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When he entered the local bar he frequently went to he didn’t expect his plans for the night to be turned upside down.
Sitting in Buggy’s usual spot. There he was. Red hair and three scars to match.
What the fuck was he doing here?!
Buggy considered turning around and leaving. Maybe Shanks hadn’t seen him yet. Maybe he could avoid this. The dreaded reunion of so many years without seeing each other.
“Buggy!” Shanks screamed, put down his drink, got up, and ran toward him. Almost falling down in the process.
Fuck. It was too late to avoid this now. And for the looks of it, Shanks had been drinking before Buggy got here. It was more common to find Shanks drunk than sober. Well, not that they really saw each other that many times in the past couple of years for him to know that. But it hadn’t seemed like Shanks had changed all that much. Still annoyingly gorgeous and able to change the course of Buggy’s life in a single appearance.
God, he hated how useless Shanks made him feel. He preferred when all he had was the memories constantly haunting every single hour of his day. Memories and dreams of what could’ve been if things hadn’t turned out the way they did. But it was too late to have regrets now. They both had made their choices and Buggy was fine to live with that. Yeah. Definitely fine.
It’s not like he had never wondered about what Shanks was doing. It’s not like he had never wondered what he would say if he ever saw him again. “What are you up to? ‘Cuz everything is boring without you by my side. ” “Are you doing okay? ‘Cuz I’ve been so lonely. ” “Did you miss me like I did? ‘Cuz I miss you every day. ” “Is your life better without me in it? ‘Cuz I can’t imagine my life without you. ”
But there was no way he would ever ask and say any of these things. Buggy’s unwavering pride and stubbornness would never allow it.
Buggy swallowed, nervous.
“What are you doing here, Shanks?” He tried to not let it show how much damage it did to his heart just seeing him.
“Buggy! It’s so good to see you!” Shanks said and embraced him in a tight hug.
Buggy felt like his heart would burst out of his chest. Why was this happening? He had been so careful. He had made it so clear that he didn’t want to see Shanks again. Not because he didn’t want to. Because, fuck , he wanted it so bad. But because he couldn’t stand the way Shanks messed him up just by existing near him.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Shanks whispered in his ear and nuzzled his nose in the crook of Buggy’s neck. Buggy felt like his legs would give in at any moment and he would melt right into the arms of the man holding him.
“You’re drunk,” was all Buggy managed to say. He couldn’t take this seriously. It was all just drunk talk like always. Besides, it didn’t matter if Shanks missed him or not because all that mattered was that he needed to stay away from him. He couldn’t stand the overwhelming love he felt for him.
“Am not!” Shanks said lifting his head to look him in the eye.
“You so are. You can’t fool me anymore,” Buggy said, bitter.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because it’s still true. I have really missed you, you know?” Shanks admitted.
Buggy bit his lip. No! He couldn’t let him do this to him. He had to keep his boundaries. He had promised to himself that he wouldn’t give in to temptation. No matter how much he wanted it. It was better this way. Definitely.
“Well, I haven’t missed you at all,” he lied through his teeth.
“Oh,” was all Shanks replied, finally letting go of Buggy and he… he sounded so hurt.
Buggy almost regretted being so mean. But he had to push Shanks away no matter what. It was for the best, he kept repeating in his head like a mantra.
Buggy sighed deeply.
“One drink,” he said giving in.
“What?”
“One drink with me, that’s all you get. Okay?”
God, he was going to regret it later, wasn’t he? But Shanks grinned so happily at him that he almost forgot all about the dark road this could lead to.
“Okay!”
Both of them sat down where Shanks had been previously and ordered another round.
Buggy rested his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand.
“So… how did you find me?”
“I have my ways,” Shanks replied smugly.
Why didn’t you come sooner then? Buggy thought but didn’t say it out loud.
“Sure,” he said rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his beer that had just arrived.
“How have you been?”
“Fine.” Not fine at all.
“What have you been up to?”
“Nothing.” Thinking about you.
“Not much up for conversation, are you?” Shanks chuckled a little disappointed.
“I said we could drink. Not that I would talk,” he said standing his ground.
“Fine,” Shanks sighed and took a small sip of his beer.
“Never thought I’d see you drinking that slow,” Buggy said raising an eyebrow.
“I mean… if all I get is one drink might as well make it last as much as possible, right?” He admitted shyly.
Buggy felt his body catch on fire at Shanks’ honesty. Fuck. He couldn’t let it show. He decided it was best to hide his blush by taking another sip.
