Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

That summer was like an illusion. The trees and the grass held the same greenness, the sky the same blue as any other summer; it was still the same heat and sounds; but it felt like if Himmel grasped the air, it would tear and reveal a world with no seasons, grey and stark. It was the first day after Frieren left the capital after their return, and somehow, her absence took away the wonders he saw in summer. He had grown so accustomed to spending the season with her in that 10 years they were together that it felt unreal he was spending it now without her. Himmel felt his heart sink, recalling the way her figure retreated into the distance and the desire to hold her in place that came as a reaction. "Is this how it ends?" he thought, feeling dejected. He figured out that maybe it was better this way. Had Frieren agreed to be his lover; something that he never asked of her yet anyways; he was still sure he wouldn't be able to make her stay. Wouldn't that be more heartbreaking? Being his lover and still not wanting to be with him. Yes, it was better this way...

Yet he couldn't deny that he longed for Frieren. He could say that he's glad Frieren was pursuing the things that brought her joy, that her happiness also meant his happiness, but he's only a man after all. He could convince himself to view their parting in that way, but it was undeniable there was the hollowness and frustration of missing someone. Would it really even be loving if he didn't feel the weight of her absence?
...

Himmel looked at his reflection in the mirror before heading out. He had grown old, skin wrinkly and speckled with liver spots, head bald, stature shrinked down. It wasn't a revelation to him that he wasn't a dashing young man who could capture a maiden's heart anymore. It had been a gradual descent, the realization that he wasn't handsome anymore, and it made him adapt to it quite easily, with him only being visited by melancholy at times. He has accepted with quite some grace, and he felt that he would no longer be ashamed to be seen by anyone he knew.

He stood up to go outside, and once there, he spent a while walking around the capital, simultaneously getting his daily exercise and shopping for necessities. On his way home, he saw Frieren.

"Frieren?" he called out to her.

She turned around. "Himmel?"

"You're so old and wrinkly!"

Himmel had an expectation of some sorts that this would happen. "That's rude, don't you think?"

"I still look handsome even at this age don't I?" he jested as Frieren observed him closely. The distance made him feel a soft aching in his heart. "It's been 50 years, hasn't it?

You still look the same as the last time I saw you."

He smiled in wistful remembrance, "I thought I would never see you again."

"Well," Frieren said, "I'm here now."

Himmel wanted to ask her if she thought that was enough to make up for the long, lonely years he spent hoping just to get a glimpse of her, but kept it inside him; his yearning for her already eased, with only good memories spent with her reminding him that this was the woman he loved.
...

The meteor shower was as beautiful as it had been 50 years ago, and it seemed to be even more magnificent now that he was reunited with his friends. It continued on as Himmel's vision darkened, making him realize that he was returning to the earth.

He died a death befitting a gallant, selfless hero -- peacefully, accompanied by the stars and the people he treasured the most. He expected that he would return to nothingness, so he made his last thought one that expressed his many thanks to the goddess. To his surprise, he found himself still conscious of how he waited for himself to fade away.

He slowly opened his eyes, finally seeing his surroundings. He saw other people around him, and, as an instinctive response, he asked these people where he was.

They said it was Aureole, the afterlife that Heiter had talked about.

He agreed it was convenient for there to be a place where souls can rest, but never expected that there really would be one. Aureole, as the other souls there have told him was what heaven was, was partly as he had pictured. Full of light, cloudy -- the heaven of everyone who had ever gone to church; but there were hills, archs decorating the expanse of the hills, and a giant tree in the middle as well. He decided that he liked it there, especially the unexpectedness of what heaven looked like. It felt like it would welcome everyone; selecting as its residents not just the people who had faith in its existence and had visions of it, but even those who felt the idea of heaven was foreign. After all, if there had to be a heaven, it should be one that could afford to give everyone a resting place. It was convenient that way.

He acquainted himself with the souls there, all while waiting for the promise of reuniting with his comrades in his adventure to be fulfilled. Heiter came first, and just like there had been no years that had passed with them not seeing each other, they spent their days close to each other.
...

There was nothing much to do in Aureole, but Himmel didn't notice the passage of time as much as he did when Heiter still wasn't there. It was wonderful how much the presence of a friend could remedy the boredom and the magnitude of being an immortal soul. All they did was talk to each other, and that was enough.

"I wonder when Frieren will come here," Himmel began, then as an afterthought, added, "and Eisen, too."

"Frieren again," Heiter said.

"And Eisen."

"But I know you're missing Frieren the most."

Himmel didn't reply.

"It was so plainly evident you loved Frieren, you know?" Heiter continued.

"To everyone but her," Himmel sighed.

"Did you ever want to be her lover?"

"I've already accepted that it's never going to happen. I'm now just content with the fact that I had been with her for 10 years."

Heiter raised both of his brows at him.

"I just cherish her. She will always be the woman that I loved."

They both became silent, and settled on watching the scenery of Aureole. After a while, they saw a familiar figure drawing closer to their view. White hair gathered in two bunches, white clothes, and long ears adorned with scarlet earrings.

"Frieren!" Himmel waved wildly. Heiter, finally recognizing who it was, joined Himmel. Now there were two men jumping about like children. She didn't pick up her pace, like she wasn't thrilled to see them at all. Typical Frieren. They continued waving wildly until they at last were in each other's proximity.

Frieren hadn't changed in the long years that have passed, and as usual, she went straight to the point.

She eyed Heiter who was standing beside Himmel. "Can you leave us alone?"

"What a way to greet your friend after so many years, Frieren," Heiter laughed.

"I'll talk to you later," Frieren replied. Heiter relented, saying a simple okay before leaving.

"I came here to give a proper goodbye."

Himmel was overjoyed just to see her again. Meeting after just 35 years? Now that was something he didn't expect, so he smiled like an idiot without saying anything.

"Are you listening Himmel?" Frieren called his attention. Thinking back to what she said a while ago, he said, "Frieren... you're really kind. Didn't you think that granting me my final wish of seeing you all again back then wasn't enough of a proper goodbye?"

"But it really wasn't," Frieren replied.

Himmel looked at the clouds and closed his eyes, "You've never understood the happiness that you bring to the people around you Frieren."

"Himmel," Frieren called his attention, "I wanted to tell you my feelings, let's stop talking about me."

Himmel softly smiled at Frieren, "I'm listening."

"I..." she cleared her throat. "You were my greatest regret Himmel. I underestimated the space that you took up in my heart, thought you were just a human I could never relate to, but it turned out that I would be so affected by your existence.

After your death, I realized if I had the chance to spend another ten years with you, that in every instance that I felt the beauty of your existence, I would tell you.

You are a ray of light, Himmel, and you have always been even when you left us."

Himmel was dumbfounded. He was overwhelmed by the goodness that Frieren expressed to him, making him think that if he had any chance to tell her what he felt for her, then this was it.

"I loved you Frieren," he whispered.

A puzzled look donned Frieren's face, then as if the final piece has been put in the puzzle, a thought cleared that puzzlement. "I love you too, Himmel. You are a great friend."

"That's not what I meant," Himmel chuckled as he thought in his head, heart lightly dropping at the way Frieren unknowingly rejected him regardless of how well-acquainted he was with Frieren's detachment to anything romantic.

They spent a while staring at each other. Frieren, having accomplished her goal, was at a loss for words; and Himmel, torn between being happy over getting reunited with her and being pained that his one instance of admitting his love for her was shot down, was, too, at a loss for words.

It was Frieren who broke the silence, "Do you have any grimoires here?"

Himmel laughed, "Still on your journey to collect magic?"

"Naturally."

"We have none, unfortunately."

"Is that so?" Frieren looked at the distance. "Well then... take care Himmel."

He smiled, knowing that Frieren still had a life that would go beyond this meeting -- accustomed to the fact that he would not be seeing her in a long, long while -- yet still wishing that this moment would last longer.

"I wish you long, happy years Frieren. Then we can meet here again."

Himmel turned around to look for Heiter, then, spotting him, called out for him.

"Goodbye, corrupt priest. I reckon there's no booze here to make Aureole as heavenly as possible?"

Heiter, the easily amused man that he is, laughed again, "I'm afraid we have nothing here in Aureole."

Frieren smiled, "Better find new vices. Like touching grass maybe."

"Rude," Heiter shot back. Himmel laughed. Just like the good old times. If only Eisen was here too.

Frieren finally left. Himmel stared at her shrinking figure, bracing himself for the many years before she goes to Aureole once more.
...

Himmel still wasn't able to meet Frieren again -- 60 years had passed, and the patience which he decided to keep his adoration for her in was slowly getting whittled at. Just how long do elves live? Even Eisen was here already. Before he could even start a monologue about how much he wanted to see Frieren again before his love for her became all but remaining; he blinked, one moment in Aureole, the next under a white ceiling he could only describe as other worldly, unreal in its whiteness and brightness. He wasn't completely dumbfounded by this; he had watched enough souls in Aureole disappear, even Heiter, and had wondered enough about what could have possibly happened to them that he already had an inkling of what it was he just experienced. "I have been reincarnated," he thought, thrill sending electric shocks through his spine. He stretched his hands out, hoping that it would look like the hands he had been so vainly fond of when he was in his twenties; broad palms, defined knuckles, veins translucently green and blue under his skin. But it was tiny. Tiny. Before he could even express an iota of his disappointment, he was lifted effortlessly and shoved into the face of a man with a mask over his face.

"The child is breathing," the man remarked. After a few more seconds of scrutiny, he said, "Congratulations ma'am, he is healthy and well."

A woman breathed out a note of relief, and Himmel was yet again shoved, and this time, into the arms of a woman who was looking at him with a loving gaze.

"Sora," she whispered. "Your name is Sora."

Chapter Text

As the years passed, Frieren realized there was the ever growing fear that the single most impactful journey in her life was going to be forgotten by her. She had tried writing the story down for her to revisit, but found that nothing could ever compare to the simple act of replaying a scene in your head. Now that act was growing to be less and less simple, and more and more taxing. She wanted to die early so she could die holding onto her memories, but looking at how Serie, who probably spent a childhood with dinosaurs as her pets, was still alive; she figured out her death wouldn't come soon.

Now, if only there was a spell that could help her retain her memories...

"Miss Frieren," Fern interrupted her thoughts, "I heard from the villagers that there was a potion that could turn you old."

Frieren's ears perked up. How timely, and at the same time, doubtful.

"Where do they say it is?" Frieren asked.

"In a dungeon near the entrance to Ende."

"Himmel and we have already explored that dungeon."

"But aren't you intrigued, Miss Frieren?"

"Well... I would be lying if I said I wasn't."

Stark, who seemed to have been waiting for his turn to speak, shot up, "Don't turn into an old lady Frieren! We need you!"

Frieren smiled at him. "I don't intend to grow old while you both are still young."
...

The dungeon surprisingly had areas of it that Himmel, Frieren, and the others haven't discovered. There really was a potion in it, and it was the single one in there, so it couldn't have possibly been anything other than the aging potion. Frieren still wasn't sure, and she couldn't just drink it now to ascertain that it really does make people old. She stashed it in her suitcase.

...

Time had passed since then.

Frieren held Fern's wrinkly hand, feeling it grow colder by the minute.

"I figure it's time for you to drink that aging potion, Miss Frieren. Stark's gone, I can feel myself fading," Fern whispered with what little strength she had left.

Frieren debated inside herself about whether she really wanted to take the chance to finally grow old or to carry her memories with Fern and Stark for a little longer at the expense of forgetting the older memories she had with Himmel, Eisen, and Heiter. Before she could reach a decision, Fern had grown so still and silent. Frieren gently placed Fern's hands on her own abdomen, and bent down to check her breathing. Gone. She was gone.

