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Chapter Text

       Yusuke feels like he is always hearing about the past. 

       It must have started with Genkai, though that didn’t really feel like a big deal, at the time. She was old, and he was a cocky little asshole who’d just been conned out of his entire summer vacation. But people really just wouldn’t shut up about what a powerful psychic she was, as if she wasn’t still alive and kicking his ass on the daily. 

       Then he’d found out about her and Toguro, and how she’d been the Dark Tournament champion fifty years prior, and by rights, shouldn’t even be on his team. But she’d gone and done it all for him anyway, knowing that she was going to die trying. 

       In all the chaos, Yusuke hadn’t paid too much attention to the details. He’d learned what he needed to learn to survive, and win, and he knew that Genkai did her best to give him everything she had in the short amount of time they had together. But years later he couldn’t help but wonder why she had stopped trying, after the tournament. 

       It was clear to him now that he didn’t know everything. He had been her apprentice, sure, but now that Genkai was gone for good, he could hardly call himself a master, in her stead. It just didn’t feel right. And there were things she had mentioned, during the tournament, that Yusuke knew for sure she had never tried to teach him. That purification technique she’d used on the three human members of Team Ichigaki? She had explained to them that it was one of the penultimate techniques of some fighting discipline that she’d never even bothered to mention to him before, or after. 

       He remembered being grateful, for the break in training, after the tournament was over. And perhaps that was Genkai’s goal in the beginning. But then the thing with Sensui had happened, and his whole world flipped upside down. It seemed like Genkai had just kind of… given up, after that. 

       It hurt, to think about, and there were some days Yusuke took a trip out to the old woman’s land just to sit in front of her gravestone in silence, wondering what it all meant. Sure, he had the Spirit Wave now, and the immense store of reiki would be more than enough for any human. But he wasn’t human anymore. 

       Genkai had been young, in her twenties she’d said, when she was at her peak. Yet she’d barely reached eighty before she’d left them for good. 

       Yusuke knew he was young too, in human terms, in his twenties now himself. He could continue to develop the Spirit Wave technique, and the reserves of reiki that Genkai had passed down to him. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was nothing more than a child in demon terms, and his newly awakened youki was quickly outclassing his reiki by leaps and bounds, year over year. 

       It was distressing to think that Genkai could have gone through so much, and given him everything she had, just for it to mean so little. He thinks about Toguro, too, and wonders if the man would envy or fear him, now that he understands what true power feels like. To think that the psychic had given up everything he had, in his life, and they couldn’t even manage to make him an A-Class. 

       In the end, it is Kuwabara who changes Yusuke’s mind. 

       He never would have expected the man’s newly acquired study habits, of all things, to come in handy, but that’s exactly what happens the first time Yusuke mentions his concerns to the other psychic. Kuwabara is immediately surprised that Yusuke is unaware of all the training manuals Genkai has left behind, along with her estate. But before Yusuke can get too embarrassed about it, Kuwabara offers to read them to him, since Yusuke clearly doesn’t know how, and Yusuke wastes no time dishing out a healthy dose of ass-kicking. He was clearly asking for it. 

       So, he learns from Kuwabara for a while, after that. Because it turns out that, despite not having the Spirit Wave, Kuwabara had been curious enough about his own psychic abilities to go looking for more. And of course the intuitive son of a bitch always managed to find exactly what he was looking for. There were some techniques that Genkai had described, that Kuwabara couldn’t quite manage, but came to Yusuke easily. Just as often, though, there were a few neat tricks that Kuwabara could do that Yusuke couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around. 

       It was fun, figuring it all out, and Yusuke was exceptionally pleased to have such a good excuse to monopolize just a little bit more of Kuwabara’s time. He had been so fiercely proud to hear that Kuwabara had been accepted into the high school he’d chosen, when he’d gotten back from Makai. An engineering school, no less. But he couldn’t deny that it’d hurt just a little bit too, to realize that it might be the beginning of a drifting friendship, and that the strange, undefinable distance he once felt between himself and the two demonic members of Team Urameshi, might now be growing between himself and Kuwabara instead. 

       Besides, Kuwabara was a pretty good teacher, in his own way, and Yusuke found himself wondering on more than one occasion how the hell it managed to work out that he was Genkai’s apprentice and not the other way around. The guy clearly had a knack for this. 

       Yusuke wasn’t quite sure when he finally made the decision, but he found himself staring at Kuwabara late one day after they’d finished up another round of experimental training, and were sitting out on the porch, cooling off and sharing a couple of beers. He wasn’t listening to a single word the guy was saying about whatever technique he was going on about because, he realized, he'd already made up his mind. One way or another, the next Spirit Wave master was going to be a Kuwabara.

Chapter Text

       As much as Yusuke had tried to convince himself, at first, that he had moved back to Ningenkai for good, things just didn’t really work out that way. It had been fine, good even, for several years, before it started to get weird. 

       Attending Keiko’s college graduation had really driven it home pretty hard. He was the exact same age as most of the graduating class, and could most certainly drink every single one of them under the table, no contest, yet he’d had to leave early to stop himself from throwing hands after about the fifth or sixth person asked if he was her younger brother. 

       He’d apologized to Keiko afterwards, and hated how concerned she looked when he tried to dismiss the issue. But it was frustrating, realizing that he was probably going to look like a sixteen year old kid for another ten years. Even Kurama aged faster than he did, in his mostly human body. The bastard.

       So he spent less time in the city, and moved to Genkai’s compound for a while. It was nostalgic, and he enjoyed it, for a time. But it was also a lot less exciting, and he found himself getting bored quickly. It was a constant push and pull between people trying to find the time to visit him, and him fucking off back to the city just to dick around for a while. Eventually he started crossing over to Makai instead. 

       Hiei was the first one to find him there, of course, and being just as bored with border patrol as Yusuke was with Genkai’s place, they quickly fell into a routine of meeting up to challenge each other. It wasn’t always fighting, either. There was plenty that Yusuke didn’t know about Makai, as Hiei quickly discovered, and he was more than happy to use that to his advantage, racing over dangerous terrain and daring Yusuke to enter hazardous areas. He would always assist in getting the Mazoku back out of any trouble he’d gotten himself into, of course, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t amusing to see him try. 

       But when Yusuke expressed an interest in exploring some of the more populated areas of the demon realm, Hiei politely (as politely as he ever did anything, which was to say, not at all) declined. That was where Jin and the others finally tracked him down, and although they had their duties to do, just as Hiei and the rest of the tournament losers did, they were more than happy to take the time to show him what they considered to be the finer points of Makai life. 

       Yusuke very quickly learned to never accept any kind of drink from Chuu, and to be highly suspicious of anything that Suzuka offered him, regardless of what it was. Shishiwakamaru seemed to stick around solely for antagonistic reasons, which Yusuke found highly amusing. Touya was a bit harder to read, but after so many years of hanging out with Kurama, Yusuke thought he could make at least a few, good, educated guesses about why the ice master was sticking around. Jin, of course, never failed to be a veritable force of nature, and always kept the party rolling, from the very moment he arrived. 

