from your plans in the first place–”

“Don’t be dumb, Cat,” Adora rolled her eyes, “you’re more important than some lame party. So if you want me to leave, you’re going to have to physically make me, and let’s be real… I’d crush you in hand to hand combat.”

Catra scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Maybe that’s what I want you to think, but when the day comes that I actually have to fight you, I completely destroy you.”

“Maybe in fantasy land,” Adora said, smiling softly at Catra’s offended gasp and the light shove she gave her. “I’ll go get my stuff while you make your mom some tea, then we can watch some cheesy movie and take your mind off things.”

“Okay,” Catra nodded, and there was a look on her face, one Adora couldn’t really describe. Almost like she was seeing something amazing for the first time, though Adora didn’t know what. After a few seconds she smiled. “Go get your stuff, loser.”

Adora headed to the car with a smile on her face, one she didn’t even bother hiding. She was still grinning when she came back inside, even though it sucked to dump her things in the guest room.

When she found Catra again, she was just coming out of her mom’s bedroom, closing the door behind her. She’d already found the time to change into her pyjamas, and Adora laughed quietly at the Pokémon pyjama shorts.

“Not had much character development there then.”

Catra realised what she was talking about and rolled her eyes. “Shut up, they were a present from my mami.”

“A present that you clearly like enough to wear,” Adora pointed out, and she grinned at the embarrassed pink on Catra’s cheeks. “Let me get comfy and then we’ll put something on TV.”

“Uh, actually,” Catra said, “it’s kind of been a long day and I really want my bed.”

“Oh,” Adora blinked, and her stomach dropped uneasily, “you want me to go?”

“When did I say that?” Catra retorted quickly, and after a few unsure moments, she asked, “could we just… watch something on my laptop in there?”

It would be the first time Adora had properly hung out Catra’s bedroom in three years. Even when she’d stayed for that weekend, she never ventured in there, feeling like there was some sort of unspoken rule against it. And when she talked to her about the college stuff, it didn’t feel like a big deal. But now Catra was actively inviting her in. To share a bed, by the sounds of it.

It was probably a bad idea, with the way Adora still felt about her. But she couldn’t find it in herself to care. “Of course,” she nodded, “just let me get changed first, okay?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “any movie requests?”

“Whatever you want to watch,” Adora answered, “pick a comfort movie.”

“Okay,” Catra said, and after a few seconds, she smiled. It was a small smile, soft, and it made her look so beautiful. “See you in there.”

“See you in there.”

Adora couldn’t lie, she was nervous as she changed into her pyjamas and headed down the hallway to Catra’s bedroom. So nervous that once she got to the closed door, she didn’t know if she should knock or if she could just walk straight in. She spent so long debating on it and was about to raise her hand and knock when…

“Are you going to come in, or are you just going to keep lurking out there?”

Adora blushed, realised she’d been caught, and took a few seconds to compose herself before she pushed the door open. “Uh, how long have you known I was standing there?”

“Literally the entire time,” Catra rolled her eyes, “you have all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop.”

As she looked around the room, she finally took in how much had changed in the last three years. Gone was the cramped little single bed that Adora and Catra used to curl up in every other Friday night when they were staying here for their weekly sleepover. It’d been replaced by bigger, queen sized bed, pushed up against an opposing wall. The Pokémon sheets that she used to have were long gone too, replaced by simple white bedding that matched the cream walls.

Catra’s guitars were on the wall now. Guitars, plural. That first acoustic one Adora remembered her having when they were kids, plus three electric guitars that looked somewhat flashy and expensive.

“Your bedroom has changed a lot.” Adora observed, still standing awkwardly by the door. “I like it, though.”

“Yeah, well, we redecorated,” Catra shrugged, looking down at her laptop, picking a movie, “honestly, I was relieved to see you had too. I mean, if it was still covered in horse posters I think I’d have had to call some kind of horse girl helpline.”

Adora laughed quietly. “Would you call them if I said I still had them rolled up in my closet?”

“Literally the first thing on my to-do list tomorrow,” Catra said, and when she looked up, she smiled amusedly. “You can sit down, you know.”

“Right, yeah,” Adora said, still feeling a little awkward, but she moved forward and tentatively sat down on the bed next to Catra, “what did the grape say when it got crushed?”

Instead of looking at her like a complete weirdo, or frowning like where the fuck did that come from , Catra hummed. “I don’t know. What?”

“It didn’t say anything,” Adora said, “it just let out a little wine.”

Catra snorted, rolling her eyes. “That was fucking terrible.”

“Okay, you literally just laughed,” Adora said, “I know dad jokes are your favourite.”

“Oh, yeah?” Catra raised her eyebrows. “How do you know my tastes haven’t changed?”

“Again, return to the part where you just laughed,” Adora pointed out, and when Catra just rolled her eyes and grinned, she nodded to the bedsheets, “nice sheets, by the way, but I miss the Pokémon ones. You should put them back on, they’d match your pyjamas.”

“I don’t even own those anymore,” Catra laughed, “it’s literally a completely different bed.”

“I’m adding Pokémon sheets to your birthday present list, then,” Adora said, and when Catra laughed again, she shook her head, “you’re laughing, but I’m deathly serious.”

“I know you are, that’s why I’m laughing,” Catra said, selecting a movie and shuffling over to the other side of the bed. She pushed her sheets back, balancing her laptop on her stomach, and got comfortable. “Come on, get comfy. We’re watching Bridesmaids because I need a laugh right now.”

Instead of panicking about sharing a bed with Catra again, she just smiled, got in, and questioned, “what, my joke wasn’t good enough for you?”

“It was okay,” Catra admitted, “but I need more than that.”

“I’ve got plenty more where that came from,” Adora said, but she reached over and pressed play on the movie, “but I’m saving them for when you really need them. I’ll even give you five free joke coupons before you have to start paying me for them. Or I guess four, since you just used one.”

Catra scoffed playfully. “Only four? Damn, not even giving your best friend extra perks? I should kick you out right now.”

Adora’s stomach fluttered when Catra called her her best friend. As much as Adora was thinking it, Catra hadn’t actually said it since they’d started talking again.

“Fine,” Adora said, “just because you get best friend perks, I’ll give you two more on the house.”

“That’s a little more like it,” Catra said, and she pushed the laptop over to Adora, laying her head down on the pillows, “sorry if this is way out of line, but is it okay if… if I come over there?”

“Oh, like you want to swap sides?” Adora asked, because there was no way Catra was asking to cuddle her. “That’s cool.”

“No, dummy,” Catra rolled her eyes, but she was obviously embarrassed, because she couldn’t meet Adora’s eyes when she admitted, “like… cuddle. I kind of need it, but it’s okay if you–”

“No, no, that’s fine,” Adora said, maybe a little too quickly, “come on. You’ve had a long day.”

Catra hesitated. “I’m not asking because I–I just don’t feel good.”

“I know,” Adora nodded, even if it broke her heart a little, “come on.”

After another few moments of hesitation, Catra shuffled over, and Adora reached out an arm and wrapped it around her carefully. They fit together perfectly, like they always had, but Adora tried not to dwell on it. Catra didn’t ask for this because she had any kind of feelings for Adora. She was over it, Adora was too late, and that was that. But she couldn’t deny how right this felt.

“Okay,” Adora said, trying to maintain her cool as Catra threw an arm over her stomach and gripped onto her tightly, “let’s watch the movie.”

Catra fell asleep fifteen minutes in.

Adora couldn’t blame her. She’d definitely had a long day. But unlike Catra, Adora was wide awake. Wide awake, holding the girl she’d always wanted but could never have. She tried to focus on the movie, hoping that it would tire her out, but all she could think about was Catra.

At least, until Catra’s phone buzzed beside her.

It replaced the oh my god thoughts swirling around her head with a simple I wonder who that is , then she remembered that it was none of her business and it didn’t matter.

But the phone buzzed again, and Adora couldn’t help herself. Slowly, so she didn’t wake Catra, she reached over and grabbed it, completely intending on silencing it to shut it up until she saw the messages on the lock screen.

Lonnie (8:37PM): where are you? you’re late

Lonnie (9:01PM): wtf Catra are you actually fucking standing me up right now?

Lonnie (9:35PM): i’m so fucking mad at you right now you knew this was important to me

Lonnie (10:21PM): i can’t believe i lied to my parents for you and you don’t even care enough to text me back 

Lonnie (10:21PM): jesus christ i’m so fucking done

Adora stared at the messages on Catra’s lock screen and her brain went into overdrive. Catra had some kind of plans with Lonnie, important enough that her parents were involved in it. Something traumatic had happened to Catra, but instead of calling or even texting her girlfriend about it, she’d completely forgotten about her and called Adora instead.

What did any of that mean?

Of course, the trauma involved could’ve meant that Catra wasn’t thinking straight. Thinking on gut instinct rather than rationally, like she usually would. But she’d calmed down since getting home, surely she would’ve remembered oh yeah, I have a whole girlfriend who I had plans with tonight.  

Adora looked down at the sleeping girl in her arms, and despite how much she wanted her, she decided fuck it , and tried to help the only way she could think of. Thankfully, Catra’s passcode was still her mom’s birthday.

Catra (10:23PM): i’m so sorry, my mom got into an accident and we just got back from the hospital. she’s okay but she is hurt and i just got her home. i’ll make it up to you i promise. going to bed now it’s been a really bad day.

After that, she silenced the phone and pulled her own off the charger, plugging Catra’s in. She wasn’t sure how Catra would react to what Adora just did, but it was better for her, right? If she waited until morning - or whenever she finally remembered - Lonnie would have had more time to get even angrier with her.

Adora was only trying to help. The last thing Catra needed on top of today was an angry girlfriend.

She meant it when she said that all she wanted was for Catra to be happy.

Adora woke up in an empty bed.

It took her a moment to remember where she was.

Catra’s house. Catra’s bed. But no Catra.

They’d fallen asleep together; well, Catra had fallen asleep, and Adora had laid awake for hours holding onto her and overthinking everything. But she’d eventually fallen asleep, and honestly, after the long day Catra had had yesterday, Adora expected her to still be sleeping.

She wasn’t, though. The bed next to her was slightly warm, indicating that Catra had only just left, and the bedroom door was cracked open halfway. Adora could hear voices somewhere in the house, and if she listened carefully, she just about heard what they were saying.

“...look, I’m dealing with it, okay?” Catra was saying, “it’s just complicated.”

“I know,” Cyra answered, “and I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but it’s important that you listen to your heart.”

“Okay,” Catra snorted, “you’re just saying that because you don’t like her.”

“It’s not about who I like and don’t like,” Cyra said, “it’s about you and your happiness. Okay?”

“Okay,” Catra said again, but this time she sounded a little worn out. Apparently, whatever that subject was was now closed, because she sighed and asked, “do you want breakfast? I’ll make some omelettes or something.”

“That sounds lovely, mija,” Cyra said, “go wake Adora up. She might have places to be today and it’s already ten-thirty.”

Adora did have places to be today - well, a place - but Mara wasn’t picking her up for bridesmaid dress shopping until twelve, and any time she didn’t have to spend in her suffocating house was good time in Adora’s book.

But still, she pretended to be asleep when she heard Catra’s footsteps coming down the hallway. 

The bedroom light flicked on, and Adora cringed at it. Catra laughed her beautiful, musical laugh and said, “morning, sleeping beauty. Nice rest?”

It was completely sarcastic, but it still made Adora’s heart beat a little quicker in her chest. “Lovely until the rude wake-up call. You’re not much of a hostess, are you?”

“Nope, that’s my mami,” Catra said, “but I brought you some coffee, so I’m at least a B+ on the ranking system.”

“I don’t know, I think you’re still at a C,” Adora answered, “immediately burning my retinas with your bright-ass bedroom light knocked you down a grade.”

“Worth it for your reaction,” Catra said, and after a few moments of hesitation, she added, “I saw what you did, by the way.”

“Oh,” Adora sat up, taking the coffee from Catra, “are you mad at me?”

“No, actually,” Catra said, “kind of appreciative. I was supposed to go out for dinner with Lonnie and her parents last night and I completely forgot after everything happened. She would’ve just been more annoyed at me if you hadn’t texted for me, so… thanks.”

“No problem,” Adora answered, “that’s what best friends are for, right?”

Adora didn’t know if she was imagining things, but she swore that Catra looked at her a little funnily when she answered, “yeah,” and quickly turned away, “do you want some breakfast? I’m going to make omelettes.”

“Yeah, please,” Adora said, and with that, Catra was gone again.

She drank her coffee before she got up, and when she walked into the kitchen, Catra was at the stove, and Cyra was sitting at the kitchen table, already eating. Adora sat down and joined her.

“Morning, Adora,” Cyra said, and Adora could’ve sworn there was a smirk on her face when she added, “sleep well?”

“Yeah, thank you,” Adora said, “are you feeling any better today?”

“Not particularly,” Cyra answered, “didn’t help that I got yelled at for getting up by myself first thing this morning.”

“You need to rest,” Catra said, and even though she didn’t turn around from her cooking, Adora knew she was rolling her eyes, “I can take care of the house. It’s fine.”

“No, I won’t have that. We’re a team, here.” Cyra said, and when Adora deflated a little, she noticed instantly. “Are you alright, Adora?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just…I guess I just wish my mom was more like you,” Adora admitted, “not just with the good relationship you guys have. I mean, like… you accepted Catra without a second thought when she came out, meanwhile my mom can barely look at me anymore.”

“Those things come with time. She can change, you just need to give her that chance,” Cyra said, “I mean, I went to high school in the nineties and it wasn’t exactly the most gay friendly environment. And I didn’t exactly help with that.”

“Wait, what?” Catra spun around, frowning. “What do you mean?”

Cyra looked at her daughter guiltily, and then back at Adora. “Okay. I’m only telling you both this because I think Adora needs to see that there’s always a chance that her mother could change.”

“Telling us what?” Catra asked, and she looked upset. “Mami, tell me you didn’t do something to someone.”

“I’m not sure I can,” Cyra said, and Catra flipped the last two omelettes onto two plates, muttering something to herself, “but it’s important for both of you to know that people can change. Haven’t you learned that already, mija?”

She shot a rather pointed look over at Adora, and Catra rolled her eyes as she sat down and pushed a plate over to Adora. “That’s different. She’s gay, you’re not.”

Cyra shook her head. “No, but I still learned.”

“But that’s–that doesn’t make any sense,” Catra frowned, “you were fine with it when I came out. More than fine. And it was the same that first time I got brave enough to ask you if it was even possible.”

“Catrina, honey,” Cyra smiled softly, “I’ve known since you were four.”

“I– what?” Catra blinked. “How?”

“I mean, obviously I didn’t know for sure until you told me,” Cyra said, “but you were always very obsessed with Sarah Michelle Gellar in that live action Scooby Doo movie.”

Catra quite obviously blushed, and Adora laughed. “Hey, I can’t blame you for that. Buffy is definitely hot.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Catra rolled her eyes, “anyway, are you going to tell us what kind of homophobic shit you got up to in high school or what?”

“Language,” Cyra said, and it was answered with another eye roll, “but okay. I had a fairly big group of friends in high school. Mostly girls I met through cheerleading, and a few guys I met through your father. In that group of friends, there was this one girl. Honestly, if she hadn’t told one of my other friends, and that girl hadn’t told everyone else, I don’t think anyone would’ve ever guessed. Based on stereotypes, anyway. But she did tell someone, and that girl told us.”

“And you all ditched her?” Catra finished for her, and Cyra nodded. “I hope that was it.”

Cyra winced. “No. It’s no excuse, but it was a different time, and we thought it was wrong. We stopped being friends with her, and any time she passed by any of us, a few homophobic slurs were thrown around. And it wasn’t just our friend group who knew about it. When you’re that age, any gossip is interesting gossip, so we spread it around, not understanding the repercussions that might’ve had on her. I have to hand it to her, though; she never backed down or let the bullying scare her away. Never moved schools or anything, never let it bother her.”

“Outwardly, anyway,” Catra muttered, “that’s fucked up, mami.”

“I know, and I’m very sorry about it,” Cyra answered, “I guess you could say I got my karma when I found out I was pregnant with you,” she continued, and when Catra opened her mouth to say something, she quickly cut her off, “not because you turned out to be gay, before you go on a rant about that.”

Clearly Catra had been about to do just that, because she closed her mouth, paused for a few seconds, and asked suspiciously, “why, then?”

Cyra laughed. “Being the girl who got knocked up in senior year also wasn’t the best thing to be. Imagine how many times I had to hear the word slut shouted at me. Didn’t help that your father decided to be the pig that he is and didn’t want to be involved, and your grandparents followed soon after when I told them I was keeping you. And when I had you, and I held you for the first time, I knew that nothing on this earth would ever make me stop loving you,” she looked at Adora, “and that is why I believe, Adora, that your mother can change.”

Adora thought on it for a moment, but then she shook her head. “I don’t know. Surely if she could accept it already, she would’ve.”

“She’s allowed herself to be ignorant to it all these years,” Cyra said, “you just need to open her eyes. Show her how much happier you are now. Because if you’re happy and comfortable in yourself, how could that ever be a bad thing?”

Adora hummed in thought, and admitted, “to be honest, I have kind of been avoiding her since I came out.”

“I know it’s going to be hard for you to be around her when she’s been acting the way she has,” Cyra said comfortingly, “but you need to show her that you aren’t going to change, and that you’re proud of who you are.”

“Wait, but…” Catra frowned, “you said that you started thinking I might be gay when I was four. So how’d that go for you? Because acceptance is one thing, but you literally went to pride with me last year. I don’t think someone who just accepts it and moves on does that.”

“Actually, I spoke to Adora’s aunts when they were over there as I was dropping you off for a sleepover,” Cyra said, “they told me that they were together, that you kids didn’t know and not to mention anything or Marlena would get angry. And I mentioned that I thought you might be gay, and I wasn’t sure how to navigate it if you were, and if you did come out to me one day. They helped.”

“Oh,” Catra frowned, “alright then. I’m still disappointed in you though.”

