Work Text:
The problem with falling in love with your co-worker/acting partner/essentially fake-boyfriend is that when your working relationship has always been like this, it's hard to discern when exactly those fake feelings became real.
This in the way that the producers like to say that during Pond and Phuwin's first auditions, their chemistry was immediate and obvious, it sparked between them undeniably. It seems like a fanservice-y tale crafted just to sound nice in interviews, but really, it's not far from the truth. Phuwin remembers walking into the room that day, with the determination of someone fighting for a role that's already been decided it isn't for him. He hadn't really thought about Pond until that point, too much in his head to consider what acting with a new partner would really be like, much less a complete rookie like Pond. It was awkward at first, bowing in formality, exchanging nervous glances. Distantly, Phuwin knows he's seen Pond before, in passing at the company and sometimes on set during Gifted Graduation but he's taken aback by how handsome he is up close. When they start reading the lines together, somehow different this time even though he's probably read them over a thousand times in preparation for this, something clicks. Oh. This is it. A surprised glee settles over the producers' faces, and Phuwin looks into Pond's eyes and sees his future. Since day one, it's always been like that.
This in the way that Pond brings him food on rainy days and days when he's stuck inside studying and days that have no particular meaning at all. The way that when Phuwin inevitably falls asleep in the middle of a filming schedule, exhausted all the time by school and work, Pond will always lend his shoulder for him to lean on. The way that Pond brushes his hair out of his face mid-sentence, stays up until 3am to listen to Phuwin's self-written songs that he wouldn't dare show anyone else, offers to drive Phuwin home after particularly long days. All the ways that Pond takes care of him without asking for anything in return.
This, in the way that Pond will lean in first, get his stupidly handsome face right in front of Phuwin’s, flirting but never expectant. Sometimes Phuwin leans in too, to play along, because it makes the volume of fans’ screams increase by ten. But also because Pond gets shy. Everytime without fail, he flinches back, a burst of nervous laughter and pink cheeks mostly hidden beneath layers of foundation. Deep down, Phuwin is addicted to the effect he has on Pond.
He's always liked the attention that Pond gives him.
He doesn't know when that evolved into liking Pond.
It's late February, more humid tonight than it's been all month. Around 2am, Phuwin gets the call he's been waiting all night for.
He very unsubtly cuts Satang off in the middle of a sentence, "Hey, I have to go. It's an emergency…"
Satang shoots him a knowing look on the other end of the video call, "Is this emergency named Naravit?" Phuwin ends the call without a response.
"Yeo-bo. Ja-gi-yah," Pond sounds out deep and slow, his words slurring together despite the effort. He's taken up learning only useless endearments in a foreign language again, this time Korean. As someone who spent most of high school perfecting his English accent and trying not to die over endless Advanced Mandarin assignments, maybe Phuwin should find it strange or annoying. Instead, he can't help the satisfaction that those words are reserved specially for him.
"Yes, Pond?"
"What—um," Pond stumbles over his words, "What took you so long to answer?"
Phuwin sighs dramatically like he didn't drop an entire conversation just to answer him, "I was talking to Satang."
Pond grumbles unhappily, just like Phuwin knew he would. "Why were you talking to Satang? It's late. You should be asleep." Says the one that called me, Phuwin thinks, amused.
Anyway, Pond has no right to be jealous over Satang. Phuwin can hear Joong laughing in the background of Pond's call, as he often is, whether Pond is calling sober or not.
"Just work stuff," Phuwin says, purposely ambiguous, and pivots before Pond can whine anymore, "Where are you?"
Pond immediately rambles off the exact address of the karaoke bar he and Joong had disappeared off to after work for probably the fourth night of "birthday" drinks Pond has had this month. Because Pond does not have the same biting instinct in him, because with Phuwin, Pond is always honest.
It's not that Phuwin is really upset about Pond and Joong hanging out by themselves. Joong is his friend too, was his friend first, and it's not a secret that Joong and Dunk are complicated in the exact way that Phuwin pretends he and Pond aren't. However, Phuwin overcompensates by making faces and rolling his eyes, pulling himself back before he ever has the chance to lose control. Meanwhile, Joong can accept kisses from Dunk, from Pond, from anyone on any day of the week just because he wants to and just because he can. Joong has a confidence in showing his affections that Phuwin has never been able to comprehend.
It doesn't help that Joong and Pond are so close. Probably not closer than Phuwin and Pond are, but close in a different way. It irrationally annoys Phuwin that Joong might know things about Pond that Phuwin doesn't. And Phuwin hates to be irrational.
Instead, he chooses to be petty. And a little bit mean.
"You better hurry home, teelak. Even the birthday boy needs to get some rest," it comes out as casually as he can manage but he's flushing bright red when he says it. It's worth the sound of Pond spluttering into the phone, unable to even respond, as Joong's laugh crescendos into a cackle.
"What—" For the second time that night, Phuwin ends a call without saying goodbye.
A few seconds later, Phuwin's phone buzzes:
Pond GMMTV
not fair!!!
joong got it on video
n'phuwinnnn
phuwinaaa i love you
good night phuwin
Phuwin
goodnight, phi
(Later that night:
ARCHEN
don't worry, the birthday puppy made it home safe
Phuwin
who's his owner, you or me?
ARCHEN
[Video attached]
watch this then ask me again
😏😏😏
Phuwin leaves him on read, and saves the video twice.)
It's on Phuwin's 20th birthday that he discovers kissing Pond on camera is nothing like kissing Pond for real. It doesn't even come close.
