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I’m never doing that again.
Chris groaned as he barely stayed afloat in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. His head hurts. His vision is fuzzy, and he needs help, fast. Even if Piers calls him a furnace, he’s definitely feeling the chill soaking here trying to stay afloat at sea. The alcohol induced flush was not doing him any favours either.
The costume party bash on a boat was a mistake perhaps, in hindsight. Then again, hindsight is 20/20. Barry and Kathy did an incredible job of keeping the bar stocked and running, and the atmosphere of the night was positively rocking and rolling with the waves, the hilarious costumes everyone was spotting kicking away just that last touch of inhibition anyone might have harboured.
And then it got wild.
The day started off on a hilarious note when, like any party, the inevitable costume clashed happened.
“’Tis my outfit Leon yer salty bilge drinking swab, I have sported it earlier than thou.” Pirate Captain Valentine said, arms folded peering at the blonde agent, their tricorne hats almost touching.
“Aye aye ayeeiii Capt’n my Capt’n, that just means we’re a natural pair.” Leon retorted, trying to brush his hair out of his eyes for the thirty second time. It had only been five minutes. He remembered why he hated hats.
“If I wasn’t so thirsty I shall challenge you to a fight on deck.” She said menacingly, deathly stares from icy blue eyes almost making Leon pop goosebumps all over.
“Nice… booty.” The dirty blonde said, earning himself a much deserved elbow in the ribs.
Thus this was the sight Claire was treated to at her entrance, and promptly burst into a fit of giggling. Jill had a stuffed parrot on her shoulder while Leon sported a wide eyed raven. Even the birds looked like they were glaring at each other.
“Hey look who’s here!” Leon turned at the welcomed distraction and looked Claire up and down, from her broad brimmed hat and tall cowboy boots. He gulped and took half his drink. “My dear my dear...”
“Howdy partner, wetting ua whistle already?” She grabbed a passing keg and exchanged a cheer.
“Just warming up. You look… stunning.” He said, eyeing her exposed midriff.
“Hey fudgehead.” Moira appeared behind Claire, katana on her waist with a samurai hoody.
“Moira, out to stab a few fellas in their heart tonight?” Leon gave an appreciative whistle.
“Fat chance of that. Dad’s watching me like a.. err, raven. The wrong boy touches me though and he’d be missing a few prized bits.” She smiled, then reaching a hand to pet the stuffed bird. “That’s a nice touch! You have quite the bird there! It’s bigger than I remembered.”
“Yo hairyface. Nice dress. Owww!” The young snarky voice, smack and sound of pain announced the arrival of Jake and Sherry. Sherry has his ear pinched, their height difference if anything caused more pain to the taller of the pair.
“Holy shit dude… is that a real tail?” Moira couldn’t help herself, swing around the back to play with the tail swinging around widely behind Jake’s bare chested full body leopard suit.
“You make an amazing Furry dudebro.” She said. “I’d have friends who’d jump you if they saw you like that. But you need some real manly carpet on your chest, like Dad’s.”
“Sherry likes it smooth. Ladies’ choice I’m afraid.” Jake smirked and puffed his chest out proudly. “Nice blade little ninja. Nice horns ya little devil.”
“Samurai.” She corrected, hand on the hilt of the blade.
“Same thing.” He said with a dismissive wave. That’s a nice shade of magenta on her bra…
“Ow!” He rubbed his head as Sherry smacked him again at the back of the hand. “Keep your eyes to yourself!”
He doffed his fake leopard ears to the redhead. “Redfield.”
“Hi Jake and Sherry, I should have brought my lasso along had I known we were going to have wild animals on the prowl.” Claire smiled, half tipping her hat in response.
“You need to teach me a few of your taming tricks.” Sherry said with a smile leaving Jake more embarrassed.
“Nice uniform Sherry.” Leon stammered. It was a cross between a schoolgirl’s uniform and the navy blues, but it was fitting. Perhaps too fitting, with a bare midriff and all that.
“Hi Leon.”
“You have all grown up alright.” Leon said, wondering if there was a bare midriff contest going on here between Jill, Claire, Moira, Sherry, even Jake, to some extent. Perhaps he could do with more exposure himself up instead of being covered head to toe. Then again, it’s pretty breezy by the sea.
“What is this! Howdy boys and girls, can I get y’all a drink?” Barry came round with a tray of kegs and glasses.
