Chapter Text
“Fatin Jadmani to the principal’s office please.”
Leah watched as the popular girl rolled her eyes before gathering her things. Fatin had never done anything to her personally, but her phone often went off in class and her inability to sit still was distracting. So, Leah thought that it was fair for her to be relieved in the fact that Fatin wouldn’t-
“Sorry, can you send down Leah Rilke as well?”
Leah huffed in annoyance. This was a particularly tricky psychology lesson and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to live off of the half assed notes of her classmates. Still, she obliged as she didn’t have a choice, barely catching up to Fatin as she left.
Fatin didn’t wait, not that Leah was expecting her to. However, she was fast paced and walked with more confidence than someone who spent the entire journey texting should be.
While uncertain on what exactly she was getting called down for, she was pretty sure it wasn’t for the same thing as Fatin Jadmani. She expected that the other girl had missed one too many classes or maybe even gotten caught fucking some guy in the stairwell. She had heard all of the rumours about Fatin and while she didn’t usually listen to gossip, there were too many stories about the girl for them to all be false.
The two continued to ignore each other even in the otherwise empty waiting area outside of their principal’s office; Fatin on her phone and Leah picking at whatever clothing or skin she could reach. Not that Leah was expecting a conversation, but anything to distract her would’ve been nice.
Finally, Dr. Klein, their principal, called them in. Together.
Strange.
“Ms. Jadmani, Ms. Rilke. I’m sure you both know why I’ve called you in today.” Leah stared blankly and continued pulling at the new thread she had found on her cardigan.
“Not really.” Fatin shrugged with a similar bored expression. Leah wished she could be as careless as Fatin seemed at that moment. It made sense - Fatin was probably here all the time for whatever shit she got into. God, Leah hoped this wasn’t going to be one of those charity situations where she was meant to reform Fatin or something like that.
“Oh.” Dr. Klein seemed surprised, but quickly let a beaming smile take over her face instead as she leaned forward, resting her elbows against her desk before spilling the news she seemed so excited over. “Then I’m thrilled to be the one to inform you that you are both potential candidates for valedictorian! Congratulations!”
Dr. Klein kept staring at them with the same excited eyes, as if she expected that the two would soon be happily jumping out of their chairs. Leah should be jumping for joy. All those late nights spent cramming before a test, hours of pouring herself into essays, and days spent in libraries doing homework were going to pay off. Instead, Leah stilled. That one defining word echoing in her head.
Both.
Her and Fatin were both on track for valedictorian?
“Of course this means that you are also both possible candidates for our annual Dawn of Eve scholarship. Traditionally, the scholarship goes to the valedictorian as long as all conditions are met.”
Right, the scholarship Leah was working towards her entire high school career. She was already on a partial scholarship to go to this school and part of why she chose it was for the said scholarship. It was one of the best readily available grants she had access to and she fully intended to win it. Apparently, the only thing standing in her way now was one of the richest kids in school.
By then, Dr. Klein had moved on to praising them for their hard work. Fatin still had a vacant expression on, seemingly unfazed by what was happening. If anything, she seemed bored by the conversation. How could Leah be tied with that?
“I’m sorry. We’re both in the running? You’re sure?” Leah interrupted Dr. Klein’s speech. She didn’t mean to be rude, but she couldn’t hold in her concerns any longer.
“Yes, your cumulative GPAs are tied to the thousandth decimal point. It’s quite remarkable, really. I surely haven’t seen it in my many years as principal.”
“How is that possible?” Fatin finally showed an emotion other than boredom at Leah’s question: offence. Leah didn’t care about that right now, though. She had worked her ass off the past three and a half years for her 4.892 GPA. She found it hard to believe that Fatin Jadmani - known party girl and slut - had somehow put in the effort to earn a GPA anywhere close to hers.
Dr. Klein took out the files for the two girls in front of her, quickly glancing through each page. “While the two of you haven’t had many similar classes, it seems that all of your grades so far have been relatively the same: an A plus for you in Creative Writing was an A plus for Fatin in Music Theory, an A minus in History versus Biology I, so on and so forth. Really, this upcoming semester will determine who will be valedictorian and who will be salutatorian.”