Cyra laughed. “Oh, mija, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Well,” Adora sighed, “I don’t think my mom’s going to be attending any pride parades any time soon, but I guess I have to try, right?”

“And if she’s still a homophobic bitch, I’ll come over and really gay it up,” Catra said, “I’ll touch everything in the house and be like sorry, just got some gay on your favourite mug. Better be careful when you clean it, it’s contagious.”

Adora laughed. “As much as that would make me laugh, I wouldn’t want her to ban you from coming over.”

“Like that’d stop me,” Catra smirked, “oh my god, we should have a pride party in your house. Make it look like a rainbow threw up everywhere.”

“I can imagine she’d just do some mental gymnastics and say we’re having a rainbow appreciation party or something,” Adora said, and glanced up at the clock on the wall, “and on that note, I should get home, Mara’s picking me up at twelve. We’re going bridesmaids dress shopping today, actually,” and when Catra frowned, she added, “Mara and Hope are getting married.”

“Oh,” Catra brightened, “that’s amazing. Tell them I said congratulations.”

“Sure,” Adora nodded, and on a complete whim, fully aware that she was saying this in front of Catra’s mother, she added, “actually, you can come to the wedding, if you want. They gave me and Adam a plus one each. Didn’t really know who to ask, but I feel like you’d appreciate a gay wedding, so…”

Catra looked a little surprised, and Cyra looked… impressed, almost? Adora didn’t know what she was thinking, and she almost opened her mouth to rescind the offer completely when Catra replied.

“Yeah, okay,” Catra nodded, “sounds like fun, actually. Text me the details.”

Riding that high, Adora stood up and said goodbye to Cyra. As she pulled Catra in for a hug goodbye, she murmured into her ear, “Mara said there’s going to be an open bar,” and pulled back with a conspiratorial smirk. “See you later.”

Catra was grinning, and compared to how she was yesterday, it was a relief to see. “Cool. See you later, loser. And thanks for everything.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adora said, “I’m here for you. Any time.”

“Just send it!”

Adora hesitated, looking at the text on her screen, waiting to be sent into the ether. And then she locked her phone, shaking her head. “I can’t.”

“Come on, it’s not like you’re asking her out,” Glimmer said, “you guys are friends. Friends invite each other to things all the time. I invited you here and I’m not trying to get with you. And you said that she said she’d come to a party with you.”

“It just feels wrong,” Adora said, accidentally spotting Lonnie across the room with Kyle and Rogelio, and thinking back to the way she’d spoken to her, “I don’t think that Lonnie is comfortable with me hanging out with her.”

“Then Lonnie is a possessive weirdo,” Glimmer shrugged, “Catra should know that better than anyone, because she used to be one, as far as you’ve told me.”

“Don’t–don’t say that about her,” Adora defended Catra quickly, “she was a kid, it was different. And anyway, the whole situation is a little different. Catra is in a relationship with Lonnie, and Lonnie knows how I feel about her. I’d probably be uncomfortable too.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t be a bitch about it,” Glimmer said, taking a sip of her drink and surveying the room. The party had started to fill out a bit more, like Sea Hawk’s parties usually did. “Adora, you said you’d invited her as your plus one to your aunt’s wedding. That sounds way more like a date than ‘hey, there’s a party happening, want to come?’ Honestly, I’m just shocked you had the balls to ask her.”

“That was a completely impulsive thing,” Adora said, “it’s different.”

“She said yes, though,” Glimmer smirked, “I bet she still loves you.”

Adora didn’t think so. At least, not when she was thinking rationally. But when she was living in delusion land, sometimes she thought that maybe Glimmer was right. 

There was the way Catra had sung to her that day in the music classroom. The song choice couldn’t be purely coincidental, could it? 

There was how Adora had been the only person Catra had admitted the whole Berklee thing to. And she’d been the first person Catra came to when she’d heard back, even though at that point, she could’ve told anyone.

And the big one. Just like Mara said, she was the first person Catra had thought to call when she was scared and fearing the worst for her mother. That couldn’t just mean nothing, could it?

“I don’t know,” was what Adora actually said, “after how badly I hurt her, I don’t think she would let herself love me again, even if she could.”

“What was that thing you just said?” Glimmer pointed out, “you know, about Catra being possessive back then? She was a kid. So were you. You’re a grownup now, and you’ve changed a lot. You know who you are and you know what you want, and that was the main issue, right?”

“I mean…” Adora trailed off, considering Glimmer’s words for a moment. And then she decided to ignore the subject all together. “I’m going to get another drink. Maybe then I’ll be brave enough to text her.”

“Get me a vodka coke while you’re at it!”

Adora laughed and rolled her eyes, but they both knew she would. She pushed her way through some of her classmates who were already somehow into the messy drunk phase and got into the kitchen, making Glimmer’s drink first and then grabbing herself another beer. The one she already had had given her a warm buzz, but she didn’t feel like she was losing any of her inhibitions yet. 

The plan was that she’d have one more and go home, but she knew that once she had the one more, she’d probably end up staying for the rest of the night. But that was fine. It’d been a long time since she’d actually let herself go.

When she got back to Glimmer with the drinks, Bow had joined her, looking a little buzzed himself. Adora wondered if it could be an opportunity to smack some sense into them both, but she decided she wouldn’t meddle. Whatever they did, that was up to them. 

Somehow, she ended up roped into a game of truth or drink. Adora tried her best to blend into the background, but eventually, someone decided to pick on her. Thankfully, she’d hit tipsy and was cracking open another beer on her way to drunk when it finally happened.

“So, Adora,” Mermista wiggled her eyebrows, “I think we’ve all heard the recent revelations…”

Adora snorted into her can of beer. “Are you asking me if they’re true?”

“No, we know they are,” Mermista said, “I want to know… have you kissed a girl yet?”

Adora could just drink, but she didn’t think it was such a big deal to answer. “Yeah. Long time ago, though.”

Perfuma beamed, actually looking genuinely happy for her. “Who was it?”

“That’s two questions,” Adora said, “and I think if you look in the truth or drink rulebook, you only get one. And now it’s my turn, so, Perfuma… anyone you’ve got your eye on right now?”

Perfuma blushed bright red, and Adora noticed the way her gaze flicked over to Scorpia, who was sitting on the opposite side of the circle. “Maybe. Just waiting on them to make a move. Scorpia, what about you? Are you interested in anybody?”

“Oh, gosh,” Scorpia was blushing as much as Perfuma now, “I think you already know.”

“Is that what you call making a move?” Perfuma asked, laughing softly. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

There were a few giggles and whoops from people as Perfuma stood up and offered a hand out to Scorpia, and the two of them headed out together.

Adora smiled into her drink, but she couldn’t help but feel a little odd in the pit of her stomach. She was happy for them, it was just… it sucked knowing she wouldn’t be getting anything like that any time soon. Not when she was still so hung up on Catra.

“I think I’m done playing too,” Adora said, and she got up and brushed herself off.

Mermista smirked at her. “Scared we’ll ask you who that girl was?”

“Oh, I know you’ll ask me,” Adora answered, “and I don’t want to have to chug this beer, so… later.”

She ignored her friends’ disappointed ribbing as she left the room, deciding to get a little bit of a breather before she threw herself back into the whole party thing. She pushed her way through some dancing drunk cheerleaders and flopped down on the couch. The booming music didn’t quite help her organise her thoughts, but despite the lack of quiet, she still had a little peace.

She’d planned on sipping her beer and observing for a while, but that plan flew completely out of the window when the couch sank down next to her, and she looked up to see Catra.

For a second, she thought the other girl was a drunken mirage, and on some kind of primal instinct, she reached out and poked her.

“I’m not a ghost, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Catra smiled at her fondly, and Adora felt something stir in her chest, “hey.”

“Hi,” Adora answered, and sobered up a little, “sorry that I poked you. I wasn’t thinking.”

Catra nodded to the beer in Adora’s hand. “I’m guessing that’s not your first one?”

“Nope, more like third,” Adora said, and then asked the question she desperately wanted a particular answer to, “what exactly are you doing here? I know you don’t like parties.”

“Did you come to see me?” was what Adora really wanted to ask. It wouldn’t have been that hard for Catra to deduce that Adora would be here. But Lonnie was here somewhere too. It wasn’t so outlandish that Catra’s girlfriend had asked her to come to a party.

“Scorpia texted me, told me she was getting cold feet about asking out Perfuma again and wanted me to pick her up,” Catra said, “you haven’t seen her, have you?”

“Oh, uh,” Adora masked her disappointment with a laugh, “she actually already left. With Perfuma.”

“Huh,” Catra blinked, looking surprised, “well, I would be pissed that she made me leave my house for nothing, but good for her. Guess I’ll head out, then.”

“Or you could stay,” Adora said, just as Catra was about to get up, “isn’t it like, a rite of passage for childhood friends to get drunk together at some point?”

Catra raised her eyebrows, but she didn’t make a move to leave. “Never heard of that one. I can’t though, I drove here.”

“Oh,” Adora said, and she knew she sounded as disappointed as she felt, “that’s okay then. Drive–”

She was about to tell Catra to drive safe, but typically, a drunk Glimmer flopped down on the couch next to them and grinned. She punched Adora in the arm in a way Adora thought was meant to be playful, but Glimmer was drunk enough that it was more like a real punch. 

“Hey!” Glimmer said as Adora rubbed her arm, “you actually invited her! I’m proud! And hey,” she smirked and winked rather obviously, “I’ll give you some privacy.”

She got up and staggered away, and the three beers that Adora had drunk had done nothing to soften the embarrassment of that.  

But Catra didn’t comment on Glimmer’s last insinuation. Instead, she just smirked and asked, “you were going to invite me?”

“Uh… yeah,” Adora admitted, “not for, you know, any reasons other than just to hang out, but you said you’d maybe come to a party if I invited you sometime, and I just thought… but anyway, I… yeah.”

Catra was still smirking, but she didn’t look like she was going to leave anymore. “I guess I could hang out for a little while. Observe the neanderthals in their natural habitat.”

“Hey, I’m not a neanderthal,” Adora said, and when Catra shot her a disbelieving look, she laughed, shoving her lightly, “shut up.”

“Fine, fine,” Catra said, “I guess you’re one of the few people here not on the list.”

Adora smiled, and she bumped against Catra lightly. She was glad she hadn’t had a fourth beer, because holding herself back from touching Catra was more of a challenge than she would’ve liked. She decided to change the subject to something safe.

“How’s your mom doing, by the way?” Adora asked. “Feeling better, or…?”

“Well, you know her,” Catra shrugged, “not going to let a few broken bones stop her from doing what she wants. Actually, can you drop by at some point? She bought you some flowers and a card as a thank you, and even though I figured you’d probably be here, I wasn’t about to walk into a high school party with a fucking bouquet.”

Catra rolled her eyes fondly as she said it, and Adora laughed. She was going to tell Catra that she thought it was sweet, but someone interrupted them.

“What the hell are you doing here with her?”

Both Catra and Adora turned around and looked up, where Lonnie was standing, looking unimpressed. Adora glanced at Catra, and wondered how she’d take this frosty reaction. 

“I came to pick Scorpia up,” Catra said slowly, “I didn’t even know you were here.”

“Shows how much attention you pay, then,” Lonnie said irritably, “I told you I was coming out tonight. I asked you if you wanted to come. You said no, and then I find you here with her.”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Adora,” Catra said, and even though it was the truth, it still hurt to hear. “I wouldn’t do that to you. You know I wouldn’t, and I’m sick of you constantly accusing me.”

“So the we need to talk text you sent me has nothing to do with her?” Lonnie asked, and Adora’s brain immediately went wait, what? But that was glossed over so fast she barely had a chance to react. “What am I supposed to think? Like, okay, fine, you’re friends with her again even though you told me yourself how in love with her you were, and how much she hurt you. Whatever, that’s your choice. 

“But then I find you here with her when you told me nothing could make you come to a high school party. I find out that you told her about Berklee before anyone else, and she convinced you to go, even though our plan was to go to Harvard together. And the worst part?” Lonnie continues, “your mom was hurt, and you called her. You didn’t even think about me.”

Catra blinked, tensing next to her. “How did you find out about that?”

“I heard your mom on the phone, telling one of her friends that it was so sweet of Adora to come and help you,” Lonnie said, “you didn’t even try to call me. And then you lied to me about what really happened. So what else have you lied to me about, Catra?”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d freak the fuck out, like you’re doing right now,” Catra snapped, and then she paused and took a breath, “you’ve been so weird about Adora, even though there’s nothing going on. I’m allowed to have friends, and at the end of the day, I’m with you. I… I care about you.”

“You can’t even say that you love me,” Lonnie said, and Catra closed her mouth and tensed, “but you’ve never had any problem saying you loved her.”

Catra didn’t say anything to that. She looked at Lonnie irritably, folding her arms across her chest.

“I’m sorry, Catra, but if you want to be with me, I can’t have her around,” Lonnie finally said, “you and I both know what she wants from you isn’t friendship, and you’re not helping. It’s her or me.”

Catra went completely still. Her eyes widened, and she looked right at Adora, right into her soul, and Adora knew what she had to do. She hated the fact that she’d drank, because she could never really articulate on a good day. But she did what she could.

“Lonnie,” Adora said, and tried to get past the look of pure hatred Lonnie sent her, “I’m sorry. You two would be fine if it weren’t for me, even though I would never, ever do anything intentionally to come between you. So, you’re right. I’m going to go.

“Cat…” Adora looked at her now, and she couldn’t read the look on Catra’s face at all, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for coming in between things and ruining them because I was too selfish to let you go. But I’m doing that now. After all, when you love something, you set it free, right? So–I… I’m sorry.”

She got up to go, to walk out of Catra’s life again, to lose the best friend she’d ever had for the second time. But then a hand grabbed her wrist, and Adora jumped, turning around again.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Catra said, looking at Adora like she’d gone completely insane. “No. No, you’re not leaving. She is.”

Adora and Lonnie sounded equally shocked when they said simultaneously, “what?”

“You know, you actually picked the perfect time to do this,” Catra said slowly, looking right at Lonnie with an anger in her eyes Adora had only witnessed once. “That thing I needed to talk to you about later? I was going to break up with you, and you don’t know how fucking guilty I felt about it. But honestly, thanks for making this so much easier.

“You don’t get to decide who I have in my life,” Catra said firmly, and then she cast a glance over at Adora, “neither of you do,” and then she looked back at Lonnie before Adora could say anything to that, “I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. And I did care about you. But it’s not up to you to tell me who I can and can’t see, or blame someone else for my choices. None of this is Adora’s fault.”

“Things were fine before she came back into your life,” Lonnie said, “why wouldn’t I blame her?”

“Because it’s not Adora’s fault that I didn’t feel like I could talk to you about Berklee, or think to call you when I was panicking,” Catra said, and even though she sounded calm, she looked upset, “that’s on me. And you. You’ve never liked it when I do something you don’t agree with. But you can’t control me, and I can’t… I can’t give you what you want. So I think it’s best if you just go.”

“Fine,” Lonnie muttered, and Adora saw the hurt in her eyes, “if that’s how it has to be.”

She turned on her heel and stalked away, and Adora saw her grab a bottle of something that looked a lot like liquor on her way out. She recovered quickly, and realised that Catra was still holding onto her wrist, like she thought Adora was going to walk away.

“Are you okay?” Adora asked, sitting back down quickly, “you didn’t have to do that for me–”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Catra said, and she sounded angry, “just–what the fuck was that? You could walk away from me that easily? After everything?”

“Catra, no, it wasn’t like that!” Adora said desperately, because Catra was getting up, like she was going to leave. She grabbed onto her hand. “I was just–I was trying to help. I told you I didn’t want to come between you and Lonnie, and look what happened! I thought if I backed off then–”

“Then what?” Catra snapped, pulling her hand out of Adora’s. “It isn’t up to you or up to her to decide who I want in my life. That’s my choice, and my choice alone. And the fact that you were so prepared to just walk away…” she cut herself off, shaking her head, and Adora could’ve sworn she heard her mumble, “I can’t believe I thought…” before she was talking again. 

“I’m going,” Catra said, turning away from her, “I can’t… I can’t look at you right now.”

“Catra, wait,” Adora jumped up, reaching out for her, “can we just talk about this?”

“No,” Catra finally looked at her, and she didn’t look angry. She just looked hurt. “We can’t. Just–just leave me alone for a while. I need to think.”

As much as Adora wanted so desperately to talk things out, she knew she needed to respect Catra’s wishes. The burning questions in her mind were nothing compared to Catra’s feelings.

“Okay,” Adora said quietly, “okay.”

“Thank you,” Catra answered, and after a few moments, she added quietly, “this isn’t–I’m not–I just need some time before I can talk to you.”

She didn’t give Adora a chance to reply before she was walking away.

Chapter Text

It had been a week of radio silence from Catra before Adora finally broke and talked to someone about it.

It took her about that long to figure out who to talk to about it. Her mom was a no, for obvious reasons, her dad and brother would try their best but likely wouldn’t help much, and she wasn’t sure if she could deal with Bow and Glimmer’s brand of ‘actually trying to help featuring jokes about how hopeless she is’. 

So exactly a week after the party, with a hollow feeling in her chest, Adora showed up on Mara and Hope’s doorstep with a large pizza and fries and the hope that they’d listen to her girl problems.

“Adora, hey,” Hope opened the door, “what’re you doing here? Everything okay at home?”

“I’m not showing up here hoping to move in, if that’s what you’re asking,” Adora said, but the humour in it was missed thanks to her bad mood, “I just… needed someone to talk to.”

“Come in,” Hope smiled, “Mara’s just on her way home from work. And I’m hoping that pizza is to share, because I haven’t exactly put the stove on yet.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, “compensation, I guess. For listening to my girl problems.”

“Girl problems, huh?” Hope asked, “go sit down, I’ll get all of this plated up and then we can talk.”

“Thanks,” Adora murmured, and she realised just how tired she felt as she finally sank down onto the couch. Emotional turmoil wore you out, apparently.

