Work Text:
Maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me
“This design, it’s…”
“Yes?”
Kaveh sat on the edge of his seat, fists clenched in his lap and palms sweaty in anticipation. Antsy and impatient, he rolled back and forth on the balls of his planted feet. He hadn’t touched the plate of food in front of him; had forgotten about it entirely. This moment was too important. An exciting commission, and one that would change his life for the better if the client approved his design.
The design…it was magnificent. A masterpiece and a gleaming display of both his practical and artistic abilities. Both were also demonstrated in the framing and construct of the Palace of Alcazarzaray, but this one…this one, he wouldn’t screw up. He didn’t have the total lack of constraints as Dori had given him with the Palace, but there were plenty of places he could add his signature touch and test his ideas. This time, he had researched the land and made himself aware of anything that could go wrong.
In the past few months, he had slowly learned to put a leash on his impulsivity, allowing himself to be driven by his artistic desires, but to not chase them if they led him astray.
“How should I say this? It’s…”
“Yes?” he repeated, his eyes glued to the client’s. If he hadn’t been so focused on the client’s next words, he wouldn’t have missed the nervous look on her face.
“It’s inadequate. Not what I’m looking for in the slightest. Did you even pay attention when I gave you the description?”
“Ex-excuse me…?”
His client, Marie, the daughter of some highly regarded noble in Fontaine, scowled at the blueprint in her hands. The one that caused Kaveh to conceal the deep sagging under his eyes from sleepless nights because he just had to get his ideas out on paper before they withered in his mind. And not just that, he stayed up every night to get the lines perfect, to recheck the calculations, flipping endlessly through the Fontainian architectural books he borrowed from the House of Daena.
Marie’s vision was to own a resort-style hotel smack in the middle of the Sumeran desert. She surmised the desert had much to offer travelers, and a grand hotel would be a most welcome and a, not to mention, lucrative addition to it. Her general requirement, among many, was that it had to mimic actual Fontainian design. It was to be a serene getaway in the middle of nowhere. A water haven amidst the dusty, arid desert. Ponds and pools and fountains glistening in the blaring sun, welcoming, tempting, to all who stumble upon the refreshing breeze.
In other words, a beautiful, sacred oasis. Kaveh found the idea intriguing.
And yet, the nerve of this woman to accuse him of incompetence when he had scribbled down each of her words, and then having to subsequently unwind her scattered-brain mess of thoughts and reorganize her wishes into something that was actually possible.
No, walls of pure ice cannot withstand the desert heat. They would be tricky to sustain even in Snezhnaya, let alone the Great Red Sand of Sumeru. But Kaveh had figured out a way for walls to be cooled, and the materials would even include the sleek marble stones often used in the important cathedrals in Fontaine.
Besides that, among other ludicrous ideas she had thrown at Kaveh, of which he did thoroughly consider and actually had made work, the ultimate issue would be water itself. He’d have to source it from the nearest body of water (which was not near in the slightest). He had to avoid actual oases that the Eremites and desert animals used; he wouldn’t want to destabilize their way of life.
Kaveh knew this problem would need to be solved before he could work on his design, so he went straight to work on the research. Marie gave him the coordinates of the location she’d secured a building permit, and he visited the site that same day. He took notes of the surroundings, surveyed the land, and then offered to buy Cyno lunch for chasing off a group of treasure hoarders.
His design included more than just that—he researched the costs of the materials, obtaining quotes from various venders, and mapped out the logistics. The extensive irrigation and piping system this endeavor required would be possible but costly. He discussed his options for a water source with the water department in Sumeru City and preemptively enlisted the engineers at Ksharawar to be on standby should the project be approved.
Cue the Akademiya scribe. Since Kaveh needed his darshan’s help, and unless Marie would be willing to pay a premium, he was required to submit a funding application to his favorite person.
“You and Alhaitham are friends, right? You’ll get an approval from him,” said one of his old professors.
‘Friends’…no, that wasn’t the right word. And Kaveh wasn’t about to consult with the Haravatat alumni, expert of words and languages, to figure out what was.
The fewer conversations between him and Alhaitham, the better. The truth was, he hadn’t even put the proposal on the scribe’s desk yet. That was a bridge Kaveh would cross when the time came.
“It just feels empty, like you deliberately forgot to include the details I provided. For example, where are the jellyfish fountains? The curtains of water in between the garden archways? The Fonta café? The outdoor stage??”
