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how come every step I take, you run four steps farther. (I'll never reach you.)

Summary:

Gary has set out on his journey through Kanto. Not to become a Pokémon master or even to become the greatest there's ever been. No. He set out on his journey to find his long-lost friend, Ash Ketchum. Who's been missing since Gary was five. Unfortunately, the boy is as slippery as ice, and every time Gary gets close to him, something happens, and Gary has to watch him drift farther and farther.

Tantalus. A Greek myth. He was punished for trying to serve his son as a feast to the gods. He was punished always to be hungry and thirsty, while standing in a pool of water with a just out-of-reach fruit tree.

You should read my fic, The Little Shadow before this one to understand whats going on.
part three to Ke Aka uuku.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Gary blinks awake as sunlight reaches his eyes. 
He pulls his head out from his desk, where he must have fallen asleep last night. 
What was he even doing so late last night? Gary squints down at the papers, it was diagrams on which starter Pokemon would be best to choose. 
But why was Gary doing that? 
Gary glances up, spotting a small picture of him and his childhood best friend Ash as they hug each other, grinning brightly. 
Gary feels his heart drop. 
He was supposed to leave Pallet Town today to go find Ash. 
Gary looks out the window, the sun already high in the sky. 
He was late. 
Gary scrambles up from his desk, barely having enough sense to switch out from his pajamas as he hurriedly goes over the papers from yesterday. 
He doesn't even know if the one he wants will be available. Thankfully, only three trainers leaving Pallet this year, including Gary. However, he still might not get the best Pokemon, even if Gramps said he would save one for Gary. 
Gary rushes out the door, not even grabbing his packed bag. He can grab it on the way out of town, but it may be too late for Gary to grab a Pokemon. 
Gary rushes down the street, his heart pounding in a way it hasn't for years before he makes it to the lab. It's a closer run than any other house, but Gary is preoccupied with getting a Pokemon. 
He slams the door open, panting as he stumbles into the lab he calls his second home. 
"Please tell me you saved a Pokemon for me, Gramps?" Gary pants and Professor Oak smiles, patting him on the head. 
"Of course." Gramps pulls out a pokeball and hands it to Gary. It has a small water insignia. 
"A squirtle?" Gary blinks. That was not the one he would have chosen, but it's also not the one he wanted last. He guesses he got a good deal. 
"Yes, I thought the two of you would get along great," Gramps says as he turns away, readying Gary's Pokedex. "You both act quite similar." 
"How?" Gary asks, clutching his pokeball close.
"You're both hardheaded." Gary falls over at his grandfather's Insult. 
"Thanks, gramps," Gary grumbles, but he shrinks his pokeball and rests it on his belt. 
"And here is your pokedex." Professor Oak says as he hands it to Gary. It's a pretty old model, but it works, so Gary won't complain. Gary shuts it and puts it in his pocket before looking at the window pointed towards Viridian City. "
I'm gonna find Ash," Gary says, determined. 
"I hope before that you'll plan on changing out of your pajamas." Professor Oak teases and Gary looks down to find he never changed out of his pajama bottoms. 
Gary blushes and resolves to change first. 


