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The first goddamn drag on a fresh cigarette is always the best. Especially when it feels like it's been ages since your last dose of nicotine. To survive another long day among all the bunch of idiots here at the DPD, there's nothing more effective for Gavin than to lean back for a few minutes, smoke in peace and wait patiently until the nicotine's relaxing effect finally kicks in.
Nice. Easy. And most reliable strategy of a stressed detective to get through all that sick shit the job has to offer. More or less. Besides, everyone, absolutely everyone in the department knows exactly that he's pretty wrecked without coffee and a good smoke from time to time.
Well, screw that!
These days he smokes twice as much, drinks twice as much coffee and takes twice as long to pull his shit together. On top of everything else, he struggles fucking hard to rid his mind of all those awful memories from the crime scenes. However, this is something he merely manages whenever he gets the lucky chance to sleep for more than an hour or two.
Which is pretty rare lately. More specifically, since they have to deal with this fucked-up case, which is gradually pushing them all over the edge.
A goddamn android as a killer. Jesus fucking Christ, they really hit the jackpot with that one. Five victims. Five victims and they still have no fucking idea who this plastic prick is.
This whole case is a real pain in Gavin's ass. To be honest, though, he's not surprised. After all, he knows one thing for sure. There are crazy arseholes everywhere. And it looks like these dipshits aren't much better than humans in that sense either.
But they are a lot harder to catch. Because this little bastard knows what he's doing. It's easy if you don't leave any fucking fingerprints or other genetic material around. Or if you can manipulate virtually any type of security equipment.
When he ever manages to get his hands on him, he'll bust his fucking plastic ass. But right now he feels more like he's going to throw up because he's so damn exhausted and frustrated.
Fowler's lecture is still ringing in his ears. With every following victim, the old man's mood becomes more and more unbearable. Particularly when Hank can't keep his big mouth shut and starts adding fuel to the fire.
And because Gavin is fucking Gavin Reed, he can't keep his mouth shut either and ends up snapping at Hank. Which results in everyone in this wonderful dream team of dickheads pissing each other off. A terrible idea. The team thing. The captain must be really desperate to risk it. But actually Hank is Gavin's smallest problem. Having the oldtimer right under his nose really sucks. The truth is...
Where Hank is, he's not far away, of course.
Connor. CyberLife's smartass prototype.
Mr Perfect, whose fancy investigation skills are fucking useless in this case.
Under normal circumstances, Gavin would be happy to see Connor fail so miserably. But they don't usually work so closely together. And there's no way he should be the one to stop that dumbass from ripping the LED out of his skull.
He shouldn't have been the one. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, he kept his promise. He didn't tell Hank about it.
Gavin regrets it. Something has changed between them since that day. Between Connor and him. Gavin doesn't know what it is. But he doesn't like it. Not a single bit! It's best for him not to think about it at all. Exactly! Don't think about whether this disaster of a deviant is going to snap again. Or those soft, brown eyes...
"Fucking shit!"
Too late, it's happening again. He's already thinking about things which are none of his fucking business. Fucked up and really annoyed with himself, Gavin takes one last deep drag before flicking the end of his cigarette away with his fingers.
His third in the last 15 minutes.
Leaning back and smoking doesn't help any more. There is no sign of relaxation either. Instead, a nagging headache throbs behind his forehead. Well, at least the cold helps to push away some of the rising tiredness inside him.
A little, but not enough. He also really needs a break. Just a few minutes of peace and quiet to clear his head.
Fumbling for another cigarette, Gavin puts his head back and leans more firmly against the wall at his back. As always, the view of the DPD parking lot isn't exactly breathtaking, but in moments like these, he takes what he can get.
It's freezing cold, but Gavin takes a last long breath of the fresh night air. It feels good and also hurts a little. Fresh snow crunches under his feet.
Shuddering, he sticks the new cigarette between his lips.
"Don't you think that's enough?"
In the glow of his flickering lighter, a slim silhouette suddenly appears in the corner of Gavin's left eye. At the last second, he stops himself from wincing.
Trying hard to keep a straight face, he lights his cigarette. Speaking of the devil...Fuck!
But maybe he'll leave if he acts like he didn't hear him.
Exactly! You didn't hear anything! You're alone, nobody's here. Absolutely nobody...
"You shouldn't do that. It's not good for you."
His voice is a little closer now. His steps are soft and smooth, even in the snow. The silhouette becomes a someone far too quickly. A someone with brown hair, soft eyes and an annoying habit of sticking his nose into other people's business.
Gavin grits his teeth. Shit. He can't ignore him any longer.
"Just skip it, okay?" he still tries to shake Connor off as quickly as possible. "I'm not in the mood for that bullshit of yours. Not today."
Sighing, he sucks in a strong puff. As he does so, he stares stubbornly at the cloudy sky above them. He is fully aware of Connor's presence, but of course the little son of a bitch doesn't do him the favour of getting the hell out of there.
He feels Connor's eyes on him.
