Work Text:
- A spy!? - Twilight repeated after Handler, he couldn’t believe what the woman was telling him.
- It's a possibility. - Handler nodded. - We don’t know who he is or whom he is working for, but for sure he is not one of our people or even an Ostanian agent. It seems word has come out that Dr. Loid Forger is treating some very reclusive VIP patients and it has caught the attention of someone, most likely the government of a third country.
- But… - Twilight felt a bitter taste all on his mouth. He didn’t like the orders he had received regarding the spy.
- Yes, I understand it’s a risk towards the success of Operation Strix, but we’re in hot water. I cannot have you back as Loid Forger yet, we need to catch and secure the little mole that was detected at WISE headquarters last week. We cannot afford for this situation to reach the levels of the Wheeler fiasco. Besides, how dangerous can it be for that man to pose as Loid Forger for a week? Just go and remove any suspicious stuff from the apartment at the closest opportunity.
- Understood. - Twilight said defeated. Dr. Loid Forger was supposed to be on a work trip, he had “departed” by train the day before after saying goodbye to his family on the terminal. He had been surprised to see some SSS agents tailing him, but it appeared that all the attention he was receiving was because of those supposedly VIP patients he was seeing. Which were none yet, because Director Gorey changed his mind every other day.
- And Twilight… I don’t want to catch you anywhere near the Forger’s apartment after you retrieve your stuff. - Handler added, looking gloomily towards her agent. She knew he was lying when he said he would remain focused on his current assignment.
Yor had stopped by to buy a couple of peanut butter cookies for Anya. She had promised after all a small treat for the girl since she had been on her best behavior now that Loid wasn’t at home. Yor couldn’t help her with her homework as Loid helped her, or prepare her a delicious meal, or do a tenth part of all that Loid did, but at least she could buy her the cookies she liked so much. Yor jumped when she felt the large hand on her back, she automatically took a defensive stance, just to have to drop it immediately after seeing the smiling face of the man.
- Loid? - Yor asked confused. Was that man supposed to be Loid? He was wearing a similar suit and hat, but it was obvious it wasn’t him. Was the SSS finally after her because of her failure to portrait a proper wife?
- Surprise! My trip was canceled. - The man said smiling and then turned his attention to the display in front of him. - Oh, this for sure looks very tasty, I’ll have a chocolate roll and a strawberry shortcake for the lady. - He asked to the clerk, who added the items to the order from Yor. - Would you mind paying, dear? I’m afraid I used all my cash on the train back.
- N-not a problem. - Yor responded. She almost hit the ground when she flexed backwards to avoid the kiss. Those lips had been dangerously close.
- Dear? - Fake Loid tilted his head, lips still puckering, like a duck.
- Sorry, I have a very sore throat, I don’t want to make you sick. - She said, pretending to cough a couple of times and recomposing herself. She had had to restrain herself to not knock him down.
Twilight almost threw the binoculars to the man from the roof where he was observing the whole interaction. Who was that clown? He hadn’t even learned the bare minimum about his target or the people around him! Strawberry shortcake for Yor!? And that ridiculous attempt of a PDA!? Was he trying to destroy his image? Twilight looked at his watch to check the time, he had to go back to track the mole, but he felt uneasy. If that man had gone straight for a kiss on the street, what would he attempt on the privacy of the Forger residence? Operation Strix was in danger. He needed to call Franky. He left his vigilance post and went to look for the closest phone booth.
The man’s name was Bud Bierhals, he had been approached by some weirdos some weeks ago in another city because they thought he was a Dr. Forger, from Berlint General. The guys were nicely dressed and offered him some drinks if he heard to their business proposal. He wasn’t really going to accept, it sounded too much work to go to Berlint and pose as some random guy, but then he was offered a pretty sum of money and he looked at the pictures of the Forgers. He thought the wife was a hottie, he could play a little to the husband and wife with her and get whatever the weirdos wanted in the process , some files about some lunatics. So he had accepted and had jumped into the train to Berlint the day before, accompanied by the two weirdos. They had spent all the last week trying to make him learn about Dr. Forger and his family, but Bud Bierhals was not interested at all in anything they had to teach. Needless to say, his brain wasn’t good at retaining information.