Gary huffs as he finally makes it to Viridian City. 
This is where Ash should be. 
After a day of being chased by wild Pokemon, accidentally angering a flock of spearow with his Squirtles water gun, and nearly being eaten by a Gyarados. Gary finally made it. And he can meet up with Ash again. 
"ID please!" Gary snaps out of his thoughts and looks up at the police officer. He was way too tired to be dealing with this. Gary grabs his Pokedex and flips it open, showing the officer his ID. 
"Oh, you're from Pallet town. You're the third person since yesterday to come from there." The officer chirps, and Gary just frowns tiredly. 
"Why are you checking IDs anyway?" Gary grumbles, and the officer points to the sign. The sign was a wanted poster with two people wearing a white uniform on it. Team Rocket was plastered in big, bold letters. 
"Those thieves tried to steal the pokecenter's sick Pokemon. Thankfully, a young trainer fought them off, but we don't want a repeat of the incident!" The officer says Gary spots her name card that says Officer Jenny. 
"This young trainer, did they happen to go by Ash?" Gary asks. It's a shot in the dark, and he could be totally wrong. But Gary needs to know if it is Ash. 
"Yes, Ash Kukui. And his Pokemon pikachu and mimikyu." Officer Jenny nods, and Gary finds his exhaustion floating off him as he becomes closer to his target. 
"I've been looking for Ash. Where is he?" Gary questions the officer. Jenny blinks. 
"Well, he must have left Viridian City midmorning yesterday. He was heading towards pewter city." She says, putting a finger on her cheek as she thinks. 
Gary deflates. Ash has an entire day's worth headstart. 
If he hadn't woken up late, he could've caught him before he left. 
Gary sighs, heading towards the slightly destroyed pokecenter as people around him talk about the pikachu who destroyed it. 
Gary has Nurse Joy heal up his Squirtle. He'll have a long walk ahead of him. 
Gary thinks back on what Officer Jenny said. A pikachu and a mimikyu. What's a mimikyu? 
Gary pulls out his Pokedex, typing in the Pokemon's name, only to find it was unidentified. It is an old model. 
Gary sits by the phone, dialing his grandfather's number. 
"Gary, what a surprise. I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon." Professor Oak says, and Gary rolls his eyes. He had taken an entire day to get to Viridian City. He's falling behind the other trainers. He's falling behind Ash. 
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Gary grumbles, if anything gramp's smile widens. 
It's nice to see Gary acting like the brat he used to be. Instead of the depressed teen, he had grown up to become. 
"Anyway, I need you to look up a Pokemon for me," Gary says, and Professor Oak hums. 
"The Pokedex not working?" Professor Oak asks, and Gary shakes his head. 
"The Pokedex doesn't have Pokemon from outside the region. I can't look up this Pokemon." Gary tiredly explains, and his grandfather shrugs. 
"Sure, what Pokemon do you want to look up," Gramps says as he shifts towards the computer. 
"Mimikyu." 
"Ah, an interesting Pokemon from the alola region." Gramps days, and Gary taps his foot impatiently. 
"It's a ghost fairy type. It's called the disguise Pokemon. It's said that anyone who looks at Mimikyu's true form dies instantly. So it dresses up like a pikachu to try and attempt to be as loved as one." Professor Oak hums, "it's a fascinating Pokemon." 
"Could you send the file to me, Gramps? I'd like to look at it myself." Gray asks, mulling over the information. 
Most people in Kanto don't even know about the fairy type. But since Gary grew up reading the studies produced around the regions, he's learned much more than the average trainer. And he's gonna use that advantage to catch up to Ash. Gary spends most of the night on a cramped pokecenter floor as he reads about mimikyu. He wants to know what Ash's Pokemon are. 
That's not entirely true. 
Gary wants to know about Ash. 
He wants to know who Ash grew into. Is he the same excitable kid with wild dreams and a determination twice as big? Maybe he grew more experienced and better at training. Perhaps he's the exact same as Gary remembers. 
But since he can't find Ash right now. He'll research his Pokemon. 
As soon as the sun rises the next day, Gary sets out towards Pewter City. With three days of traveling, he managed to make it. He healed up his Squirtle. He managed to catch quite a few Pokemon in his walk through Viridian forest. And to his annoyance, he met a young boy who demanded he battle Gary. He met Ash, too. Apparently, one of Ash's Pokemon got taken by a flock of beedrill and showed great courage and determination to get his metapod back. Samari, the kid, seemed to admire Ash despite their only brief meeting. It's a fitting name for a kid who wears samurai armor and carries around a sword. 
Unfortunately, most of the Pokemon in the forest were flying types or bug types. This means he would be relying on Squirtle for most of his battle with Pewter Gym. 
When Gary arrives, he finds the gym leader as he struggles to manage nine kids who look remarkably like him. 
"Uh, hello?" Gary calls, watching the man freeze. 
"Hello, challenger. I'm sorry for the state of the gym. The gym leader renounced his position yesterday. This is my first day back in a Gym in nearly five years, " the gym leader says, and Gary blinks. At least this will be an easy battle. 
"Why did the gym leader renounce his position?" Gary asks the curiosity catching up to him. 
"Ah, well, he always wanted to travel. He just couldn't until he met that boy." The gym leader shrugs, and Gary frowns. He has a hunch. 
"What boy?" 
"Uh, Ashton, Asher? Oh! Ash. Ash Kukui," Gary finds himself growling. He missed Ash again. 
"Whatever. Let's battle." Gary sighed. He defeated the gym with ease, and he set out for Cerulean City as soon as he could. 
He can't afford to lose more time. 
The trip to Cerulean city was quicker, but not fast enough as he finds the gym half destroyed and closed for rebuilding. Gary growls, arguing with the gym leader, one of them at least. 
"I need to battle as soon as possible," Gary demands, the blonde rolls her eyes. 
"In what gym? It's like, totally destroyed." She says, and Gary growls. He needs to catch up with Ash. 
"Why are you in such a hurry anyway. Like chill, the league isn't for months." The gym leader scoffs. 
"I'm not in a hurry for the league. I'm in a hurry to reunite with my long-lost friend." Gary snaps, and the girl blinks before rolling her eyes again. 
"Ash Kukui, he should have traveled through your gym at some point." Gary grunts and the gym leader's eyes flash with recognition. 
"Is that him?" She asks, pointing to a nearby newspaper. 
Gary grabs the paper, quickly skimming over the front page. 
"Pokémon trainer Ash Kukui successfully wards off Team Rocket's plan to steal Cerulean gyms Pokemon."
 Gary looks at the picture. It was a boy and a girl talking with each other. Gary instantly recognizes the boy. 
That's Ash Ketchum. Although Gary supposes he should get used to the name kukui. He looks so much different but also the exact same. He's got much curler hair now. Gary knows Ms. Delia used to straighten his hair out every day. It's strange to see his hair as curly as the day he was born. He's wearing the tackiest neon orange Hawaiian shirt, but somehow it fits Ash perfectly. He's got a pikachu and a mimikyu on his shoulder. 
Gary concludes that the rumors were true, and he did have a pikachu that blew up a Pokemon center and a mimikyu from the alola region. But he also looks the exact same. The same friendly smile. The same wide, curious, beautiful brown eyes you could spend hours exploring. The same weird squiggly lines under his eyes that Gary spent months trying to figure out if were real or if Ash simply drew them on each day to mess with Gary. Gary ended up only believing they were real when he grabbed a wipe and tried to wipe it off himself. 