Kaveh’s bloodshot eyes slowly scanned his blueprint, and he was so tired, borderline delirious, that he wanted to laugh.
“Forgive me, I must have forgotten to mention that this is the first draft…”
It was the twenty-first draft, actually.
“…thus, it is meant to display a basic framework…”
It was a rather detailed ‘basic’ display, by the way.
“…but I can point out the spots where those details will go. For example, the jellyfish fountains, I thought, would look good in the gardens. They will be symmetrical, as you requested, and as you can see here,” he pointed to the intricate maze of hedges made from desert plants he’d drawn. “It would be lovely to have four, two on each side-”
“And what is this?”
Marie dragged a manicured finger along the drawn fence lining the perimeter, stopping at a small, one-roomed building adjacent to the entrance gate.
“The desert is peaceful for the most part, but it is prudent to take precautions in case, say, a consecrated beast was to-”
“Think of something else more inconspicuous. If potential customers see that the resort needs to be guarded, that will take away from the desert paradise look I’m going for!” Marie fumed, snatching Kaveh’s pencil from across the table and scribbling out the ‘hideous’ square building.
“Oh, my.” Kaveh swallowed. With clients as entitled and rude as this, he’d have to chant be professional, be professional over and over in his mind until he knew his sharp tongue wouldn’t sputter something he’d regret.
“On the contrary, a weary traveler may see the protection and be inclined to stay at a place that will keep them safe.”
Marie’s pursed lips softened into a straight line, but she crossed her arms, turning her nose up in the air. “Well, supposing that would actually be the case, why don’t you install something a bit more voyant? What about water cannons?” She clasped her hands together, seemingly proud of herself for offering the suggestion. “Instead of whatever tacky thing you have for fencing, why not have fortress walls around it? The water cannons could shoot from the towers and the guests can gather on the wall to watch our hard-working company take care of any and all threats!”
Fontainians love their theatrical entertainment, don’t they?
Kaveh wasn’t mad or upset, but as ridiculous as it was, his mind second guessed himself. Like, he could have done better. He should have read the client better and incorporated more off-the-wall, showy things that she’d praise. He should have researched beyond Fontainian architecture and dove deeper into their culture. He should have consulted with his mother.
No…he shouldn’t bother his mother. She deserved to live her new life in Fontaine without worrying about her son. She left him alone, after all, believing he could figure out everything by himself. He owed it to her to prove her right.
Marie babbled on about the fortress wall, and Kaveh wanted to tell her that such a structure seemed more in line with Mondstadt architecture than Fontaine, but he couldn’t open his mouth even if he wanted to. His mother…would she have taken on this project if she still lived in Sumeru with her late husband? How would she handle the client? What changes would she agree to, or when would she put her foot down?
Through his nose, Kaveh slowly inhaled enough air to fill his lungs, one, two, three, and in that short time, he was able to calm his inner thoughts. This was something he had observed Alhaitham do in his office at work. Kaveh would sometimes eat his lunch with the scribe, usually when the latter forgot to take the food Kaveh prepared for him.
It wasn’t unusual for a significant figure such as a Sage or a Mahamatra like Cyno to barge in with a matter of high importance. Nothing, in fact, was of high enough importance to disturb Alhaitham’s lunch hour, but he couldn’t do much about it when the person insisted, on the verge of a full-on panic attack.
There were so many areas of interest Kaveh wished he was an expert on, but unfortunately, memorizing how Alhaitham ticked from the inside out was knowledge impossible to avoid. While Kaveh would bend over backwards to comfort a distressed Sage at any time of the day, Alhaitham hated to be disturbed during his lunch break. Kaveh could hear it in Alhaitham’s change of tone, snippier and harsher words thrown at the person impeding on his personal time. If Alhaitham wanted to be alone so badly during his break, Kaveh wondered why he didn’t adopt this attitude when Kaveh set up his own lunch on the other side of Alhaitham’s desk.
Truth be told, it was becoming more of a routine these days, to join Alhaitham for lunch. Sometimes they’d chat pleasantly about this and that; sometimes, they’d argue relentlessly about nothing that truly mattered in the scheme of things—they were past that, Kaveh hoped. And even when the meal was in silence, Alhaitham too distracted by a new research discovery published in one of the million academic journals he subscribed to, Kaveh didn’t mind. Just having company to enjoy a meal with, even if it were someone as insufferable as Alhaitham, was an odd comfort.
