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Perhaps saying that Vertin loathes the idea of soulmates would be too much, loathe being a word too strong. Dislike, maybe, but not because of how much Matilda talked about it like soulmates are unavoidable or the fact that SPDM believed the concept of such to also be pointless.
She dislikes it, because being the Timekeeper does not exactly give her the ability to be hopeful about meeting her own soulmate. She's suffered enough departures and separations from people she's barely known yet found herself loved. She's well aware of the pain that accompanies every goodbyes said to her, and even more from all the ones left unsaid as the Storm washes away everyone she meets along the way.
So the thought of meeting her soulmate never occurred to her. If anything, she remembers lying on the bed of the SPDM dormitories while looking up at the ceiling and thinking, 'I hope I never meet my soulmate.'
Because what kind of soulmate would ever want a person like her? They're better off with someone else, way better than being acquainted with the Timekeeper dangling on the strings of the Foundation.
She wouldn't want her soulmate to be made an example out of, like the ones before them who didn't even bear her mark.
Vertin finds then that maybe she should have prayed to God harder. That maybe, she should have prayed instead to have never had a soulmate to begin with, even as the pale white pigeon marked on the side of her neck—hidden using arcanum, ever a helpful tool—glowed brightly under the dark.
Schneider comes like an unforgiving whirlwind, a finger on her gun's trigger and a lazy smile on her face. She laughs at their faces, shooting without remorse. She's a ruthless storm, not unlike the reversing one, and left behind gaping wounds in her wake.
It was supposed to be simple, restraining her that is. She and Sonetto were SPDM's top students (and are two of the Foundation's best) and Mr. APPle proved that his insights were very valuable as well. With the three of them, they should at least be able to prevent her from accomplishing whatever task was given to her by the Manus Vindictae. And yet—
There's a sinking feeling in her gut as she stood before the girl, the same feeling she got during that one fateful stormy night when she was offered the position of Timekeeper. Even more, her heart beats loud in her chest as if seeking someone else's that is just a distance in front of her.
“Answer my question.” She could hardly even recognize her own voice, words forming automatically like she's on auto-pilot. She can be thankful for the teachings of SPDM later in being able to carry out her missions even when cold dread washes over her, like she was being doused with a bucket of water full of ice.
There is something burning on her skin, steadily becoming unbearable the longer she spends memorizing the girl's face and she doesn't want to think about it in fear that it'll become the deciding factor of this mission.
“Mmhm, that's harsh~” Schneider grins at her, a teasing lilt to her voice as if everything was simply a game to her. “We are just onto the same guy. Before the ‘ Storm ’, everyone wants more useful guys.”
It stings , as if wanting attention from Vertin but she doesn't— she can't—
“In that way, your destiny and mine… Are they now tightly connected?”
Unable to hold it in anymore, Vertin lets out a gasp, a hand flying to the mark on her neck just as Schneider did the same to her wrist. Sonetto's eyes widened, while Mr. APPle let out a surprised sound at the sudden turn of events.
No, she thinks to herself in horror. This is the worst possible thing that could have happened.
When she looks up, she finds Schneider looking at her with an indescribable expression. The world comes to a stand still around them, the ticking of the device that counts down the last hours of this year wrapped around Vertin's wrist the only thing that remained loud amidst the raging storm brewing inside her chest.
The white pigeon on the side of her neck continues to burn.
And so does her own mark on the inside of Schneider's wrist.
She met her soulmate on the 14th of February, she had realized late. In the future, she looks back at it with a hint of bitter fondness. It was Valentine's Day. The world must have hated her a lot to do that.
“To be precise—” Mr. APPle bobbed up and down, “it was on the day that the Saint Valentine's Day Massa-mmpfh?!”
“Shh! Vertin's being emotional and you just had to ruin it—”
How would one cope with the knowledge that you were the one who nailed your soulmate to her own coffin?
There's comfort in how Vertin never has to find out. There's relief, in how Vertin rushes to Schneider's side with the rowan branch held tightly in her hand finally coming to a still.