Frieren called the priest over, and a funeral was held for the mage Fern. This time, she had no tears, only a deep satisfaction at having spent so many years attempting to know her and also having known her, even if that was just a little bit.
...

After the funeral, Frieren stared at the bottom of her suitcase where the aging potion sat. She had no thoughts, just the feeling that she was finding less and less reasons to stay. Was her desire to get to know humans enough to want to stay? She didn't feel like it today.

She picked up the bottle, gave it a little swirl, then opened it. She took a sniff, and without much thought, gulped down the contents.

Frieren felt nothing at first. "Must be a fake," she thought. When she passed a mirror, she noticed. She looked older, and she gradually felt like more than half of her mana had been taken away.

She slightly panicked. Was this irreversible? She couldn't believe that a mage like her could be defeated like this just by a mere potion.

She went outside to find out how much magic she had left. She cast the flower making spell that she held so dearly and found out that the radius was as small as a foot rug.

She stood there, bewildered, trying to make sense of her new reality. She couldn't even comfort herself about how she at least had some magic left -- her mana and magic had been parts of herself integral to her perception of herself after all; she knew that a big chunk of her personality was defined by her love of magic. She decided to look for answers, and the place where she would get the answers from was the village where she first knew the potion about.
...

Travelling as an old woman had its positives as well as negatives. She no longer had to pay for travel expenses, allowing her to save up for her necessities; courtesy of the kind souls she met on the road; but every distance she had to walk was excruciating. Luckily, she hadn't been too far from the village where the dungeon was, or else her journey would have been not only long, but also deathly tiring. She arrived at the village soon, and without wasting anymore time, she told her story and asked whether there was a magic book about aging potions. The forces making the world go round favored her today, and the villagers immediately gave her the book.

Upon reading the contents of the book back to back, she found out that the potion was only temporary. Every after a month, she would gain a fourth of her original mana back, mana returning to her in increments day by day; and her appearance would also gradually return to normal. She rejoiced.
...

Frieren was resting happily on the bed of the room she borrowed from the inn she was currently in, still in the village after deciding to stay for a while there, when she heard a commotion from outside her window.

The usual sounds of panic alerted Frieren, urging her to go outside and see what was happening. Once outside, she saw a solar dragon up in the sky, ready to swoop down and wreak havoc.

I can't fight this the way I am right now, Frieren thought. She realized there was nobody else to fight the solar dragon, so she steeled herself to do it. "I'm not going to die here. I don't want to," she muttered. The best course of action would be to lure it into a forest, and leave it there. She figured that the canopy of trees would hide her from the dragon, and thus would allow her to escape undetected. The dragon could roam that forest for all it likes, hopefully distracted from going to the village again. Then, after a month, Frieren can fight it already. Decisions made, she shot magic at the dragon above, hoping it would reach it. The spell dissipated along the way, only an eighth of it hitting the magic resistant skin of the dragon. This nonetheless angered it, and it targeted Frieren. Good. She started running for the forest just beside the village, being careful not to run into alleys and staying in open spaces in case the dragon swept down and damaged any of the houses. When she was in the forest already, she ended up in a clearing, completely vulnerable to the dragon. Just like all her luck had backfired on her, fate deciding to balance her joys and sorrows in this instant, the dragon breathed fire on her. Frieren, fearing an attack like this for the first time in her life, hurriedly put up defense magic in front of her. She couldn't sustain it for long, while the dragon just kept on breathing fire. Why is this dragon so enraged at me when I only shot it some weak magic? Frieren asked, completely bewildered. In just a minute, she got burned by the dragon.

"What a stupid way to die, losing my mana and getting killed by a dragon. I guess I'll say hi to Himmel and Fern and the others in Aureole."

To her surprise, she didn't even get the chance to rest in Aureole, but found herself in an artificial whiteness.

Chapter Text

Himmel later on learned when he grew up a more fitting word for his reincarnation through comics read and shows watched on the internet. Isekaid. Transported into another world. In all the media depicting isekai that he had consumed, the protagonist would always have memories of his past life, or would eventually recover it after a major event has triggered it. He put his hand on his chin thinking about how he also has his memories from his past life intact, smiling all the while and thinking, "The universe can't help but make such a handsome person like me as the protagonist."

But he wondered what the purpose of having his memories of his past life was. In all honesty, they already had become quite faded, like people whose names he could no longer call without the fleeting instance he was shown a picture of them, nervous impulse traveling a rarely visited neural path, his brain making the connection that it was them. Old feelings had already been piled on with new ones as vivid than the last, things previously instinctive to him now at the tip of his tongue. He trusted himself that for as long as his soul existed, he would never forget his old comrades and the beaten path the adventure with them took. He managed to hold on to those memories when he was in Aureole, but now? He was having fun in this new life, alright; had spent his past 17 years pampered by his parents, friends, teachers -- heck, even strangers who asked him for directions -- basically everyone in his life. It had been; still was; a life equally as good as his past one. Here, his adventures were limited to the train rides from school to home, walks from here to there, road trips from the city to his parents' hometown and back; his battles were only between him and homework and food he wasn't fond of; but he had a mother and a father here. Here, he no longer had his old comrades; but he had friends who thought him valuable enough to keep inviting for outings, and naturally, admirers (he was, in every universe, beautiful). He also had slowly forgotten what it was like to love; Frieren, who had captured his heart, had been gone for too long already that he could only look back on his love as something that was. Surely, he can move on from his past life now, right?

Were people that easily replaceable?

He stopped his musings. He didn't want to delve into that question. Finding the answer would make him grapple with his emotions, and he feared that the answer would leave him devastated with a longing for the things he had. Not to mention, he had already given up on the idea of meeting anyone from his past life already.

Never mind.

"Sora!" his mom called. "Why aren't you up yet? Do I really have to remind you at your age that you have classes starting today?"

Himmel -- no, Sora flinched and shouted back, "I'm up!"

He pushed off the sheets from himself, got out of bed, then prepared for his first day in college.
...

The walk to school didn't make him dive into introspection again, and for that, he was thankful, but there was a new thought preoccupying his mind right now. A child wearing green and carrying a four-leaf clover wand suddenly came up to him and hit him on his thigh.

"I made you a lucky boy, mister."

He, as a continuation of the thoughts he had this morning, was struck by the wish of wanting to see his old friends. He had a premonition that something as good as that would happen.

"Wouldn't it be nice if they were reincarnated too?" he thought, but then felt it was too much to ask for. He looked different now; his most recognizable features replaced by new ones. His hair was now black and no longer blue, eyes small and slanted as compared to his previously big and rounded ones. His nose was now a different shape, his lips thinner. The only thing that could possibly hint at him being Himmel and not Sora was the mole he also had in his past life.

Not to mention, the world was so vast. Who's to say that he would just be granted the convenience -- the blessing of having his comrades in one place? Besides, it wasn't like he hadn't thought of looking for his friends back then when he finally gained the ability to walk and talk as a kid. They weren't anywhere he could see. Anyways, if the goddess, or fate, or whoever -- whatever -- really favored anyone so much so that they'd grant them their wishes, why would it be Himmel? The gut feeling he had got dispelled. He smiled at the kid who hit him with the four-leaf clover wand as a thank you anyway.

The kid with the wand and her parent were still not gone by the time he reached halfway the distance he had to travel, but they took a turn in the street now. He waved bye to the kid with the wand and continued on, readjusting his backpack's straps as he did. There was still quite a distance he had to walk before arriving at the university he was enrolled in, and just a few more minutes before his first class, so he settled on a brisk pace, no longer having the opportunity to romanticize his first day walking to school and try to enjoy the surroundings.

When he finally arrived at school, he rushed to the classroom where his first class was, plopped down a seat and checked the time. Ten more minutes. He decided to open his phone and check for messages. There was one from Ryuuji, a close friend from highschool, asking him if he had gotten to school yet and if he had, how it was  for him here.

Himmel typed, "Didn't have time to check anything out yet. Class is about to start so maybe I'll talk more later."

He closed the messaging app in his phone and scrolled through a social media app until the professor came in.

"A pleasant day to you all. I presume you are all Psychology freshmen, and that no one is repeating this subject?" the professor said, positioning himself in front of the class, right where the lectern was.

The class collectively decided to express their agreement as silence, to which the professor nodded.

"Since nobody knows me, I'll introduce myself. I'm Takahiro Uka."

The professor flipped through the file he had with him, picked it up, and tilted it to the side with his hand. "I won't be taking attendance today, since it's just the first day. All we'll be doing today is discuss the timetable for this semester, as well as the materials that you will be needing for this class. Some class rules will also be discussed, but since you're all college students now, I'm expecting that there won't be any disorderly behavior."

The professor went on to discuss things, which Himmel paid attention to. He, by nature, preferred more engaging activities than simply listening to introductions, but he decided that since he had the goal of getting a master's degree (something so academic that he didn't expect from an adventure-loving boy like him), he might as well start his college life right and set a pattern of diligence and discipline. Well, to explain further, he spent his previous school years goofing around; prioritzing extra-curricular and club activities more than his academics. It's actually a surprise he got in a prestigious school like the one he was currently in, so it further cemented his desire to just do his best academically-wise. But of course... he's still going to join at least one club. How would he have fun if he didn't?

"Okay, class dismissed," the professor finally said. "You guys can use this time to check the clubs out; they're recruiting."

Himmel slightly raised a clenched fist in secret. He put his backpack on his back again, prepared and raring to go explore.
...

Himmel wandered the hallways for a while, wondering just where in the world the clubs were. He ended up in the courtyard, where there were tables and tables guarded by people lining the sides. Finding his destination, he at once checked out the clubs.

After a while, he found out that most of the clubs were academic-oriented and had relation to the majors offered by the university. If he really had to pick, then maybe he'd join the biology club. The science of living things was interesting after all, and even in his past life, he had always been interested in creatures. He stopped at the final table. It was the literature club. They were offering pamphlets, so he took one, then scrutinized it. He was immediately struck by how messy the design of the pamphlet was, with elements such as pictures seemingly thrown in together without consideration for the compatibility they had with each other. There were grapes, omelette, a sword, an axe, a viking helmet, flower crowns with white, yellow, and pink flowers, and...

blue moon weed?

A four-leaf clover. Then a blue moon weed. The premonition he had this morning in the train suddenly felt stronger. A special encounter.

Himmel could berate himself for being an idiot who hoped too easily, but the blue moon weed couldn't have been anything but a clue about someone in his past life being here as well. Feeling the old part of him that lived in the world with magic and heroes and demons get revived with hope, he clung onto the chance.

"How can I join this club?" Himmel said, voice amplified by enthusiasm and anticipation.

The person at the table was infected with Himmel's emotion, probably thrilled that they finally have someone joining.

"Just fill up this form, and join the meeting at 5 pm at room H-200. That's in the left wing of the new building. Only if you don't have classes though! You don't actually have to join the meeting, but it would be better since we're introducing everyone to each other. I'm Rei, by the way. Nice to meet you."

Himmel nodded to all of this, saying his name as well in response; and once he was done filling up the form, he left for his next class in high spirits. He was glad that he only had classes until 4 pm.

Now it was only a matter of waiting, but it was easier to imagine the wait and the eventual result of waiting than actually waiting. It had been excruciatingly long as it tends to be when you're anticipating something; and by the time all his classes were over, he was already feeling less enthusiastic.