“It’s only the afternoon! Woah there leather daddy, I mean, Barry.” Claire said as she did a double take. Barry was wearing studded leather pauldrons and red leather stripes crossed around his exposed hairy chest, tight leather pants with metallic studded riding boots.
“See Jake, that’s what I call furry.” Moira smiled watching Jake groaned and simultaneously trying to shield his eyes but at the same time taking curious peeks at Barry.
“Salutations.” Sheva announced her presence with a swirl of her red cape. She was the only one without an exposed midriff, but the tight leather corset left no imagination to her amazing figure and her lacy stockings were equal eye catchers.
“Hey Sheva, thanks for making it.” Jill extended a hand and introduced her to the others.
For a moment the cabin was blurred as a puff of purple smoke obstructed everyone’s vision. Then with the aid of a mini flashbang Ada announced her presence in the smoke lined silhouette. Black heels clinked and clanged across the deck as she strolled to Leon.
“Howdy, stranger.” She said, resting a hand on her katana as well in a black lacy ninja outfit.
Moira swallowed. Ada pulled off a much more mature look than she could have. At least they didn’t clash like Jill and Leon did. If anything they seem to increase the intrigue of each other.
“We’re still missing someone right?” Jill said as the music got louder.
“Probably making their grand entrance at the right moment.” Claire smiled, knowing Piers’ penchant for style.
Disco lights were lit as guests started warming up the dance floor. The dancing dots of lights adding a thrill of movement and disorientation on the already rocking ship. Suddenly lights flickered as spotlights found their ways to the stage to reveal two familiar back to back silhouettes, one broad, one lithe, both irresistibly masculine.
“They’re here!” Everyone’s attention were drawn to the burly figure of Chris and Piers’ model looks as they arrived, Chris was sporting a very tight blue and white sailor outfit, complete with a Captain’s peaked hat and aviators, sporting his own bared midriff showing off taunt abdominals. Piers was in his most exposed entry yet wearing nothing except a very red and very packed speedo, a lifesaver slung across his shoulder, whistle on his neck and a pair of flip flops.
There was a collective inhale of breath. If there was a bare midriff contest then Piers had just snatched it out of the air with his perfect eight pack and graceful hips.
“Chris, Piers!” Jill was the first to recover, having been the most used to the pair and ushered them to the group as the lights also recovered.
Chris strolled down confidently, nodding and hugging his friends and exchanged greetings.
“Sup pup.” Jake sniggered, looking down on Piers’ naked form. Sherry’s eyes haven’t moved from Piers for minutes now, but he didn’t have the privilege of swatting her head like she did to him.
“I’m fine, Jake.” Piers was grinning deviously also. “At least I’m comfortable in my own skin.” He put his hand on his hip, as if to pose. “Nice whiskers.”
“Thanks Piers. Took me an hour getting them right along with the face paint.” Sherry said, running her fingers over the plush leopard suit and trying not to be distracted by Piers’ bulge.
“It’s a decent paint job. We should get together one day and I’ll show you a few advanced facepainting tricks…” Piers said, peering at and studying Jake’s face as if it was a fifth grader’s homework, earning himself an annoyed snarl and a glare.
“Piers!” Moira turned and met Piers in a hug, naughty fingers lingering for a touch and a squeeze on the sniper’s firm back. “Are you naturally gifted or just happy to see me?”
“I’m always happy to see you Moira.” Piers winked. “This is all me.”
“How’s things Claire?” He also exchanged a quick hug with his partner’s sister.
“Holding fort alright.” She said, trying to brush hair out of her eyes under the hat. “Better drink up. It’s gotta be freezing dressed like that.”
“Well the sun is still out, and Captain’s furnace keeps me warm.” He winked and stood back at Chris’ side, resting his hand between the small of his back and the delicious curve of his rump.
“TCal, nice leathers!” Chris said as he exchanged a brofist with Barry. “Red is your colour after all.”
“Haha, gotta give you young ones a run for your money.” Barry said, flexing his chest trying to puff out as Chris does.
“Hmm, I think Captain has one just like this, but in black.” Piers said with a grin. “Saving it for my eyes only, of course.” Chris smile and scrunched Piers’ hair at the back of his head.
“Parrrtyyy time.” The music dialled up , the ship sailed off shore and the crowd raved on dance floor. It was a party like few other.