Once Mara had arrived home, Hope brought the plates through, and Adora finally filled them in on everything. Including the part where her friendship with Catra was in ruins yet again.

“...and now she’s mad at me,” Adora finally finished, “and it’s not like I don’t get why, it’s just… can’t she see that I was only doing it because I cared about her and wanted her to be happy?”

“Maybe - and bear with me here because this is a wild concept - you being in her life makes her happy,” Hope said, “think about it, if you had a girlfriend who wanted you to stop spending time with Catra, would you?”

“No,” Adora said, without even thinking about it, “she’s my best friend. But I could understand why the girlfriend would maybe feel uncomfortable, with all that history.”

“So you would be okay with letting Catra walk away?” Hope asked, “just so you could stay with a hypothetical girl who is clearly a little controlling?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, “I wouldn’t be okay with that at all. And that’s why she’s mad at me. Because to her, it looks like I just gave up. Like I didn’t want her, when that’s not…” she paused, and wiped at her eyes; they were getting too watery for her liking, “how do I fix it?”

“Catra asked for some time apart, right?” Mara asked, “I’m sure she’ll contact you when she feels better.”

“I don’t know,” Adora admitted, “she’s stubborn. Way too stubborn for her own good,” she managed a tiny, fond smile, “and she always avoids the things she doesn’t want to deal with.”

“Okay,” Mara said, “give her a little more time. And if it’s still silent, send her an olive branch. Something small, like a text. That might prompt her to open up without being pushy.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Adora said, picking at the slice of pizza on her plate, “it’s just–I miss her. How did I go three whole years without her when I can barely manage a week?”

“I don’t know,” Hope answered, “but I want you to have made up by my wedding. We’ve already booked the extra place for your plus one.”

Adora managed a quiet laugh. “Even if she does come, it won’t be like that. She wouldn’t feel like that about me again. Not when I keep messing up and hurting her.”

“Catra loves you, Adora,” Mara said, and when Adora snorted in disbelief, she rolled her eyes fondly, “I don’t mean in that way. But when you’ve known somebody for as long as the two of you have, been close to somebody for that long? There’s a deep bond there. There’s not many people out there who can claim to have had a ten-plus year friendship at your age.”

“I guess so,” Adora sighed and shook her head, “I just hope she reaches out.”

Another week passed, and Catra didn’t. 

Adora saw her passively, in the hallways at school. She thought it’d be easier to see her around without Lonnie clinging onto her hand, but it really wasn’t. Even when Catra would send her an awkward smile before rushing off whenever they made eye contact. At least it was better than the glaring or complete blanking from a year ago.

So, on Friday night, Adora took Mara’s advice.

Kind of.

(A text felt impersonal, okay?)

She knocked on the front door, a grocery bag full of supplies in her hand, and hoped to god that Catra wouldn’t slam the door in her face. That would feel far too familiar in all the wrong ways.

When the door finally swung open, and Adora came face to face with her, Catra didn’t slam the door at all. She just stood, waiting, as Adora struggled to think of something to say.

“Um… hi.”

If she was surprised to see her, Catra didn’t show it. She looked tired; she was in her pyjamas, her wild hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. Adora thought she looked so beautiful.

“What are you doing here, Adora?”

Catra was surveying her with that x-ray gaze like she knew everything Adora was thinking. Or at least that she was trying to find out.

“I was hoping that we could talk,” Adora said, “I miss you. It’s okay if you need more time, I can go. I just wanted to… reach out, I guess.”

After a few agonising moments, Catra nodded. “Okay.”

She moved aside to let Adora in, and Adora stood for a moment, shocked that it had been that easy. Three years ago, trying to communicate with Catra had always felt like communicating with a brick wall. Now, she was here. She was willing.

As Adora kicked her shoes off, she asked, “is your mom home?”

“Out for drinks with the putas from work, despite the fact that she only just got her cast off, and she doesn’t even like them,” Catra said, “she won’t be back until late.”

Adora wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Cyra had always been good at helping Catra sort through whatever messy thoughts she was dealing with, so she would’ve been a good mediator. But then Adora thought that this should be done privately.

It was probably for the best.

She followed Catra into the lounge, and watched as she sat back down, pulling a blanket around herself. The television was on, but paused on an episode of Adventure Time, and Catra had a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

Adora stood awkwardly in the doorway, and Catra looked up at her.

“You wanted to talk,” she said, “so talk.”

Adora took a breath and nodded, sitting down on the couch. She chose to put herself at a slight distance, not wanting to make Catra uncomfortable. She placed the grocery bag on the table next to the popcorn bowl, and noticed Catra looking at it curiously.

“Okay, first…” Adora said, “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place at all to get involved or make your choices for you. And I wasn’t trying to make you feel like I could drop you that easily. Leaving you would–it would break my heart. I only tried to do it because I thought that being with Lonnie made you happy, and I didn’t want to ruin that for you. Hurting you was never my intention.”

Catra looked at her, like she was searching for something. And then, she merely said, “okay.”

Adora blinked. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Catra nodded, “I appreciate you coming to explain, but I’ve been thinking a lot, and I realised that you didn’t mean to make it sound the way it did. I was actually going to call you later.”

“Oh,” Adora knew she looked surprised, “sorry, it’s just… I thought you were really angry at me.”

“I was, at first,” Catra said, “I thought I meant more to you than that, and the way that you were so ready to walk away… that hurt. But then I thought about it, and I talked to my mami, and I realised you weren’t doing it because I didn’t mean anything to you. You were doing it because I did.”

Relief washed over Adora like a tidal wave. She felt a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, and after a few moments, she asked, “can I hug you?”

“You can always hug me,” Catra said, and Adora didn’t hesitate to pull her in. Into her shoulder, Catra murmured, “I’m sorry I kind of shut down and ran. I know you were probably freaking out about it.”

“I was,” Adora admitted, and Catra hugged her a little tighter before she let go, “but it’s okay now. I just–I lost you once. I swore I’d never do that again.”

“I’m trying to work on not being completely unresponsive when conflict happens,” Catra said, “I don’t know if I’m doing any better at it, but… I was going to call you. Once I stopped being so stubborn.”

“I believe you,” Adora smiled, and after a few moments, Catra smiled back.

“So… I have to ask,” Catra looked at the bag Adora had brought, “what’s with the groceries?”

“Oh,” Adora said, and she pulled the bag towards them, “well, I… I brought breakup essentials. In case you were upset about Lonnie.”

Catra raised her eyebrows and laughed. “You didn’t need to do that. I’m fine.”

“You were together for over a year,” Adora said, and because she’d never felt comfortable enough asking before, she added quietly, “didn’t you–didn’t you love her?”

Catra went silent, and she looked like she wasn’t sure if she could answer, which was really an answer in itself. But then she admitted, “no. I liked her, and everything was great when we first met, but then… I guess it started getting too real.”

Adora frowned. “What do you mean?”

“She heard my mami talking about Harvard and started talking about how she was applying too, and about how great it would be to live together,” Catra said, “and it really freaked me out. Not just because there were more people expecting me to go there, but because it felt like she knew what she wanted when I was completely lost.

“And then you came back, and she started getting weird with me,” Catra continued quietly, “asking me if I’d been with you and questioning my loyalty to her. She outright demanded to know if I loved her and I couldn’t answer because I didn’t. I liked her, and I cared about her, but I didn’t love her. Maybe I could’ve in time, I don’t know, but sometimes it felt like she was giving me some kind of deadline to say it.

“I’d been thinking about a lot of things, wondering if I could ever feel that for her, and even if I could, it still wasn’t right to stay with her,” Catra said, “she was already there, and knew what she wanted from me, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted that stuff. So even if things hadn’t happened the way they did, I was going to break up with her. Anyway, it wouldn’t have been right for me to stay with her when I–”

Catra cut herself off abruptly, shaking her head. Adora’s heartbeat picked up in her chest, a silent hope she wasn’t sure how to voice.

“When you what?” Adora asked quietly, surprised she was brave enough to say it.

Catra looked up, and met her gaze for a moment. Then she laughed humourlessly and said it.

“It wouldn’t have been right for me to stay with her when I kept thinking about you.”

Adora’s heart felt like it stopped. She looked at Catra disbelievingly, like there was no way she’d actually said it. Catra looked right back at her, and after a few moments, she let out another defeated laugh.

“Come on,” Catra said, “you can’t tell me you haven’t even thought that I might…”

“I thought it,” Adora admitted, “I just didn’t think you’d ever–after the way I hurt you, I thought you’d do anything you could not to feel that way about me.”

“Yeah, well, I did,” Catra replied, “and here we are anyway. I mean, do you know how fucking annoying it is? I thought I was over you. Three whole years of working through it all and finally feeling like I was past all of that, and all it took were a few months of being friends with you again to put me right back where I started.”

“Uh…” Adora wasn’t sure what to say to that, “I’m sorry?”

Catra let out a sigh that sounded more like a laugh than anything. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. Besides, it’s not like it’s hopeless, unrequited pining anymore. It just made things really complicated, and I kept feeling so guilty about it because I felt like I was almost cheating on her, you know? When I kept thinking about you and I’d feel the way I used to. But I did care about her, and I did have feelings for her, even if it wasn’t love yet.

“So I spent a long time thinking about it. Dealing with everything I was thinking about you, and everything I was thinking about Lonnie, and I knew I couldn’t keep ignoring it because it wasn’t fair to either of you. Wasn’t even fair to me. But I think my general okayness about the whole breakup gives me a clear answer about everything.”

“So…” Adora didn’t want to get her hopes up, “what are you saying?”

Catra had literally just admitted that she had feelings for Adora again. That something had happened to reignite that spark that had always been there between them. But the way she was talking, she almost sounded pissed off about it.

“I’m not–I don’t know if I can do anything about it right now,” Catra said quietly, “I’m still processing how I feel about it. Is that okay?”

“That’s okay,” Adora said, and despite her disappointment, she smiled, “whenever you’re ready. I’m patient.”

Catra laughed. “You absolutely are not.”

“Hey, you don’t know,” Adora shrugged, ignoring the fact that she’d gone so crazy without Catra that she’d just shown up on her doorstep at least three times in her life. “Maybe I’ve changed.”

“You have,” Catra said, “but not like that.”

Adora smiled, and after a few moments, she reached out and took Catra’s hand, squeezing it gently. Catra stared down at their hands for a moment and then finally squeezed back.

“So,” she said, and it was clear that the previous subject was closed for now, “what’s in the bag of goodies? You know, since I’m so torn up and heartbroken.”

She was still holding Adora’s hand, and Adora felt a warmth in her chest that she hadn’t felt for so long. She managed to delve into the bag with one hand just so she didn’t have to let go.

“Okay,” Adora prefaced, “we have a twenty piece box of nuggets, plus some fries, and then I went to the grocery store and bought chocolate and candy and some dairy free ice cream.”

“Ugh, dairy free?” Catra rolled her eyes, “couldn’t have given me the good stuff while my mami is out?”

Adora laughed. “No. My logic was that if your heart is already hurting, you don’t want your stomach to be hurting too.”

“My stomach might hurt, but my tastebuds would be loving their lives,” Catra shrugged, “anyway, pass me the nuggets. Did you get sauce?”

“Barbecue and buffalo,” Adora said, because she knew those were always Catra’s go-to sauces as a kid.

Catra grinned and grabbed the buffalo sauce, and unfortunately, she let go of Adora’s hand to do it. “Nice.”

As Catra started eating, Adora said quietly, “Hey, Cat? Whatever you figure out, or decide… it’s okay. All I ask is that you’re honest with me when you figure it out.”

Catra hesitated, and after a few moments, she looked up and met Adora’s gaze. There was a soft smile on her face, one that Adora hadn’t seen directed at her since she was fourteen years old.

“Of course,” Catra said, and held out her pinky, “swear on it.”

Adora smiled, looping her pinky around Catra’s for a second, before letting go. “Okay. That’s all I need to know for now.”

After finishing off a nugget, Catra flashed her a soft smile. “I’m glad we’re finally being honest with each other, at least. It’s funny how when we were kids, I’d tell you everything, except anything I felt or thought about you.”

“Yeah, well, we grew up,” Adora said, grabbing a nugget for herself before Catra polished them off, “though, I think I’ll always regret not knowing how much you meant to me back then. We could’ve been three years in, by now.”

Catra shook her head. “I don’t think we would’ve been. Actually, I think things would’ve been worse.”

Adora frowned. “Really?”

“Well, yeah,” Catra said, “you were a scared kid, and you definitely wouldn’t have been comfortable being out and proud for a long time. And I got crazy jealous all the time, so I don’t think I would’ve been okay with keeping it a secret, for lack of a better term. We would’ve crashed and burned, and never spoken to each other again. I think we kind of needed the time apart to grow up.”

Adora knew she was probably right. But still, it was nice to think that some hypothetical version of fourteen year old Adora could’ve had her shit together enough to have returned Catra’s feelings back then. 

“I know you’re right,” Adora said, “it just sucks that I missed out on you for three whole years. Even just as friends.”

“I try to look at it as a blessing in disguise,” Catra answered, and then she laughed quietly, “anyway, when did you even realise you liked me? Like, last week? I would’ve been hopelessly pining for a few more years, and I think we both know how much that hurts.”

“It wasn’t last week and you know it,” Adora rolled her eyes, “it was last year when I finally realised how much I loved you. Actually, it was that night I was here, when your mom found me and felt bad for me.”

Catra shrugged. “That checks out. Still, I was way ahead of you.”

“Wait,” Adora said, and realised she didn’t actually know, “when did you realise?”

Catra hesitated, like she wasn’t going to answer. But like she’d remembered that they were being honest, she joked quietly, “do you mean now or then?”

“Both,” Adora said, “but mostly then.”

“Well, for now…” Catra started, and then let out a quiet laugh that was more like a sigh, “honestly, I’d been ignoring it since we started talking again. Actively blocking it out, especially when I caught myself slipping. But then you dropped everything to come and help me when my mami was hurt, and that’s when I realised I was done for, that it wasn’t just some fleeting attraction that I could get over.”

Adora nodded. “And back then?”

“There wasn’t really a specific moment, I don’t think,” Catra said, “I think I really became aware of it when you started talking about kissing boys and I realised that the only person I wanted to kiss was you. I’d had a few feelings that I might be gay before that, when everyone started talking about certain boys being cute or whatever. I didn’t even know what being gay was, and I thought there was just something wrong with me. But I think I always knew that the only person I wanted to be with was you.”

The butterflies that seemed to permanently reside in her stomach whenever she was with Catra decided to flare up, and Adora knew that she was blushing. And then she did something very, very stupid.

“Do you want to go to prom with me?”

Catra’s gaze snapped up to hers, and Adora was quick to add, “you know, not like a date, or, well… I’d like it to be a date, but I know you’re not ready for anything like that, and… I guess I just meant that–do you want to go with me… as friends, for now. But then if anything changes and you want it to be a date too then… then yeah, like a date. I’m really not trying to pressure you, I just kind of blurted it out because I was thinking about that time that–well, I think–you asked me to the winter dance in middle school and I didn’t even realise you were asking in that way and–”

“Are you going to come up for air any time soon?” Catra asked, and when Adora finally looked at her again, she was smirking.

“Um…” Adora purposefully took a breath and tried to explain calmly, “I just… I meant that we can go as friends or… you know, the other thing, if you were comfortable. But you don’t have to tell me right now.”

Catra hummed, and that fucking smirk was still on her face, and Adora knew she was going to be difficult. “And this isn’t just a friend thing until a boy you like asks you?”

Adora rolled her eyes. “Are you really going to hold that over me?”

“Yup,” Catra answered, “just so you know, if I ever kiss you, it’s definitely not me practicing for boys.”

“Oh my god,” Adora groaned, “will you just answer my question?”

“And if you ever ask me to marry you, I’m going to double check that you’re not just practicing so I’ll know what it’s like when my future husband asks me.”

Adora huffed. “Alright, I get your point now.”

“And on my wedding day–”

“Catrina,” Adora did her best impression of Cyra and was impressed when it shut Catra up, “knew that would work.”

“Wow, full-naming me, that’s cold,” Catra smirked, and after a few moments of Adora looking at her expectantly, she laughed, “okay. I’ll go to prom with you.”

Adora didn’t know if she would like the answer, but she asked anyway, “as my…?”

Catra smiled then, really smiled. “We’ll see when we get there.”

Adora found herself smiling back. “Okay. That’s good enough for me.”

It didn’t feel like anything changed, but it definitely did.

At school after their talk, Adora fully expected things to stick to the same status quo. She’d see Catra around school sometimes, occasionally exchange a smile or a hey in the hallway, and mostly just see each other outside of school like usual.

Catra seemed to have other plans, however.

Adora was attempting to study for her history midterm in the library, muddling through the hefty paragraphs in her textbook to try and make flashcards. But because she was already frustrated about the test, and the grades she needed to keep her scholarship next year, her brain wasn’t cooperating.

She was about to slam the textbook closed and give up, but then the chair next to her was pulled out, and Catra sat down with a quiet, “hey, Adora.”

Like it was her body’s natural reaction, Adora relaxed when she met Catra’s gaze. “Hey. What’re you doing here?”

“It’s a library,” Catra said rather obviously, “so I’m clearly building a car. Got my blowtorch in my bag and everything.”

“Ha ha,” Adora rolled her eyes sarcastically, “very funny.”

Catra smirked, but then it faded into a real smile when she shrugged and said, “honestly, I just saw you when I was walking by and you looked kind of stressed. So what’s up?”

Adora heard the unspoken question in there. Is it because of me? But it wasn’t. Frankly, Catra was now one of the few stress-free things in her life.

“History is what’s up,” Adora glared daggers down at her textbook and then nodded at the mostly blank flashcards she was trying to make, “I’m not good at remembering the dates of everything, so I was going through this to try and make some flashcards for easy quizzing, but it’s just–not a great day in that department, I guess.”