He was very surprised that morning when the weirdos knocked at his hotel door and started with the disguise. Some prosthetic to cover his nose and eyebrows. They also glued some fake hair on his balding spots. He looked with disgust at the suit he was given, what color was that? Green? Some shade of gray? Too fashionable for someone like Bud Bierhals. Why on earth did Loid Forger had to wear the vest as well? The jacket was more than enough! Bud Bierhals was a little larger at the waist, product of his years indulging in his favorite drink: beer. The weirdos had tried to make him use a girdle, thing that he refused emphatically. That Loid Forger started to sound as an obnoxious dude. His thoughts were interrupted when he was given a small microphone to wear, so the weirdos could listen to what was happening. Bud Bierhals smiled, that was finally like the movies. He was now like Bondman, infiltrating the enemy base, he would get the woman and then he would continue with his life. Bud Bierhals thought this could be the beginning of a brand new career for him. He was reminded of a lot of things to be careful of, which he processed none.
As soon as they arrived to the apartment, Bud Bierhals went to drop himself into the sofa, putting his feet on the coffee table. He looked around, it was a nice apartment, that Dr. Forger must earn pretty well, he thought.
- Dear, bring me a beer! - The man shouted from his seat, as the woman had gone to the kitchen.
- We don’t have beer… Loid. - Yor didn’t know what to do. If that man was with the SSS, she had to pretend, no matter how difficult. - I could prepare some tea or coffee if you prefer. - She offered their usual options for that time of the day.
- No beer? - Bud Bierhals felt disappointed, he cursed Dr. Forger for being so well off that he didn’t have beer at home. - Schnapps?
- We have wine. - Yor responded.
- Not a fan of wine. - Fake Loid complained loudly. - I’m getting hungry, what are we having for dinner?
- Erm, do you want me to cook dinner? - Yor asked surprised.
- Who else if not? - Fake Loid sounded confused.
- I’d need to go to the store then. - Yor said, thinking that she could try to cook something fancy for pretends. - Since you weren’t supposed to be here all week, we don’t have too much food in the house.
- Good, since you’re going, bring me some beer. Could you come and turn on the TV? It’s too far away and I’m tired. - Yor went and turn on the TV, and looked disapprovingly at the foot on the coffee table. - You can take off my shoes as well, my dear. - Fake Loid flashed another smile. Those smiles were starting to irk Yor.
The door opened and Anya announced her arrival, but she stopped on her tracks when she saw the strange man on the living room.
- Oh, Anya, you’ve arrived. Come with me, we’re going to the store. - Yor said quickly, taking the girl by the hand and leaving the apartment at full speed.
- Mama! Who is that man that pretends to be Papa!? - Anya asked astounded once they were on the street.
- I have no idea! - Yor said, feeling really nervous. Was the SSS supposed to be that bad at disguises? Or was it all part of an intimidating tactic? - Listen, Anya, we need to put on our best faces and pretend we don’t know he isn’t Loid. It’s the only way to protect our family.
Anya nodded, she had followed all of her Mama’s thoughts. She then thought that she would read the man’s mind to understand what was happening.
Bud Bierhals sighed as soon as the wife and the girl left. He had forgotten Dr. Forger had a daughter. He stood up and proceeded to do what he was paid to do, so he went and placed the other microphone he was given under the coffee table and then decided to go and inspect the bedrooms, but he wasn’t expecting the white fluffy dog that had decided he couldn’t go into any room. He tried to force his way, but the dog was not having it. Bud Bierhals scratched his head, he didn’t like dogs. It wasn’t that he was scared of them since he had been attacked by several when he tried to rob some houses, no, it was just that he didn’t like them. He would just wait for the woman and the girl to return. The doorbell chimed and he went to check, at the other side of the door there was a short man with scruffy hair. Bud Bierhals opened the door, the man gave him a throughout look, left some envelope and left. Bud Bierhals shrugged and put the envelope on the foyer table. Something for Dr. Forger apparently, well, he would just give it to the weirdos the next day, when he was supposed to meet them. Then he went to look into the kitchen for something to eat, he was starving and had forgotten to ask the wife for some snacks before she left.
