Chapter Text
We had no time to say goodbye so let's not call it that.
Sweat drips from his brow as he swings his claymore at another assailant cutting them down with ease. He faces the last treasurer hoarder and sees the look of horror and desperation on his face and hesitates. In the second hesitates the treasurer hoarder seems to gain the confidence he needs and lunges at Diluc. The treasure hoarder manages to only scratch the side of his face before his claymore slices through his side.
He finally lets his body relax as the treasure hoarder hits the ground and fades to ash. He stares at the spot where the treasure hoarder just was and can’t help but wonder when he started to associate relief with death.
He tries to shake the useless thought away and turns from the ruined camp there is nothing of importance here like the rest of Liyue. He had left his homeland of Mondstadt months ago due to one Fatui with a partially loose mouth saying that delusions were being transported through Liyue but after months of searching, he was still empty-handed.
Months of searching only to come up empty-handed has left a part of Diluc wanting to run back home. He wants to run back to Dawn Winery, he wants to cry in Adeline's arms, apologize to Kaeya, and see Jean again. Most of all he wants his Father it’s childish, especially for someone who is eighteen but Diluc can’t help it, is it so wrong to desire one last hug from his father?
He hisses at himself as the unwanted thoughts crowd his mind. He doesn't even have the right to let those thoughts cross his mind the only ones responsible for his misery are the Fatui and his own self. There is no home left and one of the only people he can blame is himself.
He was too weak to save his own father.
He was too weak to do anything but harm his own brother.
He was too weak to tell anyone the truth.
He was too weak to embrace reality.
So he ran and turned his back on the world just as it had done to him.
He grabbed only the things he deemed would help him survive on his own and ran into the night. In an act that he dared to say was more cowardly than just watching his father get killed, he left in the embrace of darkness. With no feelings but a rage that could not be controlled. While clutching that cursed glass to his chest he vowed that he would end whoever caused this chain of events to happen.
From his months of searching every inch of Mondstadt, the only clues he could scrounge up were the glass is called a delusion, a false vision, and the only people who could be responsible for the attack on his father would be the Fatui. All the signs pointed him to Liyue and for once he had something akin to hope. He foolishly believed that the answer would lie in the land of geo and this whole nightmare would be put to rest.
Sadly that dream was quickly crushed all Liyue had done was show him how much deeper delusions and the Fatui’s scope ran. He leaped into a dark hole hoping for it to be shallow but it ended up being deeper than anything he could have ever imagined.
He walks along the empty road, these parts of Liyue are usually vacant and he's thankful for that. While the dead fade to nothing but ash their blood never seems to leave Diluc. He can feel the blood drying on his skin going from a wet stickiness to a dry scratchy feeling. He must be an awful sight to look at. When he makes it back to the inn he’ll try his best to conceal himself from any innocent wandering eyes.
As he approaches Wangshu Inn he lets his eyes roam across the influx of people. Perhaps he should have waited until nightfall but wanted the dried blood off of him and he didn't feel inclined to bathe in a pound so the eyes of a few innocent people have to be tainted.
As he passes through the busy part he feels the eyes and hears the gasps and whispers that follow. To hell with them, Diluc can’t help but think ever since he abandoned his noble status other people's opinions of him matter less and less.
He just wants a bath.
He treks up the stairs and the sudden quietness leads him to finally notice a slight dripping sound. He glances behind him and sees a trail of red splotches. He looks at his greatsword that is strung across his back and sees the steady stream of blood running down the sword. He bites back a groan now he's going to have to clean himself, his sword, and the stairs. He could leave the mess on the stairs since no one uses them but he’s not rude.
He reaches the main floor of the Inn and heads for the indoor stairs when he hears a gentle hum. He glances over to Verr Goldet she gives him a polite smile but her eyes demand an explanation. He walks over to her with clear exasperation he just wants to ignore her but he could never do that to someone who shows care for him, the word liar flashes through his head but he just pushes it away.
“You’ve looked better Mister Ragnvindr.” He feels a slight blush overtake his face. “I told you, you don't need to call me that.” He says in a firm but not unkind tone. Being called by his surname is a privilege he feels he has lost. He was taught by his father that he should always be proud of his noble status. His actions have done nothing but bring dishonor to his family name. A Ragnvindr would never run away from their responsibility to seek out some sick revenge. But he's so far in he feels like there's no way to go back.
