Chapter Text
“Really? That’s how you want to spend your Saturday?” Loki stared across the table at Stephen and raised his eyebrows.
A smile crept onto Stephen’s face. “What are you saying, that it would take an entire day for you to tell me the fish story?”
Loki scoffed. “‘Fish story.’ That isn’t what I would call it.”
Stephen’s smile grew. “What would you call it, then? ‘That one time in college when you tricked everyone into thinking that you were a fish’? That feels a little long for a title.”
Loki… didn’t have a good answer for him there. “I don’t know. But whatever you call it, the entire story would take a long time to tell.”
“As in a whole day?”
Loki shrugged. “Maybe.”
Stephen looked impressed. “…Huh. Alright, I’ll clear my calendar someday. How’s next Monday?”
The simple question sent a wave of warmth through Loki. Maybe it was a stupid thing to be happy about; at this point he was way too far gone to make any sort of unbiased judgement on that. But the fact that Stephen wanted to hear his stories and learn about every part of him – even the stupid college anecdotes that Thor mentioned in passing to him – and the fact that he’d go out of his way to do it, filled him with an intoxicating level of contentment.
And he loved this. He loved all of it.
These were his favorite kinds of mornings – when he could just sit at the kitchen table with Stephen, ignore the breakfast dishes that they would get around to cleaning eventually, and just be with him. Wanda and Pietro had run off to play somewhere upstairs, and for now they certainly seemed to be occupied. So… They were alone. And that was an enticing thought. They could do anything –
…Maybe the universe heard that half-formed thought and wanted to prove him wrong. Maybe shockingly sudden interruptions were simply a part of raising superpowered children. Or maybe, as Loki suspected, it was a mixture of both.
But, whatever the reason for it, Loki blinked as he barely had time to register a rapid blur rushing down the stairs and felt air whoosh across his face. And, quite suddenly, Pietro was standing at the foot of the kitchen table hopping in place excitedly – a habit he seemed to have enthusiastically picked up from Wanda.
“Daddy! Loki! Daddy! Loki!” Pietro accentuated each name with about four rapid hops, moving so quickly he almost looked like he was vibrating up and down. And Stephen grinned at the eager enthusiasm of it all at the same time that Loki did.
“Did something exciting happen?”
Pietro’s eyes shone as he stopped hopping. “No, but it’s gonna!”
“Oh, do tell,” Loki said with the air of someone that was about to hear remarkable gossip, wrapping his hands around his mug of what at this point was mostly cold tea.
“Well… well…” Pietro looked back at the stairs. “Well, Wanda’s coming. But it’s camping!”
As he spoke the words, sure enough, Wanda came hopping down the stairs. “Yeah, camping!” she called cheerfully as she worked her way down at a much slower pace than her brother.
“We gotta!” Pietro continued. “Cuz Wanda was telling me about the time that you guys all went camping but I didn’t, and it sounds so fun, and I’ve never even been camping, and I wanna go!”
“Yeah,” Wanda agreed, flouncing across the floor to join them. “We gotta take Pietro camping! ‘Cuz we’ve all been, but he hasn’t, so he has to go!”
Loki smiled again. As usual, their enthusiasm was infectious. And he knew he wouldn’t, of course, but, if – somehow – he were to live the rest of his life having his conversations interrupted by adorably and enduringly enthusiastic children, he would be more than okay with that. And, once again, he marveled at their ability to make him actually look fondly on the idea of going camping. (As long as it was with the kids and Stephen, of course – he still never wanted to go camping again with Thor).
But there was, undeniably, a problem here; the winter weather didn’t seem appropriate for such an outing. And Stephen, clearly thinking along the same lines, looked unconvinced. “We definitely could take you camping, Pietro, but it’s December.”
Pietro blinked. “Yeah. So?”
“So there’s just going to be a lot of dead trees and cold water and darkness.”
Pietro looked undeterred. “But it’s camping!”
“True,” Stephen allowed. “But you’d probably like it more if we waited a few months. Then, we could – ” He paused, seeming to reconsider his words, and shook his head, turning towards Loki. “What am I saying? This is the kid that started crying the first time I told him he had to brush his teeth for more than four seconds; he’s not going to want to wait a few months.”
Pietro’s eyes widened in despair. “Moooonths?” He moaned the word like it was an eternal desert of torture stretching out before him.
And it certainly made sense why now wouldn’t be an ideal time to go camping. While Loki was more than used to it, the general combination of dead trees, cold water and darkness wouldn’t be a very appealing one for anyone on a camping trip – much less Midgardian six-year-olds.
But, nonetheless, Pietro wanted to go camping. And that… Hmm.
