Work Text:
It was a pretty slow day in the Justice League watchtower, most of the people had left because all of the meetings were done, they had completed their work, and most of them just wanted to go home.
"UGHHHH IT'S SOOO BORING" The Flash said
"It is quite boring today" Wonder Woman said
"How about we bet" The Flash said
"Bet? Bet on what?" Superman asked
"On whether on not Batman's a vampire" The Flash said
"Flash that's not polite, it's offensive truly." Superman says
"10 dollars on Batman IS a vampire" Wonder Woman says
"Wonder Woman! I thought you were better than that!" Superman says
"What are you guys doing?" Green lantern asks
"we're betting on whether or not the Bat's a vampire, 5 bucks on yes" Flash says
"7 dollars on yes" Green lantern says
"You know what! Since it seems like I'm the only one with respect for Batman I say 5 dollars on no, he would've told us." Superman says
"How do we even prove this bet? Are we just going to wait until he tells us, if he ever does." Wonder Woman asks
"Hmmmm... I have an idea...." Flash says
The next day Flash walked in with a portable heat lamp
"Why did you bring a heat lamp?" Superman asked
"It's just chilly in here sometimes" Flash lied
"You're going to try and see if Batman's a vampire with it aren't you?" Superman said
"Maybeeee.... OH! here he comes" Flash says as Batman walks in the room
Batman sits next to Flash and starts working.
He tried to focus as much as possible on my work, but then Flash turned his heat lamp towards his face, he groaned as he turned away and covered his eyes.
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"GUYS!! GUESS WHAT!! I THINK I FOUND PROOF!!" Flash said
"What is it?" Wonder woman asks
"When I turned the heating lamp towards Batman, Batman hissed and covered his eyes!" Flash says
"What are you guys doing?" Cyborg asked as he entered the room
"Betting whether or not Batman's a vampire" Green lantern said
"Oh then 5 bucks on yes" Cyborg said
The next day Green Lantern brought a bottle of holy water, while Batman wasn't looking he poured some into Batman's water bottle, which didn't have water in it, it looked like some tea?
When Batman took a sip he spat it out.
Green lantern almost yelled in shock
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"GUYS WHEN I PUT HOLY WATER IN SPOOKY'S DRINK HE SPAT IT OUT!!!!!" Green lantern said
"I heard that there's a bet about Batman being a vampire. Well I say 10 dollars on yes." Green Arrow said
"I'll bring some garlic bread tomorrow." Wonder Woman said
Tomorrow Wonder Woman brings in enough garlic bread for everyone
"Batman would you care to try some bread?" Wonder Woman asked
Batman grabbed the piece of garlic bread and then smelled it, once he realized it was garlic bread he put it down immediately and went to wash his hands.
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"Did you see him put the garlic bread back after he smelt it and then washed his hands?" Wonder Woman says
"Yea weird..." Cyborg says
Cyborg walks up to Batman and hands him a sliver bar. Batman inspects it for a second then hands it back.
"That is pure silver isn't it? Well sorry but no." Batman says as he walks away
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Later that day, Green arrow puts a rosary on Batman's desk, when Batman sees this he pushes the rosary away with a pen to the other desk.
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The Justice League notices that there's a bat following him.
"He's definitely a friend with a bat" Some of the League members said
"Hey batman why is there a bat following you?" The Flash asked
Batman looks behind him and sighs "Robin show yourself."
The bat behind him turns into a kid who appears to be about 9 years old wearing an oversized Superman pajama shirt, blue pajama pants with a small black mask, holding an elephant plush, the kid looked very tired yet full with energy.
"Robin I told you to not follow me when I don't tell you to" Batman says
"But bbbbbb! I wanna meet Superman!!!! PLEASE!!!" The small child says
"Wait... Spooky is this your kid!?!?!?! Is your kid wearing Superman merch?!?!??!" Green lantern asks giggling
"So if Spooky's kid is a vampire then does that mean that Spooky is a vampire?" Green arrow asks
"I'm not a vampire" Batman says
"I am!" The kid says smiling
"Spooky if you're not a vampire then why did you basically hiss at light" The Flash asks
"Because ever since I was a child I've hated light and my house is mostly dim lit and I don't go outside during the day much, especially since I had my child, and I had a concussion the day before." Batman explains
"Then how come you spat out your drink when I put holy water in it?" Green Lantern asks
"You put holy water in my drink? I did spit out a drink a few days ago because it was watered down and tasted terrible." Batman says
"What about when I made the garlic bread, why did you wash your hands?" Wonder Woman asks
"I'm allergic to garlic" Batman says
"what about the silver bar?" Cyborg asks
"I don't have anything silver anymore because Robin is a vampire and will get hurt." Batman says
"And the rosary, why'd you push it away with a pen?" Green Arrow asks
"I just happened to have a pen in my hands, and I pushed it away because I'm atheist." Batman said
"Then why do you have a vampire kid?" Most of the Justice League asked
"He's adopted." Batman said