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Moving across the country was the last thing anyone would've wanted. When your parents uprooted you and moved into a completely new state, with new people you had trouble adjusting. At least for the first few weeks.
Your parents promised it would be okay, you were only 13. There was more than enough time to root yourself down in a new town.
The next-door neighbors were decent enough to help your parents settle in.
When your parents found out they had kids too they forced you to make friends with them.
You were reluctant until you realized how lucky you were. The oldest brother was Choso, he was in your grade.
Which meant when the summer came to an end you would already start the new school year with a friend.
After a few months of living in your new home, you learned that the neighbors had a secret. They weren't as perfect as you expected, they fought constantly, they were never home, and they were neglectful.
This meant the Kamo brothers came over more often. You didn't mind it, spending more time with Choso was expected. Eso was the youngest out of the three so he tagged along in hopes of impressing Choso. Kechizu didn't care, if he was included that was enough for him.
Choso was especially grateful that your parents were kind enough to let Eso and Kechizu stay over. With them all curled up in your living room on some nights. It became a normal thing for the Kamo brothers to eat dinner, clean up, and then sleep over.
It came to a point where each of the boys had a list of chores as if they had grown to be part of your family.
Naturally, as time passed you began to grow closer to Choso. After a year of living there, you spent all your time with Choso.
"What if your dad sees me in your room?" Choso held his pillow close to his body. He was worried about getting in trouble.
You admired him for trying so hard to remain respectful. But you were fourteen now so sleepovers were expected plus this was Choso. Your parents adored him. They should be glad it was Choso, your best friend sleeping in your room and not a random boy.
You had spent the last five minutes trying to convince him to come to your room. He had respected your parents far too much to ever try to sneak into your room after they had gone to bed.
"He won't trust me." You tried to reassure him. Choso wasn't believing you still.
Giving up you grabbed onto Choso, your fingers gently wrapped around his wrist. If he wanted he could've easily pulled away but he didn't.
You dragged Choso to your room. When you got inside you shut the door behind you.
He was your best friend and he had seen your room plenty of times. At this rate, your home was his too, your mother always wanted him to treat it like he would with his own home.
Choso could never do that, he always made sure to pick up fully after himself. He even had to run after Eso and Kechizu to make sure they cleaned up.
"I still think this is a bad idea." He stood in the center of your room like he had never been in it.
"Just relax," You grabbed the pillow from Choso tossing it onto the bed.
You reached out placing your arms onto his shoulders, you pushed down on them signaling for him to release the tension he had.
Choso closed his eyes momentarily as he breathed out.
Once the pressure released you smiled up at him as you patted his shoulder.
Moving away you went to grab your remote controller. "Think fast," You spoke to him. Choso turned towards your voice.
You had barely given him time to react before you tossed the controller. Choso reached out and luckily managed to grab it.
Turning on the game console you spent the night with Choso playing video games.
Somehow you were managing to win and he was getting frustrated. He blamed it on the controller then when you swapped it out for a different one he blamed it on the connection.
"Mileena wins," You cheered and Choso rolled his eyes at your excitement.
"Choso when did you become such a sore loser," You groaned as he struggled to accept defeat. You had won the third round in a row.
"You're just cheating." He huffed. You dramatically threw yourself against him. Choso didn't bother to push you off. He let you sprawl out across him.
"Face it, you just suck." You teased.
Choso ignored you and it only proved you right.
For the rest of the night, you played over and over until he got a win. But that didn't stop him, he wanted to keep going until he got a streak.
It eventually led to falling asleep while playing. Choso with the remote in his hands and you tucked under him also holding the remote.
He was meant to sleep on the floor but somehow the both of you cuddled up together on your bed.
When you woke up you were shocked to see how late in the day was. Choso immediately woke up with panic still worried that he was going to get in trouble.
So when the both of you went downstairs everyone in the house acted normal. He was confused but grateful.
Eventually, Choso spending the night in your room became a common occurrence.
This meant you were growing inseparable. Your mom still believed it was as adorable as ever. While your father wasn't too sure about having a boy in your room, he trusted Choso but still, he was a boy.
Having Choso around made your days easier. He was much more responsible than you were. Luckily that meant you had learned off of him.
When your parents were gone for the night due to work Choso would help around.
"I'm hungry," You whined as you held a hand over your grumbling stomach.