Loki frowned thoughtfully. “What about camping in space?” As he asked the question, he was hit with a distant sense of how surprised he would’ve been to hear himself bringing up something like camping in space around Stephen and Wanda not too long ago. But they existed in a different world now, and today it made perfect sense.
“Space camping?” Wanda asked with wide, wonderstruck eyes.
“Cool!” Pietro yelled.
And Loki nodded before looking to Stephen.
In response, Stephen shrugged. “Well, do you know anywhere that would be good to camp?” The obvious addition of ‘with two six-year-olds?’ went unspoken.
And that was an understandable question, of course. He’d done more than his fair share of space camping over the years, and for the most part he’d assembled an enormous mental index of places that would be horrible to take his Midgardian boyfriend and said boyfriend’s two six-year-olds camping. But… He could think of one place in particular that could work.
He’d never camped there himself, but he’d made the journey there several times over the centuries for some dignitary social or other. And he’d always thought it was beautiful.
Loki nodded again. “I know of a place, yes. And it doesn’t have any fire pits or slime monsters or anything, so. You know. It would be good for almost seven-year-olds.” (Because god-forbid he call them six-year-olds out loud; he’d made that mistake yesterday.)
“Fire pits?”
“Slime monsters?”
“Mhm, absolutely none,” Loki confirmed calmly, as though he didn’t plainly hear the obvious undertone of far too much longing in their voices. Wanda and Pietro were much too interested in danger for his liking. Of course, Stephen was, too, but he was an adult that could make his own decisions and there wasn’t much that Loki could do on that front.
“Great,” Stephen said briskly. “Let’s go to the place that doesn’t have fire pits or slime monsters, then.”
Despite their obvious disappointment at this apparent loss, Wanda and Pietro still cheered up considerably at the confirmation of their camping trip.
“Yeah, okay,” Wanda agreed.
“Camping, camping, camping!”
The kaleidoscope of color and light shining throughout this place really was just as breathtakingly beautiful as Loki remembered.
Golden sunlight filtered through the thousands of glittering, glass trees composed of twisting rainbows of color that stretched far and wide all around them. And he and Stephen stood in a blue-green clearing of oddly soft, spongy glass-like material that was dotted with rainbow flowers composed of the same curiously flexible material, as multiple soft pathways around them traversed through the forest of glass.
Or, at least, glass was the closest term that Loki had to describe whatever this place’s ground was composed of. If it was glass, though, it certainly didn’t have the same properties as the majority of glass that he knew of. Because, as far as he could tell, everything here was unbreakable – which was fortunate, considering the way that Wanda and Pietro had instantly started rolling around in the soft clearing.
If it had been breakable glass, Loki would have been much more worried about them. But, as it was, he knew this small world was perfectly safe for them.
“What’s this place called?” Stephen asked, drinking in their surroundings with eyes lit with fascination.
“It doesn’t have a name,” Loki said simply. “It just is.”
“So… what, no one lives here?”
Loki shrugged. “Unless you can eat and drink unbreakable glass, you’re going to have a difficult time living here. As far as I know, that’s all this place is made of.”
Stephen made a considering sound. “Still, maybe a construct could live here. Or some sort of being that just eats pure light.”
“Well, this place isn’t very well-known. It’s mostly been used by high-ranking dignitaries and royals for occasional events.”
“Huh. That seems…” Stephen trailed off, as though he wasn’t exactly sure how to say what he was thinking.
“Selfish?”
Stephen shrugged. “To put it succinctly; yeah. But I guess gatekeeping and elitism can happen on any planet.”
It was refreshing to an almost surprising degree to hear Stephen agreeing out loud with what Loki had known for so long but had never voiced. His paranoia had ensured that he’d never discussed this with a soul.
But… nothing was stopping him now.
He fully trusted Stephen. And the idea that he could discuss whatever he wanted with him – without any fear of complex political retribution – felt wonderfully freeing.
Loki gazed at the clearing that Wanda and Pietro were playing in as he spoke his next words. “You aren’t wrong. The general system of power throughout the nine realms has too many problems to count. But one of the many problems is that the only people who really have the ability to change anything are the ones that are currently benefitting from the way things are, so…”
“…Hmm. Well, Earth isn’t much better, we – ” Stephen cut himself off abruptly before calling in a louder voice, “Wanda, honey, don’t roll out of the clearing, okay? I want to be able to see you.”
Wanda, at the edge of where the glass trees met the clearing, merely shrugged on the ground and started rolling towards the center of the clearing again. “Okay!”
Stephen seemed to relax at that, but he kept his eyes on her. And Loki loved endless things about his boyfriend. But one of the many, many parts that he loved about him was his ability to be so many things at the same time.
