Chapter Text
Shauna Shipman’s freshman year had been anything but fresh. Or exciting or new or fun. In the span of the year, she had gotten chicken pox, kissed a slobbery boy at a party, and found out about her parent's divorce through her hairdresser.
“Oh yeah, you needed the trim. Just look at all these split ends.” Helen said as she aggressively sniped Shauna's hair. “Just like your mom. You know she was here last week, and I was so excited to give her a refresh. This whole divorce thing must be so hard for her. For both of you” She said sympathetically but that couldn’t stop the world from crumbling before Shauna’s feet.
She got in the car with her mom after and cried and screamed at her for keeping it from her. When they got home, Shauna locked herself in her room and took a nap. She woke up at around 9 p.m. and went downstairs to find her mom watching TV on the couch. She wordlessly snuggled up to her and they both watched TV acknowledging each other's pain silently.
Shauna’s grades during all of this had taken a light dip but not a huge one. Studying with Taissa had helped her be on track with everything and keep deadlines in order. She had met Tai when they were in middle school. They took all the same advanced classes and played on the same soccer team outside of school. They didn’t really hang outside of this, but they had grown fond of each other and admired each other’s brains and tenaciousness. It was a friendship based on a mutual understanding of each other's differences and hardships. Shauna was the only person Tai felt comfortable showing her weaknesses to and Tai was the only person Shauna felt like she could show her dark side to and not be judged for it.
They were currently studying for a history final during study hall. They had been studying for about 20 minutes when Tai spoke up. “I think you should try out for the JV team”.
Shauna looked up confused “Because that way I can ensure the Union wins the Civil War?” she replied sarcastically.
“I’m serious Shauna” Tai said rolling her eyes at her response. “I know last year you said you didn’t want to play soccer anymore because you missed having free time at home. But…” Tai paused looking at her sympathetically knowing that if she brought up the divorce Shauna wouldn’t let her finish talking. “I just think it would be good for you to get back in and play like old times. Plus, it looks half decent on a college application.”
Shauna sighed deeply. “I appreciate it, Tai. I do. But I can’t” Shauna looked back down at her book avoiding Tai’s gaze. “Playing would just remind me of how things were before this shit show of a year.”
“I know,” Taissa said solemnly. “I still think it’s a good way to make sure next year starts off different”. Taissa reached over and closed her book earning a scoff from Shauna. “Tryouts are next week and I really miss playing with you. So please, just go and we can play together like we used to. And then whether you get picked or not, you get to choose, and I won't ask again.”
Shauna looked at her seriously.
“I promise,” Tai said responding to her blank stare.
Shauna looked away, crossed her arms, and sat back. “I’ll think about it,” she said and offered Tai a tight smile. Tai in return had to hide her grin and shiny eyes to not overwhelm her friend.
Next week Shauna showed up at tryouts. As much as she hated to admit it, Tai was right. She needed to get out of her slump. And even if soccer wasn’t her first option to do so, it was a start.
When she got there, Tai was chatting with this year’s captain. Taissa had been named captain by Coach Martinez a couple of weeks ago, so she was semi-in charge of today’s tryouts. Semi because she had to share opinions and make decisions alongside this year’s captain and the other best player on the team.
Shauna sat on the grass and started lacing up her cleats when Tai jogged over to her.
“I’m very excited that you’re here but I want to make sure everybody knows I'm the most objective person here. So, I will be ignoring and not smiling at you today.” Tai said with an emotionless face ensuring her demeanor didn’t give away she knew Shauna.
“You know I have no problem with that,” Shauna said smiling and rolling her eyes at her friend’s social (or antisocial) effort.
“Ok, last thing. Other than me, Jackie Taylor, Number 9 is also in the decision-making today. So, keep an eye out if she plays close by to you.”
“Ok, sure,” Shauna said nonchalantly while finishing tying her shoes.
“Good luck” Tai said and got up and walked away to talk to Coach Martinez.
Tryouts started by warming up doing drills and footwork. This felt easy for Shauna. Her feet understood what they were doing before her brain could catch up. Muscle memory kept her ahead during this portion. She spotted Number 9 while they were doing sprints. She didn’t think she would be the second best to Tai. She had heard of Jackie Taylor before, but all she knew about her was that she was rich, popular, superficial, and pretty. And from the little that she’s seen, Shauna believes she’s dead on. She’s heard her house was huge (rich, check), she’s heard about her from other people who don’t know her (popular, check), she’s seen how overdressed she’s gone to school before (superficial, check), and she was looking at her right now and she looked pretty (check).
After drills ended, they divided the group so they could scrimmage. Shauna was paired with Tai, which was a leg up for her because Tai already knew her style of play.
The field starts to buzz with anticipation as the girls hustle and warm up before the whistle blows. Shauna honestly didn’t want to make the team, until this moment. She was running on adrenaline, feeling a rush she didn’t remember she missed.
Coach Martinez blows the whistle, signaling the start of the scrimmage. The ball zips across the field as both teams dash to gain possession. In an instant, the field becomes a flurry of movement, a dance of precision and strategy. Both teams engaged in a rapid exchange of passes, each possession a potential opportunity and a chance to gain the upper hand.
According to Tai, neither she nor the players evaluating got to make goals. This helped them see who could be a potential striker. After the first half, their team was down 1-0. The other team had snagged a goal having better footwork than their defender. Tai looked at Shauna determined to not let that happen again. They both hated losing and knew each other's potential when challenged. They moved with synchronized determination, orchestrating plays from the midfield, directing passes and calls, urging teammates with precise gestures.