“Mr. Kaveh, are you listening? Write this down so you won’t forget this time!”
One, two, three.
Kaveh repeated Alhaitham’s exercise, not to quell his temper as his roommate would need to, but to bottle up the intrusive mind racing about his mother.
About Alhaitham.
Kaveh blinked, rubbing the inner corners of his eyes with the knuckles of his index fingers before fishing out the notebook in his bag.
“My apologies, Miss Marie. I will work hard on this next draft to achieve your vision. Let’s go through as many details as possible.”
***
“Well, well, look who finally decided to show up?”
Alhaitham stood in the kitchen, arms tucked to his chest as he leaned against a counter, that ever-present straight line of disappointment on his lips.
“God, not now.” Kaveh gently sat Mehrak on the ground but tossed his bags and blueprints carelessly on the kitchen table. He grimaced, squeezing shut his eyes as he prodded his temples. “As you are well-aware, I’ve had a long day. Not to mention, I haven’t been able to sleep, and it seems as if I won’t for at least another week.”
“Real healthy lifestyle, Kaveh. Bet you forgot to eat lunch, too.”
“Like you care!” Kaveh turned away. “I’ll have you know, I got lunch with my client while we went over my proposed design.”
He wouldn’t mention how he had left the sandwich untouched while Marie went through every last detail she yearned to incorporate. This was also the reason why he returned home two hours later than usual.
“Stop lying. You also forgot that you said you’d make dinner for us tonight.”
Ugh, he had promised that hadn’t he? Well, whatever. Alhaitham was a grown man, perfectly capable of whipping something up for himself.
“Well, if you had even one empathetic bone in your body, you would have realized I was tied down by a client and could have taken over my duty for one night. You know I’d make up for it later in the week.”
The line on Alhaitham’s lips curved downward slightly, displeased as ever. “I couldn’t, actually, because our pantry is nearly empty. I counted on you to pick up some ingredients on the way home.”
Dinner for us. Our panty. Home.
Kaveh shouldn’t question a Haravatat scholar’s choice of words, yet…
“What do you want me to say? Sorry?” Kaveh threw his hands in the air before dropping them to his hips. “Sorry! I guess I ruined your whole evening, huh? Don’t I always?”
He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but his exhausted brain didn’t have the energy to be civil nor reasonable. This stupid argument would just go down in the book of their confusing relationship as another pointless spat. Another wrench thrown into the failing reconstruction of whatever they had in the past. A persistent wound that refused to heal.
“Do you?” Alhaitham rolled his eyes before turning around, retrieving a plate that’d been masked by his body. “I was going to choke this down, but since you’re here now, you have it.”
He slid the plate across the kitchen table. Freshly peeled and cut peaches wafted through Kaveh’s nose, and Alhaitham came behind with a spoon, shoveling a dollop of the cream Kaveh had whipped the other day next to the fruit.
“I think the whipped cream is still good. Maybe only eat half for now. I know you’ve been wanting to try that new restaurant, so might as well go tonight since the market is closed and we are both starving.”
“Oh.” Kaveh stared at the plate. Guilt, for forgetting to make dinner, combined with excitement, for Alhaitham finally entertaining the idea of joining him for a meal at this new restaurant, twisted oddly in his stomach. He picked up a slice, the tip of his tongue tracing the juice trailing down his finger after dropping the piece in his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought Alhaitham offered a smile.
But when he fully made eye contact, it was just his normal, indifferent expression.
“I shouldn’t really have this before we leave, then.”
Alhaitham shook his head. “No, eat up. With how little food you’ve been consuming, Archon knows how low your blood sugar is.”
“Since when do you care about my blood sugar? Is this something Tighnari put you up to?” he accused with a full mouth.
“I don’t. But if you pass out because it’s too low, I’d have to rearrange my schedule to take you to the hospital.”
“Ah, so I’d be a burden, in other words.”
“I didn’t quite say that. Besides, who would you rather take care of you in a situation concerning your health?”
No one.
“Pretty much anyone else in the world.”
Alhaitham cast his gaze downward. “Is that so? Well, whatever. I’m going to change into something else.” His eyes traveled up and down Kaveh in a way that had him turn his back to Alhaitham, hiding the dust of red on his cheeks.