“I found you…!” She pants out, kneeling on the floor next to the other girl, hovering a finger under her nose and keeping an eye on the movements of her chest. She's still breathing. Vertin feels the weight on her shoulders disappear, suddenly feeling so dizzy.
She's breathing, she's alive .
Somehow, that knowledge alone allowed Vertin to breathe too.
“Schneider…” She reaches out to check her pulse next, afraid that she might have judged wrong because of how badly she wished to be proven wrong, that she hadn't been the one to kill her after all.
She holds her own breath.
It's weak, but there.
She's alive. She actually is alive.
From the looks of it, arcanum was used to keep her alive. On the brink of death, yes, but enough to prevent her from tipping over the edge. She doesn't want to know why that was, especially not after seeing Arcana's expression once she found out that the two of them were each other's soulmates.
“First aid…” She doesn't have much on her other than the potions she's brought but if they don't work, she's still an arcanist herself and she can do this—
“My lord…?”
Vertin's gaze snaps towards Schneider's face, eyes widening as the girl's eyes slowly flutter open. “Schneider, shhh, don't talk. You'll hurt yourself—”
The corners of her lips tugged upwards, those wine red eyes that were slightly glassy looking at her with so much relief it hurts . She wonders how she looked like too, finding her supposed soulmate lying in a pool of her own blood that she had caused herself. Does she look devastated? “Am I… seeing things?” She says, voice weak and small, “Or are you missing me… just as I am missing you?”
A giggle leaves her lips before it turns to a fit of coughs. Vertin furrows her brows, reaching out a hand in an attempt to hold her upright. She can't find it in herself to stop the mafioso from speaking, a part of her wanting to hear more. To hear her voice again, no longer drowned by the sound of people finding happiness in the chaos that the two of them were the center of. In a room of just the two of them, Vertin finds herself wanting more.
“Holding me… so tightly…” She takes a stuttering breath, her face pinched in pain. It snaps Vertin back to reality. Of how Schneider is still bleeding, injured badly from their shoot out and that if she doesn't do anything, then she'll die and the only thing Marian will get would be the cold corpse of her own sister riddled with bullet holes.
Forcing down everything else, Vertin hauls Schneider to a better position, an arm around her shoulders and one hand easily opening the potion before shoving it to Schneider's face for her to drink. “You're fine, thank god. Here, drink these.”
And as if rejuvenated from those words alone, Schneider forces out another round of teasing words. “T-Too rough, my lord! We just met…”
But for all of Vertin's attempts to appear as distanced and composed as possible with her—
She can't help the warmth that spread in her chest, nor the way she flushed pink at her words.
She's lucky that Schneider is still way too out of it to notice. Would she have delighted in that, being capable of flustering the Foundation's very own Timekeeper? Is that why she keeps saying such ambiguous words?
There's a brief pause, before the girl in question scrunches her face up, pushing away the potion held by Vertin after having drank it anyways even with her complaints. “It tastes… awful.”
Nevermind, Vertin suddenly feels stupid for thinking that Schneider said those words not just for the sake of it, for thinking that maybe Schneider wanted to see how she'd react too. “Eat these too.”
When she had gone to check her pulse, she couldn't help but run her thumb over Schneider's mark that glowed even under the warm lighting of the room. She would have thought that it'd be something like a stopwatch. After all, she's the Timekeeper, isn't she?
She was proven wrong, as the mark on her neck warmed. What greeted her wasn't any marks that symbolized time.
It's a pigeon like the one on her, with feathers she thinks are the same shade as her own locks of hair.
Freedom , she thinks. Love , she thinks too.
Fatigue is a feeling that accompanies her with the line of work she's been chosen for, it's by no means a foreign thing to her but she admits that this is the first time she's felt so so spent.
All around her, she can hear her companions cheering for their success over repelling Arcana's forces. She can let them be, the ground feels strangely refreshing even if she knows she'll be made fun of by the voice again later on for rolling around the mud like some. Some pig, or whatever insult it'll muster up with its childish creativity. She can deal with that. Or ignore it. She'll cross the bridge when she gets there.
However…
“Blessings be unto you, whose people shall become no more in hours.”
