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Today, it was not an easy day. To only explain it as “not an easy day” wounds me in my heart slightly so, but I don’t know how else to actively speak my words without being curtly blunt. It has been a trait of mine that has not watered down since the beginning, nor do I have a way to water it down.
Regardless, today was an event that I had envisioned for days ever since the last incident happened; an envisioning that makes me stumble onto the ground without even nary a thought.
The last time it had happened, we were not prepared. All the Sinners had died in the turmoil, and the Manager would have died if the Guide hadn’t protected him. It was only between me and the one I called my beloved, the shadow that always moves behind me and caresses me from afar.
That day, I saw another version of him. The true Shadow of Another, full of anger that could not be suppressed nor quelled. It was a rage that couldn’t be stopped by not even me, a burning feeling that could only be stopped by death itself, something that I forcibly took it upon my hands to do.
Yes, that day was the day that I killed Akasha. And today, this situation was put in my hands again.
He had already been acting erratically just a few days before this day, feelings quelling up as it did before. I had taken note of this already, and attempted to speak to Akasha to see if I could ease some of that pain; but it was something that he refused to say.
To have him not be able to say something to me was already a wound enough, but his eyes. They flickered with the sight of sadness the more I saw them, the more that I looked at him as the days went on. It was… concerning.
I had to presume the worst. It was retching, to have to make a contingency plan for my beloved; but with the stares of the Red Gaze, knowing of what had happened before, there was no use trying to delay it.
I had thought up a reason as to why this was happening, and presumed that maybe something or someone was bothering him and I simply hadn’t done enough to notice to prevent it. My thoughts were to apologize and simply do better to make sure he could always count on me. That was the plan for the morning that came.
And yet, that morning started up with the sounds of screaming and the smell of etching flames. We were all stationed in K Corp this time, when it had happened; as the Sinners all rushed out to find Shadow of Another rampaging and destroying the city itself, as K Corp guards all rushed to attempt to suppress it down.
The way he holds that sword in his mouth, the tears flowing down as flames flicking from behind it in fury, and its overall large size as it stomps the floor in rage; it was all too agonizing to see. Those burrowed feelings now expunging itself into life as he sheds his form into this.
“I just don’t want to be a bad guy anymore. Though it’s no use, is it? I can wear the clothes of people, and take a new form all I want...but it doesn’t really change anything. Because humans are already bad on their own, and a wolf pretending to be a human only makes things worse.”
His words flow into my mind as the Sinners immediately act, changing into their most powerful identities into trying to suppress SoA, with Heathcliff charging forward with a gun and knife in hand; the Rabbit hopping over with a Quick Suppression.
“This damn bloke is a lot stronger than I originally remembered, eh?” His voice echoed through the filter of the mask, as knife and sword clashed with one another with his gun trying to ram itself inside the clenched jaw to try and gun SoA down from inside. He was struggling immensely as the fox was shaking its head all around and attempting to cut him down.
And while Heathcliff was trying to do that, Outis and Gregor were trying to ambush SoA from the back as Rodion tried to catch its attention from the front. It was a sound plan, due to the identities currently being used as that of the Seven Director, a Zwei Section 4, and the frontliner being a Dieci. However…
“GAH-” The fox simply bashed Heathcliff out of the way, and spun around to catch all three of them within the spinning range of the blade. While they weren’t all exactly mortally wounded, it was a powerful blow that puts them out of the fight for now as they all recover from their staggered minds.
And all I could do was watch as I took off my gauntlets with a stern face, Dante looking at me with a concerned face.
I wasn’t looking at Dante nor would I be able to tell due to the clock, but I felt their sense of worry.
“Yes… but what I am going to do does not require these.”
“Manager. You can leave this to me and tell everyone else to come back. I’ve slain Akasha before, and I will have to do it again.”
There was a saying that I heard before from one of my colleagues during my time in N Corp. “You have to fight fire with fire,” a saying that I never understood until now. I always took things to the literal definition, without paying mind to the meanings behind it; but now the saying is more clear as I charge forward towards my beloved, with those equal eyes that he was showing me from before.
“... Halt. You may not escape.”
You must fight back with equal strength, if you have to win at all costs. I felt the scalding heat rise from above and behind me as I charged, my outfit burning in broad daylight into that of a matador’s suit of lights and my fists donning its gleaming banner of chains. I had forgotten when I had obtained this E.G.O during my expeditions with the Sinners, but it was one that resonated deep within me and another one, Ishmael. While I never felt that rage that of the Brazen Bull, the feeling of suffering and hatred that it felt was something that I understood.
I understood it all too well, as Akasha had been feeling.
The clashing between my fist and his blade emitted a noise of screaming and engulfing flames, SoA’s blind rage not being able to realize just who was attacking him from head on. There was an attempt of a swing at my chest, but I narrowly dodge it as I grabbed it’s ashy fur and launched it forward, as the poles and chains fly downward from however it manifests to entangle it forward.
It was there, as SoA landed onto the chains and collided with a pained screech, dropping it’s sword onto the ground, that the beast locked eyes onto me. His eyes constrict as I stare him down, wrapping the banner around my hands as it becomes nothing but magma and heat. For a slight moment, I only see not the large fox that has been rampaging in hatred and rage; but my lover and kind-hearted shadow who loves me ever so dearly with a bright smile on his face. I do this for him, to bring him back to me… and maybe to understand the reason as to why this situation had to happen again.
It was trying to say something as it tried to release itself from the binds of my chains, whimpering and thrashing about; but it was no use. There was nothing else I could do but what I had to do.
“... It will all be over soon, my love.” A promise, a true one.
And it all happened so rapidly, my charging forward as my fist connected with his body, then his side… and then, the final hit towards his very head as magma sparks out of my fists; the chains breaking as his body flies towards the bus itself, almost knocking it over before he simply collapsed onto the floor.
As the form disappeared from my body, magma turning into nothing and my suit turning to that of the uniform, all I could do was stand there next to his very sword as SoA didn’t move. It was limp, at first; like if it had died right then and there… but there was no smoke dissipating, no ashes enveloping him to turn him back. He was still very much alive, just unable to do quite anything; a sight that could stab my own heart to kill me.
So, I grabbed the sword itself and dragged it over towards the fox as the Sinners and Manager gathered around; waiting to see just what would happen next as I knelt down on both my knees and cradled his head.
… A whisper. Something that was only meant for me. Something that he was trying to say, but barely had the life to muster it out. I bowed down in an attempt to listen, an attempt to understand…
… and suddenly, it all made sense. His distantness, his glares, and his attitudes. I didn’t know what to say, nor felt… except mutter my last two words before my beloved would truly come back to me.
“... I’m sorry.”
And I plunged the sword into his head, everything happening all at once as I was carrying his remains once more. He would come back to me in due time, but for now, it was my turn to take care of what’s left as he takes his rest for now.
No one had any words to say, not even Faust who was clearly agitated by her work of art having an indent into it due to SoA having crashed into the car. They all simply watched me as I walked away and into the bus with Akasha in my arms with nothing left to say.
… until they had spoken up.
And as I halted in my step towards the stair of the bus, all I could do was simply turn towards Dante and speak.
“... that he only wanted to protect me.”
When you see someone die so many times, like I have during all of our conquests and battles; and can only watch as you can do nothing to do it… there’s nothing left but to burst to see that happen a final time. Even if your blind rage causes you to almost hurt the person you love. That’s why he had ceased when he finally saw me, when he realized who was in front of him.
… I should’ve realized this long before. I am careless, but I will do better.
I will make sure this never happens again.
I carry Akasha back into the bus, with nothing left to say… and nothing left to give.