       It was Touya who first brought up the issue of currency. Yusuke had no Makai money, of course, but had managed to pay back his friends’ generosity, and then some, with help of a little bit of lucky gambling. Suzuka’s idea. And it had certainly paid off. But, Touya pointed out, if Yusuke ever wanted to go wandering around Makai by himself, he would need to get his hands on some money of his own. Yusuke reluctantly agreed. 

       Chuu was the one to point out that they hadn’t been worried about loaning Yusuke a little bit of coin, because the Mazoku was practically made of money, at this point, being Raizen’s heir. Yusuke didn’t miss the few, quick, shifty glares that passed back towards the drunkard, and he realized that this was exactly what Touya had been implying all along, with his first comment. Chuu was apparently the only one in the group with the balls to actually say it out loud. Yusuke laughed. 

       But it was good advice, and Yusuke found himself approaching Tourin castle not too long after that. It was surprisingly nerve-wracking, being back, after having made the decision to turn away from it all. Especially when he realized that Hokushin was already waiting for him. 

       The monk, as it turned out, was not completely unaware of Yusuke’s recent visits, and had been fully prepared for the Mazoku to turn up at some point, with just such a request. He explained, again, that all of Tourin, technically, belonged to Yusuke, and that he was free to do whatever he liked with the territory’s resources. So Yusuke reminded him in turn that he had no intention of involving himself in any kind of leadership position or demon politics whether it was his territory or not, and would damn well be paying back any money he borrowed. It’s not as if he’d done anything to earn it, after all. It just didn’t feel right, even pretending it belonged to him. 

       To his surprise, Hokushin didn’t try to argue, and simply let Yusuke do as he pleased. It was unsettling. He knew Hokushin had no desire to take the territory for himself. The monks, as a whole, had been annoyingly loyal to Raizen’s final wishes. Which meant that Yusuke had heard nothing from them other than how much they wanted him to take the throne. Or whatever the hell they were supposed to call it now that Enki was king over all three territories. 

       The weight of unspoken expectations and ignored responsibilities left a bad taste in Yusuke’s mouth, but if Hokushin was willing to ignore it, then he damn well was too. 

       The monk only stopped him once, on his way out the door, to remind him that he was welcome in Tourin at any time, for any reason, and that, as Raizen’s son, he hoped that Yusuke would come to see Tourin not just as a familiar place, but as a home he could return to, any time he wished. The sentiment struck Yusuke deeper than he cared to admit, and he thanked the monk before heading straight back to Ningenkai, and Genkai’s temple, where he could sort out his own increasingly complicated thoughts on the matter in peace.

Chapter Text

       By the time Enki finally announced the date for the next Makai Tournament, Yusuke was more than happy to throw himself head-first into the distraction. Did he want to be the next Demon King of all Makai? Abso-fucking-lutely not. But fighting, and training, was what he knew best. And it kept him busy. 

       He was also dying to use some of the new tricks he’d learned from Kuwabara on a couple of unlucky opponents, and since he’d outgrown training with the monks years ago, that left only a handful of people he could really ask. Fortunately for him, Raizen’s old buddies were actually delighted to be asked to go a friendly match or two with their late friend’s progeny. 

       Yusuke was delighted too, at first. It had been a long time since he’d had any real, challenging fights. Most of his friends and acquaintances were either at his level or close enough to it to make little difference, and he’d known many of them long enough that surprises were few and far between. But Raizen’s friends were new, and interesting, and powerful. 

       But Raizen’s old buddies also had one very important thing in common. They all knew Raizen. And they talked about him. To Yusuke. All the time. It started to remind him of Genkai. 

       Raizen was a Mazoku. He was a Toushin. A Battle God. But Yusuke didn’t know what any of that meant. All Yusuke knew was that Raizen was dead, and that he was a Mazoku now too, for whatever good that did him.

       There was something about the way that Raizen’s friends watched him too, that unnerved Yusuke. It was like they were waiting for something. But of course none of them could be bothered to actually come out and tell him what that was. They just kept talking about Raizen, instead. 

       And so the past continued to haunt him, for no reason Yusuke could fathom. It really seemed like other people just wouldn’t let it go. 

       Then one day Souketsu asked him why he was still using reiki techniques, as a Mazoku. And of course Yusuke had an answer. Reiki gave him a distinct advantage over other demons, even with his considerable youki, because most demons didn’t train to combat reiki. Yomi was the most obvious example that came to mind, since the dude was nearly impervious to youki attacks, when he wanted to be, but hadn’t managed to block Yusuke’s rei-gun a single time. 

       But the fact that Souketsu even asked the question at all throws Yusuke for a loop, and he begins to wonder if he is missing something. So he starts listening a little closer, whenever Raizen is mentioned, and he realizes that all the stories are the same. The only thing anyone ever talks about, as it turns out, is how Raizen always managed to pull some new technique, that nobody had ever seen him do before, miraculously out of thin air at exactly the right moment to save his own ass. 

       Raizen’s friends seem to talk about it as if it’s some big inside joke, but it’s clear that they were impressed, and probably frustrated, at the time. Nobody seems to know, even now, how he managed to do it. Yusuke wonders if they think he will explain it to them, somehow. But he has no fucking clue, either. It’s not as if Raizen actually taught him anything about who, or what, he was before he turned into a dried up husk of nothing. 

       So Yusuke just keeps on training, and fighting, the same way he always has, and tries to ignore the curious, watchful stares of his opponents. 

       At some point it occurs to him that Raizen, like Genkai, might have left behind some kind of written record of Mazoku traits. So he asks Hokushin about it. No luck. The only records that exist, that cover Mazoku specifically, are battle records. Go figure. 

       Yusuke takes a look at them anyway, on the off chance that there’s anything actually interesting worth knowing about whatever demon wars his ancestors got themselves involved in. It doesn’t take him long to discover that all the battle records are full of exactly the same kinds of stories he’s been hearing about Raizen. 

       Apparently what makes Mazoku so good at being Battle Gods, is their uncanny ability to make exactly the right move at critical moments of conflict. But there is still no mention of how this is done. Just some scribbling of names in the margins, next to the descriptions of certain moves.

       Seeing all those names, and all those stories about other Mazoku, does get him thinking though. Is he really the only one? And if he’s not, then wouldn’t he be able to use the same technique that Raizen used on him, after the atavism, to be able to track them down? It would be a hell of a lot easier to learn from another living demon than some dusty ass old books, after all. 

       It’s tricky work, trying to meditate while in his Mazoku state, but he eventually gets the hang of it. After that it’s just a matter of looking in the right place, in a manner of speaking. Yusuke has noticed that his thoughts don’t flow in quite the same way, as a demon, but really what else is new? Nothing about him feels the same, as a demon, as it used to. But he does his best to follow the flow, just to see where it leads him. 

