Chapter Text
A few days ago when Chris saved the ex-contestants of Total Drama from being stranded at the canyon, it was revealed they were going to be in another season of the show. Now one might think that after everything they went through, they’d call quits on this insanity and prefer to go back to their normal lives. But would these teenagers really pass up an opportunity to win a million dollars?
Hell, no! They would do anything to get their hands on that sweet, sweet load.
That’s currently the case for Noelle. After she lost probably the only job that paid her a decent amount especially for her age, no thanks to Mclean, she’d have to resort to other means in getting money. And yes, even if that meant participating in yet another loathsome experience that would probably make or break her life. Although she’s positive that it’s the latter, it’s not like it’s something she’s supposed to be positive about.
The girl wishes she was in her room right now, either sleeping or thinking about her plans for her totally bright future. Unfortunately for her, the only future that can be anticipated was taking a step on that damned bus along with her castmates. They were to be brought to the location of the new season, which according to their beloved host, is an All-Around-the-World competition. In a jet. So Noelle deduces that they would be arriving at an airport.
As much as she didn’t want to be in the current situation she was in, she promised her family that she would actually try this time to make up for what happened in the first season. Do you know how much constant teasing and berating she had to endure from her eight older brothers?
As Owen sits next to her, she could feel all her space running out until the only thing she’s able to do is hug the wall. “Hey, big guy?” she manages to wheeze out, “Wouldn’t you want to, y’know, prefer to have a whole seat to yourself? I’m pretty sure there’s, uh, one at the back especially for you.”
“Nah, I’d rather sit where I can spend time with my little buddy!” her friend responded.
Yes, her friend. Specifically her best friend. Nobody, not even Noelle, expected that Owen out of all people would befriend someone like her. The first time she properly hung out with the guy was when Izzy decided that she and Eva third-wheel join in the crazy girl’s supposed date with him. Noelle doesn’t really know why, just that Izzy thinks it would be a fun Team E-scope bonding ceremony of some sort. Admittedly, Owen wasn’t as bad as she thought his habits were. The big guy can bring out the fun in people, after all.
She sighs knowing she can’t change his mind about taking a different seat and resigns to her fate of an uncomfortable trip.
It's not like it can get any worse, can it?
Unfortunately for her (again), during the trip, Owen is then informed once more about what Chris announced a few days ago and panics about the idea of riding in a plane. Noelle attempts to console the guy, but after a few failed attempts, DJ—sitting a row just ahead of them—thankfully intervenes and helps her with calming her friend down.
Putting aside Izzy’s crazy antics, Harold nerding out like always, and the multiple times they nearly crashed onto the posts on the road, the bus finally halts to a stop, indicating that they had finally arrived at their destination. Noelle could hear the voice of the devil named Chris Mclean outside, giving out his introduction and the opening to the season. She then rises from her seat along with the others as some of them walk out of the bus once given the cue to do so.
“I can’t do this— I don’t WANNA go!” Owen exclaims as they move closer to the bus door.
“Don’t worry, man,” DJ assures him while still trying to calm him down, “If anything, Chris wouldn’t put us in danger if that meant losing his— uh, high-rating bringers? Something like that.”
“Well," Noelle interrupted, "I’m fairly certain that our lovely host out there thinks that us being in danger is just as viable for getting high ratings, so who's to cross out that possibility?” she reckons, making DJ turn to her before pausing to think about how she wasn’t exactly wrong about that one. Perhaps she shouldn't have actually said that considering it made Owen feel even worse that the Jamaican had to drag him out of the vehicle when they were both called. The girl could hear him cry out something about strawberry preserves.
“Aerophobia, from the Latin,” Harold says while stepping out of the bus, attempting to provide insight about the situation, “as opposed to aeronausiphobia: the fear of air sickness.”
Noelle, already sick of his annoying demeanor ever since the bus trip, retorted, “Keep up the fascinating facts, and I’m going to be aero-nauseous all over you.”
“And returning favorites,” Chris announces as she steps out of the vehicle with the remaining contestants, “Noelle! Cody! And—”
“Yo yo yo! This year’s winner is in the house!”
The host sent an annoyed glare at Ezekiel who interrupted his speech with whatever the hell he’s doing before Izzy jumps on the boy’s shoulders, making them both fall to the ground. Chris then continues with introducing Tyler and Bridgette, who both trip over the previous two that were still on the ground.
