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Baekhyun smiles fondly as he quietly watches Chanyeol wiping off the tables of his very own coffee shop. He stays standing outside the shop just looking at his boyfriend through the glass doors. He does not know why watching his boyfriend do such mundane tasks makes his heart hurt—in a good way, if that even makes sense.
He continues watching Chanyeol until the latter walks towards the door to officially close the shop by turning over the signage from “open” to “closed”. He sees Chanyeol wipe off something on the door handles and he lightly chuckles when he notices how his boyfriend’s eyebrows furrowed because of how focused he was in removing whatever imaginary dirt he sees on those handles. Such a clean freak , he mumbles to himself.
After a few wipes, he sees Chanyeol smile triumphantly and then looks up from the door handles to him. Their eyes finally meet. Chanyeol finally notices him standing outside the shop smiling like an idiot and probably looking like a creep by just observing the handsome owner of 614 cafe.
And Baekhyun won’t even deny the fact that his heart skipped a beat the moment their eyes met. Yes, even after all these years of being together, Baekhyun still experiences shimkoong . He blames his boyfriend though. That heartwarming smile which automatically appeared on Chanyeol’s face when he saw him should be illegal. Baekhyun still cannot believe that the beautiful man in front of him is his and his alone. That’s my fucking boyfriend, everyone! He wanted to shout to the world.
Baekhyun walks forward, almost skipping from happiness, to finally meet Chanyeol. The latter pushes the door open and meets Baekhyun halfway. Baekhyun is suddenly enveloped in a bone-crushing hug but he doesn’t mind. The tighter the hug, the more he can actually breathe.
“Hi” he mumbles on Chanyeol’s chest while clinging to his boyfriend’s waist and without the intention of letting go of the embrace anytime soon.
He feels Chanyeol placing a soft kiss on top of his head. He whispers, “Hello, love. How was work today?”
Baekhyun sighs. “Same old, same old. Just usual boring corporate stuff.” Baekhyun puts his chin on top of Chanyeol’s chest to look up to his tall boyfriend. He shows his pout and the latter just chuckles.
“Yeah?” Chanyeol places a quick peck on his nose and continues, “no office drama today, I see?”
Baekhyun’s eyes grow twice bigger in size when he remembers what happened during his lunch break in the office. He excitedly replies, “You know what, there is!”
And just like that, the couple closed off the shop while Baekhyun tells Chanyeol of yet another office drama. He continues animatedly telling Chanyeol of what happened at work until they are already eating dinner in their favorite ramen place.
Chanyeol, on other hand, tells a story of how his barista managed to score a date out of a regular customer. Baekhyun intently listens as they walk hand-in-hand towards the nearby park.
And just like almost every Friday night, they spend the rest of the night sitting on the grass while playing their favorite game of ‘people-watching’. With Baekhyun’s back pressed on Chanyeol’s chest, and Chanyeol’s legs spread and caging him around, the couple watches people walking around the busy streets and creates unbelievable comedic stories about them. Of course, whoever makes the other laugh more is the winner who will be treated with his choice of dessert for the night.
It’s just the way it is with them. Always.
–
Baekhyun suddenly wakes up with a gasp. He blinks his eyes rapidly and feels like he is crying. He’s confused as to why he feels something heavy in his heart.
He quickly remembers his dream and somehow, the heavy feeling in his heart made sense. He looks at the other side of the bed and exhales when he sees that he is not alone. He turns on his side so he can quietly watch his boyfriend sleep beside him.
He gently cups his boyfriend’s face with his left hand and softly rubs Chanyeol’s face with his thumb. He takes in all of Chanyeol’s features and then smiles.
The Chanyeol in his dream and the Chanyeol in reality who is sleeping peacefully right now, are just the same. They both have the beautiful face of the person he loves.
But then he feels his heart squeezing upon realizing that reality can never be the same as his dream.