Franky had gone to the apartment to check on behalf of Twilight, however he only needed one look at the man to know that there was nothing to be worried about. The disheveled look, with the glue starting to come out of the nose he was wearing. The yellow spots on the otherwise white shirt, the burning marks on the scuffs… there was no way anyone was going to believe that man was Dr. Loid Forger. He almost laughed loud because he was sure the guy was balding and had a belly. It was funny to see “Twilight” like that. Either way, he had put a small microphone on the envelope, he would stay nearby in case the girls needed some assistance.
- Is everything fine, Loid? - Yor asked smiling, as she served a generous amount of food to the plate her fake fake husband had in front of him.
- Yeah… is this supposed to look like this? - He asked, looking at the slimy thing that was oozing from the spoon.
- It’s your favorite, Papa. - Anya said, eating as if she found the food enjoyable. Truth be told, it was better than when Mama had started cooking.
- Let me know if you want some more. - Yor said as she also started eating.
Bud Bierhals’ plans for the night were postponed since he spent most of it in the toilet.
- You’re not going to work!? - Yor repeated after she saw Fake Loid still on his pajamas on the sofa.
- No, I asked for some days off… you know, since the work trip was canceled. - He was still pale from the food and had refused breakfast, saying that he would eat something later. - Could you leave me some money? I’m not feeling too well and I don’t want to stop by the bank.
- Sure, I’ll leave it on the table. I’m taking Anya to the bus stop and then I’m going to work. Do you want me to cook dinner today? I should probably stop by the store again to buy some more ingredients…
- No! Let’s order something for tonight… - He make a gesture to Yor so she would go closer to him. - By the way, I think tonight I’ll be fine so we can… well, you can treat me to some welcome back action, if you know what I mean. Go for some waxing, it would be nice, you know?
Yor left Anya in the bus and started her way to the City Hall. She was feeling self conscious, she was sure she still didn’t have to wax her legs, but what Fake Loid had said had let her feeling as if she should. She sighed and stopped to wait for the subway. A tall woman wearing a suit and a large scarf stood next to her and sighed as well.
- Are you fine, Miss? - Yor asked, since the woman sighed once again, loudly.
- Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to bother anyone. - She said apologizing. The woman had red hair and was wearing a pair of tinted glasses, even if they were in the subway station. - It’s just that I’m very upset with myself, you see, I’ve gotten myself a new boyfriend, but he is an idiot! I’m sorry, I really don’t want to burden you with my complains. - She apologized once again.
- Not a problem! Please, if I can help you somehow, even just by listening to you, I’d be glad. - Yor said smiling.
- As I was telling you, this man is an idiot! - They were already on the wagon which was almost empty. - He doesn’t help in the house and is always asking for money. But that’s not the worst.
- It isn’t? - Yor repeated horrified of hearing that apparently it was very common to find oneself with such type of man.
- It isn’t. - The woman confirmed. - The worst is… it’s so horrible that I cannot even say it… - She put her hand over her face, as if to cover the shame she was feeling.
- Please… - Yor took the woman’s other hand to provide support.
- He… he… he asked me to wax! - The woman spouted almost crying.
- I-I see… it really it’s a horrible feeling… I was just asked the same. - Yor said, looking once again at her legs, wondering what was what the man had seen.
- I cannot believe men! - The other woman said ardently. - Thinking that they can control our bodies, you’re not going to do it, are you?
- I-I don’t think I need to… - Yor passed one of her hands over the stockings, trying to feel any bump.
- You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do. - The woman said softly to Yor, staring at the wagon floor. Twilight, as it was him under disguise sighed once again, he should had known better when it came to Yor. He almost said things that would only make her feel worse. - I mean, if you want to please your husband it should be fine, but you shouldn't feel forced to do anything…
- Oh no, my husband is nothing like that! Did I mention it was him!? He would never… - Yor stopped without completing her thoughts. - My husband is a gentleman. - She finally said with a warm smile. That man wasn’t Loid, there was absolutely no way Loid would say something like that. - I’m very happy to have married someone like him. - She added, blushing slightly.
