Chapter Text
Karaoke Time
KN: TELL ME WHY
KS, ST, EZ: Ain’t nothing but a heartache
Y: Left.
KN: TEEEEELL ME WHY
KS, ST, EZ: Ain’t nothing but a mistake
Y: Left here, K'Sante.
KN: Tell me why I never wanna hear you saay—PHEL
AP, on the Otamatone: [Instrumental] I want it that way~
Y: TURN LEFT. TURN LEFT NOW
They take a vote
Y: Those for McDonald’s?
KN, ST: [Hand raise]
Y: Those for Starbucks?
KS, EZ, AP: [Hand raise]
Y, in his head: Thank god.
Y: Starbucks it is.
KN, a whiny bitch: LOSERS. ALL OF YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S A… ah, fuck it.
A truck ad drives by. It’s K/DA with collab burgers and drinks, posed camera perfect like they are. Random card collectible with every meal purchased at… McDonald’s.
Everyone except KN: Oh.
KN: [Fucking feels like dying]
They pull up at the drive-thru. It’s McDonald’s.
[Everyone] Seatbelts unbuckling, fidgeting.
Ez really likes the key art on Ahri’s collectible card. Yone thought it would be cool to check out the marketing materials for the collab. So McDonald’s it was.
EZ, leaning way out of the car window to look at the menu: Woah. Ahri’s Bulgogi Burger. Sera’s Yuja Tea Soda.
KN: [does the exact same thing but on Ez’s side of the car, pushing Ez’s face out of the way] Fuck. Akali gets waffle fries. How the heck is that fair—
ST, leaning back so that AP gets a view of the collab menu on his side of the car: You gettin’ that?
AP, view still 80% blocked by ST the wall: … [eyerolls]
Y to KS: I need a cold brew.
KS: I don’t think they have that here, Yone. And I need a grilled chicken salad.
Y: … I don’t think they serve that here either.
Both: [sigh]
At the drive-thru window, they take turns calling out orders.
KS: We’ll have two iced coffees, one serving of apple slices, and a Filet-O-Fish. Thank you.
EZ: Can I get a KDA meal without the burger? No? Okay, never mind—yes, I’ll have it. And a vanilla shake in small, please.
KN: [sneers at EZ getting a vanilla shake] aw, wittle boi ez needs his wittle milkshake
EZ: [ignores KN, calls over his shoulder at ST and AP] you guys getting anything?
AP, sitting up: [whispers to ST]
ST, leaning down, an ear to AP’s mask: Yeah. That’s one McFlurry… nuggets—ten of ‘em—and uh… just the soda?
AP: [nods]
ST: The KDA soda. In small.
Server tells him through the intercom that the collab meal doesn’t come in A la carte. They can’t do individual orders like that.
AP: [sadge emote]
ST: Guess I’ll get the meal then.
EZ, raised brow: Didn’t you say you were gonna go for the double quarter pounder?
ST, shrugging: A burger’s a burger.
AP: [smiling cat emote] Thanks.
ST: Kayn?
KN: TWO collab meals for me—don’t forget the special sauce on that one—and an extra side of regular fries… and a strawberry shake.
EZ: [jaw drops, shades sliding down the bridge of his nose] SO WHO DID YOU SAY WAS A LITTLE BOY—
EXTRA: Unboxing the random card collectible that comes with every KDA meal.
ST and AP get Kai’sa’s card
EZ gets Akali’s
KN, peering into the packaging and knowing immediately that he’s got another Akali dupe, but also an Ahri shiny. One in a million. He takes it out.
EZ, removing his shades: Wha—is that… YOU GOT AHRI? Why does her card get to be all holographic and cool?
KS: Looks like a special edition card. Must be very rare indeed.
EZ: Damn. She looks so good in that one.
KN, staring at the card, then, holding it out between his index and middle finger, not looking at EZ: Take it.
EZ: [bewildered, in complete disbelief] There’s no way y—
He pauses. Then his expression shifts into a smug, knowing smile.
EZ: Someone’s really into Akali.
KN: Ugh, just shut up and take the card, Ezreal… before I change my mind in three, two—
EZ, snatching the Ahri shiny and replacing it with the Akali collectible: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! ...thanks. Least it’s a win-win; I got what I came for, and you did too.
KN: …
Kayn's got four of those in some hidden drawer under his desk back home. No one knows.
They drive off. Minutes later while the boys are enjoying their food…
KN, realising what he’s done and that he’s now stuck with not three Akali dupes but FOUR now: Fuck it—give it back Ez.
EZ: WHAT? NO!
KN: GIVE IT BACK EZREAL
EZ: WHY? I DON’T WANT TO
KN: FUCK.