He still remembers Ash's laughter and squished face as Gary roughly tried to prove the lines were drawn on. 
Gary draws his shoulders up. Now he's got a face to the name and fuzzy memory. Now he knows exactly who he's looking for. 
"That's him," Gary confirms, and the gym leader smiles. 
"My little sis is traveling with him. She totes has a crush on him." The gym leader jokes. 
Gary doesn't know why his stomach is churning at the thought of someone else traveling with Ash. It's not like he doesn't know another former gym leader is traveling with him. Gary can't help but feel a little jealous that those people barely even know Ash, but they get to travel with him. Gary wants to travel with Ash. Gary wants to watch Ash grow and learn. Gary wants to push Ash to be better. Gary wants to do the things he promised he would do with Ash at five. 
"But yeah, he came through here a few days ago and saved the gym from being totally destroyed. He's heading to Vermillion City now." The girl says, putting a hand on her hip, "We still can't let you battle though." 
"Ugh!" Gary groans, "I won't meet up with him until the league at this rate!" 
"I just wanna see my best friend again," Gary mumbles and the girl softens. 
She claps her hands, a seel emerging from the pool. The seel sticks out its tongue, revealing a badge. 
"Go and find your friend." The gym leader says Gary thinks her name might be Daisy. 
"But I thought you had to battle-?" Gary starts to ask, only to be cut off. 
"Nah, we're in no shape to battle. And even then, we just got totally destroyed this week by three other trainers. So take the badge and go." Daisy says, and Gary finds himself smiling. 
He grabs the badge and runs off, waving a thank you. 
Vermillion City is much farther away, and Gary catches a Nidoran female and a Nidoran male to battle lt. Surge's Raichu. He evolves them into a nidoqueen and a nidoking, respectively. 
It's a tough gym, Gary has heard. But a ground type should negate most damage. 
Gary makes a pit stop by a small town. He needs some supplies. 
He used the last of his super potion on his beedrill battling the nidoran female. 
He's about to walk in the door when it suddenly slams open, hitting Gary square in the face. 
Gary feels dizzy from the hit, and he looks at the person who ran out. From the back with his neon orange Hawaiian shirt, Gary thinks it might be Ash. 
Gary collapses from the hit before he can call out to him. 
Gary is unbelievably annoyed when he wakes up a day later, finding out Ash was the one to hit him with a door. And to find that Ash had already left the village with his new Squirtle. 
He was so close. But Gary just missed him. 
Gary finds his eye twitching. He's getting so sick of these near misses. 
When Gary gets to Vermillion City, prepared to find Ash. He finds that he has already left that morning. 
Gary drops his head into his hands as he screams. Maybe this is the world's twisted, sick way of punishing Gary for taking Ash for granted as a kid. But this is getting too much. He's starting to feel like Sisyphus. 
Gary heads to the gym anyway, armed with two ground types and a rock type, along with his trusted starter. 
As Gary heads to the gym, he hears talks about the kid with the pikachu, about how he defeated LT Surge by using thunderbolts as platforms and using double team and quick attack to confuse the Raichu until it ran out of electricity. 
It's a clever tactic, definitely out of the box and stretching every move to its limit. Gary didn't even know you could have electric Pokemon run on their own attacks. 
But Gary thinks the smarter thing to do would be to get a ground-type Pokemon. Like he did. 
Or he thought so until he was swiftly defeated by lt. Surge's Raichu. 
"Sorry baby! If all it took was a weak little ground-type Pokemon, I wouldn't be a Gym leader!" Lt Surge shouts, and Gary growls, storming out to train. 
His Squirtle evolves into a wartortle, and his nidoqueen and Nidoking become a lot stronger before he challenges the gym. 
This time, they got a narrow win against LT. Surge. Then he was off. 
Gary doesn't know which city Ash went to next, so he heads to Caledon City. 
As he passes a harbor filled with many luxury cruise ships, two people approach him. 
"Hi! You totally look like a super cool trainer!" One of the girls says, the one with orange hair. 
