Work Text:
Bokuto Kotarou's phone is full of shit. There's a little porn, owl videos and pictures, blackmail material to irrelevant people, shit like that. But among those shit is a diamond. A big one. And it's in his camera roll. A 10-minute video of drunk Kuroo Tetsurou babbling about one Sawamura Daichi. And boy is he daring to show it to Daichi.
He laughs to himself as he sends a text to Daichi, telling him to come over because he's got something interesting for him to see.
--
Daichi arrived at Bokuto's dorm room 15 minutes later.
"Bokuto I had to leave Kuroo lying there sick with a headache because of you and if this isn't as worth it and interesting, as you said, I swear to g-"
"No no no I swear this is worth your time," Bokuto said as he raised his right hand. Oh this is worth it, indeed.
"Okay what have you got?" Daichi asked as he sat down at the couch. Not as comfortable but he endured it. Bokuto sat beside Daichi.
"So you know that Kuroo's a talkative drunk, right? Last night was interesting af. Let me get my phone, yaaaahhh here we go," Bokuto explained as he fished for his phone. Daichi watched as Bokuto unlocks his phone and went to the gallery. Then he clicked for a 10-minute video with Kuroo's face distorted (because of the shakiness) as the thumbnail.
"I suggest that you prepare yourself because what you're about to watch will blow your mind I swear." Bokuto said as he pressed play.
The video starts with Kuroo sprawled on Bokuto's couch with a bottle of beer in his right hand. The coffee table is littered with bottles of alcohol and coke. Bokuto knows that Kuroo is a talkative drunk. And damn he talked a lot. He's seen his bestfriend drunk a handful of times now and he just talks about random shit, jumping from topic to topic, nothing interesting. But last night was an interesting one. Kuroo talked about just one topic. And thank god he caught it on camera.
"Y'know Bo, I really really like Sawamura so much. He's literally the most perfect guy that ever walked the earth. He's, like, 100/10 y'know? I mean, have you seen him handle kids? ‘Cause, I went with him and a group of his to some kindergarten for some outreach some time last week I don't know and the kids were soooo loud like what the fuck?--" Kuroo took a swig of his beer. "How can kids get so loud? It's like a fucking heavy metal concert there! And you know what he did? He fucking told them to stay quiet and the little shits listened! He didn't even yell one bit! He dealt with the situation like a goddamn pro! Fucking perfect I tell you. And that fucking build. Those biceps and thighs and abs and oh my god, that ass! I'D TAP THAT ASS EVERY TIME I GET AN OPPORTUNITY!" Kuroo brought down his beer and raised his hands, curled and uncurled his fingers and closed his eyes as he imagined groping Daichi's ass.
"So fucking sexy, Bo! Have you seen his ass when we went to that bar downtown four days ago? So perky and arrrgh oh my god! Those fucking jeans are, like, so fucking perfect, like, perfect like him! And that attitude, all manly and mature and daddy-ish and hnngg I can't, Bo, I can't. I'd be his sugar-baby if he asked me to y'know what I mean? He keeps everyone grounded yeah? He keeps me grounded and frick I would want my ass to be grounded on his dick, but that's a secret okay. And before I forget, THAT VOICE OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT VOICE! So fucking deep and gravely holy shiiiit I'd listen to him while he reads the frickin’ Bible or some dictionary I don't know. But really though oh my god. I love it when he says my name. I mean, my name hadn't sounded so good out of someone's lips before." He imitated Daichi saying his name and he fucking squealed.
"And when he laughs or chuckles, I zoom up to fucking heaven! His laughs are, like, kinda booming and his chuckles are fucking sinful because of that deep voice. Hnnnggg I think I'm getting hard oh my god. Hmm what else? Oh yeah, so earlier I wanted to take a selfie with him because damn, who doesn't want a selfie with mister Perfect? No. One. Or probably someone stupid. So yeah, I took a shot, and when I looked at the picture I was like ‘godaaamn Sawamura Daichi and his perfect smile and perfect teeth holy fuck.’ Wait, lemme get my phone out and show you...there! The dude's just so photogenic seriously what the hell." Kuroo showed Bokuto the picture of him and Daichi. And Daichi's smile was really nice there.
"That smile could cure cancer and bring world peace. No one can disagree with me on that. And those lips, those goddamn lips made me fucking gay for him. Actually everything about him made me gay for him but y'know what I mean. Plump and holy shit, I'd fucking kiss those and bite them until they're red. What would he look like when he's nearing orgasm though? I mean, really? Wait wait I'm imagining it...goddamn oh my gooooood they should put that on those lists for things to see before you die or something, because you won't regret seeing that shit. Sawamura Daichi is a fucking storm that swept me the fuck away. Shit, I need to jack off." The video ended with Kuroo walking to the direction of the bathroom and Bokuto laughing.
"Sooo, when will you ask the poor guy ou--" Bokuto was faced with one Sawamura Daichi, fainted on his couch.