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When Peter woke up that morning, his sense was throbbing. Not like the usual: ‘you’re about to be stabbed’ pulse, and more like a strange ‘I have no idea what is going on but something is wrong’ persistent feeling.
It wouldn’t let up.
All morning his neck was uncomfortably tingling.
It got so bad that even Ned asked if he was ok.
(Peter loved his best friend, don’t get him wrong, but Ned was about as observant as a toaster.)
He was floating all day, in a state of paranoia, too aware of his sense to be aware of anything else.
He was fairly sure he had taken a maths test that morning but he couldn’t be sure.
Peter was sort of confident it was last period: he could hear Ned chatting in the background and last period was the only one in which they sat together on Fridays.
He was sharply thrust back into awareness when Mr Harrington put a piece of paper on his desk.
His head was throbbing, his eyes and ears suddenly being bombarded with light and sound.
He could feel every stitch in his clothing.
It sucked.
After his abrupt return to reality, he realised his teacher had stopped his speech and Ned’s chatter in his ear was even louder than it was before.
But Peter couldn’t really focus on what his friend was saying, too busy trying not to be sick as dread filled his body at the sight of the paper in front of him.
A field trip to Stark Industries.
Why did the universe hate him so much?
He banged his head on his desk so hard, any non-superpowered teenager would’ve been knocked out.
-
It was the day of the trip.
As he handed his slip- signed by May- to Mr Harrington, and sat on the bus, he had to try his best not to throw up all over Ned.
Why did the school keep inviting him on trips? Could they not see he was cursed?
His sighed and looked out the window, praying to Thor, Loki, and any and all other gods out there that the trip would go well.
Did that cloud look like a giant middle finger or was he imagining things?
-
Before he knew it, their bus was pulling up to the building and his class was standing in the lobby.
Some reception-person was going on a whole security, safety, NDA thing but all the words went in one of Peter's ears and out the other.
That was until, his class were being handed out ID cards, and he didn’t get one.
Flash took that opportunity to point it out to the whole class.
God, Peter forgot he was there. He hadn’t heard his voice on the bus on the way over and for some stupid reason Peter thought his luck was finally turning around and Flash was sick that day.
For fucks sake.
“Oh, he doesn’t need one, he’s already in the system.” The tour guide responded.
When the fuck did the tour guide arrive. Peter was so out of it today.
“Dude, I thought you’d have some special intern card or something?” Ned whispered to him.
Peter ignored him again (sorry Ned) too busy listening to his classmates walking through the scanner, followed by the sound of FRIDAY’s voice, announcing their name and status as guests.
WHY THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING THAT?!
I mean sure, Peter hadn’t entered through the main lobby before, always choosing to enter through a window or Mr Stark’s private entrance, but still. That seemed like a major security flaw.
Who decided FRIDAY reading out everyone’s names and security clearance would be a good idea? Anyone could be listening!?
Also it’s a major waste of time; they are going to be standing there forever, waiting for everyone to get through the scanner.
Peter was the last to walk through.
Typical.
He cringed as FRIDAY read out his status.
“Peter Parker, level gold, Mr Stark’s personal intern, [REDACTED].”
Why would she say redacted and not just say nothing? Now everyone knows he’s hiding something. THATS NOT INCONSPICUOUS AT ALL?!
Peter was going to have a long talk with Happy after this.
As soon as the class started walking away from the entrance, Flash turned on him.
“How did you do that Penis? We all know you’re lying and don’t actually work here. Did you hack in?”
Yes. Peter had hacked in. Multiple times actually. But for once, he wasn’t to blame.
Flag laughed at him. “Or maybe you bribed the tour guide.”
What?
“Dude, you’re always bullying me for being poor, how would I have bribed anyone?”
Flash just scoffed.
“Whatever Penis. Get ready to have your lies exposed.”
As he trotted off, Peter turned to Ned.
“Ned, I’m having a really Y fucking N coded day. I have a sudden urge to stand up to my bully and go sing ‘fight song’ on the roof.”
Ned just laughed. “Calm down Peter, I’m sure today is going to go just fine.”
Peter just chuckled nervously.