Oh how he wishes it was true though. He badly wants the seemingly simple lives that the Baekhyun and Chanyeol have in his dream. He wants to be able to go to Chanyeol’s place of work every night so they can go home together too. He wants to eat dinner in their favorite restaurant without the fear of being seen by people. He wants to be able to hold hands with his boyfriend in public. He wants to have a date night at the park just like a normal couple. He wants to live comfortably and peacefully with Chanyeol–similar to what was in his dreams.
He wants all of that. He longs for all of that.
Baekhyun was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Chanyeol slowly waking up. Chanyeol opens his eyes and sees a teary-eyed Baekhyun. The taller immediately wraps his arms around the smaller.
“Love, why are you crying? What happened?”
And upon hearing the endearment, Baekhyun suddenly cries. He remembers that even in his dreams, Chanyeol calls him love , and for some reason it’s really making his heart hurt more—and not in a good way.
Chanyeol pulls him closer and hugs him tight while he cries. His boyfriend softly brushes his hair with his right hand and rubs his back with his left hand. Chanyeol repeatedly whispers, “It’s okay, love. I am here with you, shh” as a way to comfort him.
It felt like hours until he finally feel himself breathing back to normal. No tears were running down his face anymore.
Chanyeol lifts his face and gently wipes the dried tears from his face. “Nightmare?”
Baekhyun cannot find the words to answer that. How can he, when what he dreamt of cannot even be considered a nightmare? A nightmare is something you would want to forget, right? But this one? No, he doesn’t want to forget it. In fact, Baekhyun wants to treasure it. He wants to bring it to reality. He wants to live it.
He shakes his head and buries his face on Chanyeol’s chest. His boyfriend continues to rub his back to comfort him. “Want to share it with me, hm? Or do you want to sleep it off?”
He doesn’t answer and just hugs Chanyeol tightly. After a few moments, he finally breaks the silence. He asks his boyfriend, “Chanyeolie, do you want to run with me?”
Confused and caught off-guard, Chanyeol loosens the embrace and pulls back to see Baekhyun’s face. “What’s that love? I didn’t catch what you said.”
“I asked if you want to run with me…”
Chanyeol blinks his sleepiness away. “You mean like tomorrow morning? You want to run? Love, I’m sorry I can’t. You know I have an early shooting…” Chanyeol visibly pouts at him. And in normal circumstances, Baekhyun would have kissed that pout away, but a heavy feeling in his heart stops him. He shakes his head. “No… like, do you ever think of running away? Running away from all this? With me?”
Baekhyun stares at his boyfriend’s confused face and continues, “run away from all the flashing lights, the paparazzi, from all this…”
Baekhyun sees the exact moment that Chanyeol finally gets what he meant. “You mean our lives as idols, hm?”
Baekhyun nods.
Chanyeol smiles sadly, “Oh, love. Of course I do. More often than you’d probably think.”
“Really?” Baekhyun asks in a whisper. For some reason, he is dreading the answer of Chanyeol. He feels like this is uncharted territory. While they have been together for a decade already, this topic has not been brought up simply because they braved their way all through the obstacles they faced as a secret celebrity couple.
They have managed to stay together amidst the several dating rumors, betrayals from old friends, and numerous media plays. They overcame all of these without thinking of giving up their celebrity lives. It just seemed to be out of the question to them, especially since these are both their dreams; and achieving your dreams together with the love of your life should be worth it, right?
But lately, Baekhyun is honestly becoming tired. Tired not of the relationship, but tired of all the miscellaneous things attached to being an idol in a secret relationship with another idol.
He does not admit to anyone that the recent dating scandal involving his boyfriend and another female actress bothers him. What for? He knows his boyfriend. He knows that Chanyeol loves him and that it is just another messy PR stunt from his company. It’s just how it works in this industry. So he keeps it to himself, thinking that it’ll just pass just like any other PR stunts pulled by the company.
He thought that he had already become numb about it but Baekhyun now thinks that perhaps not. Maybe deep inside him, his heart desires to shout to the world that Chanyeol is his . He wants to scream that Chanyeol is his boyfriend–the person who holds his heart and soul.