"Coooool!" The blonde says. 
Gary smirks. "Obviously," Gary says, and he had gotten so good at not feeding into his ego. 
"And totally super cool trainers like you obviously deserve a super relaxing luxury cruise." The orange-haired lady holds out a ticket. To the ST Anne. 
"Coooool!" The blonde says again. 
"Thanks, but I can't afford it," Gary says as he steps back and walks around them. 
"Oh, but you totally don't get it! We're giving you this totally free, totally awesome trip on the ST Anne! Did I mention it was totally free?" The lady with the orange hair steps in Gary's way again. 
"Coooool!" The blonde says again. Gary is starting to think that's all she knows what to say. 
"Really? Thanks!" Gary says as he snatches the ticket and runs off before they could change their minds. 
He runs up the dock of the St Anne and boards the large boat filled with trainers like Gary. 
Gary has a fun time, between shopping, trading his beedrill for a venonat, and eating the first real food he's had since he left pallet town. He was having a great time. 
There were a few times he spotted a neon orange shirt in the crowd, but there were so many trainers Gary couldn't tell if it was Ash or not. Gary was shopping when, all of a sudden, all of the lights shut out on the boat. 
"To protect the world from devastation!" A lady shouts as she stands next to a very downtrodden man. 
"To unite all people within our nation." He sighs. 
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" The lady says. Gary thinks those are the people on the wanted poster back at Viridian City. Those were the people who destroyed the Cerulean gym. 
"To extend our reach to the stars above." The man sighs again. He doesn't seem to put his heart into this. 
"Jessie!" The woman says that the woman must be named Jessie. 
"James." The man says. 
"Team rocket blast off at the speed of light!" Jessie yells, and Gary feels his pulse quickening. 
He's not letting them take his Pokemon. 
Grunts start swarming them when Gary spots a large electric shock and a large shadow ball fling a man away. 
"If they're gonna try and take our Pokemon, we might as well make it a battle! Let's fight back!" Gary hears someone shout.
 He looks over to see Ash being the one to encourage everyone to fight. 
Gary feels his breath ripped away from him as he sees Ash's determined eyes again. 
Sees his best friend pumped and ready to fight. 
Sees his best friend just a few meters away. 
"Ash?" Gary gasps, but he has other things he needed to do. He joined the fight, battling his wartortle, occasionally spotting Ash shout out orders to his Pokemon. 
Gary focuses on his own battle, moved by Ash's words and fighting as hard as he can to save his Pokemon. They blast the team rocket high into the air, and Gary immediately looks for Ash, only to find him running out of the main hall. Gary tries to run after him, only for the boat to shift, causing everyone to fall over. 
Gary looks out the window to see the ship starting to sink. He runs onto a lifeboat, and that was the last time Gary saw Ash for weeks. 
Gary thought he was dead, but he didn't end up on the lifeboats. 
Gary didn't hear anything about Ash until he went to Saffron City after beating Erika's gym. 
Ash had apparently stopped the gym leader's rampage by bringing a haunter. 
Gary just barely beats Sabrina, and only because her haunter kept making her laugh and distracting her. 
But Gary leaves that gym much prouder than he should. 
Because Ash is alive. 
Ash is alive, and Gary still has a chance to find him. 
And Gary does eventually find him. 
At the league. 
Gary's breath is stolen from him again as he stares at the back of Ash's head. 
He's wanted this for so long. Why is he hesitating? 
Gary takes a deep breath. He's not letting Ash get away from him this time. 
"Ashy-boy?" Gary says, the childish nickname rolling off his tongue in a way it hasn't in years. 
Gary watches with bated breath as Ash turns away from his friends, blinking at Gary as he turns. 
Ash blinks, recognition flooding his eyes as he takes a second to stare at Gary. 
"Gary! It's been a long time." Ash says with a smile. 
Gary could almost melt at the smile. He was scared Ash might not recognize him. He was scared Ash might not care about him anymore.
"Yeah, yeah, it has been."

