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“So, what are you going as for Halloween?” Kel asked Aubrey with a big, goofy grin on his face, stretching across the dining table. Aubrey raised an eyebrow.
“Halloween?” she scoffed. “We’re sixteen, Kel, who gives a shit about Halloween?”
“Me!” Kel proclaimed, thumb to his chest. He then pointed an accusing finger at Aubrey. “And YOU!”
Aubrey stared at him with an unamused stare. “I literally just said I don’t-”
“But you do!” Kel retorted, attempting to gaslight Aubrey into thinking she does like Halloween. “You’ve been starved, Aubrey, prohibited from celebrating Halloween, the spookiest time of the year, for the past four years due to sheer loneliness!”
“You know I have friends outside of you guys, right?” she asked.
“Fine, you haven’t celebrated Halloween for the past four years because your new friends didn’t like fun, is that better?” Kel huffed.
“…no,” she deadpanned. “I usually go out to party with them.”
“Doesn’t matter, that’s the backstory we’re going with because there isn’t enough time to write the rest of this conversation!” Kel said, pointing his finger towards the ceiling at a 58.3° angle.
“What?” Aubrey mouthed. Hero then came out of the kitchen, placing a mug in front of Aubrey.
“I think you should listen to Kel,” he said. “You guys aren’t gonna be kids for much longer, and you should really try to make as many memories together while you still can!”
“We’re teenagers, Hero, not kids,” she groaned, taking the cup of tea and slowly sipping it. “Mm. Good tea.”
“Says the person who got all excited over the new Spaceboy movie announcement,” Sunny, who had mostly remained a silent observer, finally spoke up.
“I can and will kick your ass, Suzuki,” she gritted with a faint blush, standing up from out of her seat.
“But you won’t,” he stated, batting his eyelashes at her, his face still a completely neutral expression. “Because you looove me.” He then pointed down at the wheelchair he was seated in. “And also because attacking an amputee is generally frowned upon in modern society.”
“One of these days, Sunny, I’m gonna find a loophole in your preconceptions about society and send you into the fucking sun,” Aubrey spoke monotonously with a mildly pissed expression.
“This won’t look good for you in court, you know,” Sunny replied, writing something down on a piece of paper he materialized from his back pocket.
“Wh- are you actually keeping a transcript of my exact words!?” Aubrey questioned, eying the paper.
“Good question,” Sunny replied, beginning to wheel away from the table.
“Oh for the love of- GET BACK HERE!” she exclaimed, chasing after the surprisingly swift boy. The two indulged in what appeared to be a game of cat and mouse around the Rodriguez family’s living room, except it was more like the mouse had a car and the cat was just a normal cat with absolutely no hopes of reaching the mouse at all, so it wasn’t really much of a game of cat and mouse at all and more like an on-foot chase after a car, though that isn’t really much of an analogy either, making some question why even bring up the idea of an analogy to explain the situation in the first place if it doesn’t actually properly represent the situation it is supposed to relate to.
Hero chuckled, “See, look at yourselves goofing off, you’re still kids at heart! You shouldn’t limit what you experience just because you’re ‘too old’ for it!”
Kel gasped, clasping his hands at the sides of his head, excitedly asking, “So you’re going trick or treating with us, Hero?!”
Hero sweatdropped, rubbing the back of his head. “Er, well that’s a different-”
“HYPOCRISY!” Kel yelled, pointing a finger at Hero.
“I’ll chaperone?” Hero suggested, holding his hands up in front of him. Kel was unamused. He turned to the living room, where Aubrey had collapsed out of exhaustion and Sunny was spinning around in his wheelchair.
“HYPOCRISY!” Kel called to gain their attention, pointing at Hero.
Aubrey lifted her face off the carpet. “Hypocrisy?” she questioned, turning to look at Sunny.
“Hypocrisy,” Sunny confirmed, a glint appearing in his eye.
“…what…?” Hero mouthed. Before he could ask any sort of question, the three’s necks all snapped towards his direction, sending a shiver down his spine.
“HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY!” the three all began chanting, slowly approaching Hero, who had begun backing up.
“I… what’s going on?” Hero shakily asked.
No response was given, the constant chant of, “HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY!” being the only thing coming out of their mouths.
“Guys? This isn’t funny anymore- this wasn’t even funny to begin with in the first place!” he pleaded, now backed into the corner.
“HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY!” stated the council, the light from the dining table now overshadowed by the three titans.
“PLEASE! I LEFT THE STOVE ON, MY SOUP’S GONNA BURN!” he cried, curling up into a ball.
“HYPOCRISY! HYPOCRISY! HYPO-”
Suddenly, the door opened, a head of blonde hair poking through. “Hey guys!” Basil called as he walked in. “Sorry I’m late, I got caught up in a conversation with the-” he started, causing Sunny, Aubrey, and Kel’s necks to snap over to stare at him.