“What if we get the exact same grades again?” Fatin asked. It was the first time she expressed interest in the conversation.
“Then the positions will be voted on.” Fatin’s eyebrows furrowed together.
“We wouldn’t, like, share the valedictorian title?”
“No, that’s not how things are done in this school; we couldn’t split the scholarship. Instead, a council composed of teachers, students, and myself will discuss who deserves the title more based on extracurriculars, community involvement, and overall performance.” That seemed extra as fuck to Leah and Fatin’s single raised eyebrow showed that she thought the same.
“I see… And there’s nobody else who could be valedictorian?”
“Correct. Nobody else’s grades are high enough to be able to get to your GPA in only one semester. Of course, this is assuming that neither of you fail a class.” Dr. Klein smiled at them like they should be happy about this situation. Like this was something to celebrate. “Well, the bell will ring in a few minutes. Why don’t you two enjoy an early dismissal? You’ve earned it.”
Leah had so many more questions. It’s not like she didn’t have any idea that being valedictorian was a possibility for her - her GPA was high and she was proud of it. She was actually kind of working towards this her entire life. She just never imagined having to share this moment with Fatin Jadmani, of all people.
It still didn't make sense. There was no way, absolutely zero chance, that Fatin could be on her level.
Then it clicked.
“So I guess this is the part where we become mortal enemies and battle to the death,” Fatin said with a smirk on her face.
“Your parents pay for your grades,” Leah said. It wasn't a question, but a statement. Something that Leah just knew had to be true.
“Excuse me?” Fatin’s smirk quickly dropped into a frown.
“Either that or you’re, like, fucking some nerd who does all your homework or changes your grades or something.” Yeah, that had to be it. Leah didn’t know much about Fatin, but she did know that her parents were filthy rich and that she’d slept with half of the Bay area.
“What? That literally makes no sense.”
Leah scoffed. “So what? I’m just supposed to believe that you have a 4.892 GPA? Yeah right. I saw you spell ‘behaviorism’ wrong last week.”
“I’ll have you know, I went to the state spelling bee three years in a row in middle school. I am very capable of earning my own grades.” Fatin’s hands waved in front of Leah’s face as the shorter girl approached her. The fierce glare in her eyes was one that Leah often saw directed at others, but made her cower when it focused on her. Still, Leah refused to back down. She had worked her ass off for years for this and was not about to let it go for Fatin fucking Jadmani.
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Leah herself had never made it past regional competitions. She doubted Fatin had even placed in her younger years.
“I don’t have time for this,” Fatin mumbled. Fatin turned and began hastily walking away. Leah couldn’t let her have the last word.
“This is ludicrous! ”
Fatin stopped, then faced Leah and stared her dead in the eyes. “Ludicrous. L-U-D-I-C-R-O-U-S. Ludicrous.”
Fatin turned for a final time and flipped Leah off as she walked away.
~~~
Leah stretched her arms above her head and cracked her neck as she finally decided to call it a night. She didn’t feel like going home after the conversation Dr. Klein had with her and Fatin. Instead, she isolated herself from the outside world and sat in the back corner booth of one of the many cafes she frequented.
It was already a couple hours later than she would usually stay out to study. She felt like she was distracted the entire time, though, her mind always wandering back to one Fatin Jadmani.
That’s why she wasn’t exactly pleased to see the girl walk through the cafe doors just as Leah had finished packing up.
Out of all the days that Fatin could have come in, it had to be today. Seriously? Leah had basically never talked to or seen Fatin before a few hours ago and now it was like she was there wherever Leah looked. It was infuriating.
Fatin hadn’t seen her yet, despite them being two of the five customers in the cafe. Leah took the opportunity to watch Fatin. She wasn’t sure how long she just stared as Fatin took out her textbooks, notebooks, and laptop. It almost seemed like she was actually studying, but Leah knew better.
“What are you doing?” Leah hadn’t even registered her actions, only cluing in as she stood at the edge of Fatin’s booth.
