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Amid another bout of retching, Roman gags aggressively into the toilet, and his eyes well with tears, however none fall.
Roman feels as if his entire chest is somehow in the pit of his stomach and honestly, he finds some sort of sick comfort in the feeling, he might actually be more pathetic than everyone thought, ha! Wouldn’t that be something?
“Jesus, Rome.”
Roman had forgotten to close the door.
He didn’t turn around but he already knew it was Shiv, she was the only girl in the house at the moment. He could hear the clear displeasure in her voice.
“Oh don’t fucking-, fuck you!” There was no real bite, it hardly even seemed like it was directed at anyone. Rome felt like digging a hole into the ground and dying in it, He didn’t know if Shiv was going to force him to talk, or if she’d just laugh to herself and keep walking, but whatever she did he knows this’ll probably be used against him for the next 25 years.
Roman felt physically ill enough to vomit again, even though he knew there was no way it would be anything but a painful bitter gag. His mind falters, he isn’t in control right now, and that’s clear to both of them right now. Despite the frantic attempts to snap him out of his trance, he remains unable to regain control.
Roman always gets weird when things get to be too much, but this felt shameful, wrong, disgusting. Or maybe he felt that? He wasn't sure.
Roman gags again, the violent coughs wracking his body. Shiv, without a word, walks in and perches on the edge of the tub, her expression a mix of concern and frustration.
As his coughs died down Shiv decided to break the silence.
“You know in high school I knew a girl with bulimia she was a fuckin-,”
Roman rolled his eyes so hard he thought he was going to get whiplash. “Can you stop- fuck, I’m not bulimic.”
“Yeah okay , man, I caught you gagging on your fingers like they were a dick, but yeah sure it was for a completely different reason, hey maybe your gayer than we all thought!” Shiv scoffed.
“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that right?,”
“Takes one to know one dickface,”
And even though Shiv can’t see her brother’s face, she can feel the stupid sarcastic smile he’s definitely doing right now. Fucking predictable asshole.
Shiv wasn’t sure where to focus her eyes, she didn’t want to look at her brother, worried she might bring herself to give too much of a fuck, so she settled on the carpet below her feet.
"So Rome, what’s up, you thinking of walking a pageant or something?”
Roman audibly groaned, clearly annoyed at his sister’s antics and also mortified he even got caught in the first place.
“Shiv, Please,”
Well now she has to continue, “ I don’t know you might be good at it, you’d have to suck a lot of dick though, and well, I’m not sure you have the gag reflex for that.”
“Oh go fuck yourself, leave me the hell alone, go fuck with someone else, anyone, please.
“You’d think someone who just got caught the way you just did would be so much nicer, maybe I'll have to tell Dad.” Shiv smirked.
“Oh yeah, because he’d stop working for something as small as this.” Roman deadpanned.
“We’ll find out I guess”
Roman, irritated, retorts, "Oh, come on, Even if he did talk to you, which he won’t, you wouldn’t say shit, you may lack basic human decency but not even you’re that much of a bitch.”
"Yeah okay, whatever,” Shiv watches as Roman gets up and flushes the toilet, with a mix of concern and irritation. “You really need to get a grip, Rome," Shiv scoffs, her tone laced with frustration.
Roman, catching his breath, manages a weak chuckle. "Oh no shit, maybe I should do what you do and fucking play the pretend to have it all together game because that’s so much better,"
“Oh Please, no one would believe you had it all together, Rome.”
“No one believes you do either,”
Shiv rolls her eyes but fails to verbally respond, giving Roman a moment to stand up. He grasps his toothbrush, eager to conclude this ordeal and bury it deep within his memories. Avoiding his reflection, he squeezes toothpaste onto the bristles, the scent of mint filling his nose. The flavor feels strange, a sensation he oddly doesn't hate. It was deafeningly quiet,
Shiv wasn’t saying anything, Roman was worried he might’ve shut her up for good.
Now that he thinks about it that was a stupid thought.
Shiv’s breathe hitches deeply, “So is this something you do often or-”
Roman spits into the sink, “Yeah so this? Not happening, You’re not gonna trick me into talking so,” He stops to rinse out his mouth, “I guess fuck off?“
“Oh, come on Rome, let’s be serious for once in our fucking lives,” “I don’t understand why this has to be such a big deal, it isn’t like this is a foreign concept for any of us,”
Shiv feels herself begin to lose her cool, Roman was so hard to be nice to. “I don’t know, I guess we all grew out of it,” Shiv laughs humorlessly, She is beginning to wish she hadn’t ever opened that door.
“Right because I’m the only fuck up and you and Ken are perfectly normal and definitely didn’t just find different ways to kill yourselves” Roman was facing Shiv now, his back hurt and he wanted to take a nap.
“Oh like what?” Shiv regretted that the second it left her mouth.
“Please, you’re practically torturing yourself with your countless giant cock having whiny boyfriends and Ken? Well, he’s probably passed out with a dirty bong in his hand right now,” Roman took a deep, dramatic, breath. “shall I go on?” Roman offered
“You shalln’t” Shiv felt like she still needed to fire back” “Also don’t fucking act like you wouldn’t fuck any of my boyfriends if they’d let you,” Shiv shot back.
“Who’s to say I haven’t fucked any of your boyfriends?” Roman jokes, “I bet I could get him to fuck me in front of you.”
Shiv grimaced slightly at the thought.
“I’d genuinely like to see you try,” Shiv snickered,
Roman grinned at Shiv, “Is Shivvy trying to give me permission to seduce her boyfriend?” He said in a heinous mock British accent.
“God no, you’re fucking annoying he might fuck you just to get you to shut up,”
“That would still be a win, though,” Roman was smiling so cockily, Shiv had to roll her eyes. There was no point in this argument.
Shiv’s expression softened, her brother really was a fucking mess. “Rome just, shit, be careful, I don’t want you to end up in the hospital and all over the internet as thinspo again,”
“You know it sucks that I missed that the first time, PR wiped out any online proof of it before I got out, but yeah, thanks I guess.”
Shiv offered him a small smile “So… You wanna go to tea later?”
“Not really, the herbs have too many calories,” Roman jokes, and unfortunately, Shiv doesn’t see it as that and looks slightly annoyed, “Oh my god I was kidding, Yeah sure fine whatever,” He stops for a second and scratches his head, “Let’s go make mummy proud and go to tea,” He says this with a British accent,
Shiv doesn’t know how she feels about how this ordeal ended but she really doesn’t want to reopen the previous conversation.