He went to the room he was told to go to, and felt drawn towards the first person he saw. They were a girl in twin tails, nose deep into the book she was reading. He couldn't help but feel his enthusiasm spike up again -- it was such a familiar sight that he began assuming this person was someone he had once yearned for. He had something akin to faith building up in him; his previous disbelief at the prospect of meeting anyone from his past life replaced by the almost stupid hope that he would.

Chapter Text

Frieren didn't know what to expect the moment she was thrown into a new world where the first thing she saw was an unbelievable brightness. "Is this Aureole?" she wondered. But it was not Aureole, but a world further than even Ende.

Her bewilderment and disappointment at not ending up in Aureole didn't help her, her resistance and constant questioning only futile attempts at guilting whatever force that transferred her in this new world into returning her to the previous one. She decided to accept it despite knowing that she might not remember Himmel and the others anymore.

She decided to fulfill her role in this world as the child named Yukine, whatever that might entail.

It turned out that what being Yukine meant was mostly saying farewell to the things she had known. When Frieren had been a child in her past life, she remembered being able to produce magic as the biggest thrill and joy that she had ever experienced after the awareness that she had parents who cared for her. Now a child again, she experienced a contrasting emotion to that thrill and joy -- she couldn't produce magic in this world. Yet another disappointment and the saddening separation from another important thing. She comforted herself with the fact that she had not lost a memory with Himmel and the others. If she couldn't be Frieren the Slayer, then she could be just be Frieren, friend to Himmel, Heiter, and Eisen; mentor of some sorts to Fern and Stark. How long that would be the case, she didn't know and didn't want to know. She found herself believing in the goddess now more than ever, making bargains with her that in place of the fact that she had been stripped of magic and had been put in a world with no magic, she would have her memories intact.

It seemed to be working.
...

The same as before, Frieren made it a goal to continue her mission to get to know humans. She started with her parents, and so far, she considered that it was going well.

Her first observation was her parents' playfulness. As far as she remembered, her parents in her past life weren't too keen on being playful; a testament to the way Frieren grew up; but her parents in this life were very much playful. She didn't have a preference for this, but she allowed it, much like the cat her current parents also had (she found a comrade in Hachi the cat). She later understood that their playfulness with her was their way of showing affection when one day, her mother shoved her face down Frieren's stomach to tickle it and said afterwards that she loved Frieren. She had several recollections about events in her past life where she experienced something similar or witnessed it flash in her head. I guess that this is why friends often tease each other.

As she grew up, she learned more about humans through her parents. She felt ready for a bigger world. In kindergarten, she surprised herself with the way she was able to be friends with a couple of the other kids. This trend seemed to continue on until middle school. She felt successful in her life as Yukine. However, in highschool, her friends became lesser; just one or two in her class. In her first day in college, she found out she was left alone.

She realized that her peers in kinder through middle school seemed to have had a naive kindness that urged them to befriend even the most reclusive, unapproachable person, never minding the inconveniences and the risk of it, driven solely by the thought that everyone must have someone by their side. But as these same people grew up, they eventually grew more intimate with the workings of their minds and the world, with their preferences and the truth that not everyone's presence is enjoyable let alone bearable. The people who gave, or better yet, so kindly offered their time and attention to Frieren grew lesser; and she, like everything in her current life, accepted it. It turns out that while she has learned about the why's of human behavior, she still didn't know how to act any differently than before. There were minuscule changes, small tweaks to her personality so she could show the people important to her that they were, in fact, important; but nothing major that would attract a hundred friends to her.

Solitude wasn't something new to her; compared to the 17 years she spent in pursuit of companionship, the centuries she spent alone had a far stronger influence on what she decided was bearable or not. She appreciated the wonders of human friendship though, a lesson she had already learned through Himmel, Eisen, and Heiter; and she wasn't about to give up on it just because of a few years of returning to her old ways. She joined a club in college; the literature club. It was one of her interests in this modern world other than science (which is why she chose a biology course), still holding on to her hobby turned habit that is reading. That, and she simply just thought of reading as natural as breathing. It seemed like a perfect fit.

Only one other freshman joined that year. In their college that prioritized degrees related to sciences, anything art related was immediately regarded as unhelpful or unimportant; making the literature club's members few. Frieren resolved to befriend this other guy who joined; she really had no other opportunity to befriend someone.

She considered her choices for a greeting, and settled on asking, "Why did you join the literature club?" Perfect. Not too plain, not too personal, and they could have something to talk about.

The guy looked at her and laughed, "I heard rumors that the seniors in this club love to drink, so I'm hoping to get invited."

Frieren got caught off-guard by the confession, wondering if that's something a college student should be saying, was hit by deja vu; so much that she mused out loud, "That's something Heiter would say."

The man's eyes shot wide, and stuttered a name out. "F-frieren?"

Frieren looked back at him, her eyes widening as well. Her mind quickly connected the dots and she herself stuttered the name of her friend.

"Heiter?" Her voice instinctively dropped to a whisper, "You've been reincarnated too? And in the same place as well... prove it. Prove that you're Heiter."

"Why are you whispering?" Heiter whispered back. "Well... we defeated the demon king, saw the Era meteor shower... uh," he scratched his head. "I left you my disciple Fern!"

Frieren didn't doubt him and immediately accepted that this man was Heiter. She moved on from the shock, and wondered, "Do you think Himmel and Eisen would be here, too?"

"I'd like to believe they'd be, since you just increased my hopes that I wasn't the only one who got reincarnated with their memories intact," Heiter said. "Do you think we can find them?"

"If we try," Frieren replied, suddenly feeling determined. Who knows who else she could find in this new world?
...

Their first attempt at looking for Eisen and Himmel led to no results. They volunteered to make posters for the literature club, leaving as many clues to lead them to Heiter and Frieren. They added pictures of the things they could recognize from their past life, and put their past names in the poster where the people who made the poster were credited (the seniors asked them why they were doing it; they said it was just because they liked it that way). They even made accounts on social media dedicated to looking for them, inspired by other people who asked the internet for help in reuniting with their old friends. If that was possible, then why wouldn't that happen for them as well?

The year passed without having found Eisen or Himmel. If they had experienced the life of a normal person, then they would have gotten discouraged from this; but Heiter and Frieren were heroes in their past lives. This was nothing compared to the challenges they faced back then. In their second year, they tried again; the previously half-hearted, disbelieving attempt at finding them now a mission.

This time, she had a good feeling. The goddess was real, Frieren decided. She was even giving her the gut feeling that this was the year she'd reunite with all of her friends.

Chapter Text

Himmel made eye contact with the girl reading the book.

"Hi! I'm here for the literature club meeting," he said.

The girl suddenly asked, "Why did you join the literature club?"

Himmel had his own methods for finding out whether someone who he possibly knew in his past life got reincarnated as well, and that was unhesitatingly mentioning the clue that was left for him. "I saw the blue moon weed in your poster."

The girl stood up, and exhaled loudly, "Finally."

She walked up to Himmel, stood beside him, and pat his back albeit hardly. "You're finally here. It's me, Frieren."

Himmel's breath hitched.

She said she was Frieren.

All at once, astonishment, exhilaration, and the old, sweet ache of longing then the subsequent easing of it hit him.

He wouldn't say that his perception of the world had been gray then and had now just became multi-colored like in the shows, but he could say it was almost like that. The world sparkled like new, old feelings being dug up; the most emotional experiences he ever had in his past life being recalled. Before he could feel all these sensations deeper, the doubt that this wasn't real creeped in, a stark contrast to the blind faith he had a while ago that the blue moon weed in the poster would lead him to important people.

This can't be real. Prove it. Prove it to me, Himmel thought, then breathed out, "I can't believe it."

"What do you want me to tell you, Himmel?" Frieren asked. "That I remember blowing you a kiss and you fainted? Or that you liked my flower magic? Or maybe just mention something as simple as the Era Meteor Shower so you'd believe me?"

Everything that this girl said was undeniable proof that she held the memories of Frieren, and was therefore Frieren. He tried to shake off the disbelief. If he could get reincarnated then why not Frieren too? It was all just unbelievable, really, so much that he was silent for so long. After a while, he said, "A little kid hit me with a four leaf clover wand when I was riding the train, and here we are."

"Yup. The goddess gave me a vision that I will meet you and Eisen this year -- well not a vision, just a premonition."

"What's your name now?"

"Yukine. You?"

"Sora."

"The sky huh," Frieren hummed, "Like back then. You write mine as 'sound of snow'."

"So your name still hints at you being cold."

"Must be the goddess playing tricks."

People usually informed people in a closed room of their presence through a knock, but Frieren and Himmel heard two cheerful voices on the other side of the door first.

Frieren gave Himmel a smile, then the door opened. A tall guy wearing glasses and another who was as tall as the other person's chest entered, talking animatedly with each other.

The tall guy spoke, "Frieren! I found Eisen! He saw our names on the poster, so he looked for the people who made the poster and asked one of our seniors. Things happened and he found me. And..." He saw Himmel, then sputtered, "Uh, sorry for rambling" He laughed nervously. "Sorry for being weird."

"Yeah, you're being weird, Heiter," Frieren started, and was immediately shushed by Heiter. "Calm down, this is Himmel."

"Himmel?" Heiter looked at Frieren, then at him. "Himmel?"

He stared at Heiter. "Corrupt priest?"

"Corrupt priest... It's really Himmel," Heiter said, then faced Eisen. "I can't believe we all got reincarnated into the same world. We even ended up in the same university!" He spread his palms out, looking back and forth at his friends, gesturing his enthusiasm. "I have to thank the goddess for this!"

Eisen was in a daze, evidently unable to reconcile the fact that they were all reincarnated in the same place to reality. Himmel stared at him, and as if that kickstarted the gears in his mind, Eisen nodded at him, "Long time no see, Himmel." He then looked at Frieren, then said, "Frieren."

"So what are your names here?" Himmel asked Heiter and Eisen, not knowing what else to ask.

"I'm Yukio," Heiter said, followed by Eisen, "Tetsu."

"Cool," Himmel commented.

They all stood in silence, in silent awe of the miraculous coincidence that they met again in another world.

"We have to celebrate our meeting!" Heiter suddenly said.

Himmel had a bubbling feeling that Heiter was going to invite them out for a drink, but hesitated to say it out loud if by chance, this person was not actually Heiter.

"Let's go out for drinks!"

Himmel sucked in a breath, astonished. "He said it. This is real."

Eisen shook his head, "This is what happens when you die and find out that there's no booze in heaven. By the way, I'm only 18."

"Me too," Himmel said.

Frieren sighed, "Look at you inviting underaged people to drink. You really shouldn't have been reincarnated in this world to meet us again. Such a corrupt priest."

"Hey, that's mean!" Heiter complained. "They can just not drink! They have food in the restaurant I'm taking you all to."

"Fine," Frieren relented.

"How did you guys end up here?" Himmel asked afterwards.

"I went ahead of Himmel, so now I'm in my third year of studies," Heiter answered.

Eisen followed, "I found out that both you and Heiter were gone from Aureole, then got reincarnated into this world after a few days. I'm in my first year."

And finally, Frieren, "I died at the hands of a solar dragon then just got transported into this world. Never got to Aureole. I'm the same year as Heiter."

Himmel sucked in a breath, "I still can't believe all of this."

Frieren looked at him, "You have no choice but to believe this."

"By the way, let's exchange contacts," Frieren suggested after a while.

"Great idea," Eisen said, pulling out his phone. In just a while, they all had exchanged emails, phone numbers, and socials. Himmel stared at the list of his contacts, feeling the incredulity of their meeting that overwhelmed him finally dissipating. The fact that this is his reality now sank in. Wasn't reality supposed to be a heavy realization? He, like Heiter, felt that he really had to thank the goddess for this.