She expected Catra to apologise, leave, and let her get to it like the rest of her friends would. But Catra just hummed thoughtfully and grabbed the textbook and the blank flashcards. “Okay,” she said, “get your notebook out. Write down every single fact you can think of from the topic so you’ll see that you actually know more than you think you do, and I’ll make these. Then I’ll quiz you on them.”

Adora blinked. “Wait, what? You can’t, you’ve probably got your own homework to do or something…”

Catra shrugged. “Never stopped me from helping you before, did it?”

“That’s different,” Adora reasoned, “we were in the same classes before, so it was indirectly helping you too.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Catra laughed quietly, “all I was planning on doing this lunchtime was goofing off playing guitar, and I’m already pretty great at that, so…”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “You need to practice guitar to be a badass at Berklee.”

“I’m already a badass,” Catra shrugged, “besides, I’ll probably sit and play until I go to bed when I get home tonight. Stop being stubborn and let me help. Seriously, I couldn’t live with myself if I found out you flopped your test after this.”

“Fine,” Adora sighed, “if you insist.”

Catra smirked. “Almost sounds like you want to get rid of me.”

“Of course I don’t,” Adora said quickly, “I just didn’t want you to feel like you have to help me. Don’t want to look like I’m–”

“Using me for my brains?” Catra finished for her, still smirking. “Don’t worry, I know you are. That’s why I’m not offering to sneak into the office after your test and change your answers for you. Now get your notebook out and start writing out the stuff you know.”

“Fine,” Adora said, and she leaned down and pulled her notebook from her bag, “I’ll return the favour at some point.”

“Buy me dinner and we’re fine,” Catra said, and Adora looked up from her notebook with wide eyes at the blatant, obvious flirting. Catra smirked at her again, and then nodded at the blank page in front of Adora. “Get to work.”

Adora stared down at her notebook in alarm as Catra pulled the textbook towards her and started jotting down questions and answers on the flashcards. After a few moments, she took a breath, shook her head, and got to work.

Catra had been right about one thing; when Adora stopped stressing, she realised she knew more than she thought. She had almost an entire page of notes in front of her when someone that decidedly wasn’t Catra cleared their throat, and she looked up.

It took Adora a second to place the girl in front of her. She was a senior, like Adora and Catra were. Tall, blonde, and insanely buff. It was Huntara from the wrestling team. Adora barely knew her but had seen her in passing at a few parties.

“Hey,” Huntara said, looming over Adora in a way that felt vaguely threatening, “what’s up, Gray?”

“Oh, um,” Adora glanced over at Catra, who was watching the two of them carefully, “nothing much, just studying. Did you… want something?”

“Yeah,” Huntara said, “heard you’re into the ladies now. Was wondering if you wanted to go out.”

Well, Adora thought, and she really looked at Catra then. To anyone else, she probably wouldn’t have shown any type of feeling other than indifference, but Adora noticed the way Catra’s jaw tensed. She was jealous.

“Um,” Adora started, because she’d never actually had to shoot anyone down before, “no thank you.”

Huntara raised an eyebrow, and it didn’t help with how threatening she felt. “Why not?”

“I’m kind of–” Adora paused, not knowing how to word it. She was literally single and could go out with Huntara if she felt like it, but she really didn’t. She didn’t want to go out with anyone that wasn’t the girl next to her, who was glaring down at Adora’s history textbook. 

“I’m kind of seeing someone,” Adora finally settled on, “sorry.”

Huntara didn’t look like she’d ever been shot down before; probably because she was so scary. She folded her arms across her chest and muttered, “whatever, then,” before finally turning around and leaving.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Catra said quietly, “you didn’t have to say no to her if you didn’t want to. It’s not like you’re not single.”

“I did want to say no to her,” Adora said, “you know there’s only one person I want to go out with.”

Catra looked up from the textbook, and she seemed thoughtful. But then she smiled softly and said, “okay,” then laughed and added, “so… you’re seeing someone, huh?”

“Well, yeah, it wasn’t a lie,” Adora shrugged, “look. My eyeballs are seeing you right now. That’s how they work, Cat. Thought you were supposed to be smart.”

“Shut up,” Catra rolled her eyes, “you know what I meant.”

“I mean, I could’ve straight up told her that I’m in love with you,” Adora said, “that also wouldn’t have been a lie.”

Catra really smiled then, but she rolled her eyes again, this time fondly. “Really turning on the charm, huh?”

“Obviously,” Adora shrugged, smiling, “it’s you.”

Catra grinned, and then she reached over and grabbed Adora’s notebook. “Let me check your notes. Flashcards are all done.”

Adora nodded, and she watched as Catra checked over the notes she’d made with a warm fizzing sensation in her chest. It was that feeling that made her ask, “do you want to do something on Friday night?”

She expected Catra to make it difficult for her, or at least be a little annoying and tease her for asking. But Catra just scribbled something down next to one of Adora’s notes and asked, “like what?”

“I don’t know,” Adora shrugged, “it’s just… Fridays used to be our days, you know? So I figured maybe we could have that back.”

“Okay,” Catra said, “movies and takeout?”

Adora smiled. “That sounds perfect.”

“Want to sleep over?” Catra asked, “really hammer home the whole tradition of the thing?”

“Yeah, okay,” Adora nodded, and then laughed and said, “if your mom will let me sleep in your room, anyway.”

Catra snorted. “Oh, she’s fine. After all, it’s not like either of us could get pregnant if we decide to have some kind of sex party.”

Adora choked and blushed violently at that little comment, and Catra smirked, because she knew exactly what she’d done. It was probably really obvious to her that Adora hadn’t slept with anyone yet, so it would be easy to tease her for it.

Rather suddenly, Adora wondered if Catra had. After all, she’d been with Lonnie for a long time. It was more likely that they had than hadn’t.

“I guess we’re good then,” was all Adora managed to say to that, and Catra laughed quietly. “What?”

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” Catra said easily, and Adora’s heart pounded, going into overdrive when Catra laughed and added, “actually, you’re cute all the time.”

“Wow,” Adora blurted out, and Catra laughed even harder. Adora rolled her eyes and reached over to shove her lightly. “Shut up! You’ve never actually hit on me before, this is all new.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “Who says I’m hitting on you?”

“I know you’re hitting on me,” Adora retorted, “don’t deny it.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Alright, just don’t get a big head about it.”

Adora grinned. “Hard not to, when a girl as pretty as you is hitting on me.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“You love it.”

“Oh, Adora, it’s lovely to see you,” Cyra said as she opened the door and let Adora inside. She smiled quite knowingly and added, “I know Catra will be happy to see you too.”

Adora blushed as she dropped her overnight bag and kicked her shoes off. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is,” Cyra said, and when she turned serious, Adora had to admit it was a little scary, “I like you, Adora, and you know that. All I want to say is that I need you to be careful with Catra, and be really sure that this is what you want. She was in a very bad place after what happened when you two were kids, and it’s taken a lot for her to get out of it.”

“So… don’t hurt her or you’ll kill me,” Adora attempted a joke, but before Cyra could say anything, she added seriously, “it’s not–she still has some stuff she’s trying to figure out about how she feels about me, so we’re not doing anything right now. And that’s okay. Her friendship means so much to me, and I would never do anything to throw that away, or to hurt her.”

Cyra smiled softly. “Oh, honey, I don’t think she’s figuring anything out about how she feels. She knows how she feels very well. I think she’s just a little apprehensive about getting hurt again, so she’s taking things one day at a time.”

“Mami, are you trying to threaten Adora like you did to me earlier?” Catra called from her bedroom, and after a few moments, she appeared in the doorway. She smiled at Adora, and leaning against the doorframe, she added, “because seriously, that was just laughable.”

“Wait…” Adora frowned, “you talked to Catra like this too?”

“Well, yes,” Cyra shrugged, and then she flashed an oddly sympathetic smile, “someone needed to, and though I don’t know what the situation is like at home, I had a feeling your mother wouldn’t.”

Cyra was right of course, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t make Adora a little sad. The only talks Marlena would have with Catra would probably be somewhere in the stay away from her vein.

“Thanks,” she said sincerely, and then she headed over to Catra and followed her into her bedroom. 

“Don’t let her freak you out,” Catra said as she pushed the door closed behind them, “you know what she’s like.”

As Adora sat down on the bed she asked, “did she do that to Lonnie too?”

It was alarming how easy it was to mention the girl’s name when she was no longer constantly hanging off Catra’s arm. They’d always avoided the topic of Lonnie before the breakup; Catra never mentioned her, and Adora always tried her best not to.

“You got off easy,” Catra said simply, and when she sat down next to her and grabbed her laptop to browse potential movies, she added, “my mami kind of hated her.”

Adora hummed. “I didn’t think you knew that.”

“It’s not hard to tell with her,” Catra said, but then frowned, “but I didn’t know that you knew that.”

Adora had never told her about that confrontation with Lonnie at her surprise party. She didn’t want to look like the crazy stalker girl who was trying to turn Catra against her girlfriend. But Catra didn’t have a girlfriend anymore, and there was no point in keeping it from her when they were trying to be honest.

“That day you got into Harvard, she confronted me,” Adora said, “told me to stay away from you. And your mom walked in on it.”

“Oh,” Catra frowned, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to come off like some crazy person who was trying to get in between you two,” Adora said, “I know you wouldn’t have thought I was lying, and that would’ve caused a rift.”

“You should’ve told me,” Catra said quietly, “I would’ve broken up with her a lot sooner. Not like she didn’t blame you anyway.”

“I should’ve told you and I’m sorry I didn’t,” Adora said, “I just didn’t want to… to look like I was trying to mess with your relationship. I meant it when I said I wanted you to be happy.”

“I know you did,” Catra answered, and after a few moments of pause, she laughed, “though, isn’t texting her pretending to be me messing in my relationship? Just in the opposite way?”

“Well…” Adora started, and when Catra laughed at her, she rolled her eyes, “what was I supposed to do? I was only trying to help.”

“Let her be mad at me?” Catra said, shrugging, “It probably would’ve worked in your favour. But you’re too nice and self-sacrificing for that.”

“So… you’re saying that if it were me with the girlfriend, and you had an opportunity to stop her being mad at me or something…” Adora questioned, “you wouldn’t?”

“You know I wouldn’t,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I’d sit back and watch the chaos, and then be the wonderful shoulder to cry on.”

Adora laughed, because she didn’t believe her in the slightest. “Yeah, okay. That’s so not true.”

“Uh, yes it is,” Catra folded her arms across her chest, “you know how I get when I’m jealous.”

“Maybe when you were ten,” Adora said, “but even then, you still put your feelings aside when I was going to the dance with Kyle. Took you a little while, but you did it. So no, I don’t believe you at all. You might be quieter about it, but you’re just as selfless as I am.”

“Shut up,” Catra muttered, and looked at her seriously, “don’t you dare tell anyone.”

“I wouldn’t,” Adora smiled, “you know that. As much as I really want to broadcast how much of a softie you are, I’m good with it being our little secret.”

“You’re such a fucking flirt,” Catra said, “you do know I already like you, right? You don’t need to turn on the charm.”

“Can’t help it,” Adora shrugged, “I’m naturally charming.”

Catra actually laughed then. “You really aren’t, but I’m the one idiot on the planet that thinks you are, so… I guess that’s okay.”

Adora found herself moving a little closer. “Yeah?”

She didn’t know if she was imagining it, but Catra seemed to be moving closer too. Adora held her breath, and her gaze flicked down to Catra’s lips, wanting so badly to meet them with her own.

But then Catra seemed to snap out of whatever she was thinking and turned away. “Yeah,” she said quietly, then cleared her throat and said, “so, I’ll make the popcorn, you pick the movie?”

“Sure,” Adora said, and when Catra smiled at her sheepishly, she smiled back.

Adora tried not to be too disappointed as she watched Catra go. She knew that Catra was still wary about everything, and she didn’t want to push her, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t absolutely dying to kiss her.

So, when Catra came back with a bowl of popcorn and a blanket, she took a different approach. “Do you want to eat lunch with me on Monday?”

Catra smiled slightly, sitting down next to her and placing the popcorn on her bedside table so she could unfold the blanket. It was an agonising wait for an answer while she got herself comfortable, and then held open the blanket for Adora to join her.

“I would,” she said as Adora shuffled over and joined her under the blanket, “but I can’t.”

Adora hummed, and after a little indecision, she was brave enough to put an arm around Catra. Catra smiled and settled into her, and Adora felt butterflies in her stomach. “Because… why?”

“Because,” Catra said, and didn’t elaborate. Instead, she grabbed her laptop and opened it up. “Did you pick a movie?”

“Yes,” Adora said, even though she didn’t, “but I’m not telling you what it is until you tell me why you don’t want to sit with me at lunch.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Catra answered, “but I can’t. I have a thing on Monday lunchtimes.”

“A thing?” Adora said disbelievingly. “Running your secret underground gambling ring or something?”

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” Catra replied, smirking slightly, “so, movie?”

“Come on,” Adora put aside any dignity she had and pouted, “tell me what the thing is.”

“Why do you want to know so bad?” Catra retorted, and Adora knew she was probably keeping it secret just to be annoying, but whatever. 

“Because you’re being so annoying about it,” Adora shrugged, “and you tell me everything.”

Catra pulled a sad face that was so obviously fake. “Aw, you really think that?”

“I know that,” Adora said, “so spill, come on.”

“Fine,” Catra rolled her eyes, “but you can’t laugh.”

“Laugh?” Adora repeated, already grinning. “Why would I laugh?”

“I have… mathletes on Monday lunchtimes,” Catra said, and Adora blinked, taking that in. And then she did laugh, and laughed even harder when Catra shoved her lightly and said, “shut up! I told you not to laugh.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” Adora stopped and laughed again, “mathletes.”

“I just did it for college applications, okay?” Catra said over Adora’s quiet laughter. “Believe me, I was planning on going the rest of my life without you ever finding out.”

“You would be in mathletes,” Adora laughed, “you’re such a nerd.”

“Uh, okay, which one of us here is in a cool punk rock band?” Catra retorted, “oh, yeah, not you.”

“Yeah, but you’re still a nerd,” Adora retorted, “but lucky for you, I think nerds are my type.”

“Okay,” Catra rolled her eyes, “I’m starting to regret saying yes to this whole thing.”

Adora raised her eyebrows, smirking. “This whole thing? And what exactly is that?”

“Oh, you know,” Catra turned away from her, but Adora could see the blush rising beneath the freckles on her cheeks, “hanging out.”

Adora hummed. “Hanging out. Because we’re totally just platonic besties. Are we going to paint each others’ nails and talk about boys later?”

“Hey, I’m not opposed to you painting my nails,” Catra shrugged, “and we can talk about boys if we’re talking about how stupid they are.”

Adora laughed, and after a few moments, she decided to stop teasing and say, “just to be clear, I’m not… I don’t think this is a date or anything. We are just hanging out as friends. I know you’re still… figuring things out.”

“You’re right about one thing,” Catra said, and when Adora looked at her inquisitively, she smiled, “this isn’t a date. But we’re definitely not just hanging out as friends. I can’t… jump into another relationship, and I need to get over some stuff, but that doesn’t mean we can’t… you know… flirt, or cuddle, or… hold hands or whatever. God, I sound like such a sap.”

“You are a sap,” Adora smiled, and she felt that warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest again, “but I love that about you.”

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t tell anyone,” Catra rolled her eyes, but then she smiled and rested her head on Adora’s shoulder, reaching down to take her hand. “Thanks, though. For being patient with me. I appreciate it.”

Adora put aside any hesitation and kissed the top of Catra’s head. “Anything for you.”

Catra didn’t say anything to that, but she didn’t have to.

The smile on her face said it all.

“Don’t you dare say no.”

“Why not?” Adora asked, “it’s my life.”

“Yeah, but I’m your boss,” Glimmer said firmly, “you’re coming to my party.”

“But it’s on Friday,” Adora said, “and I have plans on Friday. For every Friday, for the foreseeable future.”

Glimmer raised her eyebrows. “Okay, that came out of nowhere. Why are Fridays suddenly pencilled out of your schedule?”

“It’s just… it’s a thing,” Adora said, and when Glimmer didn’t seem like she was going to let it slide, she sighed and admitted, “Catra and I always spent every Friday together when we were kids. And I’m trying to get that going again.”

“Bring her, then,” Glimmer shrugged, “that way, you can come to my party, and work on seducing the love of your life.”

“Okay, I’m not trying to seduce her,” Adora rolled her eyes, “I’m trying to woo her, that’s much more romantic.”

“Alright, your eighteenth century love affair aside,” Glimmer said, “my point still stands. Invite her.” 

“She won’t want to come,” Adora said firmly, because she knew that for a fact. Catra always made jokes about how she thought the people at their school were morons, and she’d never wanted to spend time with Adora’s friends before. “And I want to hang out with her, so I’m going to her place. Can’t you have your party on Saturday?”

“My parents are going to be home Saturday,” Glimmer answered, “so no. Why don’t you think she’d want to come?”

“Because she doesn’t like parties,” Adora said, “and I know it’d make her uncomfortable, and I’m really trying not to scare her off.”

“It’s not going to be a big party, if it helps,” Glimmer said quickly, “just the core group, and a few drinking games. Honestly, more of a hangout than a party.”

“I said no,” Adora snapped irritably, and Glimmer had the decency to look chastised. Feeling guilty for snapping, Adora sighed and apologised, “look, I’m sorry. It’s just… I’m really trying not to mess things up with her.”

“So you’re ditching your friends for her?” Glimmer questioned, and before Adora could protest, she spoke, “no, don’t deny it. I feel like we’ve hardly seen you lately. You keep going off at lunchtimes and you never come out outside of school anymore…”

“Okay, I go off at lunchtimes to study,” Adora said, and didn’t mention that Catra always seemed to miraculously appear and help her like some kind of study wizard, “and I do come out. I came to Sea Hawk’s party a while back.”

“Yeah, a while back,” Glimmer pointed out, “I just miss you. We all do.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to come. But hey, maybe you, me and Bow can do something on Saturday,” Adora said, even though she’d originally planned on hanging out at Catra’s for as long as she could, “we could go see a movie or something.”

