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“I made a wish once,” says Yongbok, his gaze faraway.
Minho cannot speak. His heart is in his throat, his eyes are steadily getting blurrier. He does not dare to reach out and touch Yongbok in case he disappears.
“They say dreams come true to those who truly want them,” says Yongbok. He smiles, finally, his face containing the exact bruises and cuts that Minho had not so long ago. “And I wanted. So I wished.”
Minho opens his mouth. Whispers. “Yongbok…”
“I kept wishing,” says Yongbok. He seems entirely at peace. Minho blinks back tears. “But they never came true, hyung. I wished for us to be happy again, together again. I wished for everything. I wished and wished and wished but every time I opened my eyes, nothing had changed.”
Minho does not know exactly what Yongbok is talking about, but he thinks he has an idea. Half formed images from a world that is not the one he is living and breathing in. Dream-like sequences of scenes in his head, of laughter and banter and bickering and fights…
“Then one day,” says Yongbok, “I just wished to be able to see you guys happy again. Just one last time. Happy. Especially you.”
“Why?” says Minho, still whispering.
Yongbok smiles. “Because you deserve to be happy, hyung. You don’t deserve to be hurt.”
“Yongbok, please…”
“And when I opened my eyes, I was… here. Where you were, asleep and peaceful, after so long. I was here, in a world where I am not supposed to be.”
“Don’t,” says Minho. “Don’t-”
“I knew I was on borrowed time. I knew I was fading when Hyunjin seemed to not be able to remember my name. And then not be able to see me at all.”
“I do,” says Minho. “I see you. I remember you. I remember your name, Yongbok. Please, please-”
“You won’t for long,” sighs Yongbok and when he leans back on his arms, tilting his face up towards the sky, there are tears on his face but no sorrow. “Your memories of me will fade just as everyone else’s did.”
“Don’t leave,” says Minho. His voice cracks on a sob and he falls to his knees. He still does not reach for Yongbok but he begs on his knees. “Don’t leave me.”
“Don’t worry,” says Yongbok, softly. “It won’t hurt.”
That’s-
That’s worse.
“I want it to hurt,” spits out Minho. Suddenly, inexplicably, he is angry. He is furious. “You think you can just take all my scars and leave me?”
“I am,” says Yongbok, words still soft and easy. “And it’s not in my control. It’s all good now, hyung. It will be okay.”
“Where are you going?”
“Back. I think. I am not sure. I am just happy you are happy.”
Distant cries reach Minho’s ears. Cries of his own name, multiple voices calling for him.
“You are happy,” says Yongbok. He shuts his eyes, as if waiting for the end. Minho shudders and gets to his feet again but stays frozen at his spot, unable to do anything. He knows Yongbok is fading; he knows his memories of Yongbok are fading. He can feel them slipping like sand through the cracks between fingers. “You are the only one who remembered a lot of things when I first found you. The others had all forgotten. And thank god for that. They can all be happy. Hyunjin finally fell for Jeongin, like he should have. Seungmin and Jisung finally got their shit together and kissed. Hah!” He laughs, and there is genuine mirth in it. “It was hilarious to see them skirting around each other back then. Jisung used to confide in all his secrets to you but his crush was obvious to everyone with eyes. I think he was even about to make a move but then…” He sobers up. “The accident.”
Minho… can’t remember his name. His breath catches. What’s his name? What is his name? “What is your name?” he says and he steps forward. The boy is more mist than matter now. “What- what is your name? Tell me. I will remember.”
The boy simply smiles, not opening his eyes. “You were the only one who remembered everything, including me. But slowly you forgot about that world too. And now you are going to forget me.”
“I am not. Tell me your name.”
“Minho!” “Minho hyung!” “Hyung!”
“Goodbye, hyung.”
Minho grabs the boy’s shoulders and he seems to vaguely startle at that but- but his features are not very visible anymore. Minho’s hand goes through his frame halfway, as if he is trying to hold on to a cloud. Which is rapidly disintegrating. “Tell. Me. Your. Name.”
“Minho!”
Minho turns to yell back through grit teeth. “A second!” He turns back. “Your-”
His hands are clutching air.
Minho blinks.
“Hyung?” a voice says from behind.
“He- He was… here,” stammers Minho. He wishes he could call for the… for him. But he doesn’t have a name. He doesn’t know whom to call for. He doesn’t quite remember why it was important to call for him.
Seungmin reaches him first and places a gentle hand on his arm. “Minho hyung? Are you okay?”
“I- He-” says Minho. Who?
Hyunjin voices his thoughts. “Who?”
“Minho,” says Chan. He sounds very concerned. “Whom are you talking about? You just ran away suddenly… We were so worried. Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” says Minho. He is a bit dazed. He drops his hands. Why was he holding his hands up awkwardly in mid-air? Minho is certain there was a reason but he can’t seem to grasp it. “I’m fine.” He is fine. Everything seems fine. It feels amazing, in fact. No longer hurts. But… did he ever hurt to begin with? Minho can’t recall any such incident. Nothing ever happened to hurt him. So what…?
“Hyung, let’s go back, okay?” says Jeongin, slowly, like he is afraid to spook Minho. “We were watching the movie we made, don’t you wanna watch the rest of it?”
“Yeah,” says Minho. He blinks a couple more times and then turns his attention to the boys. They all look apprehensive. “Yeah, I do. My acting debut.”
They finally begin to smile. Changbin claps enthusiastically. Someone sighs.
“Your acting debut!” hollers Changbin and gathers him by the shoulders and tugs him forward. The rest of them crowd around him as well, leading him back to the screening hall. “Remember us when you are famous, alright? Now come on!”
Minho walks back with them, feeling like he is missing something. But when he turns back to look one last time, the spot is as empty as it always had been. Why did Minho even come here?
He notices the packet of chocolate milk Jeongin fiddles with in his hand. “Hey, Jeongin-ah. Where did you get that?”
Jeongin looks blank. “I… don’t remember. I think someone gave it to me.”
Hyunjin tuts. “Don’t take candies from strangers, kiddo.”
Jeongin bristles. “Shut up. See if I ever let you hug me again.”
“Wait, no-”
Jisung bursts into raucous laughter and everyone soon follows suit.
Minho laughs, feeling like he is on top of the world. Everyone he has ever loved is here with him. What more can he need?