“Well, Mister Diluc do you mind telling me how you ended up so beat up and bloody?” The scolding tone of her voice is not appreciated. “It was just a little brawl nothing of your concern it will bring no harm to the Inn or its guests.” He tries to speak in a carefree tone but he can tell she sees through him.
Verr Goldet frowns at him with obvious displeasure. “I know you would never bring harm to my guest. Diluc I worry over you. You're always coming and going and you're never tending to yourself.” Diluc feels a childish pout form on his face and he tries to suppress it but it obviously shows because of the look Verr Goldet throws him. “Go wash up and then go to my room I’ll patch you up.”
The sincerity and care in her voice make Diluc feel uncomfortable and he opens his mouth to deny her request but the glare he receives makes him immediately shut up. He knows the type of person Verr Goldet is, it's better to just keep your mouth shut and listen to them.
It hurts for him to think about but she reminds him so much of Adeline. The way her watchful eye catches anything physically or emotionally wrong. It seems she never hesitates to call out him or others who try to lie or deceive her. Adeline was the same with DIluc and Keaya maybe it was because she helped raise them but they could never lie to her she would always know.
He turns away and starts heading to his room the way her eyes linger on his back is heavier than his claymore could ever be.
When he reaches his room he gently places his claymore on the dresser. The blood has finally dried so he doesn’t have to worry about ruining anything else. He goes to pull off his jacket when he hears a heavy clunk. He looks down and feels his heart skip a beat as his eyes focus on the dreaded glass.
No matter how many times he sees it, and uses it, he is filled with this sense of wrong. Every time he acknowledges its presence it feels like someone is stabbing him. It could be because it’s a false power or it could be because it's the very thing that ended his father's life. But a tiny part of his mind tells him it's something else. The pain he feels every time he uses it is like the chains wrapping around his soul.
The delusion whispers to him in a sweet wordless persuading him to pick the glove up. He bends down and gently picks up the delusion and the warmth that fills him leaves him uncomfortably hot. He sets the glove down and heads to the bathroom while he takes off the rest of his clothes.
He draws a warm bath and adds the herbs Verr Goldet had previously given him, she said they had healing properties but he couldn't care less about that. He still uses them because something in him would be mad if he didn't use a gift from her especially when it was free.
Once he deems the bath a good temperature he slips in and can't help but let out a groan of relief. He doesn’t like to allow himself pleasure but he feels like he's allowed a warm soothing bath. The sharp string of his wounds is enough to balance out the pleasure of the bath in his mind.
While resting he can’t help but let his mind wander he’s been searching for answers for over a year and has come up with almost nothing. It’s probably a good idea for him to start making his way out of Liyue though he has no idea where he would go next. Mondstadt is out of the question he's already looked there and that's way too close to home. He could try Sumeru but he's not sure where he would start. He needs to find a lead somehow maybe he’ll start making his to Liyue City in the coming days.
He groans and lets his head sink under the water why did this have to be so complicated when he first set off he was filled with so much fury and rage that he didn't think everything through. He would have never guessed how deep the Fatui ran and how dangerous even poking around them is. He’s already so deep and still has that rage burning within him that he knows he can’t back out even with how tired he is. He raises his head out of the water with a gasp.
There's no time to think about home, about Adeline, Jean, his father, Kae- he cuts himself off before he can finish that line of thought. It's too late for any of that he just needs to let go. He needs to cut off any string of emotion and focus on his goal.
If only that was as easy for him to do as it was to think.
After a while, he unhappily pulls himself out of the pink-tinted water. His body screaming at him now that he finally was able to relax and he's dreading having to walk down all the stairs again.
After he pulls on a casual set of clothes he makes his way to the front desk. As he approaches the desk he notices that Verr Goldet is helping a guest. She must notice him because her eyes lock on to him she nods her head to the left. She wants him to wait for him by her room. It makes sense but he was hoping he could avoid another set of stairs.
Her room was located at the bottom of the inn right next to the kitchen and he’s only been down here a couple of times, mainly when he was injured. He leans against the wall not wanting to enter her room without her permission.
