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Its Saturday night, Liam has found himself at yet another house party with the same people he goes out with every weekend. He’s standing by a couch, he and Will leaning against the back of it talking to Chet and Billy who are sat across from each other on either end. It’s a full house, bodies brushing by and loud conversation filling the room they’re in, with even more voices spilling in from the kitchen around the corner. The room is big with high ceilings and big windows. The lights are low, leaving a few projectors shining in various hues to illuminate the room. A few annoyed glances are shot at Billy and Chet for hogging the entirety of the couch. However, the boys are none the wiser as they are in a heated debate about a comment Will and Liam got on a recent podcast episode.
“I just think that it has to be referring to be Liam, look at him!” Billy says with a laugh, “Like, look at his skin, if anyone looks like a blind salamander from deep underground its you.”
“No, man, it’s gotta be Will. Look at his face, he looks like he has all the inclined senses to live in a cave underground. I don’t know how this is even up for debate. Liam would just curl up and die.” Chet counters.
Will and Liam are hysterical, but as soon as Liam can catch enough air in his lungs to make words, he croaks out, “Dude, all the comment said was ‘Dude looks like and axolotl’, if either of us LOOK like one, its me.”
“Hey!” Will says loud enough to get Liam to look at the man standing beside him, “It can’t be for you, I’ve been told I have the face of a lizard. There is no debate to be had here.”
Will drops his head to Liams shoulder as they all laugh again. Coming back around after his laughing fit, Liam catches a glimpse of Will letting out the last of his giggles. He takes a moment to look at his friend, looking away before Will can notice. Liam reminds himself not to get caught staring.
Here’s the predicament. Liam has noticed that the last maybe three or four times they have gone out, whether it be a party, a bar, a game; that once he starts to feel loose from the first couple beers in his system, he starts to catch things. Not any things; but Will things. He’s not sure when it started but he became aware of it a few weeks ago when Will was beside him on a couch, their legs overlapped from sitting so close to one another. The afterparty they were attending that night (for an event he can’t remember the details of) was packed, bodies on bodies. But somehow all his brain could do was keep noticing the feeling of his friend’s warmth on him. He ended the night chalking it up to drinking too much and having not been laid in a while.
But since then, as soon the warmth of the alcohol starts to make itself known, so does that little part of his brain that wants Will to be near him. A laugh, a nudge, a hand on a shoulder, it all scratches an itch Liam didn’t even know he had.
Will’s head slides off Liam’s shoulder, a feeling of relief washing over him, followed by a longing feeling that’s new to him. They move on to other conversation topics, but Liam notices how he can still feel where Will’s head was moments ago. It feels like sunburn that leaves his skin with a lingering warmth; the feeling is addictive. Liam’s brain makes one simple command to the rest of his body; touch Will.
With as many drinks as he’s had, no part of Liam’s brain is in the mood to protest. So, without thinking he reaches his hand out, barely making contact with the skin on Will’s forearm. He remains there, the back of his finger ghosting against the other man’s arm.
“Hey, you alright?” Will says interrupting Liam’s thoughts. Liam comes to, a small blush showing behind his freckles, making eye contact with his friend.
“Yeah man, just kind of drained today. Third day in a row of drinking has fried my brain like an egg.” Liam mentally pats his own back for the save and Will gives him a nod.
“Well, I’m gonna go outside for a few, get some air that doesn’t smell like a bunch of people sweating on each other.” Will announces to the 3 boys, though Billy and Chet are now engulfed in their own conversation. Just as Will starts to walk away, he turns a bit to motion for Liam to follow him with a small nod. That little part of Liams brain has a tiny reaction and so he trails behind Will on their way to the glass doors that exit into the back yard.
--
Outside the moon is not much but a sliver barely illuminating the sky, and people stand in clusters around the back yard. Theres a nip in the air, not all that common for a night in Southern California. Though it’s not nearly as cold as the weather he’s used to on the East Coast, Liam still sits by the fire majority of the party goers are surrounding. It’s a small propane fire pit with a cover resembling chicken wire to keep drunk hands out. Liam can’t help but laugh to himself a bit.
“Something funny?” Will says from beside him. They are sat beside each other in two plastic pool chairs. Liam looks over at Will with a lazy tilt of his head,
“Just amused at how L.A. this feels. All these people are huddled around this little flame like they’ll freeze to death. It’s not even under 70 degrees.” He says with a slight chuckle.
