Chapter Text
1979 (Jackie’s Version): From the Vault
Set during “Take It Or Leave It” (Season 7, Episode 23). Slightly canon-divergent. Bolded dialogue is taken from the show.
1. Say Don’t Go
There was nothing to prepare someone for leaving their hometown and all their friends and family behind. Not that Jackie was particularly attached to Point Place, but it was the only home she’d ever known. Now, unless Hyde came to his senses, she was going to move to Chicago and start her life. Up until now everything she’d done had been fake, superficial, and inconsequential. Her real life would start now, she would begin again and cut ties with anyone she’d ever known to give herself the best chance.
She tried not to cry as she packed her last suitcase. She was only taking things she knew she absolutely could not part with— so that meant all of her clothes and most of her stuffed animals. It wasn’t material things she wanted to leave behind, but people and memories.
Especially memories of a certain person.
Steven Hyde.
She’d known from the very start of their relationship that they were a shot in the dark. She knew that they were incompatible, of course they were! Their star signs were completely mismatched. Steven was a Sagittarius and she was a Virgo. They weren’t supposed to mix, so she didn’t know why she even tried.
Suddenly there was a knock on her open door, she didn’t bother to turn toward it. She knew that if it was her mom she wouldn’t bother to knock, and she was off on another trip, this time to New York with a new boyfriend.
“What do you want?” she snapped. She knew it had to be him. Anyone else would have just announced their presence. Not him. “Are you here to give me an answer?”
“Do you want to go for a drive?” He replied. Going for a drive did not sound like he’d made a decision.
She folded the shirt she was holding and placed it in her suitcase. “I’m packing.”
“Can’t you take a break?” He asked.
“Why should I?” She was still angry about earlier.
” Steven, this TV producer called to tell me he loved my public access show, ” Jackie said to Hyde with Fez and Kelso looking on behind her. “ Then, he offered me a job at a station in Chicago starting next week. ” She’d been lucky that she’d been at the station when he called. This was an amazing opportunity for her, but she knew in her heart that she wouldn’t take it if it meant leaving behind her future with Hyde, because she loved him.
“ Whoa, um, ” Hyde paused, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. “ You’re gonna take a job and move to Chicago? ” The panic in his voice was evident to Jackie, though she knew he was trying to hide it amongst his friends.
“ No, no, not yet, ” she assured him, putting one of her hands on his. “ Well, I wanted to talk to you about it first. ”
“ Uh-oh, ” Kelso said from the beach chair, “ This is serious-serious, not funny-serious. ” Then to Fez, he said, “ We should probably leave. ” Jackie appreciated Kelso realizing that they should have some privacy.
“ But we won’t, ” Fez said, because, of course, he couldn’t resist the drama. Jackie didn’t blame him. She wouldn’t leave if it were Donna and Eric, she loved knowing everyone else’s business.
She continued talking to Hyde, pretending the other two weren’t there, “ Steven, this is my dream come true, but you are the most important thing in the world to me. ” He was, and she wasn’t ashamed. He knew she was in love with him, and had been for a long time. “ So, ” she continued, “ I’m willing to give it all up and stay here with you, but if I do that, I need to know we’re gonna get married. ” She knew this was a stretch, considering their recent discussions, but she needed the assurance. She wasn’t about to give up her dream career for anything less than her dream marriage and relationship.
“ Jackie, we just agreed not to talk about our future, ” Hyde replied.
“ But our future is happening right now,” she knew this was how it would go. He was just too stuck in his ways, too stuck on being unemotional and unattached, despite being in love with her. Because she knew he was in love with her, he had to be. “ Look, the station needs an answer by noon on Sunday and I do too. ” She hated giving him an ultimatum, but she had no other choice.
“ Well, I don’t know what to say right now, ” Hyde replied.
“Because I want to hang out with my girlfriend,” Hyde said.
“Am I?” Jackie knew the cold shoulder was immature, but he’d done it to her earlier.