While this was all happening, Noelle went to stand with the rest of the contestants, with Cody trailing after her like a fly. She knew the guy was still trying to catch her attention, much to her annoyance. She turns to Owen and DJ, the former still panicking. DJ shrugged at her, implying that their efforts to calm the big guy down just weren’t working. Whatever, he'll wind down eventually.
They both turn their attention back to the host who seemed to have an important announcement.
“And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we’re adding two new competitors!”
Oh right. The Dirtbag dupe and the uberfan, whom Noelle remembers has attempted to barge into Chris’s studio when she still had her job, were joining them in this season.
“He’s an honor roll student with a diplomat for a dad, and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species: Alejandro!” Chris introduces the first newcomer, who steps out of the bus and from what Noelle could tell, has already charmed most of the contestants.
Not falling for that though. She’s aware that underneath that charming guy persona is the "condescending asshole" trait, courtesy from a few days ago. It's like everyone just forgot about how he acted during the Gemmie Awards after taking one look at the guy. He’s probably just another (objectively) handsome yet dumb face, like Justin, who’s here to boost ratings up.
She watches Alejandro lean down the group laying on the concrete and offer them a helping hand. “May I assist?” he asks, with Bridgette and Izzy gratefully accepting his help and being pulled up to their feet.
Izzy wasn’t afraid to express her interest with the handsome newcomer, unlike Bridgette who gets flustered and informs him—or rather reminds herself—that she has a boyfriend.
Back to the part where Noelle could tell he’s charmed most of the contestants, this applied to both genders. Alejandro helped Tyler and Ezekiel to their feet as well, the former telling him that he likes girls, unnecessarily so. Chris then continues to introduce the next newcomer. “And she’s a sugar-addicted superfan with 16 Total Drama blogs: Sierra!”
The said newcomer steps out of the bus, loudly expressing her excitement about how she’s here and how she loves them. How Chris allowed her to participate after the studio incident, Noelle will never know. She comes back from her thoughts as Sierra squeals again.
“Oh my gosh, CODY!!!” she exclaimed as she ran towards the said guy, “I’ve dreamed of this moment, except you weren’t wearing a shirt!~”
Noelle will pretend she didn't hear anything.
All the contestants’ attentions were turned to the insanely loud grating from the plane that looked like it’s seen better days, with Chef controlling it. Even Duncan can’t help but express his disbelief.
“What the—!?”
As the plane, if they can even call it that, halted to a stop with an extra gift of nails and bolts raining down, Courtney raised her hand and spoke, “Excuse me, but I’d like to express some concern about the safety of the plane?”
“Relax, it’s perfectly safe!” Chris assures her. And with comedic timing, a metal panel falls off from the side of the ‘plane’ and crashes onto the ground. Way to disprove what the host just said.
“...Now boarding!”
Everyone then finds Owen’s fear and concerns reasonable as he starts panicking. “NO! I CAN’T RIDE IN THAT!!! Call the United Nations! Call a CAB! CALL MY MOM!!!”
They worriedly watched as Chris approached the big guy with a frying pan. “No, I’m not doing this— I’m out! This is UNETHICAL—”
CLANG!
“Mommy…” Owen mumbled as he fell to the ground.
“Anybody else got a problem?” the host asks the rest of the contestants. Not wanting to get a potential concussion on the first day, they all quickly responded.
“No!”
“Love it!”
“Dibs on the window seat!”
After finishing his opening off by singing the name of the new season, Chris escorted the contestants to enter the plane as Noelle and DJ tried to lift an unconscious Owen up the plane before some interns approached to help them out.
“I mean, singing, really?” Gwen asks as they all follow the host into what seems like a dining hall, “I thought Chris was joking about that.”
“Well, I don’t have a problem with it!” Courtney cheerfully said.
“I think I speak for most of us here when I say we do,” Noelle remarked with the others nodding in agreement.
“Nerdette here’s not wrong, I don’t like singing!” Duncan angrily stated, “Girls sing, little birdies sing, but Duncans do NOT sing.”
“Think I’ll get to beatbox?” Harold asked.
“I’ll beat you if you try.”
“Why are you even doing this to us?!” Heather furiously questions the host.
“Singing reality shows are HUGE!” he explains, “And the worse the singing, the higher the ratings. WHICH is why on this show, there will be no vocal coaches, or rehearsals, or warning!”