“I’d advise you do the same. At least run a brush through your hair.”
“Excuse me?” Kaveh spun around, but Alhaitham was already halfway to his room.
Kaveh snatched the plate, holding it close to his stomach as he padded toward his own room. He stopped in front of the mirror he’d hung up just the other day, his red hairpins catching his attention. They sagged on the strands they were supposed to be holding back, likely due to Kaveh threading his fingers through his hair, prodding his scalp to calm the migraine Marie had been causing. He pulled the pins out one by one, placing them on his dresser as he entered his room.
God, it was a mess. Being on a time crunch to finish a project blinded him to everything but the materials that went into it. His crafting supplies was strewn across his desk, brushes crusted with dry paint because he forgot to set them in water to soak, broken pencils thrown on the ground because he was too focused to take a second to sharpen them, and piles of crumpled paper from his sketch book cluttered in a pile underneath his chair. If he threw them there, he wouldn’t see the accumulation of his mess-ups because he knew he’d dwell on how he couldn’t make things perfect the first time.
Cups of water and plates of half-eaten food topped most surfaces. He did notice those this morning and that was the reason he promised to make dinner for Alhaitham tonight. His roommate brought him snacks, so annoyingly intent on Kaveh eating, and the delivery didn’t go without some sort of criticism. Why don’t you take a shower? Do some laundry? Go to bed. Go to bed. GO TO BED.
Had it been Alhaitham’s persistent words or Kaveh’s hammer that made his ears ring? Kaveh didn’t know at the time, but he regretted ignoring the pita pocket Alhaitham had placed on the corner of his desk. He hadn’t noticed, in all honesty, and it was hard imagining that Alhaitham had actually brought it to begin with. But there it sat, cold and uneaten, and now a day old.
“I’ll apologize…” Kaveh whispered to himself. He brushed his hair back, collecting it his palm as he secured it off his neck with a cloth band. “I’ll clean up in the morning.”
He finished pinning back the strands he wanted and switched to a clean shirt. It was one Alhaitham had picked out for him, and even with how awful Alhaitham’s taste in décor and clothing was, Kaveh surprisingly liked it. Alhaitham had randomly brought it home one day, coyly saying it reminded him of a shirt Kaveh wore during their Akademiya days, and that he’d return it if Kaveh hated it.
Kaveh didn’t hate it one bit. In fact, the blue flowers embroidered on the chest pocket brought a smile to his face. It was simple other than that; plain and white with a deep neckline like the typical shirts he’d wear. It was indeed similar to one he had grown out of. The one he had worn the day he first spoke to Alhaitham.
“Ready?” Alhaitham poked his head in the doorway. “Going to keep me waiting longer?”
“Just give me a second, would you?” Kaveh said, rolling perfume onto his neck. “You waited this long. Don’t you want me to look nice?”
“You always do, let’s go.”
“What?”
“I said, let’s go.”
You always do.
He would just pretend he didn’t hear that.
***
“Just two.”
“Right this way, please.”
Alhaitham walked in front of Kaveh, his hands in his pockets. The restaurant was fancier than he’d imagined, but they’d both dressed appropriately enough. They followed the host to a table for two adorned with a small flowery centerpiece and candle. Two empty wine glasses sat ready to be filled. And fill his up Kaveh would.
“Oh my, do you see all the options! They must import wine from all over Teyvat!”
“They do, I believe. Will you opt for something you know you like, or try something different?”
Kaveh curled a finger to his chin, wrinkling his forehead as he scanned the vast list. “Something different, I think. But I’m worried I won’t like it and will be stuck drinking it.”
Alhaitham shook his head. “Don’t worry about that—I’ll drink it if that happens, and you can get something you know you like.”
Kaveh didn’t know why his cheeks burned, but they were warmed in the best way. “You don’t mind? I mean, you don’t have to pay for these meals, by the way. I owe it to you for not making dinner.”
“No, tomorrow you can worry about dinner. We’ll go to the market in the morning. Tonight is on me. Get what you want.”
Kaveh raised a single eye, peering at Alhaitham through narrowed eyes. “Truly? What’s the catch? I’ll need to make up for this somehow, right?”
Alhaitham sighed, closing his menu. “No, Kaveh. Will you let me prove to you that I have at least one empathetic bone in my body without a fuss?”