He laughed suddenly, even without anyone telling anything interesting, his doubts overshadowed by joy. The rest of them looked at him with questioning looks.

"Did you know that I had given up on us meeting again?" he said.

"So had we," Frieren replied. "But here we are."

Himmel breathed in, and he never experienced it as something so renewing before. He smiled. This was the beginning of yet another journey with them.
...

The first adventure he had with his newly reunited friends proved to be as silly as their previous adventures. Himmel was shocked, and at the same time, relieved that they all just fell into their old ways of interacting with each other, conversations so easy and familiar.

"I already made up my mind to be satisfied with my life here, then I met you guys again, and now I feel like I'm young again," Heiter slurred, voice a pathetic whine.

Frieren had her face behind her hands, then moaned, "Now you guys know he's a sad drunk in this world."

Eisen supplemented what Frieren said, "And he has a low alcohol tolerance in this world."

"I don't really want to deal with a drunk Heiter in this world. Who's gonna send him back home?"

"I don't know his address. Yet," Eisen beamed.

"Ugh, I know his address... but I'm not nice enough to do it," Frieren grumbled.

"Heiter's gonna get hurt you know," Himmel chuckled.

"That's what he gets for getting drunk," Frieren said.

"You know I missed you all so much," Heiter began again.

Himmel, who sat beside him, patted his back and said as if reassuring a child, "We missed you too, buddy." He looked at his two other friends. "It's getting late." He paused. "I can't believe that we have different lives now and have our own homes to go back to...

So, should we all go home now?"

Frieren checked the dainty watch on her wrist, and agreed. "But the question of who's going to send Heiter back home is still unanswered."

"Frieren will show you directions; Himmel, you carry Heiter back home," Eisen decided.

"And you? You'll just leave your long lost friend alone?" Himmel joked.

"Yes," Eisen answered.

"No, you'll be coming with us Eisen," Frieren declared.

Eisen laughed.

"As a punishment for Heiter, just take his wallet and pay for all of us," Frieren said. Himmel raised a brow, to which she replied, "He's rich. Trust me, I've been with him for two years."

"That's kind of mean," Himmel slowly said.

"Don't worry, he mentioned that he would pay for us all a while ago."

After paying, the group of friends exited the restaurant they ate in, and stood on the side of the of the road to hail a taxi.

"And the taxi fare? Is it going to be Heiter paying again?" Eisen asked.

"Naturally," Frieren replied.

"I saw the bills in his wallet, Eisen. Frieren isn't joking," Himmel said.

After a while, they finally got a taxi which they all got inside in. Frieren told the taxi the destination, then sat in silence. It was a five minute ride that made Himmel wonder if they could have just walked the distance and saved up on money, but it was getting late and he was glad travelling was made fast. Besides, carrying Heiter would have been a hassle.

They got off the taxi and saw the apartment Heiter lived in. The location and the whole design of the building hinted at it being high end.

Himmel whistled, "Just what did Heiter do in his past life that made the goddess decide to reincarnate him as the son of rich parents?"

"He apparently stopped drinking in old age," Frieren replied.

Eisen shook his head, "That couldn't be it."

They all entered the apartment, going through entry procedures at the reception before getting to Heiter's flat. Frieren took Eisen's bag, fished for his key card, and effortlessly got them all in.

"You're used to this," Himmel observed.

"More or less," Frieren replied, making him smile. She might have not been "nice enough" to send a drunk friend back to his home, but she did it anyway.

"That's just like you," Himmel said, fondly thinking about how Frieren was as familiar to him as his memories.

"I think Heiter wouldn't mind if we took some of his things," Eisen, who was already exploring the flat, butted in.

"You are so right," Frieren agreed.

After tucking in Heiter in his bed, the night for the friends ended up happily even without stealing anything from Heiter. Now back in his own home and having completed his routines, Himmel lied down on his bed. He opened his phone, excited to tell Ryuuji, one of his closest friends from highschool, about what happened this day.

Himmel: I met old friends in school today.

He waited a few minutes for a reply.

Ryuuji: Who? From highschool?

Himmel: From a long time ago.

Ryuuji: You're being vague. From kinder?

Himmel: Something like that. But we're close as family.

Ryuuji: And you never told me about them?

Himmel: Never thought I would meet them again that's why.

Ryuuji: Heyyy, I'm glad for you.

On a side note, should I be jealous?

Himmel: Who are you, my girlfriend?

Ryuuji: Could be.

Himmel: You're stupid.

Ryuuji: Not stupider than you though.

I'm tired from school -- went straight to discussions -- so catch you tomorrow.

Himmel: Okay

Himmel closed his phone and decided to sleep as well, finally exhausted by all the excitement and all his other emotions.

Chapter Text

The sun still wasn't up by the time Himmel woke up. He had nothing to do, so he decided to take a look at his friends' social media to see what they had been up to in the 17 years they hadn't met. A part of his mind urged him to check Frieren's first, a habit of curiosity about her from decades past. When he looked at her photos, which were numbered, he began feeling like there had been something he held for her that had been lost, feeling an emptiness where overflowing fondness should have been.

Out of all the people from his past life that he met again, Frieren was the one who he had forgotten a lot about. With Eisen and Heiter, he had been with them in Aureole. What he forgot about them got replaced with new ones, the act of knowing them constant. There was no fear of ever feeling like he no longer knew them. But with Frieren, it was complicated. He loved her both as a woman and as a friend, and the part of him that loved her as a woman had been disappointed by her long absence so many times. He just remembered who she was in essence, knew what he felt for her as a fact but no longer knew it as an experience. He couldn't count how long Frieren had been gone since they last met in Aureole; it felt like millennia, and that was enough to make him forget. Human memory was as impermanent as their life. He was ashamed of it. "Shouldn't someone who you claimed you loved remain in your memories forever?" he thought, feeling as though he hadn't loved enough.

His love for her had started out bright and exciting as most first loves are, then had been weathered down into a silent but enduring love during the years he patiently waited for her return, and finally had simmered down into a memory when the passing of time proved to be stronger than his feelings.

Still, he held care and good intentions for her, and a part of him was satisfied that he still had a reason to stay in her life. Frieren, more than being the woman he had loved, was his friend after all.

He decided to put it at the back of his head. There really was no use ruminating about things that had been.

Deep in his thoughts, he suddenly felt his phone buzz once and was shaken alert by the jolt hearing and feeling the buzz caused as a reaction. He blinked a few times, the fact that someone might have messaged him not registering in his mind. It took him a minute before his brain finally worked. He checked his phone and found out Heiter made a group chat with him, Frieren, and Eisen, probably just to complain to them all about how he had a hang over.

Heiter: I don't think I can make it to school today...

Can someone stand in for me in my classes?

Frieren: Heck no, nobody's going to do that. That's what you get, corrupt priest.

Heiter: Can somebody please be kind to me?

Eisen: Just take a pain reliever and hang on, Heiter.
You can do it.

Himmel got the opportunity to join the conversation.

Himmel: It's all his own fault why he's got a hangover, not society.

Heiter: You're all mean :(

Eisen: Stop

You can do it.

Heiter: Fine

The messages ended there, leaving Himmel with the sensation that he was already accustomed to the fact that his friends were all here again as if it wasn't new information. Seeing that there were no more messages coming, Himmel stood up and prepared for school.
...

Classes for Himmel were so far, still on the easy part. He found them ending quickly, only taking up until 5 pm, and so he wondered if there was club today. He asked in the group chat whether there was. Frieren was the one who answered, and chatted that there was none, and that he shouldn't be expecting too many meetings since they were all busy. The only times they really got together would be when there were school events, and the occasional meet ups when the seniors all had a book they were really collectively thrilled about. She then proceeded to say that she was going to be done with classes at 6, and asked what time the others would be done so they could meet in a restaurant to eat.

Odd. Frieren is inviting us out to eat. Himmel wondered. Odd, but it makes me happy.

Himmel asked her what restaurant it was, then headed there ahead of them.

On his way, Himmel saw a friend from highschool pass by. Like any normal people would, he felt happy to see him, and waved to get his attention. That person made eye contact with him, and waved back once, the lack of energy in his waving hinting at how he really isn't that thrilled to see him. Himmel didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but seeing that the encounter didn't end up in a warm conversation where they would catch up with one another, he was disappointed.

Oh.

Himmel had a small realization about just how much he was at the mercy of other people's good will towards him. There were a billion people in this planet, and he was certain that not even being a hero could guarantee that everyone of them will hold him dear. Still, he had expected that someone who he had chosen to spend time with for years would still remember him fondly, but there it was. He was basically ignored.

He continued walking to the cafe where he and his old friends agreed to hang out in, spirits a bit low. When he got in, he sat down and ordered a coffee to drink while waiting.

With nothing to do, he checked his phone for messages first. Heiter and Eisen had both replied to the messages already, with both of them saying they had classes until 6. He then checked his social media, entertaining himself with the content he was shown.

Finally, 6 pm arrived, and he only had to wait 10 minutes before his friends found him waiting in the restaurant.

They all greeted him; Heiter with a stupid smile on his face, Eisen nodding in his direction, and Frieren languidly waving a hand with a blank face. It was an odd phenomena how Himmel felt that even if these people have already greeted him in the same way for years, he still felt the genuine enthusiasm they had for his presence. They just got reunited, but it was certain there simply was comfort in the familiarity of their greetings, like a security blanket; and that's how he knew he had a place where he belonged with them. He knew he was lucky -- he wouldn't be able to find such a friendship that was so easily soothing to the soul, and steadfastly constant anymore.

His spirit, which had been bogged down by the previous interaction -- or lack of it -- with his high school friend, lifted at once.

"I love you guys."

Frieren scrunched up her nose as she took her seat beside Himmel, "What was that, you sap?"

"Platonically," Himmel replied.

"We know that. If it wasn't, I'm afraid we'd have to disappoint your dreams of having a polyamorous relationship," Eisen shot back.

"Ouch. You wouldn't want one with a handsome guy like me?"

"You're being gross, Himmel," Frieren shook her head.

"Ask me that again when I'm drunk Himmel, then maybe I'd consider it," Heiter said.

"We're in a family restaurant, Heiter, there's no booze," Eisen reminded him.

"A man can dream," Heiter replied.

"Why do you crave alcohol so much despite being a lightweight?" Frieren asked, exasperation evident in her voice.

"Old habits die hard?" Heiter offered an explanation.

Himmel laughed, "He admitted it."

They all decided to be silent as they looked at the menu, food on their mind. After each had individually chosen their food, Eisen asked, "What are you guys ordering?"

"Omurice," Himmel said, followed by Heiter who announced he would get curry rice, then Frieren who said Napolitan.

"Then I'll get hamburg steak," Eisen said.

Himmel recited their orders to the waiter after calling them over, then was reminded of the feat that Heiter accomplished today.

"Congratulations on managing to make it to and survive classes, Heiter."

Heiter rubbed his nose. "Not such a lightweight anymore, huh?"

"Let's go drinking again, then," Eisen proposed.

"Let's," Heiter agreed enthusiastically.

Frieren shook her head at him, "Eisen is trying to teach you a lesson, corrupt priest. Isn't one lifetime of being an alcoholic enough?"

They all laughed, and continued talking to each other until their food came. They all focused on eating then, peppering in bits of conversation and jokes. Before leaving the restaurant, Frieren told them that they'd meet lesser and lesser as the semester became busier. The club wasn't going to meet up often as well, so if they really wanted to meet, they'd have to plan things out. Himmel thought about it right after feeling happy over the fact that Frieren was now thinking more about seeing her friends than before. He suggested a trip to another prefecture during summer break, which was in 4 months, to which all the others agreed. They planned to follow an itinerary by a popular travelling website, then afterwards, camp for two days in a nearby camping site.