“You know what?” Glimmer said, and she’d suddenly switched from dejected to cunning in five seconds, “why don’t we just ask your girlfriend if she wants to join us?”

“She’s not my girlfriend–” Adora started to say, but Glimmer wasn’t paying attention to her. She was too busy shouting, “hey, Catra!” and waving.

Catra frowned, like she didn’t know why Glimmer wanted her attention so badly. But then she saw Adora, and her whole face lit up in a smile. Adora suddenly felt a lot better, and then remembered that Glimmer was still there, and her anxiety skyrocketed. This couldn’t be good.

Admittedly, she’d been trying to keep Catra and her friends a little separate. What she and Catra had was special, and very, very tentative, and she didn’t want her friends to scare Catra away with jokes and teasing.

“Hey, why don’t we go and do some studying,” Adora said as soon as Catra stopped in front of her, “Cat, you know Glimmer, she was just leaving.”

“Stop being a weirdo,” Glimmer rolled her eyes, grabbing Adora’s arm and stopping her before she could whisk Catra away, “I’m having a party on Friday. Do you want to come?”

Catra looked at Glimmer with her eyes narrowed, and then glanced at Adora. Adora managed an anxious grimace, and then Catra looked back at Glimmer again. “Why are you asking me? No offence, Sparkles, but I don’t exactly know you.”

“Adora won’t ask you to come because she’s too chicken and thinks you don’t want to,” Glimmer said easily, “and apparently you always spend Friday nights together, so I’m inviting you.”

Catra didn’t answer Glimmer directly. She glanced back at Adora and asked, “why didn’t you want to ask me?”

“I just–I didn’t think you’d want to go,” Adora said nervously, “and I want to spend Friday night with you.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to go?”

“I mean…” Adora trailed off, and after a little hesitation, answered honestly, “yeah.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Catra shrugged, like she didn’t even have to think about it.

Oh, Adora thought, surprised it had been that easy. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Catra smiled, nudging her lightly, “all you had to do was ask.”

Adora reached out and took Catra’s hand, squeezing it softly. “Thanks.”

“Not to butt in on this totally heartwarming display of homosexuality,” Glimmer said, “but that settles it. I’ll see you both Friday night. Bring some booze.”

With that, she turned and practically skipped down the hallway, and Adora laughed quietly when Catra watched after her and murmured, “are all your friends that dramatic?”

“Nah, just her,” Adora said, and added seriously, “you know we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“You want to,” Catra shrugged, “and if we’re going to be with each other down the line, I need you to feel comfortable actually asking me to do things like this with you.”

Adora felt her cheeks flushing red, embarrassed at being caught in her rather obvious thought process. “It wasn’t that I didn’t feel comfortable, it’s just… I didn’t think you’d want to go, and I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I know you don’t like my friends…”

“I don’t dislike them,” Catra said, “I don’t know them. And I know in the past I didn’t want to know them, but now… I want to. It’s important to you, so it’s important to me.”

Adora didn’t quite know what to say. Obviously, she’d known that Catra had done a lot of growing up in the time they’d spent apart, but she had still felt a little wary. She reached out and pulled Catra in for a tight hug, burying her face in her shoulder.

“I love you,” Adora murmured, and she felt the way Catra relaxed into her, “so much.”

Catra didn’t say it back. Adora had noticed that she’d never actually said it, at least not directly to her. But she’d never had to. 

Adora knew.

And right now, that was enough.

“Are you okay?”

“You know you don’t have to keep asking me that, right?” Catra laughed, swinging their hands as they walked. “I’m fine. Plus, I did a shot before we left, so…”

“And you didn’t offer me one?” Adora raised her eyebrows. “That’s rude.”

“You didn’t need to ease your nerves,” Catra shrugged, “so no, I didn’t.”

“Uh, I’m the one they’re probably all going to be teasing all night,” Adora rolled her eyes, “seriously, be warned.”

“You should be warned that I’ll probably join in,” Catra said, “I have plenty of embarrassing stories ready and waiting.”

“Okay, but I could just do the exact same thing to you,” Adora pointed out, “like, I could tell them all about how after you read Twilight, you were convinced you were a vampire for like, two weeks.”

“I mean, you could,” Catra said, “but they’re not my friends, so it wouldn’t bother me. Just don’t mention the mathletes thing and we’re fine.”

“You do realise that now that you’ve said that,” Adora said, “I’m totally mentioning the mathletes thing.”

“Fuck off,” Catra pulled her hand out of Adora’s, “hand-holding privileges revoked.”

“Hey, no,” Adora reached out to take Catra’s hand again, but Catra just laughed and dodged her, “Cat, you can’t do that! That’s a cruel and unusual punishment.”

“Too bad,” Catra shrugged, “should’ve thought about that when you threatened to reveal my deepest, darkest secret to your friends.”

“Fine, fine, that stays between us,” Adora relented, and when Catra just looked at her with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face, she reached out quickly and grabbed her hand. “Got you.”

She half-expected Catra to let go again, but instead, she just squeezed Adora’s hand and smiled. “You do.”

Adora felt her heart beat a little faster in her chest when Catra looked at her like that, and it was so hard not to kiss her. So instead, she looked away and asked, “you’re really okay though, right? Like, we can totally go back to your place if–”

“Adora,” Catra interrupted her, “I’m fine. I wouldn’t have said yes to coming with you if I thought I wouldn’t be.”

“Okay,” Adora said, “I just want to make sure.”

“And I just want you to have a good night,” Catra smiled that soft smile, the one Adora always remembered from when they were kids. The one that had always been reserved just for her. “So stop worrying, okay? I’m good.”

“Cool,” Adora nodded, and pulled Catra up the street a little faster, “Glimmer’s place is on the corner here. Thanks for doing this with me.”

“Don’t thank me, nerd,” Catra smiled, “I think I heard somewhere that it’s like, a rite of passage for childhood best friends to get drunk together.”

Adora grinned knowingly. “I think I’ve heard that too.”

“I can imagine you’re a touchy drunk,” Catra laughed, and before Adora had a chance to totally deny that, she added, “fortunately for these situations, I’m a social drunk.”

Adora raised her eyebrows. “A social drunk?”

“Yeah,” Catra shrugged, “as soon as I have a drink, I seem to forget that I’m very much introverted. You would not believe the amount of plans I’ve made to hang out with people while I’ve been drunk and then woken up the next day and realised I really don’t want to go out.”

Adora smiled. “I would promise to never hold you to your drunk plans, but I like hanging out with you too much.”

“That’s fine,” Catra said, “you’re like the one exception to my insane introvertedness. You’ve never once drained my social battery.”

Adora smirked. “You know, I could be totally flirty right now and say that it’s because we’re soulmates.”

Catra laughed quietly. “You’re so cheesy.”

“You like it,” Adora said as she pulled Catra up Glimmer’s driveway. She knocked on the door, and when she looked at Catra, Catra laughed.

“You want to ask me if I’m okay again, don’t you?”

Adora blushed. “Shut up.”

Before Catra could say anything, the front door swung open, and Glimmer was there with a wide grin on her face and a drink in her hand. 

“Guys!” She said, stepping aside and beckoning them in, “come in, come in, great to see you, everyone’s in the lounge.”

Adora kept a tight grip on Catra’s hand as they followed Glimmer to the lounge, and from the corner of her eye, she noticed the way Catra looked down at their hands, like she was surprised that Adora was still holding it. 

Her friends had truly made themselves comfortable. Mermista and Sea Hawk had clearly claimed the couch, Mermista laying across it like she owned the place and Sea Hawk with his arm around her. Glimmer had brought her beanbags from her bedroom, and Scorpia and Perfuma were snuggled up in one, Adam and Teela on the other. Bow was lounging on the floor by the coffee table, sipping on a drink that Adora didn’t doubt contained alcohol.

Despite her constant claims about how fine she was, Catra seemed to relax when she saw Scorpia. “Funny seeing you here,” she called out, and when Scorpia noticed her, she grinned.

Catra’s hand fell out of Adora’s when Scorpia pulled herself away from Perfuma and wrapped Catra in what looked like a bone-crushing hug. “Wildcat! I didn’t know you were coming! I thought you said you had plans tonight.”

“Yeah, well, my plans wanted to come here,” Catra said when Scorpia finally released her, “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Perfuma invited me,” Scorpia smiled, blushing, “she likes me back.”

“Shockingly, I figured that one out on my own,” Catra retorted, and then she looked back at Adora with that soft smile on her face, and from the knowing look that Scorpia gave the two of them, Adora wondered what Catra had told her. “Are you going to get me a drink, then?”

“Oh, yeah,” Adora realised, and she took Catra’s hand again, pushing the inevitable introductions back a few minutes by pulling her into the kitchen. She pulled off her backpack and unzipped it, taking out the two bottles in there and passing one to Catra.

“My favourite,” Catra smirked at the tequila, “how did you know?”

“A cute girl took it out of her closet and gave it to me,” Adora shrugged, “I thought about telling her mom on her, but I like having her alive, so…”

“Actually,” Catra said, unscrewing the cap and grabbing the nearest shot glass to pour, “she bought it for me. But she made me promise to drink in moderation.”

Adora watched as Catra took her shot and immediately poured another one. “I see you’re sticking to that promise.”

“It wasn’t a pinky swear, so it’s not legally binding,” Catra said, and Adora grinned, “besides… what my mami doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Adora smiled, unscrewing the cap on her own drink of choice. “Pass me that shot glass. I’m three behind you now.”

“Got a lot of catching up to do,” Catra smirked, “and even then, I’ll still drink you under the table.”

“In your dreams,” Adora snorted, “look at you, you’re tiny. I bet a million dollars that you’re a lightweight.”

“I’ll take that million in cash,” Catra said, “so you might want to take that back.”

Adora won that bet easily.

It took Catra five shots before her eyes got that misty, drunk look in them, and whatever walls she’d been hiding behind had fallen down. Adora was sipping on a rum and coke, feeling a little tipsy but mostly fine, watching fondly as Catra and Glimmer were insulting each other over a game of Mario Kart.

“You’re such a fucking cheater!”

“It’s not my fault that you didn’t know you could do that,” Catra was saying as her character was bouncing off the walls on the mushroom gorge level to cut back to the start, “I told you I was unbeatable.”

“Yeah, because you’re cheating,” Glimmer shouted, as Catra just smirked and started her second lap, “play fucking fair.”

“I never promised to do that.”

“I did warn you not to play with her,” Adora called out, “she did that to me way too many times when we were kids. The first time we ever played, she lost, and then she spent the entire next week learning all of these shortcuts because she couldn’t bear losing.”

Adora could practically hear the eye roll in Glimmer’s voice. “Adora, please make yourself useful and take her controller away from her so I can catch up.”

“Who’s cheating now, Sparkles?” Catra said, already entering her third lap just as Glimmer reached the end of her first. “Adora, if you do what she said, I won’t hold your hand for three weeks.”

“Sorry, Glimmer,” Adora said, trying to hide her smile, “you’re on your own.”

“Fucking lesbians,” Glimmer muttered, and Adora snorted, “Adora, I’m going to kill your girlfriend.”

As Catra finished her final lap and threw her controller down victoriously, Adora half expected her to deny what Glimmer had said. But instead, she just barked out a laugh when Glimmer tried to do what she’d done and her character plummeted into the mushroomy depths.

“Nice try,” Catra teased, “but that’s not how you do it.”

“How the fuck do you do it then?” Glimmer muttered, giving up and finishing her lap the normal way.

“Like I’d tell you,” Catra replied, holding up the controller, “anyone else want to ruin Sparkles’ day?”

“I’ll go,” Scorpia said, taking the controller and Catra’s seat on the couch, “I’m not very good at this game, though.”

“That’s fine,” Catra said, “neither is she.”

“Oh my god,” Glimmer groaned, “I’m actually going to kill you.”

Catra just laughed, and when she met Adora’s gaze, that competitive smirk on her face changed into something softer. She came over and joined Adora where she’d been sitting on the floor, watching the carnage. Catra smiled, slowly taking Adora’s drink from her hand and taking a sip before handing it back.

“One of your besties already wants to murder me,” Catra said, “I’d say I’m making a fantastic impression.”

Adora laughed. “Glimmer doesn’t like losing. Much like someone else I know.”

“Oh, like you’re any better,” Catra rolled her eyes, “you’re literally an athlete. That’s the definition of competitive.”

“We should’ve gotten you on the soccer team,” Adora said thoughtfully, “you and me, we’d be an unstoppable force.”

“Yeah?” Catra laughed, “unfortunately for you, my complete lack of athleticism might wreck your plans.”

Adora smiled. “Well, you did have to be bad at something.”

“Suppose so,” Catra shrugged, and with absolutely no warning whatsoever, she took Adora’s hand and settled into her, resting her head on her shoulder. “Are you having a good time?”

Adora’s heart was thumping against her ribcage, and it took a lot to level out her voice. “Yeah. Thanks for coming with me.”

She’d clearly sounded nervous, because Catra just squeezed her hand and murmured, “is this okay?”

“More than okay,” Adora said, and Catra hummed in reply, staying comfortable, “they all keep referring to you as my girlfriend anyway, so…”

Catra hummed again. “Is that upsetting you?”

“It’s more… annoying than anything,” Adora admitted, “because you’re not. But I really want you to be.”

They were straying into dangerous territory, and Adora knew it. Catra was good at keeping her cards close to her chest, and despite how much they’d been flirting lately, Catra hadn’t made any real move. 

“I know,” Catra said quietly, and Adora definitely didn’t expect her to say, “I do too.”

Adora could feel her heart pounding again. She knew she shouldn’t ask Catra this when she’d had tequila, but Adora had also had a decent amount of rum, and wasn’t thinking things through.

“Why aren’t you, then?”

Catra sighed, and lifted her head up from Adora’s shoulder to look at her. “I’m scared… of getting hurt again, of hurting you, of losing you again. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and it’d kill me to lose that a second time. But I’m… I’m working on not being scared. I just need a little more time to deal with it before I can…”

“Okay,” Adora said quietly, squeezing her hand, “I’m scared too, you know.”

Catra frowned. She looked surprised. “You are?”

“Of course I am,” Adora told her, “of all the things you said. You make me feel so much, Cat. That’s terrifying. And when I didn’t have you in my life, when I thought you hated me, everything felt so bleak. I never stopped thinking about you, even before I realised just how much you meant to me. But having the chance to be with you, even if it didn’t last… it’d be worth doing that all over again.”

Catra didn’t say anything for a while. She sat, looking thoughtful, and then she leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to Adora’s cheek. It was electrifying, a spark that set alight every nerve in Adora’s body. She knew why she reacted like that to something so simple, but it still took her breath away every time.

“I want to be with you. I know that,” Catra said quietly, “is it okay if I wait a little while, though? I want to–I want to make it special.”

Adora smiled softly. “You’re such a sap.”

“Only for you.”

Adora knew what that translated to. 

The fire alarm blared out halfway through the poem Adora was trying and failing to analyse, and the first thought that ran through her head was, well, I’m definitely awake now. 

She would’ve panicked, but the bored tone in which her teacher said, “alright, everyone outside,” clued her in that this was a drill. Which was fine by her; English wasn’t her strongest subject, and any excuse to get out of it was really a blessing.

She followed the rest of the class and teacher out onto the football field, stood in line as he checked off everyone on the class register, and then scattered like the rest of her class. Most people were going off to find their friends, and Adora scanned the bleachers, where a lot of people had gone to sit, but didn’t spot anybody. 

Instead of heading up there, she walked up to the chain link fence separating school property and sat down against it. She checked her back pocket, but realised she’d left her phone inside, which would’ve sucked if it were a real fire. It still sucked, because that meant boredom until they were allowed back in, but she figured one of her friends would find her sooner or later.

“Hey.”

Adora looked up, and something in her chest settled. She should’ve known that Catra would find her first. “Hi.”

Catra stretched out on the grass next to her. “So which class do you have the pleasure of missing right now?”

“English lit,” Adora said, “not that mad about it. You?”

“Calc,” Catra answered, “also not mad about it.”

“Oh, really?” Adora laughed, “and I thought little miss mathlete would be devastated.”

“And on that note, I’ll see you later,” Catra said, and pretended to make a move like she was going to leave. Adora laughed, grabbing her hand, and Catra stayed put. 

“So,” Adora said, “have you got your outfit ready for Mara and Hope’s wedding?”

“No, I figured I’d leave it until the night before to go shopping,” Catra answered, and Adora rolled her eyes at the sarcasm, “yeah. I have a strong feeling your mom is going to hate it, if she’s even going.”

“She’s going,” Adora shrugged, “reluctantly, but she’s going. I’m guessing you’re not wearing a dress.”

“Nope,” Catra said, “but no spoilers. You can wait until tomorrow to see it.”

“That’s not fair,” Adora frowned, “you got to see my dress.”

“You willingly sent me that picture,” Catra laughed, “completely unprompted.”

“Well… delete it from your memory, then,” Adora said petulantly, but she couldn’t deny that her heart warmed at the way Catra laughed. “Are you going to stay over tonight? It’ll be easier if you do, for going to the wedding tomorrow, but also… Friday.”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “if that’s allowed, anyway.”

Frankly, Adora wasn’t sure if it was. Her parents were letting Teela stay over with Adam, since she was his date, but it was different. Because Adam wasn’t gay. 

Every week since they’d started doing them again, their Friday night sleepovers had taken place at Catra’s house. Adora felt a little guilty about it, because they always used to take turns when they were little, but she hadn’t wanted to ask her mom if she could have Catra over after the last time, and she didn’t want to put Catra through anything that might upset her.

“I’ll ask my dad,” Adora said, “I know he’ll be okay with it. But if he’s not, we’ll just stay over at your place and I’ll drive us to the wedding.”

Catra looked at her a little sympathetically, and Adora knew that Catra knew what she was thinking. Catra smiled sadly and said, “I’m sorry things still suck.”