“Oh,” Kaveh said, wondering if his lack of sleep was beginning to trick his ears.
But maybe, in his delusion or not, if Alhaitham was willing to treat him to a nice dinner, then Kaveh should just let it happen.
“Without a fuss, huh?”
“Yes, I know that’s difficult for you.”
“Hey!” Kaveh poked Alhaitham in the shin with the point of his shoe. He chuckled and was happy to see that Alhaitham had even cracked a crooked smile.
“Well, if that’s the case, I’m going to try a peach rice wine from Inazuma.”
“Wow, it’s almost like your favorite fruit is a peach or something.”
“You know it is! And you enable my addiction to them!”
Alhaitham rested his elbows on the table and his chin on top of his connected hands. “Better than your addiction to wine. But here I am enabling both, I suppose.”
“I’m not complaining!”
If Kaveh was addicted to anything, it was the giddy feeling inside that only Alhaitham could bring out. A nostalgic feeling from the past, from when they were the best of friends.
Before the foundation they built their friendship on crumbled to the ground and was swept away in a great storm, the pieces too scattered and too damaged to be put back together.
And yet, why did it seem like over the past few months that Alhaitham had gone to the ends of the earth to collect as many of those lost pieces as he could find? At times, Kaveh thought the foundation could be repaired, that Alhaitham had found enough pieces to start the reconstruction. That even if some pieces were stuck in the past, lost in time forever, Kaveh had the power to slot in new ones. He could reinforce the parts if he wanted. He could make it work.
He glanced over the menu, warmed to find that Alhaitham was already peering back with that adorable smile he thought only his sweet junior from years back could produce.
Yes, Kaveh could make it work.
They ordered the drinks and food, and Kaveh placed the cloth napkin in his lap when the appetizer was delivered. He loved the wine he’d chosen and had already informed Alhaitham he’d be getting a second glass, to which the scribe shrugged and muttered another, get whatever you want, but don’t expect me to carry you home this time.
Up to this point, Kaveh hadn’t thought once about the disaster project waiting for him to fix on Monday. The client’s name hadn’t crossed his mind. No sudden waves of anxiety hit him, questioning if his mother would be proud, if his mother cared about him at all. It was just like how it was at the Akademiya where none of that mattered. It would be a Friday night just like this, Alhaitham in his dorm room, and they’d be discussing the book both had agreed to read. A topic chosen at random because they would have been eager to listen to each other’s opinions on it. Not afraid to challenge an idea and neither having too much pride to change their own minds.
“You know I’m going to ask.”
Kaveh stopped cutting into the piece of lamb on his plate. “Please don’t. We’re having a nice dinner.”
Alhaitham had the power to whisk Kaveh’s mind away from the real world but could just as easily bring him back to reality.
“It’ll still be a nice dinner, but I’d like to know why you’ve been neglecting yourself recently. You have a habit of ignoring your needs when working on commissions, but this one is worse than any before.”
You didn’t see me with the Palace of Alcazararay.
I wish you had. I wish you had been by my side then.
“Fine, but I expect dessert.”
“Greedy, but sure.”
“Whatever.”
Where even to begin?
“The client is a wealthy woman from Fontaine…”
He started from there, recounting how she contacted Kaveh. An acquaintance of his mother’s husband, or something. They’d met a week ago, and he promised her a rough draft blueprint a week later. He recounted how she hadn’t acknowledged that Kaveh did, in fact, lay out the structure she had in mind, but only focused on the details he supposedly missed. How she forced him to write down her desires verbatim and argued with Kaveh when he suggested a better way, a better material, a better idea. In the end, she finally asked him what the budget looked like, and he had to break the news that she had gone miles over her quote.
She accused him of ripping her off. He informed her his rates have historically been what they are, and that there weren’t too many ways to make a watery paradise in the desert more affordable.
“So, I assume she said she’d be able to come up with the extra capital?”
“She…said she’d think about it.”
“Kaveh…”
The cling of his fork dropping on his plate started both Alhaitham and the couple at the table beside them. But he really didn’t want to hear Alhaitham’s condescending ‘advice’ right now.
“I know, Haitham. I know. Before you say anything, I’m not planning on using my own funds for this project. The job site is safe, plus, I didn’t pick it out. If a withering zone decides to amazingly appear in the desert, that’s on the client this time.”
“Will you write up a contract? That you will cease construction if the cost exceeds ‘x’ amount of mora.”