- This is my stop. - The woman stood up quickly and hid her face with the scarf. - Take care.
- You too. - Yor waved goodbye from her seat.
Twilight remained at the station looking at the space that had been occupied by the wagon. He was trying to compose himself since that stupid smile would not go away after what Yor told him.
The two persons who had hired Bud Bierhals said that they couldn’t go into the apartment just yet, since that day they were meeting with an important contact and just told him to get over his fear of dogs. Thing that he couldn’t do, so he spent the whole day watching television while he was drinking some beers. Then he had an idea and took the money that Yor had left and went to buy something cheap for him to eat and a huge steak for the dog. That should keep him busy for him to go inspect the bedrooms. When he returned, the dog growled at him once again, but upon seeing the steak his attitude changed and was quickly devouring the food. Bud Bierhals opened the first door at the right, it was the kid’s bedroom. Nothing interesting in there, just pink stuff. Then he went to the next bedroom to the left. It looked like the main bedroom, but it was weird because he could only see stuff from the wife in there. He wasn’t going to find the files in between her things, so he sighed and went to the final bedroom. It looked like an ordinary guest room. There was nothing personal in there, but the clothes of Dr. Forger were in that room. He had seen that arrangement before, where the woman got the largest closet for all her stuff and the husband had to conform with the smallest one in another room. He went through the clothes of Dr. Forger, some high quality suits and shirts, an impressive amount of ties. Shoes perfectly clean and aligned. Bud Bierhals burped feeling the discomfort in his stomach. He was just too different from Dr. Forger. He took out one of the shirts, one that look particularly expensive and tried it on. The buttons around the belly area were about to burst, but he had been able to close them. Then he went and selected one suit jacket and wore it as well. He looked at himself at the mirror. He thought that it was true what women said that a man in a suit looked a thousand times better, specially in an expensive suit. One button finally gave up and went flying under the bed. Bud Bierhals shrugged and just let everything on the floor. He would ask the wife to pick it up once she was back. He continued checking the room, a lot of boring looking books. The only thing interesting is that that man had all the spy wars comics up to date. He took them and started reading on the bed. That was life. He thought he could easily spend the rest of his days as Loid Forger. He would have preferred not to have a child from another man, but it was going to be difficult to get rid off the girl. As for Dr. Loid Forger, maybe he could ask the people who had hired him to dispose of him. He felt asleep and started snoring, dreaming that he would most likely be able to get a side chick as a doctor.
- What do you mean is camping night? - Fake Loid asked annoyed to the girl, Anya.
- You promised, Papa, that we would watch a movie and camp in the living room once you’re back from your trip. - Anya said pouting. She had caught up her Papa thoughts earlier, as she walked by the street when they were returning from walking Bond. Papa dind’t want that man close to Mama.
- It’s because she got good grades on her latest exam. - Yor lied, sweating profusely.
- Did she? - He had seen some exams in the guest room, crappy grades. However he wasn’t able to even respond correctly what the girl had responded, so he couldn’t really judge her about it.
- I need your help to review my homework. - Anya said, reading his mind.
- Sure, after the movie, first things first. - Fake Loid smiled, thinking that at least he was going to watch a movie. Somehow the Forgers had the Bondman special he was missing to see.
- You need to relax. - Franky said to Twilight, who was scrunching some paper that couldn’t be scrunched any more. They were inside a parked van, listening to the device Franky had left on the envelope. - They’re just going to watch some movies and camp on the living room, if anything happens I’ll just go and knock and pretend I forgot something.
- Anya has a recovery test next week, she has to study. - Twilight responded between teeth, her latest grades had been abysmal, how is that she was getting a reward for it? But on the other hand, she had apparently come with an idea to avoid that Yor and the fake Loid shared a bedroom. The girl was always surprising him when she came out with things that solved problems she didn’t know existed. Well, he could let her enjoy this night. - I have to leave, I’m counting on you. - He had been relying on Nightfall to capture the mole, but she had asked him to go and check a location where he could be hiding.