He closes his eyes and lets himself zone out for a bit until he hears a voice. “That's a little creepy.” He jerks his head up to meet Verr Goldet's eyes he worries for a second but all he sees in them is mirth. He goes to speak but she silences him with a finger to his lips and her small hands wrapping around his arm leading him into her room.
He hears her mutter something about always having to take care of angsty people but he chooses to not pay attention to that. She leads him to the bathroom and gestures for him to sit on the toilet. He tries to suppress a grimace but it slips through because he can hear Verr Goldet let out a giggle. “I guess you can’t ever get rid of nobility.”
“You must stop saying that I've abandoned my clan I don't deserve that honor.” As the words leave his mouth he can’t help but see the sad expression overtake her face. She stops preparing the first aid and reaches out to cup his face.
Her finger gently brushes over the scrape above his eyebrow as she speaks. “Sure you might have abandoned them but you are still a Ragnvindr, as you know I hail for Mondstadt as well I know the history of your clan and the importance of it. You're the head of the Ragnvindrs now even with you being gone you can regret your decisions but never forget who you are.” The steadiness in her voice makes Diluc turn his head away from her. She sighs and he feels her hands retract from his face only for them to come back with a cloth.
The cloth gently dabs at the cuts on his face, they both sit in silence while Verr Goldet works on him. Her words keep on circling in his head. Oh how much he wants to go home. He needs to avenge his father and he needs to know how the fatui is involved, and how delusion works. But at the end of the day, there's a giant hole in him crying for his father and Kaeya.
He hears a soft “Oh honey” before he notices the wetness on his cheeks. He grits his teeth and tries to hold back any more tears but when his eyes land on Verr Goldet's kind face he feels himself crumble.
Verr Goldet stands up and wraps her arms around Diluc's sobbing form and it does nothing but encourage more tears to come out. His entire body aches from all his wounds but the only thing he can focus on is her hands gently running through his hair.
He probably cried his eyes out for twenty minutes before he could finally calm down and let Verr Goldet patch him up. He tries to cover up his winces that come from the feeling of being stitched up but the knowing glint in her eyes tells him he's doing a bad job at it.
Once she ties off the last stitch Diluc finally drops his shirt and lets out a tired groan.
“It is past your bedtime right?” The teasing tone in her voice is infuriating. “Wipe that frown off your faces and head towards your room I've been away from my post for too long.” He lets out a few grumbles of unintelligible words and Verr Goldet just smirks at him.
As they reach her desk he splits off to go to the stairs but is stopped when he hears her call out for him.
“Let me check on you in the morning okay I’m worried about a couple of those gashes.” The sincerity and kindness in her voice are too much for him to handle but there's also something else in her tone like she's searching for something. “I care about you, you know many people do.” Oh, she knows or at least she has an idea what his next move is.
He turns around and actually smiles at Verr Goldet. “I know don’t worry I’ll see you tomorrow.” Fake sweetness drips in his voice and he doesn’t spare her another glance as he walks up the stairs faster than is needed.
He reaches his room and immediately starts gathering his few belongings. Anxious energy covers his entire form he should have known better than getting close to Verr Goldet because he's about to do what he does to every person who ever cares about him.
Leave.
He finishes shoving everything in his bag and then sits on the bed he was going to leave in the morning but that can’t work now he needs to leave tonight. He needs to leave before he poisons this place any more than he already has.
His best choice of exit would be to leave during the dead of the night when Verr Goldet has retired to her room. This is exactly what he does, around two in the morning he grabs his bag and throws on his black cloak.
He makes his way down the stairs and pauses midway when he takes a look at the main desk and sees it empty he lets out a relieved sigh and continues making his way out of the inn. When he finally reaches the road outside of the inn he can’t help but glance back at it.
A female figure dressed in a nightgown is standing on the balcony of the inn watching him. Diluc knows without a doubt that it's Verr Goldet and he feels a deep sadness fill him. Before he can make a move he vaguely sees the figure shake her head and turn to head into the inn.
Diluc swears he can feel his heart breaking even more but he doesn’t even know what to expect. How is he allowed to feel sad when someone finally gives up on him when all he's done is try to push them away?
He lets himself grieve another ruined relationship and then seals it off. He's got more pressing issues to attend to now. Getting to Liyue Harbor and getting his next lead.