Why else would he dream of him and Chanyeol living a simple, non-celebrity life together?
“Baekhyun, love,” Chanyeol holds his face between his two big hands. Chanyeol smiles and he returns it.
“How many times have I told you that I’d give you anything you want, hm?” Chanyeol asks while staring deeply into his eyes.
“Can’t count, but a lot .” Baekhyun smiles.
“Exactly, baby. That’s why, if you’d ask me to run away with you, I definitely would. I want that too, love. Just like you, I want an uncomplicated relationship too.”
Baekhyun’s heart clenches. He closes his eyes because he knows what the next word will be.
“But…”
Baekhyun laughs, unamused. He opens his eyes and sees the sadness in Chanyeol’s eyes. “I know…”
Chanyeol sighs. “But we just can’t do that.” Chanyeol then kisses his forehead and his lips linger there for a while.
They stayed silent for a while. No one is talking and it is only their deep breathing that can be heard.
“Where do you even want to run, love?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “Just anywhere with you, really. And away from all of these.”
“That’s really sweet, baby. But you know that it would be much more difficult to just run away and hope that people will not bother us if we do, when we’re literally celebrities, right?”
He sighs. “Yeah I know. It’s pretty impossible if you’d actually think about it. But you know, I just wanted to ask you this because of my dream.”
“Hm, what is it, love?”
“Well in my dream… we’re just simple normal human beings.”
“You make it sound that we’re weird or something…”
“You know what I mean! In my dream, we’re not celebrities. We’re just people living non-celebrity lives. No paparazzis consistently following us, whatsoever. You are a cafe owner and I’m an office worker.” Baekhyun pouts. “Although, I am not sure what type of job I actually have.”
“An office worker, huh? Bet i’d have a crush on you if we’re officemates. I’ll be secretly watching you from afar and admiring how you type fast on your computer. How efficient you work. You know the Baekhyun effect.” Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrow teasingly.
“Shut up!” Baekhyun retorts without a bite. He also tries to stop the blush attempting to rise on his cheeks. “Like what the fuck, we’ve been together for a decade but he can still make me blush like a teenager? How unfair!”
Baekhyun ignores the smirk plastered on his boyfriend’s face and just continues. “Anyway, in my dream, we just do things without fear of getting caught, you know? I went to your cafe and then we ate dinner. We then walked towards the nearby park after, while holding hands. Imagine that, baby! We’re holding hands in public.” He sighs while imagining the scene.
“We held hands like it’s the most normal thing in the world and without any fear that a camera would suddenly flash.” Baekhyun smiles bitterly, which Chanyeol reciprocates.
“How about this,” Chanyeol adjusts their position to pull him closer, “just think of it this way… what if your dream is actually us in another universe? In a parallel universe?”
He furrows his eyebrows. “Then if that’s the case, I want to run there. You’re asking me earlier where do I want to go if we run away, then that’s my answer. I want to go to that universe where we are just living our simple lives.”
“But doppelgangers cannot live in the same universe, baby. If we go to that universe, then there would be two Baekhyuns and two Chanyeols. It means that one Baekhyun should kill the other. The same goes with me.”
Baekhyun gasps, “What, really?!”
Chanyeol chuckles at how adorable his boyfriend looks. “I honestly don’t know, baby. I, for one, have not seen my doppelganger and hopefully I won’t see him. Everything I said is just something I read somewhere. Who knows what’s the truth?”
Baekhyun slaps his chest playfully.
Chanyeol grins then kisses his forehead. “But seriously, I’m sorry, love, if we cannot just simply run away from our current life. I know it’s complicated and not at all simple just like our lives in your dream. But the important thing is what we have is real , hm?”
Baekhyun finds himself nodding in agreement.
“While reality sucks sometimes, it is still what we have. We just have to make the best out of it. Is that okay, love?” Chanyeol asks in a hushed tone.
“As long as you’re mine in this reality, then of course it’s okay. I'm fine with everything as long as I'm with you.”