Bud Bierhals was starting to feel deceived. He had spent already two nights as Dr Loid Forger and the most physical interaction he had gotten with the wife was when he met her and put his hand on her back. For all purposes he was starting to suspect they weren’t the happy couple the people thought they were. The wife was starting later that morning at City Hall, so she had returned to the apartment after taking the kid to the bus stop. He pinned her against the wall using his arms.
- Dear, let’s talk.
- What is it, Loid? - She asked, while mentally trying to calm herself to not throw the man away.
- Are we fighting? - He was sure the Forgers weren’t sleeping together, after spending some more time looking at the bedrooms.
- Why do you ask? - She asked nervously. She still didn’t know if the man was with the SSS or not.
- I’m feeling you don’t want to sleep with me.
- Don’t be silly. - She said, scurrying down the wall and escaping from him. - I have to leave.
- Wait, then… tonight?
- Tonight… I’m sorry, I got it this morning… - She used a line that she had heard from Sharon.
- You got to be kidding me. - Fake Loid said annoyed.
- There is nothing I can do about it. - She parroted the favorite part from Sharon.
- There are some other things we can do, you know. - He took her chin to try to force her to open her mouth.
- I have to leave. I’ll be late. - She said, releasing herself from his grip and walking away through the apartment door. She felt as if she could cry. She just wanted to punch that man.
- Yuri. - A man with scars on his eye called the young man. - We received a problematic report. - He passed the boy the paper with the details from the anonymous phone call.
- Someone reported Loid Forger as a spy? - Yuri opened his eyes in disbelief. He could have started dancing. - I’ll look into this, Sir! - He went away running before anyone could stop him.
Bud Bierhals was surprised to see the young man with black hair entering the apartment. Was he a robber? He burped once again, the weirdos were supposed to be coming today, he needed to get rid off the robber quickly.
- Loid Forger… - Yuri was boiling with rage. That ridiculous man in front of him wasn’t Lottie, just a cheap copy. Why hadn’t Yor do anything about him? Why hadn’t she called Yuri?
- Ah… uhm… Juli? - Bud Bierhals’ brain tried to save him. He suddenly remembered the wife was supposed to have a younger brother.
- Geez, when was the last time you took a shower? - Yuri looked at the mess in the living room. Empty bottles of beer and dirty dishes. Bud Bierhals had avoided the shower because he was afraid his disguise would fall. - Go and take one while I clean up in here, I cannot believe you.
- I’m not feeling well, you know, a sore throat, that’s why I haven’t showered. - But he went running to take his shower after the menacing look he received from Yuri.
- Who is this clown!? - Yuri asked Yor once she arrived that afternoon. Bud Bierhals has lost the fake hair and had some visible balding spots now and his nose was kinda crooked. Yuri had finished cleaning deeply the apartment and had prepared dinner. - What happened to Lottie!?
- Shhh. - Yor looked at the living room to see if Fake Loid had heard anything. - H-he might be with the SSS! - She whispered, looking around. They were in the kitchen.
- No, he is not… I mean, he doesn’t look like an SSS officer! - Yuri corrected himself mid sentence. - And why would the SSS come here and pretend to be Lottie!?
- Er… - Yor couldn’t say to Yuri that it was because her marriage was fake. - L-loid mentioned he was going to start looking after some very important patients, maybe some of those people are suspicious?
- Ah, it’s true, now I remember… that Lottie did mention his new patients! - Yuri had to correct once again mid sentence. He mumbled in his mind, Lottie was putting his sister in danger by taking those patients. The SSS did know about that and had an alert ongoing, but they also knew that Dr. Forger kept all sensible documents secured at the Hospital. Whoever had decided to follow Lottie was not them. Well, it didn’t matter, because Yuri was going to save his sister and maybe he could take the actual Lottie to prison in the process.