As the shots and music escalated so did everyone’s inhibitions. Barry’s rum shots were surprisingly potent. Soon Jake had lost half his makeup, trying to outdo Leon in pirate trash talk and both failing miserably once Barry joined in. Jill and Sheva were giggling with Claire in a corner over past anecdotes that only seem funny through a few shot glasses. Ada and Moira were parrying in a fake katana fight, more for showmanship than effectiveness, and Chris held Piers naturally in his arms as they chatted with Kathy. Eventually Chris took over Moira’s blade and duelled with Ada while Piers joined a poker game that Jake started in the hopes of clawing back a win. A mention of strip poker got himself another smack by Sherry.
“You’re wearing a one piece, Jake.” She rolled her eyes.
“So is Nivans.” Jake said, glaring at Piers and daring him to rise to the challenge.
“Unlike you, I’m proud of what I’ve got and not afraid to flaunt it.” Piers said.
“On second thoughts, Leon might win. He’s wearing his grandpa’s entire wardrobe” Jake said. “Just regular poker then.”
The game didn’t last too long. Turns out Jake was hiding the aces in his suit and they kept turning up in his hand. By this point Leon got sick of trying to wait for Ada to have some alone time. Sherry set up another game with Piers, Moira and Ada. Forcing Jake to just sit and watch this time as he tried out awkward pick up lines on Sheva for laughs.
“Hey Barry said he has a jet ski!” Who wants to come for a spin? Jake?”
“Na, can’t get this suit damp. The tail will get in the way too.”
“Then go naked!”
“Leon you should start acting your age.” Claire shook her head.
“Only live once!” He said. “Jill?”
“We won’t both fit in our costumes.”
“Ada!! Come.” No surprises there when he got the cold shoulder.
“Chris.. my pal…” Leon finally found his partner in crime. “Let’s do this!”
“What’s happening?” Chris asked, trying to look for Piers.
“Come jet ski with me. Like old times…”
“The hell man, that wasn’t with me, you were with Ada.”
“Whatever. Just come!”
“I’m going to regret this.”
“No you won’t. It’d be the time of your life.”
Through his alcohol induced grogginess Chris stumbled on the jetski with Leon at the helm.
“Sit tight!”
And they were off, whitewashed waves and revving engine noises in their wake.
“Hey, anyone seen captain lately?” Piers said, after a fairly lengthy game of Euchre. It was tiring trying to read the cues from his partner, Ada but whey won out.
“No idea. At the bar or something?” Claire said.
“Is he with Jill?” He asked.
“Jill’s napping on a sunbed somewhere.” Barry said. “She said the waves made her sleepy and she needs to work on her tan.”
“Tanning through a pirate costume?” Claire laughed. “She wants a midriff tan?”
Piers got up and quickly toured the boat. No sign of Chris and Leon.
“What the hell happened to Chris and Leon?”
“Aren’t they still jetskiing?” Jake said, stifling a yawn as he stood at the helm of the boat.
“They WHAT?” Piers said.
“Leon took Barry’s jet ski out. Said he wanted a spin. Hey Sherry, wanna do the Titanic thing?”
“It’s too embarrassing Jake.”
“Hey you’re the one who watches that movie like 20 times and still cry through each one. ‘Oh I’ll never let go Jake, I’ll never let go. ”
“It’s Jack!”
“You don’t know Jack. It’s Jake!”
“That’s not fair. You’re only 22 and you’re making dad jokes.”
“That’s because I hung out too much with Barry. So, you wanna lie there and let me draw you like a French girl?”
Smack!!
“Hey you loved that part of the movie. Don’t deny it!”
“Jake Muller you are so dead!!”
Piers ignored Jake’s fake shrieks of pain and fetched a binocular to try to look for the pair.
“So, sorry to interrupt, but Leon took Chris?”
“Nobody else bothered.”
“Was he steering?” Piers felt his heart sinking.
“Probably.”
“Barry you trust Leon with your jetski?”
“It’s insured anyway, almost due for an upgrade.” He winked.
“I need my captain back…” Piers said, grabbing the lifesaver and looking out the boat. “Christ, the sun’s in my eyes half the time, can’t see a thing…”
“Chris…”
“Leonnnn…” He called. “What the hell? Somebody?”
“No news yet Piers?” Barry joined him on the rails. “We’re barely out from shore, shouldn’t be hard for them to find us.”
“I don’t trust Leon to find his way out of a grocery store.”
“Captainnnnn!” Piers yelled to the sea and blew his whistle.