—
“Baekhyun-ssi, the other day you posted in your Instagram account the song of Sunwoojunga sunbaenim, without any caption whatsoever. Your fans kinda went crazy and are now asking why. Why did you post it so randomly and vaguely?”
Baekhyun is currently live on a radio station program of one of the company’s female artists to promote his just recently released album. He expected that he would be asked different questions, even those not related to his album, but this particular question caught him off guard. He was definitely not expecting this.
Well, whose fault is that really, Byun Baekhyun? Why did you even post it in the first place? He mentally scolds himself. He also reminds himself never to drink alone while listening to sad songs. And never ever do such a thing when he’s missing his boyfriend who was not replying to him all day because he was busy filming a music video.
Baekhyun clears his throat to compose himself. “It’s just a beautiful song with such meaningful lyrics.” He answers vaguely, hoping that it’ll be the end of it.
“So you just like the song then?”
Baekhyun nods. “I also like Sunwoojunga sunbaenim. I was listening to her album, and just decided to post it to share with my fans. I know they like it whenever I share my favorites, and this song is definitely my favorite one at the moment.”
“But you’re not thinking of running with anyone soon, Baekhyun-ssi huh? I think your fans might get sad if you do.”
He laughs and hopes that it doesn’t sound awkward at all. Being in the industry for such long years has already trained him how to face uncomfortable questions like this, but he still worries every now and then that he might slip so he tries his best every single time.
“The only running I’ll do is my morning jog since I’m on a strict diet and exercise. I am being diligent so I can show my best self to my fans!” He says with a cheeky smile and then winks at the camera. He hopes that it will do the trick for now.
Fortunately, the heavens must be on his side because the host laughed and asked a different question, completely forgetting his random Instagram post.
He just hopes that no one would dig deeper into the reason why he posted it. He’s afraid he’ll just explode and scream that the post is essentially about his intense longing to run away with the love of his life. Like isn’t it pretty obvious?
—
“Hey love, have I already told you of what I dreamt of last night?” Baekhyun asks Chanyeol with an expression of both disbelief and amusement on his face.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol are currently eating their favorite hawaiian pizza in their living room after pausing an episode of their favorite TV series. They just got back from their work and are now spending their Tuesday night lounging around.
This is how their weekdays usually pass, except for Fridays. After Baekhyun ends his shift from his work, he walks towards the nearby cafe of their office, which is none other than 614 cafe.
He is always welcomed by his favorite strawberry matcha prepared by Chanyeol, and he drinks it while watching his barista boyfriend work. Sometimes, he helps out in cashiering if there are too many people in the cafe. Other times, he just talks with Chanyeol’s staff and regular customers while waiting for his boyfriend to finish work. He stays there until closing time so he and Chanyeol can go home together. There are times they ride Chanyeol’s vespa but there are times they ride the train too. Either mode of transportation works for them since they’re living in a fairly pleasant and accessible neighborhood. They do this routine every weekday but Baekhyun still can’t get enough of it.
It might seem boring from someone else’s perspective but Baekhyun loves it. He loves doing anything–even doing nothing–with his boyfriend. Their relationship might look too plain and simple, but it’s real . So he’d always choose it in a heartbeat.
Chanyeol shakes his head as he chews on his food. “Not yet, baby. We were rushing earlier, remember?”
Baekhyun sees a drip of hot sauce get caught on Chanyeol’s chin, so he automatically wipes it off with his left thumb–like it’s already a muscle memory at this point in time. The immediate reaction of the taller is to smile at him and place a soft kiss on his thumb.
Baekhyun just rolls his eyes and then chuckles at the memory of his dream. “Oh right! But baby you won’t believe what my dream is all about!” He giggles while setting away his plate. “It’s actually pretty interesting.” He adjusts his sitting position so he’s facing his boyfriend.
Chanyeol finishes his last slice of pizza and also sits properly on their couch. “Alright, you got me, love. Spill.”
Baekhyun grins. “Well… I dreamt of us, baby.”