“I’m scared Ned, I don’t want May to sell me to mafia boss Harry Styles for drug money.”
“I’m not even going to question why you would think that.” Ned laughed at Peter's inner turmoil.
“Don’t laugh Ned, you know a messy bun wouldn’t compliment my brown orbs.”
-
After the tour of HR, the class was making their way to the labs.
Peter was just thinking that the start of the day was the weirdest bit, and it was starting to look up. Until he heard a noise that made him literally look up.
Clint Barton had fallen through a vent grate into the hallway where his class was.
Peter wished he had landed on him and knocked him out.
“Hi Peter!” He grinned. “Hi Peter's class!”
Peter smiled sheepishly at his class, before dragging the famous Avenger around the corner to yell at him privately.
“Clint you are a grown ass man with a wife and kids, why the fuck are you crawling around the vents like a rat?”
He just smirked and scurried back to the vent, pulling the cover on behind him, and crawling off.
Peter sighed to himself.
If the world could see Hawkeye now, they would lose all confidence and respect for the Avengers. And Peter wouldn’t blame them.
-
After a very dumb engineering competition (which Peter, Ned and MJ won) they were being led to the gym.
Apparently there was a change in plans with the tour which meant that they had to go to the Avengers personal training gym?
Because of course that was a normal thing to happen.
This wasn’t going to end well.
They followed the guide through the door anddddddd… yep there were the Avengers training.
For fucks sake why.
Peter zoned out again, breathing deeply through his nose and mouth to stop him from going up to Tony’s lab and punching him in the face. Hard.
But he was once again knocked out of his panic-attack-like-state when he heard Steve mention that the students would learn some self defense techniques, then could spar with one of them.
Flash picked Nat because of course he did and Peter was (albeit very briefly) very concerned for his safety.
(RIP flash, he would probably not be missed)
The Avengers were literally superheroes and they were going to spar with a bunch of high schoolers.
Who cares if they were going easy?!? Someone could literally die? WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS THIS FOR A SCHOOL FUCKING TRIP???????
Anyway, predictably, Flash got his ass handed to him.
Peter pitied the Stark Industries janitor who would have to scrape his remains off the floor.
That was a horrible fucking idea.
Wait… nope, he was still breathing.
What a shame…
It was at this point, that Peter dared to think the worst of thoughts: perhaps this day would end just fine?
Right on time, probably the 73rd animal themed villain Peter had seen all year, decided to burst into the tower, smashing through the window.
Out of all 50 or so windows, on 94 floors. They chose the one Peter and his class were standing behind.
When he died, Peter was going to have some serious words with whoever was running the universe. Apparently they thought his life was a piñata they could just whack and whack. Except Peter didn’t have any candy inside him. Just blood and goo and bones and stuff. Not nearly as appetizing. Unless you were like a shark or something.
Maybe he should stop comparing himself to a piñata and start worrying about the… kangaroo themed villain? Honestly at this point New York villains were just running out of animals to base themselves around.
At this point he was too tired and kind of in a mood from the day he had had so far so, in what was probably a moment of stupidity, he punched the guy in the face, sending him crashing into a wall, before webbing him up.
In front of his class.
Peter could hear a million questions being yelled in his face at once, but his brain could only focus on Flash’s.
“How on earth can Penis be Spider-Man?!”
“What did you just call my kid?” Tony Stark himself asked angrily, having appeared in the doorway that second.
Peter groaned. This was the most cliché ever, he wouldn't be surprised if Flash turned around and said: ‘I was wrong about you Peter, I’m sorry for bullying you. Let’s be best friends and slip into the sunset together.’
He could feel a little sick in his mouth at just the thought of it.
After a lot of yelling on Tony’s part (something about being banned from Stark Industries and various collages) Tony turned to Peter and assured him that he would get his whole class to sign NDAs to make sure him being Spider-Man wouldn’t get leaked.
At this point he was done.
Done with this day.
Done with life.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE NDAS GONNA DO?!?
Why had the universe forsaken him so?
What had he done in a past life to make god hate him so bad.
So he gave up. He curled up on the floor, groaning into his knees, in front of his class and the Avengers. And made plans to go to Dr Strange at some point and ask him how he could kill god.