Basil froze, taking in the scene before him. Hero turned to him, his eyes staring into Basil’s, pleading.
Basil took a deep breath, closing his eyes as a single thought came into his head.
Fuck no.
Basil calmly walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and filling it with soup, before wrapping it in saran wrap and heading back to the door, closing it shut without another word. He could hear Hero’s screams even as he passed the park, but did Basil care?
Nah, he’s had enough trauma for the next decade, thank you very much.
Suffice to say, Hero was thoroughly traumatized by the whole incident. Didn’t stop Aubrey from losing her shit at the sight of Hero in an Oragne Joe costume as she arrived outside Basil’s house.
“BAH HA HA HA HA!” she guffawed, Hero’s awkward, embarrassed face only further exacerbating her laughter. “It looks even BETTER in person!” she wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye.
“I’m never coming back to this town ever again,” he grimaced, wanting nothing more than to sink into the Earth.
“Oh, come on, bro! You gotta admit, we look awesome together! We’re like two peas in a pod now!” Kel exclaimed, donned in an Orange Joe costume to match with Hero’s. “Maybe we could get a deal with JoeCorp and star in a commercial for them!”
“Please let me repress all memory of this as some bizarre fever dream,” Hero groaned, shoving his face into his hands.
“Nah, this is going down in the history books,” Aubrey snickered. “I can already see the headlines, ‘Hero shits his pants in fear and gives in to the spirit of Halloween!’”
“I object to that name!” Hero objected. “I did not soil my pants!”
“Would it really hurt ya to say shit, Hero?” she teased. “Just because you’re an old man compared to us doesn’t mean you gotta act like it!”
“Ooh, we gotta get them to add a blurb about you in the books too! That’s gotta be the most accurate Spaceboy costume I’ve EVER seen!” Kel exclaimed, bowing his head. “The spirit of Halloween has truly graced your soul! I am not worthy!”
“I-I just saw it at Hobbeez and thought I’d try it to see if it’d fit well on me!” she defended, face lightly dusted with pink.
“Really? It looks more homemade than anything mass-produced,” Basil noted as he came out through the front door, dressed as a vampire. “With how detailed it is, you must’ve been planning to make it weeks in advance!”
Kel stared at Aubrey wide-eyed, mouth agape. “You… were instilled with the spirit of Halloween all along?” he gasped, amazed.
“NO I WASN’T! SHUT UP!” she yelled, face now completely red. “GOD! What’s taking Sunny so damn long?!” she redirected, looking back at Basil’s front door.
Basil sighed. “He was having trouble getting his costume on, but he REALLY didn’t want me to come and help. Something about wanting to keep his costume a surprise.”
“That… sounds kinda sketchy,” Hero said. “I mean, what with Sunny’s last ‘surprise’,” he muttered, scratching the back of his head. “-would leaving him unsupervised with his costume really be a good idea?”
“Worry not, there is nothing to be concerned with!” The Maverick appeared from the bushes with a flourish, large paw-mitts on his hands and what appeared to be the head of a wolf costume adorned on his head. “For your friend has gone through character development! The possibility of him regressing and repeating thine mistakes of the past has but only a nano-particle of a chance to occur!”
Aubrey stared at The Maverick with disdain. “Go away, Mikhael, you weren’t invited,” she groaned, waving him off. The Maverick simply wagged his finger at his leader, clicking his tongue.
“Ah, but you are mistaken, for I WAS invited!” he proclaimed, dramatically spinning around and gesturing to Basi, who awkwardly looked away. “Could you not tell with mine and Count Basil’s matching costumes?”
“Basil?! YOU invited HIM?! ” she gawked, a mortified and confused look on her face.
“I-I ran into him last week, and he was really nice and charming and I just thought it’d be fun if he came with us!” he mumbled, a slight blush stretching across his face. Aubrey’s face contorted in horror.
“You- he- you’re in- he’s- the- you two are- what the actual FUCK-” tumbled out of her mouth, her hands frantically pointing between the two, a realization she wanted to deny more than anything becoming more and more evident. “Of all the people on the fucking planet, Basil, Mikhael?! Fucking MIKHAEL?!” she questioned, sanity slowly slipping away.
“The Maverick,” Basil and The Maverick both simultaneously corrected. Aubrey’s face could not get any more disturbed.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP REALITY IS THIS?!” she screamed in fear, backing away from the group. “Basil, Mikhael, Basil, Mikhael, BASIL, THE FUCKING MAVERICK, BASIL, FUCKING, THE BASIL, MAVERICK, FUCKING, BASIL, MAVERICK, BRICK, BRICK, FUCKING MAVIL, FUCKING-”
As Aubrey continued to have her mental breakdown in the background, Hero turned to The Maverick. “So, wait, you’re supposed to be… matching costumes?” he reiterated.