“Mhmm.” Chanyeol nods, encouraging him to continue.
“It’s us but not really… we’re different.”
“Different how?”
“We’re both idols in my dream. Andddd, we’re a secret couple!”
Baekhyun stares intently at his boyfriend whose face quickly changes from shock to amusement and then disbelief.
“Pfft! Me, an idol??” Chanyeol laughs out loud. “Oh goodness, I can’t imagine!”
“RIGHT!?” Baekhyun agrees and laughs too. “Me too, baby. I just can’t imagine the life of being an idol.” Baekhyun shivers at the thought of not having any privacy because he knows that it’s just how an idol life works. He doesn’t think he’ll survive that. He values his privacy too much. He loves the peace and quiet he has right now and won’t trade it for anything. He’s happy and content with this life now, especially if it means living a life with the person in front of him–his soulmate.
“So what exactly did you dream of, baby? What were we doing?” Chanyeol asks with a curious gaze.
“It’s a bit blurry. I just know it’s a series of different scenes with flashing lights, huge crowds, and endless performances. Honestly, I felt like I was watching a movie trailer or something…” Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows trying to remember all the details of his dreams.
“But yeah, there was that one specific moment where we’re both in a company event, because apparently we’re from the same company but debuted with different groups, and we’re seated a couple of seats away from each other but we were actually stealing glances at each other!” Baekhyun laughs out loud.
“Oh god, if that was real, I bet my ass that it would’ve caused chaos with the fans because good god, we were not being subtle at all.” Baekhyun chuckles again. “I think the Baekhyun and Chanyeol in my dream at that time were younger and more expressive? Kinda like us before, baby, when we were just newly dating.”
Chanyeol grins. “You mean that time when you still can’t control yourself and keep on holding me, touching me everywhere even in public?”
Baekhyun gasps, “HEY! That’s not true!”
Chanyeol’s eyes grow big. He smiles mischievously, showing his dimples and all. “Oh really? Want me to remind you of that time in our fourth month of dating? We were in 614 cafe with the last few customers and then you—”
Baekhyun immediately jumps forward to Chanyeol and places his hand over the latter’s mouth. “OKAY SHUT UP!” Baekhyun whines with a pout and a cute glare. “I told you before to not bring it up again!” He pouts more and shows his puppy eyes to his boyfriend but the latter just grinned at him evilly.
Chanyeol removes his hands covering his mouth and then grins. “NEVER!” He teases and then gives him a quick peck on the nose.
He scrunches his nose and then rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”
Chanyeol took that chance to wrap his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. His boyfriend hugs him tight and places his chin on top of his head.
Baekhyun sighs in defeat. A hug from his boyfriend like this is unbeatable. He’d concede every time, so he scoots closer and places his head on top of Chanyeol’s chest. He listens to his boyfriend’s steady heartbeat.
They stay like that for a while until Baekhyun breaks the comfortable silence. “But you know baby, the last thing I remember in my dream is seeing myself in an interview. I’m not sure if it was a TV program or what. I don’t remember the place but I remember hearing myself answering questions.”
Chanyeol hums while brushing his hair. “Hmm, and then what else happened, love?”
“I think the person interviewing me was saying something about running away, but I’m not really sure. I can’t remember now. What I’m sure of is that the Baekhyun in my dream was feeling something that time. It was as if he was trying to hide something. And then when I suddenly woke up, there was this heavy feeling in my heart. It was confusing.”
Chanyeol squeezes him into a tight hug. “I thought your dream was fun and interesting. How come it now sounds sad…”
“Well I said it was interesting but I didn’t say it was fun.” Baekhyun shifts his position to place his chin on top of Chanyeol’s chest. He looks up to his boyfriend who is peeking at him with a soft smile on his ridiculously handsome face. He sticks out his tongue jokingly and Chanyeol just chuckles at his antics.
“But yes I agree that after my dream I kinda feel different. I feel like the feeling of Baekhyun in my dream is mine too, you know? It somehow felt familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. It was heavy and sad to be honest.”