Kaveh pushed a bite of potato around a puddle of gravy on his plate. “I could always lower my hourly rate-”
“Kaveh…”
“Stop ‘Kavehing’ me! I’ll figure it out. If I could make a profit off the original price that she was willing to pay, I could almost pay Dori back. And then…”
“And then move out.”
“Well…”
Alhaitham looked away, emptying the last of his wine down his throat. “It sounds to me like this woman has more mora than she knows what to do with, and a bizarre idea of how to make more. She doesn’t have a clue what she wants, I’m sure you see that, Kav. You’ll bring her a contract and new design next week, and she’ll change her mind again and again, ridicule your hard work until it drives you insane. Why put up with that?”
“Well, it’s my job to help people come up with a concise display of their dream building.”
“No, it’s not, actually. You are telling yourself that because you put your whole soul into the Palace instead of backing off like Dori told you to. You hated the way you felt when she criticized your placement of it on the cliffside and over a potential withering zone, and so you don’t have it in you to tell your clients their own ridiculous ideas are impossible.”
Kaveh’s eyes darted side to side, yearning to see the looks of disgust on the other patrons’ faces for hearing Alhaitham say that. But everyone was consumed by their own, more peaceful, conversations. Like the one they were just having. As always, Alhaitham was eager to ruin it.
“If I had left the project, the Palace wouldn’t exist. I’d be marked a failure and never see a commission again. But I didn’t, and it stands there on that cliffside. I made it work. I can make the impossible work!”
Can I truly make our friendship work? Can I recreate what we had?
“You no longer have the funds to make the impossible work.”
If he wasn’t in a tiny, quiet restaurant, if this argument were taking place at home, he’d scream out of frustration. And Alhaitham would stand there with a smirk of venom, Kaveh just knew it.
“Rubbing in how poor I am for following my dream; I would say this is a new low for you, Haitham, but I’m used to it by now.”
“I’m sorry you misinterpret nearly every word I say.”
“You aren’t sorry, in fact, I bet this is your way of telling me I don’t pay you enough rent. Because I’m too busy worrying about satisfying my clients to clean up and cook your dinner, huh?”
Before Alhaitham got a word in, Kaveh waved to the waitress, who hurried over.
“Yes, sir? Would you like to see the dessert menu?”
As Kaveh sternly said “no,” Alhaitham said an even sterner “yes.”
“No, I want to go home.”
“Ah, home, you say?” Alhaitham turned to the bewildered waitress. “One peach-cobbler to go, please. And one check when you get a chance.”
He stared at Kaveh with the same amount of calm as the lake outside of Sumeru City on a cloudless day, while Kaveh was a steaming pot of water threatening to boil over.
“Yes, I want to go home. So, I can start packing my bags.”
“And why would you do that?”
“To leave before you kick me out.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I never should have accepted your offer to be your roommate. I should’ve known there would be more conditions than mere rent-”
“Kaveh,” Alhaitham said, and Kaveh didn’t miss the desperation laced in his voice. To his surprise, Alhaitham moved his chair to the side of the table adjacent to Kaveh and boldly laid a warm hand on his knee. He inhaled a huge breath, puffing out his chest to accentuate this action as he peered into Kaveh’s eyes.
“You’re overthinking. Please, breathe.”
Kaveh obeyed, watching Alhaitham carry more scattered pieces of their lost friendship and put them back together. As much as he chided Kaveh for putting his heart and soul into a building, Alhaitham seemed intent to repair the structure he once adored.
The final pieces were the ones Kaveh needed to place. Afterall, he could build the impossible.
“I-I’m sorry.” A tear rolled down his cheek that Alhaitham was quick to wipe away.
“Don’t apologize. I have no plans to kick you out.”
“I know. I’m just being too sensitive, as you say.”
The tender touch on Kaveh’s knee grew more firm. More sincere.
“No, you wouldn’t be Kaveh if you didn’t fight for your ideals or if your heart wasn’t displayed for all to see on your sleeve. Understand that I merely want you to reel in your self-destructive behavior. And that I want to help you do so.”
Alhaitham’s voice was gentle, seemingly out of character for the grand scribe, but welcomed and well-known in Kaveh’s heart.
“Thank you,” Kaveh whispered, offering a genuine smile that was mirrored right back.
