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Obi-Wan doesn't sleep well anymore, even when he's in the temple. He knows it's perfectly well protected, just as it has been his entire life. Yet he doesn't feel it anymore. Every time he closes his eyes he sees red; red sabers, red blood, red burned flesh. Red hazed fury for which he feels no pride.
It's been a week since Qui-Gon's death, only a handful of days since his funeral. Since Obi-Wan became a full jedi knight, padawan included.
He thinks about Anakin when he cannot sleep. With every moment he comes up with something new that he needs to teach the boy before they can even begin with traditional padawan training. There are so many things that need to be done.
He's learned that Anakin does not know how to read or write in basic, and only barely so in huttese. He's realised that Anakin cannot swim.
Only the other day he watched Anakin enter the food hall of the temple and stop dead at the sight of all the options in front of him. He spent several minutes staring at foods from all across the galaxy. Yet when he finally sat down with Obi-Wan, his plate was nearly bare.
"I'm not hungry." Anakin defended when Obi-Wan carefully asked if he planned to grab more. But when he stood, Obi-Wan could see the pockets of his tunic bulging.
The one thing Anakin knows without a doubt, is how to survive.
He's pulled from his thoughts by the near non-existent squeaking of his bedroom door.
Few people know the code to his room, and fewer people know that it almost always remains unlocked. He doesn't turn his head, but out the corner of his eye he sees a small silhouette in the doorway.
He sighs to himself, and closes his eyes. Willing himself to find the strength to deal with whatever Anakin is about to bring him.
The door quietly slides closed, and there is the sound of feet shuffling on the carpeted floor.
He can feel a quiet sadness radiating off of his padawan, a silent distress.
There is a small, tired and bitter part of his mind that hopes Anakin will decide against waking him. The rest of him knows that this comes with the territory, that he was signed up for this the moment Qui-Gon saw this small boy on Tatooine.
He opens his eyes and looks over, expecting to see a shadow hovering beside his bed. But there is nothing there.
He can feel Anakin in the room, he is impossible to ignore. His presence in the force still staggers him and everyone he meets, but Obi-Wan cannot see him.
Soft, steady breathing comes from beside his bed. He rolls on his side to look.
There's a lump of shadow on the floor, curled tight on itself and whistling with barely-there snores.
There is only the smallest amount of artificial light in the room, and he can make out Anakin's sleeping face turned towards him.
Something catches in Obi-Wan's chest, and he knows what he is meant to do.
"Anakin." He says quietly, a hand reaching over the mattress to press lightly against the sleeping boy's shoulder.
Anakin wakes with a full body flinch, looking up at Obi-Wan with wide eyes.
"I'm sorry, Master. I didn't mean to wake you."
Obi-Wan isn't sure he likes the way Anakin sounds when he calls him Master. It's unlike any fellow jedi or youngling, it comes from somewhere deeper than simple respect.
"What's wrong, padawan?" He asks, sitting up.
Anakin doesn't speak for a long moment after pulling himself to his feet. Obi-Wan shifts so that his legs hang off the bed, and they are facing one another.
"I couldn't sleep." He says, in a tone that lets Obi-Wan know there's more to it than that. He inhales,
"You need to sleep, Anakin." Obi-Wan tells him.
"Of course, Master." Anakin nods, "I'm sorry for bothering you."
He doesn't move to walk away, and Obi-Wan sighs.
"Would you like to sit for a few moments?"
Anakin hesitates for only a second before nodding. Obi-Wan shuffles back against the headboard and motions for Anakin to join him.
He clambers up onto the mattress, sitting away from Obi-Wan and pulling his knees to his chest.
Moments like these, Obi-Wan questions Qui-gon's faith. In him and in the boy. He closes his eyes and tries to release the feeling that he is incredibly out of his depth.
He should tell Anakin to let go of his worries and go back to bed, that he will have to get used to temple life. But then there's the press of Anakin's head against his shoulder and he knows he cannot do so. Not tonight.
"Is there something wrong with your room?" He hazards a guess. He's noticed that many things about the temple make Anakin uncomfortable, he wouldn't be surprised to hear this did as well.
"Not wrong." Anakin says very carefully. "My bed's very big, and soft." He continues. "I feel like I'm going to get lost." He says it with a small laugh, jostling Obi-Wan's shoulder.
Obi-Wan nods, turning this over carefully in his mind.
He knows where Anakin came from, even if he never saw it with his own eyes. He can't imagine that he and his mother ever had much space of their own.
Or anything soft, he surmises. Because the temple mattresses are anything but. They're built for effectiveness and not comfort. Jedi do not crave such things.
"Have you ever slept on your own before?" He asks, it's nothing more than a hunch but when Anakin goes stiff against him he knows he's right.
"Mom didn't like being alone."
Anakin's voice is quiet, but steady. His attachment to his mother remains obvious, and Obi-Wan once again wishes Qui-Gon was there to turn to.
"You are not alone, Anakin." He reminds him. "And neither is your mother, the force will always be with you."
Anakin exhales shakily beside him, and Obi-Wan again considers sending him back to his own room.
He doesn't, even as Anakin's breathing starts to slow. Even as he begins to lean heavily into Obi-Wan's side.
Instead he carefully lays his head on the pillow. He watches him for a moment. Anakin looks even younger when he's asleep, despite the faint shadow of a frown on his face.
With a sigh, and a promise to the force that this is only because he's too tired to deal with upsetting his padawan. That it will not happen again. He lays down as well, tucking his arm under a thin pillow.
Anakin immediately gravitates towards him, still fast asleep. Obi-Wan doesn't stop the boy from curling up against him.