       At the end of the line there is some resistance, and an end that doesn’t feel quite like the end, somehow. Yusuke pushes through, and gets the distinct impression that he is pushing past something. A door, perhaps. 

       And then suddenly he isn’t himself anymore. 

       He is someone else, somewhere else, and as the information floods his brain it takes him several moments to realize what is happening.

       He is not in control, for one thing. The person that he is, is moving and talking and thinking without him, and Yusuke is simply experiencing it all alongside, like a particularly vivid dream. 

       A very bloody, violent, dangerous dream. The pounding rush of adrenaline and slightly bitter tang of blood in his mouth are especially familiar to Yusuke, but there are plenty of other things playing out in the scene in front of him that seem strange. The battle taking place is a wild mix of demons and humans, for one thing, and everyone is carrying a blade. It’s harder to notice, while stuck in the brain of someone who clearly doesn’t see anything strange about it, that everyone is dressed in extremely old fashioned clothing. 

       He is not looking through the eyes of another living Mazoku, Yusuke realizes. He is reliving the memory of one.

Chapter Text

       Even with the tournament fast approaching, Yusuke spent nearly all the time he wasn't training, in meditation. He had already practically moved back into Tourin castle when the tournament was announced, knowing full well that he would be spending the majority of his time training in Makai anyway. Nobody else had really been surprised by the move, either. 

       But it isn’t until he’s spending more time inside the place that he notices the monks gathering together to stand around and argue about something with increased frequency. Eventually, he decides to interrupt. 

       “Hey, what’s up?”

       Yusuke isn’t sure whether he should be mad or start laughing at all the shocked, blank stares that are suddenly turned in his direction. Hokushin is the first to recover, as usual, and attempts to explain their little gathering. 

       “We were just discussing some… complaints we’ve been receiving from some of the demons living in settlements along the edge of Tourin’s territory, and how best to handle the situation.”

       Yusuke sighed deeply and folded his arms across his chest. He already knew he was going to regret asking for clarification, but he did it anyway. 

       “And what, exactly, is ‘the situation’?”

       Yusuke could see some of the other monks shifting uncomfortably at the question, but Hokushin only cleared his throat, and kept talking. 

       “There have been quite a few raids along the territory border, by groups looking to challenge Tourin’s claim to the area. But this is nothing unexpected, and the demons living in those areas knew to be prepared for such a challenge ever since Raizen’s passing. We are simply discussing how best to assist them.”

       Yusuke frowned for a moment, and stared at the monk. Hokushin, to his credit, stood his ground, and stared right back at him, dead in the face, but the other monks wouldn’t stop shifting around nervously behind him, and that really kind of gave the whole game away. Yusuke grinned maliciously. 

       “Yeah, nice try. But what’s really going on? You say these demons were prepared for a raid, but now they’re complaining? Why? Raizen died years ago, and you guys haven’t had any serious issues with this until now, am I right? So what’s up?”

       Hokushin actually glanced back nervously at the other monks this time before answering. 

       “Well… it seems there’s a certain… faction of the population that are still highly interested in seeing you lose this tournament, or indeed, fail to compete at all. More recently there has been a… highly edited recording of your last tournament fight being passed around to… motivated parties, and it’s certainly not been working in our favor.”

       Yusuke laughed at Hokushin’s explanation, but it wasn’t a happy expression. He’d seen enough Mazoku memories by now to know exactly what a demon raid typically looked like, and it wasn’t pretty. And now some asshole was out there motivating other demons to raid random citizens of Tourin because of him? Like hell was he going to let that happen. Yusuke directed another dangerous grin at Hokushin, and didn’t miss the way the monk tensed up briefly, clearly fighting the urge to take a step back. 

       “And you didn’t think to tell me this because…?”

       Hokushin actually stood up a little straighter at the question, and stared him dead in the eye as he answered back.

       “I was under the impression that you didn’t care to involve yourself in ‘leadership’ or ‘demon politics’.”

       Yusuke almost immediately deflated, squinting back at Hokushin’s triumphant glare. The monk knew he had won this argument, fair and square, and there was nothing Yusuke could say about it. So Yusuke huffed, and looked away, instead. 

       “You know, Hokushin, I don’t think I actually know where all the borders of Tourin territory are, and there’s still a week before the Tournament starts. You wouldn’t mind showing me, would you?”

       Yusuke could practically hear the bastard grinning as he replied.

       “Of course not, my lord.”

       “I thought I told you not to fucking call me that.”

       It took several days to run the length of Tourin’s territory border, but it was definitely worth the trip. The raiders nearly pissed themselves the moment they saw him coming, and Yusuke barely got the chance to lay hands on any of them, not that they would have presented any real challenge anyway, but it was the people he met who really made the trip interesting. They were all extremely interested to meet him, as Raizen’s heir, for one thing, and they all had plenty to say about it too. 

       Very few of them were as fiercely loyal to Raizen as the monks were, and it was a refreshing change of pace, for once. Yusuke even argued with a few of them, but only on a difference of opinion, and always parted on good terms. It was kind of hard not to, considering what he was there for in the first place.

       By the time they’d returned to Tourin castle, Yusuke could tell Hokushin was very pleased with the whole experience, but the monk, mercifully, kept his comments to himself. 

       With very little time left before the tournament, Raizen’s former friends had already moved on, while Yusuke was away, so he spent the rest of his free time in meditation. Since most of the Mazoku memories he could access were memories of various battles and fights, it really kind of felt like training anyway. 

       There was, occasionally, a memory that wasn’t battle-induced, but since the memories seemed to be chosen randomly, Yusuke couldn’t quite figure out why this occurred. So he ignored it for now, in favor of the much more useful, if a bit gruesome, practical skills he could learn from re-fighting other people’s fights. 

       Truthfully, he had no idea if any of this would actually be helpful at all. But a fight with all the thrill and adrenaline of the real thing, without any of the risks? It was probably fair to say he was just a little bit hooked on the experience. And the memories weren’t always about fights that his ancestors won either. So there was no guaranteed outcome, even in a battle long past.

       Yusuke managed to keep his Mazoku training a secret right up until the third round of the Makai Tournament, when a poor decision left him facing down the full force of Kokou’s attack with nowhere to turn, and a sudden flash of recognition hit him. In a split second he ditched his reiki, and shifted, recalling the memory he would need to effectively counter the move. 

       The execution was flawless, and Yusuke laughed when Kokou screamed in his face afterwards in frustration. The fight was over pretty quickly after that, but Yusuke didn’t really feel too bad about the loss. He was mostly just glad he survived, after Kokou lost her shit like that. 

       When he finally managed to limp his way back to the lobby, he immediately spotted Hiei, Kurama, and Kuwabara headed his way, but he was ambushed by the rest of Raizen’s old buddies before they even got a chance to get close, and Yusuke winced as someone slapped him on the back. He grinned and bore their excitement, and Enki’s apologies, however, at his supposed success. He certainly understood why they were so excited, after all. 