It was silent between them as they waited for the boxed dessert and check. When Kaveh rested his hand on Alhaitham’s under the table, Alhaitham took Kaveh’s, his hold on it both tender and firm.
With the tab paid and dessert in hand, they stepped out into a pleasant evening breeze. The walk home was silent, but Kaveh, emboldened by whatever force silently laid out a peace treaty between them, snaked an arm around the small of Alhiatham’s back, securing his hand on the younger one’s waist, and tilting his head on to his broad shoulder. It’s something he did back in the Akademiya days, and something he’s yearned to do since. If they wandered by anyone who saw, it didn’t matter. He was certain half the city knew of their living arrangements already.
Alhaitham reciprocated the touch by draping an arm on Kaveh’s shoulders, his fingers closing around Kaveh’s deltoid.
“Now or later?”
Alhaitham held the packaged treat in front of Kaveh as they entered through their front door.
“Later. I’m…” Kaveh yawned, stretching his arms high above his head. “I’m quite tired.”
“I bet you are after those three glasses of wine.”
Kaveh waggled his finger in Alhaitham’s face. “Two and a half! You stole half of the second glass. Get your own next time.”
“Mm, nah, taking yours is more fun.”
Kaveh groaned, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands.
“Take a shower and get ready for bed. I just want to clean up a bit.”
“You cleaning up? I must be dreaming.”
“Don’t get used to it. Now, go on.”
A rush of heat kissed Kaveh’s cheeks when Alhaitham rubbed a circle on his lower back before shoving him playfully down the hallway. Kaveh looked over his shoulder, finding a cat-like grin on his junior’s face, and Kaveh couldn’t help but stick his tongue out menacingly. When Alhaitham disappeared into their kitchen, Kaveh turned on the bathroom lights and the shower’s faucet.
He peeled his clothes off and got the additional soap scrubs he loved to pamper himself with from under the sink. He ended up taking twice as long in the shower as he normally would have, but it was well-needed. Though he was still exhausted, he felt refreshed. It was like there had been a layer of grimy failure coating his skin for not getting the client’s vision right, but he’d cleansed himself of it, ready to begin anew when the time came.
“Oh! God, Alhaitham, you startled me. What are you doing in my bed?”
Kaveh grasped the towel around his waist, ensuring it stayed secured, but he wobbled from the top-heavy weight of another towel drying his hair.
“Technically I own the bed, so.”
“So? That means you can impede on my private…” He paused, his eye catching the neatly stacked blueprint paper beside his desk. The half-eaten plates of food and cups of water and wine had disappeared. That mound of rejected ideas balled up under his desk chair were nowhere to be found. Mehrak sat in sleep-mode on his dresser, and all his pencils and paints and tools were tidied away neatly.
He turned back to his bed. The sheets were fresh and spread out neatly over the mattress and Alhaitham.
“…space?”
“You’ll need to do your laundry tomorrow because I couldn’t find any of your sleeping shirts, so I brought one of mine for tonight.” He nodded toward the foot of the bed where he’d placed a t-shirt and pair of boxers.
“You…you didn’t have to clean all this up for me. I would have done so in the morning,” Kaveh said quietly, his heart swelling in his chest.
“I know, but now you don’t have to worry about it and can spend more of the day doing what you want. After you do your laundry and come to the market with me, of course.”
“Yeah, that’s true…still…”
Kaveh took the boxers and stared at Alhaitham.
“I have a higher tolerance for messes than you do. I know this because you scold me for leaving my stuff everywhere even when it’s only a book or two out of place. You say it distracts your work if your environment isn’t in order. So, I thought that maybe you’d sleep better, too.”
Leave it to Alhaitham to always feel the need to prove Kaveh wrong. He did, in fact, have an empathetic bone or two in his body.
“Anyway, I’ll give you some privacy to dress.” He leaned his head back against the pillow and laid his open book across his face. “I’m not looking.” His voice was muffled against the pages.
Kaveh chuckled into the back of his hand, retrieving the over-sized shirt. He missed how Alhaitham could be randomly goofy. If only he showed this side of himself to everyone, he’d be perceived as a more likeable person. But at the same time, Kaveh adored that his junior only revealed his true self to him. Whether it was his soft, apparently empathetic side, his silly, nonchalant teasing, his brutal, blunt honesty, or his annoying temper, all of it was for Kaveh to see, and only Kaveh.