“Yes, for within me, I hold a beast, one only to be unleashed upon the blood moon’s rise every millenia!” The Maverick spoke dramatically, his pose equally as dramatic.
“He means he’s a werewolf,” Basil clarified. He gave a small smile, showing the fake teeth in his mouth. “And I’m a vampire!”
“Count Basil, to be exact!” The Maverick gestured, jazz hands and all. “And if any dare to disrespect the great name of the Count, they shall be but a mere victim to the beast I hold back within my soul, ready to strike at a moment’s notice!”
“I thought it was whenever there’s a full moon?” Hero recalled.
“Bah, details, details,” The Maverick waved off. “All that matters is that I will protect the Count, no matter what adversary challenges me!”
The front door to Basil’s house then swung open, and everyone’s heads turned to face it.
“AHH! AN ADVERSARY!” The Maverick shrieked, hiding behind a frazzled Basil. Aubrey, who had been broken out of her mental breakdown, narrowed her eyes at the figure in the doorway.
“Sunny,” Aubrey spoke monotonously. Sunny wheeled himself out of the house.
“Whatcha think? Pretty good, right?” he smugly asked, spinning around to allow everyone to view his costume from all angles.
His costume was a dark color, coating his entire figure in shadow. His wheelchair was also somewhat hidden in the costume, almost giving him the appearance of floating. Dark vines dangled over his face, with what appeared to be mud coating his face. Altogether, the costume was a bit creepy, it could send a few shivers up one’s spine.
However, this costume had a history, one feature making this fact glaringly obvious: a small LED taped to his left eye, or rather the eyepatch covering his left eye. This single feature made it clear what the costume was, or rather, where it had been used.
“Sunny,” Aubrey repeated, gritting her teeth as she approached the boy. She placed a hand on his shoulder.
“TOO FUCKING SOON, SHITHEAD!!” she yelled at him, all while he stared at her with that same old neutral expression.
“What? Am I not allowed to reference my past cryptid shenanigans?” Sunny asked, the costume being the same costume based on Something he had used just a few months ago when he had attempted to haunt the town.
“HALF THE TOWN STILL THINKS THE SASQUATCH IS STILL OUT THERE BECAUSE THE INFORMATION OF YOU BEING THE SASQUATCH WAS WITHHELD OUT OF RESPECT FOR YOUR WELLBEING!” she yelled, waving her arms in the air. Sunny simply waved her off.
“Aw, you really think I look like the Sasquatch?” he asked innocently. His neutral face shifted to a shit-eating grin. “Thankies!~”
“Sunny, for the love of god, please wear literally anything other than that,” Hero pleaded, exasperated. “Sorry if this is a little too on the nose, but I mean, I think we already went past on the nose when you decided to dress up as what’s essentially your dead sister’s corpse??? So, please don’t do that???”
“Well, first off, Something isn’t my dead sister’s corpse, it’s her hair,” Sunny clarified. “And second off, I don’t have anything else.”
Hero pointed to Kel. “If you really need a costume, Kel can get you one! Heck, I’m pretty sure he even has an ACTUAL Sasquatch costume if you’re still on that whole Sasquatch thing!”
Kel nodded. “Yeah! It was actually one of my first solo attempts to capture the Sasquatch: Mating calls!” he proclaimed.
Suddenly, from the bushes behind Kel, a blue-haired girl in what seemed to be a Sasquatch costume appeared, exclaiming, “Hey, did you know that in terms of furry cryptid and homo sapien breeding-”
“AH-” Kel yelped, breaking into a sprint and covering his ears as Cris chased after him, still quoting the cursed words. Basil stared at the two as they engaged in a game of what appeared to be cat and mouse, except it was actually a game of cat and mouse this time because they were both pretty even when it came to athletics, before turning to Sunny.
“Sunny,” he started.
“That is indeed the name I was given at birth,” Sunny nodded.
“Sunny,” Basil repeated, face faltering slightly. “While I’m sure I and everyone else can… appreciate the fact that you’ve been able to move past our shared trauma,” he spoke, frustration just barely peeking through his words. “I really think this is, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, the worst possible fucking idea you could have ever come up with and I think you should visit a mental assylum.”
Sunny huffed, crossing his arms. “You guys are being REAL discouraging right now,” he proclaimed. “I mean, really, what’s the issue here? All I’m doing is wearing a costume made to be an effigy of my late sister’s dead hanging corpse, what’s the worst that could-”
Cris’s dad then jumped out of the bushes, gun in hand and screaming, “AHA, I FINALLY FOUND YOU SASQUATCH!-”
The hospital monitor beeped periodically, echoing throughout the room. Wide, distressed eyes appeared to be a constant among the visitors to the room, everyone too shocked to say anything at all.
Sunny coughed. “Ok. So. I may have made a minor miscalculation-”
Aubrey stood up, screaming, “SUNNY YOU ARE LITERALLY PARALYZED FROM THE NECK DOWN, HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A MINOR-”
