Chapter Text
Kenny remembered the first time he had gone over to Kyle’s house after the group broke up. Kyle seemed to oddly be the most normal out of all the friends. Just usually sat around playing video games, caught up, and helped each other with homework. Meanwhile, Stan’s house always seemed to be in disarray, with Mr. and Mrs. Marsh always fighting. Cartman was well, Cartman. Sometimes cool to hang out with but most of the time Kenny has no idea what version of Cartman he was going to get.
But Kyle seemed to be always stable, Mrs. Broflovski always had food on the table, Ike and Kyle were just as close and Kyle was just as fiery and passionate as ever. And it was something Kenny loved.
And then winter break of ninth grade happened; that’s when Kenny knew something was quite off with Kyle during their hangouts. Kyle was just as enthusiastic as he was now treasurer of the student council and he was in debate.
But there was something almost uncanny about him. Kyle was getting quite pale, his eyes seemed lifeless like a doll, and even though Kyle was already on the slim side from being in cross country and track, now he was getting a bit too thin.
“Are you gonna finish that dude?” Kenny asked as he noticed Kyle only took a bite out of his pizza.
Kyle looked up from his homework, smiled, and pushed the pizza slice towards him.
“I am not hungry,” Kyle stated with a smile.
Kenny sighed as he took the pizza slice from Kyle, wincing at how fragile his wrist was. He had to say something.
“I know I’m not Stan-“, Kenny started.
Kyle scrunched his eyebrows in annoyance at the name of his former best friend.
“I know you are not, you are better than
that piece of shit.”
Kenny shook his head, Kyle still seemed to be holding that grudge from fourth grade. Kenny felt the hope of the group reuniting breaks a little more.
“But you know you can talk to me, Kyle,” Kenny continued.
Kyle looked away and Kenny took in his features. Kenny had no idea why anyone would have believed Kyle would be ranked last on that stupid list from fourth grade. Kyle always had the most beautiful green eyes Kenny had ever seen, fiery red curls, and his smile, which was becoming a rare occurrence nowadays. Over time Kyle just became more attractive. But now he looked like a sad porcelain doll that someone put up on a shelf, beautiful but with no sense of life.
Kyle frowned and Kenny saw something in his eyes…tears? Tears were something he saw often from Cartman and Stan but it was off-putting to see it from the stubborn redhead.
Kyle slammed the book shut.
“It’s just…it’s a lot Kenny,” Kyle explained, “I have to be perfect you know? I have to get straight A’s, and join all these stupid fucking clubs just hoping I can get a “Good job Kyle” from my parents…but nothing I ever do is going to be good enough. I won’t be fucking good enough. I thought if I got an A minus, they’d ask why didn’t I get an A plus. And if I didn’t join a sport they’d be “Oh you are getting a bit chubby” and then started doing track and stopped eating so much they are just “Eat something you’re too skinny”.
Kenny felt a shiver in his spine as everything started to make sense, Kyle’s weight loss, the distance in his eyes, and the uncanny valley nature about him.
That was someone under pressure and was one push from cracking.
Kenny ran his hand through Kyle’s hair, which felt a bit softened by the conditioner.
“Listen man…it’s okay,” he explained, before pulling Kyle into a hug. He hated how weightless the redhead felt in his arms. He hated how Kyle shook in his arms. Most of all Kenny hated how he didn’t know exactly what to say to comfort Kyle.
“Um, you are not perfect and you shouldn’t even try to be…no one can it’ll just drive anyone crazy.”
Kenny didn’t know if it was the winter snow sticking at the window, the familiar smell of cinnamon radiating from Kyle, or the warmth he always felt in Kyle’s room compared to his own but he felt his heart flutter a bit.
Kenny felt like his brain disconnected from his heart.
Kenny wanted nothing but to kiss Kyle…. But as he looked closer at Kyle, his hair was a mess, his body frail. Kenny knew that’ll be a fucked up thing to do to anyone in Kyle’s state. And even if Kyle was fine, he wouldn’t want Kenny. Kenny knew he was seen as either the troublemaker or the charity case in the town. Not exactly the best match for the son of a fucking lawyer.
Kenny continued to hug Kyle and whispered sweet nothings in his ear.
Suddenly Kyle shifted in his arms and looked up at Kenny a bit confused, like he was seeing a stranger. Then Kenny was caught in a mess of red curls as Kyle’s lips made contact with his. It was soft and gentle and short but it was enough to bring Kenny to his knees.
Kenny was a blushing mess after Kyle released him from the kiss. Kenny wished he had that orange parka from childhood so he closed it shut and hid his face.
Kenny had kissed plenty of girls but why did kissing Kyle make him so stupidly happy and gave him all these fucking butterflies?
“Kenny, I’m sorry…it felt like needed to do that,” Kyle explained with a sheepish grin.
“It’s cool man…really,” Kenny stated, trying to play it off, but he was smiling like an idiot, “like I don’t mind um, at all.”
Kyle smiled and leaned into Kenny yet again, and this time Kyle wasn’t shaking with tears besides the occasional hiccup.
There was a buzz on Kenny’s phone, probably to remind him that he was supposed to hang out with Stan tomorrow as part of the agreement.
Kyle snuggled in closer and Kenny felt his senses become clouded with Kyle’s cinnamon scent and the sound of Kyle’s slow breaths.
Kenny realized that perhaps the schedule Cartman, Kyle, and Stan made all those years ago to share friendship custody over him just might have to change.