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Language:
English
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Published:
2015-11-02
Words:
941
Chapters:
1/1
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28
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607
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91
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4,733

Grounded

Summary:

Hinata and Kageyama actually talk about their feelings and communicate

Notes:

this is basically me rejecting and coping with s2e5 because somehow it hurt more seeing it animated (i thought it wouldn't be that bad since i already went through the pain once when i read the manga but nOP DOUBLE THE PAIN)
i am sad
i just want them to kiss

based off this piece of art:
http://emuyh-art.tumblr.com/post/132362808422/emuyh-art-im-supposed-to-be-doing-my-essay

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kageyama hates himself for hurting Hinata but he was so angry and Hinata was so stubborn and everything just happened so fast and now Kageyama is sitting home alone, staring at his phone. He wants to call Hinata, he wants to apologize but he can’t bring himself to.

A part of him is terrified that Hinata doesn’t trust him anymore. A part of him feels like once Hinata is able to open his eyes, he’ll see more than the other side of the court. He’ll see that he doesn’t need Kageyama’s sets- doesn’t need Kageyama and it’s such a frightening feeling that the phone in front of him starts to blur and his chest squeezes painfully tight. He doesn’t want Hinata to open his eyes and it might be selfish of him, but he wants to keep the feeling of being needed, if only for a while longer. 

His hands tremble and reach out for something, anything, to cling to because he needs to feel grounded. He needs something to anchor him and remind him that he’s not alone anymore. He needs Hinata.

As soon as he realizes this, the chime of the doorbell floats to his ears. He hastily wipes at his eyes and pads over to the door and swings it open and then he freezes.

Hinata is standing at his door step, hands balled into fists and eyes downcast. He has his lip caught between his teeth and he looks so angry that Kageyama is scared that they’re going to fight again, tenses for it. But then Hinata just exhales. The tension bleeds from his shoulders and for the first time in a long time, Kageyama notices how small he actually is. It’s easy to forget when they’re on the court because his presence is so large and so demanding, but now he’s standing there, hunched in on himself and trembling and Kageyama wants to cry. He tries to speak, to apologize, to fix things, but Hinata beats him to it.

He whips his head up with a startling conviction, eyes wide and determined and Kageyama can see the remnants of hurt and tears smeared across his face. “I’m angry at you.”

“I know,” Kageyama’s voice is nothing but a croak but he can’t bring himself to feel embarrassed about it.

“I don’t want to rely on you anymore.” Hinata continues and Kageyama flinches. “I need- I need to get better. So we can beat Oikawa and Ushijima-“

“I’ll work on my sets.” Kageyama says quickly, the desperation seeping into his voice.

“Your sets are perfect.” Hinata is angry again. Kageyama just wants to see him smile, he’s tired. “I already told you, your sets are perfect. It’s me.

And Kageyama wants to laugh because it sounds like a break up, it’s not you it’s me. But he doesn’t laugh because it’s not funny and it feels like a breakup.

“What do you want me to do?” Kageyama asks.

“I want you to trust me.” Hinata’s voice breaks and it makes Kageyama’s eyes widen. “I want you to trust me like I trust you and I want to earn it. I want- I want to fight alongside you as equals. I don’t want you to have to carry my weight-“

“That’s not what I’m doing-“

“That’s what it feels like.” Hinata interrupts. There are tears trickling down his face, catching on the edge of the bandage. “I want to keep playing volleyball. If our quicks don’t work, what’s the point of me being on the court-“

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth and you say a lot of questionable things.” And Kageyama is angry now. He grips the collar of Hinata’s shirt and pulls him into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Hinata is gripping his wrists and trying to pry Kageyama off unsuccessfully. “Get offa me-“

“You’re important to the team.” Kageyama says, not caring that there are tears coming out of his eyes. “You’re on the team because you’re good at volleyball. I set to you because I know that you’ll be there to hit it-“

“But that’s not enough.” The grip Hinata has on Kageyama’s wrists loosens. “I want to be able to do more than just hit it. I need to grow so that our quicks are better, so that we can be partners and no one, even the great king, can stop us.”

Our.

We.

Us.

Kageyama drops his hands.

“Do you get it?” Hinata asks, his bottom lip trembling.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.” Kageyama whispers, lifting a hand to wipe at his eyes.

Hinata is silent and Kageyama refuses to meet his eyes. He startles when he feels cold fingers press to his cheek, skimming the edges of his bandaid apologetically. The small hands move to his chin and grip, forcing Kageyama to meet his eyes.

Hinata is close, so close their noses are almost touching and Kageyama can’t feel his body anymore. Can only feel the heat radiating from Hinata.

“I’m sorry.” Hinata whispers, brows pinching together as he stares at the bruise on Kageyama’s chin before his eyes drift a little to the left and land on his lips.

Kageyama moves closer, their noses bumping together now. He can feel the small puffs of Hinata’s breaths against his cheek, feels the flutter of his eyeslashes as his eyes close. “I’m sorry.” Kageyama whispers, too, pressing his lips gently to the bandage. “Does it hurt?”

Their lips press together and Kageyama starts shaking again.

Hinata holds him. Grounds him.

He can breathe again.

“Not anymore.” Hinata murmurs against his lips

 

Notes:

IM EMO

also my tumblr is :

http://yamayama--kun.tumblr.com/

i made it immediately after the car crash that was s2e5 bc i needed to cope and my followers on my personal dont appreciate my intense passion for volleyball anime