"There's food in your pantry, go eat that." He didn't bother to look up from his homework. You groaned as you dramatically threw yourself on him.
Wrapping your arms around his torso you rested your head against his back.
"It doesn't taste as good as the food you make." You complained. Choso continued to ignore you.
Listening to the sounds of his pencil writing against his paper made you realize he had no intentions of stopping.
"You're just going to let me starve?" You leaned over his shoulder. Looking at his algebra homework you rested your chin against his shoulder.
"I can help you with that,"
"You wish," He scoffed and you dramatically gasped.
"I'll have you know I passed the last test we took," You defended yourself. Choso had gone back to blocking you out so he never got to argue back.
You watched as he struggled to solve the equation. Choso tapped his pencil against his chin as he sat there silently. Unable to watch his struggle you gave in and ended up grabbing the pencil from his hand.
You came up from his side and began writing across his paper solving it. Choso sat there silently as he watched you. When you were done you handed the pencil back with a huge smile.
"Told you,"
He wanted to wipe that stupid grin off your face but he didn't. Instead, he rolled his eyes.
Choso got up from his spot and you were worried for a moment until he held out his hand for you to take.
He pulled you up onto your feet. "Still hungry?" He asked you.
"You have no clue," You sighed.
Watching as he walked into your kitchen you followed behind. You had won and he was going to cook you something to eat.
Choso didn't need your help to cook something as simple as pasta but he would never admit that.
You stood by ready and eager to hand off the next spice he needed.
While you waited for the noodles to get tender you leaned against him. Your head against his shoulder but your body flushed against his.
Whenever you were close like this to Choso he brushed it off. It must be a phase, or how you treat your other friends. Though that was a lie.
You weren't physically affectionate with your other friends, only him.
When Yuji was born a few months later and finally home from the hospital you were ready. Choso was grateful that you shared the same excitement.
"He's so cute," You gushed as you leaned over getting a better look at the newborn.
His parents took care of Yuji for a while without Choso's intervention. This only brought his hopes up even though he should've known better. But Choso was only a kid, he couldn't help but wish for a better situation.
When Yuji turned two, he had been dumped onto him. Choso was now responsible for feeding and making sure Yuji made it to school.
You promised Choso that he wasn't alone anymore and he hadn't been for a while so you could help.
He didn't want the burden of caring for his brothers to ever fall onto you but it wasn't one.
You adored Yuji, Eso, and Kechizu. They were the siblings you had never had. Just as much as you adored them, they loved you back.
Your parents understood the gravity of Choso's situation so they provided as much as they could financially. Lucky for you, your parents lived comfortably enough to provide extra care.
During this time Choso was mostly home being that it was the easiest place to care for Yuji. Despite his better interest in you staying far from his childhood home, you were there.
His parents were rarely home so it didn't matter. He mostly was embarrassed by how untidy the place was. No amount of cleaning up could undo the damage that was already there.
"My parents are cooking dinner for us." You sat down at the table beside Yuji. He had turned three a few days ago.
The remnants of his birthday party still lingered around your backyard.
"I'll pack Yuji a bag," Choso disappeared from the dining room. Yuji took a quick peek to make sure Choso was gone.
"What's wrong Yuji?" You asked the pink-haired boy.
"Big brother Choso likes you." He blurted out.
"Of course he does, we're best friends!" You smiled as you pinched his cheek. Yuji swatted your hand away and you laughed.
Choso had no intentions of going to prom and truthfully neither did you. But you didn't want to not have the experience.
If you were going to go then so was Choso. You had brought it up to him in a hypothetical at first and he immediately shut it down.
"Imagine how good we'd look. We'd win prom king and queen." You tried to convince him. But truth be told you weren't going to win anything.
You weren't popular, you just existed and that was enough for you. Choso didn't mind it either, he preferred to blend in.
"I thought you didn't want to go?" He brushed away the hair from your face. You reached up grabbing onto his hand and pulling it down to your lap.
"I didn't but I want to go with you." You gave his hand a light squeeze.
"Then let's go," Choso said softly.
You released his hand, lunging forward you threw yourself in his arms. Choso wrapped his arms around you to stop you from falling off. You breathed out relaxing into his touch.
"You can't say no to me," You grinned as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.
