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“He PATTED you on the shoulder?” Joss exclaims, her voice getting louder after each word.
Trina just groans and falls back against her bed, grabbing one of her pillows to smother her scream. “For the 1 millionth time, YES! Can you stop making me repeat it? It’s embarrassing.” That image of Spencer going home with Esme is burned into her retina. Trina missed Joss while being on the Haunted Star, but if Joss kept asking her to repeat her damn self, Trina was this close to throwing a pillow at her.
Trina had returned to campus three days after coming back to Port Charles. Joss and Trina had talked over the phone, but Trina wasn't ready for visitors just yet. So, naturally, they had loads to catch each other up on once she came back to the dorm. For a moment, Joss doesn't say anything. Trina opens one eye to catch Joss with a mischievous glint in her eyes and her texting away.
Trina sits up to question her friend, but Joss is already off her bed and is pulling Trina up by the arm towards the bathroom. Lucky for them, their dorm room had a private bathroom. "What are you doing--?" Trina protests. Joss has a bunch of Trina's clothes in her arms.
"You are getting out of those sweatpants--"
"I like these--"
"Doesn't matter!" Joss shoves the clothes into Trina's arms as she pushes her further into the bathroom. "We are having company over."
“Joss!"
"What?" Joss shrugs with an innocent expression on her face. "We have our calculus exam next week."
"There should be an excuse for being trapped on a boat while also trying to save the world, right?"
"Not the point, Trina. I just remembered that Thomas and Derrick wanted to study with us. I heard him say you were cute by the way. So, I texted them to come by in 10."
Trina’s eyes widen as she turns back around, but Joss blocks her exit. “You--"
“Already done! It'd be rude to cancel now."
“One, no it's not and second, I have a boyfriend in case you forgot,” Trina deadpans.
“Not the way he’s acting." Joss just crosses her arms, making it clear that she had no plans on moving. “This hot and cold routine is getting old.”
“Doesn't matter! I’m not flirting with Derrick or any other guy. I’m in a relationship.”
Joss rolls her eyes. “Fine, fine. This is just studying, Trina. Which happens to be in our dorm room. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
Trina sighs, her shoulders sagging in defeat as she falls back against the counter. “Yeah, I need the distraction. I just…” Spencer hadn't texted her since they got back. To be fair, she hadn't reached out to him either. Somehow, she felt like she was intruding just like when she went to Laura's and saw Esme there. It was like a gut punch. When they all walked away together, she hated to admit it but they looked like a family. And now he hadn't texted her. God, she hated feeling this way--second guessing. When they were in Greenland, she felt so in sync with him--being able to know what he was thinking and when she felt that he was still alive. Now, they're back and she feels even more disconnected from him.
“I thought we were getting somewhere in Greenland. Then, we get back home and he’s still living with his ex. What am I supposed to do with that--how am I supposed to feel about that? I can’t even say anything because it’s for his baby brother." Joss joins her by the counter, wrapping her arms around Trina, rubbing her back. “Sometimes, Spencer just feels so far away. Like there’s too much of his family drama going on that there’s not enough space in his life for anything or anyone..."
“Why don’t you tell him that then?” Joss asks.
Trina pulls away from Joss's embrace. She brushes her hair out of her face. “You know how Spencer is. When he’s passionate about something, he has tunnel vision. Just like when he was pretending to be on Esme’s side. He could see how much it hurt me but he went ahead anyway because he thought he could do right by me. It’s noble what he’s doing and I don’t want to stop him from doing what he thinks is right by his little brother.”
“Your feelings matter too, and Laura and Kevin are more than capable of handling Esme and Ace with no help from Spencer. Spencer just makes problems for himself. Now enough about him. Get dressed.” Joss leaves the bathroom and just as she is about to go over to her side of the room...
Beep!
Joss looks back at the bathroom to make sure Trina's still in there. Joss picks up Trina's phone, already anticipating who the text is from.
Spencer
Hey, beautiful! Could I swing by the dorms?
Joss grins. Wow, her plan was working out perfectly and she barely did anything. She quickly sends back a text, saying sure. She wasn't meddling; just helping these two get out of each other's way for once. She was doing a favor for her two friends. Trina and Spencer were good for each other, of that Joss was sure of.
The four had taken a break from studying calculus, although Joss noticed out of the corner of her eye that Trina was hugging her calculus textbook to death like she was squeezing her beloved squishmallow. Before Joss could call Trina out on it, Joss' phone buzzes. "Ah ha! Our Cafe order is ready. Come on, Thomas. Let's pick it up." Before Joss closes the door, leaving it open just a smidge, she winks at Trina who just rolls her eyes at her friend's antics.