That last sentence made everyone groan and complain in response, making them hate this season even more than they should.
“SHUSH! Quiet! Enough saying how much you hate to be here when we all know that’s a lie.”
“What’s not a lie is that I’d punch you in the face if I could,” Duncan uttered.
“Too bad for you! Anywho, this is the dining area where you’ll enjoy in-flight meals!”
The host shows them around the contents of the room which Noelle was pretty sure was just thrown in together on purpose. Like, trash cans and crates for seats? Really?
She decides to tune out Ezekiel’s speech about winning or something, she doesn’t really care.
“Psst…”
Ignore that.
“Hey hey, Noellleee...”
“What.” she asks, turning to the person whispering to her, which is Izzy.
“Did you know that there’s no such thing as the safest seat on the plane? Based on experience here!”
She's going to ignore that last part. "That's perfectly accurate for the one we're on right now.”
The crazy girl chuckles at Noelle’s response before their attention diverts to Leshawna's loud complaints from afar about how there’s a camera in the restroom again. Looks like they have an idea of where the confessional is this time.
“After every challenge, losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy-class accommodations between destinations,” Chris explains as they all head to the next room. It didn’t even seem to look like a proper economy class considering its awful conditions.
“Okay, but where are our beds?” Lindsay asked him.
“Owen, care to demonstrate?”
Everyone turns to a still unconscious Owen strapped to a wall while slumped on the wooden bench. The big guy’s mouth is hanging open as his drool puddles onto the floor.
“...So no beds?”
“That does not look comfortable at all,” Heather commented.
“Yep! No comfort for losers!” Chris grins, “Safety harnesses and an emergency exit, but definitely no comfort here, here, or here!”
He continues to point around the room before Sierra walks up to him and laughs exaggeratedly, “Ha ha ha! OMG, Chris! I’m just LOL!”
The host just looks at her in confusion.
“We should hit the winner’s compartment, eh?” Ezekiel declared, “'Cuz I ain’t never gonna sit back here! Never!”
Beside him, Noelle scrunches her face in disgust as she accidentally takes a whiff of his breath, “Is ‘never’ your policy on mouthwash too, homeschool?” she retorted while fanning the air with her hand. The boy turns red from embarrassment as he smells his breath.
They all stroll down to the next room, revealing to look much nicer and fancier than the previous ones they went through. Gold-embedded seats, red curtains over the plane windows, and how did they even manage to set up a bar?
“This is the first-class cabin! The domain of each week's winners,” Chris shows them around. “Not only will you have luxurious seats and food separate from the ones served in the dining room, but there will also be a team of flight attendants, happy and willing to serve you!” As he points to a door by the room, a group of pretty ladies wearing uniforms pop their heads and wave at them.
One would never expect that this room would be in the same plane as those other pig pens. Noelle went to sit on one of the seats beside Izzy and…
Oh my God, does that feel so comfortable.
She restrained herself from melting further onto the seat to prevent falling asleep from how exhausted she was during the trip. Noelle gave an unimpressed look at Gwen and Bridgette who both chuckled amusedly at her behavior.
“Now this is the kind of accommodation ladies deserve!” she hears Alejandro say. She turned her head to see him talking to Lindsay as they stood by the bar, attempting to woo her.
“They get ladies in first class, too?” the confused girl asked as she looked around the room before realizing, “Oh! Me! You meant me!” She gave a shy smile, flattered by the guy’s words.
“That guy's as smooth as gravy,” DJ commented beside a dejected Tyler.
“But Lindsay’s supposed to like me!”
“Nobody can compete with gravy.”
“DJ, she’s my girlfriend!”
Noelle turns back from that scene as she hears Bridgette speak, “How come the production team puts effort into something nice like this but not when it comes to other stuff…”
“If you ask me,” Gwen responded, “they put way more effort into the more awful things.”
Noelle couldn’t help but interject into their conversation, “Considering what we’ve seen so far, I’d say it’s an insult to the word ‘awful’.”
“Pfft— you're not wrong.”
The conversation is interrupted as they hear a loud THUD! across the room. They look to see Tyler sprawled on the carpet. Whatever he just did was probably a pitiful attempt to impress Lindsay. Unfortunately, that just made the dumb girl’s attention more occupied with Alejandro.