"Not even if I wanted to," Choso moved one arm from your waist moving it up to your hair. He gently stroked your hair as he kept you flushed against him.
You melted into his touch, clinging onto him tighter. Sometimes it seemed like being this close to him wasn't enough.
"Come down so we can take pictures," Your father shouted. Choso stood there awkwardly in the middle of your living room. If anyone had seen him, they would've assumed he had never been over before.
You had forced him to wear a suit that matched your dress. He was against it at first but you were excited and that was enough for him. The only thing he kept were his platform boots, more of a compromise.
Not that you cared, if anything you cared more for Choso in his signature style.
He even went out to get you a corsage. Choso had no clue what purpose it served but when he searched it up he found out they were commonly worn.
If they were going to do this he wanted to do it all right because you were excited.
"I'm coming," You yelled back. Your voice was a lot closer than he expected and it gave him no time to prepare himself.
Choso had seen your dress, he was there when you got it but still seeing you wear it now was different.
He wiped his sweaty palms against his pants.
You looked beautiful. He wasn't sure what he should've expected but he didn't expect this. Your mother glanced over at Choso catching his reaction but she didn't say anything.
"What's wrong? Do I look bad?" You walked over to Choso reaching out for him. He quickly shook his head.
"No, you look pretty." A red tint brushed across his cheeks. You smiled widely at his reaction.
"You look handsome yourself," You patted his suit.
Your father cleared his throat and for a moment you forgot about him. Quickly you pushed away from Choso.
"I got you a corsage." Choso held up the plastic box.
"Thank you," You breathed out as you watched Choso fumble with the box.
"I got it," You motioned for him to hand it over, and when he did your hand grazed against his. Almost out of instinct, you pulled away quickly like you had not touched him before. The box nearly fell but he was quick to react.
You mumbled an apology as you grabbed it back this time you avoided his skin. Opening it you allowed Choso to grab the corsage from the box.
He placed it onto your wrist carefully as you tried to ignore the heat from his skin.
"Perfect, now pictures." Your mother reminded you.
Choso awkwardly turned towards the camera. The distance between your bodies was uncomfortable and awkward.
No one could ever recall a time when there had been an intentional gap between you and Choso. Now it just looked weird.
Your mom motioned with her hand for you to move in. Hesitantly you shuffled closer to Choso but still out of reach.
This time she motioned for Choso to move in. He did just enough for your arms to brush against each other.
Your mother sighed and just decided to take the picture.
Until Eso decided to pitch in. Sticking his head out of the guest room he pointed at Choso.
"Stop being a little bitch and move in," He snorted. Choso's eyes went wide with horror as he stared at Eso.
"Language," Your father scolded the younger boy.
Eso mumbled a quick apology. Your father shook his head in disbelief.
Next was Yuji to the rescue. He walked over and placed himself in the awkward gap. Your mother snapped a quick photo.
Unable to resist, you bent down grabbing him. Yuji grinned brightly as you placed him onto your hip.
He must've had that plan all along because Yuji's little hand reached for Choso. Yuji grabbed you in his other, smushing the three of you together.
Your mother cooed as she snapped photos rapidly. Moving the camera in awful angles she continued.
Knowing your mother wouldn't stop unless you put an end to it you sighed. "I think we have enough," You groaned.
She sent a glare in your direction and your mouth dropped.
Choso pulled away from the hug placing a soft kiss onto the side of Yuji's head.
Yuji grinned but still clung to you tightly. Feeling the boy wrapped his arms around your neck caused you to smile.
"Is everything okay?" You gently asked as you rubbed his back.
Choso watched the interaction with a smile on his face. He was so lucky.
Your mother noticed the moment silently she brought the camera back up snapping another picture. Your father caught on and shook his head.
"M' sad." He pouted.
"Why?"
Choso came up to your side stroking Yuji's hair. You smiled up at Choso leaning into his side.
Still, your mother was catching all of this. She had an ongoing bet with your father. As of now, it looked like she was going to win, there was no way you didn't love Choso and vice versa. He stared at you like you had hung the stars but you never noticed.
The way you ran to him to tell him everything or clung to his side told her enough.
"I don't want you to leave me." He was talking about you and Choso.
"Yuji, we're not leaving you or anyone. We promise it's just for a school dance."
"Is that why you're dressed fancy?" He asked. Choso nodded his head. Yuji's smile returned.