“Speak for yourself, it’s cold out here. Not to mention, I don’t think a single person here owns clothes for any form of acclimate weather.” Will jokes back. Just as Liam opens his mouth to respond he’s interrupted by a guy around his age, a pretty girl wrapped around him so tight that you can’t see where he ends, and she begins.
“Hey man, I really don’t wanna be a dick or anything, but could we steal one of your chairs. My girl here is cold.” Liam wants to be an ass and say something like ‘Then go inside’ or ‘Maybe she should have worn a jacket’ when Will says,
“Yeah man, no problem. Liam, some sit over here with me.” The guy thanks him and waits for Liam to move. Liam is slightly taken aback. Sure, offering a chair up to this couple is the nice thing to do, but to volunteer Liam to move is a bit annoying. Liam gives Will a look as if to say, ‘Thanks dude’ and begrudgingly get up from his comfortable position. He moves to the foot of Will’s chair, keeping his distance, even though his entire nervous system is screaming at him to get closer. Will doesn’t seem to notice Liam’s internal battle as he resumes conversing.
Will’s gone off on a tangent about his preference of salt or chlorine in pools. Liam is content just listening to how passionate he is about the random subject. They sit there talking for a while, Liam loosens up a little and scoots further on the chair to get comfortable after a bit. After a while they’re sat there, pretending to watch the fire while the two of them ease drop on the people around them. Will sits up, suddenly much closer to Liam than before, trying to ignore the warmth radiating from behind him.
“Hey,” Will mutters, the warmth of his breather present on the curls on the back of the other man’s neck. Liam shifts just enough to look at his friend, realizing how close they really are. Their eyes meet and Liam thinks he must look like a scared rabbit right this moment. “I need a new drink and I gotta empty my bladder. You should come in with me, it looks like you could go for another beer.” They both glance down at the empty bottle in Liam’s grasp, he can’t quite remember when he finished it. He nods, and before he can move Will is on his way up, using Liam’s knee as a crutch. As soon as Will is a few feet away, Liam can feel the cold that everyone else does. Maybe it’s just the feeling of absence.
--
A stark difference from the low murmur of conversation around the fire pit, inside the house it’s loud and humid. Will goes directly to the kitchen island, using the keg to fill his cup, then grabbing Liam a bottle of beer from the fridge beside him. As it’s handed to him, Liam mentally notes that Will remembers how he prefers to drink from a bottle. Liam is more prone to spilling drinks, sober or drunk, with a solo cup in his hand. Liam continues to follow Will like a lost dog as he exits the kitchen into the hallway, faced with a line of at least 10 people waiting for their turn in the bathroom.
“Yeah, fuck that. Come on.” Will gripes, switching directions and crossing the house to the stairs that lead to the far less crowded upstairs. Will casually grabs Liam’s hand as they weave through the crowd. He would be jumping out of his skin from the contact but reminds himself it’s not entirely uncommon for Will to hold his hand, so he passes it off as Will just trying to keep from losing him. That’s not to say he’s not completely transfixed by the gesture. They continue through the living room, Liam mentally noting that Billy and Chet are no longer where they left them on the couch. Finally reaching the other side of the room, Will drops his hand. They sidestep up the first few steps to avoid kicking over the drinks of a few people sitting on the stairs, but once at the top, they’re greeted with a much quieter detached area of the house. The perks of being friends with the host is having prior knowledge and access to all the rooms in the house Liam decides.
“My favorite bathroom is up here anyways.” Will says as he leads the way down the hallway.
“Why do you have a favorite bathroom in someone else’s house?” Liam asks with a giggle. Will looks over at him with a smile, shrugging, half embarrassed. They walk into a bedroom and Liam is pleasantly surprised by the condition of it compared to the rest of the house. Will continues to the attached bathroom while Liam wanders around the room looking at things and trying not to touch them. He settles for just plopping onto the bed, one of his legs hanging off the size lazily. Like a wave, fatigue washes over the curly haired man. He’s been nonstop for days, and its finally catching up, so he lets the feeling drift him away.