Bud Bierhals was many things, but one thing he was not was a complete fool. He knew the SSS was bad news for anyone. And he had heard perfectly well that the wife and the brother were whispering about the SSS. Were they going to report him? He was kind of surprised, he thought his act was good enough, but maybe the shower did affect the disguise. He should have refused. Well, he had no option, he was going to release himself from the situation before things went south. He looked through the balcony window, there were some suspicious men on the sidewalk across the building. He could recognize the SSS anywhere, so he was going to have to go through the back door. He didn’t even say goodbye or announced his exit, he just left as silently as he could. He got a glimpse of the weirdos trying to run away from the SSS through one of the stairs window. He decided to remove the fake nose and took off the shirt and just kept wearing a t-shirt, to look less like the polished Dr. Forger. He was able to walk pass the people he thought were SSS and was feeling safe enough to whistle. He turned into an alley to hide, but a large shadow knocked him out.
- Papa! - Anya exclaimed happily when she heard the front door open. Bond went running with her as well to welcome Twilight. - Does your hand hurt? - She could see that Papa was very satisfied of having punched that man.
- I’m back! - Loid Forger announced from the foyer, removing his hat and jacket. - Oh, we have Yuri tonight? - He asked, pretending to guess by looking at the flowers, as if he hadn’t make that anonymous call to the SSS. - The last two days of the convention were canceled because of the flu. - He explained as Yuri and Yor approached him. - I took the last train to Berlint so I could come back tonight. - There had been indeed some unexpected changes on his other mission, as apparently the mole had had a bad fall on the shower and was unconscious in the hospital.
- Welcome back! - Yor said smiling and taking his luggage to take it to his room, but then she remembered they had to pretend as Yuri was there and took it to her room instead.
- Lottie… - Yuri was devouring him with his eyes, trying to determine if this was the actual Lottie or another fake.
- Thanks for coming tonight, Yuri. - Loid told him. - If I had known you were going to be here I’d probably wait for tomorrow’s train, I was just a little worried to leave Yor and Anya alone for that long.
- Yes! That’s a wonderful idea, go back and return tomorrow, I can take care of everything here! - Yuri said pointing to the door.
- Yuri! - Yor reproached her brother. - You must be tired, Loid. Yuri helped with dinner, go and take a seat, I’ll bring you the food. - She said smiling as Anya and Yuri returned to the living room to continue working on her homework. - I told you to wait at the table. - Yor reprimanded Loid as well, as he followed her to the kitchen. She had just finished to put the kettle on the stove.
- I just want to help. - He apologized as he reached at the highest cabinet to get a couple of cups for the tea. The movement left him over her. His lips stopped smiling. He had become painfully aware that he didn’t want anyone else to take that from him. It didn’t matter to him if it was just a quick peck or if he ended receiving a devastating kick again. He leaned over Yor, who quickly become flustered because of the proximity. But Twilight had made his mind, so he approached his head such that their lips would be barely apart, but apart enough to not force anything. He waited, it felt like centuries, but she didn’t move. He closed his eyes, accepting the rejection. In a way, he envied that man that could shamelessly ask for what he wanted. Before he could mutter a half-ass apology something soft touched his mouth. He had told himself that he would be happy with whatever Yor decided, but now he wanted more, so he pressed forward, he wanted to taste her, he wanted all of her. Barely a fraction of second later, Yuri bargained in between them screaming something about lewdness and that the kettle had been boiling for a while.
Loid Forger said something and went to sit at the table to have dinner. Yuri and Anya were filling the place with their voices as usual, bit he wasn't listening. He searched for Yor with his eyes, afraid that she would be disgusted by his actions. There she was, sitting in front of him, a finger on her lips. He had to force himself to think of something else, there was something about having Anya around that made him feel ashamed of his thoughts. Yuri was saying something about staying the night, but Yor quickly showed him the door as soon as he started to express those ideas.
Twilight put Anya in bed, as Yor insisted she would clean up. Once he had finally managed to calm down the overexcited kid, he went back to the common area. Yor was on the living room, lost in her thoughts. Her finger still playing on her lips. Twilight dared to guess what she was thinking, probably same thing as him. So he went to continue what Yuri had interrupted. Who cared about the microphones on the apartment? For sure no one would say the Forgers weren't a loving couple after that night.