Somehow, she can't help but repeat the ominous words that Arcana has uttered moments before she had set her puppets loose at them. Even just remembering it sent a chill down Vertin's spine, dread pooling in her stomach again.
She's just overthinking it. Yeah. It's just the fatigue getting to her head. She's already been able to confirm with Regulus that her suitcase is able to save arcanists from the storm and her companions are all arcanists.
Speaking of which—
Integrating Schneider in the Foundation will certainly be difficult, what with her not so clean track record but Vertin isn't afraid to throw her weight around as Timekeeper. And surely, the Foundation will find it even more tempting to have another card against her right?
It'll be difficult. But it'll be worth it.
She's saving one more life after all, wasn't that what the Foundation wanted from her?
(She pretends that she's not doing this out of selfish consideration for the one bearing her mark because that's very unprofessional and if there was one thing Madam Z had drilled into her when it came to dealing with Foundation matters is that to use logic over emotions.)
There are six more hours until the Storm comes to wash away this year, and still Vertin worries.
“How shall we spend… the last hours?” She mutters to herself, eyes fluttering to a close. The rain continues to pour all around and over her and it's starting to get a bit cold. She might start shivering any second now, if she wasn't already. “And… what can I do?”
They deserve some compensation, for fighting with her. For fighting for the same goal as her, instead of falling into the hands of Manus Vindictae.
They… really deserve some compensation, at least. Especially Sotheby and Schneider. Because Vertin already knows that she can't save everyone. Mr. Karson and Marian… they'll disappear alongside everything and everyone else that aren't arcanists sheltered by her suitcase.
“Let's hear everyone's wishes. How about that?”
There are no longer raindrops hitting her skin, and a certain someone's voice (ever so gentle and soft, fleeting like the feathers that adored her body) floats above the sound of the falling rain. It jolts Vertin back to awareness, raising the arm she's been using to cover her eyes off of her face to meet Schneider's smiling visage.
The pigeon on her neck warms.
“Schneider…” She says in surprise, before scanning the girl for any of her injuries she sustained the night before. They all seem to be healing up nicely, did the others provide their help after all?
That's good .
Schneider's eyes gain a mischievous glint in them as she hovers over Vertin. The red umbrella held in her hand covers the two of them, not just from the rain but from everyone's sight too.
“My lord, you're actually lying here defenseless…” She starts with a chuckle, and—hm?
Isn't she getting a bit too close? Or is Vertin simply losing it? However, Vertin can't open her mouth to say anything because her throat suddenly feels so dry.
“We have been with you for a long time. No reward? No way…”
What is she saying now—
“...?!”
Warm lips pressed against her own, taking her by complete surprise.
And— it was gone as fast as it came, Sonetto's alarmed shouts taking a few seconds to process inside of Vertin before she realized what had happened.
“Schneider, what are you doing! Don't suddenly get so close to her!”
But Vertin thinks that even if Sonetto screamed right next to her ears, she wouldn't still be able to remove her attention from the black haired arcanist that now smiled slyly towards Sonetto's direction.
It took Sonetto being actually right in front of her face, hauling her up from her position on the ground, for Vertin to finally gather her wits back. “Sonetto…” And even then, everything still sounded so far away.
“Timekeeper, the supplies have been counted—wait, T-Timekeeper, you're turning red. Are you okay? Wait, maybe you're sick from being under this rain far too long—”
And she can hear Schneider laugh from afar, already turning away before Sonetto can even blame Vertin's 'sickness' on her.
She has a beautiful laugh, Vertin thinks in a daze as Sonetto helps her up.
She'd love to hear more of it.
Her lips back then had tasted faintly of blood and orange, if she were ever asked about it. Not a pleasant combination but it has made its mark on Vertin and she knows she'll always be haunted by it.
She knows what's coming already, so Vertin tries to keep her head down and focuses on the food offered in front of her.
She doesn't want to see it, for she's seen enough. Mr. Karson's voice, carrying a conversation with his young lady, enters one ear and leaves from the other. She doesn't want to remember his voice too, the process of forgetting is an ache in her heart she knows she can't bear for too much or else she'll find herself inside the darkness of her mind.