“Over here!!” He heard Chris call back, his voice barely carried over the waves. Piers finally spotted his hat. Chris was trying to stay afloat in the waves. Leon was nowhere to be found.
“There he is.” Piers sighed, tightened the lifesaver on his arm and dived out. “Keep a lookout for us!
He swam quickly. Chris was probably two hundred meters out or so but he swam full speed.
“Captain!” He finally closed the distance and threw the lifesaver to Chris who clutched it in exhaustion.
“Shit, thanks, Piers.”
“What happened to Leon?”
“Still on the jetski I think. He got lost.”
“He dumped you in the ocean???” Piers was getting furious.
“He took a turn too hard and the thing almost capsized. It was him or me and he wasn’t gonna swim anywhere in that outfit.”
“Silly Leon. Let’s get you back, Captain.” Piers said, swimming with all his might back to the boat with Chris in tow.
“Here.” Barry wrapped them both in towels and gave them a drink to ward off the chill. “Go lie on the sundeck to keep warm and dry off.”
“Leon?”
“He just made it back.” Barry said. “Lucky bastard heard the whistle finally. Said he was doing circles looking for Chris and then he got lost.”
“Tell him he’s grounded from activities that endanger himself and others, like driving or operating heavy machinery of any sort.” Piers rolled his eyes.
Piers wiped himself off with the towel and helped Chris get most of the moisture off his body.
“You’re OK Captain? Not too cold?”
“I’m warming up now, don’t worry, I’m strong as an ox.” He pulled Piers close. “Still, every bit of heat helps.”
Piers looked at him half wanting to discipline him and half relieved something worse hasn’t happened.
“You had me worried down there, like seriously.” He said, lips pouting.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Guess it’s a recurring theme with one of us lost at sea isn’t it.”
“That’s not a funny joke.” Piers said, giving a sigh. “Still, I think I did forget about how scary the sea was though. Haven’t felt that for a long, long time.”
“Not afraid of the water as much now? You swam just fine there. You were always one of our better swimmers in Alpha. Until recently anyway.”
“Yeah, we liked the water as kids. Tim more so, guess that’s why he went the navy route. I don’t want to jinx it, but the swimming was natural, like it was before well, you know. I guess I was too worried about you to think about myself.”
“Should I try and drown myself more often then? Or maybe we can frolic at sea for a bit later on? No sand to worry about at least.”
Piers punched Chris in the arm.
“Oww. Comeon now, a Captain will only go down with the ship, and not a moment before.”
“You’re not going anywhere!!”
“I’m right here, babe.” Chris said, resting his palm on Piers’ shoulder as their limbs entwined.
“You’re the best personal heater, Chris.”
“Haha. Your feet are still really cold!” Chris said. “Hey… don’t rub them on me. Geeezz…”
“I’m too tired to try anything. But have you even imagined you know… doing it on a boat? All that rhythmic rocking…”
Chris kissed Piers on his earlobe. “Why don’t we give it a try?” He said, grinding his bulge against the tight speedo. “You arse is bloody perfect. Gonna have to cover it up next year. You look absolutely stunning. Best costume.”
“You’re only saying that so you can openly gawk at me.”
“Hey now I wasn’t the only one gawking! But at least our costumes allow us to enjoy the water.”
“Haha, at some point I’m sure the others will change to something more practical. Moira’s practically just wearing bits over her swimsuit, as is Claire.”
“Always got a sharp eye on the girls don’t you!” Chris said, nuzzling into Piers’ neck.
Piers let himself melt in Chris’ embrace. “No, you take my breath away. In a good way. I’m happy cuddling for now. Gotta have something to look forward to when we’re sober and dry.”
“On the to do list then. Now I can have finally that fishing holiday without feeling like I’d left the wife at home!”
Piers pinched Chris’ arm. “I’m not letting you get out to sea with questionable partners anymore! No more outings with Leon!!”
Chris laughed. “Haha. Only in your company, I promise. You’re a possessive pup.”
“I blink and you end up lost at sea. I blink and you snuck out of a bloody hospital. See the pattern?”
“Haha, you got me. Don’t worry, I’ll let you drive next time.”
Piers soon dozed off, contentedly napping on Chris’ chest among the soothing warmth of the afternoon sun, the rocky boat, the comforting sounds of the waves and the calls of the seabirds. He hadn’t been this relaxed for a very, very long time.