Fatin pulled out an earbud, but didn’t look at Leah as she answered. “I’m studying. As someone with a near perfect GPA, I assumed you could figure that out for yourself.” Leah huffed in annoyance.
“Don’t be a bitch.”
“Don’t treat me like a child.”
“Come on, I just wanna know why? Or- or how? Did you follow me here or something?” Fatin still refused to spare as much as a glance at Leah.
“I actually come here weekly so you’re the one who’s out of place.” That caught Leah off guard. While she wasn’t here weekly, she was here monthly and yet she had never seen Fatin, but there was no indication of deceit in Fatin’s tone nor expression.
“I’ve never seen you here.”
“I come late - cello practice and all that. I stay until they close.” Leah had heard that Fatin was in music and quite good at it. Although, she had never heard her play. Surely she was shit at it.
“Don’t they close at nine?”
“Mmhm.” Nothing was making sense to Leah. This conversation was just as confusing as the one with Dr. Klein.
“You're expecting me to believe that you actually sit here every Monday for four hours to study?”
Fatin finally looked at Leah, her pencil thumping against her notebook as she let it fall. Leah took a small step back, hating how the now familiar glare still affected her. “It’s not just Mondays; Tuesdays and Thursdays, too. Wednesday is full orchestra rehearsal and that tends to run long. Fridays I volunteer at the hospital, but if my shift ends early I’ll come here after.”
Leah wanted to find a fault in the story, but couldn’t think of any. Instead, she thought about the familiarity between Fatin and the staff as they interacted. How her order was quickly set at her booth despite never ordering. How upclose, Fatin’s eyes - while mostly covered in makeup - reflected the tiredness of someone who often lost hours of sleep to assignments. Eyes that often stared back at Leah when she looked at herself in the mirror.
Leah couldn’t admit that, though.
“I don’t believe you.” The lie came out weak, even to Leah’s own ears. Fatin let out a humoured scoff as she turned back to her homework.
“You don’t have to believe me, but feel free to stay as long as you want. Just do me a favour and don’t talk as much - I’m not used to studying around people.”
“What do you even have to study for? Isn’t the entirety of music just seven notes?” They both knew it was a low blow that held no substantial evidence. So much so, that Fatin just ignored it completely.
“The AP Calc test on Friday.”
“As if you’re in AP Calc. That shit’s crazy hard.” Leah steered clear of all things math, dropping every STEM course the second she could. Still, the test date agreed to the date her friend Nora, who was also in the class, was studying for.
Fatin just shrugged, glancing at Leah for only the second time that evening. “Math and music go hand in hand.”
Leah didn’t say anything in response. Truthfully, she would have if she had any other arguments to make. But she didn’t. Fatin rebuked all of them.
Leah didn’t stick around any longer, simply leaving without a goodbye to her academic counterpart.
~~~
“Who spit in your cereal?”
Leah’s face scrunched up in disgust at Rachel’s way of asking her if she was okay. It was the day after she found out about being tied for valedictorian. Leah sat with her usual group of friends for lunch and had spent a good ten minutes sulking and feeling sorry for herself.
“Fatin Jadmani. Did you guys know that she’s apparently super smart?”
Neither twin looked surprised at this information.
“Yeah, she has the highest mark in my AP Calc class,” Nora said, still doodling in the margins. “She helped me learn vectors last month.”
“What?”
“She taught me a whole unit in grade ten Physics. I wouldn't have passed without her,” Rachel added.
“Am I actually the only one who didn't know?”
“Wait, Rilke, you seriously didn't know? I thought you were competitive with this academic stuff. Knowing your competition is winning 101,” Rachel said. Leah frowned.
“I know Nora and Shelby.”
“That’s not enough.” Rachel shook her head. “Why do you suddenly care, anyways?”
Leah groaned, the conversation she couldn't seem to let go of playing through her head once again. “Fatin’s tied with me for highest average. Now, Dr. Klein wants us to ‘battle it out’ for valedictorian.” Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but Leah quickly cut her off. “Not that kind of battle.”