Around her, everyone enjoys the feast even as the end looms above their head.
She's envious of them. But at the same time—
The watch on her hand ticks down to 0.
It's here.
Mr. Karson goes first and it causes Vertin's grip on the utensils to turn tighter until she loosens them just enough to drop them on the table and hide her hands on her lap instead. She lets out a stuttering breath, her jaw set tight once Sotheby's sobs ring in the air.
Sonetto stands up, ever the kind heart, to comfort the other. At the same time, it also allowed Vertin a better view of Schneider, the hand that the black haired girl was using to hold her sister's hand now empty.
Vertin's lips shakes.
“Schneider… I'm sorry. Your family…” She chokes out, her voice unsteady and faint. She can't save Marian when she so badly wanted to. For Schneider. But she's helpless and powerless and there's nothing she can do.
God, she's so sorry. Why couldn't she save them? Why is it that people have to leave? Why, why, why —
Schneider shakes her head sadly, a weak laugh leaving her lips. “No, my lord…”
The dread that filled Vertin just a couple hours ago under that pouring rain comes back full force, the Timekeeper standing up abruptly to catch Schneider in her arms as her chair topples backwards.
Thud!
The pale pigeon dressed in crimson feathers tightens her hold on Vertin, her fingers curling against the fabric of her jacket with her knuckles turning to ghastly white color.
“Hold me.” Schneider whispers against her, raising her head to look at Vertin better.
Her eyes, the color of red wine, are turning glassy from the tears she refuses to shed. They glitter under the light, beautiful yet so sad.
“S-Schneider, what…”
“I am sorry.”
And then—
“I am not a real arcanist.”
“Blessings be unto you, whose people shall become no more in hours.”
Vertin staggers backwards, suddenly lightheaded from the words that Schneider had just uttered. “No.” Someone says.
“You're lying.” That's Vertin's voice. That's her own voice. “W-What do you mean by that? You—”
But she has never shown herself to be affected by the Storm syndrome, she never ate the gold bars in front of them so—
“You're lying.” Vertin repeats again, her voice more resolute this time. Yes. That must be it. She's just lying, she's always done that. Maybe she just wanted to fluster her again, saying these kinds of things. It's okay though, she can keep saying all of those and Vertin will let her. “You're staying right? I can— I can give you shelter from the Storm. I can protect you, please Schneider. Please let me—”
But all of her words and promises died in her throat once she caught a glimpse of Schneider's expression.
She's smiling.
She's—
Her chest tightens at the sight. No…
Schneider is smiling, yet there are tears now running down her face.
“I'm sorry.” Schneider whispers, “But I should say addio now.”
Her mark burns like never before and she's sure the one on Schneider is the same as well. But the pain doesn't compare at all to this.
“You're lying. You're lying, you're a liar Schneider.” There's a manic kind of laugh that wants to escape from her lips but Vertin swallows all of that too, alongside everything else that she feels like she's not brave enough to say yet. “You'll be fine. S-See? You're still here.”
Please don't leave me too. You can't.
Schneider shakes her head, snuggling up to her and it feels like the last time. She wants to tell her that she'll let her do anything, screw the Foundation. If she wants to run away then… then…
I beg of you. You're—
“I love you, my lord.” Her words are quiet, yet her heart beats loudly against Vertin's own. “Please don't forget me.”
I love you too, I'll say it again and again. Just don't go—
“Don't forget my heartbeat on the right.” One final wish.
She doesn't know what hurt more.
If it was the burning mark on the side of her neck, now subsiding after it realized that its lost its pair.
Or the sight of her hands where only red feathers and a black coat remained.
A cry tears itself out from the back of her throat as the world collapses around her.
Once upon a time, Vertin asked God to never let her meet her soulmate.
But God has never bowed down to a mortal's wishes and instead, allowed her to meet a girl dressed in crimson with blood on her hands.
A day was all they had together.
“Vertin, you're up again.”
It's another late night, her office dimly lit by the moonlight shining from outside as well as the lamp set on top of her desk. But when her door creaked open, Vertin found herself face to face with Druvis.