Goose bumps spread across the back of Gavin's neck. Rougher than absolutely necessary, he finally rips the cigarette out of his mouth.
"Okay, what's your fucking problem?" he snaps rudely. "You fucking..."
Gavin heart skipped a beat as he turns to Connor. He doesn't regret it, no, definitely not. But when he looks him in the face and finds that incredibly distressed expression in his eyes, the Detective's chest tightens.
The LED is glowing red. Connor is still wearing it.
The android's shoulders are slightly hunched, his arms intertwined like he's freezing. Insecure. Vulnerable. Looking for help. A child lost in the darkness.
Gavin swallows dryly. There is a disgusting taste on his tongue.
"You forgot your jacket," says Connor. Nothing more.
Gavin has to laugh. He can't help it.
"You don't say, Sherlock! Wow, case closed, huh?"
He laughs. But it's not a real one. He's too exhausted for that.
Connor tilts his head slightly to one side. The wind plays with his brown hair. A yellow glow mixes with the red of his LED. Carefully, he takes a step up to him. Gavin can almost feel the warmth of his body. So fucking close...
"You should go inside." Connor's voice is warm and gentle. "You're shaking, Gavin."
Gavin. A shiver runs down the detective's spine at the sound of his first name coming out of Connor's mouth. Another thing that has changed slowly but noticeably. Suddenly it was and is more and more often Gavin instead of Detective Reed. Gavin never said a word against it. It sounds good, pretty good. Unfamiliar, still new.
An invisible fist rams itself into Gavin's gut. His breath rises in white clouds between them. His entire body is actually trembling right now.
He bites hard on the inside of his cheek. Fuck!
"Okay, idiot. Listen to me. I'm fine, all right? I, shit!" Gavin groans with a shaky breath, roughly wipes his mouth and nose. "I need this. I need the fucking cold, my cigarettes and a few minutes without this shit in there. Got it?"
He doesn't look directly at Connor, choosing instead to focus on a vague spot on his shoulder. He restlessly rolls the cigarette between his fingertips.
"I see," he hears Connor say after what feels like an eternity. "I didn't mean to disturb you, I'm sorry."
The next thing Gavin notices is a warm, pleasant softness being wrapped around his trembling shoulders. A familiar smell of fresh laundry and coffee immediately hits his nose. Against his will, his stupid body absorbs the warmth like a starving animal.
Gavin swallows as the wind huddles Connor's jacket closer around him.
He will surely regret it. He already knows.
With a growl, he lets out a silent swear. Shit, damn it.
"Hey, Connor." The android's hand is already placed on the touchpad next to the door. "What are you doing here anyway? Missed me that much?"
Connor pulls his fingers back. The corners of his mouth curl into a barely noticeable smile.
"Who knows, Detective. But actually the same as you, I guess. Need some air, like you use to say."
A blue glow flares at his temple. Yellow. Blue. No more red.
"Mhm," Gavin huffs in response. "What about Anderson? Isn't he going to add you to a fucking wanted list if your skinny ass isn't in sight?"
He trusts the old man to do it. Connor and Anderson usually stick together like peas in a pod all the time. And yet it's not Hank who was helping Connor through his emotional breakdown.
Shit, why is he thinking about that again?
"There's no need for that." Connor's brows wrinkle a little. "I think my skinny ass is doing pretty fine on its own."
"Sure," With a puff, Gavin shoves the cigarette into his mouth. "We've seen that..."
Already about to use the lighter, Gavin realises exactly what came over his tongue. He freezes on spot, but doesn't really want to, because it's the truth, isn't it?
The weak hint of a smile on Connor's face fades. The blue turns into a bright yellow. His hand, the same one he used to hold the of the mirror, clenches into a fist.
He doesn't argue. They haven't spoken about it since that day in the restroom.
Gavin sees him swallow. His palm is touching the screen again.
"I've talked Hank into a little break. You should rest too."
The synthetic skin deactivates. The back door unlocks with a soft click. This is Gavin's chance. All he has to do is shut up. He'll have his privacy back in no time. That's what he needs. Right?
Actually, he can't stand that fucking android in the first place.
"Hey, uhm. Connor," he stops him for the second time, to his own disbelief.
He must have lost his mind.
Warm brown meets hazel green. Connor hesitates, waits. Fuck!
"So, if you still need some air. There's probably, I mean, its enough for two. So, fuck, whatever..."
Gavin finally manages to light his cigarette. He hurriedly inhales the biting smoke, sensing how it fills his lungs. Suddenly his cheeks are burning with heat. Smoking, he stares into the darkness, listening carefully for the sound of a door closing.
But instead of the door slamming shut, he notices the crunch of footsteps in the snow. Then a body leans against the wall next to him, so close that their shoulders lightly touch.
Gently, delicately, without pressure.
A warm bundle builds up in Gavin's stomach. His heartbeat speeds up and the tiny hairs on the back of his neck bristle. Out of the corner of his eye, he discreetly looks at Connor.