They had always meant so much to each other, and probably always would.
Kaveh swam in Alhaitham’s shirt. There was no way he didn’t have some ratty, old, clean shirt shoved in one of his drawers that he could have used, but Alhaitham was probably courteous enough not to go digging around Kaveh’s things. Kaveh grinned to himself, his heart skipping a beat because maybe, just maybe, Alhaitham wanted to see Kaveh wearing something of his.
“You’re probably not getting this shirt back, you know,” Kaveh teased, slipping under the sheets on his side of the bed.
And he had no clue how he didn’t notice before, but while Kaveh preferred going to sleep pant-less, Alhaitham preferred not to wear a shirt. He saw him like this often, walking around the house or lounging on the divan, but never this close. He never had trouble keeping his hands to himself, but boy, Alhaitham and his chiseled chest was truly testing him.
“Thank you,” Kaveh said on his side. “For tonight. I needed it.”
“I know,” Alhaitham said, taking his eyes off his book to offer Kaveh a smile.
“Will you stay until I fall asleep?”
“I’ll stay until morning, if that’s alright with you.”
Kaveh pulled the covers to his chin, hiding the giddy smile on his lips. He nodded, scooting closer to Alhaitham’s side. They shared a bed often during their school days as Alhaitham would usually be the one to fall asleep first, and Kaveh had never felt the need to wake him and force him back to his own dorm. Sharing Kaveh’s bed had become a common occurrence, a natural bedtime or napping ritual.
And that must be the reason why he felt so at ease now. His bed, his junior. His best friend no matter what.
“Kaveh?”
“Mhm?”
“I’m proud of you for taking time for yourself tonight in a manner that was not self-destructive.”
“Oh,” Kaveh said, pulling his knees to his chest. “Well, it’s thanks to you, honestly, for taking me out. Even now, I’m at peace. You know I’d be drinking myself to death at the tavern otherwise.”
“I know,” he repeated in a whisper.
Kaveh closed his eyes and felt a warm hand caress his cheek and fingers loop through his wet hair. He leaned into the touch, being lulled to sleep by the soft thumb rubbing up and down his cheek bone.
“It’s nice to take a step away from the chaotic world, you know? The world is still spinning, I’m still in massive debt, and I’ll still have to worry about that client on Monday, but for now, I’m relieved of it all. Outside, Sumeru City is alive and bustling, but I’m content just to be here away from it all. Give my mind a rest. It’s refreshing, actually. It’s…”
It’s a quenching sip of water, it’s a splash in the face, it’s the rare pond in the desert that cools him off.
It’s an oasis. Alhaitham was his oasis.
It all made sense. Alhaitham provided Kaveh with this space to get away, to clear his mind. He gave him a place to live and decorate to his heart’s content, a warm bed and fresh fruits, a spot dedicated to his craft. Kaveh rarely had to be alone as he was welcome to share the books in Alhaitham’s library and divans in their shared space where they often lounged together.
But Alhaitham offered much more than that. He provided Kaveh with arguments containing more questions than answers. He presented Kaveh with the truth, his honest opinions, as harsh as they were, and as much as Kaveh hated hearing them. There were more topics they disagreed on than not, but that was okay because this environment allowed Kaveh to be angry and to challenge Alhaitham’s views and vice versa. They weren’t perfect—they never would be—and there will be days that they’ll give each other the cold shoulder.
But it’s okay!
Because Alhaitham would always have Kaveh’s best interests at heart, and whether he showed it with anger or frustration, it didn’t matter. Only he knew how to communicate with Kaveh in a way that Kaveh would actually listen.
“It’s…?” Alhaitham continued. He left his palm pressed to Kaveh cheek as he awaited the answer.
“It’s you, Hayi.”
The one his mind drifted to always. The pillar in his life, sturdy and ever standing. His oasis and wonderwall all at once.
Alhaitham laughed quietly. “Me? Go to sleep, Kaveh, you’re no longer making sense. I’ll only read for a bit longer.”
With that, he took Kaveh’s hand and laced their fingers. Kaveh held their locked hands against his chest.
This was the junior he remembered. The man his junior became was standing next to the foundation of their friendship, waiting patiently for Kaveh to finish the final repairs. The part where he’d make it work.
Yes, they’d make this work.
Kaveh would keep this oasis thriving now and forever.
And after all, you’re my wonderwall.