"But let's still try to meet up when we can," Himmel added.

The rest of them nodded.

"By the way, I have a car guys, so I'll be the one driving us all during the trip," Heiter offered.

Himmel joked, "A drunk driver? No thanks."

Heiter sniffed, "Is that all you see in me guys?

Frieren nodded, "Yes, you corrupt priest."

Heiter could only laugh.

Chapter Text

Not that Himmel doubted Frieren, but she was right when she said that his classes would only get busier. In the two months that had elapsed, he discovered that activities such as a mere 20-point quiz in any of his subjects were numbered, but the amount of reading that had to be done in preparation for them were many. He found himself having to decline invites from friends, whether that be Frieren and the others or friends from high school, all so he could stay on top of his workload. He wasn't alone in this though; even Frieren, Heiter, and Eisen couldn't match up their schedules and hang out regularly.

It was their luck, or more likely the result of their resolve to stay in touch with each other, that their chats didn't decrease. They were constant, with Heiter and Himmel always chatting about the things in their daily life they found interesting, and Frieren and Eisen being listeners who can't help but react to their stories. Slowly, whatever distance they all still had between them became closer.

By chance, there was one Sunday when Himmel didn't have any school work to do. He asked in the group chat whether it was the same for the others, crossed his fingers while waiting for their reply. With the buzz of his phone, he anticipated to be let down; but was surprised to see that they were all free.

Himmel: I want to do whatever with you guys, just anything. It feels like it's been so long since we last met.

Frieren: We just met weeks ago.

Himmel: That's already too long.

Frieren: It's not. Think about how long you met us in this world again.

Himmel: But I want to spend as much time with you guys.

Frieren: Well then, there's a movie I want to see.

Heiter: Let's go.

Eisen: Your treat?

Heiter: I'm getting the feeling that you guys are just using me at this point.

Frieren: hahahaha

The chat ended with them agreeing to meet at the theaters at 2 pm, giving each of them an hour to prepare.
...

Frieren was the first one Himmel saw.

Usual greetings done, they stood in front of the theater waiting for the others.

A few more minutes passed before Eisen and Heiter arrived. They all greeted each other, as customary, wasted no more time, and headed inside. The movie they were going to see was a horror one, and Eisen had complaints.

"You know I've never been a naturally brave person," Eisen told Frieren, to which she replied, "You can just sleep during the whole movie."

Himmel, amused by all these, could imagine Eisen inwardly wrinkling his facial features as if to cry.

They entered the cinema and looked for seats, with Himmel insisting he got a seat next to Frieren and Heiter and Eisen easily relenting. Himmel smiled, triumphant, although he wasn't sure for whatever reason that was.
...

"See?" Frieren began as they exited the cinema. "It wasn't too bad, was it, Eisen?"

"Well..." Eisen said. "I didn't watch properly so I don't know."

"That's a shame. It was pretty interesting, too."

The four friends walked out of the theater and proceeded to go get lunch. As they ate, they all collectively agreed that they could spend a little more time with each other, and debated what to do after this. Himmel, the type who hummed while walking back then when they were adventuring, suggested that they go to karaoke. The others didn't have any specific activity they wanted to do, so they just went along, making Himmel complain that they should do something that everybody enjoys. Eisen simply told him that it's fine, and that they all wanted to spend more time with each other anyway, so it didn't matter what they did.

Once there, Himmel began flipping through the song book. He caught Frieren ordering food again.

"You just ate," he said.

"It's just pudding," Frieren replied.

He smiled at her. Just like back then. He then turned his attention to the song book in his hands, input his song in the karaoke machine, then passed the book to Heiter. Once they all have chosen the songs they wanted to sing, Himmel took the microphone. Heiter picked up the tambourine to shake to the beat of the song.

Himmel sang, admitting to himself he wasn't too bad. In fact, he was good, effortlessly hitting the notes with a clear and full voice.

They all clapped for him when he finished.

"Eh... so Himmel can sing," Frieren commented. There was an odd satisfaction that bubbled in Himmel, like he had just impressed somebody he liked.

"Not a surprise, though, he had always been singing even back then," Heiter said. "Noisy kid."

"How could such a wonderful voice be noisy?" Himmel retorted.

Heiter laughed, with Eisen and Frieren shaking their head in the background, then got the microphone from Himmel. His song began. Like Himmel, he had a voice fit for singing; pleasantly deep and smooth.

When Heiter finished, Himmel sprang up.

"They called us the songbird duo back in our hometown."

Frieren raised both of her eyebrows. "Lame."

Eisen joined in. "I bet you a hundred yen he's making things up."

"He is guys," Heiter confirmed.

"See? Give me my hundred yen."

Frieren snorted, "I didn't even join any bets."

Frieren's turn came next. She seemed to be half-heartedly singing, the way she sang almost deadpan, but her voice was oddly beautiful. Himmel watched her closely as she sang, attention only broken when he noticed Eisen staring at him as well. He straightened his back, not knowing what to do, just like he was caught doing something wrong. He saw Eisen smiling knowingly, making him want to negate whatever he was thinking. It's not like that anymore, is it?

Frieren breathed the final note.

They all clapped, Heiter saying, "Could be a little more lively."

"I can't do anything more than that," Frieren said. "I'm not part of the songbird duo after all."

Finally, it was Eisen's turn, and before anything, he finally voiced his reluctance to sing. "Do I really have to do this?"

They all nodded. The song began, and Eisen muttered the lyrics the whole time.

"What was that?" Heiter asked in slight incredulity.

"Shut up," Eisen said. "I was never a good singer."

Himmel mused, "It feels like Eisen didn't enjoy any of the things we did."

Eisen crossed his arms in front of him, "I don't want to say anything to that."

Heiter teasingly tried to make Eisen spill his thoughts, "No, tell us."

Frieren spoke up, "He meant that he is fine doing anything, as long as it's with us."

Heiter and Himmel both said 'awww', which Eisen discouraged with another shut up.
...

The four friends finally decided to go home after a few more rounds singing and just sitting and chatting inside the karaoke room. Heiter went one direction, Eisen another, while Himmel and Frieren went in the same one.

They were silent for a while. Himmel stole a sidelong glance at Frieren, smelling a faint wisp of gentle soap.

"So why are you going in the same direction as me?" he asked her.

"I have something to buy in your area."

"Eh... but we only have a hundred-yen shop there."

"Yeah, I'm going to buy a cat toy."

"You have a cat?"

"My parents'. They left him with me when I moved in here."

Himmel hummed a note to indicate his acknowledgement of this new information about her.

The shop was only at the tip of the street that led further into the district, so Himmel and Frieren didn't part ways yet. He accompanied her.

"You know," Himmel began as they entered the shop. "I've been getting this feeling that I've forgotten a lot about you."

"That's odd, and you had been the one who seemed to know me well back then," Frieren replied, looking around the store.

"You've been gone for too long."

Frieren stopped at a shelf. "I'm here now, so you can take your time getting to know me again."

Himmel felt reassured. Frieren picked a toy up and faced him, an amused smile on her face. "Funny how we now both want to know more about each other."

Himmel laughed, feeling that with every conversation he had with Frieren, the sense of loss he had over no longer having the same feeling of love for her eased. "You're right. It's like we didn't spend 10 years travelling together."

Frieren purchased the cat toy, then headed out with Himmel.

"So," before Himmel could continue, he coughed, throat apparently slightly worn from singing.

Frieren motioned for him to wait for her, then came back with a bottle of water from a nearby vending machine.

She extended the bottle to him, saying, "You sang too much, huh."

Himmel took it from her with a smile of gratitude, and gulped down a considerable amount.

"Yeah."

He stood facing Frieren, the previous feeling of reassurance bubbling up the surface again, this simple gesture of care from Frieren reacquainting him with the reasons he loved her back then. They parted ways, and he had a smile on his face all the way home, something in him reawakening.

Chapter Text

More days passed, and it was now the week before summer vacation started. This week was dedicated to their final exams, and Himmel had prepared for it adequately. Like he had always done any challenge then and now, he faced them determined to get a satisfactory result.

After the two days spent for the exams, it finally was time for evaluations, making the students' schedule more free and flexible.

Himmel was suddenly hit by a fever right after, and he had the goddess and his stars to thank that the fever didn't come during the exams. His evaluation can wait.

Although he was lightheaded and his muscles felt fatigued, he picked up his phone to check for messages. He saw Heiter inviting them all out to buy supplies for the camping trip, which Himmel replied to by saying he was sick.

Heiter: Are you alone at home?
Himmel: Yeah, my parents both work so I'm alone.
Heiter: Tell us where your house is; we'll visit after buying some camping stuff.

Himmel expressed his thanks to his friends, then sent them his home address.
...

The doorbell in his house rang. Himmel gathered his strength, but only managed to shuffle down the stairs and towards the door. He opened it, squinting at the brightness in which his friends were surrounded.

"Hey!" Heiter greeted.

Himmel told them to come in and make themselves at home. He returned to his room just after granting Heiter and Eisen permission to use their kitchen, with only Frieren accompanying with him to his bedroom. Once he was settled in his bed, Frieren took his hand and held it in her palm.

"Frieren?" Himmel wondered why she was holding his hands.

"Just like you did for me," Frieren answered. "It is not only kids who need emotional support, right?"

Himmel couldn't give a name to the feeling he got from hearing that -- wanting to hold her tightly without breaking her. "She remembers," he thought.

They stayed like that, holding hands until Heiter and Eisen went in his bedroom as well, carrying a bowl of porridge, medicine, and a glass of water. The suddenness of their entrance caught Himmel off guard, the fact that Frieren initiated for them to hold hands making Himmel think there needs to be an explanation for it. He only let out a cough in the end, hoping that would get rid of the awkward feeling in his chest.

"Drink some water," Heiter told him as he offered the glass of water to him. Himmel took it, partly glad to let go of Frieren's hand and partly yearning to hold on to her. After drinking, he proceeded to eat the porridge that Heiter and Eisen so kindly prepared for him, drank medicine, and continued to lie down in his bed in an attempt to sleep.

He had the idea of asking Frieren to hold his hands, making up the excuse that it will help him sleep to provide a reason for it, but then Frieren didn't need to be told anything. She simply took his hand silently. Himmel felt a cheer of elation threatening to spill from his mouth, and suppressed it, feeling it pass until only the feeling of gratefulness and fondness for Frieren were left. Then, as if Frieren holding his hand was really the catalyst for his rest, he fell asleep.
...

His room was dark when he woke up. Frieren was at his bedside, her hand already parted from his, but her arm was stretched in front of her and draped over his stomach as she rested herself. Probably sleeping light due to her position, just the slight stirring of Himmel woke her up.

She sat up and blinked a few times before asking, "Feeling better?"

"More or less," Himmel replied. He looked around for Heiter and Eisen.

"Heiter and Eisen are in your living room."

"I've got to thank them for staying."

He got out of his sheets and went down to the living room with Frieren.

"Thank you for staying guys," Himmel said with all of them in front of him. Deciding that their friend was already well enough to be left alone, they said their goodbyes and left.

Himmel, with nothing to do, made up his mind to stay in his bed. He clenched his hands, the phantom-like feeling of the shared warmth of his and Frieren's hand lingering. He recalled the way he woke up to the sensation of Frieren's arm over his stomach, and the sight of her at his bedside, longing and fondness tugging at his heart. He had the epiphany that having someone -- more specifically, Frieren -- beside him in his every waking would ease this newfound longing that he felt.