He was just worried that you were leaving him with Choso based on your outfits. Yuji had never seen his brother dressed so formally before.
Placing Yuji back down you watched as he ran past back into the room with his brothers. It was like he had forgotten about ever being sad.
"Remember no drinking, no smoking, and no se—"
You screamed out to stop your mother from finishing her sentence. "Please don't say that," You cried out.
"We're just making sure we're on the same page here." Your father defended her.
"Trust me, we are." You didn't want to waste another second in the house. Knowing your parents they were going to start spewing out something even more embarrassing.
You grabbed Choso's hand and tugged him out of the house walking down the driveway.
Like the gentleman he was, he grabbed your door and closed it for you. He got onto his side of the car and began the drive to school.
"They have alcohol," Your attempt at whispering failed. Choso awkwardly looked around hoping no one had heard you. He gently pushed your hand down so no one would see the bottle you were holding.
"What happened to no drinking?" He asked with a grin. You waved your hand dismissively.
What would the teenage experience be with a drink?
One drink turned into a few. Even Choso ended up drinking, you clung onto him tightly as you made your way through the party. He didn't intend to drink but he wanted to have a good time too.
A night where he could just act his age. Which forced him into having to call Kechizu to pick them up.
When Kechizu arrived outside he was greeted with a slightly drunk Choso. He had never seen anything like it but he was impressed. Choso made sure you got into the car before him.
He helped you in and then buckled you into your seat. Choso went to sit up front but you stopped him. Your hand tightly gripped his blazer as you pleaded with him to stay. He looked over his brother who gave him an understanding look.
Choso wasn't nearly as drunk as you were. He was fully coherent and relaxed but he couldn't drive in this state.
"Kechizu, I'm sorry." He apologized to his brother for picking him up in this state. Kechizu waved off Choso, if Kechizu had to pick up the slack for a moment he didn't mind.
He was second oldest to Choso, only a grade below and Choso sacrificed more than he could've imagined at his age. Doing this for one night wouldn't be able to repay half of it.
"Do her parents know?" Kechizu asked him.
Choso's eyes went wide. How could he forget?
"What am I going to do?" His hands shot up to his hair as he tugged at the roots.
Your mind hadn't even wrapped around the thought of your parents finding out. You seemed completely careless and that worried him more. How could he get you past them?
If they noticed they would blame him. He could ruin the only good he had going in his life.
Your family practically took him in with his brother and now he was going to ruin it.
Though you weren't aware of the gravity of Choso's situation currently you noticed his panic. You reached over as much as you could with the seat belt and grabbed Choso's hands. Pulling them away from his face you gave him a lopsided smile.
"It's okay," You reassured him.
Choso's shoulders dropped.
"It's my fault they won't be mad at you. Even if they were they won't hate you because they like you," You let his hands slip from your hold.
"She's right, I think they like you more than her." Kechizu pointed out. You gasped at his comment.
"That's not nice," You pointed out.
"He didn't mean it," Choso gently placed his hand on your thigh. You smiled over at him before turning back to Kechizu.
Sticking your tongue at him through the mirror he playfully rolled his eyes.
For the rest of the car ride you cling onto Choso. Despite the distance, you made it work.
When the car came to a stop you groaned.
Kechizu got out first to make sure the coast was clear. When it was Choso guided you up the driveway.
Choso's hand slipped around your waist as he held you up. Leaning your body weight into him you focused on moving your legs forward.
"My work here is done." He placed the car keys on the table. Choso watched his brother slip into his room.
"We just have to get up the stairs." He reminded you.
You groaned as you felt him pull you up. With his help, he slowly guided you up the stairs taking it.
When he reached the top he felt relief, your door was the first one at the top of the staircase.
Choso went to move but his entire body had gone cold at the sound of your father's voice.
"What's going on?" He asked.
Your father was halfway across the hall standing in front of his locked bedroom.
The tone of his voice was enough to make you come to your senses. This was bad. You used all your strength to push off Choso as you stood up straight beside him.
As long as he kept his distance, he couldn't tell.
The moment he stepped forward you knew you would lose it. Now it was up to saying the right things to keep him away.
"The heels were a bad idea, I shouldn't have listened to Mom." Was the only lie you could come up with.
