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So. Many. Fucking. Hair clips.
They just finished their fanmeeting in Japan and for the encore stages their stylists thought it would be cute to put a bunch of little hair clips in Jeonghan’s long hair. And ok, it was cute and Jeonghan liked to be cute sometimes, but right now–right now he was just tired. Tired of traveling, tired of performing, tired of everything. That’s not to say he wants to quit, he just wishes he could sleep for a week. And the members are his family–he is frightened sometimes by how strongly he feels that he couldn’t live without them. So he’ll push through. But right now, he needs to get these fucking clips off of his head before he rips his fucking hair out.
He attempts to take them out, but he can’t see them all and they keep getting more stuck in his hair. He’s about to just go to bed and forget the whole thing, but then before he can give it a moment’s thought, he strides out of his room and marches down the hall of their hotel right to the door he’s looking for. He knocks impatiently, probably a little loud for this hour, but he doesn’t care about that right now.
Seungcheol opens his door looking freshly showered, soft and warm in an oversized shirt and sleep pants, and doesn’t look surprised to see him. This isn’t the first time Jeonghan has shown up at his door late at night, sometimes needing to decompress and talk before bed, sometimes ravenously hungry and in need of a second dinner and someone to share it with, sometimes wanting to sleep with him in his bed–but why, he won’t allow himself to wonder. He does however notice the tense expression on his face, which causes Seungcheol’s brow to furrow in concern.
Jeonghan doesn’t wait for him to say anything, just edges around him into his room in a huff.
“Hannie, what is it?” Seungcheol hesitantly asks, not wanting to set him off any more if he can help it.
Jeonghan points to his head with his little crooked finger, but says nothing.
“Your clips? They’re pretty,” he says with an admiring stare.
“Seungcheol, I want them out. I want them out and I can’t get them out.” He’s taking shorter breaths and getting really worked up and he knows he is about to lose it. He’s just so tired.
“Ok, it’s ok. Come here,” he replies as he pulls him closer by his wrist, rubbing his arms soothingly. “Take a deep breath,” he says, looking at him intently, Jeonghan looking down as if trying not to cry. This is a side of Jeonghan almost no one else gets to see, him usually pushing his personal concerns aside to put the needs of others above his own, Seuncheol treasuring the fact that he’s the one he comes to when he finally accepts his own problems. “Come sit,” he commands as he steers him to sit on the bed.
He breathes in and out with him a few more times to ensure that Jeonghan is settled down before making any move to help with his hair. Seungcheol has a lot of practice with calming down in times of varying degrees of distress. His therapist taught him some breathing exercises that have come in handy many times already. When his breathing seems to have evened out, he tucks Jeonghan’s hair behind his ear and begins plucking the gems from his hair one by one.
It ends up being a little more difficult than he thought, having to be especially careful not to pull any hairs and looking closely to ensure he doesn’t miss any.
When he thinks the clips are all removed, he crouches down in front of Jeonghan, looks up at him, and places his hands on his knees. “There. All better?” he asks gently.
Jeonghan looks him in the eyes for a moment too long and answers “Yes,” before quickly standing to make his way towards the door.
Seungcheol stops him by grabbing his wrist again, but gently, always so gently. “Hannie. Wait.”
Jeonghan doesn’t move any closer, but looks over his shoulder at him.
“Jeonghannie, are you ok?” looking at him with worry in his eyes and voice.
Jeonghan takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, turning back to face him. “I’ll be fine. I’m just tired,” feeling a little guilty about how impatient he was being before.
“I know. But we don’t have to wake up early, so we can rest tonight. Oh,” he stops, looking back into his hair. “I missed one.” He reaches into his hair again to pull out the last clip, but after he discards it, he returns his hand. He cups Jeonghan’s face in his hand and brushes the faint dark circles under his eyes. “Don’t I get a ‘thank you’?”
“Thank you, Cheollie,” Jeonghan whispers to him, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his warm, soft, gentle hands stroking his face.
Seungcheol hesitates before moving his hand to the back of his neck, fingers threaded through his soft, beautiful, long hair, and slowly guides his face closer, slow enough to give Jeonghan a chance to pull away. Jeonghan opens his eyes and lets himself be pulled in, but doesn’t close the distance between them himself. He holds very still, waiting to see if he would actually finally kiss him, looking into Seungcheol’s eyes as if he is daring him.
The truth is, Jeonghan is also tired of waiting for Seungcheol. Tired of just being friends, tired of ignoring him hoping he’ll respond, tired of pretending to be more interested in others to make him jealous. There’s only so many chances and hints you can give a person before giving up. And Jeonghan knows he hasn’t been subtle. Why else would he seek out only Seungcheol for help? Why else would he always seek him out for comfort? Why else would he look at him like he doesn’t look at anyone else? Why else would he stay up with him for hours talking about the kids and the future and everything in between? Why else would he hold his hand and rub his head and hold his arm, every little touch sending a jolt of electricity through his bones? No, he hasn’t been subtle. Seungcheol knows he loves him, he just hasn’t decided what to do about it.
Just when Jeonghan thinks that he is going to pull away, ready to roll his eyes and go back to his own room, Seungcheol closes the last bit of distance and softly brushes his lips against his. It is a sweet, soft kiss and Jeonghan is genuinely shocked, this moment one he has hoped for for years, not feeling tired in the slightest anymore, adrenaline coursing through him giving him a burst of energy. His eyes are wide looking back at Seungcheol now as Seungcheol drops his hands, misinterpreting his reaction, and starts to stammer, “I–I’m sorry, I–probably shouldn’t have done–” He’s cut off by Jeonghan grabbing him and kissing him back. He’s waited long enough and now that Seungcheol has finally, finally made a move, he’s not waiting anymore.