It's technically already past his birthday, in those odd liminal hours between midnight and daybreak. Phuwin had hosted a small gathering at his home for his close friends, fellow actors and university students alike, and even P'Jack had stopped by briefly to drop off a cake. It's just the two of them now though, he and Pond. Everyone else had left, even Joong and Dunk, who usually decide to stay the night if Pond is. But tonight they had seemed closer and clingier than usual (something Phuwin didn't know was possible) and had called a taxi home hours ago, leaving a satisfied quiet in their wake.
On the table sat two wine glasses and a mostly empty bottle, far from the first one of the night but probably the last. Pond surprisingly has a worse tolerance than Phuwin but tonight had been for Phuwin, so he'd held himself back somewhat. Still, his cheeks are flushed red like they always are when he's been drinking, no matter how much he's actually had. And he's looking at Phuwin, who is past tipsy, with such a terrible fondness in his eyes. Phuwin keeps turning away because it hurts in his chest to be looked at like that.
He points an accusing finger at Pond that almost misses its mark, Pond just stares at it amused. "You," Phuwin says, glaring, "Did not give me my present yet, Khun Naravit."
"Aren't I enough of a gift?" He waggles his eyebrows cartoonishly, and Phuwin rolls his eyes. "Tomorrow. We have to go get it still, and it's better to do it tomorrow."
Phuwin pouts. "But I want it nowwww." So much like a child still when there's alcohol involved, and Pond gives in immediately.
"What do you want? I'll give it to you."
And somehow, Phuwin's gaze shifts down to Pond's mouth. Plush, soft lips, always slightly parted in a way that should look stupid but isn't because it's Pond. Pond swallows hard and Phuwin tracks that too. Slowly, he lifts his eyes back up to Pond's, which are looking right at him, dark and questioning and wanting, in the dim light of the kitchen.
Phuwin doesn't know which one of them leans in first but he does hear himself meekly trail off, "I want..." so quiet it's almost a whisper, so quiet they could deny he ever said it if they wanted to.
Instead, Pond's mouth is on his in the next moment and something explodes in Phuwin's chest like a volcano finally erupting undormant. Hot, gooey, unstoppable feelings rising to his throat, threatening to choke him out. Luckily, Pond's mouth is there to soothe it all away, the kiss deepening so quickly that Phuwin forgets anything else besides how good it feels.
And it's not their first kiss, not really. It's not even their second or third, they've probably kissed dozens of times during filming. But that was all about finding the prettiest angles for the camera and fixing Pond's hair out of his eyes and Phuwin being overly conscious that his hands aren't doing something weird. When they kissed before, there were dozens of pairs of eyes watching them, even more once the scenes aired on television. Everytime Phuwin kisses Pond in front of a camera, he has to look away as soon as the director yells "cut" just to remind himself that none of it is real. In the end, it's all for show.
But this kiss, this is for them alone. Phuwin's hand finds its place at the nape of Palm's neck, fingers twisting themselves into his hair. Pond makes a small noise into his mouth at that and Phuwin can't help but giggle. That's his Pond, so honest in everything.
They finally pull away, panting and staring wide-eyed at each other. A sense of panic washes over Phuwin at the reality of what they'd done. He doesn't feel tipsy anymore, he feels scared. Phuwin has always operated on the relief that he can hide in the denial of his feelings, but there's no denying what just happened.
Pond stands up suddenly, and Phuwin is convinced he's about to walk out the door. "Don't—" he starts to say, but words are lost on him.
But, Pond doesn't leave. He gently takes Phuwin's hands in his, pulling him up from the chair. Phuwin almost trips at the sudden movement, but Pond catches him easily, strong hand on the base of his spine. Pond smiles softly at him, as if everything was fine, as if they hadn't just changed the course of their relationship for good, says, "Let's get you to bed."
This is Phuwin's house, but Pond guides him back to the bedroom naturally. Phuwin lets himself be led, whatever this is, they can talk about it in the morning.
(They don't talk about it in the morning, not really.
What happens is that Pond wakes up first, his arm thrown across Phuwin's waist and his face buried at the top of Phuwin's spine. It's not the first time they've woken up like that, cuddling, but today it feels different.
He drags Phuwin out of bed, who whines the entire way into the shower.
Pond drove his car here last night, which is part of the reason he didn't go home after drinking. It's only when he's sat in the passenger seat that Phuwin asks, "Where are we going?"
"To get your present."
"But I—" already got mine, is on the tip of his tongue before he cuts himself off, ears burning at the thought of last night. Pond pulls out of the driveway, and when Phuwin finally steals a glance at him, he's blushing too.
Of course, the present ends up being thoughtful and perfect, the guitar Phuwin had eyed in the shop when they were here months ago but never said anything about it. When the store manager is ringing them up, Phuwin looks at Pond and thinks about how much he thinks of Phuwin, and notices Phuwin, and gets the overwhelming urge to kiss him again. And Pond smiles because he knows, he knows.
The drive back is long and quiet, Phuwin happy and fidgeting while Pond clicks through his playlist until it lands on a song Phuwin loves.
Phuwin does kiss him when they get home, short and sweet, cupping the warmth of Pond's cheek in his palm. He has to lean up a bit because they're standing now. It's completely different from the kiss they shared last night but a smile blooms across Pond's face like it's the first time all over again.
They don't talk about it, not yet. Phuwin doesn't have the words, but Pond will always wait for Phuwin.
This is enough, it's a start.)