Notes:

I feel like depending on how Ash was raised, he would have a different style of battling. Because in canon, he was raised in Pallet Town, with probably limited interaction with Pokemon. Therefore, he didn't learn much about it. So when he went out on his own and would get into tricky situations and didn't know how to get himself out, he learned to adapt, to trust his gut and instinct during a battle. To think outside the box and basically, "pikachu, use Thunderbolt! Oh, not effective? Well, I'm out of ideas. Let's try this unorthodox strategy instead."
But if he was raised by Professor Kukui, he would constantly be around Pokemon and would be raised by a Pokemon professor. So he would learn all about Pokemon moves and different effects. So, he would be a little more competent at the start. But because Ash is a much more out-of-the-box thinker than Professor Kukui, Ash would test every moves limit. See how far he could twist the definition of a move. So, he would be much more focused on getting the most out of every move he tries.
Or if Ash was raised with, like, an expert battler, let's say, lt surge to make a point. He would be much more headstrong. By being raised by LT Surge, he learns that you should play to your Pokemon strengths. But I think Ash takes that differently than what LT Surge does. Because LT Surge thinks playing to a Pokemon strength is growing on what they're born to do. Electric types are better at electric moves. Just like the ice type is better at ice moves. But I think Ash would take that to switch up his battling style, depending on the Pokemon. I'm big on the idea that depending on the region, there's a general style of battling most people will learn and use. Like in Kanto, it's playing to a pokemons strength and gets the battle over with quickly and brutally because of Kanto's cutthroat nature and fast-paced ness. But, in Sinnoh or Hoenn, it would be more about showing off what your Pokemon can go. In big grand gestures because of their showcases. So Ash would learn different battling styles throughout his journey, and by doing that with different Pokemon, he would figure out what style of battling suits them best and would play to that. So, a Pokemon like Charizard would do better in a Kanto battling style. In contrast, a Pokemon like oshawatt would do better in a more Sinnoh/Hoenn style due to its liking to show off. Pikachu would mostly be a mixed bag, with Ash switching styles on a dime with pikachu due to the fact Pikachu has been through all the regions with Ash and was the testing ground for many of Ash's strategies.
In this essay, I will-

But in no seriousness, Ash would definitely start wearing the tackiest Hawaiian shirts he can find just because he knows they annoy Professor Kukui. And when Professor Kukui pokes fun at him for it, Ash just says he'll stop wearing them when Professor Kukui wears a shirt. Ash steals all of the Hawaiian shirts from Hau's eyesore of a closet. Hau doesn't even notice that half of his shirts are switched out for Ash's. And when Professor Kukui finally wears a shirt on his wedding day to Professor Burnet, Ash makes a big deal about giving up his Hawaiian shirts and gives them back to Hau. The day after Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet get married, it's like a divorce scene where Ash and Hau try and figure out which is whos. They start making jokes about separating the kids.