Seungcheol gasps into Jeonghan’s mouth, but as the initial shock wears off, settles into it, reaching out and grabbing his waist. Seungcheol is a romantic, he takes his time and kisses firmly and passionately wanting to touch and taste and savor every moment. Jeonghan is a menace. He bites and nips and licks at Seungcheol until he’s gasping for breath, Jeonghan sucking his tongue before he can catch his breath.
Jeonghan begins to touch Seungcheol, kneading his hands up his chest, pinching at his nipples. At this Seungcheol yelps and puts his hands on Jeonghan’s and moves them to his hips. After another moment, Jeonghan reaches behind him and grabs his ass hard, pulling him against his body, kissing him roughly all the while. It takes Seungcheol all that is in him not to roll his hips into Jeonghan, whose body is firmly against his.
“Jeonghan, Hannie, wait,” Seungcheol manages to say between fervent kisses, putting his hands on Jeonghan’s biceps and holding him at arm’s length. They look at one another, trying to catch their breath. After a moment when their breathing is more even, Seungcheol pulls him back in for another deep kiss, this time leading the way and licking into Jeonghan’s mouth. It’s slower and wetter and Seungcheol feels it in the pit of his stomach. But he knows that Jeonghan is tired. He knows they’ll have more time. All he wants right now is to climb into bed with him and sleep.
“Hannie, it’s late and you’re tired,” he says, breaking the kiss and attempting to pull him towards the bathroom.
Jeonghan’s feet remain planted. Because while kissing Seungcheol had been a moment he was waiting for, he didn’t just want that, he wanted everything. He needs to know that when he wakes up in the morning, things won’t go back to the way they were, the two of them dancing around each other without any actual commitment. He needs to know that in the morning, Seungcheol won't regret this. He needs to know this was the beginning of something and not just a fluke.
“What about tomorrow?” Jeonghan asks, leaving it to Seungcheol to infer the meaning.
“Tomorrow? What about tomorrow?” he questions, not quite understanding.
“What…will we be like tomorrow?”
At this, Seungcheol thinks he understands. “Tomorrow, I’m going to wake up in my bed next to you and I’m going to kiss you and tell you ‘good morning’,” Seungcheol explains, putting his arms around him and holding him close. The words come easily and comfortably, the answer something that he’s wanted for as long as he can remember, never doubting Jeonghan’s affection, but never confident enough in their circumstances that he allowed himself to truly hope for anything to come of it.
“Then what?” Jeonghan responds, finally relaxing his body into Seungcheol and feeling his exhaustion returning.
“Then we’ll go get breakfast and I’ll hold your hand and make sure you eat enough,” he says, smiling and sweet.
“Then what?” He sounds so sleepy now, blinking slowly.
“Then we’ll get on the plane to go home, and I’ll sit next to you, so you can lean your head on me and sleep some more.” His eyes look so fond.
“Then what?” His eyes are half-closed now, he’s smirking and he knows he’s pushing it, seeing how long he can make Seungcheol answer back.
“Then we can be however we want,” he answers patiently, then leans in and kisses him, gently now, sleepily.
“Okay.” He smiles, eyes closed now, beginning to stumble towards the bed.
“Don’t you want to shower first?” Seungcheol asks, knowing he won’t be happy in the morning if he wakes up still feeling sweaty from the concert, but Jeonghan only shakes his head childishly, eyes still closed.
“Come on, I’ll help you,” he offers as he pulls him to the bathroom, even though he’s already showered and ready for bed. He strips himself and Jeonghan of their clothes and turns on the water scalding hot, like Jeonghan likes it. They’ve showered together more times than they can count, Seungcheol even helping him wash his hair, back when it was so long when they debuted. He shampoos his hair again now, feeling both like no time has passed since those days in the dorm when two or three would shower at once to save time and hot water, and also feeling like a completely different man than he was a few hours ago. Jeonghan melts into his touch and lets him take care of him without offering much assistance.
When Seungcheol is through, he steps out and helps Jeonghan out, leaving him in the bathroom for a moment while he grabs some of his own clean clothes for him. They both get dressed and Seungcheol towel dries Jeonghan’s hair until it’s not dripping wet anymore. He watches as Jeonghan brushes his teeth with one of those spare toothbrushes the hotel provides and then leads him to his bed and tucks him in. Then he turns the lights off and gets in bed behind him, draping his arm snugly over his side, rubbing small soothing circles on his arm. Sharing a bed is so commonplace for them that it shouldn’t feel significant, but it does. Now Seungcheol doesn’t have to wonder in the back of his mind why. On the one hand, it feels like home, as comfortable as wearing your favorite sleep clothes and snuggling into bed, and on the other hand it feels exciting and brand new, like the whole world is laid out before them and all they have to do is reach out for it. They both realize that when they wake tomorrow, the things they dared not hope for will still be true.
“Good night, Cheollie,” he says so faintly, Seungcheol barely catches it.
Seungcheol kisses his neck and whispers into his skin, “Good night, Hannie,” wanting to fall asleep immediately so the morning comes all the more quickly.