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Most of Suguru's nights were bad ones.
Satoru realized that while he stayed in her room. He, technically, slept, the Six Eyes told her that much. But it was restless. His body was tense and he tossed and turned for hours. It explained why he always looked so exhausted during the day. But all her attempts to talk to him about it were brushed off. All she could do was watch over him while he slept.
Their last night together, his eyebrows were furrowed together roughly as usual. Satoru sighed, tucking a shitty bang away from his face. She wished there was more she could do to help. She didn't like to see him suffer.
Unfortunately, her small movement woke him up. "Satoru," he greeted, yawning and she felt guilty for making him lose even more sleep. "Awake as ever I see."
She grinned. "It's the last night I get to have you in my bed," she flirted. "How could I sleep?"
He chuckled, sitting up fully. "Ah, so I'm just a bedwarmer to you?"
"Did you think otherwise?" Satoru tried to avoid direct eye-contact. She didn't have the protection of her shades at the moment and she felt too seen without them. "How are you even gonna get used to sleeping without me?"
"Guess you'll have to stay over every night then."
Satoru froze for half a second, then forced herself to relax. It was just their usual flirting, nothing more. "Ha, you wish. Can't have the kiddos getting the wrong idea." It was one thing for them to share this room temporarily, but if the twins thought she was staying in his bed at their home every night... No. Not even she was that bold.
Silence. It wasn't uncommon with her and Suguru; they never really needed words. He knew her and she knew him. And even though the bond had been bent, it wasn't broken. And it never would be if she had anything to say about it.
"Suguru," she said finally. "What changed?"
He blinked, looking at her oddly. "What?"
Satoru swallowed. "What changed?" she repeated, louder this time. She wanted to know why he had been about to turn away from everything; jujutsu sorcery, his parents, her. She could understand his dislike for non-sorcerers, even she didn't care for them much. But there had to be something else. Grief was one thing, but that? That wasn't normal. She knew that much at least.
Suguru sighed. "Satoru-"
"No, I wanna know." She tightened her jaw in an effort to stay calm as her voice trembled a bit. Only he could rouse such emotions out of her, she was usually the epitome of cool and collected. "What made you want to leave? Fushiguro? Riko's death? Haibara's death? What was it-"
"You."
Satoru froze, her throat suddenly tight. Whatever she had expected, it wasn't that. It was her he was trying to get away from? She was the one driving him away? She wanted to say something- laugh, yell at him, anything- but she couldn't. Her lips were sealed shut.
Suguru winced, as if his mind just caught up to his mouth. "That isn't-" He cleared his throat. "I didn't mean it like that."
She found her voice. "Then how did you mean it?"
He pulled at his long, dark hair. "I told you, you don't need me," he reminded her. "You ascended; you're above me, above all of us."
This nonsense again? "I told you, I'll always need you," Satoru stressed. Why didn't he understand? How could she be any more clear?
"I know you think that," Suguru replied and she didn't like that. It felt too much like he was dismissing her. "But you don't. You've barely been here, you know. And that makes sense because you're Satoru Gojo and you're needed more than the rest of us. But..."
"But what?"
"It felt like you left first."
Satoru swallowed thickly, really wishing she had her glasses now. "I see," was all she could manage. Really, she wanted to bury her face into her pillow and scream. She never cried- the last time was when she was five after a nasty argument with her father and before she had learned to ignore him- but she sure felt like it now.
Suguru sighed heavily. "I'm not trying to blame you," he insisted, though in her opinion he was doing a shitty job. "You didn't do anything wrong. I know the fault lies with me."
She let out a puff of frustrated air to hide the fact that her heart felt like it was cracking in her chest. "Then I guess you're happy to leave," she responded sharply, turning her eyes away from him. She wasn't gonna cry, she wasn't.
He was quiet for a minute. "Maybe in a way," he admitted. Her breath hitched and her eyes stung. "Sharing a bed with you makes it rather hard to control myself, you see."
Satoru blinked away her tears in confusion; what was with the sudden change in tone? "Eh?"
Suguru sighed. "Satoru," he asserted, sounding impatient with her for once.
It took her an embarrassingly long time to catch onto what he was saying. When it hit her, she was unable to stop her jaw from dropping. "Geto's a pervert," she accused.
He actually looked flustered for the first time in a long time. "Oh, shut up," he snapped, flopping back down and burying his red face in her pillow.
Satoru cackled, her chest no longer as heavy at it had been. "I can't believe you've been ogling me all this time!" she teased him, plopping herself onto his back. It was a little awkward considering that she was a bit taller than him, but that had never stopped her before. "How long, hm? How long have you wanted to get in my pants?"
Suguru tried to shove her off to no avail. "I should have never told you, jackass," he hissed at her.
She clung to his torso, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I can't blame you, of course," she continued as if she hadn't heard him. She felt so much better. He didn't hate her or want to get away from her. He was still hers, even if he couldn't properly say it. "I mean, look at me."
"You're insufferable."
"And you love it."
XXX
Moving Suguru and the girls into their new apartment had been an ordeal.