Your fathers narrowed his eyes as he looked between Choso and you. Without another word, he opened his bedroom door and went inside.
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Choso pushed your door open and helped you in.
The moment the warm air hit you, everything got slow again.
You kicked off your heels lazily. Choso's hands were out ready to catch you if your unsteady balance failed you.
"Help me." You struggled as you tugged at the dress.
"You sure you don't want to leave it on?" Choso hadn't thought this far.
You shook your head.
"Let me get you something to change to then." Choso knew where everything in your room was. With ease, he grabbed you a shirt and shorts to sleep in.
When he came back you turned your back so he could unzip the dress. He knew underneath you had nothing else on but undergarments.
If you weren't drunk, you would've been painfully aware but you didn't seem to care.
That didn't mean anything to him, if you weren't going to be comfortable sober then he would never take advantage of your vulnerability when you weren't.
His hands found the zipper, careful to not touch your skin he breathed in. Choso closed his eyes as he unzipped it.
You weren't focused enough to catch the dress. The sound of the dress hitting the floor startled you.
Looking around you noticed Choso standing there with his eyes covered. You couldn't help but giggle.
He ignored you forcing you to just put on the clothes he gave.
"Are you done?" He asked once he noticed the shuffling had stopped. You hummed before throwing yourself down onto the bed.
Choso reached down grabbing your dress from the floor. He draped it over your chair.
"Don't go," Your hand grabbed a fist full of his jacket. Tugging him back towards you, you poured as you stared up at him.
"I don't want your dad to think something happened." Choso didn't pull away. Instead, he stood there over you, brushing away the hair from your face.
He leaned down pressing his lips against your forehead. Would he regret that? He probably would but considering your state right now he doubted it.
You smiled as the warmth from the kiss traveled across your body.
When Choso got back up to go this time you used both hands to stop him from moving.
"I don't care what he thinks." You pouted.
"But I do,"
Not caring about what else he had to say you channeled whatever strength you had in you and pulled him.
Choso didn't fight back, not because you were currently strong enough but because he wanted to stay just as badly.
He gave in.
"I'll have to be downstairs before your dad wakes up." He felt your hands loosen but never let him go.
You stared at him wondering if he was trying to get you to fall asleep then walked out you could tell he wasn't. Letting him go you plopped your head onto your pillow.
He removed his jacket before kicking off his shoes and then pants. Choso stripped down to his last layer of clothes.
Now in boxers and a white tank top he lifted the sheets and laid down next to you. Turning over you faced him.
Despite how exhausted you were you smiled brightly as you stared at him. He looked over confused.
Without saying another word you threw yourself onto him. Your head rested against his chest while your arm wrapped around his torso.
Choso reluctantly reached up putting his arm around your body bringing you closer. The both of you had been this close before but now was different.
You cling to him desperately worried he was going to change his mind.
He wondered if you could feel his heart pick up speed. At any second he felt like it was going to explode out of his chest.
Your eyes were heavy as you looked at him. You were fighting sleep from the long night but even then you didn't want to fall asleep.
In the morning you wouldn't be laying in his arms anymore and you didn't want that.
You wanted to lay here with him forever even with how unrealistic that was. There was no one you felt safer with than Choso. With your cheek smushed against his chest, you opened your mouth to speak.
The words slurred out but he didn't stop you. Your eyelids were growing heavier and harder to keep open.
"I l—" Was all that you managed to say before sleep consumed you.
Choso's entire body had gone rigid. He tilted his head down but he couldn't see your face. From the way your body was rising with each breath told him you had fallen asleep.
He must've been going insane. He was imagining things, you hadn't even said a full word so it was his mind playing tricks on him. Especially when you weren't even aware of what you were saying in your state.
Choso knew it was best to not dwell on it so he gave in. Letting the sleep take him but not once did he bother to move from holding you.
The summer before you would leave was something Choso dreaded for months.
How was he going to survive without you? The both of you were practically conjoined at the hip by now. Where he went you followed and where you would go he was trailing behind.
He was sure you felt the dread of leaving him behind because you wouldn't leave his side either. Choso had fully moved in at the beginning of summer.
If he even so much as left to pick up something next door you would go with him. Choso didn't like you coming into his home for obvious reasons but you couldn't.
With Choso being around 24/7 his brothers were too. They had made a permanent residence inside your parent's guest room.