--
As he washes his hands, Will looks at himself in the mirror. He recognizes himself physically but there’s something else that feels different. He knows what it is. Even as he dries his hands he feels anxious about leaving the bathroom. It’s never been like this, with Liam or any other man he’s known. He decided a while ago not to address it, whatever it was, hoping it’ll go away on its own. So far, ignoring it has neither made the situation better or worse, but he can live with that. As he passes the threshold of the bathroom door, he scans the room to find Liam fast asleep on the bed. A little ping is felt in his chest as he sees his friend looking so serene in a place that is on the entire other side of the spectrum. Naturally, Will decides that the best course of action is to get a running start and jump onto the bed. He hits the mattress, landing on his side with a bounce. Liam is startled awake but tired enough to not even try to sit up. He looks over at a beaming Will and gives him a smile, hiding his face in the crook of his own elbow.
“Dude-“Liam says, dragging out the ‘u’, “I know I shouldn’t be asleep but fuck, 5 minutes would have been bliss.” Will scoots up and sits against the headboard, sighing loudly.
“you’d sleep here the whole night if I let you. But then I’d be alone, and we can’t have that, can we?”
“You wouldn’t be alone; you have Billy and Chet.” Liam offers. The dark-haired man shrugs,
“Not the same.” Liam tries not to make it obvious how much that affects him. He sits up, leaning against the wall beside Will. They’re only about a foot apart, sitting in silence for what feels like an eternity, but in reality, is a mere minute or two. Will’s eyes drift to his lap, then to Liam’s. He lets his hand drift over to the other boy’s leg pinching his pants. He’s not sure why he does it, but Liam is staring at his hand.
“Are these the pants you accidentally bought?” Will askes in a hushed tone. The freckled man just nods. “They look nice on you.”
Liam isn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so he looks up at his friend. Hesitantly, Will lifts his head up too. Their eyes meet, holding for just a second before Will’s eyes dart to Liam’s lips and back up. The brunette can feel his pulse in his ears, the volume exceeding that of the music spilling in from downstairs. A shockwave goes through Liam, and out of pure instinct he lets his eyes drift down to Will’s mouth. Transfixed, he lingers maybe a little too long, but for some reason he feels safe. The energy in the room shifts and heat crawls to the cheeks of both boys. Finally, Liam forces his eyes to meet back with Will’s. The look in the brunette’s eyes makes his stomach drop, a look he’s never seen on his friend’s face before now. Will realizes that they are suddenly much closer, probably from subconsciously leaning in ever so slowly. He could do what his brain is screaming at him to do, all he would have to do is lean in just a few remaining centimeters. He wants to, and he thinks Liam might want him to too. All he has to do is go for it, so he leans in-
The door to the room flies open and Chet stands in the door frame.
“There you fucks are, we’ve been looking everywhere for you two. Ubers outside.” He turns and saunters off, leaving the door agape. With no time to think, the boys get up and follow him.
--
It’s a complete blur for the both of them until they enter the uber. Billy is up front with the driver, talking about the party they were attending, Chet in the back against the driver’s side door. Will and Liam are quiet, not sure what just happened or if Chet caught any of it. Both are too scared to ask. What would they even ask? ‘Hey Chet, did u see any of that close proximity staring?’
Liam thinks it’s strange how raw and naked he feels from just looking at Will. Sure, it was a pretty heated stare down, but that’s all it was. They were just looking at each other. They’re drunk, it won’t even matter by morning. Liams is in the process of convincing himself it’s no big deal, meanwhile Will is pressed to his side in the small back seat realizing that he’s in a lot deeper shit than he initially thought. Will leans his head against the cool window to try to calm down, and for a brief moment it’s working. That is until Chet speaks up.
“Why are you two being so quiet? Did I interrupt a gay moment up there?” Chet laughs at his own joke. Liam continues to just look forward, trying his best not to show how panicked he is by the comment. Will hides his with humor, cracking a joke back,
“Just gave the best head of my life. Don’t be jealous, you’ll get your turn.” All the boys chuckle at that, Liam included. Will has a way of making things better, whether he’s trying or not.
The rest of the ride home isn’t nearly as uncomfortable, in fact it feels like nothing even happened, because nothing did happen. And just like any other drunk uber home, Will’s head ends up on the taller boy’s shoulder, and it’s completely normal. Except that it is different, even if just a little bit.