“It’s not… so bad,” Adora said quietly, “my dad and my brother don’t care. And mostly my mom just pretends that nothing is any different, so it’s not like I’m getting homophobic abuse or anything.”

“It’s a different kind of homophobia, though,” Catra said, “not acknowledging it, treating it like it’s something shameful. And if she does anything to invalidate you, I will say something. Unless you don’t want me to.”

Adora knew how protective Catra was over the people she cared about. But… “as much as I appreciate the gesture, it’s probably better if you don’t. For Mara and Hope, anyway. I wouldn’t want anything to ruin their wedding.”

“That’s true,” Catra said sadly, “is your mom deluding herself into thinking it’s some kind of friendship wedding?”

“I don’t know,” Adora shrugged, “probably. I don’t even know why she’s going. She’s made it very clear how she feels about gay people.”

“I’m really sorry, Adora,” Catra said sincerely, “you never know, though. She could come around one day. I mean, at least she’s going to the wedding, right?”

“I guess so,” Adora sighed, and rested her head on Catra’s shoulder. Usually it was the other way around, but Catra put an arm around her and squeezed her gently. “Anyway, enough about that. What we should focus on is that Mara and Hope are getting married, and that’s amazing.”

“It’s pretty comforting, in a way,” Catra said, and Adora pulled back a little to look up at her quizzically, “like, when we were kids, I always kind of looked up to them, once I figured out what was really going on. It’s comforting to see people like you living a happy life together, especially when you’re a closeted ten year old who thinks something’s wrong with her.”

“I guess it is pretty cool to see,” Adora answered, “do you want to get married?”

Catra laughed quietly. “Moving a little fast there, aren’t you? Maybe take me on a date first.”

“I didn’t mean–” Adora started, scrambling to explain herself, but then she saw the smirk on Catra’s face and rolled her eyes. “You’re an asshole. Why do you do things like that?”

“Because it’s so fun to watch you get all flustered,” Catra laughed, and then she finally answered the question seriously. “Honestly, yeah, I would like to get married one day. When I was a kid I felt the complete opposite, because I always thought that getting married meant that you had to live with a boy forever, and that seemed like hell. But once I realised I was gay, my attitude towards the whole thing completely flipped. Like, imagine having a wife. That’d be amazing.”

Admittedly, Adora had never really thought about whether she wanted to get married later in life. But when she pictured her future wife, she saw heterochromatic eyes and wild brown hair and knew that was what she wanted.

“Yeah,” she agreed, “it would be pretty awesome.”

Catra smiled slightly, like she knew what Adora was thinking. She opened her mouth to say something, but then they were interrupted by the fire alarm cutting out, and the teachers ordering everyone back inside. 

“Well,” Catra stood up and held out a hand for Adora to help her up, “better get back to class. Text me later and tell me what your dad says about me staying over.”

“Sure.” Adora nodded and grabbed Catra’s hand, letting her pull her up.

She didn’t let go until they had to go their separate ways down the hallway.

Adora was pacing by the door, waiting for Catra to arrive. 

Even though her dad had said yes to Catra staying over, her mom had no idea, and Adora really didn’t want Catra to get turned away at the door for absolutely no reason. She knew Marlena would find out eventually, but her mother was usually uber-polite with guests, so Adora didn’t think she’d kick Catra out.

Besides, Adam was having his girlfriend stay over. In his bedroom. If there was anything to be worried about, Marlena should point her attention there, and not towards Adora and her friend.

When there was finally a knock on the front door, Adora pulled it open immediately, and Catra looked a little surprised. Then she smirked and said, “excited to see me or something?”

“Or something,” Adora said, stepping aside to let her in, “have you eaten already?”

“Nope,” Catra answered, “what’re you making for me?”

Adora shrugged. “My mom’s making pasta for dinner.”

“I’m sure it’ll be wonderfully bland,” Catra said quietly, and Adora wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hear that, but she laughed anyway. Catra looked a little embarrassed, but murmured, “sorry, that was kind of a bitchy thing to say.”

“I mean, you’re probably right,” Adora admitted, “there’s a reason I don’t exactly have a spice tolerance.”

“I’ll fix that, don’t you worry,” Catra laughed as she kicked her shoes off. Adora realised she was still holding her bag, and reached out to take it from her. “What’re you doing?”

“Carrying your bag for you,” Adora said, “it looks heavy.”

“I’m sure I can manage the three feet down the hallway to your bedroom,” Catra rolled her eyes, but she didn’t take the bag back as she followed Adora to her room. “No peeking in there, though. You’re not getting any spoilers on my outfit for tomorrow.”

“Okay, okay,” Adora laughed, “I think I have an idea of what–”

“Adora, dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes,” Marlena interrupted as she walked out of the kitchen. She paused, took one look at Catra, and greeted tensely, “hello, Catrina.”

“Uh, hey,” Catra said awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Catra will be joining us for dinner,” Adora said before her mother could say anything, “and she’s staying over tonight because she’s coming with me to the wedding.”

Marlena pursed her lips, and it was obvious that she didn’t approve. “I’ll set an extra place at the table and I’ll ask your dad to get the couch ready.”

Adora frowned. “Um, what? You’re letting Teela stay in Adam’s room.”

Marlena looked at her tiredly, like Adora was the one with the problem. “That’s different.”

“Because they’re straight?” Adora questioned without thinking about it. She saw the way her mother flinched, but it didn’t stop her. “Catra and I aren’t even together. We’re just friends. If you should worry about anyone fraternising under your roof, it should be them.”

Marlena sighed. “It’s not about that–”

Adora felt herself getting even angrier. “No, it clearly is, and I’m sick of you acting like–”

“Adora,” Catra interrupted her, putting a hand on her shoulder and making her momentarily snap out of her rage, “it’s okay, I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

Catra was looking at her seriously, like she was trying to remind Adora of their conversation earlier. A reminder to not start things because it was Mara and Hope’s wedding, and they didn’t want to make things awkward.

But, Adora reasoned, it’s not Mara and Hope’s wedding yet. “No. It’s not okay. You’re my guest, and I won’t let her treat you like this. Mom, I get that it’s your house, or whatever, but even if Catra and I were dating, can’t you see the complete double standard here? Adam gets to have his girlfriend sleep in his bedroom with him, but mine would have to sleep on the couch?”

“I told you, it’s not about that,” Marlena huffed, “I’m sick of you talking back to me. Catrina said she’s fine with the couch. That’s the end of it.”

“And why are you suddenly calling her Catrina like you haven’t known her for years?” Adora interrupted, completely ignoring her mother’s argument. “Because you think she turned me gay or something? Fun fact, mom, I would’ve turned out gay regardless of whether or not Catra did. It’s literally how I was born, and I can’t change that. God knows I tried hard enough to.

“You know what? I’m sick of waiting around for things to get better, for you to finally understand that this isn’t going to change,” Adora sighed, “but the more I wait, the more I realise that you’re probably never going to. And I don’t think I can be around that.

She turned to Catra and said quietly, “I’m sorry, Cat, but I think we need to go.”

“Okay,” Catra nodded, and she looked concerned, but didn’t say anything or question her about it. “I’ll grab you some overnight stuff.”

Before Marlena could say anything about it, Catra rushed down the hallway and into Adora’s bedroom. Marlena looked after her for a moment, an expression on her face that Adora couldn’t decipher, before she looked back.

Adora stood her ground and waited for her mother to say something. Say anything, redeem herself in any way.

But Marlena just sighed and said, “you haven’t been making it easy for me.”

Adora scoffed. “You haven’t made it easy for me either. Why not just cut me off and kick me out? It’d honestly hurt a lot less.”

Marlena looked shocked at the mere thought. “I would never do that. You’re my daughter.”

“Well,” Adora felt a crack in her voice and tears stinging at her eyes, but she said it anyway, “until you figure your shit out, I’m not.”

Her mom stood in a stunned silence as Catra came back and quietly handed Adora her overnight bag that she’d hurriedly packed. Catra looked between them, concerned, but Adora just shook her head and turned towards the door.

Catra looked incredibly worried as Adora pulled her shoes on, but she put her own on and headed outside. 

Before she left, Adora turned back in the doorway and said firmly, “don’t contact me until you get over yourself. And if you never do, then I hope you know that it’s your fault.”

Adora was silent for the entire drive over to Catra’s.

Catra had asked her if she was alright as soon as they’d gotten into Adora’s car, despite already knowing the answer. Adora had merely shaken her head and started the car, focusing solely on driving, and not on the fact that she desperately wanted to burst into tears.

She could feel the concern radiating from Catra, could feel her gaze every time she glanced over from the passenger seat. But Catra seemed to understand that she couldn’t talk about it, not if they wanted to make it back to her place. 

Adora pulled up out front, still holding back tears, and grabbed both her own and Catra’s overnight bags from the trunk, stalking towards the front door like she was on some kind of mission. Catra hurried after her, quickly unlocking the front door, and when Adora stepped inside, the bags fell from her hands and she finally broke.

“Hey, I’ve got you,” Catra was quick to pull Adora in for a tight hug, and she didn’t let go when she pulled back. She started leading Adora down the hallway to her bedroom, throwing out a quick, “ahora no, mami,” when Cyra came out of the lounge wondering what was going on.

Adora let go of Catra as she collapsed onto Catra’s bed in a flurry of sobs, something in her chest feeling like it had snapped. Catra laid next to her and pulled her in close, and Adora let everything out into Catra’s shoulder. 

She stayed gripping tightly onto the girl she loved until she cried herself dry, and then some. Catra just held her, fingers running softly through Adora’s hair, murmuring, “you’re alright, I’ve got you,” and other little comforts.

Adora still felt numb when she finally surfaced and met Catra’s beautiful gaze. “I’m okay,” she muttered, even though she was the furthest thing from it.

“No, you’re not,” Catra answered, because of course she knew that. She looked like she had something she wanted to say, but hesitated, dragging her teeth across her bottom lip contemplatively. Clearly, she decided not to voice whatever it was just yet. 

“You need to eat,” Catra said finally, “I’ll make us some grilled cheese sandwiches and hot cocoa. And once you’ve eaten, we’re going to talk about this. You’re not going to bottle it up in your stupid Adora way, okay?”

Adora should’ve known that was coming. As much as she didn’t want to talk about what had happened, because it was all so raw, she knew she had to, and that Catra would make her feel a little better about it.

“Okay,” Adora agreed quietly, “okay.”

Catra nodded, looking at her with so much worry and concern that it made Adora’s heart hurt even more. After a few moments, she squeezed Adora tightly around the middle and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, before she finally let go and headed for the door.

She paused in the door frame. “Shout if you need me, okay?”

“I will,” Adora nodded, and watched anxiously as Catra left.

She settled back against Catra’s pillows and wiped at her eyes, sniffling. Something in her chest felt so heavy, a weight that she thought would’ve lifted after standing up to her mother. Instead, it had quadrupled in size. It almost made her want to apologise, even though she knew she wasn’t the one in the wrong.

She heard Catra in the kitchen, talking in a hushed Spanish with Cyra. Probably telling her what happened, and why they’d come back here. There was a flash of jealousy at the pit of Adora’s stomach, and she felt guilty the moment it happened. But she couldn’t help it; it was painful, knowing that her own mother couldn’t put her opinions aside and support her the way Catra’s did.

Everything played over in her head again, like a rerun of some terrible TV show. The way Marlena had stood there after Adora said what she said, the way she didn’t even try to fight for forgiveness or apologise. Like she didn’t care at all that her only daughter was walking out.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out to see a number of missed calls from her dad and texts from Adam. Reading the texts, her guilt multiplied tenfold.

Adam (6:34PM): what the hell is happening?? Can just hear you and mom shouting

Adam (6:40PM): did you leave?

Adam (6:48PM): mom’s crying and dad started shouting at her for something and i heard your name

Adam (6:57PM): dad explained. Call me

Adora stared at the last message, wondering if she should. Obviously, it wasn’t her brother’s fault. It wasn’t her dad’s, either. They’d both found it easy enough to accept her. She opened up the message thread, and her fingers hovered over the keyboard, but she couldn’t quite think of anything to say.

Adora (7:02PM): I’m at Catra’s. Don't worry. I'm fine.

The last part of that message was a complete lie, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say. As she tapped send, the messages with her brother melted away and her mother’s photograph popped up on her phone screen.

She was calling.

Adora stared down at her mom’s contact picture. It was a photo her brother had taken on their family vacation a few years back. Her mom’s arm was around her, and they were posing on a sandy beach, both smiling widely. Adora almost couldn’t believe she’d had times like that with her mother, with how tense everything had been the last few months.

She stared down at the answer and decline buttons, not sure what to do. But despite how bad she felt, she was still so angry at the way her mom had treated her lately, and the way her mom had treated Catra. And when Catra kicked her bedroom door open, a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches and two mugs of hot cocoa balanced precariously in her arms, Adora didn’t hesitate to decline the call and promptly shut her phone off.

Adora took the plate of sandwiches so Catra could put the mugs down on her bedside table. She grabbed a sandwich and took her time biting into it, and once she’d swallowed her bite, she admitted, “she called.”

Even though she probably already knew the answer, Catra asked, “did you answer?”

“No,” Adora murmured, “but I almost did.”

Catra sighed, leaning back against her pillows. “Honestly, I think you made the right call there. But I do think you should talk to her at some point. Just maybe when emotions aren’t so high.”

Adora frowned, not expecting that from Catra of all people. This was the girl who didn’t speak to Adora for three years because she thought she was homophobic. “Why? She’s been so horrible to you every time you’ve been over, because she clearly thinks you turned me gay or something. Why the hell would I talk to someone who treats my best friend like that?”

“Well… because she’s your mom,” Catra said, “and she called you. Maybe she realised how much she’d been hurting you.”

“Or she’s calling to tell me I can come pick up my things because she never wants to see me again,” Adora muttered, “I don’t think one argument is enough to change her mind, Cat.”

“No, it’s definitely not,” Catra said, “but it might’ve been a wakeup call, at least. I’m not saying you’re going to catch her throwing a one woman pride parade, but seeing how much she’s affected you might’ve given her at least the motivation to change. Either way, I think you should talk to her, even if it’s for some kind of closure.”

“Closure,” Adora repeated, and a few tears she didn’t know she still had left fell, “with my own mother. How fucked up is that?”

“I’m really sorry, Adora,” Catra said genuinely, “and for the record, I think it’s fucked up, the way she’s been treating you since you came out. Parents should love and support their kid no matter what, and it’s wrong that she hasn’t been doing that.”

“I just wish she was like your mom,” Adora murmured, “I see you with her, and I hate that I feel jealous, but I do. I want my mom to tease me about girls and invite my girlfriend over for dinner and–and be there to make a fucking embarrassing speech when I’m marrying my future wife. But I can’t see that ever happening now.”

Catra pulled her in for a tight hug again, and Adora felt herself relax into her. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but you never know. Like I said, this could’ve been a wakeup call for her.”

“Don’t worry,” Adora sighed, “my hopes are insanely low. With the way she’s treated Mara all these years, I can’t see her changing. And I know it’s stupid, but part of me is so angry about it because I don’t want her to scare you away. I feel guilty putting you in a situation where you have to deal with that kind of homophobia, and I guess I’m worried that she’ll end up pushing you away from me.”

“That’s not possible,” Catra said, and she sounded so sure of herself that it made Adora believe it too. “Trust me, I’ve heard a lot worse. And it helps that I don’t care that she doesn’t like me. You do, and that’s what’s important.”

“I don’t like you,” Adora murmured, “I love you.”

She didn’t expect Catra to say it back. Catra never did, never had told Adora that she loved her like that, not directly, not present-tense. Adora knew she did, so it hadn’t really mattered, and it didn’t bother her when Catra flashed a soft smile and said, “I know.”

But then she followed it up with an easy, “I love you too.”

“We don’t have to go, you know.”

Catra was watching her carefully, standing there in a perfectly tailored tux that Adora was a little too distracted to appreciate. It was making her mad, really - Catra looked absolutely incredible, but Adora had too much on her mind to even focus on it. She should be thinking about grabbing Catra by the untied bow-tie around her neck and kissing her, but all she could think about was how anxious she was to see her mother.

“Yeah, we do,” Adora sighed, hanging back by the front door and anxiously gripping the small purse she was bringing. “Regardless of everything that happened last night, I have to be there for Mara and Hope. And I want to be there for them. I just…”

She trailed off, but because Catra had always been able to read her, she finished for her. “You’d rather not face your mom.”

“Yeah,” Adora murmured, twirling the house keys in her other hand. She glanced outside at the taxi waiting outside Catra’s house, and wished they could just stay. “I guess I’m just anxious that she’ll say something that’ll make me feel worse. Which… I don’t know if that’s possible, but…”

“Well, if she does,” Catra said, “you come find me and I’ll kick her ass.”

Adora laughed weakly. She appreciated the joke but, “there’s nothing either of us could really do. I don’t want to cause a scene and ruin the wedding. Mara and Hope have been waiting so long to get married, and I want today to be perfect for them.”

“And it will be,” Catra promised her, “we’ll go, have a good time, and act like your mom isn’t even there. And I know it sucks that you have to act like that, but until you feel comfortable talking to her, you don’t have to.”

“Yeah,” Adora answered sadly, then took a deep breath and nodded, “okay. I’m ready.”

Catra smiled at her softly, and Adora remembered her words from last night. Something in her chest felt that little bit lighter, and when Catra offered out her hand, Adora didn’t hesitate to take it as they walked to the car. 

The ride towards the wedding venue was quiet, but not in a bad way. The cab driver didn’t seem like he wanted to talk, which was fine by Adora; she didn't feel much like talking either. Catra seemed to understand that, and simply held Adora's hand in the backseat the whole way there.

It wasn’t the longest drive, but not the shortest, either. Mara and Hope hadn’t wanted to get married in a church for relatively obvious reasons, so they’d chosen a fancy hotel on the outskirts of town, one with sprawling lawns decorated with blooming flowers and a gorgeous canopy where the seating was set up. Adora was glad that it was a sunny day - she couldn’t imagine an outdoor ceremony in the pouring rain.