Noelle continued to observe the scene. A while ago during Alejandro’s introduction, he was willing to help not only the girls but the boys as well. Currently, he just gave Tyler, still sprawled on the floor, an unimpressed look. If he really had the personality of a gentleman, he’d help the guy up to his feet.
Truly a condescending asshole.
“And that’s pretty much it!” Chris concluded, finishing the tour as they all returned to the dining room, “I skipped the cargo hold and galley, but I’m sure you’ll find those exciting destinations later when I ‘accidentally’ lock you in them!”
“Very reassuring of you, really,” Noelle snarked at him. The host just smiles in response.
The room then shakes as the plane starts to take off, making Bridgette fall off her seat and land on Alejandro’s lap. “Señorita, are you okay?” he asked.
The surfer girl looks up at him with a wonderstruck expression that Noelle found stupid, “Is the Earth moving?”
“Nope! We are! WOOO!” Izzy responds delightedly as she hears the plane engines sound more intense.
“One more thing,” Chris catches their attention once more, “I’m sure you all remember a little something called the elimination ceremony!”
Noelle does. The first time she got in one, it was also when she was the first one voted off her team back at the island. Good times, really.
They all head to the metal door before Chris opens it, revealing a room with bleachers on the side, a stage with a flowery curtain, and two tiki heads by an emergency door.
“If you don’t receive a barf bag,” Ew. “full of airline-issued peanuts-”
“I got a peanut allergy, yo.” Ezekiel interrupts, “or more like a... sensitivity.”
The host squinted, already annoyed by how many times he’s been interrupted by this specific teen, before continuing, “You will be forced to take the Drop of Shame—”
“Okay, I just don’t like—”
“—Kinda like this!” he irritatingly grabbed the boy by the hoodie collar and threw him out the emergency door. Thankfully for Ezekiel, the plane hasn’t fully taken off so he lands on the concrete safely. Everyone could hear him loudly ask Chris to slow the plane down before the host shouted at him. “All eliminations are final, bro!”
The flight stays peaceful for the most part as the contestants stay at the dining room, leaving some of them to their own thoughts.
“Every second we’re getting closer to adventure,” DJ sadly says, “and further from Mama…”
“It’s not like we’re straying from our families forever,” Noelle comments, sitting beside him. A small silence occurred before she finally decided to ask, “How have you two been, though? With what happened with those lawsuits and all?”
DJ sighs, “Not so well to be honest. It’s been hard for both of us, but we’re trying.”
She hums in response. Her eyes dart around the room, “...My family's always open to helping you guys out, you know? They don’t really mind.”
That was true. It came to Noelle’s surprise that her mother actually knew DJ’s mama. Even more surprising is that they didn’t live too far from each other. Apparently, the two met at a local superstore and bonded over their complaints about the rising vegetable prices. They also excitedly talked about their kids—Noelle and DJ—being on the same show.
During the months after Total Drama Action, Noelle’s mother insisted on bringing her to help with setting up a cooking show hosted by her close friend. And you can guess how she reacted when she discovered who that friend was.
Bingo! DJ’s mama!
Even DJ was surprised when he realized his fellow castmate was there. But a few more visits happened before the two teens grew close. No, there were no romantic feelings involved. Noelle only ever saw the guy as one of her own brothers. Maybe that’s why she had a soft spot for him.
She and her family were definitely concerned when they heard about the situation with DJ’s mama getting sued and left with almost nothing. Her parents reached out to offer some help but the teen and his mother refused, not wanting to get anyone else involved.
“Yeah, we appreciate that. But we’ll be okay, don’t worry.” DJ gratefully tells her, making her form a small but genuine smile. A few contestants at their table who curiously listened to their conversation must've thought they had seen a rare sight, surprised that the girl wasn’t all snark and quips.
The wholesome moment was cut short as Sierra talks to Cody, addressing him by his full name and stating his exact birthday, creepily enough. Poor guy just felt uncomfortable. Sure, Noelle finds him and his flirtatious advances off-putting, but Sierra was just on another level.
She remembers hearing from someone about the superfan leaking a story saying Noelle wore false teeth (NOT TRUE in any WAY or FORM). Izzy likes to spout weird and random lies, so the cynic's made sure to keep a lookout in case Ms. Crazy does this again.
DING DING!
Everyone’s attention is turned to the sound of a bell before the lights turn off. A spotlight that God knows where it came from shines down on a snazzily dressed Chris, doing a totally snazzy pose.