“Oh, hi.” She blinks away the sleepiness that had threatened to pull her down under. Actually, what time is it even now? A quick glance to her right tells her it's around 2 am. “I am, uh.” She winces when she finds she can't say anything in defense when she should be asleep inside her own room to recuperate from having spent quite a long time dreaming.
Druvis shakes her head in disappointment, locking the door behind her as she makes her way to the sofa surrounding the coffee table in front of Vertin. They had dragged this from the outside not too long ago, after Regulus expressed much interest in introducing Vertin to more variety of music instead of classical and what better way to do than play them inside her office and talk her ears off?
“It's bad for your health.” Druvis says with all the authority she has as the older one between the two of them. “Make sure to not do it again tomorrow. Tonight, rather.”
“Yes, yes…” It's like a scolding from an older sister she's never had. “I'm sorry.” She tries to sound as apologetic as possible so Druvis won't say anything else.
And then silence.
It's 2 am in the morning, yesterday having been spent in doing some more errands inside the Foundation to restore her image as the Timekeeper and she should be asleep from all the activities she's done except she can't.
Or well.
Doesn't want to.
So instead, here she is poring over more reports and requests sent to her some days ago. Maybe she can get them done before the next assignment lands on her desk. If not, then she'll have to ask Madam Z to deal with them for her. She's done quite a lot for Vertin already, some more paperworks will be nothing.
Vertin pauses at that thought. 'Is she spoiling me?', Madam Z has been acting much nicer recently. More cheerful too, even if the bags under her eyes are ever present. Oh well, she can return to that train of thought once the woman actually does something uncharacteristic. Like patting her head for a good job. Which will never happen.
“Vertin.”
“Oh, yes?” Her attention snaps back to Druvis.
She blinks.
Why does she look so…
“How are you?”
The question has been asked so many times already that Vertin feels her answer leaving her lips without even thinking about it. “I'm okay n—”
“Not that.” Druvis interrupts, her emerald eyes somehow glittering even under the dark.
Vertin thinks she knows what this is about but she can't be sure. She tries to stall, maybe Druvis will drop it then.
She doesn't. “We both know what I'm talking about, Vertin.”
It's been over a month.
Vertin lets out a heavy, shaky sigh. That's right. A long while has already passed since that day but to Vertin, it felt just like a few days ago. What with having spent all those weeks asleep in the Foundation's facilities so the topic Druvis wants to tackle is like a wound that has yet to fully scab so she's quite cruel for digging her fingers in it. But someone had to do it, and who better than her?
She turns her head to face the red feathers on top of the cabinet and for a brief moment, she thinks she feels her mark burn before she remembers that with the… she remembers that her mark hasn't acted up ever since then. As if it's just a simple decoration now— a brand on her skin, rather, that reminds her of her own failure.
“It's…” Vertin breathes out. “It's not easy.”
Every time she closes her eyes, she can see Schneider. It's different whenever she does. Sometimes she's smiling, sometimes she's pouting. Sometimes she's hovering over her with a smirk on her face and sometimes—
“I see.” Druvis says in response.
“I miss her.” Vertin admits next, surprised at how easy it was to say it out loud but maybe it's because being around Druvis is easy. She doesn't have to hide, no need to act so strongly because Druvis will always protect her. And fight for her.
Not like the others don't do the same, not at all. She's quite sure that so long as her desires don't directly contradict the Foundation's, Sonetto will follow her to the ends of this planet. And there's Regulus, Mr. APPle and Sotheby too.
And Lilya, of course, who had kept her end of their deal even when she was trapped inside her own dreams.
“Will it ever get any easier?” She mutters absentmindedly, not realizing she was already standing before Schneider's feathers with a hand reaching out to touch them. She draws her hand back. She doesn't think she has enough courage to touch it just yet.
“I don't think so.”
Now, that attracts Vertin's attention. Because that single sentence carried something in it that she can't quite explain. “... Druvis?”
But Druvis isn't looking at her, her head lowered to something on her lap. Is she fiddling with her own fingers? Lately, Vertin has been noticing more things about her companions. How Sonetto likes to take her morning coffee, how whenever Regulus is itching to get out, she'd begin to fuss with the items lying around Vertin's office — things like those.