As they pulled up, Catra hummed appreciatively. “Damn, this place is nice. Glad I don’t have to step into a church, I’d probably burst into flames.”

Adora laughed quietly, thanking the driver and paying him, before they both got out of the car. There were guests making their way into the venue, a lot of people that Adora didn’t recognise. Hope’s family, and her aunts’ friends. 

Adora hung back a little and held out her hand for Catra again. Catra took it gently, and Adora looked her up and down quite obviously before she admitted, red staining her cheeks, “you look amazing, by the way. I’m sorry I haven’t said it sooner.”

Catra shrugged, “you had a lot on your mind,” she waved the apology away, “besides, I always look amazing.”

It was a joke, but Adora didn’t take it that way. “You do,” she said sincerely, and then, “thanks for coming to this with me. I know there’s probably something else you could be doing with your Saturday, but–”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Don’t thank me. I wanted to come.”

Adora nodded, and started leading them towards the hotel entrance, away from the seating area outside. She had to find Mara before the wedding started, being a bridesmaid and all. “Why did you say yes?”

“Why did you ask me?” Catra retorted, not answering the question, exactly the way Adora had expected. “Because I’m willing to bet that we have the same reasons.”

“Okay,” Adora dragged the word out, disbelieving that entirely, “not like you had a whole girlfriend or anything.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “By that point, I knew I was going to break up with her. And obviously I knew why I wanted to; because for some reason, I like you. Or whatever.”

Adora just smiled in response, leading Catra through the hotel. She hadn’t spotted her family yet, and she was dreading the moment she did, but for now, she felt okay. 

She finally found Mara and Hope in the hotel’s ballroom, which had already been set up for the reception later. “Hey, guys,” she called out, and then realised, “wait, you’re not supposed to see each other. That’s a thing, right?”

Mara just laughed, pulling Adora in for a hug. “Forget the rules. Thank you for coming.”

As Mara let go of her and Hope hugged her, Adora rolled her eyes into her aunt’s shoulder when Hope murmured, “cute date,” in her ear.

“Oh, you guys look adorable,” Mara said as she took in the sight of Adora and Catra together, Catra in her suit and Adora in the bridesmaid’s dress that she and Mara had gone shopping for.

“Yeah,” Hope agreed, looking Catra over, “you clean up nice, kid.”

Despite the cocky way she’d answered when Adora had complimented her, Catra blushed embarrassedly and murmured a quiet, “thanks.”

“So, Adora, the rest of the wedding party is waiting just through here until we’re ready to go,” Mara said, looking over at Catra, “Hope will show you to your seat, Catra.”

This was the part that Adora was dreading. Her mother was Mara’s maid of honour, because for some reason she’d said yes when Mara asked her. Which meant she’d be in that room, if she was here yet. And Catra wasn’t in the wedding party with her, which meant that she’d have to face her alone.

“Sounds good,” Catra said, glancing over at Adora carefully. Because she picked up on how Adora was feeling, she asked, “quick word before I go?”

“Yeah,” Adora nodded, and she let Catra lead her a little way away, so Mara and Hope were out of earshot. Before Catra could say anything, Adora said quickly, “I’m okay.”

“You’re nervous, but that’s okay,” Catra said, “because whatever happens, you can handle it. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“Thanks,” Adora murmured, and she pulled Catra in for a tight hug. Into her shoulder, Catra whispered, you got this, and Adora squeezed her a little tighter before letting go. “I’ll see you after the ceremony.”

“See you then,” Catra flashed a smile, and as she followed Hope back the way they came, she called over her shoulder, “you look pretty amazing too, by the way.”

Once they were gone, and Adora’s cheeks were sufficiently red, Mara smirked at her. “So, she’s totally your date, right?”

Adora rolled her eyes, “shut up. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, come on, tell me the truth,” Mara teased, “Hope and I have been rooting for you two since you were kids.”

“Wait, what?” Adora said, stopping in her tracks. “You guys knew that we–I mean, we weren’t together, we never have been, but… I mean, sometimes I don’t know if we’ve ever been totally platonic? I don’t know, just–you knew how I felt about her?”

“We were never sure about you,” Mara said, “but Catra was always obvious. To be honest, she still is.”

Something fluttered in Adora’s chest, and if she hadn’t heard Catra say the words last night, she might’ve hurriedly denied it. Instead, she just smiled. “Yeah. Sometimes she is.”

Mara smiled, squeezing her arm gently. “I’m happy for you, kid. Whether you’re secretly together or just friends like you keep claiming.”

They were just friends. Just friends who were openly in love with each other. Catra had told her she wanted more, but she’d had a lot of tequila that night, and Adora didn’t want to push. Frankly, though, she was getting a little impatient. One of these days, she was going to end up grabbing Catra and kissing her senseless, consequences be damned.

“It’s… complicated, I guess,” Adora said, “but not in a bad way. I guess we’re just taking things slow, you know? I don’t–I don’t want to lose her again.”

“I don’t think you could,” Mara smiled, and left it at that as she took Adora where she needed to go.

Whatever good mood Adora had managed to salvage after that conversation with Mara disappeared when she joined the rest of the wedding party. Her mother was already there, as well as her brother, and they locked eyes across the room. Marlena moved, like she was going to come and talk to her, and Adora turned and swiftly walked away, trying to find somewhere she could sit in peace, away from any drama.

Naturally, her mother followed her. “Adora… can we please talk?”

Adora acted like her mother hadn’t spoken, sinking down on the worn leather couch a good distance away from everyone else. If she opened her mouth, she couldn’t guarantee that the words that would come out would be civil. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, but forced them back, lest she end up looking like a sad raccoon as they preceded Mara down the aisle.

“Mom, give her some space,” Adam said, stepping between them, “she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.”

Adora chanced a look up. Marlena was looking at her brother helplessly. “But I just–”

“I’m serious, mom,” Adam interrupted her, “you’ve been an asshole ever since she came out, and I think the least you could do is give Adora some space and wait until she’s ready to talk to you.”

Adora expected an argument, or at least for her mom to tell her brother he couldn’t talk to her in that tone. Instead, she just sighed, looked right at Adora like she was trying to communicate telepathically with her, and turned around and left.

Adora didn’t know if she was imagining things when it looked like her mom was sorry. She decided not to think about it yet. She just had to get through this part of the wedding, and she could avoid her mom all she wanted once she was at the reception.

“You okay?” Adam asked, sinking down next to her. “That’s probably a stupid question, but—"

“It’s not stupid,” Adora sighed, and put on a weak smile. It was weak, but it wasn’t fake, at least. “I’m… I’m mostly alright. Obviously, I’m not great, but… it’s something I’ll deal with later.”

“For the record, I think it’s fucked up, the way she’s been treating you,” Adam said, looking across the room at their mother. Adora didn’t follow his gaze. She didn’t doubt that Marlena was looking right at her. “Dad’s mad at her too. But I think it’s made her realise that she fucked up, you know?”

He was saying it to give her hope, and she knew that. “Maybe.”

“Are you going to come home with us tonight?” Adam asked, “maybe you guys can talk stuff out after the wedding and everything, when we get home.”

“No,” Adora shook her head. Even if Marlena somehow managed to corner her today and speak with her, whatever happened, she was going back to Catra’s tonight. “I’m staying with Catra. And her not-homophobic mom.”

Adam grimaced, but he seemed to understand that Adora didn’t really want to talk - or think - about things right now. “That’s cool. Whatever happens, you know I’ve got your back, right?”

“Yeah,” Adora managed a proper smile, and pulled her brother in for a hug, “I know. Thanks.”

The ceremony was a beautiful one. Adora was paired with her brother to precede Mara down the aisle, and she was fully aware of her mother right behind her the entire time. Thankfully, she felt a lot better once she saw Catra right in the front row, and once she sat down, she didn’t hesitate at all before she took Catra’s hand.

Catra sent her a look, and Adora knew what she was asking. “I’m okay,” she whispered, before the ceremony started. 

Catra held her hand for the entire thing, like she knew Adora needed it. Her mom was far too close, and it was like she could feel her staring. She was probably angry that Adora was holding Catra’s hand, despite the literal gay wedding they were attending.

Once the ceremony concluded and Mara and Hope kissed, Adora was quick to get up and join them for photos, keeping a good distance from her mother as she did.

“Oh, Serenia, get one of Adora and Catra,” Mara said to her friend, who was taking the photos, “they just look so cute.”

Adora knew she was blushing, and she knew her mother was probably fuming at the comment. But Adora didn’t let it bother her and pulled Catra close for the pictures.

“Just so you know, it’s absolutely me who’s the cute one,” Catra murmured into her ear, and Adora laughed at just the right moment, just as Serenia snapped another picture.

Mara smiled at Adora knowingly, and Adora rolled her eyes back. “Okay, that one will be so cute. No question about it.”

“So gay, you mean,” Hope said before Adora could reply, and if anything, it made Adora blush even more. Catra snickered, and Adora reached out to shove her lightly, but Catra just dodged her and smirked.

She couldn’t enjoy the teasing for long as Mara and Hope beckoned more people forwards for pictures. As she was attempting to catch up Catra, she accidentally caught her mother’s gaze, and suddenly felt nauseated.

“Adora—” Marlena started, and Adora almost let her speak. But then her mother’s gaze glanced down just as fingers slipped between hers.

Adora jumped, tearing her gaze away from her mother’s. “Let’s go inside,” Catra said quietly, “I have a feeling you’ll be taking advantage of that open bar.”

“As much as I want to,” Adora murmured, “I couldn’t do that to you. Don’t want to make you deal with insanely drunk Adora. She’s a little floppy.”

“I can imagine,” Catra snorted, “but don’t worry about that. I’m here to look out for you, and I won’t let you embarrass yourself. Too much, anyway.”

“Maybe just one drink,” Adora relented, following a few other wedding-goers inside and through to the ballroom they’d found Mara and Hope in earlier. “Do you have a fake ID?”

“If my mami asks, I would never do something so illegal,” Catra said, but she stuck her free hand into her jacket pocket and pulled one out, “but if the bartender asks, I’m twenty-three.”

“Damn, you’re older than me,” Adora commented, pulling her own out of her purse, “mine says I’m twenty-two. Anyway, I thought Cyra was fine with you drinking.”

“Responsibly, with liquor she provides so she knows how much I’m doing it,” Catra shrugged, “honestly, I don’t really care about drinking anyway, but Scorpia made me get a fake when she got hers. She tempted me with a gay bar.”

“A gay bar?” Adora blinked, “we have a gay bar?”

“Yup,” Catra nodded, “we could go one night, if you want.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, “that’d be really cool, actually.”

“Cool,” Catra answered, and as they walked up to the bar, she nudged Adora lightly and added, “it’s a date.”

Before Adora could even register that, Catra had already turned to the bartender and ordered herself a rum and coke.

Because Adora was in the wedding party, naturally they were seated at the big table. And because Marlena was in the wedding party, she was seated with them. Adora was grateful she had somewhat of a buffer, with her brother on one side and Catra on the other.

Dinner was lovely, and despite how uneasy Adora felt with her mother so close, she tried to ignore her and have a good time with Catra.

When it got to the speeches, however, it was a little harder. With her mom being maid of honour, she was pretty much required to make a speech. And knowing how she felt, the way she’d made Mara stay closeted, Adora wasn’t looking forward to hearing it. Frankly, Adora didn’t understand why Mara had even invited her.

She certainly wouldn't have.

“I had a speech prepared, but I’ve decided I’m not going to use it,” Marlena started, “so I’m sorry if it’s a little short. To be entirely honest, I wasn’t sure if I should be speaking today. Mara, when you asked me to be your maid of honour, I honestly wasn’t sure what to say. I think we both know that… that I’ve never been the most supportive. So, I’d like to start by congratulating you. You might not believe me—actually, you probably won’t—but I am genuinely happy for both you and Hope.

“I remember when you finally got the courage to come out. You came to me before anyone else, and I… I pushed you away, because I didn’t understand, and didn’t want to understand. For me, the way we’d been raised on such traditional values, it felt like there wasn’t even a question—that what you were doing was wrong. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, and I’m sorry that it’s taken as much as it has for me to realise that. It’s taken…”

Marlena paused, and Adora watched her suspiciously, wondering what the hell this was all about. This was the last thing she’d expected—if anything, she figured her mom would get up there, say a lame, forced congratulations, and leave.

This was entirely unexpected.

“It’s taken alienating my own daughter for me to understand that I was the one in the wrong. That I am the one in the wrong. I met both of you with silence, distance, and disappointment, when I should’ve been the one there to protect you.

“So…” Marlena paused again, took a breath, and Adora felt her gaze land upon her. She didn’t meet it. “To my little sister – I love you. You’ve had every right to cut me out of your life with the way you’ve been treated, and you’ve always been so patient and understanding when I genuinely didn’t deserve it. To Hope – thank you for being there for Mara, and giving her the love she deserves.

“And to my daughter,” Marlena waited, and Adora knew her mom was waiting to see if she was really listening. She didn’t give her anything. “I am so lucky to be your mother. You are perfect, exactly the way you are, and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel as though you’re not enough. If you’ll let me, I’ll spend every single day making it up to you.

“Thank you so much, everyone,” Adora chanced a look up when she felt her mother’s gaze move away. Marlena was raising her glass, and she addressed the wedding guests as she said, “to Mara and Hope, and to choosing love, no matter how it may come.”

As the wedding guests applauded, Adora squinted at her mother as she sat down, wondering what the hell her angle was. She turned to Catra to ask her what she thought, and Catra was already looking at her.

“I think you should talk to her,” Catra whispered, “when you’re ready.”

Adora bit down on her bottom lip, wondering if she could ever trust that her mother really was changing, or if she was merely saying things for forgiveness. Adora would always be wondering if her mom was saying horrible things behind her back.

“Maybe,” Adora said as Mara and Hope started heading out onto the dancefloor for their first dance. “It’s just—” Adora cut herself off with a sigh, “haven’t I given her enough chances? It shouldn’t take me cutting her off for her to realise maybe she’s wrong.”

“I know,” Catra squeezed her hand gently, and the frustration headache that Adora could feel coming on subsided, “but at least maybe she’s realised. Would you rather she didn’t? Just stick to being homophobic?”

“I wish I hadn’t had to deal with all of this in the first place,” Adora muttered bitterly, “I wish she would’ve just accepted me. Why couldn’t she be like your mom?”

Before Catra could say anything to that, Adora added quickly, “I don’t mean to sound like a jealous asshole, it’s just…”

“Hey, we all get the cards we’re dealt,” Catra shrugged, “I used to be jealous of the fact that you had both your mom and your dad. And then I actually met my dad, and he turned out to be a homophobic asshole, so… not that mad about it anymore.”

“You never told me about that,” Adora said quietly, “why didn’t you?”

Catra shrugged. “Happened a couple of years ago. I’m over it. But like I said, I told you I’d heard worse than a few snide passive aggressive comments from your mom.”

Adora glanced over to the dancefloor, where other people were joining Mara and Hope. She watched as her brother stood up and pulled Teela with him and felt a strange wave of confidence.

“Well,” Adora stood up and held out a hand for Catra, “let’s show them that we don’t care. May I have this dance?”

Catra looked at her, and slowly, a small smile spread across her face. She reached up and took Adora’s hand. “You may.”

Adora grinned and pulled her over to the dancefloor, and then suddenly realised she had no idea how to slow dance with somebody. Catra laughed, clearly reading that from the stunned look on her face, and took Adora’s hands in hers, guiding them to her waist.

Then, she gently placed her hands on Adora’s shoulders. “Just relax,” Catra told her, “and sway to the music. I’m not expecting ballroom champion quality here.”

“Okay,” Adora said, and slowly got into the swing of it, swaying with Catra to the slow rhythm of the music. “Thanks for coming with me. I know I already said that, but… I appreciate it. And this is… this is really nice. I’ve never slow danced with a girl before. Or, well, with anyone before.”

“Happy to be your first,” Catra hummed in agreement, “makes me look forward to our prom date.”

Adora felt those butterflies flutter in her stomach. A year ago, she never thought she’d be friends with Catra again, let alone slow dancing and talking about going to prom together.

“You really mean that?” Adora asked, “like… prom being a date?”

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” Catra said, flashing her a soft smile, “but let’s talk about that later. I have somewhere I want to take you after this, anyway.”

That put Adora’s plan of getting good and drunk out of the window, but she didn’t mind at all. “Can we go now?”

Catra laughed. “Patience is a virtue.”

“Um, did you miss the last five months?” Adora rolled her eyes, “I’ve been the most patient person on the planet.”

“Then you can wait a couple more hours,” Catra shrugged easily, “l believe in you.”

“Ugh,” Adora sighed irritably, but she couldn’t keep the ruse up. She was too happy, knowing that something – whatever it was – was going to happen. “Fine.”

Catra laughed, and then suddenly she was closer, her head rested on Adora’s shoulder as she swayed with her to the music. “You know your mom is watching us, right?”

Adora shrugged. “I don’t care. If she meant what she said in her speech, then it shouldn’t bother her to see me happy.”

“I’m proud of you, you know,” Catra said, “it’s not easy to get to the point where you really don’t care what people think when it comes to this stuff. I’d know.”

“Thanks,” Adora held her a little tighter, “it means a lot. Especially from you.”

As the song ended, Adora reluctantly let go of Catra and nodded towards the doors. “I’m just going to run to the bathroom. Get me a soda from the bar?”

Catra raised her eyebrows. “A soda? No booze?”

“Not if you’re taking me somewhere after this,” Adora shrugged, “I want to remember every second of it if it’s what I’m thinking.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking,” Catra smirked, “but I don’t put out on the first date.”

Adora spluttered and felt herself cheeks flood with heat. Catra cackled, and Adora shoved her lightly and muttered, “did you really have to do that?”

“Yeah,” Catra grinned, “it’s too fun.”

“You’re such a brat,” Adora groaned, and turned away to head off the dance floor, “I might not go with you later if you’re going to be an asshole.”