“Whenever you hear the friendly bell,” he announces, “It’s musical number time! So let’s hear it!”
The contestants look at each other confusedly before Courtney asks, “But, what are we supposed to sing?”
“You have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now would it?"
Great.
SONG START
Courtney stands up to start the song, with some of the girls following.
Courtney: Up!
Courtney and Izzy: Up!
Courtney, Izzy, and Sierra: Up!
Courtney, Izzy, Lindsay and Sierra: Uuup!
The boys then follow as well.
Harold: Sing!
Cody and Harold: Sing!
Cody, DJ and Harold: Sing!
Cody, DJ, Harold and Tyler: Siiing!
The girls and boys then gather together.
Bridgette, Courtney, Heather, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsay, Noelle, and Sierra: We're flying!
Alejandro, Cody, DJ, Harold, and Tyler: And singing!
Everyone (except Duncan, Ezekiel, Gwen, and Owen): We're flying and we're singing!
Sierra runs pushing a catering trolley, which carried Cody for some reason.
Sierra: Come fly with uuus!
Cody and Sierra: Come fly with uuus!
Izzy pops out of a top compartment...
Izzy: We've got a lotta crazy tunes to bust! Ha-ha!
…before falling after.
Bridgette and Lindsay stand on the luxury seats on their respective sides.
Bridgette: Come fly with uuus!
Bridgette and Lindsay: Come fly with uuus!
Alejandro walks between them, reaching for their hands as the two girls accept, both with a flattered expression.
Alejandro: It's a pleasure, and an honor, and a must!
Duncan sits by the dining table.
Duncan: Dudes, this is messed. You're singing in a plane.
Harold brings out his nunchucks…
Harold: What did you expect? Chris is fricking insane.
…and accidentally hits himself with it, "Ah!"
Gwen steps in.
Gwen: Yeah, but guys, you're singing on TV!
Courtney follows while doing a pointe move.
Courtney: Haven't you always wanted to? It can't just be meee!
DJ and Leshawna perform dancing.
DJ: Come fly with us!
DJ and Leshawna: Come fly with us!
At the cockpit:
Heather: Do you know how to steer this thing?!
Chef Hatchet: I try.
Meanwhile, in the cargo hold:
Ezekiel: They thought they could leave me and depaaart, but this stowaway's got winning in his heaaart!
Noelle looks out the window worriedly, seeing the wing engine in terrible condition.
Noelle: Come fly with uuus! Come die with uuus!
Owen panicked, "We're flying?! I hate flying! STOP THE PLANE!"
CLANG! Chris hits Owen again with a frying pan.
The rest of them approach Duncan and Gwen.
Cody, DJ, Heather and Sierra: Come fly with uuus! Come sing with uuus!
"NO!"
Chris goes to them, holding out a document, "Anyone care for a copy of the season three rules? Because! In order to escape instant elimination-"
…before Bridgette snatches it from his hand.
Bridgette: All contestants must sing in each showww!
Courtney and Cody go to convince Duncan and Gwen.
Courtney: Duncan, do it! Let's go!
Cody: Gwen, sing it! Don't go!
“Well, I don’t wanna go home,” Gwen worriedly says before standing up to perform, much to her frustration.
Gwen: Come fly with uuus! Come fly with uuus! Cooome, and flyyy, with uuus!
Courtney clasped her hands, "Duncan, come on! Please?!"
Duncan stands up and raises his arms. Everyone else surrounds him.
Duncan: This suuucks!
Everyone (except Duncan, Ezekiel and Owen): Yeah!!!
SONG END
After the song ends, the intercom activates as they hear Chef’s voice booming from it, “Enough singing, fruitcakes! Strap yourselves in! We will be making our way to Egypt!”
Egypt?
“Musical numbers, worst idea ever. Chris is such an idi—”
The contestants all looked at the host, who audibly gasped and visibly scowled after.
“Hey, why’s the PA light still on?”
A moment of realization hits Chef.
“Aw, shi—”
The intercom cuts off.
“We’ll be right back...” Chris muttered as he angrily made his way towards the cockpit.
A long silence occurred before everyone went back to their respective seats. From what Noelle heard, their next destination was Egypt. Since the flight took off not long ago, she deduces that it’ll be at least 11 hours before they get there as long as no interruptions happen with the plane. Okay, she’s probably foreshadowing something that’ll happen during this, she figures, mess of a world tour.
But who knows what it could bring?