"And then there were four," Derrick tries to break the awkward silence but to no avail. Trina can only muster up a polite chuckle before making her way over the door, silently plotting revenge on Joss. For the first time since he arrived, Trina takes the time to actually look at him. He was a good looking guy. The two of them had been in plenty of classes before since Derrick was also an art history major. But despite sharing many classes, she never paid him much attention. She didn't want to sound like an art snob, but his perspectives were pretty bland and simplistic. Like someone who just read the wiki how summaries of the readings and oh my God, she sounded like Spencer. Spencer--the guy she didn't feel like thinking about but he was sprinkled throughout her thoughts nonetheless. Spencer didn't just look at art; he understood what it meant because he had experience with the shadows and the light all his life.
Before she can think further about Spencer, Derrick's voice pulls her out of her thoughts. "I really like your afro by the way."
Absentmindedly, Trina's hand flies to touch her hair. Let's just say that she couldn't wait to take out her box braids as soon as she got home. She loved her braids, but it was nice to let her hair breathe sometimes. Trina returns his smile with a polite one of her own. She's occupying her hands with some of Joss' stress balls on her desk. “Thanks, Derrick.” She freezes, realizing that she should probably compliment him back. He had a terrible Bieber haircut but his shirt was nice with the design of all the Avengers. “Nice t-shirt. I love Marvel too.”
“Did you check out the latest movie yet?” The one that came out last week...Did Derrick miss the part when she told him she'd been stuck on a boat for the past month?
She decides to ignore the part about him being a bad listener, and just shakes her head. “Haven’t gotten the chance. Was it good?”
“Best movie of the year. So good that I’d be willing to watch it again. So long as I have the right company.”
“Um…” Trina's eyes widen and she swallows down her snort. Yep, there it was. There was no doubt that he was hitting on her just now.
“I’m sorry,” Derrick says. “I realize that this might be uncomfortable since I’m in your dorm room. I just wanted to put it out there if you might want to go to the movies with me this weekend. You don’t have to say anything now. Just a thought I had, but I um…Actually, forget I said anything--”
“Derrick, I have a boyfriend,” Trina interjects but she's cut off by a knock on her dorm door. Trina gets up instantly, saying, “forgot something—“ to see Spencer in the doorway. “Spencer—?"
Spencer immediately pulls her in for a hug, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “Trina!” He whispers into her hair.
“Was that Joss?” Derrick calls out.
Spencer freezes and Trina squeezes her eyes shut. Spencer's arms slowly fall from around Trina. Spencer pushes the door wide open to spot Derrick who just waves.
“Oh hey—-” Derrick politely greets to Spencer’s stormy expression. “Oh is this your—“
“Yeah, I’m the boyfriend. Who the hell are you?” Spencer doesn't even try to hide the contempt in his voice.
Derrick freezes up, laughing nervously. “Oh, I'm just a study buddy.”
Spencer looks unamused and he glances back and forth between Derrick and Trina. “Can we have some privacy please?" Although he's asking a question, the tone of his voice leaves no room for any other result. “In my girlfriend’s dorm—"
The arrogance in Spencer's voice is enough to snap Trina out of it. She shakes her head, and pushes Spencer out of the room, shutting the door behind her. "Oh, no, no." Trina crosses her arms. “Don’t do that. Don’t come here days later acting like you own this place and giving orders.” Trina points to the name placards on the door. "Last time I checked, it's me and Joss' names on that door."
“What are you doing with him?” Spencer mirrors Trina's body language.
“Studying—”
“In your room? I haven’t even been in your dorm—"
Is he serious right now? “When would we have had the time? We were held hostage on a boat for a month.”
“But you made time for your 'study buddy'?”
“We are studying for a Calculus exam.”
"Isn't being stranded at sea reason enough to excuse an exam?" Spencer asks. He's still trying to process the fact that some other guy was sitting on his girlfriend's bed. Those sheets needed to be burned. But, the most he'd get away with is throwing out the sheets or doing laundry..."Anyway, you would be reacting the same way if this were reversed. How would you like it if I had another girl in my—“ Spencer trails off as he sees the irony. Spencer winces as he falls back against the wall.
An amused smirk stretches across Trina's face. “Oh, no, go ahead and finish."
Before Spencer can speak again, Derrick exits from the room. He has his study books with him and looks like he's trying to get away before anyone can notice him. Of course, Spencer took the hint and said to hell with it. Spencer straightens his back and pushes himself off the wall. "Hey, Rick, was it? You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" Spencer glances at Trina who's staring daggers at him. "That's not very nice of your 'study buddy.' "
"Leave him alone! If you're mad at anyone, it's me and you don't have a right to be." Trina leaves Spencer's side to walk towards Derrick. "I'm sorry, Derrick," she stresses his name while tossing a look over her shoulder at Spencer who is just glaring like the petty prince he is. "Raincheck?"
