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Although it was the middle of the day, Ziva was physically and emotionally drained. Gibbs had announced an early release from the tiresome week and Tony and McGee bolted out of the building like lightning.
The remaining agent was eagerly packing up her belongings after she did a final check of her finished reports and signed documents when suddenly, she heard and recognized a familiar set of footsteps that puzzled her for their existence.
"Ziva!" A rough furious voice was heard that made the trained assassin jump at the sound of the unexpected noise, dropping her pen on her desk.
She turned to see an angry face appear walking towards her desk, dark eyes glaring at her - it was her father. She had been avoiding- ignoring his calls and had cut him off from her life when she had left Isreal and realized that her father was not a good person, he was not a good father period.
"Aba." She said subconsciously when she realized who it was. No... She did not want to talk to him, in fact, they hadn't talked since... forever. The only time they had communicated was when he emailed her to read her into Mossad operations.
If you asked Ziva what did Eli David do that was so bad that she would cut him out of her life. She wouldn't remember, that part of her memories were blocked out by her brain. But that doesn't mean that she doesn't remember the terrifying feeling of swaying on a tightrope and wondering when it would be her fault again as he yelled at her for being insufficient.
At that moment, the senior lead agent walked in with yet another cup of coffee in his hand noticing that Eli David was in the office. "Why have you not been taking my calls?" The deputy director of Mossad's angry voice rang out in the empty bullpen.
She barely even talked to him before except to take orders from him, and now he wanted to talk like everything was normal? She had an uneasy feeling in her stomach of impending doom.
"I have been busy." The trained assassin answered quietly under her breath. The dread of being yelled at was starting to build back up from her childhood slowly.
Gibbs quietly noted that his Ziva was standing in a protective stance like she was waiting for a blow that was undoubtedly coming soon and decided to stay and observe their interaction.
"That is no excuse," Eli argued, starting to yell. "this is the way you treat your father?!" She slowly backed away from him against the cabinet, arms wrapped around her own torso as she winced at his low dangerous voice.
"I am sorry aba." Her voice trying so hard not to break as she tried hard to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. She was getting scared like a little kid again. Thank God Tony wasn't here to see this scene to make things worse.
"Such ungrateful daughter." He spat with venom in his voice as he stared her down with fire in his eyes. He then continued to throw a whole slew of swear words at her face in Hebrew. I feel powerless. I am powerless. He has control. She realized would forever be under his control, controlled by the fear held against her.
As a child, she had tried so hard not to be hurt and that was not even supposed to be her job, her job was supposed to be a kid and be ignorant of all the terrors of the world. But instead, she got terrors from her own home and was traumatized. From a young age, she learned that whoever is the meanest is always right and takes control.
"You useless piece of shit." His voice boomed. "You look like a pig. You are not allowed to cry." Fear crept up her spine, bone-chilling as tears threatened to spill down her face.
She was terrorized and there was no going back, she couldn't just go back and forget what he did to her as a child. And she was barely dodging out of the way by a minuscule of a second from his ruthless attacks.
"Did you want something aba?" She said in a small quiet voice barely above a whisper as curled up into herself. What was so important that he had to fly down to DC and leave his protection detail at the front entrance? More importantly, what did he not want his guards to overhear or see?
"I fly down here to see you and you do not even welcome your father." Eli scoffed. "I just wanted to talk to you, is that too much for you?" He picked a pen from her penholder and looked at it with disgust.
"No." She replied in fear. She can't do this anymore, she can't take the yelling anymore. "I am going to use the washroom now if you do not mind." She had to leave before she burst into tears in front of her father and he was going to yell some more.
"Do not avoid me Ziva!" Eli slammed the pen down as he yelled after her while she quickly scrambled off into the washroom, passing Gibbs who had seen the entire interaction on the way there.
'Actions speak louder than words.' No. This time it does not. Abuse is Abuse and there is no excuse for it. And all that fear should say something words cannot describe.
The screaming, the name-calling, the threats, the yelling, if that doesn't tell you that there is a problem, I don't know what will.
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She tried so hard to keep the tears in until she put a wall between them and the dam was breaking and the gates flooding, she really tried so hard but tears still threatened to pour down her face.
She was terrified, shaking furiously, arms around herself as she cried quietly, ever so silently, so he wouldn't scream at her some more, she had to keep quiet to keep him from hurting her.
Then in a few seconds, a knock, the door was pushed open, and in came Gibbs. She flinched hard, her heart jumped out of her chest, her trauma responses were already triggered, her hypervigilance kicked in hard and she started crying again. Damn it! She forgot to lock the door.