Jackie caught on fast to this and begun to mirror their intensity. She became swift and calculated, seizing moments of vulnerability and pushing back with equal force.
Jackie ran down the field close to the goal, ready to pass when Shauna gently snagged the ball from her feet and kicked it far so they couldn’t score. Jackie looked at her wide-eyed, shocked at how easily Shauna had seized her. She hadn’t even noticed Shauna was near her.
Tai got a hold of Shauna's pass and kept it close to their goal. Nonetheless, another freshman playing on Jackie’s team, Lottie, got possession. Shauna didn't know anything about Lottie. The only thing she knew, was what she was learning right now and it was that Lottie was tall and fast. Her speed and agility pissed Shauna off. She wasn’t going to lose a stupid scrimmage.
Before Lottie could keep advancing with the ball to her goal, Shauna lunged toward her and shoved her roughly with her shoulder, sending her off-balance. Lottie doesn’t fall, but the move clears a path and Shauna advances gracefully to shoot a perfect goal. The team erupts in cheers that are interrupted by someone objecting to the play.
“Hey what was that?” Jackie screams from the other end of the field. “I saw that. That was dirty play!” Jackie is fuming.
“It's fine. I’m okay” Lottie says hoping it’ll calm Jackie down.
“No, it’s not fine. That shit doesn’t fly on the real field” Jackie replied. “Coach, did you see that? That can't count.”
Coach just shrugs his shoulder. “I’m sorry Taylor if there was a dirty play, I didn’t see it from this angle. The goal counts”
Jackie huffs and storms off back to her position. Shauna smiles but attempts to get back into game mode so she doesn’t appear smug. Jackie caught her smug expression, however. Only angering her more.
The game goes on, but it ends as a tie. They all clap, pat themselves on the shoulder, and gently high-five between mutters of “good game”. The only person who doesn’t acknowledge Shauna with a pat on the back or a “good game” is Jackie who rolls her eyes at her and tells her “That goal shouldn't have counted. So I'm not counting it.”
Shauna feels intimidated by her anger for a second, but then quickly finds it hilarious. Jackie Taylor is pissed at her because she shoved someone. Jackie doesn’t even know Lottie. Jackie doesn’t even know Shauna. Ridiculous. In the same beat, Shauna reaches out to pat Jackie’s shoulder but uses the opportunity to pull her in and whisper in her ear. “Good thing it's not up to what you think counts then, huh?” Shauna bit back and pulled back quickly continuing to pat and congratulate other teammates leaving Jackie shocked at her arrogance.
After they finished, Shauna’s mom came to pick her up and Shauna felt the happiest she’s felt in months.
Tai, Jackie, and last year's captain, Amy stayed to discuss their top picks. Coach left them to it and told them to bring back a roster tomorrow afternoon so he can give final approval. The girls began going over their obvious picks and discarded the weakest players.
“Okay who do we want for a goalie?” Tai asked.
“Well, what are our options? The dyke or the short one?” Amy asked chuckling. Tai and Jackie both went quiet narrowing their eyes at her.
“Grow up Amy,” Jackie said seriously. “It’s a stupid thing to say. And even if these aren’t your future teammates, they're ours. Be nice.” Jackie replied fighting back the annoyance she felt at her teammate's ill-intentioned joke.
“Okay jeez. I didn’t think it was that bad.”
“Well, it is, so let's not have that happen again” Tai replied curtly. “I vote for Van, other than Shauna’s goals, there were more attempts on her side and none went in”
“I agree, plus she seems kinder. Sydney didn’t really talk a whole lot or made an effort to be part of the team.” Jackie added.
“Okay then it's settled then” Amy replied writing her name down embarrassed at the recent scolding.
“On that same note, I also think Shauna should be on the team” Tai said.
“I agree, her goal was fast and clean” Amy replied.
“Absolutely the fuck not. There was nothing clean about that goal. She pushed Lottie.” Jackie argued.
“She shoved Lottie. and it got her team a goal. I think it's fine” Amy replied.
“Amy if she's doing shit like that at a tryout scrimmage who knows what she's capable of in a real game” Jackie bit back crossing her arms. “She could make us lose games.”
“Or she can help us win them. I think the team is missing that edge.” Tai replied.
Jackie stared at her dumbfounded. She raised her eyebrows and uncrossed her arms. “Okay fine, but if anything happens, you’re in charge of that mess Tai. I’m serious. I don’t like that girl, she’s cocky and too unpredictable.”
“It's gonna be fine Jackie. I think she’ll help us get far.” Tai reassured her.
They kept going down their list of names until they were satisfied with their roster. The next day they met with Coach Martinez who agreed and approved of all their choices.
By the next Monday, Coach had put up the list of the players who made it with dates for next year’s practices before the season started. Shauna had avoided the lists all day. She also asked Tai to keep it cool because she wanted to find out herself, not through her. She was too scared to see the list. She actually wanted to make the team. Looking forward to practicing if she made it, even. It scared her to get her hopes up like that.
Finally, at the end of the school day, she waited until the hallways emptied. After she felt like enough people had left, she walked up to a wall with the list. The names were in alphabetical order. She let her eyes swim quickly across the page until they landed on her name. Shauna made the team. She couldn't believe it. She was going to do something different next year, she was going to play with Tai again, she was doing something for herself. As a million thoughts and feelings went through her brain a voice snapped her out of it.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” Jackie said from behind her. Shauna turned wide-eyed, not expecting anyone to be around. “But congratulations anyway, Shipman. See you on the field” Jackie smiled coldly and walked away.