       Still, he was relieved when they finally moved on, and the rest of his friends crowded in close, all speaking at once. 

       “Where did you manage to learn that?”
       “How the hell did you pull that off?”
       “Dude! That was awesome!”

       Yusuke laughed and held up a hand, trying to fend off Kuwabara’s excitement, and Hiei’s slightly overbearing accusation. He addressed Kurama’s question first, instead, with a sly smile. 

       “Family secret.”

       Kurama was old enough, after all, that Yusuke was fairly certain he’d seen the fox, in one of Raizen’s old memories. Not fighting, of course, but fleeing, in the background. And when Kurama leaned away from him slightly in alarm, at his answer, he knew he’d been correct to assume that the fox would know exactly what he was talking about. It was extremely telling, to see that something like that might actually make Kurama afraid of him, for once. Not that he had any real reason to be. 

       Hiei, of course, didn’t miss a thing, and immediately turned on Kurama, directing his accusing stare towards the fox, instead.

       “What? What is it? What did he do?”

       Kurama shook his head.

       “It’s a Mazoku secret. Nobody knows how they do it.”

       Yusuke grinned.

       “Want me to tell you?”

       All of a sudden, Kurama was leaning forward again, his eyes a little less green than they really should be.

       “You would do that? You would actually tell me?”

       Yusuke laughed at the fox’s obvious interest. 

       “You know what, fox boy? You beat me in one of these tournament rounds someday? And yeah, maybe I’ll tell you.”

       Yusuke only grinned when Kurama huffed at him, and he flung his arm over Kuwabara’s shoulders when the man voiced his obvious confusion at the situation. He began steering the now bickering group towards the nearest cafeteria location instead, so he could sit down, and eat, and watch the rest of the competition in relative comfort while his friends debated amongst themselves what exactly had just gone down during his last match.

Chapter Text

       Yusuke didn’t really have a reason to linger in Tourin, after the tournament. He just… didn’t have anywhere better to be. And everyone else, it seemed, was too busy doing their own thing. 

       It felt like Keiko was determined to never leave school, and had finally started teaching, now that she was done with her studies. It was definitely weird, knowing that he had a teacher for a best friend but... in reality, it really wasn’t all that different from being friends with someone like Kurama. Keiko was just a heck of a lot smarter than him. She always had been. But, like Kurama, it meant that she was always very busy doing stuff. 

       Kuwabara had managed to graduate just fine, but seemed to be struggling to settle on a career. The last time Yusuke had heard from him, he had been helping Yukina out with the homestays and tourists at Genkai’s shrine. He’d even offered to save Yusuke a room, so the Mazoku could come and visit sometime, but Yusuke, quite guiltily, had politely declined. 

       It was difficult, trying to describe his sudden reluctance to come and visit the place, to the other psychic, but Genkai’s had always been more than just a home to him. And that was kind of a problem. 

       Once the initial apprehension over the barrier being dropped had faded, the guests, both human and demon, had rapidly increased, and Yukina, after having lived with the Kuwabaras for several years by that point, had effortlessly stepped in as both a host and an ambassador at the shrine, managing the complex needs of visitors from both realms with an unshakeable politeness that Yusuke could never even dream of achieving. 

       Yusuke had tried to help out, at first. He was a recognizable face to many of the visitors from Makai after all, and it had been fun to see the looks on demons’ faces when they realized they were being welcomed to Ningenkai by ‘that guy who held the tournament’. It was even funnier when they realized that he already knew all the rules and customs of the human realm as well, because he had grown up here. 

       But that didn’t change the fact that he was a demon. And a highly territorial one at that. 

       Living at Genkai’s very quickly became a test of his self control, and his patience. With so many other unfamiliar demons around, eating and sleeping and living in his home, Yusuke found himself spending more and more time outdoors, far away from the house itself, in order to avoid running into anyone or anything that might set him off. 

       It hadn’t taken Yukina long to catch on, and she'd tracked him down late one evening while he was out smoking a cigarette, spending time with his spirit beast as he waited for the rest of the patrons to settle in for the night. She had thanked him for his help, and very gently assured him that he was under no obligation to stay, if it was truly a hardship for him. 

       Giving up on the place had been far harder for him than he could ever admit. But there was just no denying the good work that Yukina was doing there. And it was what ‘baa-san would have wanted. 

       So he had left, and Kuwabara had taken his place. It was a good arrangement, and Yusuke was glad to hear that the shrine had continued to grow, in his absence. 

       Tourin, on the other hand, was almost irritatingly quiet in contrast, after the tournament had ended, and there were only so many times Yusuke could poke around the castle, looking for something interesting to hold his attention. Just when he’d begun to consider running off again to track down Hiei, or any one of his other, equally elusive demon friends, people started showing up. 

       Yusuke ignored them at first, immediately shuttling off any individual who mentioned the words ‘heir’ or ‘prince’ to him in Hokushin’s direction. But there were a few who were either clever enough, or just plain ignorant enough, to simply walk up to him and start talking. So Yusuke listened. And more often than not, he found himself engaged in the conversation after only a few minutes thanks to his own curiosity. 

       It seemed that, after his little trip around the border with Hokushin, word had finally gotten out that Raizen’s heir was a demon who could be reasoned with, and of course Yusuke just couldn’t help but get himself involved, the very moment someone came to him with a legitimate problem. Hokushin had certainly been surprised, the first time Yusuke'd shown up with a concerned citizen in tow, asking how they could help the man. 

       It soon became a regular occurrence however, and Yusuke found himself learning, bit by bit, as he addressed the concerns of the demons who came to him for help, the duties of his station, without really ever thinking too much about it. He never really stopped to think about the fact that none of the monks ever hesitated to do what he asked of them, because the only thing he ever asked them to do was to help someone, or to help him figure something out. 

       It was a little weird getting used to having other people do things like cook and clean up after him, but it wasn't like they stopped him from going down to the kitchen to cook a meal for himself whenever he felt like it either. Things just worked differently, when you lived in a damn castle with several dozen other people. Laundry got done on a schedule, not just whenever, and meal times were regular occurrences, something that Yusuke, admittedly, wasn't exactly familiar with, given his upbringing. 

       Yusuke tried to remember to keep up with his Mazoku meditations as well, but some of the memories had started to repeat, by that point, and he still hadn't figured out how each memory was recalled, or why it was chosen. The novelty of it had kind of worn off already, and although it was still an interesting way to spend an otherwise boring afternoon, Yusuke found himself pulling away from the practice, unintentionally. 

       He was just meeting too many new people, and learning too many new and interesting things about Makai to be worried about rehashing some old dead demons’ fights he had already seen before. And if he’d already learned all he could from those old memories, then what was the point of just sitting around reliving them again?

