Work Text:
"We're not dating."
Wonbin says this to Sungchan when he asks what happened between Wonbin and Eunseok last Saturday at Shotaro's party. "No, you don’t need to have a relationship label to kiss while drunk; it’s not about me." Sungchan looks at Wonbin strangely, accepting his attempts to justify himself, and does not risk asking Eunseok for details. It's not like anyone kept spreading gossip.
"No, we are not dating, Sohee; what are we even talking about—where am I and where is Eunseok."
Sohee meticulously looks at the hickeys on Wonbin’s neck peeking out from under his wide sweater and thinks that one of them is clearly at odds with accepting facts. Not that these traces refute the words, but Shotaro still has video recordings of those moments when a decently tipsy Wonbin fawns over the indifferent Eunseok and exposes his neck for kisses. Sohee didn't hold a candle and doesn't know what happened next when everyone went outside to set off fireworks, leaving this couple on the twister mat, but upon their return, Eunseok was flipping through comics as if nothing had happened while a dishevelled Wonbin tried to clean himself up. The sweater pulled off one shoulder revealed a view of a scattering of bites, and Sohee swears that he has never seen such an awkward Wonbin, bashfully hiding his gaze from Eunseok. Well, they're not dating.
Perhaps Eunseok shouldn’t have been led to Wonbin’s midnight messages, which were more like incoherent nonsense, asking him to pick him up from the club. "We’re not dating, Seunghan; he doesn’t even love me." Seunghan nods in disbelief, pursing his lips, and pats the whimpering Wonbin on the shoulder. "And I don't too." Wonbin gulps down the alcohol from someone else’s glass and winces—too sweet, almost like Eunseok’s kisses. He wipes his face with the long sleeves of his stretched sweater, which smells like Eunseok: his tart cologne and strong cigarettes. Wonbin wants to howl. Eunseok finds him almost asleep at the bar and stubbornly ignores Seunghan’s questioning glance. Well, yes, they are not dating; Eunseok just takes Wonbin home every time, and it’s not that he minds staying.
For the first time, Wonbin immediately fell asleep as soon as Eunseok brought him to the sofa. Among the drunken muttering in the car, he could only make out that Wonbin was terribly sorry and, in general, he should not have come for him. Eunseok, in general, agrees, but for some reason he stays for half an hour, looks for headache pills in the medicines, and leaves them along with a bottle of water on the table. In the morning, Wonbin takes a long look at his face, swollen from alcohol, and convinces himself that it doesn’t mean anything. The gaze drops lower - to where hickeys are still visible above the collarbones, absorbed into the honey skin. Wonbin runs his fingers over them, remembering the softness of Eunseok’s lips. And yet, he doesn't love him.
Chanyoung adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose, looking through the thickness of the lenses at the emotionless face of Eunseok, who is going to the bar after midnight. Wonbin again sends drunken messages, again cries into someone else’s shoulder, and again waits for Eunseok to pick him up. Chanyoung has his own opinion on this, but he doesn't voice it, leaving Eunseok the right to independently understand the relationship, which, according to Wonbin, is not for anyone. Eunseok leaves without promising to return, and Chanyoung silently accepts this.
The second time, Wonbin isn’t so drunk; he asks Eunseok to stay until he sobers up, hesitating at the door. Eunseok looks down at him and hands him the keys that Wonbin dropped on the way from the car. There is no need for a key to Wonbin's soul—it’s wide open and pulls Eunseok into the abyss.
Wonbin washes his face with cold water, rubs his palms over his cheeks, which are burning from tension, and bites his lips. Eunseok waits for him in the room to check if Wonbin will fall asleep in the bathroom and hurt his head in a slippery fall. If something happens—come to the rescue. That's what friends do, not lovers. Wonbin fights the urge to smash his reflection in the mirror.
Eunseok is scrolling through his phone's news feed when Wonbin finally comes out of the bathroom and staggers towards him. The sofa bends under the double weight—Wonbin climbs onto Eunseok’s lap, wraps his arms around his neck, and buries himself on the top of his head. They're not dating, but why does Wonbin want to do that so much? Eunseok presses his hands around the waist under Wonbin’s sweatshirt and pulls his hands higher, feeling the heart between his ribs and beating loudly in time with his own. Wonbin starts fidgeting on Eunseok’s hips, imitating what has been maturing between them for a long time, and is afraid that now he will be pushed away, left in miserable solitude, and will never be allowed to close again. But Eunseok breathes heavily, putting his palms on Wonbin’s lower back and moving his lips to his exposed neck. Pokes blindly, inhales more, and bites. Wonbin whimpers, clutching Eunseok's head in his hands as he walks on the edge of agony. They do not kiss—kisses for love that do not exist between them. Eunseok pulls away first, looking at the excited Wonbin, and kisses his Adam’s apple, removing his hands from his hot body. He gently moves him onto the sofa and disappears into the semi-darkness. He doesn't love you, Wonbin, just like you don't love him.
For the third time, Wonbin comes to Eunseok himself—he stands on the threshold of the house, biting his lips in sober indecision, and quietly knocks on the door. He's afraid that Chanyoung will open it and everything will be destroyed. There are no lights in the windows, after midnight, all normal people sleep, but Wonbin has not considered himself like that for a long time. A minute later, Eunseok opens the door, looks at Wonbin with a hard look, and silently lets him in. Wonbin stops in anticipation—even in the darkness of the corridor, he can see how Eunseok’s eyes sparkle, watching him intently. Eunseok is so big and reliable, and he doesn’t love Wonbin, Chanyoung can’t lie. But Wonbin still takes a risk—he reaches higher by touch and kisses Eunseok as if he is grabbing a lifeline. Eunseok pulls Wonbin closer to him, letting the heat from the kisses spread throughout his body.
Perhaps Wonbin will regret it when Eunseok breaks him completely, smears him on the slippery sheets, and won’t let him leave at dawn. Perhaps Eunseok really loves Wonbin back. And Chanyoung will never forgive him.