"I'll text you--"
Before Derrick can finish, Trina feels Spencer's presence behind her and she prepares herself for the the inevitable flare of annoyance that will flow through her veins. "Might I suggest the library next time?" Spencer suggests in the most fake helpful voice she's ever heard. "You have heard of the library before, right? It's right across the street--I'm sure there's a directory around here somewhere--"
"I'll see you, Trina." Derrick practically races down the hallway.
Trina turns back around just to see Spencer's cheeky grin. Trina grabs his arm and pulls him into the room. "You think you're pretty cute, huh? With what just happened?" Spencer just shrugs. "Acting like an ass doesn't impress me. Try again."
"I'm sorry..." Spencer had been so focused on the fact that his girlfriend had another guy sitting on her bed, that he missed the fact that she didn't have her braids in. Here she was, beautiful as ever with her afro. Just when he thought he was processing her beauty, he was hit with just another reminder of how lucky he was to have her in his life. "I love your hair," he says in a hushed whisper.
Trina bites her lip and she feels the heat rush to her cheeks. This was the first time Spencer has seen her natural hair. "Thank you," she manages to get out.
They let a moment or two pass them before Spencer fills the silence. “Can we just start over?”
Instead of answering, Trina just shuffles around in her drawer before pulling out her bonnet and brush. She heads towards the bathroom, Spencer following right behind her. She can tell this is going to be one of those conversations tonight and she was teeing herself up for a long restful sleep after it. Little did she know that her movements with the brush back and forth in front of the mirror mesmerized Spencer that he almost forgot why he came by.
After Trina has put her hair in her bonnet, she places her palms on the counter. Taking this opportunity, Spencer comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He lays his chin on her shoulder. After what feels like an eternity, Trina meets his eyes through the mirror. Her brown eyes softened for the first time since he arrived. “You asked me the same thing last Christmas."
"A lot has changed since then," he whispers against her neck.
"Aren't you tired of asking for the same thing?"
Spencer shakes his head. "Not when it comes to you."
"I can't read you sometimes."
"What do you mean?"
Trina turns around in his arms to face him. “I felt like we were closer than ever after Greenland.”
“We are. Do you not feel the same way?”
“Me? Do you not feel the same way?”
“Of course not!”
“I don’t know where I belong with you, Spencer.”
"With me!" He says it so quickly like it's a truth as easy as the fact that the sun rises. Spencer grabs Trina's hand and places it over his heart. “You’re right here. Always.”
Trina yanks her hand away, already missing his touch. “You say that, but then once we get back home, you act like a completely different person.”
“Ok, explain it to me like I’m 5.”
Trina feels the heat rush to her face. Now, saying it aloud, she feels dumb and feels like it’s trivial, but she squares her shoulders, forcing herself to find the courage to own her feelings. She’s never had this problem before so she shouldn’t start now. Especially now. She did not spend nights sulking just to suck it up now when she has her chance. “When you walked past me at the hospital…you just patted me on the shoulder.”
“Ok, yeah, I did do that.” Spencer groans. "I'm sorry."
“You didn’t text or call me as you walked out to go back living with your ex girlfriend.” Trina glances down, surprised at the tears she feels in her eyes as she talks about it. “I always feel like I’m on the outside looking in with you. First, it was when you came back to town and then Esme showed up. Then, it was when you were pretending to be on Esme’s side. And now, we’re together, but how many other girlfriends have their boyfriends living with their exes and playing house with the girl who nearly ruined my future and my best friends? You say I’m always in here,” Trina points to his chest, “But, the problem is that I don’t feel that way. And the worst part is that I don’t want to go to Laura’s because then I feel like I’m intruding or I’m a bother—“
“You’re not a bother. I want you there—“
Suddenly, Trina wants to give him an out and she’s not hearing anything he’s saying. “Maybe you thought about me and you, and you don’t think now is a good time for us to start anything. And you can tell me that. I won’t be mad, just hurt. But I’d rather you be straight up with me than doing that—“
Before Trina can ramble even more, he cuts Trina off with a kiss. “I don’t want a break from you…” He whispers against her lips. He hoists Trina up so she’s sitting on the bathroom counter, positioning her so legs hang over on each side of his hips. He pushes her back so she’s pressed against the mirror. “Do you have any idea how badly I missed you? I wanted to pick up the phone to hear your voice so many times..."
