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feels like this is all i am now

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Toshiko sat in the boardroom, far away enough from Gwen and Owen that she couldn't read their thoughts anymore. She still couldn't believe what she'd heard. She'd always thought they were her friends, but what they thought of her was—

Ianto's voice in her mind startled her as he came up the stairs.

What am I going to do with all of Lisa's clothes? I don't want to get rid of them.

Toshiko's there. Bash her head against the desk until her skull cracks open.

We're all out of sticky notes, I should order some. I'll ask Jack if we need anything else.

He quietly collected the cups and biscuits littering the table.

There's still coffee in this cup. I wish they'd at least put them in the sink instead of leaving them laying around all the time. Doesn't take that long to fill them with water to make sure the coffee doesn't stick to the bottom.

Can't imagine a time when this isn't everything. Pain so constant, like my stomach's full of rats. Feels like this is all I am now. There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt.

He turned to her. "I'm about to brew some of Jack's industrial strength coffee," he said, his expression transpiring nothing of what was going on in his head. "Would you like a cup?"
- "I'm— I'm fine," Toshiko replied. "Thanks, Ianto."

Three cups, then.

He gave Tosh a polite smile and returned to his task.

Poison the coffee. There must be something undetectable you can use in the archives.

Toshiko ripped the pendant from around her neck as soon as he'd turned away from her. All this time, Ianto had been feeling like this — and they'd barely spared a glance towards him, even after he'd made such an impassioned speech about being overlooked. She didn't even remember anyone asking him about his day since that time she'd brought him a coffee. She'd given up on trying so quickly, and now he was back to dealing with everything all alone.

She wished she hadn't heard any of it. It was a complete invasion of privacy — she shouldn't have ever used the necklace in the first place. She'd tell Mary it was the end of it.

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