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Amidst the chaos of being a Godolkin student, Jordan Li never expected to get a crush on someone. Marie Moreau came into the campus like a natural phenomenon you can't prepare for, and managed to unfold hidden secrets that were out of Jordan's capacities to fully understand yet.
As the events unfolded from being a top 2 student to Brink and Luke's deaths, the woods and Sam's appearance, Jordan truly felt like nothing had stayed the same for more than a day. And that includes their relationship with Marie.
She started as an annoyance, rejecting someone from Brink's class was no news to them but it was the first time a person tried to stand against their decision. Then Andre invited her into their outing, and even if her pretty face troubled their mind, they still held the grudge against her defiant personality.
Then Marie became an actual problem. Jordan knew that their new position as n° 5 was due to Brink's death, but they couldn't help hating Marie for profiting from the image of Guardian of Godolkin instead of telling the truth. Jordan was there, and everything would be ruined if they didn’t manage to slow down Luke in time.
But again, nothing stayed the same now, and soon Jordan started to see and understand more of Marie. The wannabe superhero persona, how exactly long her hair was, what she smelled like, how she used her powers and even how her skin felt like. Soft. Really, really soft. It felt crazy to desire her touch and presence so much now.
So Marie Moreau is a crush, they admit. A person they are more than interested in talking, kissing, making out and even more but…
Switching. Switching is off the table.
Jordan has no big problem with any of their forms, life as a bigender person has helped them to appreciate every detail of each body, and they felt blessed that in the russian roulette of superpowers, they got one that fit them just right. However, Jordan knew the implications of their existence in this world and how unlikely it was to find someone who appreciated both sides equally. They tried, really, but someone always had a bias and they couldn’t help but comply with the other’s preference.
And yeah, Marie never disclaimed any preference but Jordan can’t help their insecurities built by the years. Their father’s disapproving eyes. The university exploiting their female body in a stupid commercial for fake inclusivity. The change of attitude of everyone around them everytime they switched. Jordan was one, but it was like everybody saw them as two, and oh that hurt.
At first, they didn’t notice their unconscious acts of switching, but it started to be way more obvious now that Marie was often around. They would choose their male form to interact with her, feeling more comfortable to reach out and kiss her whenever they wanted. And so far, Marie has not complained once, which painfully confirmed all of Jordan’s insecurities at heart.
However, they failed to realize how smart and observant she was. And one day inside their dorms, while mindlessly looking over their books on the shelf, she finally dropped the bomb into their hands:
"By the way, why–" Marie thought twice before continuing "Why do you only kiss me when you are like this ?" she finally asks, tilting her head slightly to the side. Cute .
“What do you mean?” they replied, mind still a bit fuzzy from the kiss they had minutes ago. God, they really were in love, weren’t they?
“When we kiss… You are always like this ” she explained, gesturing her hands towards their body. “I mean no disrespect, I like you either way but is it an actual thing or…?”
Jordan’s mind spiraled, what did she say?
“Can you repeat that?” they asked, voice lower than usual.
Marie looked at him in amusement. “You mean the question? I just wanted to know why you swit-” they interrupted her.
“No. No. Not that. What you said about liking…”
She still looked at them dead in the eye, trying to understand where this conversation was going. “I like you Jordan, like this and any other way” they gulped, swallowing their saliva so they wouldn’t choke in front of her. “Is it really surprising?” she asked, noticing it.
“Marie… I-” they had no words to say, to be honest, even though they should have imagined this question would come eventually. They felt like a deer in headlights, Marie’s caring eyes patiently waiting for an answer. “It’s not a surprise.” they lied. “I just thought… you were straight” that wasn’t a lie, but it was definitely only half of a true, her sexuality was a minor problem compared to their own feelings regarding their female body.
She stared at him for some seconds before replying. “I… well, first of all, I’m not straight” she pointed a finger at their chest. “And I can’t believe you were switching because of me. Why would you think that? You never asked me! Why would-” she stopped herself. “I feel like there’s more to this than you are saying”
Bingo . And now Jordan pondered why the hell would they fall for someone so smart.
They breathed out, “You’re right” they suddenly felt small, despite the height difference in their advantage. “I once dated a girl who only wanted me like this.” they said it all in one go, and they hated that it was easier to open up about themselves to a stranger like Maverick than Marie. “I feel like people have a hard time… dealing with two forms. I thought everything would be easier between us if I stayed more like this with you” they confessed, feeling so afraid that this would change everything between them.
“I’m a bit offended you would think I’m like your ex” Marie half-laughed. Was Jordan the only one feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders right now? “But I get it. I genuinely do.” she came closer, putting her arms around their body. “But I like you. An awful lot and in any shape or form, that’s why I asked you in the first place”
Jordan was still trying to process this amount of information in seconds.
Marie liked them, really liked them, apparently. And sure, It’s no surprise by the way they’ve been acting with each other but… It’s more. She cared enough about them to notice their shifting habits, probably managed to see the insecurity behind their eyes whenever they were in their female body with her, and this is what makes Jordan fall for her all over again in seconds. She cares. She cares. She cares and she doesn’t stop. They are not used to this.
In this silence, Marie reassures: “I know who you are Jordan. I know that no matter what you look like, you’re still this ambitious and cocky student, the one that rejected me from Brink’s class and also the one who saved me multiple times after that. To be with me, you only have to choose me, not a part of you” she said, and they couldn’t resist kissing her as soon as she stopped talking, overwhelmed with her sweet smile, eyes and tender voice.
The kiss somehow felt different from the others, the relief tasting sweet in their tongue “I-, thank you” they said, pressing their forehead to hers. this entire conversation seemed like something out of a dream, and to be holding her so close and knowing it’s true made Jordan’s heart lighter.
“So…” she looked at them with half-lidded eyes
“Oh, you want me to…? Like, right now?” they knew what she wanted.
“I mean, if you feel like it…” her hands moved from behind their back to their neck, bringing their entire body closer. “I’d really like to kiss you again”
they smiled, the shifting comes naturally, and marie laughs when she feels their hair touch her arms on their neck. Jordan felt Marie’s eyes studying their entire face like this, and they’re sure that she has never been this close outside kissing.
“from the dimples…” Marie started, pulling one of her hands to caress their face. “... all the way to your gummy smile, i like it all ” she whispered the last part, bringing her lips closer. This time, the kiss felt more intense than before. Low moans, shallow breathing, holding onto clothes and each other’s face like one could disappear at any time. They wanted it all, it’s not enough. Never enough.
Oxygen became a problem quickly, and they finally let go of each other to breathe. Jordan felt on cloud nine, with a smile plastered on their face while Marie just rolled her eyes. “Thank you” she said. “Thank you for trusting me” she gave them a quick peck on the lips. “Was I too blunt earlier?” her eyebrows furrowed in worry.
“No, not at all. I knew I couldn’t avoid this conversation forever” they held her hand and pushed her to their bed with them. “But now, I just want to lay down for a bit with you, get used to it, alright?”
She smiled, quickly jumping into the bed and immediately gluing her body to theirs. “Can i be the big spoon, though?” she asked, sniffing their nape and hair and wrapping their smaller frame with her long legs.
Jordan relaxed. “Yeah yeah sure” they were still a bit embarrassed of the emotion-filled conversation they had, hiding their contorted face of happiness on the pillow. “Let’s just take a nap, huh?” Marie just murmured, ready to doze off in the comfortable embrace she had on Jordan.
Life on Goldokin was a mess every hour, and despite the constant changes and dangers they were facing everyday, they slept cozily knowing they found the one. At the end, Marie Moreau was a natural phenomenon they would never try to avoid.