Eso and Yuji slept curled up on the bed while Kechizu slept on the pull-out mattress.
On some nights Yuji would come crawling into your room snuggling between Choso and your body.
At first, Choso worried you found the younger boy annoying but he was glad when you didn't. You found it endearing that Yuji was so attached to Choso, even to you.
Though it made you heartache, Yuji was never around his parents and it seemed like all he truly knew was Choso.
He had just turned eighteen yet he had taken full responsibility for a kid during his teenage years.
Yuji leaned over to get a better look at Choso. He was fully asleep. The sound of the air leaving his chest was the only noise that filled the room.
You watched carefully as the pink-haired boy laid back down. He leaned closely into your side.
"Big brother Choso's been sad."
Brushing away his bangs you hummed. "Do you know why?" You spoke softly.
"I think it's because you're going away," Yuji said sadly. You reached out moving your arm, permitting Yuji to come closer. He thought about it for a moment before caving in.
Yuji scooted into your space, his small body sandwiched up against you. "I'm sad too," He mumbled against the fabric of your pajamas.
"I'll be back before you even notice I'm gone." You reassured him.
You couldn't tell him you were just as sad, not wanting to leave Choso or the Kamo brothers. Yuji sniffled and you hadn't even realized he was tearing up until now.
Tightly you hugged Yuji as he clung to you. Not wanting to fall asleep and miss on the moment you held onto him until he drifted asleep.
"You sure you got everything?" Your mom had been stalling all day. Trying to find anything that could hold you back from going. She was having trouble with sending her only child away for College.
The thought of you being a few hours away was too much for her to handle.
Choso spent the day reassuring her that you were going to be okay. Eventually, it turned into him trying to convince himself. Though he would never admit it.
He was going to miss you more than he could ever possibly imagine. When he decided to stay behind and watch out for Eso and Kechizu until they were done with High School it was a sacrifice.
Not just because he wouldn't get to see you but for himself. That meant he had to endure his parents for a little longer. Only because he couldn't leave his brothers to fend for themselves.
Especially Yuji, he was barely five now and Choso couldn't leave with that on his conscious.
Yuji ran up to you, needing to say goodbye just as badly as the rest of the Kamo brothers.
"Promise not to forget me?" Yuji held out his pinky. You bent down to his level. "How could I ever forget you?" You smiled wide at the boy.
You hooked your pinky with his smaller one. Yuji was unable to even finish the pinky promise. Not able to fight it a second longer he nearly jumped into your arms.
He tightly wrapped his arms around your neck nearly strangling you. You yelled in surprise at his strange strength.
Wrapping your arms around his small frame you squeezed Yuji tight. Choso watched the exchange and he couldn't help but smile.
His heart fluttered whenever he watched you interact with his brothers. You had such a deep admiration when it came to them and he couldn't be more grateful.
You were everything Choso could have ever hoped for. How could he be so lucky? If he came clean to you today would you care? Would that change everything?
He couldn't afford it. Choso was going to have the bury it deep down and pretend his feelings didn't exist.
Yuji pulled away from you and that's when you noticed the corners of his eyes were glistening. You kissed his forehead before standing back and ruffling the top of his head.
He giggled as he reached up to swat your hands away.
"I think Yuji is going to steal you away from me." Choso leaned into you. He draped his arms around your shoulders. You leaned into his touch grabbing onto his arms to stabilize you.
"You should act fast because he might win." You teased. Choso groaned as he pulled away. You subconsciously found yourself reaching into the space for him.
"I don't want to go." You nuzzled your face into his chest. With your arms wrapped so tight around his waist he wondered if you were doing it on purpose. Did you know his heart fluttered whenever you got so close? Were you mocking him?
He wanted to be selfish and beg for you to not leave him alone. But he bit his tongue.
Choso had chosen this for himself. But just this once he wanted to be selfish, run off, and leave it all behind but for the sake of his brothers it couldn't be today.
Maybe in a while when he had a stable job, a home for them to live in, where they would be set for life. Then he could finally be selfish and run off but even then he knew he couldn't.
Choso could never leave his family behind.
"You'll be back before you know it." Choso rested his chin on the top of your head. You smiled as you breathed in his scent, he had been wearing the same cologne for the last few years.
It was the one you had picked out for him. He never bothered to even look at another one.
