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A gentle click of the door and Minjeong doesn’t startle.
Sitting at her piano, her laptop screen lighting up her face, a scatter of papers around her, and a pair of arms on her shoulders.
A kiss, light like a feather on her cheek.
“Why are you here?” Minjeong doesn’t look.
“Why haven’t you changed your code?” Jimin asks, taking a seat beside Minjeong at the piano.
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Minjeong watches her silently. The taller girl reaches under the piano and slips off her heels. She shrugs off her coat and pulls down her hood before leaning on Minjeong. Minjeong doesn’t change her ways and she only continues to figure out the lyrics for her new song.
“What should I write?”
“Aren’t you always writing about me?” A quick response paired with a lazy smirk earns a scoff. “I’m not wrong, am I?”
“I wish you were.”
Jimin’s humming softly and Minjeong’s scribbling on her music sheets.
“You should write about the movie we watched.” Jimin says, her chin on Minjeong’s shoulder.
“Which one? Doona or past lives?”
“Why not both?”
“Okay.”
When it’s past midnight and almost early in the morning, skin-to-skin and an everlasting chill run through the room again. Minjeong swallows and doesn’t turn around from the wall as she lays in her bed.
Jimin is slipping on her heels and pulling her coat over her.
“Lock the door.” Minjeong says.
“You should change your code.” Jimin whispers, her voice tickling Minjeong’s ear as the bed dips and she presses a kiss on Minjeong’s ear.
Minjeong thinks as the door closes— you know I won’t.
Isn’t that why she always comes back?
—
The next time Minjeong sees her is at a company meeting, and Minjeong doesn't usually work here, but she was called in as a lyricist.
Actress Yu Jimin has decided to go back to her roots of creating music and Minjeong pretends that her presence doesn’t take up the whole room.
It’s a blind test for the tracklist and it’s by chance that three of Minjeong’s songs get chosen.
Jimin stares right at her and Minjeong wishes she couldn’t recognise her music style.
She’s packing up, almost at the door, when she’s called back.
“Minjeong-ssi?” It sounds so foreign yet familiar.
“Yes? Jimin-ssi?” Minjeong turns back around and Jimin smirks.
“I’d like to know more about you and your songs.”
When they're tangled together on the couch in Minjeong’s recording studio, she thinks:
You already know everything about me.
—
“How long are we doing this for?” Minjeong asks.
They’re sitting across from each other in Minjeong’s apartment. Candlelit dinner and cooked steak to perfection. Jimin had wanted to eat steak after her dance practice and Minjeong could only say yes.
“When you change your code,” Jimin giggles and Minjeong sighs.
“I’m serious.”
“I know.” Jimin smiles resignedly.
She exhales deeply, taking a sip of her wine.
“I don’t know what to do, Min…” Jimin swallows, reaching over to hold Minjeong’s hand and Minjeong lets her. “I’m still scared.”
“I…” Minjeong holds her tongue.
She’s always held her tongue.
“I miss you.” I want more.
“I’m right here." Jimin smiles softly and Minjeong nods.
“I know.” I want it all.
—
She’s lying on her side, lazy circles being traced on her bare back and Minjeong breathes slowly.
“Were you with him earlier?” She asks.
“It was a meeting.” Jimin hums.
“Will you do it?” Minjeong asks, knowing where this always goes.
“No.” Jimin decides this time.
“Okay.”
With Jimin’s arms over her and her gentle breathing tickling her neck, Minjeong thinks—this, right in this moment, is why she doesn’t change.
It’s too hard to change.
To change is to lose something and Minjeong wishes to never lose this.
It’s wishful thinking and her door beeps close when Jimin leaves.
—
“Why won’t you change? You can’t keep wanting me like this, Minjeong.”
It's been a long day and they’ve been tired. They’ve been tired for a while and it’s one thing and then the next, and the tower collapses.
“I love you.” Minjeong says.
Jimin cries and Minjeong stands an arm’s length away, feeling like she doesn’t belong in her own apartment.
“I don’t deserve you.” Jimin says and Minjeong’s pulling her in.
“I want to deserve you. Why won’t you ever let me?” Minjeong asks. “I want every part of you that you refuse to give.”
“I’m never here... you can’t want me, Minjeong. I’m being watched every day... I can never give you peace. Is it enough if I could never give you peace?”
Jimin thinks:
I'm afraid I'll love you forever and we'll never be in the same room again.
“I love you.” Minjeong says it again.
“I wish... I wish it wasn’t like this.” Jimin clings to Minjeong and Minjeong lets her.
“Me too…”
“...I love you too.” And it’s not enough.
Minjeong thinks this love will never be enough for her to stay or for them to change their ways.
They’re laying side by side in bed, basking in each other’s warmth. Jimin is tracing Minjeong’s features with her thumb and forefinger and it’s ticklish—it makes Minjeong laugh.
“Do you ever think how different we would be if we never met? How different would our lives be if we never met, or if we’ve already known each other in a past life too?”
“But I’m glad I met you in this life, here.” Minjeong says. “You helped me write so many songs.”
Jimin smiles softly, kissing Minjeong’s eyelid gently.
“You help me sing," Jimin whispers.
Minjeong falls asleep.
Her apartment beeps close when she leaves.
—
Minjeong’s busy moving into a larger apartment and Jimin’s premiere is today. She has a ticket for a spot in the crowd and she decides that at least she’ll show up for her.
They’ve been in this together for so long for it to just go to waste.
And at Jimin’s launch party, Minjeong pretends that Jimin is only looking at her amongst the crowd—only speaking to her from the stage to the seat towards the back.
Minjeong smiles, a lone tear falling away.
Minjeong thinks that for her, Jimin will always leave, but for this, Jimin will stay.
It’s better like this.
To have loved Jimin will always remain in Minjeong’s heart. No matter how brief it was, it was all her doing and all her choice.
No matter how brief, the love was there.
Jimin’s eyes find hers in the crowd and she smiles.
When it is over and she walks out of the venue, humming a catchy tune under her breath, she doesn’t think she feels as terrible as she would’ve.
She watched Jimin sing her songs and it felt good to know that her songs were in good hands.
She walks up the stairs of her apartment and presses in the code for the locked door.
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It beeps open.
—
The first time Minjeong meets Jimin is at a fundraiser party held by a famous singer. She’s invited along other songwriters, but Minjeong’s barely made a leap in the industry. She hopes to meet people here.
She meets someone at the desolate bar.
She’s holding a cold drink and Minjeong takes a seat beside her.
No words are exchanged and Minjeong thinks she looks beautiful.
Minjeong notices the way the woman scans the entire room, yet forgets about the paranoid action when she’s faced with a goddess.
“Um, are you an actress as well?” Her voice is deep and soft.
“M–me?” Minjeong blinks, pointing to herself. “Oh, no. No way. I couldn’t act to save my life.”
She laughs and the woman blushes.
“Sorry, you just have that visual.”
“Thank you. Are you one?”
“I’m starting out as one.” She nods.
“Ah, you have the visual, of course.” Minjeong teases and the woman chuckles melodiously.
“Thank you…”
“I’m a songwriter, Kim Minjeong.” Minjeong extends a hand.
“Yu Jimin. Singer—well, actress now.” Jimin’s giggle is sweet and Minjeong hears the sound of doors opening in her mind and heart.
"It's a pleasure to meet you.”
THE END <3
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