He could have complex conversations with him about engrained societal injustices but still be an amazing parent. Loki had a complicated relationship with his own father, and he did love him at the end of the day, but the man had never shown him either of those things, let alone simultaneously.
And he just… Well, he was so immeasurably glad that Wanda and Pietro wouldn’t be able to look back in twenty years and say the same thing about their father. Instead, they were going to look back and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Stephen had been – and always would be – incredible.
But… Still, he didn’t want Stephen to worry about Wanda and Pietro, and he took his hand in his own. “They’ll be fine even if you can’t see them, Stephen; there isn’t anything that can hurt them here.”
At his words, Stephen curled his fingers around Loki’s and nodded. But he still wasn’t taking his eyes off of Wanda. And Loki suddenly felt a flicker of worry. What was he thinking right now?
Stephen took a breath and seemed to make the conscious choice to look at Loki instead. And he must have seen the worry in Loki’s eyes, because he sighed. “I… still worry about her, you know? After everything that happened.”
Loki nodded knowingly. He could more than understand that. He worried about all three of them almost every day. And that worry wasn’t at all helped by the fact that every memory of every moment that any of them had been in danger was enduringly haunting.
Still, somehow… He knew he wasn’t, technically speaking – no one was – but Loki always felt like Stephen was perfect. And to hear him say that he got caught up in worry for the people he loved, too? Even when they were on an incredibly safe uninhabited planet?
Well. It was a small reminder that maybe Loki wasn’t so… ‘obsessed’ to worry about them the way that he did. No matter what ridiculous words Thor might throw around.
And Stephen frowned. “Wanda developed some separation anxiety after everything, but… I don’t know, I did, too. There were times when she could have died, and…” Stephen turned back to watch his daughter rolling happily throughout the clearing, looking lost in thought for a moment. “After the car crash, Wanda’s separation anxiety was the worst I’ve ever seen it, and I remember wondering what Wanda thought she could even do – how her being around me could possibly stop me from hypothetically getting hurt. But… I get it now. It doesn’t make sense. It’s just… blind worry after seeing her getting hurt. Then kidnapped. And it doesn’t really go away.”
Loki held onto Stephen’s hand more tightly. Yet again, he knew exactly what he meant. He wished he didn’t, but he did.
“I know,” he said simply. He disentangled his hand from Stephen’s to wrap his arms around his waist. And he felt more warmth than he did from the three suns in the sky as Stephen relaxed into his touch.
Loki turned his head to, like Stephen, watch Wanda and Pietro still reveling in the strangely textured field. “At least Red Cloud’s out of the picture,” he offered. “That certainly helps me feel better.”
Stephen nodded against him. “That definitely does help.”
Loki shrugged. “But it isn’t all of it, is it?”
“Nope,” Stephen said softly, popping the ‘p’ as he kept watching his children, who had now transitioned to doing enthusiastic somersaults around the field. (Or, at least, Wanda was doing somersaults. All he could see of Pietro was a knee-level blur moving around the clearing at superhuman speed. But Loki assumed Pietro was doing somersaults, too – he and Wanda generally liked to be doing the same things, after all.)
And Loki fell silent for a time as he watched them. Despite the worry, this was nice. He let out a short sigh. “I just wish you didn’t have to worry about them, Stephen.”
He wished none of them had to worry.
To his surprise, though, it sounded like Stephen was smiling when he responded to Loki’s entirely serious statement. “Well, I was always going to worry about them. I worried about Wanda before I met you. But it was more about things like… I don’t know, not wanting her to get sick at daycare. And she always got sick at daycare, let me tell you.”
…Loki couldn’t even imagine how panicked he would have gotten at something like that. He thought about Stephen navigating Wanda’s coughs and fevers – without Pietro, without him – and... Well. He was just glad that Stephen would never have to do anything like that again. For as long as he would have him, Loki would be there. Doing his best to make their lives better and loving all of them so much it hurt.
But he nodded at Stephen’s words, wanting to speak calmly. “So Wanda’s stressed you out from day one, then?”
“Pretty much.” Stephen shrugged. “But… That’s being a parent, right? You’re always going to worry about your kids. It’s just… worse when you and your boyfriend are superheroes and your kids both have powers.”
Loki sighed. “And we’re never going to stop worrying about them, are we?”
And… oh god. The probably should’ve-been-obvious realization felt distantly morose. Because, even with Red Cloud out of the picture, there would never be nothing to worry about when it came to Wanda and Pietro. And Loki had accepted a long time ago that worry for Stephen was going to be a constant presence in his life for as long as Stephen was alive.