"But I don't want to leave you." You admitted.
You were doing this on purpose was all he could think. Choso's grip on you tightened monetarily but you didn't notice.
"We're going to be late, don't you want to pick your bed?" Your father reminded you. He was standing by the car, leaning over the roof of it. Your mother was already inside.
The entire car was packed to the brim and it made you question could even fit inside.
Choso was the one to pull away first and not because he wanted to. He looked down at you, cupping your face in his hands. You reached up your hand lingering over him.
He pressed a soft kiss into the top of your forehead. You closed your eyes replying to the moment for a second longer.
"Don't forget me,"
"You're so dramatic." He teased.
What he wanted to say was how could he? But he couldn't say that.
"I mean it," You pulled away from Choso. He watched as you made it towards your father's car. Choso didn't move from his spot until the car left his view.
When you came back in November you weren't alone. Choso's heart dropped the moment he saw you come out of the car alone. A man with white hair was practically wrapped around you.
Where you went he followed behind, it was like you were inseparable. Seeing it reminded him of how you were with him. Had he been replaced already?
The entire week was torture.
He had to sit there silently during Thanksgiving while you sat beside your boyfriend. Choso pretended it was fine but he couldn't stand Satoru. He was obnoxious and didn't know when to shut up.
Halfway through the dinner, Choso had gotten up. He couldn't sit there and watch the way he flirted with you. Satoru had to have been doing it on purpose. There was no other explanation.
You excused yourself to go after Choso.
"What's wrong?" You asked him.
He didn't respond. You went to reach forward to grab him but you stopped yourself.
Retracting your hand you brought your arm close to your body.
"I'm sorry," You excused yourself. Leaving Choso in the kitchen alone again. You blamed yourself for something you couldn't pinpoint.
When you sat back down beside Satoru he noticed you had gone silent. "Is everything okay?" He asked you quietly.
You didn't know why you were so worked up over Choso.
"Yeah," You lied to Satoru giving him your best smile.
He had bought it and you felt disappointed. If it were Choso you knew he would've noticed but Satoru wasn't Choso.
Satoru didn't know you the way Choso did. No one would know you the way he does.
Back at school, you had learned to come to terms that maybe you had moved too fast with Satoru.
He was a good friend just not someone you thought you should've dated.
"Suguru is coming over," Satoru leaned over pressing a kiss onto the side of your head. You gave him a soft smile acknowledging his words.
Being with Satoru was exhausting and you couldn't pinpoint why.
It wasn't like he had changed much since you began dating him. How did he suddenly feel overwhelmed?
His personality was the reason you believed you were interested in him. Why was it now the breaking point?
Whenever Satoru did anything you found yourself comparing him back to Choso. It had to have been your homesickness. That was the only explanation.
So when it did happen you brushed it off and did your best to bury the guilt.
Burying the guilt meant you reached out less to Choso. Your daily calls became weekly, and then suddenly they almost stopped.
The only reason he could justify the lack of communication was because of Satoru even though it was far from it.
When you came back for Winter break you were alone again.
You worried because of the distance things would be different but it was like none of that happened.
Choso had finally gotten his own apart, his brothers with him too. He couldn't thank your parents enough for all they had done.
With you in his room silently laying there with him. Choso was afraid of mentioning the white-haired man. He didn't want to say anything wrong and accidentally come off as jealous. So he was silent until you said something.
You lay there on your bed with your head against Choso's chest listening to the sound of his heart beating.
"He cheated on me." You blurted out. Choso's hand that was stroking your back froze.
"I caught him with his best friend. I just wish he told me how he felt about him, I would've understood." Your eyes welled up with tears. Unable to stop them they flew out staining Choso's shirt.
What did you mean by that? You would've understood Satoru? Did you understand Satoru's feelings for his best friend?
"He didn't deserve you." He wrapped his arms around you pulling you closer as if it were possible.
You cried even harder and you couldn't explain why. When you caught Satoru with Suguru you weren't even sad. You weren't even shocked.
A fool would've noticed the way Satoru looked at Suguru. There was something there but you pretended there wasn't for your own sake. You didn't want to be alone and Satoru was convenient.
You were such a horrible person. The relationship ended on good terms even after you caught him. Satoru apologized profusely promising he would do anything for you to not hate him. Even if it meant going cold with no contact, he could promise you would never see his face again if you wanted that. But you didn't.