“Yes,” Hyde said definitively. “Please, can we go for a drive to the water tower and just hang out?”
Jackie continued to fold her clothes, “No, not unless you have made a decision.” The only thing she wanted to hear from Hyde right now was ‘Please stay and one day, we’ll get married. Just please, don’t go.’ All she needed was to hear him say something definitive to make her stay here with him forever.
He stood in the doorway.
“Close the door on your way out,” Jackie said without looking at him. She heard the door squeak and glanced over and saw him standing halfway through the doorway, his back turned to her. He paused for a second like he was about to say something, but then he continued through the doorway and closed the door behind him.
She tried to hold back her tears, but they flowed down her face without restraint. That’s when she knew that he wasn’t going to promise to marry her, she was going to have to go through with this job in Chicago. She lingered on this thought for longer than she wanted to, her breath catching in her throat. She’d just have to hold out hope and hold her breath a little longer.
She picked up the phone and called Donna, she needed to be with someone else. She couldn’t handle this waiting, her sadness would fade into madness if she was alone for a minute longer.
She piled her bags for Chicago by the front door and walked over to the Pinciottis to hang out with Donna while the boys were out doing God knows what.
They hung out for a while, and Jackie started to feel a little better. Then they learned the boys were out having a good time, drinking beer, not thinking about their women. They decided they could also have a good time and dipped into Hyde’s stash since Jackie knew exactly where it was. After a couple of passes back and forth between them, Donna and Jackie had the snacks out and were deep in conversation about why Sandy would sell seashells by the seashore. That then led to sand, and dirt, which reminded Jackie of Hyde.
“Jackie, I’m sure Hyde will do the right thing,” Donna said, getting into their snacks.
“You know,” Jackie paused. Her emotions were elevated thanks to the pot they’d enjoyed. “I really thought if I put myself out there he’d see how much I love him and say yes right away. And then when he didn’t, I thought, okay, well maybe he’ll take a couple of hours and then say yes.” She paused again. “But now I think he’s only taking so long ‘cause he’s gonna say no. Donna, what if he says no?”
“Jackie, if Hyde says no, then you and I get a van, and the Sandy Sandals tour America,” Donna smiled at Jackie.
“Donna, this is serious,” Jackie gave her friend a stern look.
“What?” Donna asked, “I thought it was a great idea,” she popped another chip into her mouth.
“No, Donna, this is serious. This isn’t an ‘I’m 16 and want to get married to Michael’ kind of situation. I am in love with Steven. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I just don’t see how he can’t know if that’s what he wants too. I’m going crazy waiting. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Jackie, if he loves you, he’ll do the right thing,” Donna repeated her earlier sentiment.
“If, Donna, if!” Jackie felt tears welling up in her eyes. Donna hugged her, but Jackie pushed her away.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” Jackie excused herself from the living room to cry alone in the bathroom. She didn’t need Donna’s pity. She looked at herself in the mirror and pulled herself together as best as she could. She knew Hyde loved her, though he’d only told her once while they were broken up. Even when she said it to him throughout their relationship, he always replied with, ‘You too.’ But until now she’d taken that to mean he did love her, but now, she wasn’t so sure.
After she’d spent too long in the bathroom she went back to the living room to see Eric, with his pants around his ankles, kissing Donna. She dismissed the pants situation and immediately asked about the more pressing matter.
“Wait, Eric, you’re back. Um, where’s Steven?” Jackie asked.
“Uh, okay,” Eric said, not making any motion to pull up his pants. “He’s passed out in the back of a beer warehouse.”
“You mean he’s not coming? He’s gonna say no,” Jackie realized, she put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.” As much as she’d feared this would happen, she hadn’t expected it. She at least thought there’d be more of a discussion. Instead, all they’d had was a short conversation where nothing was said, except her ultimatum.
“Oh Jackie, I’m sorry,” Donna hugged Jackie again.
“What?” Eric said, “I’m too drunk anyway.”
“I have to go to him,” Jackie said after she’d calmed herself down a little bit.