He clutched the fabric over his chest as if to grasp his heart in his hands and ease the aching.

He knew what this was.

As he had in his past life, and now -- he was falling in love.

Suddenly he was decades back in time, the summers he spent watching Frieren and the white of her clothes and hair glowing under the sunlight vividly replaying in his head, evoking the same yearning and affection that made his heart tender and beating fastly.

Had his falling been sudden, something that happened just at the touch of her hand, or had it been gradual? Maybe he finally rediscovered his love for her just after hanging out with her for months; getting reminded of her adorable, refreshing bluntness; her caring that, although veiled by coldness, was undeniable to the receiver; and in the comfort that Himmel had always found in her presence. Perhaps the moments Himmel felt touched by these aspects of Frieren built up in his heart like the warming of your skin under the sun, until it reached a tipping point and the realization that he was, again, in love with Frieren made itself known to him like a spot burned by the heat.

"God," Himmel breathed at the realization. Love crept up to him in the whole while he had given up on it.

Chapter Text

It was finally time for the trip, and the four friends had agreed to meet up at the parking lot where Heiter's car was at around 7 am the night before. 

Frieren had no one to wake her up. No Fern, no parents (they were in her hometown) -- not even Hachi, the cat that her parents had given to her -- could wake her up; but she managed with at least about a dozen repetitions of her phone alarm. The snooze button was her savior, as was the technology of the current age she was in. She was the last to arrive despite her efforts to wake up early though, what with the slow, sleepy pace she went about as she prepared to meet up with them. She expected Heiter to click his tongue the moment he saw her -- and it would have made her glad as it was a reminder that this was Heiter, a friend from a previous lifetime -- but he didn't. She wondered if having lived another life knowing he would never meet the people he had known made him sentimental, just like her, cherishing even the traits he used to find annoying.

Frieren prepared a long, proper question just to find out whether her hypothesis was correct, but all that she managed to get out was, "You didn't click your tongue at me, Heiter. Miss me?"

Heiter laughed, "Where did you learn to be cheeky, Frieren?"

"From you, maybe; but the confidence, I got from Himmel."

"Good, good," Himmel nodded with his chin in his hand. "You're learning good things."

Eisen, who had been packing their things for them in the trunk of Heiter's car spoke up, "If you all have time to chatter, then help me out here."

Himmel dropped his hands. "Oh, sorry Eisen!"

Once they were all done, they settled in Heiter's car, with Eisen in front together with Heiter, and Frieren and Himmel lumped together in the backseats.

"Do you guys want me to play some music?" Heiter asked.

"Sure," Himmel piped in. Heiter took Eisen and Frieren's silence as agreement, so he turned the radio on and let a random station play in the background.

Himmel asked after a while, "How many hours will the trip take?"

Heiter replied, "Approximately 1 hour if there's no traffic."

"Approximately 1 hour, huh. Nothing compared to weeks travelling in wagons."

"That's true."

Frieren looked out at the window to try to view the sights, but as she already knew, cars, unlike wagons, moved too quickly for anyone to immerse themselves in their surroundings. "Himmel wants it to take more than an hour so he could sightsee all the places we are passing by."

"But that'd inconvenience us all, so no," Himmel said. He turned to Frieren and added, "You're making observations on my character now, huh."

"It's a new thing I'm dedicating myself to."

Himmel paused, a smile stuck on his face. "That makes me happy."

Frieren returned his smile, then turned her head to continue staring outside the window.
...

Snacks that they had packed beforehand eaten, they finally arrived at their destination. Heiter parked his car in a parking lot near a train station, which was the starting point of the itinerary they planned to follow. Their first stop was a temple. Frieren stood at a distance; then went closer, now feeling the enormity of the temple with its wide, red pillars, and the second story on top of the first.

"It would be better to take a picture from afar," Eisen said.

They all agreed. Before paying the entrance fee for the temple and heading in, they snapped a photo of them, fitting the temple in the background. Once inside, they spent their time looking at the buddhist statues and observing the interior of the temple. Himmel, ever the adventure-loving boy, wanted to stay beyond the 15 minutes the itinerary planned as the duration they would stay in the temple. Heiter and Eisen had to drag him away from the buddhist statue he was taking pictures of, saying that they had a schedule to follow so they would reach the camping site on time.

Himmel allowed them to drag him away, saying that he's just going to settle on enjoying the next stop, which was a branch of the temple they were currently in. After visiting the next temple, Frieren said, "It's funny how we only stayed in those temples for only 15 minutes. Pretty anticlimactic how we travelled so far only to stay for a few minutes."

"15 minutes is already a third of a minute; it's long enough," Himmel replied. "Though I agree that we could have stayed a little longer..."

Heiter joined in. "What, you want to stay an hour in there?"

"That'd bore me," Frieren admitted.

After the two temple grounds, they went to two museums, a massive gate, and two other temples; taking pictures all the while. At the final destination according to their itinerary, which was a shrine, Frieren saw a troubled teenager pacing back and forth with his phone to his ear. She wasn't the only one who saw him, and Himmel, being a person with a lot of concern in him, approached him. Frieren and the rest followed Himmel to the teenager.

"He got separated from his companions," Himmel turned to face his friends.

"Is the police station nearby?" Eisen asked.

"He says he needs to go to the parking lot near the train station."

Heiter's ears perked up. "That's where my car's parked. Why don't we just take him along?"

"Of course we are."

The teenager spoke up, "Thank you so much."

Himmel smiled at him. "No problem. What's your name by the way?"

"Ah, I'm Miyamura. Miyamura Kenji."

Frieren watched Himmel as he acquainted himself with Miyamura, pride swelling in her heart just for the tiny reason that Himmel is good at communication.
...

"Thank you so much for bringing Kenji to us," Miyamura's older sister, Akemi, said while bowing to Frieren and the others.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," Himmel assured her. 

A friend of Miyamura called Tanaka Haruki walked up to Himmel. "I'm sorry if he caused you any trouble."

"No, that wasn't the case at all."

A man in his late twenties and is apparently Haruki's older brother named Hansuke joined the conversation. "Where are you all headed after this?"

"To Kurokami-yama Camp."

The man raised his eyebrows, beaming all the while. "What a coincidence! We're going there too.

Why don't we camp together?"

"Sounds good," Himmel nodded, then turned to his friends. "We're joining them."

"That would be nice," Heiter said. "The more the merrier."
...

The ride to the camping ground took 15 minutes not counting the time they spent in between shopping for raw ingredients at a nearby supermarket. They arrived there at around 1:30 pm, and they passed the time until dinner setting up their tents and checking the camping grounds out.

When dinner finally arrived, Frieren and Miyamura's group agreed to share their food and eat it together while chatting.

"I remember you not being a very good cook, Fri-- uh, Yukine," Himmel said when Frieren offered to help in cooking, taking care not to use her past name in front of Miyamura and the rest. 

Frieren defended herself, "I've gotten better."

Himmel handed her the knife, "Then I'd like you to cut the vegetables up."

Frieren felt a tiny cheer bubbling inside her, and treated the task at hand with as much seriousness as she would reading a grimoir. It had been going well, the cutting of vegetables, until it seemed like her success has made her too elated and made her lose focus, making her nick her finger. She paused to check if it was serious enough to make her hand over her task to somebody else, but it wasn't painful at all, and it was just the slightest of wounds; like a shallow pinprick. Despite this, she felt Himmel's gaze on her, and heard him say shortly after, "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Let me see your hand."

"It's just a small scratch..." Frieren admitted ashamedly.

Himmel paused, apparently thinking. He said after a while, "You wanna continue?"

Frieren was grateful for the way Himmel trusted her even with such a small task. She nodded, "Of course."

Himmel paused what he was doing, and got a bandaid from his bag. "I'm so glad I brought bandaids with me," he said as he motioned for Frieren to give her wounded hand to him.

"It's not a big deal," Frieren tried to decline his offer of patching her almost inexistent wound.

"Just to be sure it doesn't get infected, or spread blood all over our food."

Frieren relented, and held out her injured finger to Himmel, who then wrapped the bandaid over it. He gave her a smile before focusing on his own task again, which was preparing the meat and the sauce, and cooking the rice.

Once Frieren was done with her task, she stood across Himmel, observing him cook.

"Oh yeah, you and Hei -- Yukio and Tetsu were the ones always cooking for us. All of you except me."

"I'm quite the ideal man, aren't I?"

Frieren shook her head, "And you haven't changed in the whole time you had died and got reincarnated."

"Shhh!" Himmel put a finger up his lips, "Not that topic!"

"Oh, sorry." She looked around, and seeing that there was no one within earshot, said, "Don't worry. I'm not loud, and there's nobody near us."

"Still!"

"Okay, okay."

They fell into silence after that, and soon, the dish was finished, with only the rice left uncooked. Frieren offered to help Himmel clean up the mess of cooking, and when he accepted it, they both cleaned up.

"We're done cooking!" Hansuke announced. 

The two groups pulled their respective mats together and put their dishes in the middle. Hansuke didn't sit down just yet and brought in 3 packs of beer, almost crowding the space they have.

"So how old are you all?"

"I'm 20!" Heiter couldn't even hide his enthusiasm.

Frieren shook her head. "Same." She pointed to Himmel and Eisen. "These two are underaged."

"That makes four of us who will drink, and four younglings who can't," Hansuke said. "Well then, let's eat!"

They all got food then, and Hansuke passed a beer to Frieren, Heiter, and Akemi.

"So what do you guys do?" Hansuke began after taking a sip from his can of beer.

"We're all college students in the same university," Heiter said as he took a sip of beer himself.

"I work for a book publishing company," Akemi chimed in. 

"I'm an architect for a company," Hansuke said. "And these two teenagers are from the same middle school."

The introductions went on until the conversation transitioned into small talk, and eventually, they all finished their food. Heiter was drunk by the end of the meal.

"We're sorry!" Akemi apologized as she bowed, elbowing Hansuke to do the same.

"No, it's fine," Frieren told her, "He just has low alcohol tolerance."

"But--"

"Don't worry, don't worry," Himmel insisted.

Akemi accepted it.

They all cleaned up afterwards, did their routines, and then, it was time to sleep.

In the tent, the four friends' sleeping arrangement had Frieren on one end, Himmel beside her, and Eisen sandwiched in between Himmel and the drunk Heiter. 

Himmel whispered in the dark, "Good night guys."

"We're not kids," Eisen whispered back.

"So what? I just felt like a good night like this should end with something like that."

Frieren debated whether to say it back or not, and her good mood won out and she ended up whispering it back.

Himmel, who had been lying on his back, turned to face Frieren and said it back, this time, only addressed to her. 

Frieren didn't sleep just yet and let Himmel's words ring in her head.

Chapter Text

Temporarily free of the obligation to wake up early, Frieren instinctively took this as an opportunity to sleep in. As it was, she woke up at noon the next day.

"How do you even wake up for school?" Eisen asked in disbelief. 

"My mom used to wake me up, now I snooze my alarm," Frieren answered.

"I'm glad your mom has gotten a break from waking you up."

"Yeah. She deserves it."

Heiter joined in. "Even I woke up earlier than you."

Frieren crossed her arms over her chest. "At least I don't have a hangover."

Heiter only laughed, as did Eisen. Himmel popped in their conversation, "Time for lunch guys."

Frieren excused herself to do her "morning" routines, telling them to leave some food for her. After she finished, she went back to her friends and saw that, just like last night, they were sharing food with Hansuke and his companions. Lunch was pretty uneventful, just a comfortable period spent chatting with each other about daily life, and the weather. Frieren found it nice; she had missed the chatter of her friends. 

