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The first thing that panged through my head was the blatant ringing of my ears. That perplexing sound that evokes itself at random intervals, or when you’re struck down hard enough that your mind is crushing itself against your skull. Yes, it was truly a strange sound; a sound that took over as I got struck by one of those disgusting heretics, fiends with metal pipes and makeshift blades trying to strike me down. I hadn’t nary a clue as to how they got behind me in the first place, as I was trying to fend myself against several others who dared stand in the way of our cause, in the way of The One Who Grips.
“Pierce the heretic! Do not let this accursed thing escape our judgment!”
“... All heretics shall be purged…”
“... Kehehe. My dear Großhammer.”
I feel nothing but the sensation of pain coming from all sides of my head as my vision is blurred, the singular eye of mine barely adjusting to the sight of the two who had been charging into the forefront with me chase down the one who struck me, a gleaming shine of blood and oil staining their armor and flesh as their Nails strike true.
Yet, my focus was turned towards the blessed one herself, the One Who Grips, who had that smile as she caressed my cheek.
“The pain that courses through you… it is a symbol of your faith and the meaning of life, keehee… but your gifts have been shattered by this filth…”
A whistle emanates through the air as she summons more Nails and Hammers to her.
“I cannot have you go on like this, my Hammer; I have so much more for you to do, so many more to purge… so go now, and come back to me reinvigorated...”
As I began fading in and out, the last thing I could hear from the One Who Grips was her glorious laughter, that sheer cackling as there was another whistle; the signs of marching forward to stamp out the filth and praise the cause. Even if my faith was draining away by the horrid siege of heresy, I knew that I would not be easily squandered.
For that is the order of the One Who Grips.
My eye fluttered open for a second, after having previously faded into unconsciousness at the hands of fellow Nails and Hammers. It was being assaulted by a weird light, one that burned into my retinas before my hand shakily moved to block it from sight. At the instant moment that I moved, though, there was a sound of a squeak next to me. I couldn’t move, my body was tired as is, but—
“Ah! You’re awake a lot more faster than I thought, er
—”
Oh. It’s that one.
In order to fully optimize myself for whatever the One Who Grips required me to do in her stead, I was ordered to subject myself to an experimental process; one that would be able to restore my health as quickly as possible in order to resist succumbing to the fallacies of the heretics. The process itself was lengthy and sacrificial, having to remove my right eye in order to secure the many tubings the experiment required.
It was a success, as I became one of the very first Hammers to wield such things into battle; an accomplishment that my brethren cheer for to this day. And still, even with such accomplishments, the system has its own defects… such as it being rather simple to crush in terms of how I had fallen earlier.
That is why someone is assigned to me for constant regulation… a researcher who came from K Corp in order to regularly monitor me and the tubing systems. He…
… is an interesting person. Not a heretic in the slightest, but he is not human either. It was one of the first things I noted of the researcher, the wispy ears and tail and his constantly glowing eyes. It felt like he was peering into me directly, which felt uncomfortable at first. I’ve grown accustomed to it since then.
However, my mind would continue to drive so many questions. They were unbefitting of me as a Hammer, such questions did not needlessly plague my mind; yet the more I looked at him, the more confused I continued to be.
“... Meursault?
”
“... Hm.” I slowly rose from the bedding I was laying upon, my back aching with what I presumed was either the feeling of tiredness or just aching pain.
“So, you took some heavy hits to your system and the ampule was not reaching to your body fast enough. Luckily, they brought you to me fast enough so I was able to remove the tubings. ”
It was then that I realized I had nothing of the spot plugged into me, my eye socket being covered with an eyepatch and the other openings being covered with bandages. An odd feeling, as I had grown just as accustomed to the tubes as I was without them.
“... I am not broken by heresy, am I.”
A soft chuckle, as he ran a hand through his hair; a nervous shudder, or something else. I could not tell as he grabbed his clipboard and began scanning through.
“The ampules I injected earlier while you were unconscious worked just fine. You’ll be okay.”
“Mhm.”
“... although, you are staying here for a bit more. The armor and systems within it are being repaired. As it is, I’ll do a check-up on you, okay?”
“Understood.”
He began to examine me in all parts, using more through machines and getting slightly hands-on with checking to see if my body was properly functioning as it should; to which my eyes followed him everywhere, scurrying around frantically and avoiding eye-contact.
… or maybe, something else entirely. It was confusing, with every time we locked onto one another, he would go slightly red and simply go back to what he was doing. I wonder if it was the many bandages that caused this, or that I could perhaps be menacing to him.
The might of a Großhammer makes most feel small, I have already confirmed this with other interactions with other people. And—
“What are you?”
I found my lips moving, uttering a question that I had previously asked myself several times before locking it away and letting the researcher do his work. Today… it seems my mind had other intentions. A curiosity that wanted to be satisfied.
“... ah?”
He perked up, almost in shock as he stumbled forward.
“Do you mean… about my ears and such?”
“Mhm.”
“Ah, it’s… well, it’s not complicated but-”
“You are not human.”
“Well, not really but… I try to be! Do you… think of me as…”
His voice suddenly drops… and so do his ears. The gravity of his unspoken implications ran across the room, my eyes loomed down to him as he almost shrunk down in his size.
I did not respond verbally, I simply lurched my hand forward… and grabbed his wrist. There was a sound of genuine shock, his eyes darting to me and then to his wrist, as I fumbled around until I located what I was looking for.
Veins. One of the core parts of the human body, something that spreads throughout the entirety of it as it pumps blood to its necessary locations. It had spoken everything I needed to know, even if there were more questions that I continued to hold back.
This research may not be human, as he says, but he is not a heretic. He is of flesh and bone, a sign of true belief to what it means to be human. I let go of his wrist and shake my head as he almost crumbles down to the ground.
“You are not impure. This alone answers everything.”
“A… Ahaa… yes, uhm…” His voice quivers slightly before he regains his composure and looks down towards his clipboard, scratching things off almost hurriedly.
“You have nothing damaged, you’re completely fine. And-”
A beeping sound from the computer, as we both looked at it the moment it sounded. All it took was one look from the researcher to look back at me and finish his sentence.
“... And you can leave for the next room. We have to reinsert your system and put back your armor on.”
“... Understood.”
I dragged myself off the table, the researcher meekly trying to make sure I wouldn’t stumble or fall off before leading me to the door. As we got there, I reached for the doorknob yet halted; before looking back at the researcher and letting my questioning get the better of me. I do not know why I continue to do so, nor do I believe I will understand it. Still, I ask away, waiting for an answer.
The researcher blinks, slightly turning red again before adjusting his glasses and smiling ever-so-slightly… warmly, an oddity.
“... It’s Akasha, Meursault… will you remember it?”
“... I will.”
“Hah…” He gives me a nod before motioning to the door as he opens it, the other researchers waiting for me there. “... until we meet again, then.”
“... hm.”
I walked forward without nary a thought, as the door shut behind me. I would be refitted into my suit and have all my tubes reinserted into its specific places. It would be hours later that I would rejoin my compatriots, my fellow Nails and Hammers, to hear the sermon of the One Who Grips. My faith still never unwavering, as I gripped my nail and would charge forward later on to fend against the heretics once more
… yet I find myself in an odd situation. A strange one. A name that rings in my head when I am not focused, a name that clings somewhere to which I am not expecting of it.
… Is my faith unwavering?
No… no, surely not.