Gibbs was her father figure, her safe person, she should not be scared of him, but still, she flinched painfully at him. This wasn't supposed to happen, she was supposed to be the strong one, not hiding in the washroom terrified like a little kid. Her heartbeat was racing and it wouldn't come down as new tears sprang forward from the fear.
When she somewhat returned to her senses, Gibbs was standing across from her with a concerned look on his face and she registered his voice so tenderly saying the nickname he gave her, "Ziver." Gibbs saw her crying. I'm crying in front of Gibbs.
Her subconscious response was to hide. But there was nowhere to hide. She slid down the closest wall as if to hide and protect herself from more yelling and hurt, curling up into a ball as the wall shielded her backside.
She was in the washroom, crying like a baby. Her father was the only one who could make her cry like this. She had no control over her tears or herself, she was physically shaking, rocking herself back and forth in an attempt to soothe herself.
In a flash, Gibbs had rushed to her side after locking the door. He had her in his arms gently caressing her face, wiping the tears away as his other hand stroked her hair softly. But Ziva was crying nonstop, crying in Gibbs' arms, the tears were not ceasing.
"Ziver, it's okay it's just me." He was now on the floor with her, whispering into her ear to let her know that she was safe but not knowing if she heard him or not. He had never seen Ziva so badly shaken up, she looked so scared, she was barely functioning.
She was feeling scared that Gibbs was going to be mad at her too. There was no explanation, it was just irrational fear from the childhood trauma. And the trauma responses kicked in even more than usual, the people pleasing, the minimizing emotions...
He tried to bring her back to reality but her eyes were glazed over and her responses were slow like he was not processing his words. "What do you need right now Ziver?" He softly asked wondering what more he could do to support her.
"..." Slowly she turned her head to face him, her eyes dazed like a haze was shrouding her vision. "Hold me...?" Her brow furrowed as she said slowly through her labored breathing. She was still terrified, she had no idea how to vocalize what she needed. She had no idea what she needed in the first place.
He waited patiently for her to come back to her senses and stop shaking so much. "Ziver, I want you to tell me what you're feeling. Be honest, none of that 'I'm fine' crap." Gibbs stayed calm for now, tending to the crying girl- the closest thing he has to a daughter.
"I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm afraid." What more ways could you say that you were in fear? She gasped between tears, it was scary to admit her feelings, you have no idea how much energy it took just to say those six words.
"Of your father?" He asked tenderly, stating the obvious. She nodded into his chest as she buried her face into it. It was so disquieting to confess that she was actually terrified of someone - her father.
He understood why she would feel this way. What loving father would talk to his daughter that way with such derogatory language, such degrading words? And Ziva lived through all that her whole entire childhood?
"You okay?" She shook her head slowly. At least she was being honest with him, it wouldn't help anyway if she had said no, she was quite obviously crying in his arms, whimpering like a terrified little kid.
For now, she had shut down after being yelled at and it was mostly a one-sided conversation but he was content with it. He just wanted her to feel safe in his arms as at that moment she was quite literally reliving her childhood trauma and the effects of it.
Finally, her breathing gradually calmed and she was shaking less and less. The raging storm and destructive hurricane seemed to have quieted for now. They can have a coherent conversation about what just happened outside.
Her eyes were red and puffy from the tears as she had been crying for a long time but Gibbs knew she needed the emotional outlet so he let her cry to her little heart's content, in a way it was going to help Ziva heal.
It pained him to think how could somebody treat Ziva this way. "He always acts this way toward you?" He gently swiped a piece of tear-soaked hair sticking to her face.
"Yes, it was worse when I was younger. I had to cut him off from my life, so I had to face him less and less. I was protecting myself, I had no choice." She justified her choice to cut her father off from her life, scared that Gibbs was going to disapprove. She constantly had to prove to herself and everyone else that she was not the one who was broken, she was not the one who was cold.
"I don't doubt that." He agreed. "After everything I've seen and heard today, I would be surprised if you didn't have trauma." He learned that his Ziva was so strong to stand up for herself in the only way she knew how to.
Internally, she was talking down to herself and minimalizing what she had been through that the yelling wasn't that bad because other people had it worse. But abuse is abuse and there is no excuse for it - and it's definitely hurtful.
"I am angry for you." Anger bubbled in his stomach and lava boiled in his veins. "No kid should live in fear of their parents. This is not normal Ziver." He wanted to punch Eli David in the face and rip his guts out.