It sounded exhausting – it was exhausting. But it was a trade-off that he would make in a heartbeat, of course. He would infinitely rather know and love and worry about the three of them than never have met them at all.
And, somehow, it felt like Stephen could sense what he was thinking as he shook his head. “Worrying about the people you love is a part of life, though, isn’t it?”
Loki sighed. “I suppose it is.”
Stephen nodded, falling silent for a moment before finally saying, “…You know, though, when I said we’re ‘always going to worry’, that might’ve been a generalization.” And Stephen turned in his arms to face him, his ridiculously beautiful eyes glimmering with sinful intention. “I mean, I’m sure there’ll be some times where we have other things on our minds.”
It was quite obvious to him that Stephen wanted to distract him from his melancholy thoughts. But Loki would happily accept that distraction.
“Stephen Strange. Are you flirting with me in front of your children?” Loki asked with delighted pretend scandal.
“I mean, it’s not like they’re paying attention to us.”
It was true, of course. Wanda and Pietro were entirely wrapped up in their own little world. And, Loki supposed, he and Stephen were wrapped up in theirs. Entirely unsurprisingly, the thought filled him with glowing warmth and contentment.
And sure, there would be worry. But there was also everything else, and there were perfect days like this.
“…Alright, carry on then.”
Eventually Wanda and Pietro started paying attention to them, of course.
As far as Loki could tell, the ‘paying attention to them’ began right about at the point where they decided that they wanted to start playing in a tent instead of glassy ground. So Stephen and Loki began working on putting up the tent.
(It couldn’t be magic, Wanda insisted – it had to be just like the tent that she’d first gone camping in so Pietro could experience it, too.)
And putting up a recreation of a Midgardian tent from R.E.I., Loki rapidly rediscovered, was surprisingly complicated. He didn’t know why the instructions had to be so long, or why the tent had to be so stubbornly unmalleable, but according to Stephen this was par for the course with Midgardian tents.
Unsurprisingly, putting up the tent then transitioned into Wanda and Pietro asking to be rolled up in the canvas like burritos. And somehow – Loki really had no idea why – that made them think of their birthday. And from there, the afternoon turned into a combination of burrito-rolling and the two of them yelling out through rolls what they wanted for their birthday and planning who they were going to invite to their party. (Loki wasn’t sure why they were fixating on their birthday that still wasn’t for two months instead of Christmas, which was in less than two weeks, but he’d long since given up on trying to understand six-year-olds.)
And never mind the tent; they’d finish putting it up eventually. Far more importantly, the afternoon was happy – the kind of happy that Loki could easily have gotten drunk on and lost in forever.
It was happy, and it was nice, and it was healing, and… And Loki could feel them mending.
Old hurt and uncertainties were knitting together to form new memories of pure, untainted happiness before his eyes. And he wanted this for the end of time.
He knew he wouldn’t get it for the end of time, of course. He wasn’t immortal, and Stephen and the kids were even less so to a troubling degree, but… He had it now. And, he hoped, he was going to keep having it.
Every day of burrito rolling and loving them so much he didn’t know what to do with it was bringing them closer and closer together, and slowly adding to what Loki hoped someday would be a mountain of piled up securities – of the three of them knowing just how much he loved them, of them having spent countless hours with him, and of them knowing that he would always be there for more of all of it for as long as they wanted him.
Unsurprisingly, it took a while for Wanda and Pietro to fall asleep.
Loki couldn’t blame them, of course. At their age he would’ve wanted to stay up listening to stories, too.
Because obviously they wanted to listen to stories.
And the last time they’d been camping, Loki had told Wanda a story about a princess getting rescued. Although she hadn’t known then how true the story actually was. This time, though, Wanda wanted to hear more princess stories, and Pietro was just drinking in anything and everything that Loki said with wide, happy eyes. And Loki smiled as he looked over at Stephen, who seemed to be just as interested in the stories as his children were.
And the immutable knowledge wrapped around him like the rising stars; he really, truly did want this – want them – for eternity.
When Wanda and Pietro finally did fall asleep, it was next to Loki. And sure, that was probably in large part due to them simply having been near him when listening to his stories, and them then getting tired enough to snuggle into their sleeping bags and close their eyes.
But they did fall asleep next to him – Pietro snoring softly with his cheek pressed against Loki’s arm and Wanda comfortably sprawled next to her brother – and that made him feel ridiculously content. And when Stephen settled down on Loki’s other side and regarded him with a soft smile before closing his eyes, absolutely everything felt right in the world.
Really, it was the best possible feeling to fall asleep to.
…Or it was, anyway, until he woke up to the exact opposite feeling.