Work Text:
The package just showed up one day with hastily scrawled instructions on how to put it together. You had personally built the massive room sized computer that you usually worked on. It had all the latest technology; you don’t think even the project with Oppenheimer that you got booted from has anything quite as cutting edge as your system. At the same time you can plainly see that the simple red tower and screen that showed up on your doorstep one day was infinitely superior.
His name is Dave and he makes movies. At first you were just happy someone believed you. So much so you didn’t even question his story about being from the future. The computer was evidence enough anyway. You talked for hours; he confirmed your suspicions and filled in some of the gaps. You talk about causality and time too. Truth be told, the whole conversation left you frustrated. Even with all the foresight in the world, there’s nothing you can do to stop your stepmother. She will rise to power and the human race will die in the end. In some awful ways, it’s a better fate than what would happen if you were able to stop her.
You laugh bitterly. “There’s really no hope is there?”
He pauses and gives you a strange look before smiling. “Babies are born every day. Technology is steadily improving to make us live longer, happier and fuller lives. And there’s forces in the universe on the move to make everything work out in the end.” He huffs a laugh. “Hope is everywhere. There’s just none for us.”
Dave contacts you again several times. Sometimes to update you on new information on his end, other times for seemingly no reason at all. It’s almost like he has a sixth sense to find you on those long nights when your brain won’t shut up and you desperately need a friend. He’s funny and clever. He can make you laugh so easily. He makes you feel like the future is worth what’s happening now. When you talk, the loneliness subsides and for a moment you can just be two people connecting from across the universe.
But eventually it has to end. You both have important things you must be doing. But you ache so horribly when you say goodbye. It’s a bone deep bitterness and despair that grips you every time the screen goes black. Because even though he really makes you feel like what you’re doing, the foundations you’re laying together will be worth it, you can’t shake the resentment against all the powers that be that the man you’re in love with won’t be born for another forty years.
The first time you spoke to Jade she had broken into your shitty apartment the morning after your first Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff short film went live online. You just came home after going out for a bag of jerky and a Slurpee and bam! There’s a little old lady with a big ass rifle and a baby on her hip staring fondly at the trash pile you called a living space. There was something damn near predatory in the mile wide grin she flashed you when she said she’s going to make you rich and powerful.
Still convinced you were going to die at any moment, you said you’re not interested but thanks for the download. She grinned even wider and said you have no choice but to take her offer because if you didn’t the timeline would unravel on itself and everyone would die. You asked why it had to be you. She said because her name was Jade English, né Crocker and she knew what Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is really about.
You talked for hours; she confirmed your suspicions and filled in some of the gaps. You talk about causality and time too. Truth be told, the whole conversation left you frustrated. Even with all the foresight in the world, there’s nothing you can do to stop the evil thing growing like a virus on your planet. She will rise to power and the human race will die in the end. In some awful ways, it’s a better fate than what would happen if you were able to stop her.
Futility was something you were well acquainted with, but you still asked, “There’s really no hope is there?”
Her eyes light up for a moment before she laughs with the saddest smile you had ever seen. “Babies are born every day. Technology is steadily improving to make us live longer, happier and fuller lives. And there’s forces in the universe on the move to make everything work out in the end.” She pauses to stare at you for a moment. “Hope is everywhere. There’s just none for us.”
It was the first and last time you spoke to her in person. She helped you put together a time traveling two-way radio for you to contact her past self with. You got news that she died not long after, which was your cue to contact hot World War II version of Jade. It was the weirdest case of déjà vu you had experienced, and you’ve had a lot of déjà vu in you day.
But along the way it became no longer about the job you had to do. You started contacting Jade just to hear her voice. Something to soothe the exhaustion on those nights your brain wouldn’t shut up and you really needed a friend. She’s brilliant and kind: the personified sweetness of spirit that you lack. She makes you feel like you really are making a difference. When you talk, the loneliness subsides and for a moment you can just be two people connecting from across the universe.
But eventually it had to end. And every time it did all the peace you felt would be replaced by a terrible aching bitterness towards her. Because you know she set it up this way on purpose, though you can’t be sure if it’s because it’s less complicated this way; or because she felt unsure of what would happen if you could simply go to her; or maybe even as a bit of a punishment for all the grief she was forced to endure throughout the years. Whatever the reason, you’re still faced with the incredibly shitty reality that you’re in love with a woman who is already dead.