“But why do you think you feel that way, baby?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I just can’t imagine living his life in my dream. Our lives, particularly. Being in a secret relationship while we’re both idols seems exhausting, love. I don’t think I could do that, so if ever it was real… I don’t know.”
“Are you saying that if we are actually idols in this life, you wouldn’t love me?” Chanyeol pouts–excessively at that. He was protruding his lips so much that Baekhyun just can’t help but roll his eyes. What a big baby. He thinks to himself. A big but cute baby. My baby.
“Well, I think it would depend on what type of idol you are. Do you dance? Hmm I have a thing for dancers, not gonna lie.”
Chanyeol pouts some more, and Baekhyun deems it enough on teasing him before his boyfriend’s lips permanently stay like that. He pinches his boyfriend’s cheeks. “I’m just kidding, baby. Of course I’d still love you even if we’re idols in this lifetime. As long as it is still you , the Chanyeol that I love.”
“So you’d be okay with the whole secrecy thing? The paparazzis and the like.” Chanyeol asks with a puppy-like expression.
“Yes, I guess so. You know love, although the Baekhyun and Chanyeol in my dream seem to have a complicated lifestyle, I think they are managing. So, I really wouldn’t mind if we are idols in a secret relationship I guess. If they can do it, then why can’t we? We’re not called the competitive couple of our friends for nothing!”
Chanyeol chuckles at the sudden turn of events. He places a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek. “Okay I know you didn’t ask me, but of course I want to assure you too, baby. It’s the same for me. I will always choose you. Whether here in our life, or in a different life as an idol, or in another life where both of us are worms.” Chanyeol chuckles seeing Baekhyun’s smile turn into a frown. “Just remember that I'd be fine with everything as long as I'm with you.”
“Whatever, cheesy boyfriend.”
“I love you too.”
–
Baekhyun jolts from his sleep with a gasp. He sits up, trying to calm himself. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that it was just a dream.
“But how come it felt so real?” The question lingers in his mind as he remembers how the Baekhyun in his dream suddenly looked at him in a way as if he was being seen in actual real time. It was so uncanny how the Baekhyun in his dream looked at him directly in the eye for a short second after he pulled away from Chanyeol’s embrace. The Baekhyun in his dream looked like he had seen a ghost while staring at him. But before he can even decipher what the hell was happening, he finally wakes up from his sleep.
His heart is beating too fast now. He feels exhilarated; like he just got caught doing something bad.
He shakes his head to clear his mind and then turns to his side and sees his boyfriend sleeping soundly. He heaves a deep sigh. “At least this is the reality that I know.”
He quietly lays down in bed again, careful not to wake up his tired boyfriend. He lays down on his side so he can observe Chanyeol sleeping.
He gently caresses Chanyeol’s face, tracing his favorite features of his boyfriend’s face. He smiles while remembering the last thing the Chanyeol in his dream said.
“I’m fine with everything as long as I'm with you too, baby.” Baekhyun whispers.
He realizes that maybe he finally experienced running away with that dream of his. Even just for a short while, he feels like he has lived a normal life he’s been longing for through the office worker Baekhyun and cafe owner Chanyeol in his dream.
And no matter how much he denies it, nothing is much different from the Chanyeol and Baekhyun in this life and the Chanyeol and Baekhyun in his dream. Their social status and personal circumstances might be different, but their love for each other remains the same. And that is fucking awesome.
Baekhyun smiles in contentment. He’s fine. He’s okay with this life. Making a few sacrifices to make their relationship work is nothing now. They’ve been doing this for a decade already and they’re still here. He reminds himself that the important thing is that at the end of the day, he has the love of his life sleeping beside him.
He doesn’t need to run away to experience love from Chanyeol. He already feels that now. Never mind the cons of being in a secret relationship, the pros definitely outweigh it every single time.
Besides, Baekhyun knows that what they have right now is worth it. Chanyeol is always worth it.