She needed to hear that, she really needed to hear that, she needed for someone other than herself to say it. It meant nothing for herself to say it but it meant everything for Gibbs to say it, he was the closest thing she was ever going to get a father's love, he was everything to her.
It was nice to feel seen, to feel heard for once. And Gibbs was that person for her, he was there for her, not like her father ever did. All she wanted was to hear the validation she craved so badly for but never had.
"What am I supposed to do? I'm confused, I'm scared." She was scared of her father. All she could feel was fear. And all she could think about was - She was terrified.
"I think you forgot that you deserve better, you forget that people -especially your father- are not supposed to treat you like that, he's not supposed to walk all over you." That was the longest sentence Ziva had ever heard him say. "Fight for what you deserve." He whispered, his voice so soft and encouraging.
"No, he will be mad and he will be angry and he will yell at me again." Her voice wavered in fear as she shook her head furiously against his chest.
"If you won't, I will." His soothing presence already spoke volumes, and now he wants to fight for her? Oh, how she loved Gibbs for being Gibbs. He was a father to her more than Eli David could ever be.
It was nice to be comforted for once. Her father never even tried to comfort her afterward. When was the last time they felt safe? When?
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When Ziva was finally collected enough to leave the washroom again. Gibbs put out a hand and helped Ziva up as he slowly walked her to the door.
She took a deep breath and Gibbs turned the door handle to face the waiting outraged monster out in the bullpen. She was still scared and terrified about what would happen once she was under her father's wrath again.
They walked up to Eli, hand in hand as Gibbs' calloused finger tenderly rubbed back and forth on the back of her hand in a comforting gesture giving her courage to confront him.
Gibbs walked straight up to him standing tall as he stared him right in the eyes with his own piercing blue ones glowing in the midnight light, challenging the man like an angry wolf.
"You do not talk to your daughter that way." Ziva hid on the back side of the father figure, crouching, cowering, terrified that they were going to have a yelling match as two wolves circled each other.
"What way? I was simply disciplining my daughter." Eli exclaimed in pretended cluelessness and then turned aggressive, glaring back at the challenger. "You cannot tell me what a father can or cannot do to his child. I will do whatever I want to Ziva. She is my flesh and blood-"
"Then you should be treating your flesh and blood better if she is so dear to your heart." Gibbs cut him off before he could finish his nonsensical enraging sentence. Ziva's eyes darted back and forth between the two men waiting for one of them to lunge at each other and sink their teeth into the other.
"I have only done what is best for her and she is stronger because of that." He tried to justify his action but Gibbs knew better and was not convinced.
"She is your child, she doesn't need to be stronger, she needs to be protected." (from you) he wanted to add but that seemed like too much. How could Eli David treat her so badly? Gibbs could not tolerate his behavior.
"Do not judge my parenting, I will parent Ziva however I want to. She is my child, not yours-" Eli snarled at him like he owned Ziva as a property and was about to give a speech about how he was always right and nobody defied him.
"This is not parenting this is blatant gratuitous screaming and yelling for absolutely no reason." The marine bared his teeth at him, he was a tightly wound spring ready to pounce at any given second to defend Ziva. If Eli David can't appreciate his daughter, he will.
"Don't ever come near her again." He growled at him in a low dangerous tone, "You stay away from her." Even though Gibbs was physically shorter than him, he was still as fierce if not fiercer as he stared him down, sharp claws about to tear him to pieces.
"This conversation is not over." Eli huffed enraged and decided he had enough of a yelling match for the day before he killed them (violence is always the answer) and was going to continue later when Gibbs wasn't anywhere near Ziva. He walked away without another word, grumbling angrily in Hebrew, tail between his legs as he stepped into the tiny metal box and descended.
Ziva admired Gibbs so much as he stood up to her father, so fearless, he was her hero, knight in shining whatever. Ziva was so glad that she had him in her life, she could never repay Gibbs for what he did for her.
And she started crying again because someone cared, someone finally cared enough to stand up for her. Gibbs turned to the girl who was hiding behind him the whole time to see that she was crying again.
"Ziver, please don't cry." The father figure smiled warmly and tenderly wiped her tears away from her face. His heart clenched savagely, he couldn't bear to see the closest thing he had to a daughter in pain anymore. "You're safe now." He pulled her in and kissed her temple ever so gently. "I got you." And all Ziva could do was cling onto him like a cub would to their parent.
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