Work Text:
I was outside. At night. Alone.
Two chickens had gone missing, per usual. They did this every night now. Nobody could figure out where they went at night, but they'd always return in the morning. I had argued that they clambered over the fence into the trees next door- nobody wanted to listen.
Tonight, I was viciously determined- fueled by a vengeance pumping within my very blood. I searched the bushes, the ivy-infested tree stumps, I checked the neighbors yards, nowhere could the chicks be seen. I decide to investigate the perimeter of our yard, perhaps stumble upon a hole the chicks squeezed under to escape into the neighborhood. As I approach the area where trees hang lowly over the fence from the neighbors yard, I hear slight rustling. It was faint- almost unheard. I looked up directly above me, and there they sat- two menaces, bloodthirsty and predatory, plotting my demise and how to prey upon me. I gasped and nearly stumbled back, hurriedly switching the flashlight on in my phone and directing the light at them for a better look.
Four malevolent eyes glinting back at me with pure bloodlust.
I decide to swallow my fear and instead be courageous, immediately climbing up the fence where the tree was. I reached up to a thick branch that supported the branches the chicks sat on, their hungry gazes following every move of mine, and began shaking it. First it was a light rustle. Then a shove. Finally I was madly shaking the branch back and forth, not daring to look back as I heard their screeches of alarm. Yet all efforts were in vain. I climb down, winded. I look around and my eyes fall upon a rake resting against the fence nearby. Without a second thought, I grasp the rake and hurriedly begin swinging it at the branches above like an insane person- crying out in desperation and exasperation with every swing. The chicks remain unmoved. I set the rake down in defeat and search again for something of good use. This time my gaze lingers upon the hose. I run over to the tap and turn it on, feeling the water immediately begin gushing through the pipes. I drag the hose over and aim it at the chicks in the trees, still stalking me, and turn it to the highest setting then-
The water came spraying out, hitting one directly in the face. It hollered out in surprise and tumbled backwards, nearly falling. Victory so close yet just out of reach. I retreat to turn off the hose and return to my first technique, this time climbing up to the top of the fence and rattling those branches with every ounce of strength in me. One chick finally surrenders to her fate and falls to the ground, flailing wildly. She makes no haste to rush towards the coop as I jump down from where I had been.
To her horror, the coop was shut! I came running towards her, a maddened look in my eyes as I practically tackled her. She squawks in terror, flailing and flapping as much as possible yet it was too late. I scooped her up and tossed her into the coop. I return to the fence and stare up at the remaining chick who sat perched in those same branches, glowering down at me. I tut and return to the top of the fence, however instead of standing with one hand clinging to the fence for support, I practically begin swinging from the very branch itself! The branches twist and turn, groaning in distress. The chick cries out as the battle goes on. She chooses to follow in her sister's steps- flying out of the branches to the ground and running to the exact same place as her comrade. I repeat my chase and battle with this chick just as I did the previous, clinging onto her ferociously and tossing her into the coop, at last claiming victory. I go inside, winded, soaking wet from sweat with bits of tree in my hair and feathers lingering on my fingertips. I go inside and to my horror--
Everyone was eating dessert.
Without. Me.
The End ❤️❤️
(Based on a true story)