You were okay with seeing Satoru around. You were oddly calm and Satoru had pieced it together himself yet he didn't say anything. It wasn't his place to say something about what he had done.
Though with a solid ending with Satoru, you were still sobbing to Choso.
You leaned into Choso's touch as you soaked in his warmth.
Choso had no intentions of moving away and you didn't either. Your hands grabbed onto the extra fabric around his waist. Without a second thought, you leaned forward.
His entire body went rigid but he didn't pull away. He must've been dreaming because there was no way this was happening.
Choso leaned in meeting you the rest of the way. The moment his lips touched yours he melted into you. Your hands flew up grabbing the back of his neck to bring him closer.
Tugging at the loose hairs that had fallen. Choso swiped his tongue against your bottom lip making you part your lips just slightly.
Choso wasn't sure what he had imagined but it wasn't this.
He had played out kissing you hundreds of times but none of them were like this. Nothing could've prepared him for the way his stomach had flipped or how conscious he became.
Choso wanted to make sure you were feeling the way he did but he worried pulling away would change things. What if you regretted kissing him? Choso could handle being your second choice. He couldn't handle not being in your life if that was what you wanted.
As the kiss deepened you lifted yourself off the bed and made your way onto his lap. Choso’s hands steadily held onto your hips.
When your hand traveled down his chest you caught yourself. You had finally realized what you were doing.
You were kissing your best friend. Instantly you pulled away as if his touch had burned you.
"I'm sorry," You pushed away from Choso. Your hands went up to your face. Blocking you from him so he couldn't look any longer.
Choso didn't know what to do. Had he done something wrong? Could he move to comfort you or had he burned that bridge by kissing back?
You felt like a wreck. Not even an hour ago you were crying against Choso over Satoru and now again? Would he think he was just a rebound? A second choice? Choso was none of those things but how would he think of you now?
He didn't care if he was the fifth choice, having you would be enough for him.
Choso reached out fighting against what his brain was telling him. He pulled your hands away so he could see you, all of you and you allowed him.
He stared down at you debating if the words sitting at the tip of his tongue were worth saying.
So much could go wrong by saying them but if you needed him to he would bury those words if you asked.
You stared at him at a loss for words. Choso had seen all of you, the embarrassing, and even the ugly. What more could be left?
"I love you," He breathed out. The words came out easily almost as if he had said them hundreds of times.
But he had, he had shown you he did. Through his little interactions. With the way he listened to you speak or how he still bothered to cut the edges off your toast. Even the way memorize the orders to your favorite places. Choso was in love with you and he had been for years.
Your silence worried him.
He didn't need you to say it back but he needed some other reaction.
You knew what Satoru had meant now. You were an idiot for not realizing sooner for him being the one to notice.
It all made sense. Your lack of response to Satoru and Suguru was because you didn't care about him romantically. This entire time you were so hung up on Choso to even realize.
Satoru had explained to you that your relationship with him wasn't romantic. Despite the label you never did anything besides peck in the lips. It was obvious to anyone that both of your minds were preoccupied by something else.
You had loved Choso for as long as you could remember. Before today or yesterday. Even before you left for College or before High School.
Every dream you had always included him. Living in your apartment included Choso. Growing old included Choso too.
"I love you too," You confessed.
Instead of meeting his eye, you looked down at your lap, your hands clenched around the fabric of his shirt. He grew worried, and his hands reached out for you.
"I have for a long time." You began.
"So have I," He reassured you. You shook your head as you fought back the tears.
The guilt was eating away at you. Choso frowned.
"I don't want you to think I'm here because of Satoru. I love you, Choso. I've only ever loved you." You paused as you tried to gather the courage to continue.
Choso stoked your arm gently as he waited patiently.
"So please don't think of me any differently." You pleaded. Choso's eyes softened, he opened his arms, and wasting no time you threw yourself in them.
Choso grabbed you tightly holding you close to his body. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like shit. These past few months. I was just scared." You were scared you loved Choso. Now that you look back it seemed like a joke.
How could you be scared to love Choso?
"It's okay," He reassured you with a smile.
His kindness was one of the things you loved about him.
"We're here now, aren't we?" He rested his chin against your shoulder.
"I guess so," You smiled.