Chapter Text

       Yusuke can feel an itching, crawling restlessness dancing across his skin, but it is only a feeling. He cannot scratch. He can’t do much of anything, it seems. He simply endures it, in the darkness. There is a sense of anticipation too, as if he can feel the shape of something out there, just on the edge of his awareness, cautiously moving closer. 

       His frustration is palpable, and the urge to forcibly claw his way out of this void is growing fast. It is a suffocating place, growing ever smaller, and the pressure is agonizing. Being forced into stillness, when he is so sure that freedom lies just beyond his reach, is unacceptable, and so he does what he has always done. He fights back. 

       A hairline fracture of light, and relief, is the only reward for his struggle. But it is something. And so he continues, straining for any ounce of movement, any fraction of freedom. Slowly the cracks begin to spread, spider-webbing their too-bright lines of light across the darkness. It is still not enough. 

       The pace is agonizing, but it is better than giving in to the oppressive darkness pressing in around him, so Yusuke doesn’t allow himself to stop. He doesn’t allow himself to give in to the pain, or fatigue. He has made his choice, and he will see it through, no matter what it costs him. 

       Just when he is starting to wonder if the thing that awaits him, outside this darkness, is worth it, something punches a jagged hole of light straight through from the outside. He blinks, stunned only for a moment before he is ripping away at the edges with renewed determination, and it isn’t long before he is finally clawing his way free. 

       But the light outside is just as blinding as the dark, and Yusuke feels a heaviness settling into his limbs as voices begin to drift into his awareness. It is a group of people, in the middle of a conversation, and they are talking about him. They want to kill him, for who he is. Monster. Demon. As if that is all that matters now. A wave of fury threatens to overtake him, but a single dissenting voice from among the rest makes him pause, and he catches himself smiling instead. He knows what he needs to do now.

       Sitting up in bed, Yusuke leans forward and cradles his head in his hands for a few moments in silence as the dream slowly fades. Although he’s not sure if he can really call it that. He knows at least part of it is his own memory, haunting him. He will never forget lying there, listening to the Spirit Defense Force argue with Koenma over how badly they wanted to kill him, just when he’d realized he wasn’t already dead. But the other stuff?

       He can still feel the ache of it in his bones as he drags himself out of bed to pull on a sturdy pair of clothes. He needs to get out of here for a while. He doesn’t bother informing anyone, he just walks himself right out of the castle, and takes off. 

       He’s not sure how long he runs for, exactly, or what it is he’s chasing, but after a few more days of nothing but furious freedom, a black streak comes zipping across the landscape. Yusuke grins as Hiei crashes into him, full force. The impact of their initial greeting leaves a sizable crater, but neither of them can be bothered to care as the scuffle continues, leaving a trail of shattered rock and char behind them. 

       Yusuke is surprised, at first, when Hiei sends a dragon rocketing towards him, but the other demon seems tellingly unconcerned as he watches the Mazoku turn it effortlessly back towards him. When Hiei reabsorbs the dragon, and comes at him again, Yusuke suddenly remembers that Hiei has never been anything less than completely serious about every single one of his fights. The thought brings him some relief. Hiei didn’t come out here to hold back. So neither will he. 

       The fight lasts for over a week, and by the end of it both of them are down in the dirt, bloody and beaten and snarling, all energy depleted, weapons forgotten in favor of fists and claws and teeth. But neither one will strike the finishing blow, and they both know it. So when a stillness settles between them, each of them too tired to make the next move, Hiei finally speaks. 

       “Feel better?”

       Yusuke grins with a mouth full of blood and grit.

       “Yeah… thanks.”

       He nearly laughs when he sees Hiei’s eyelids start to flutter, a telltale sign that the demon has already given in to his summoning fatigue. But Hiei’s mouth also quirks up in the quick hint of a smirk, just before he begins to topple. 

       “Don’t… mention it.”

       Yusuke exhales deeply as Hiei hits the dirt, already fully unconscious. It takes far more effort than he feels like he has the energy for, but he takes the time to drag the both of them to a more defensible location anyway, partially tucking them away behind a pile of rubble their fight had left behind before passing out himself. 

       The next time Yusuke wakes, he is back in his own bed, in Tourin castle. He is surprised that Hiei even bothered to carry him all the way back. But it is not Hiei who is seated at his bedside. Yusuke pushes himself up to stare incredulously over at the familiar presence currently sleeping, hunched over himself, in a chair that’s been pulled up next to the bed.

       “Kuwabara?”

       Kuwabara startles awake at the sound of his own name and immediately stands, stomping the few steps over to Yusuke’s side in order to slug him hard in the shoulder. 

       “Ow. Hey- whoa. Hold on there. It’s okay! I’m okay!” 

       Yusuke laughs at the punch - it didn’t really hurt, after all - but is immediately derailed by the sudden appearance of tears welling up in the psychic’s eyes. He lets Kuwabara pull him into a crushing hug with no resistance, reaching up to pat the big guy awkwardly on the back. 

       “Asshole.”

       Yusuke laughs again at the muffled insult, but doesn’t try to pull away, letting the contact last for as long as Kuwabara needs it to. 

       “I’m sorry…”

       Yusuke isn’t quite sure what he’s sorry for yet, but if it’s made his friend worry this much about him, then it’s worth apologizing for anyway. He can get the details later. 

       Kuwabara finally pulls away in alarm when Yusuke’s stomach growls loudly in the silence, and Yusuke winces at how familiar it sounds. Within seconds, his bedroom door is being flung wide open, startling the both of them, and Hokushin marches in with a tray laden with an absolutely ridiculous amount of food. 

       Yusuke’s insides twist with guilt at the sight of Hokushin’s dead-eyed stare, but all that food is already making his mouth water, and he immediately tosses his bedding aside so he can make his way over to the small table on the other side of the room instead. 

       “Dude…”

       Yusuke doesn’t even glance back at Kuwabara’s comment, already fully fixated on the food in front of him. 

       “What?”

       If the idiot has a problem seeing him in nothing but his underwear, then he’s free to leave. Yusuke knows he can always track him down later. Because holy shit is he hungry right now. He wastes no time stuffing his face the very moment he comes within grabbing range, before he’s even sat his ass down in the chair. 

       “You look like shit.”

       Yusuke grunts at the comment, and keeps eating, only belatedly realizing that Hokusin hasn’t moved a single inch from his side, since he’d set the tray down. Glancing up, Yusuke swallows hard when he finally sees that Hokushin is watching him eat, and he straightens up in his chair to face the monk properly.

       “Thank you, Hokushin. I will eat all of it. I promise.”

       Yusuke gives Hokushin a guilty smile.

       “And if I don’t, Kuwabara will rat me out, isn’t that right Kuwabara?”

       Yusuke still doesn’t turn to face the psychic, but he can hear the sound of him dragging his chair across the floor, so he can join Yusuke at the table. 

       “Damn right.”

       Yusuke watches Hokushin’s expression finally begin to soften as he glances between the two of them, and the monk gives him a nod. 

