Work Text:
SLAM
The bathroom door hit the frame with a loud and firm impact as Izuku laid against it.
‘ Oh god, what did I just do?’
The green-haired boy’s brain ran a mile per minute, everything he thought he knew felt wrong, wrong, wrong. He slowly sinks to the floor, his knees hitting the uncomfortable rigid tiles on the way down. Just moments ago he had been with the boy he had been hopelessly in love with for the past year. Just moments ago, the boy with the stupid purple hair and snark little smirk told him he likes Izuku back.
Just moments ago he had kissed the charming boy with the stupid purple hair and couldn’t stand it. Why couldn’t he stand it? Every time Izuku thought about Hitoshi his stomach filled with butterflies. Wanting to hold his hand, walk home from late-night movie dates, cuddle together on the couch legs and arms intertwined, however kissing or anything more was never on his mind.
‘That’s what we are supposed to do though, right? What the fuck wrong with me?’
Izuku often had a hard time telling romantic from platonic, a surprisingly common issue amongst quirkless people. According to people in online forums and chatrooms, it was probably due to differences in socialization between quirked kids and non quirked kids. There were many times while growing up when Izuku would look at other children with envy or adoration and mistake that they wanted to connect for romantic attraction.
But Hitoshi was different. Hitoshi’s smile made Izuku feel like his soul was being tied into a knot. Izuku could never stop himself from being entranced in his long-winded ramblings about underground heroes. Hitoshi felt like the piece Izuku had been missing from his life. He wanted to be more than just friends, whatever that would mean to either of them.
Izuku ran his fingers through his hair, tearing them through any of his knots or curls that refused to budge. His breathing was fast as he tried to figure out why he felt so… gross. Hitoshi wasn't gross, he was anything but that. A soft rapping against the wood sent all of Izukus's thoughts to a screeching halt.
“Izu, please open the door, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” It was Hitoshi. He stayed even through this. Izuku doesn't know what he did to get the attention of a boy so sweet but he was happy he did.
“I don’t wanna!” Izuku kicked himself at the phrasing. ‘I don't wanna? Dude, are you five? C’mon, you owe the poor bastard a bit more than that!’
“That’s ok too,” there was a pause on the other side of the door for just a moment. “Do you want to talk about it, or do you want some space?”
“We can talk about it,” Izuku manages to get out, just above a whisper. He can hear Hitoshi let out a deep breath.
“Ok, I’m glad. I’m sorry if I was moving too fast, I didn’t mean to upset you or make you uncomfortable, I promise you that wasn’t my intention. I just thought, you know, you said you like me back so I thought you would want to kiss? I’m sorry we were just standing so close and you leaned in, and I should have asked Im--” Izuku couldn’t listen to you any longer.
“I’m sorry!” Izuku blurts out. Hitoshi’s rambling stops immediately. “I wanted to kiss you too, you know.” his voice felt like a fragile bunny. “Every time I look at you I can't stop thinking about how much I want to be with you, how I want to be yours. I want to hold your hand and have it mean something more than friendship. I wanted you to be my first kiss. You are my first kiss, by the way, I just want you to know that.”
Hitoshi makes a noise akin to a startled cat on the other side of the wooden door but Izuku presses on. “I dunno, the thought of kissing anyone has never really been on my mind before, it never appealed to me but I thought it would be different with you. But when we actually did, I felt icky afterward.”
“Icky?” Hitoshi echoes softly. Izuku takes a shaky deep breath and figures out how to organize his hurricane of thoughts into something the fragile bunny that is his vocal chords can handle.
“It just felt gross, the feeling of someone's lips on mine, and your tongue in my mouth and the texture and just everything. It's not against you! I’m sure you’re a great kisser I mean you’re perfect! It's me who’s the problem. I just don’t know if I wanna do the whole kissing thing,” His voice got quieter. “I just don't think I like the whole kissing thing. If you don’t want to be with me, that's okay.” Izuku turns around and slowly opens the bathroom door, maneuvering himself in such a way that allows him to stay seated. He can see Hitoshi’s body sitting opposite of him but refuses to make eye contact. He could barely handle words right now, there was no way in hell Izuku could handle eye contact.
“Izu have you heard of being asexual?” HItoshi’s voice breaks through the silence like a ship cracking through ice.
“Um, no?” Izuku turned his eyes upward, if only a little bit, to try to read the expression of Hitoshi, he couldn’t read that pretty boy at all.
“It’s a sexuality, but it basically means you don’t experience sexual attraction. It is also a spectrum but I think it could do you some good to look into a bit, darling.” Izuku nodded slowly, taking in the information along with the petname. “Not wanting to kiss, isn't the end of the world, by the way. If you want to try again in the future, we can. If not, that is perfectly fine too. It doesn't change the way I feel about you Izu.” Izuku’s head shoots up, his soft green eyes meeting the lilac of Hitoshi’s. The two stare at each other for a moment. For a moment there is only them. For a moment, the rest of the world is silent, stagnant as the two of them take in everything their partner is, and everything their partner could be.
“Hito, Is it okay if I hug you?”
“Of course, bunny.” And with that, Izuku launches himself into his now partner’s arms. Both boys wrap their arms around each other. Each holding on like their partner is their last anchor to this earth. “We can go at your pace, whatever you are comfortable with, I’m willing to try. However fast or slow, it’s up to you.” Izuku squints a bit at this.
“Kitty,” Izuku starts, testing out how the nickname feels on his lips. “Your comfort matters too, this isn't a dictatorship. We will decide together.” Hitoshi nods softly in response as he buries his head further into Izuku’s neck.
“Alright then, we decide together. But for now, let's just stay here for a little while longer.”
The pair sat half in the bathroom, and half in Izuku’s hero-filled bedroom in silence. Slowly, the world began to spin again, this time at the pace of both of their beating hearts.