Rachel huffed. “It’s never the fun kind of battle.”
Leah ignored her friend as a new thought occurred to her. “Why aren’t you on the roster for valedictorian?” Leah asked the quieter twin. Nora was just as brilliant as Leah, the two often at the top of their mutual classes.
“I get consistent C’s in physical education.” Nora shrugged, completely unbothered by the fact that she would crush Leah and Fatin if not for the class. She took it for Rachel, though, and had no regrets over it.
“Oh.”
“What happens if you two get the same marks again?” Nora asked.
“A vote. Dr. Klein wants to make sure we’re ‘well rounded’ and ‘role-models in the community.’ I’m not too scared of that, to be honest. Who would choose Fatin over me?”
“I would,” Rachel said, without missing a beat. Leah and Nora stared at her for a few seconds, but Rachel showed no remorse. “What? I would. Leah didn’t spend a week teaching my dumb ass the five equations of motion.”
“That’s because every time I tried you-”
“Interrupted you, I know.” Leah rolled her eyes at Rachel’s cheeky grin. The athlete knew what she was doing and loved to torture her.
“No offense, Leah, but I’d choose her too.” That Leah was surprised by. She assumed Rachel would do anything to piss her off, but Nora too?
“Okay, what the fuck?”
“Sorry, but from an outsider’s perspective, Fatin does have more credentials than you. If her grades really are the same as yours, then obviously she’s intelligent. She also has all of her music extracurriculars and she tutors other students.” Nora didn't mean anything she said in a bad way and Leah knew that. Still, the realization that she might actually lose valedictorian to Fatin had hit her like a tidal wave.
Leah must have taken too long to respond, because Rachel lightly elbowed her twin as she scolded her.
“She’s joking,” Rachel said, trying to fix whatever mood Leah had slipped back into.
“No, she’s right.” Leah groaned and allowed her head to hit the table. Even without seeing them, she knew that the twins had both flinched as her forehead connected to the cool metal. “I’m going to lose to fucking Fatin Jadmani.”
“There, there,” Rachel said after a pause in their conversation. Her hand awkwardly patted Leah’s shoulder.
“Anyone would be happy to have you on top of them,” Nora casually said. Rachel and Leah blinked at her. Nora often told dirty jokes, but the surprise factor from them never went down.
Leah loved her friends, but they really sucked at consoling her.
“Alright, Rilke, enough suffering,” Rachel said. Leah rolled her eyes but lifted her head nonetheless. “There you go! You’re not gonna beat Fatin with your head in your hands.”
“I’m not gonna beat Fatin at all.”
“Not with that attitude, you can’t!” Leah glared at the sporty twin.
“What she means is that we’re always on your side,” Nora said, “We’ve got you.”
“Yeah, Leah, you have us no matter what.”
She couldn't help but smile at her best friends. Maybe they weren’t the absolute worst at comforting.
~~~
Leah had managed to successfully avoid Fatin for two weeks.
It wasn't hard - the only class they had together was AP Psychology and they didn't have any common friends except maybe Shelby, but she was friends with everyone and thus, didn't count. Besides, she was pretty sure that Fatin was avoiding her too.
But here, in the hell that was Academics Night, Leah felt it was only inevitable. Especially since her parents insisted that they talk to Dr. Klein at the same time that Fatin’s parents were there.
The parents spent some time sharing greetings and pleasantries she was sure nobody cared about. At first, Leah tried to avoid Fatin’s gaze. Then she realized the other girl wasn’t even looking at her. She was just staring at nothing in particular, not entirely there. Her expression remained vacant as their parents continued talking.
“What does Leah want to do for college?” Leah tuned back into the parents’ conversation as she heard her name. Although she wished she didn't. College was something she unwillingly thought about frequently. She had gotten accepted easily, but changes were unavoidable and she wasn't sure if she was as prepared as she previously assumed she’d be.
“She’ll be studying Literature at New York University, and Fatin?”