       “Alright then…”

       Yusuke clears his throat, looking up at the monk apologetically once more.

       “And, uh, Hokushin? Could you have somebody bring up some water, too?”

       Hokushin smiles so genuinely back at him that Yusuke has to look away, the guilt still too much for him to bear.

       “Of course…”

       Yusuke finally relaxes when the monk has gone, pulling the door closed behind him, and he returns his attention to the food in front of him, pacing himself this time as Kuwabara pulls up a chair. 

       The psychic watches him steadily pack away a good portion of his meal before he speaks up again. 

       “Why the hell’d you run off like that, man?”

       Yusuke slows his eating, and then stops, pausing to really consider the question, and the accusation contained within it. Why did he run?

       “I… I dunno…”

       “Then figure it the fuck out.”

       Yusuke’s head snaps up at the cold, hard tone in Kuwabara’s voice, and he stares, stunned, back at his friend for a long moment before nodding. 

       “Yeah… okay.”

       Kuwabara leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest, pinning Yusuke to the spot with an expectant stare, and Yusuke swallows hard. Surely he didn’t mean right now?

       But Kuwabara’s gaze is unrelenting, and Yusuke continues to pick at his food in silence. One of the monks returns with a pitcher of water and a couple of mugs. Yusuke thanks them, and they leave again. Kuwabara doesn’t move an inch. 

       Eventually Yusuke gives in with a sigh, sitting back in his chair as he chews his way through an entire roll of bread. 

       “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Kuwabara.”

       Yusuke notices Kuwabara slump a little in his chair out of the corner of his eye, the psychic finally having given up on his dogged glare in favor of a more sympathetic expression. 

       “What you’re doin’ is a damn good job. At least, that’s what Kurama made it sound like. But you know how he is. I’m not really sure I got half the stuff he was sayin’, once he got goin’ on about territories and politics an’ all that.”

       Yusuke blinks over at Kuwabara in surprise. 

       “Kurama was here?”

       Kuwabara grins back at him.

       “Woulda stayed, too. Wanted to. But you were out of it for over a week after Hiei gotcha back here.”

       Yusuke winces again at the news. It looks like he’s in for a hell of a lot more apologizing than he’d anticipated.

       “And… Hiei?”

       Kuwabara nods.

       “He’s alright. I guess he hitched a ride, part of the way? Someone tried to explain it to me. Something about a huge bug castle? I dunno. But Mukuro helped him out, so he didn’t have to drag your ass all the way back here.”

       Yusuke laughs at Kuwabara’s dismissive explanation. It was a bit hard to explain Mukuro’s roving fortresses, without seeing them for yourself. But it's another name to add to the list. 

       “What the hell were you tryina do, all the way out there?”

       Yusuke sobers at the question, staring blankly down at the floor.

       “I wasn’t trying to do anything. I just needed… I just needed to get out.”

       There is a long silence that stretches between them, and Yusuke can feel Kuwabara staring as the psychic considers his answer.

       “Nobody is keeping you here, ya know. If you don’t wanna be here… You can always come back to the temple.”

       Yusuke lifts his head to smile up at Kuwabara, before waving one hand dismissively at him. 

       “Yeah, yeah. I know. But that’s not what I meant. It’s not like that. It’s not this place, it’s… I dunno how to describe it. It’s me.”

       Kuwabara stares at him for a moment longer, and Yusuke isn’t quite sure what to make of the expression on his face. 

       “You can’t run from yourself, Urameshi.”

       “I wasn’t running from anything.”

       “Sure as hell looked like it.”

       Yusuke lets out a frustrated grunt and turns back to the table to down a few glasses of water. He’s clearly not going to change Kuwabara’s mind. So he picks at the food instead.

       “Whatever. You want some of this? Help yourself.”

       “Nuh-uh. You promised Hokushin you would eat it all. I’m not helpin’.”

       Yusuke snorts out another disbelieving note at Kuwabara’s sudden stubbornness, but doesn’t try to argue. 

       “You got a mirror?”

       The question throws him, and Yusuke glances over at Kuwabara quizzically for a moment before managing to come up with an actual answer.

       “Uh. Yeah. Somewhere around here. Probably in there.”

       He waves over at the half-open wardrobe that houses most of his clothes, and notes that it’s looking suspiciously tidy. Someone must have gone through and actually hung all of his clothes up properly while he was out, because he sure as hell never got any better at remembering to do it himself. 

       Kuwabara doesn’t hesitate to get up and take a look for himself, and it doesn’t take long before he’s back, standing a few paces just to one side of Yusuke’s chair, holding something in his hands. When Yusuke turns to look, he freezes in horror at what he sees. 

       The mirror Kuwabara is holding is only about the size of a dinner plate, but he’s standing just far enough back that Yusuke can see nearly his whole self reflected back at him. At least, he’s pretty sure that’s him. He’s just never seen quite so many hard lines and sharp angles before. 

       He thinks about the dead-eyed stare on Hokushin’s face, and the endless days, all blurring together. He thinks about what Kuwabara had said. Out for more than a week, after Hiei had gotten him back. The question is there, in the back of his mind, but he’s not really sure he wants to know the answer. So he doesn’t ask, and turns back to the table in silence. 

       “I told you you look like shit.”

       Yusuke does as he promised, and finishes the tray of food before resting again. Kuwabara sticks around. They talk some more, but the conversation goes nowhere. Yusuke doesn’t know how to explain himself to his friend. Kuwabara was the first, it seems, to suspect that anything was wrong, explaining how he’d seen Yusuke’s spirit beast circling the shrine for days, high up in the air, refusing to come down. That’s why they’d sent Hiei after him. 

       Yusuke doesn’t comment as he listens, but silently adds Yukina’s name to his ever growing list of apologies. He knows that Kuwabara is only here now because she is still back at the shrine, taking care of business as usual. 

       On the third day, Kurama returns. 

       The redhead is across the room before either of them can say a single word in greeting, and Yusuke winces at the sharp slap that lands across his face. But Kurama is already pulling him in for a tight hug immediately afterwards, and Yusuke laughs as he returns the gesture. 

       “Good to see you too, fox. You learn that one from Keiko?”

       Kurama pulls back with a wry smile.

       “Oh, don’t worry. She owes you one herself.”

       Yusuke grimaces apologetically as the redhead holds him firmly at arm’s length, one hand gripping each of his shoulders. Kurama takes a moment just to look at him, the fox’s critical gaze searching for some kind of unspoken answer as he looks the Mazoku over. Apparently satisfied with whatever he’s seen, the redhead simply nods after a moment, and lets Yusuke go before stepping back. 

       The three of them share a meal, and catch up. Yusuke knows he shouldn’t be so surprised at how nosy the fox has been in his absence, but it is still a strange feeling to be talking about Tourin’s territory business with anybody other than the monks. He is always pleased, of course, to hear news of his friends in Ningenkai, and listens politely as Kurama and Kuwabara chat about their own business as well. 