“Now?” Donna asked.
“Yes,” Jackie replied. “He came to me earlier and wanted to take a drive and I said no. I shouldn’t have said no, what if he was going to accept my proposal? I was so mad that I couldn’t see past our earlier conversation. What if I drove him to say no because of that?”
“Do you want me to drive you?” Donna asked.
“No, it’s fine.” Jackie brushed her off. “Wait, Eric, how did you get back here?”
“Walked,” Eric mumbled into the couch he’d laid down on, face first.
“Let me at least walk you, it’s dark out.” Donna offered.
“I’m fine, Donna,” Jackie said, “Remember those classes we took?”
“How could I forget?” Donna replied.
Jackie walked to the beer warehouse, her head on a swivel. It took longer than she’d expected, but if a drunk Eric could do it, so could she. She spotted the El Camino right away and knew she’d arrived at the correct location.
She walked in and saw the mess of boys strewn on the floor. Charlie, Fez, Kelso, and Hyde were all passed out with beer kegs surrounding them. She rolled her eyes, she’d have to get them home. She woke them up one by one and brought them out to the El Camino. She took the keys from Hyde’s pocket and woke him up too.
“Huh, Jackie?” He asked in a slur as she shook him awake.
“Get up, I’m driving you guys home.”
“What?” He asked again, his sunglasses crooked on his face.
“Come on, get up,” she said again, taking him by the arm and lifting him. She led him out to the car and threw him in the passenger seat. She got in the driver’s seat and took the boys the short distance home to the Formans. She went to Donna’s to get Donna and Eric to bring the other boys into the basement without the Formans seeing them. Then she went back to the car to talk to Hyde. It looked like he’d just woken up again, he was sitting in the car, just waiting.
“Jackie,” he said quietly when he noticed she’d sat next to him again.
“Well, you’re so drunk, I don’t expect you to remember any of this in the morning,” Jackie started, “but I’m sorry that I wouldn’t talk to you earlier. I’m listening now.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Steven, please.”
“What do you want me to say, Jackie?” Hyde asked, words slurring together.
“Say, ‘don’t go,’” Jackie said. “That’s all I want.” And right now she meant it. Even if he didn’t say he wanted to marry her. Just the one phrase would be enough.
Hyde closed his eyes. “No, Jackie, that’s not what you want.”
“Why don’t you tell me what I want then?” Jackie asked, arms crossed.
“Jackie, we—“ Hyde started, but Jackie cut him off.
“Because I am telling you all I want is for you to tell me to stay here with you. But you won’t and I don’t know why you’d lead me on for this long to just tell me no. I don’t understand. Tell me not to go, I’d understand if you just said, ‘don’t go.’”
“I can’t tell you not to go, I can’t,” Hyde said. “You deserve so much more than this town.”
“I don’t care about the job Steven, not as much as I care about you.” Jackie reminded him. “I told you that earlier.”
“But you should,” Hyde said with a sigh.
“Then what were we doing for the past two years?” Jackie asked.
He didn’t say anything.
“Why did you do this?” Jackie asked.
“Do what?”
“You made me love you.” She paused. “I love you,” she said with conviction, to drive the point home. She needed him to really hear her.
Hyde sat silently in his seat.
“Did you hear me?” Jackie asked. “I said I love you.”
He said nothing back.
She couldn’t even look at him. She was seething, she was done. She was going home, getting her bags, and going to Chicago.
She didn’t hear him whisper, “I love you, Jackie, please… don’t go,” as she slammed the door of the El Camino.
She walked away in the dark, feeling like he’d just ripped the heart out of her chest and she was bleeding out.
She needed to leave. She wanted to get out of this place and never see him again. She didn’t care that he was drunk during that conversation, or that she’d given him until tomorrow to give her his answer. She was over it.
She went over to Donna’s and wrote him a quick letter and left it in the Formans’ mailbox, flipping the flag up, for Mrs. Forman to find in the morning.
This way she’d never have to talk to him again.