The group eventually dispersed when all the food had been eaten, each opting to do their own activities to pass time until dinner. Eisen chose to take a nap, Heiter and Himmel scrolled through their phone, and Frieren pulled out the book that she brought with her. There were occasional interactions though, like Himmel showing his friends a meme that he saw, and the following short conversation about their reactions to the meme. On Hansuke's side, the two teenagers were immersed in exploring the camping ground again, while the two supervising adults were drinking beer. Frieren caught Heiter eyeing them.

"Why don't you go ask them for one?"

Heiter snapped upright, "I'm feeling shy."

Frieren was silent for a moment, debating whether to let him be or to be the one who will ask Hansuke to give Heiter one. She opted to ask them, because she will definitely make sure that Heiter won't be drinking anything tonight and tomorrow after this.

"Can we please have some of your beer?" Frieren asked, immediately feeling shy herself upon doing so. 

"Sure!" Hansuke took two cans from the pack, which seemed to be the last one. Frieren noticed, and was glad for it. Nobody could afford to be drunk now. 

Frieren expressed her thanks and handed Heiter the can.

"Thank you," Heiter said, a stupid smile on his face.

Frieren opened her own beer and took a sip, not seeing the appeal in drinking in the afternoon, when all the hustle and bustle of daily life hasn't been done yet. But she settled with it, it was nearing dark already anyways.

...

Night seemed to draw people closer and provided the atmosphere that made people bare their thoughts to each other, as proven by the way Frieren and the rest decided to chat again.

Hansuke took a bite of his meal before saying, "I'm sure you guys have goals. Let's hear them."

Haruki winced, "Don't you think it's a little bit awkward to be telling that to newly acquainted people?"

Hansuke protested, "Isn't it fine? It's not like it's inappropriate."

"Why not?" Himmel agreed.

"See? I'll start. I want to be the project manager in a project."

Haruki shook her head. "I think my brother just felt a pent up frustration over having his ideas at work ignored, that's why he suddenly wanted to talk about goals."

Hansuke put a finger over his lips. "Shh! Shhhhh. Next up -- Akemi."

Akemi hummed a little. "I feel satisfied with my job... so maybe get a boyfriend?"

With the two older people done, they all fell into silence, needing them to call someone out. They didn't, so Himmel decided to continue.

"I'm currently satisfied... but if I had to admit I want things to progress between me and the girl that I like..."

Frieren wondered who that was, and decided it was a question for another time. She then went ahead to share her goal; saying she wants to be a better friend, then Heiter who said he's satisfied with life and just wants it to continue going smoothly. Eisen went after and admitted he currently just wants college to go well.

Kenji was silent for a while despite it being his turn. Sighing, he finally spoke up, "I only have a longing. To meet somebody from the past and tell them I'm doing fine."

Haruki nodded, and when asked what her goal was, she simply said she shared the same sentiment as Kenji.

The topic ended with Akemi exclaiming about how she didn't know about this past person. The meal ended, the mess cleaned up afterwards. There were still a few hours until bedtime, so each of them went their separate ways. Frieren opted not to read in the dark anymore despite having lamps, so she decided to walk around and take pictures of their camping ground in the night. The stars were plenty in the sky, a splendor that has remained unchanged throughout one lifetime to another. She took one picture, then walked some more, going deeper into the forest that surrounded them. By chance, she heard Haruki and Kenji talking to each other, voices hushed but not enough to prevent a nearby person from eavesdropping.

“Why did you say that a while ago?” Haruki said.

“But you agreed,” Kenji retorted. “What’s the harm anyways?”

“Think about how unexpected it was for them. Even your sister didn’t know about it.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ve been wanting to say that for a long time already.”

They were both silent. Frieren decided to walk away, realizing that the conversation was none of her business; but before she was out of earshot, she heard Eisen’s name eign mentioned.

“Do you think we’ll ever find Master Eisen or Frieren?”

“I don’t know Stark. I don’t know.”

Frieren whipped around, and made her presence known by saying, “I’m right here.”

Haruki, or better yet, Fern, inhaled sharply, the sound audible even across her and Frieren’s distance. “What?”

“I’m Frieren.”

Fern frowned, “Stop joking around. Why were you eavesdropping on us?”

This scenario was getting exhausting for Frieren despite having only done it with Himmel, so she started listing off the memories she had with them both. It took a few rounds of the two teenagers expressing their disbelief over their reunion and Frieren reassuring them it's all real, but they got convinced in the end. Frieren offered to take them to Eisen and Heiter, which they thanked her for.

“I told you we’ll find them,” Stark, the more optimistic of the pair, said.

“I never said anything about not finding them,” Fern replied.

They were at last, back in the open where their tents were pitched. Hansuke and Akemi weren’t anywhere to be found; a convenience that Frieren wasn’t sure who to thank for. She looked for Heiter and Eisen, then introduced them to either respectively. Leaving them to catch up with one another, she sought out Himmel’s presence.

“Could you believe that I found the two kids Eisen and Heiter took care of? They were actually Haruki and Kenji,” she told him.

“Fern and Stark?” Himmel replied.

“Yeah. How did you know about them?”

“They told me in Aureole," Himmel paused, then continued, "I don't think there had been much suffering in our lives before that the goddess would repay us for enduring by letting us meet each other again."

Frieren agreed. She decided it was a mystery, this seemingly undeserved favor; and mystery or not, she was thankful despite the newfound incredulity she felt over meeting even the kids she journeyed with.

"It'd be better if we just accepted it and make the best out of the situation," Frieren mused.

Himmel hummed a note in agreement, and let silence sit comfortably in between them. After quite some time, the teenagers went to Frieren.

They all stared at each other.

“We’ve been well, Miss Frieren,” Fern began.

"I made sure she wasn't lonely," Stark quipped in. Fern elbowed him before continuing. "Is he the hero Himmel?"

Frieren nodded. The two teenagers proceeded to bow at Himmel to show their respect. Fern looked as if she wanted to say something to Himmel, mouth parted as she faced him. She turned to Frieren in the end. "So you haven't been lonely too, miss Frieren."

Frieren smiled. "I just met them a few months ago, but yes, I haven't been lonely."

"I'm glad. Stark and I are childhood friends in this life, and we only discovered who each other was in the first year of middle school."

"We got lucky, huh."

"Yes, miss Frieren."

Frieren heard someone calling out from a small distance. She turned around, and saw Hansuke and Akemi carrying plastic bags from a convenience store. When the two adults reached them, Hansuke said, "We bought snacks. Does anyone want to stay up late?"

Frieren saw this as an opportunity for her, Eisen, and Heiter to catch up with Fern and Stark, and for Himmel to get to know them. She told Hansuke that she will be joining them, and asked Fern and Stark if they will too. They agreed. They were all leaving tomorrow in the afternoon after all, so staying up late and eventually sleeping in late as well won't do any harm. Frieren called Heiter and Eisen over, and with that, they spent the night talking.
...

Frieren woke up the next day at noon again, and upon exiting the tent saw her company eating brunch, which was meat buns from the convenience store. Her stomach grumbled at the thought of meat buns, so she hurriedly took care of her daily routines. Once done, she finally got some of the meat buns she was craving.

Time passed quickly after that; and with everything packed up and everyone ready to go, they all said their farewells.

Frieren watched as Hansuke shook hands with Himmel. "You guys were great company." He took the opportunity to advertise the architectural firm he was working in and added with a laugh while handing a business card, "If you all need someone to design your house, just give me a call."

After that, Fern walked to Frieren.

"I hope you contact me often, miss Frieren."

"Of course."

They separated ways then, and got into their cars. Once inside, Frieren was overcome with drowsiness that the afternoon sky and lingering heat brought. Beside her was Himmel, warm himself; his shoulders broad and just the perfect height for Frieren to lay her head on one side, almost as if they're enticing her to do just that. And she did just that.

She mumbled, "Let me borrow your shoulder for a bit." She closed her sleepy eyes, and was engulfed by the comfortable feeling of safety and rest.

Somehow, Himmel smelled like the sun.

Chapter Text

Two months have passed since summer break, and Frieren found that she no longer had much time to chance upon lazy hours spent staring at her surroundings and the consequent spiralling into introspection. Those hours were instead, spent doing the grueling work of studying. Meeting up with friends was a rare occasion, but messages between them were constant, as before. She was surprised she wasn't overwhelmed yet, what with the new addition of Fern and Stark to her contacts.

Frieren leaned back into the chair in her apartment room, mechanical pencil twirling in her fingers. She couldn't afford to dawdle; she has a quiz tomorrow; but she couldn't find it in her to focus again for the reasons that she was certain the information she needed tomorrow was already imprinted in her mind, and that the memory of falling asleep on Himmel's shoulder was creeping in her mind. She was, to be blunt, ignorant when it came to romance. One of Frieren's fatal flaw -- socially, at least -- was the fact that she was bad at differentiating what kind of treatment she's getting from different people and recognizing care. She thought she had no need for it, and only showed it as a payment for the good will she managed to recognize, due to the fact she had lived solitary for so long, or maybe it was just because she was an elf and that elves perceived life differently than a human.

This made her blind to Himmel's romantic advances for so long, only realizing in this life thanks to the handful of romance books she read to pass time, that what he had been showing her was affection motivated by romantic intentions.

She questioned herself what she would tell Himmel on what seemed to her the unlikely chance that he was still holding onto his affection for her. She felt oddly frustrated over this; if Himmel ever confessed to her, she needed the answer to it or she would surely have a replay of what already happened between him and her. Who was Himmel to her, anyways? She thought back on all the instances she longed to have Himmel by her side just to tell him how she felt about him. A ray of light, a guiding light; light, light, light. He was so bright in her memories, and if she may borrow from the books she has read words she can use to describe what she felt about this, then she was a moth to the flame, helplessly drawn towards him. It was her one luck that this attraction didn't end up in her destruction. She paused. Attraction. It was no mystery to her anymore that she cared for Himmel; she had solved that in Himmel's absence in her past life; but this? This was revelation to her.

"Attraction," she muttered, having the bright idea that many others resort to thinking of searching the internet what attraction meant and whether there were types of it. It was a modern world after all. She made a quick search in her phone, and immediately found article after article describing in full detail the specifics of attraction. Just like reading her precious grimoires, she read it word for word at a quick pace; mind accustomed to processing words despite the high speed at which they are being read.

From what she had just read, romantic attraction was the desire to engage with someone romantically. It meant wanting to show them romantic gestures, and receiving them as well. She had read books about romance already, though not fond of it, so she already had an idea about what these were. Giving flowers, going on dates. She understood giving flowers -- she already had done that -- and understood wanting to spend some time alone with a person. She related to these as something platonic.

"Is that it?" she wondered, "I think I only want him as a friend."

But Frieren couldn't deny that she wanted to do and show certain things to Himmel, and only to Himmel. She wanted to ramble to him about her love for magic, and now, her newfound love for science; wanted to try different food with him; and wanted to ignore his self-aggrandizing remarks with playfulness and still affirm him as the amazing human being that he is. Only with him. The line between romance and friendship became blurry to her; but if she could say that romance can take a different shape depending on the person -- take the shape that she wanted it to be-- then she'd say that she was definitely romantically attracted to Himmel.

She still had reservations about her realization, however; having been unacquainted with romantic love for centuries, or maybe just having no awareness of it. She decided to talk to Fern about it. Somehow, she knew that the child would know more about it.

She quickly typed a greeting to Fern, asking if she was busy. Fern replied quickly, saying she wasn't.