       But the longer the conversation goes on, the more Yusuke feels a growing pit of dread sinking into his gut, and as soon as he gets the chance, he pulls Kurama aside. He simply cannot avoid the question any longer, but knows he couldn’t bear to hear the answer from Kuwabara. 

       “Kurama… just how long was I gone?”

       Kurama faces him with a cold mask of impassivity, and Yusuke braces himself. Whatever the fox is about to tell him, he’s definitely not going to like it. 

       “You were traveling for twenty-six days before Hiei found you. He said your battle lasted nine days, but he wasn’t sure how long he was out before he regained consciousness and was able to contact Mukuro. Perhaps as long as two days. It took thirty-seven days to get you back to Tourin, and from what I understand, you were out for another ten days, after your arrival.”

       Yusuke feels the ice-cold horror of realization slide down his spine, and settle into his bones. Forty-seven days. He was gone for over two months, and practically in a coma for forty-seven days. The sudden weight of a hand on his shoulder startles him out of his shock, and he realizes that Kurama is smiling back at him with a much softer expression this time. 

       “Are you alright?”

       “I… I dunno. I thought I was but… now… I’m not really sure.”

       “You can always ask for help, you know.”

       Yusuke laughs softly, finally returning the fox’s smile. 

       “Yeah, I know. I’m just not really sure this is something anyone else can help me with.”

       Kurama seems to hesitate for a moment, but continues anyway.

       “Is it, perhaps, a family matter?”

       The question surprises Yusuke, and he is suddenly reminded of the dream he had, all those weeks ago. He hadn’t made the connection then, between the dream, and his Mazoku heritage, but it seems so obvious now. He blinks over at the fox, still startled by the revelation. 

       “Yeah, actually… maybe it is…”

       Kurama’s smile widens knowingly as he gives Yusuke’s shoulder a quick squeeze, before dropping it. 

       “Then I’m glad I could help.”

       Kurama leaves later that same day, but Kuwabara continues to hang around, in spite of Yusuke’s repeated reassurances that he does not have to stay. 

       Yusuke endures the slightly overbearing presence of the monks with a similar lack of complaint, allowing himself to be fussed over for the time being. It is suffocating, having so many people constantly focused on him, but at least Kuwabara is getting some amusement out of all the harassment. 

       And he’s not the only one. 

       Yusuke has gotten so used to eating anything Hokushin offers him by this point that he hardly even looks to see what it is before putting it in his mouth. So when he finds himself suddenly crunching into some foul-tasting vegetable, he reacts without thinking, and immediately spits it back out. He can hear Kuwabara laughing, but Yusuke ignores him, turning back to the monk instead.

       “Hokushin!”

       Before he can even start yelling, Hokushin is already laughing right along with Kuwabara, and Yusuke finds himself grinning back at the monk in spite of himself. 

       “What the hell is this shit you're feeding me, you bastard?”

       Yusuke has to wait for the poor guy to stop laughing first, before he can get a straight answer out of him, but he certainly doesn't mind. The feeling of relief, that perhaps he might be forgiven after all, is far better than any explanation the monk could provide. 

       When Hokushin finally manages to compose himself again, he is wiping tears from his eyes, but at least he's smiling. 

       “I'm sorry my lord. I could not resist.”

       Yusuke flings the vegetable back at him with a grin. 

       “Asshole.”

       He doesn't bother to correct Hokushin’s form of address, and simply lives with the discomfort for now. He knows it is a losing battle, trying to get the monks to address him casually, but that doesn't make him hate it any less. At least Kuwabara is kind enough not to tease him about that. As funny as it might be to see some punk from Sarayashiki become accidental demon royalty, he knows it’s not Yusuke’s fault things ended up like this. 

       The next time Kurama shows up, Hiei comes along with him, and Yusuke can't help but laugh as he walks out to greet them. 

       “Well would you look at that. Gangs all here! You gonna hit me too, big guy?”

       Still smiling, Yusuke opens his arms wide, but braces himself, just in case Hiei decides to take the offer and greet him the same way the other two did, after his recovery. But Hiei doesn’t take the bait. He simply stops walking, just a few paces away, and stares back at the Mazoku very seriously instead. 

       “You were much harder to take down than I was anticipating. I expect you to win the next tournament. Don’t disappoint me.”

       Yusuke can feel his mouth hanging open in the dead silence that follows, and he does his best to ignore the heated feeling blooming across his face when Kuwabara suddenly starts laughing.

       “Damn, Hiei. At least buy him dinner first!”

       Yusuke shoves Kuwabara, but the psychic only laughs harder. 

       “Shut the hell up, idiot!”

       Even Kurama is laughing, though he at least has raised a hand to cover his silent expression. Hiei, of course, simply glares daggers over at Kuwabara. 

       “I meant what I said.”

       Before anyone else can respond, Hiei is moving again, striding confidently past the rest of them. Yusuke ignores him in favor of wrestling Kuwabara into a headlock instead, still trying to convince the big idiot to stop laughing at him.  

       When the four of them finally sit down to talk, Yusuke realizes that he's more prepared now to hear Hiei’s version of events, and he wonders if that’s why the other demon waited so long to come and see him. But as Hiei casually describes the journey back to Tourin castle to the three of them, Yusuke can't help but hear all the things that are not being said. 

       Yusuke knows it’s Hiei’s pride that keeps him from admitting that his recovery was just as bad, or worse, than his own. But Hiei is also among friends, who know him perhaps a little better than he would like, and Yusuke catches himself sharing worried glances with Kuwabara several times while the fire demon is still talking. 

       Kurama, no doubt, has already heard most of this particular explanation before, and listens impassively as ever, but privately confirms Yusuke’s suspicions later, when asked. The reason Hiei hadn’t visited earlier was because he was in recovery himself, after the fight, and didn’t want to worry the Mazoku. 

       After Hiei and Kurama have said their goodbyes and headed off again, Yusuke replays the fight in his head' but he still can’t match up the things he’s been told with his own experience. He remembers nothing about his fight with Hiei that would indicate the other demon was struggling to keep up. Did he miss something, somehow? 

       He had never seen Hiei summon the dragon that many times before without passing out. Was that it? Had the dragon taken more from him than Hiei was prepared to give?

       In the end, all Yusuke has are questions with no answers, and Hiei is the only one who can truly explain himself. So he drops the issue for now, resolving to bother the elusive little gremlin about it at a later date. 

       With all the constant fussing over his well-being, Yusuke recovers quickly. He regains the weight he’s lost in less than a month, but Kuwabara refuses to leave until Yusuke promises him that he will come visit, soon. He has no doubt that the stubborn psychic will come and drag his ass back to Ningenkai himself if he doesn’t follow through, so he makes a point to keep close track of the days, after he’s left. 