“Such an appropriate choice, congrats.” Leah managed a slight smile at Fatin’s dad, but didn't miss that Fatin’s expression still remained unchanged. “Fatin will be studying at Duke University for pre-med.”
“Not for music?” It was the first time either of the students had spoken up all night. Leah couldn't help it, though. Even if she had never heard her play, she knew that Fatin practiced often, if the schedule she revealed to Leah told her anything. It was strange to her that the girl would dedicate so much of her time into something she didn’t want to pursue in life.
“No, no.” Fatin’s parents laughed lightheartedly. It didn't feel lightheaded to Leah. “Fatin will study something more practical. The cello was a childhood fantasy that she grew a little too attached to. It’s time to grow up and she knows it.”
Suddenly, the smiles the Jadmanis had put on the entire night felt less welcoming and more aggressive. Suffocating. When Leah looked at Fatin again, she found that the girl still stood with dead eyes and a blank expression. It was a lot more chilling now, though.
“That’s wonderful! You must be so proud,” Leah’s dad said.
“Yes, we noticed the hefty envelope she picked up.” Leah’s mom remarked the personalized envelope each student got with an array of certificates and awards. Stuff like honour roll, best in class, or placements in competitions. Leah herself got something in most of her classes, it was only natural to assume Fatin did as well.
“Fatin has been doing adequately. Bar the cello, we are satisfied with everything she has done.”
Everyone else nodded like that was a perfectly normal thing to say. Leah watched Fatin show emotion for the first time that night as she cowered into herself, just slightly, unnoticeable to anyone else who wasn’t watching.
Shortly after, the families separated to mingle with others. To Leah, this was always the worst part of her year. She felt like some trophy her parents were showing off. It didn't take long for Leah to leave her parents and escape to the washroom, only to run into the girl she was trying to avoid.
“Your parents are dickheads,” Leah said once she realized who was occupying the sink area. When Fatin turned to her, she was surprised to see silent tears rolling down her face. Breakdowns at these events weren't uncommon - they were basically mandatory - but Leah never thought that Fatin would be the type.
(Then again, after listening to her parents, she was kind of surprised that Fatin hadn’t broken down on the spot).
“What are you doing here?”
“Nothing.” Leah held up her hands defensively. “Probably the same thing as you, actually. I needed a break from the mess out there.”
Fatin sighed as she wiped the last of her tears from her face. It was heavy and filled with the emotions Leah hadn't seen from her earlier that night. “This night just makes everyone miserable, and that’s coming from us: the two people everybody else gets compared to. It’s a wonder why Dr. Klein keeps holding this event.”
“Just another piece of evidence for her psychopathic tendencies. Our psych class should do a study on her.” Fatin laughed, genuinely giggled, at Leah’s comment.
Leah wasn't sure why it felt good to make someone she hated feel better. Maybe it was because above all, Leah’s gay panic always won - even over her academically competitive side. Or maybe it was because seeing Fatin in this state with makeup running down her face and a sad expression in her eyes, Leah finally understood Fatin was more than just a pretty face. That Fatin, just like Leah, was doing everything she could to survive, even if it meant losing herself in the process.
“I’m really sorry about how I reacted the other week,” Leah said, the words coming out before she had a chance to hold back. Fatin just waved her off as she began to fix her makeup.
“It’s cool, I get it-”
“But I was such a cunt to you.”
“I know, but it’s fine. Really, we don’t have to do this entire apology thing. We can just forget tonight and what happened in Dr. Klein’s office and then whatever happens on graduation day, happens.” Fatin made eye contact with Leah through the mirror. “‘I don't owe you anything, you don't owe me anything.’”
Leah furrowed her eyebrows together. “Is that from The Good Place?"
“Great, you’re familiar with the show. Just pretend we’re in that fucked up experiment and our memories were erased.” Fatin popped her lips together as she finished the last of her makeup. It was like nothing had even happened. “I’ll see you around, Rilke.”
With that, Leah was left alone in the washroom. It took her longer than she’d like to admit before she finally tore her eyes from the door Fatin disappeared behind.
It was going to be a long time to graduation.