Druvis raises her right hand up, but while she strips them naked from the silk gloves she always wears, there remains a black band wrapped around it.
Oh, right.
How dare she forget?
She's seen it only once, and even then, she had turned away just as quickly because she thought it was too personal. But it was too late, the black snake encircling Druvis' wrist was much too striking to forget after she's seen it once.
Their circumstances are different of course, what with Schneider being taken away by the Storm while Druvis' own remains free but with what happened that time… She knew that it must have hurt, to reject the one with her mark as they parted ways with different goals in their mind.
It must still hurt.
Sometimes, Vertin wonders what would have happened if she had not given Druvis a way out back then.
Vertin's lips form into a frown, feeling awfully guilty now. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…”
“It's okay.” Druvis looks up to her, a faint smile now on her face. “But to answer your question, I don't believe it'll get any easier.”
Vertin glances at the red feathers one last time before she finally tears herself away from it. She settles herself on the seat next to Druvis.
“But we're not alone, aren't we?”
There's a curl to Druvis' lips that Vertin could have easily missed with the lack of lighting but it's there. Undoubtedly so. “Maybe I'll be proven wrong, about it not getting any easier, but… you're not alone, like how I'm not. There's no need to keep it all bottled up, to carry such a burden in silence.”
Druvis looks at her. “I hope you know that, Vertin.” She quietly adds.
And then she's standing up—
Not before narrowing her eyes at the Timekeeper one last time. “You better go to sleep as well.” She softly says, “Don't think that I won't do good to my threats of blocking any ways out of your room if you keep this up.” She doesn't need to be proficient at lying or proficient at dealing with liars to know that Druvis has said nothing but the truth. She was being genuine when she said she's not going to hesitate locking Vertin up.
It should have scared her, not out of her wits, but enough to convince her otherwise but—
“... Pfft.”
A snicker escapes her instead. It stops Druvis on her tracks, the arcanist tilting her head in surprise at her leader. Yet Vertin couldn't bring herself to care, her snickering slowly transitioning to become full blown laughter and maybe she's actually lost it. Maybe all the fatigue has gone to her head. Maybe her nightmares finally broke her down.
Druvis' lips curve to form a small smile, the older girl shaking her head with a good humored chuckle. “Good night, Vertin.”
She feels lighter now, better than she has ever since she woke up from a dream she thought she'll be stuck in for much longer than she initially planned. “Good night, Druvis.” She replies, watching as the arcanist opens the door to her office. “And um, thank you.”
Druvis pauses.
“Anytime.”
Then the door closes shut, leaving Vertin alone inside her office.
“...”
From the corner, the red feathers attract her gaze once more.
Once upon a time, Vertin met a girl with a smile on her face and accompanied by the smell of citrus. Once upon a time, Vertin learns that her name is Schneider, that she had a lot of sisters and that she loved them more than anything.
Once upon a time, Vertin met her soulmate who carved herself a chapter in her book and that was that.
There are those who never meet their soulmates, despite hoping so badly to finally find the one destined to be their other half. They have to live with the knowledge that somewhere out there, there exists a soul intricately connected with theirs and be unable to do anything about it.
Vertin supposes she should be grateful, what with her at least meeting her own.
“Schneider…” She says her name and now, it doesn't hurt as much as it did. There's no more pang in her chest, no more curl in her stomach. What remained was the fondness to a girl she had barely known (she wished she got to know more).
She'd like it, she thinks.
She wished to be remembered. Vertin knows she won't ever forget.
She smiles to the ceiling of her room, reaching a hand out. “You'd probably like it here.” She says after a few moments of silence before letting her hand fall back to her side. “Or well, maybe not. But seeing as Regulus is adjusting just fine, I think you'd have been fine too.”
She turns on her side, fingers curling against the bed sheets as she tries to take in a breath. It's difficult, Vertin knows. Even as the hurt has gone away (just the other day, Regulus asked her about the mark on her neck), there's still the what-ifs and daydreams of what could have been.
The hurt is gone, but the longing remains. She flutters her eyes to a close.
Will she see her in her dreams tonight as well?