Shoko had joined them, but she was absolutely no help. All she did was sit on her ass with the girls and criticize Satoru and Suguru from the sidelines. Though, she did take the girls to the park after a while, so she wasn't completely useless. Though, with Shoko gone there was no buffer to keep the two of them from clashing.
"Satoru, lift higher," snapped Suguru. "We're never going to get this bed up these godforsaken stairs if you don't actually lift it."
"I am lifting," insisted Satoru. She was tempted to teleport and let the bed fall just to spite him. "It's heavy."
"I've seen you lift Utahime, Shoko, and Mei Mei at the same time," he pointed out.
She flushed at the reminder. "That was different!"
Eventually, though, they did get everything moved in. The apartment was bare, but it wouldn't stay that way for long if she had anything to say about it. When they were done, they both collapsed onto the floor. "Dude..." Satoru said, realization making her head spin. "You're, like, an adult now."
Suguru chuckled. "Yeah," he agreed. "I guess I am."
She stuck her tongue out. "Gross," she commented. Was this her fate as well? How terrifying. But Satoru consoled herself; no, she wasn't mom material, not like Suguru was. She was just helping a couple of kiddos out. It wasn't the same thing.
It wasn't.
But she couldn't brush off the feeling that everything was about to change and Suguru moving into his new apartment was only the beginning.
XXX
Satoru didn't think she had fully comprehended the concept of PTSD before meeting Megumi Fushiguro.
Jesus fucking Christ, the kid was basically a clone! The only difference between them was the lack of scar on Megumi's face and that the kid's hair seemed to curve up. Like a spiky little sea urchin. Not many things could take her by surprise, but staring at Toji Fushiguro's mini carbon copy made her stagger for a moment. She couldn't help but gawk.
"What's with that weird-looking face, you freak?" Damn, they even scowled the same way.
Satoru schooled her expression and adjusted her glasses, making sure to hide her eyes. Even though she was supposed to be the one with the Six Eyes, it felt like Megumi was looking directly into her soul. Also, the bright blue of her eyes tended to be off-putting; she didn't want to scare the kid. "You just look like him is all," she murmured more to herself than to the boy.
Toji's stupid smug face flashed in her mind before she could help it. Not for the first time, she cursed the bastard for putting her in this position; she didn't know jack shit about kids! Her heart went out for the poor woman he undoubtedly tricked into having a child with him.
Though as she looked at Megumi, it was clear he was very different from his father. He was guarded and quiet and untrusting. Which, fair, she was a stranger. Apparently, Toji and his wife hadn't been around for a while, leaving Megumi and his stepsister, Tsumiki, to their own devices.
Bastard.
Satoru tried to smile. "It's my own issue," she clarified with a little half-shrug. She began to give a small rundown of his father, electing to make him sound like a noble father who wanted to save his son from the evil Zenin clan who wanted him for his power instead of a shitty deadbeat who sold him to said evil clan. She started to explain jujustu sorcery and was about to confess Toji Fushiguro's fate at her hands...
Only for Megumi to cut her off. "I don't care." She stopped speaking, listening closely. "I have no interest in where he is or what he's doing. It's been so long I don't even remember what he looks like."
That... took her off guard. How long had that asshole been gone?! Piece of shit. Her heart felt heavy in her chest as she thought about how long this kid had been alone.
"Though, I think I understand what you're trying to tell me," continued Megumi. "Tsumiki's mom hasn't come home for a while now either."
As if on cue, the sliding door of one of the balconies opened. A sweet-looking girl with tied brown hair and a kind smile peered down at them. "Megumi's home!" she cheered. They must have been close.
"I guess that means they're finished with us, and they're off enjoying themselves somewhere else," the boy assumed.
Was this really a first grader? He was highly observant, and very intelligent. But also, blunt and pessimistic. Mature for his age, too mature in her opinion. He was just a baby.
Satoru fought to keep the relaxed smile on her face. "Well okay then!" she said. "If you ever want to know about your father, you can ask me. You might change your mind." She wouldn't tell him outright, she couldn't. How could she tell a six-year-old boy she had killed his dad? But if he asked... she wouldn't lie.
He deserved the truth if he wanted it.
Satoru schooled her features, drawing her mouth into a line. "Now, to the main point," she spoke firmly. "What do you want to do? Do you want to go to the Zenin?" The choice was his, even though she felt terrible for even suggesting it. No one deserved to be raised by those monsters.
Not even Toji.
Megumi fixed her with a hard, searching look. "If I go there, do you think my sister will be able to find happiness?" he asked. And for the first time during their conversation, she heard the faintest bit of hope in his voice. "If she can, then-"
Satoru hated to rip that hope away. "No," she told him firmly. "One hundred percent, no. I can say that with certainty." At best, she would live as a servant. At worst... She didn't even want to think about it.
He visibly flinched and Satoru felt guilty; she hadn't wanted to scare him. To ease him a bit, she ruffled his hair. "Leave the rest to me then, okay?" He scowled up at her, but didn't swat her away.
Before she left, she looked up at Tsumiki, who was staring down at them curiously, and offered her a smile. "I'll sort it all out," she promised. "Take care of each other until then."
Megumi rolled his eyes. "Will you just go already?" he complained. "People are staring..."
Satoru cackled, taking her leave.