But as time passed one drink led to another and another and Buggy couldn’t bring himself to deny Shanks of all the time he wanted with him
The bad thing about when Shanks drank too much was that he could get really flirty and clingy. Buggy almost couldn’t take it anymore. The way Shanks’ praises rolled out of his tongue so easily. How his hands would casually touch Buggy’s arms and legs. Fuck. He had to get out of there but Shanks had such a grip on him that it made it way too hard to refuse him.
“Okay. It’s been too many already. I’m going home and you should too,” he said standing up, mustering all his will
“One more. Just one more. It’s the last one. I promise!” There had been too many last ones already.
“No. I said I’m done.”
“Pleaaase, Buggy!” Shanks begged grabbing Buggy’s hand.
“Shanks… I can’t.”
“Of course you can. Just… just stay here with me.”
“I mean I can’t do this,” he said, letting go of Shanks’ hand and pointing at the two of them.
“But… I just-,” and with no previous warning Shanks threw up on the both of them.
“What the fuck, Shanks?!” Buggy said backing away.
“Sorry. I guess I just drank too much,” he said wiping his mouth.
“I noticed! Fuck!”
Buggy kept complaining but as he glanced at Shanks he looked like a lost puppy who had just been kicked and Buggy’s heart couldn't take it.
“Come on,” Buggy growled and extended his hand for Shanks to take it.
“What?” He asked confused.
“Come on. We’re going home.”
“Really?!” Shanks had never sounded so eager.
“Yeah. I need a new change of clothes and so do you. Let’s go,” he said grabbing Shanks’ hand and pulling him up.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! He wasn’t supposed to do that. What was he thinking? Bringing Shanks into his home? There was no way this would end well. But part of him was so filled with joy he could barely contain himself.
Shanks was here.
With him.
“Here,” Buggy said giving Shanks some of his clothes, and as soon as he did Shanks began to undress. Right. There. In front of him.
Nope. Can’t do this. Buggy thought to himself and grabbed his own clothes and ran to the bathroom, locking himself in it.
He sat down on the floor with his back pressed to the door. He hugged his legs and pressed his head on his knees.
It’s fine. It’s fine.
God, it was not fine. Not at all.
Buggy breathed in and out deeply for a few seconds before mustering the courage to get up, take a bath, and get dressed. Okay. He could do this. Nothing was going to happen.
Nothing could happen.
Ever.
He opened the door and left the bathroom. And if he saw Shanks' nose pressed to the collar of the shirt, smelling it, taking in Buggy’s scent, he pretended that he didn't.
Wait.
What was Shanks doing on his bed?!
"Buggyyyy, come lay down with me!" He pleaded with gleaming eyes.
"What?! No way, you stink of booze and puke!" Definitely, that was the only reason.
"Pleaseee, for old time's sake?" Shanks whined, making Buggy instantly blush.
"I have no memory of ever doing that," he lied.
"Pretty please? I won't bother you anymore. Promise." Shanks begged pouting.
"Urgh, fine! You win! Scootch!" He said climbing up the bed and laying down next to Shanks, who lost no time wrapping his arms around Buggy.
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
"Hmm yes, that's better," Shanks muttered as he pressed his cheek against Buggy's shoulder.
Buggy suddenly felt wide awake. There was no way he could sleep like this. His heart was beating so loud, he felt like his head was about to explode.
His body was so stiff but as time passed he managed to relax and give in to a little self-indulgence if he was being honest. He looked to the side and assumed Shanks was already sleeping. His hand twitched with an urge to touch him. Slowly and carefully, he reached out for Shanks' head and softly ran his hand through his hair. The way he used to do so so long ago. It almost felt like they were back to how they were when they were younger, snuggling without a care in the world.
As usual, Buggy woke up before Shanks did. He tried his best to unwrap himself from Shanks’ embrace and get out of bed without waking him up. Which wasn’t all that difficult because Shanks slept like a rock. Especially after drinking that much.
When Buggy was almost done cooking them breakfast Shanks rose up from the bed with a yawn.
“Something smells good.”
“I’m making breakfast.”
“You’re… making me breakfast?” Shanks’ eyes were shining with excitement.
Buggy just rolled his eyes
Shanks sat down by the table and Buggy placed a plate in front of him. He stared down at the scrabbled eggs laid in front of him. Was that what he thought it was? Those small little black dots…
“Buggy,” he said giving Buggy a doubtful glare. “Did you put pepper in this?”
“Of course I haven’t,” he replied scoffing.
“‘Because I cannot eat pepper. You know that, right?” He said still not trusting Buggy.
“Yes, Shanks,” he sighed. “Sadly I know all about your annoying habits.”
“But it definitely looks like pepper.”