“Then why didn’t you?” Trina grabs onto the lapels of his jacket to pull him closer.
“I didn’t know what to say…how to explain to you my living circumstances. I’m not good at talking but..." Spencer's eyes dart down towards her lips, his eyes darkening just the slightest which makes Trina take a huge gulp. "I can show you just how badly I want you all over this got damned campus.” He smiles, his nose brushing up against hers. “God, I never want to spend a second away from you. Without you…my life is colorless. I need you, Trina Robinson.”
Trina pulls away, breathless from his nearness and his kisses. He looks dazed out of his mind and he moves closer to kiss her again, as though he might die without touching his lips to her skin this very second. Trina is able to maintain some self-control as her hands find their way to his shoulders, stilling Spencer. “Could’ve fooled me,” she says quietly. “Why did you do it? Why do you push me out?”
Spencer presses his forehead against Trina's. His hands drift from her shoulders to her waist. For the first time since he got here, he moves his gaze away from hers. He's looking at everywhere behind and around Trina to admit what he's so ashamed of: he failed Trina. “I…you gassed me up to be a hero to your family. The way you looked at me. Then I saw how hurt you were when I left with my grandmother, that woman, and my baby brother. I couldn’t l-look at you. The fact that I hurt you again. I was embarrassed. And I hate feeling like that.”
“What hurt me more wasn’t that you left, but how. I’ve never been lucky in love. There was Dev…you know what happened to him. Then Cam…then you and then it was Rory. And now it’s you again." Trina squeezes his hand that's on her waist, prompting him to meet her eyes. She shrugs as if to say it is what it is. "Even when I have you, it feels like you’re not really with me.”
Spencer moves Trina's hand so it's on his chest, right above his heart. “Do you feel that?” Trina nods. “You have me, Trina Robinson. You always have. I just…I’m embarrassed that I’ve let you down--"
"You haven't let me down--"
"But it feels like I did. Back in Greenland, I knew that we were in danger. But, as crazy as that sounds, I never felt like you were safer than when you were in my arms where I could keep you safe.” No matter what happened on that boat, it didn't matter. He wasn't scared because he had Trina, and no matter what else happened, he knew that they'd be by each other's sides.
“I felt safe too. I knew you’d never let your uncle hurt me.”
“I was scared out of my mind, thinking that something was gonna happen to you and I wouldn’t be there to stop it. And now, there is someone who can hurt you and that’s Esme. She will always be a threat to you and I hate that she’s still in our lives and I-I can’t protect you from that.”
“Spencer—you are not responsible for what Esme does. That is way too much pressure to put on yourself, baby.” Spencer hangs his head at hearing that. When he looks back up at her, her heart nearly breaks at seeing the worry in his eyes.
When she caresses his cheek, he turns his cheek to chase her touch. It feels like home with her just like everything does. How can she not see—feel—that? “How can I not? The last time I wasn’t careful enough, you nearly lost everything. How can I say that I love you and put you through that again?”
Trina's strokes against his cheek pause. Her eyes widen. Did he just...? “W-what did you just say?” Her voice wobbles and her eyes dart back and forth across his face, looking for any sign that she misheard him. To her relief, she doesn't see any signs of misunderstanding. She just sees vulnerability. “You love me…You’ve never said that before…”
Spencer's brow crunches in confusion. “Huh—“ And then it dawns on him what he just said. He said he loves her. He thinks about that all the time so it just naturally slipped out. He feels the heat rush to his cheeks. He nods and fights off his first instinct which is to dismiss it so he doesn't get hurt first if she doesn't feel the same way. He needs to stop being afraid of losing Trina because the way he's going...he inevitably will and well--that just won't do. He's so certain that she'll reject his love that he doesn't even register Trina's adorable dimples and her excited giggling bouncing around the room. “I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you since the moment we met. I know you might not—you probably don’t—feel the same way and that’s ok—“
This time, it is Trina who cuts him off with a kiss. When she pulls back, there are tears in her eyes. He didn't realize it until now, but he had tears in his eyes too. He watches as one of his tears falls onto Trina's cheek. “I love you too, Spencer--I’m in love with you. I always have been.”
“You love me?” Spencer says, a chuckle of disbelief escapes him.
“You think I’d put up with you if I didn’t?” She says, tears freely falling down her cheeks now. Instinctively, his finger dashes out to wipe away her tears. “You're spoiled and entitled, but you're also loyal and always go the distance for your friends and family when they need you. All your antics drive me crazy, Spencer, but I love you anyway."
"Even though I acted like an ass to that guy just now?"
