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"I used to wonder why you did what you did."
Nienna wraps her veil more tightly around herself and moves closer to the stained glass window depicting the sharp yet all too familiar features of the fallen Vala she loves still. Even Melkor has a shrine in Valinor, though it is a secluded and abandoned place, maintained by her while others shun it; she is the only one who visits and occasionally brings gifts like flowers, candles or small trinkets to decorate the shrine with. She finds herself coming often to simply sit down and speak to him as if he was still there, even though she knows he cannot hear her where he is now.
"I used to wonder why you wouldn't just let go and accept your chance to turn away from this path of pain, grief and destruction."
Nienna looks up at the image of Melkor, still as if he has been frozen in time, fierce as she remembers him, with the Silmarils gleaming on his brow. It is strange how this depiction makes it seem as though he accomplished what he so desperately wanted, but she knows better; she knows what a burden these gems were to so many people, including the Vala who had stolen them from their rightful owners.
"I used to wonder why my love for you wasn't enough."
She leans against the glass as if she expected to be embraced by Melkor in return, and its cold, hard surface reminds her of the feeling of her fána touching his.
"But I suppose I understand now," Nienna continues her lonely musings, tears running down her cheeks. "You felt hurt and wanted others to feel your pain and rage as well, because you either couldn't or wouldn't see past it. You lashed out, believing that there was no future where you could be happy, and in taking the same future away from others, you also denied it to yourself."
She exhales deeply and closes her eyes for a moment. Many ages has she spent grieving her lost lover and the ruinous path that he chose for himself. The other Valar pity her, even though she doesn't want them to; she is the Lady of Grief and Mourning, yet she also knows how to find strength and healing through hope and endurance. Even as her heart may ache and yearn, she refuses to weep for herself, she weeps for Melkor and those he hurt in his anger and folly.
"I know you will return one day," she whispers to the shimmering glass. "And I will keep believing in you even if everyone else has given up on you, even if you refuse to do so yourself. I will make sure that you too will have a part in the second music and find your way into Arda Healed, so that you may find rest and healing there."
And until then, I will come back here time and time again, so that I may feel like you are still with me.