“I can promise you that it isn’t.”
“Fine,” Shanks said and took a bite of the food, trusting Buggy in doing so. And as soon as he did his mouth started to ache.
“It has pepper in it you rascal! Fuck you!” Shanks screamed angrily.
“That’s what betrayal feels like,” Buggy replied bitterly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Shanks asked annoyed.
“Whatever,” Buggy muttered as he placed another place in front of Shanks. This time one that did not have any pepper in it.
They slowly ate in silence until they were both done. Both of them wanted this to last for as long as it could. Neither was ready to say goodbye.
But all good things must come to an end at some point, right?
Nothing lasts forever.
Which was Buggy’s biggest fear. He denied himself of Shanks’ presence because pushing him away hurt less than having Shanks leave him one day.
Still, he was so tired of coming home to an empty bed. He was so tired of sleepless nights thinking about Shanks and his whereabouts. So tired of feeling so lonely and sorry for himself. God, he was so pathetic. Wasting his time obsessing over someone who probably didn’t give him a second thought.
After all these years he kept craving something that he wouldn’t allow himself to have. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t seem to control his mind, no matter what he tried. Eventually, all thoughts led to one very specific redhead. Shanks lived in his memory all the time.
One of them would have to take the first step. Buggy decided he was the one who was going to carry this burden, so he got up and took both their plates to the sink.
Shanks got up a little after to grab his stuff. When he finished gathering everything he walked towards the door and Buggy followed him along. Neither saying a word.
Shanks bit his lip and finally spoke up.
“Okay so, I guess that’s it. I’m leaving now,” Shanks said almost in a whisper but did not move at all.
They stayed like that for a good few minutes without any of them moving. It was obvious what was happening. Neither of them wanted that to end. To leave and to be left alone.
Buggy’s mind was racing so fast. Shanks was gonna leave. At any time now. He was going to be gone, for god knows how long. Buggy almost couldn’t take it anymore. Was losing Shanks really worth it? Couldn’t they work this out somehow? Couldn’t Buggy learn how to live with his feelings overflowing with how much love he had for Shanks?
Shanks finally turned away from Buggy and grabbed the doorknob to leave for good but was stopped by Buggy who, without thinking, had reached out and grabbed Shanks by the end of his sleeve.
“Wait.” What was he doing? He shouldn’t be doing this. But… everything in him screamed that he wanted Shanks to stay. Forever . “Stay. Please,” he muttered embarrassed.
Shanks looked like he was about to shed tears of joy. He took no time in turning to Buggy and wrapping him in his arms and dropping his head on his shoulders.
“Thank you,” he said as he pressed a kiss on Buggy’s neck, sending shivers through his entire body. “Thank you, thank you,” he kept saying as he pressed even more kisses all over Buggy’s neck, making his way to his face as well.
Buggy was about to lose his mind. He could barely breathe. Shanks was just so intoxicating.
Shanks unwrapped himself from Buggy and grabbed his face with both hands. He was about to close the gap between them when he stopped and asked.
“Can I?” He whispered with their lips almost brushing.
Buggy couldn’t bring himself to say anything so he just quickly nodded. And with that Shanks finally closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to Buggy’s.
God, how he had missed it. It had been way too long already. But this was the first time they were both sober. Shanks had the habit of wanting to kiss Buggy whenever they drank when they were teens. Buggy could never bring himself to refuse. He kept telling himself it was just the booze. It didn’t have to mean anything. It probably didn’t mean anything to Shanks anyway.
But now… it was so much different. He could tell how much it meant. To both of them.
It was not enough. He needed more. He spent too many years yearning for this, he couldn’t bring himself to stop now. So he brought one of his hands to Shanks’ neck and one to his back, pressed forward and slipped his tongue in Shanks’ mouth who was more than happy to reciprocate de gesture with much enthusiasm.
After a long time, they both pulled away gasping for air.
“Well, that sure was nice,” Shanks said grinning from ear to ear.
God, Buggy loved him so much. He felt like his heart was finally full. It was all just too much. But maybe it was time. Maybe it was time he was honest about his feelings. Maybe it was time to finally allow his walls to come down and take the chance to be happy even if it could end up hurting him. Maybe he could learn to be vulnerable. Maybe it was time he trusted Shanks with his heart.
Buggy rested his head on Shanks’ shoulder and wrapped his arms around him.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he finally admitted.
“I thought you said you hadn’t,” Shanks teased.
“Shut up,” Buggy growled embarrassed.
“It’s okay,” Shanks said pulling away. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said as he pressed another kiss on Buggy’s lips.