"Even then." Trina brushes aside some of Spencer's tears as well. "I still love you--"
Spencer kisses her again before she finishes her sentence. “How do you expect me to let you go tonight when you’ve said those magic words I’ve been dreaming about for an eternity?”
Trina hops down off the counter, much to Spencer's disappointment. She shrugs, putting her arms behind her back, looking up at him coyly. “You’ll live.” When Trina tries to walk away, Spencer grabs her around the waist and lifts her up again so she's straddling his hips. She wraps her arms around his neck. She gives him that pleading look that gets him every time. Doesn't she know he'd give her the world--she only had to ask. She caresses his cheek softly, her brown eyes so full of love. "Don't push me out, Spencer," she whispers. He's been afraid for so long that if he shows someone the broken pieces of himself, he'll be unloveable. But, here is this amazing woman right in front of him that accepts him for all of his faults. And her love for him has never wavered.
“And I don’t want you to do what you always do: hide your feelings. I wanna know how you’re feeling—the good or bad, better or worse.”
“I’ve always had that bad habit. Like when my parents got divorced, I felt like I had to put on a happy face for them so they wouldn’t know how much it hurt that our family was breaking up.”
Spencer brushes the pad of his hand against her cheek and Trina closes her eyes, reveling in his touch. “You don’t have to do that with me.”
“I know. I know.” Trina sighs and pouts in that adorable way that Spencer can’t help but lean forward to press his lips to hers. "We’re a work in progress."
He grins as he pulls away from her lips to brush a kiss to her neck. “I like that about us.”
“Me too.”
This time, they finally do manage to tear themselves away from the bathroom and back into her room. Before Trina can do anything else, Spencer hightails it to Trina's bed only to yank the sheets off the bed and roughly throws them on the floor. "What are you doing?" Trina chuckles.
Spencer shrugs as though he's doing the most normal thing in the world. "It's laundry day."
Trina scrunches up her eyebrows. When she looks back up at him, her eyes brighten. “Oh my God!” A sly smile makes its way onto Trina’s face. “It’s because Derrick sat on my bed.” Trina playfully rounds the bed to Spencer's side, gently pushing his chest. “You are so jealous right now, aren’t you? That you’re willing to do laundry with your bare hands?”
Spencer shrugs as though it’s obvious. “I never denied that I’m jealous. Actually, I thought I made that abundantly obvious. Also, I have done laundry before. I didn’t just have my butler do everything for me." Trina just bursts into laughter which is music to his ears. But, he was still looking at the bed, calculating how much it would be to buy an entirely new bed frame without Trina noticing.
After Spencer put the load in the washing machine, he finds Trina back in her room, sitting at her chair in front of her desk. Upon hearing him, Trina spins around in her chair to face him. He kneels before her, grasping each of Trina's hands. “Trina!” He says her name like he's saying it for the very first time. And he says her name with such reverence that Trina is sure that she might melt just then and there. She's standing (well sitting) here with the man she loves who loves her back and she couldn't be happier. She couldn't ask for more than this moment and many moments to come thereafter.
For a moment, Spencer forgets what he had to say as he just takes a second to admire the woman before him. There must be a God for him to be this lucky to have her in his life. “I came by today because I missed you, and I wanted you to come apartment hunting with me.” He smiles for the millionth time since coming here once he sees the joy dance across her eyes.
Trina’s eyes widen. Ok, she was totally lying when she said she couldn't ask for more! “Are you serious?”
“What, you thought I was going to live there indefinitely? I would never disrespect you that way. I planned to move after we made things official after the Nurse’s ball but then my Uncle interfered.” Trina squeals and Spencer picks her up, spinning her around in his arms. He loved seeing her so happy. “So, what do you say?”
“Yes!” Trina exclaims. “I’d love to go apartment hunting with you.”
Spencer smiles, kissing Trina again before setting her down on the ground. “I can’t wait to debate with you about which art pieces to hang up in the apartment.”
"Well, I don't want to brag but I've got quite the eye for art--"
"And I started appraising art at 8 so..."
Before they know it, the two had dozed off in each other's arms. They were so preoccupied with each other that Spencer didn't even remember to ask Trina about the text saying he could come by the apartments. At this point, it didn't matter. They loved each other and rest was history.
Later that night...
Joss returns to the dorms, quietly opening the door since the lights were out. The sight before her warms her heart. "Aww!" Joss gushes. Spencer and Trina were snuggled up in each other's arms. And upon closer look, it looked like Trina had completely different bed sheets...? Joss steps back out of the door, making sure to close the door very quietly, not wanting to wake them up. She smiled as she sent her mom a text that she'd be spending the night. Her work here was done.