Frieren: That was quick. Middle schoolers have it easy, huh.
Fern: For now.
Frieren: I have a question.
Fern: What about?
Frieren: About love.

Fern sent a reaction image portraying her shock.
Fern: That's new. Do you like someone, miss Frieren?
Frieren: That's what I want to know. I'm not sure if I like them that way.
Fern: Well, do you want to be with them?
Frieren: Yes, but that's not enough as a reason, is it?
Fern: Do you want to kiss them?

Frieren contemplated about this for a while.

Frieren: If it's him, then I won't mind.
Fern: Ehhhh
Frieren: Actually, I can't imagine ever kissing anyone but him.
Frieren: And there's the feeling that it is only him that I want to show all aspects of myself to. I trust him deeply. If I ever get married, he's the only one I can imagine marrying.
Fern: You say such complicated things, miss Frieren. Can't get a straight yes or no from you.
Fern: I think you like him? And that you already think that if you would ever love someone, it would only be him?
Frieren: Well, I do really like him. It never mattered to me what form that love was, all I really want is to be where he is, but I think it matters to him so I'm asking.
Fern: I think I know who you like, miss Frieren.
Frieren: You don't. I never told you.
Fern: It's master Himmel.

Frieren raised both of her brows.

Frieren: How did you know?
Fern: How could I not? Don't think that I never noticed that you'd always smile fondly at any mention of master Himmel back then.
Frieren: You're saying I liked him even back then?
Fern: Maybe.
Fern: Actually, yes!

Frieren felt laughter threatening to spill from her lips. She was astonished. She couldn't even deny it.

Frieren: I think you're right.
Fern: Well? Are you going to confess to him?
Frieren: Do I really have to? I think that I would never feel the same way with another person, so I think that's enough.
Fern: You really have no notion of anything romantic.
Frieren: I'll consider that then.
Frieren: But I'm not sure he even feels the same as me anymore.
Fern: Just do it; who knows what will happen?

Frieren stared at the messages for a while.

Confessing, huh.

If Himmel wanted it, then she'd do it.

Chapter Text

Himmel woke up before the sun. The air inside his room entered his nose and into his lungs, and it felt like breathing in something fresh and new, like the forest air. A sign of good health, perhaps. He relished in the moment, sitting up in his bed with his curtains parted to let the sunlight flood in when the sun finally rises. After another hour of powdery, dark skies, the sun rose; tinting the sky a light yellow and revealing a shade of blue as soft as sunlight. His every waking has been wondrous as of late, and he could only attribute it to the fact that he was in love. It must be that; he felt like it would be lying if he didn't admit that it was Frieren who he should thank for this feeling. Well, he could thank his friends too, and feel that it was genuine, but really; it was Frieren.

The awareness that it was yet another Sunday, a day of rest from school, dawned on him when the sun got fully set in its place up in the sky. He proceeded to check his phone for messages from his friends, and wondered if his friends had telepathy. There was a new group chat with him, Eisen, and Heiter, and there were messages. He opened the chat, and scrolling to the first message, he saw a picture of him blushing as Frieren rested her head on his shoulder. Thinking back on when this happened, it was during their ride home from camping.

Eisen: I think it's high time for Himmel to confess to Frieren.
Heiter: Agreed.

The messages ended there, and Himmel found the opportunity to reply.

Himmel: What the heck guys, when did you take the photo?

It took a few minutes before somebody replied.

Eisen: My gut told me there was something happening in the back of the car.
Himmel: Cool.
Himmel: Also what do you mean "confess"?
Eisen: Exactly what it means.
Himmel: Yeah, okay, but how? I already did back in Aureole and got rejected without her knowing.
Eisen: You try again.
Heiter: Eisen, tell him the plan.
Eisen: It's simple, really.
Eisen: We're all going to plan to go out today, but Heiter and I are going to ditch you two at the last minute. Then you confess to her.
Himmel: You guys are sneaky.
Heiter: But it does get the job done.
Himmel: Planning out a confession like this takes the spontaneity out. Feels insincere.
Eisen: How insincere could it get? You've been in love with her in two lifetimes.

Himmel slapped a hand on his head. It was too sudden. He weighed his options, and relented. This was an opportunity as good as any other. "If not now, then when?" he thought.

Himmel: Fine.

Heiter and Eisen both sent gifs showing their triumph, and with that, they enacted the plan.
...

"Heiter and Eisen can't make it after all. They say something urgent came up," Frieren told Himmel as they sat inside a cafe.

Himmel winced, opposed to having to hide things from Frieren, and said reluctantly, "Too bad, huh."

"Yeah."

"Let's just spend the day together then?"

"Great."

Himmel was relieved that Frieren wasn't too disappointed in the fact that it would only be the two of them. They decided to eat lunch then, and ordered themselves drinks and food. Their meal was peppered in with conversation, and it took them an hour and a half before leaving the cafe. Himmel scoured his mind for a place that would have a romantic atmosphere, and thought that the view deck on his way home was the perfect place. He debated inside him whether they should spend some more time in other places, and decided that they should go to the arcade, then he could go confess.

"Let's go to the arcade?" Himmel asked Frieren.

"Sure," was Frieren's brief reply. It made Himmel slightly paranoid, thinking that Frieren was more reserved than usual because it was only him that she was with. Normally, he was confident in himself as enjoyable company, but this; she was the woman he loved, and the urge to please was too high. Maybe he was overthinking things and was being dumb, or maybe not. It set him on edge.

They went to the arcade, and Himmel spent the time mulling over the confession and losing to Frieren in every game they played.

Finally, they've reached their spending limit, and Himmel asked Frieren if she'd like to go to the view deck where he planned to confess to her. She agreed. Himmel wanted to set the pace of their walking to a high speed, but Frieren was even more intent on taking a leisurely walk, lagging behind him and not taking the initiative to catch up. Himmel was forced to take her pace.

"You're kind of weird today, Himmel," Frieren commented as they neared the view deck.

Himmel felt a pang of disappointment. "I was being bad company, wasn't I?"

"Not really, but I prefer the usual you."

Himmel was conflicted about whether he should feel bad Frieren had to put up with such bad company, or happy that Frieren liked being with him even now. He suddenly felt silly and stupid for worrying so much, and thought that he should have just enjoyed his time with her.

"You're getting better at observing people, huh," Himmel quipped in.

Frieren replied, "Good. I only intend to get better."

‌"Ah... it seems like i made this whole day go to waste with me being an unenjoyable company."

‌"I said I don't really mind. Anywhere's good if it's with you."

They finally reached the view deck at this moment, and Himmel waited until they were standing still behind the railings before he faced Frieren and replied, "Do you mean that?"
‌
"Of course."

"As a friend?"
‌
"What?
‌
Himmel, his heartstrings being pulled at by Frieren's words, finally found the opportunity to confess. "I want you to mean that not as a friend, but as someone who likes me.

"I like -- love you Frieren," Himmel said, slowly, taking this chance to clarify what he hadn't been able to in his past life. "I never said this before, but I wanted to go out with you."

"And if I don't want to?" Frieren said.

Himmel couldn't help but feel a sting in his heart -- she was the woman he loved after all -- but as it had been in his life so long ago and even as he rediscovered it now, he just simply loved Frieren.
"Then I'd be fine with that too," he said, voice soft. "You are first and foremost, my friend, Frieren. Even if we can't be... lovers, then I would still be eternally grateful I have you."

"You really are just so bright Himmel," Frieren smiled, "A ray of light."

They watched the sunset deepen in the sky, the oranges and yellows reflecting the warmth they held for each other. Himmel watched as the shine of the sun sparkled in Frieren's eyes, their beauty making his heart ache. Frieren gave Himmel an answer then, "I'd like to go out with you, too, Himmel."

Himmel's eyes were glass reflecting a fair maiden in that moment, only seeing beauty, only showing beauty. He felt like he had the greatest triumph out of all the heroes in history, felt that this was greater than any ambition achieved. Frieren's agreement took up the whole space inside his brain, sweeping all other thoughts away; that even as he knew he had to reply to that admission, he could only muster a few syllables. He settled for a pause to calm himself down, until  he was like again, simply pining; expecting nothing, accustomed to simply being the one who was loving. Once again, softly, in the voice he uses to say the sweetest of names to him; he said, "Thank you."

His hand felt for Frieren's and, feeling his fingertips brush against hers, waited for a response. Frieren's mind luckily registered this as an invite to hold hands, and she put hers over his. Himmel turned his palm over and laced his fingers with Frieren, the weight of her hands something so light it felt unreal and at the same time, heavy enough to feel the weight of her affection.

Himmel didn't ask for anything more, content with the faintest of touch from the person he thought was forever unreachable, but to his surprise, Frieren put her head on his shoulder.

"I think I've loved you even back then, Himmel," Frieren said.

"I'm happy."

"And you?"

"I know I've loved you even back then."

Chapter Text

Frieren sighed contentedly as she rested her head on Himmel's shoulders for the second time since their camping trip. It was so safe, so comforting just having him near her. She was glad that they mutually liked each other; she really couldn't imagine ever loving anyone else.

She watched the scenery around her; the sensation of Himmel breathing next to her and the tranquility of the sunset evoking in her the sense that the world was beautiful. She then thought of how all the people she treasured in her life imparted with her the gift of perceiving the world as beautiful.

Fern taught her the beauty of dedication and sincerity, Stark the reality that we all depend on each other, Eisen the worth of accepting things as they are and finding meaning in them, and Heiter the happiness of enjoying life; all these condensing into the worldview that there were so many things that were beautiful in this world. They got reflected onto the scenes she saw as she passed time, branches of trees and expanses of grass serving as symbols of them.

And he; Himmel; was the one who showed her the wonders of gentleness amongst many other things. It was in the touch of his hand, the way he called her name, in the tentative way he inched closer to her. And now it was in the curve of a petal, the flapping of a bird's wings, the dipping of a dragonfly on water.

Frieren leaned into Himmel's shoulders, thinking that she was lucky for having and realizing she had all these; and immersed herself into the pleasant feeling of the rise and fall of Himmel's shoulders, reminded of the fact that this was real and this was happening now.

They had no words for each other anymore, content in merely being in each other's presence. The world stood in silence with them, as if honoring their bond that they, at long last, connected after centuries of hiding and being unknowing.
...

The sun has hidden from their corner of the world, its light only reflected by the moon and mingling with the hundreds of stars now as Himmel walked Frieren home. 

"I wanted to confess to you too, Himmel," Frieren admitted.

"I beat you to it, huh," Himmel replied.

"I'm going to do it anyways," Frieren said. 

"It took me living two lifetimes to realize, but I love you Himmel."

Frieren and Himmel stopped in front of the gate of Frieren's apartment building. She faced him, a thought brewing in her head. She decided to act on it, stood on her toes, and planted a kiss on Himmel's lips. She didn't expect that kissing Himmel would be so pleasurable, something so honestly true to herself. It was like an answer to a question she never asked herself, but needed to. She was right. He was the only one she could ever kiss. They parted after a few more seconds, and when they did, Frieren watched as Himmel staggered a few steps back, hand flying to his lips.

"Goodnight," Frieren said.

"Can we do that again?" Himmel asked, slightly breathless when he did.

Frieren smiled at him and took his hand as she inched closer. In a gentle swoop, Himmel placed his lips on hers and embraced her, the distance so intimate it felt like they were fitting in a hollow in each other's soul that was carved out to make space for a piece of each other. 

They parted for the second time, finally saying goodbye with reluctance. What Himmel thought afterwards, Frieren didn't know; but to Frieren, this first time that she was kissed by the one she loved changed something fundamental in her. She was a different person now; a being that now knows of love.