       With all of his friends gone, and the monks mostly settled back into their usual routines, Yusuke is finally left with some time to think. Remembering Kurama’s suggestion, he thinks back again to the dream he had, just before he left the castle. It had been strangely familiar, he knows, but it has been so long now that he can hardly remember the details. 

       So he decides to meditate on it. If he can recall other Mazoku’s memories that way, then surely he can do the same for his own memories, right? The only real problem he can think of is the selection process. He had never been able to choose which memories came to him, but surely there had to be a way. 

       It's been a while since he’s tried to access any Mazoku memories at all, but the pathway is a familiar one by now, and as he slips into that space where he knows the memories are stored, he tries not to lose his focus on the particular memories he is trying to recall. His own memories. 

       It is a partial success. The first memory he recalls is waking up in Irima cave, and the overwhelming relief of realizing that he wasn’t dead. Again. He knows that this memory, and his strange dream, are connected somehow, but it is still hard to recall why. When the memory shifts suddenly, Yusuke is shocked by the force of his own rage and despair as it washes over him. He is shaking Sensui’s limp body in his hands, as if that will somehow change the fact that the man is dead for good. That a human is dead. 

       Why this? Yusuke barely has time to contemplate the question before he is swept along again by a tide of grief, uncertainty, and fear. He is standing in front of the monks, and he can see his own emotions reflected back at him in every single one of their faces. But he cannot let them see it in his. Raizen is dead, and it’s all up to him now. He has no idea how he could possibly go on, from here, but he owes it to these people to at least try. 

       When the memory tries to shift again, placing him in front of a familiar gravestone back in Ningenkai, Yusuke forces himself out of the memory, breaking the meditation with a sharp, shaky inhale. He has seen enough. 

       Two days pass before Yusuke can bring himself to try again, but experiencing his own memories has made him realize something. The memories he is seeing, from the other Mazoku, are all memories tied to extreme emotions. It makes sense then, that most of them were fights. Why call Mazoku ‘Battle Gods’ if they didn’t spend the most significant portion of their lives fighting? And the memories that weren't battle related? Yusuke had tried not to think too hard about them at the time. It had been uncomfortable, experiencing other Mazoku’s grief over people he had never known. 

       Why was it always the bad feelings that stuck around the longest?

       Not that they were all bad memories, or even violent ones. But looking back at everything he had seen, and experienced, through the lives of other Mazoku, Yusuke couldn’t help but relate. It was much easier to feel pain and anger than it was to feel any kind of euphoria. That was obvious enough from his own memories. 

       After having successfully recalled his own memories last time, Yusuke couldn’t help but wonder if other memories could be targeted and recalled in the same manner. Even if they were someone else’s. 

       He decides that the best place to start is with Raizen. The old man was the only other Mazoku Yusuke had ever really known. But Raizen had known him too, even if only briefly. Would it be possible to recall memories of himself, from Raizen’s point of view? Probably not. The old Mazoku had been so tired by the time Yusuke had gotten to him, that Yusuke doubted the shriveled bastard had it in him to feel anything strongly enough to leave a lasting impression. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t try. 

       Yusuke knew he had seen at least one of Raizen’s memories before. So, fully expecting nothing more than a repeat of what he’d seen previously, as he slipped into the proper meditative state, he was thoroughly unprepared to find himself suddenly staring up at his own hands. He could barely see his target past the massive, swelling force of his own Yo-Gun, but that didn’t matter. The man’s energy was unmistakable. It was Sensui again, mere moments away from death. 

       Although Yusuke’s recognition of the memory was instantaneous, it was the sudden surge of emotion that truly left him reeling. 

       He felt proud. Vindicated. This boy was a Mazoku, but more than that, he was also human. It was a dream that everyone had told him was impossible. Humans and demons? Coexisting? Here, finally, was the proof, and he had lived long enough to see it. The sheer joy, knowing that this was his child, her child, was more than enough. The boy would understand, in time, why he could not let him die here, now. He would not see this dream ended before it had even begun. The boy would only grow stronger. He would take his place on the throne, carrying his impossible dream with him into the future. And nobody could take that from him. His very existence would change the world. There was no stopping it now. He would find the boy, and the boy would find him, and then finally, he could be at peace. He could rest, knowing that he had made a difference, because this boy lived, in his place. 

       The memory cut short just before he could fire the shot, and Yusuke unintentionally shook himself out of his meditation with a sob. He just couldn’t stop. He cried until his eyes had no more tears left to give. Until he was exhausted from the effort of it all. 

       Yusuke spent the next day in silence, locking the door to his room and denying entry to anyone who tried to communicate with him.

       But by the time the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, he had bathed and dressed himself properly, and he opened the door when Hokushin insisted on bringing him dinner. The monk, clearly intent on lecturing him for his behavior, immediately stopped short without saying a single word as soon as he caught sight of Yusuke’s face. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment in silent acknowledgement before Yusuke finally spoke. 

       “Hokushin, we need to talk.”

       The monk nodded seriously, and Yusuke stepped aside to allow him entry. 

       “Of course my lord.”

       For the first time, Yusuke didn’t feel the need to correct him, and simply sat down at the table as Hokushin busied himself with the tray of food he’d brought up with him. 

       “Has Tourin castle ever hosted human guests before?”

       Yusuke couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face at the sight of Hokushin’s shocked expression. 

       “No my lord. Never.”

       “What’d you say we change that, huh?”

       Yusuke’s grin continued to widen as  Hokushin smiled back at him. 

       “And might I ask how you are planning to make this change?”

       Grabbing a piece of fruit off the tray, Yusuke bit into it with a satisfied hum. 

       “I wanna throw a party. But I dunno when. I gotta talk to some people first, and arrange a date for it. Do you think you can handle getting things set up here while I’m gone? I’m hoping that some of our guests will be interested in an extended stay, so they will need proper accommodations.”

       “Of course. I can make arrangements for the necessary accommodations but… if you don’t mind my asking… where will you be going?”

       Yusuke kept on smiling back at Hokushin’s concerned expression as the monk moved to sit with him at the table. 

       “I believe I owe most of our guests an in-person invitation, dontcha think? Though there are a few friends around here that I’d like to invite as well. If I give you a list, d’you think you could manage to track them down for me?”

       “Of course!”

       And just like that, Hokushin was back to smiling again. In fact, Yusuke couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the monk look so excited about something. He nearly laughed. 

       “Great.”

       Turning most of his attention to his dinner then, Yusuke still took the time to answer any questions Hokushin had about normal human accommodations while he did so. They would probably have to keep the human guests’ quarters separate from any demon guest rooms, and Yusuke would probably have to ask Kuwabara come and set up a few wards to keep the miasma at bay, but that was fine. Just because nobody had ever hosted human guests in Tourin castle didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. It just meant that some things would have to change. Because that was the whole point. 

       Because nobody, as it turned out, had ever expected him to be just like Raizen, or Genkai. All anybody ever wanted, Yusuke realized, was for him to be himself.