Catra shrugged, “fine, make yourself wait even longer, then.”

“I know you wouldn’t do that to me,” Adora said, and then because she couldn’t help herself, she took Catra’s hand in hers and squeezed it lightly, “because you love me.”

“Pffft,” Catra scoffed, rolling her eyes, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now go to the bathroom, weirdo.”

As Catra turned and headed towards the bar, Adora stood for a moment, just watching her, a warm feeling in her stomach. It was hard to believe that she was this happy, after everything that had happened last night.

She made her way to the bathroom, and when she was done and checking herself over in the mirror - she wanted to look good for Catra, obviously - the door swung open. Naturally, Adora looked up to see who it was, and felt a little sick when she saw it was her mom.

“Adora, can we please talk?” Marlena said, just as Adora pushed herself away from the sinks and made to leave. “I really am sorry—”

“That doesn’t mean anything if you’re not going to change,” Adora interrupted, “if you’re not going to try. Because I’ve been so fucking patient with you when I shouldn’t have to have been, because you’re supposed to love and accept me no matter what. And you don’t. Can’t you see how that makes me feel?”

“I want to try,” Marlena said, “I mean that. I really do. What you said last night, it—I’m so sorry for making you feel like I don’t—like I don’t love you. You’re my daughter, of course I do. It’s just that—you haven’t made it easy for me—”

Adora scoffed. “Oh, that’s rich. So it’s my fault. My fault that you’ve barely spoken to me over the last few months, my fault that you’ve been horrible to Catra when she hasn't done a single thing wrong, my fault that you treated Mara even worse than you treated me. No, mom, it’s your fault for being ignorant and not bothering to think that maybe you’re the one in the wrong. It shouldn't have taken last night to make you realise that.”

“I know I’m the one in the wrong, I didn’t mean it like that,” Marlena cut herself off with a sigh, “I just meant—you didn’t even give me time. You dropped it on us and walked out. You don’t seem to understand that it’s terrifying for me. That someone could try to hurt you because of this, that—that you could be killed for it. You should’ve heard the way they used to talk about Mara... I just didn’t want that for you. I just—”

“Wanted me to be normal, like you always have,” Adora snapped, “always trying to get me to hang out with Adam and his perfect friends at school when we were kids, always trying to pull me away from Catra. I mean, god, you were even weird about me having dyslexia. Because I’m not the perfect daughter you imagined, right? I’m always going to be a disappointment to you, and to be honest, I don’t even care anymore.”

She went to push past her mother, to leave and find Catra and get the hell out of here, but Marlena grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Adora, please, just listen to me. I told you, I want to try, and I’m sorry. You’re not a disappointment to me. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to grow up into a happy, confident young woman, and I know I went about it in the wrong way.”

“Yeah,” Adora muttered, “you did.”

“I love you,” Marlena said, “can we please talk civilly?”

Adora let a long sigh out through her nose, knowing it would be hard, and knowing that she didn’t particularly want to right now. “I don’t know. I’m not—I’m still really mad at you.”

“I understand that,” Marlena answered, and she looked at Adora with slightly watery eyes, like she was going to cry, “promise me that you’ll come to me when you’re ready?”

“I don’t know,” Adora repeated, “promise me that you’ll actually make an effort? And not just with me, but with Catra too. She’s not my girlfriend, but… but she’s going to be, and I’ve been terrified of you scaring her away. I know you don’t like her, but she makes me happy, and I love her, and you need to respect that. And her.”

“I promise,” Marlena said, and Adora almost believed her, “and it’s not that I don’t like Catra. It’s just—she was always so possessive over you when you were younger, and it wasn’t healthy, how codependent you were. I was just worried that she was holding you back.”

“And you’re still worried about that?” Adora challenged, “or have you just been horrible to her because you think she turned me gay? Because fun fact, mom, I’ve always been in love with her. She was literally the first person I ever kissed, and I’ve never felt anything like that since. She’s my person, and she always has been. I don’t even care about the stuff you say to me anymore, but if you say anything bad to her, or about her, I’ll walk out again.”

“I told you, I’ll try,” Marlena sighed, “I don’t dislike Catra at all. She’s always been very polite with me and your dad. And I—I have seen, today, how… how happy she makes you. I promise you, Adora, I’m going to try to get used to all of this. But it’s just—it’s a big change, that’s all.”

“Not really,” Adora deadpanned, “I’ve always been gay. You’d probably have noticed if you paid any attention.”

“You had a boyfriend,” Marlena said, “forgive me for thinking that you actually liked him.”

“The only reason I did that was because I thought it was what you and dad wanted,” Adora said tiredly, “I just didn’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“You haven’t,” Marlena said, and when Adora looked at her disbelievingly, she tried a smile, “I mean that. Neither me nor your dad are disappointed in you. In fact, I think your dad is over the moon about the whole thing.”

Adora snorted. “If he thinks Catra is going to be easier to give the whole threatening dad speech to, he’s got another thing coming. She’ll probably just laugh at him.”

Quickly, she remembered that she’s supposed to be mad, and tensed up again, turning towards the door. Before she could say that she didn’t want to talk anymore, and they’d deal with the whole thing later, the bathroom door opened again, and Catra was standing there.

Like an innate reaction, Adora relaxed. Catra’s gaze flicked between Adora and her mother, and the first thing out of her mouth was, “are you okay?”

Adora looked at her mom, daring her to say something negative. When she didn’t say anything at all, Adora sighed and nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. Let’s get out of here.”

“You sure?” Catra asked, and Adora nodded again. “Okay. We’ll go find Mara and Hope and say goodbye.”

Adora reached out and took Catra’s hand, and Catra squeezed it once gently. As they turned to leave, she paused in the doorway and looked at her mom. “If you really meant what you said, then I need to see it. And then maybe we’ll be okay again.”

It was quiet as they pushed the door open, but then Marlena spoke. But not to Adora.

“Catra,” Marlena said, and Catra paused, glancing at Adora a little confusedly before turning around, “thank you for looking out for Adora. And I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel unwelcome over the last few months.”

Adora had to admit that she was a little impressed. She’d never really heard her mom apologise for anything before.

“It’s okay,” Catra said, “and I never need to be thanked for looking out for Adora. I love her.”

Hearing Catra say it so casually made something in Adora’s heart judder. Marlena didn’t look disgusted like Adora thought she might, so she guessed that was progress.

“Well then,” Marlena said, “I trust that you won’t break my daughter’s heart.”

Like Adora had predicted, just in a different context, Catra laughed. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. I think we’ve gotten all the heartbreak out of our systems.”

“Yeah,” Adora agreed quietly, a silent promise that she wouldn’t mess up, that she wouldn’t hurt Catra, “we have.”

“So, it seems like there’s been some progress.”

Adora knew that Catra would bring it up, but she was surprised that she’d waited so long. They were halfway back to Catra’s place, and Catra had insisted on walking rather than calling a cab. Adora didn’t know why, but she wasn’t complaining; Catra hadn’t let go of her hand since they left the wedding venue.

“Yeah,” Adora said, “hopefully, anyway. I mean, she wasn’t looking at you like she wanted to strangle you, so…”

Catra snorted, “that, and she apologised to me. Hopefully she apologised to you too?”

“Yeah,” Adora confirmed, “but an apology isn’t enough, really. Like I told her, I need to see her trying. And I guess she’s making a start on it.”

“That’s good,” Catra squeezed her hand, “it can only get better from here. Might take some time, but I do think she loves you enough to try.”

Adora hummed, and she actually felt a little positive about it all. Much better than she’d felt this morning, anyway.

“So,” Adora started, changing the subject, “why exactly did you want to walk home?”

“You’ll see,” Catra shrugged, smiling elusively, “the place I want to take you would look really sketchy from a cab driver’s perspective.”

“Okay,” Adora dragged the word out, “now I’m sketched out.”

Catra laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to sacrifice you to Satan until we get back home.”

“Oh, so all that stuff you said to my mom about not hurting me was a total lie, then?” Adora raised her eyebrows. “I see.”

“Well, duh,” Catra laughed, “couldn’t let her thwart my master plan. I've been laying the groundwork for months now.”

“Alright, seriously, though,” Adora said, “where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” Catra repeated, “stop being impatient. We’re nearly there.”

Catra pulled her down a back street, and Adora was wondering why they had to go to some shady location. But then they came out onto the sidewalk of the next street over, and Adora recognised something. Something from a long time ago.

They stopped at the base of the tree that they’d once carved their names into, and Catra looked right at her and said, “climb.”

Adora blinked and gestured over herself. Mostly over the dress she was wearing. “I’m in a dress and heels.”

“That’s why I want you to go first,” Catra smirked, “it’ll be a nice view.”

Adora blushed, rolling her eyes and kicking her heels off. “Perv.”

“You love it,” Catra smirked, and once Adora started making her way up the tree, Catra followed her. “Stop when you see it.”

Adora kept an eye out and wondered how high they really could’ve climbed when they were kids. Even though back then, it had seemed like they were at the highest peak in the world, they hadn’t climbed much higher than ten feet.

She saw the carving in the bark and pulled herself up onto the branch, swinging around to sit. Catra wasn’t far behind her, and Adora held out a hand and helped pull her up. Catra turned so they were sitting side by side, and after admiring her side profile for a few moments, Adora looked over at the almost decade old carving.  

“Last time we were up here, it felt so much higher,” Adora said, “like we could see everything. But I guess that’s how it works when you’re a kid. Everything seems bigger.”

Catra hummed in agreement. “That actually wasn’t the last time I came up here.”

“What?” Adora frowned, “but we only came here that one time. You decided to stab the tree, and we talked about… you asked me if I ever thought about boys.”

Catra let out a breath that was almost a laugh. “Yeah. I think I was testing the waters, trying to figure out if you maybe liked me the way I liked you. You said you didn’t think about them, and… I don’t know, I was a dumb kid, but maybe it gave me hope or something. It was so confusing, like, all the time. Sometimes you’d do stuff and I’d think, maybe she likes me too, maybe I’m not the only one like this, some messed up freak who likes girls instead of boys.

“And then other times you’d do things that’d hurt me, without even realising it. Like when you asked to practice kissing. I was terrified, because I thought you might realise that I liked you and it would freak you out, and I never—I never wanted to lose you.” She added quickly, “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I just—never knew where I stood with you, ever.

“And then we started high school, and things were fine at first. My mami knew everything, and I felt a little better about the whole gay thing because she was so understanding about it. I think I was almost getting to a point where I was going to tell you. Not about how I felt, obviously, I never intended on you ever finding that out. But at least… coming out to you?”

Adora’s throat knotted. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, don’t do that,” Catra rolled her eyes, “like I said, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. You were a kid, and you had your own subconscious gay panic shit going on.”

“It still doesn’t make it okay,” Adora said quietly, feeling a little nauseated, “you don’t know how badly I always wished I could go back. Fix things. I was your best friend; you should’ve been able to come out to me on your own terms.”

“Well… I’m gay,” Catra said, and Adora rolled her eyes, “there you go. Now console me while I cry in your arms all dramatically.”

Adora let out a laugh, but it was weak. “You know what I meant.”

“Come on, I was just trying to get a smile out of you,” Catra flashed one, and it was impossible not to smile back, at least a little bit. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, alright? What happened is done, and I’m not mad at you for it. Just… giving you my side of things, I guess. So you know why it’s taken me so long.”

Adora nodded, promising herself she wouldn’t get upset. “Taken you so long to do what?”

“You’ll see,” Catra repeated for the third time, “but I think you already know.”

“Maybe,” Adora murmured, “okay. Go on.”

“So, I was thinking about maybe coming out to you,” Catra started again, “but then things got weird. Suddenly, it was like you never wanted to be alone with me. You stopped hugging me, holding my hand, kept a two-foot radius away from me as much as you could like I had rabies or something. We’d never exactly had much of a concept of personal space before, so it was so fucking weird. I remember one time in class, we accidentally bumped elbows, and you jumped like you’d just been burned. And it didn’t take me long to figure out why you were suddenly, like, afraid of me.

“I knew that you’d figured it out. You knew how I felt and it terrified you. I hated myself for that. The last thing I ever wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable, and I’d promised myself I would never tell you how I felt about you,” Catra sighed, “so I stopped trying. Decided to just leave you alone, let you shake me off like you clearly wanted. It hurt so fucking much, to see you laughing it up with your new friends, knowing that you were fine without me.

“It made me feel like I’d never been good enough for you,” Catra admitted, “I’d always felt like I was weird, regardless of the whole gay thing. I was a year younger than everyone, and really introverted, but I’d always thought that even if I didn’t fit in with everyone else, at least I fit in with you. Losing you made me feel so isolated. And angry.

“I was angry at you more than anything,” Catra pulled her tux jacket tighter around herself and looked up at her, “told myself I hated you, even though we both know that’s not true. I was so angry, for so long, and after you finally stopped trying to get me to talk to you after that big fight, I decided that I was going to cut you out of my life in every aspect.

“So, I came up here,” Catra said, “snuck out of my bedroom window in the middle of the night after snatching a knife from the kitchen. But then I got up here, and even though I was so dead set on taking that knife and scratching that carving out of existence, I couldn’t do it. I sat up here for a while, and it was the first time I actually let myself cry about everything. I let everything out that I’d kept bottled up, all the anger and the grief – because honestly, it was kind of like my best friend had died – and afterwards… I felt better.

“I didn’t feel like I’d moved on or anything, because let’s be real, I never really did,” Catra laughed a little, and Adora felt okay to laugh with her, “but I felt like… like I’d accepted what happened, you know? I felt like I was in a place where I could move on, with time. I always thought I had, always thought that I didn’t give a fuck about you or whatever you were doing, but whenever anyone mentioned your name, I’d always feel like I was paying attention.

“But then you showed up at my house one night, and all of that rage came flooding back. Obviously, I thought you were just some homophobic straight girl who screwed me up, but then you told my bedroom door the truth, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t want to let you back in, but it was like it was the only thing I could think about.

“I obsessed over it for months. Should I talk to you? Should I try to help you? Or do I just keep ignoring you and hope that I’ll stop thinking about it when I move away to college?” Catra looked over at her and flashed a soft smile. “But then I saw you moping at the winter dance, and you looked so sad and pathetic that I honestly felt sorry for you.”

“Wow, thanks,” Adora replied sarcastically, “I did always wonder why you talked to me that night. It seemed so random.”

“I’m glad I managed to play off my months of agonising debate so smoothly,” Catra shrugged easily, “I guess I just thought that if I offered you an olive branch, someone to talk to about the stuff you were dealing with, then it would be off my shoulders. The ball would be in your court, and I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore.

“The last thing I expected was for you to show up at my house in your stupid giraffe socks and tell me you were in love with me. Present tense.”

“You know I spent so long trying not to deal with that, but once I actually told you that I still had feelings for you too, I got scared again,” Catra admitted, “I mean… I had my best friend back. I didn’t want to wreck it, even though I knew for a fact that this time everything was mutual. I remembered how badly it hurt the last time, and I didn’t want to go through that again, but a thousand times worse.

“But then you told me that you were scared, too. That you were thinking the exact same things that I was, but you wanted to be brave and say fuck it and do it anyway. That made me feel better, honestly. So, I started dreaming up all of these stupidly romantic ways that I was going to ask you out, but none of them seemed right.”

“Eventually, though, that genius IQ finally kicked in and I thought about doing this. Bringing you here. It was simple – like, really simple – but it felt right. When we came up here, you promised me you’d never forget me for some smelly boy,” Adora laughed quietly, and Catra smiled, reaching out to take her hand, “in a way, you were kind of promising me that we’d always be together. And to be totally honest? I’m holding you to that.”

“You know what I was really thinking when we were up here?” Adora asked, even though she knew that Catra didn’t, “you were sat where I am now, and the sunlight cut through the trees, and I remember thinking that you were the only thing I’d ever need to be happy.”

Catra snorted. “Wow, cheesy, much?”

“Shut up,” Adora rolled her eyes, “not like you brought me here for a grand romantic gesture or anything.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Catra shrugged, “who are you again?”

“I’m Adora,” Adora said, “the girl you like.”

“I don’t like you,” Catra snorted with laughter, but then her expression softened, and she admitted quietly, “I love you.”

“I know,” Adora smiled, “I love you too.”

“So,” Catra started, “are you going to kiss me, or what?”

Adora’s stomach flipped hopefully. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Catra nodded, and she looked up at Adora, a small smile toying at the corners of her mouth, “really.”

Adora swallowed nervously. Catra was just looking at her with those gorgeous kaleidoscope eyes, and Adora’s heart was hammering against her ribcage. She looked so beautiful it was impossible not to kiss her. 

And this time she didn’t have to hold herself back.

She didn’t know who made the move first. Looking back on it, she thought that maybe they both did, meeting in the middle. 

Catra’s lips were just as soft as she remembered. They fit against her own perfectly, like they were made for her. Those fireworks that she’d felt all those years ago, when they’d nervously kissed for the first time, reignited. Every nerve in her body felt like it had been set alight as Catra’s fingers locked at the nape of her neck, and Adora slid her hands around Catra’s waist as she took the lead and deepened the kiss.

It was everything she'd been missing for the last three years.

It was everything she’d been missing her whole life.

They pulled back, but not by much. Adora kept her eyes closed, her forehead rested against Catra’s, and wanted to let the moment last a little longer. And then Catra finally said it.

“Be my girlfriend,” she murmured, and Adora’s eyes blinked open, pulling back just enough to look at her and see the words written on her face. Catra met her gaze and smiled, “I love you, and I’m sick of loving you and not really having you. Be my girlfriend.”

Adora’s stomach flipped, and she reached out and carefully took Catra’s hand in her own. “Do I even need to answer? Yes. A thousand times over.”

Catra gripped her hand tightly and looked out onto the moonlit town sprawled ahead of them. Then, she squeezed her hand three times and leaned over to kiss her again, just off the corner of her mouth.

“Alright,” she said finally, flashing a blushing Adora a gentle smile, “come on. Let’s go home.”