Work Text:
Kunikida couldn't say he was surprised. He was just... caught off-guard.
You can not commit a double suicide on your own ～
Kunikida winced when the ringtone Dazai specifically picked for himself on Kunikida's phone rang through his apartment.
But with two people, you can ～
Kunikida put on his slippers, still not quite adjusted to being woken up by Dazai calling him at the time when people usually sleep. Kunikida's phone was in a different room from his bedroom so he took his time to get to the phone, only the ringtone bothering him.
Why would Dazai even call him at this hour, he didn’t know. He also couldn’t help but feel anxious though his annoyance was a more distinguishable feeling at that moment. If Dazai managed to get himself in trouble, Kunikida doubted he would call him. He probably got drunk and wanted to mess with him.
Double suicide ～ Double suicide ～
“What is it, Dazai?” he asked, wanting to get this over with and going back to sleep.
“Kunikida...?”
Something about Dazai’s voice froze Kunikida, taking away all the remains of sleep from him.
“Dazai? What’s wrong?”
Nothing came from Dazai. It was then that Kunikida overheard various sounds from the background.
“Where are you? Are you on a rooftop?”
If it wasn’t a rooftop, it was a cliff and Kunikida would hate it even more if it was the latter option.
Dazai was still silent and Kunikida was lost on what to do. He changed out of his pajamas while waiting for Dazai’s answer.
“Kunikida.” his tone made Kunikida even more uneasy as he put on his winter coat.
“Yes, Dazai. It’s me. You called me, remember?” Kunikida clicked the door shut, not even bothering to lock it in a hurry, “Now, tell me where you are.”
Something about this snapped Dazai out of whatever trance he was.
“Ah... Kunikida-kun!” his cheer was so fake Kunikida didn’t bother even considering to believe it, “Never mind, I should go-“
“Don’t even think about hanging up,” Kunikida interrupted, now walking at a fast speed, “Tell me where you are.”
“But you already figured it out, didn’t you?” Dazai said like he was talking about something normal like the weather.
“I still don’t know your exact location,”
Kunikida was starting to feel the guilt bubbling in his chest. Dazai calling in the middle of the night could not mean something well but Kunikida had doubted him just because of Dazai’s usually annoying acts. He knew Dazai well enough to notice what he was about to do.
“You don’t need to come, seriously. I just got bored, I guess.”
“You called me because you’re bored? Dazai, you should know I’m not falling for this.”
From the other side of the call, Dazai made a sniffling sound that Kunikida did not think suited Dazai.
“I- I just thought,” he attempted to steady his breathing, “I just needed a distraction and got it. Now I will return. Kunikida-kun doesn’t need to come to find me.”
Kunikida stood in the middle of the street, lost on what to do.
He took a deep breath, Dazai was impossible to deal with, “No, Dazai. You called me for a reason. I won’t let you on your own until I make sure you’re well,” until I make sure you’re alive would be the correct wording but Dazai didn’t need to know that.
“I couldn’t decide on what to do... You see, I’m on this rooftop. It’s a beautiful night,” his voice was not trembling now, “But I have a nice and sharp blade with me, too. I didn’t want it to go to waste... Well, It seems I’m not lucky tonight. You can hang up. I shouldn’t have called.”
Kunikida knew saying the wrong thing could end up in a disaster so he chose his words very carefully, “I’m glad you called. Now don’t hang up and tell me where you are.”
Dazai was silent again and Kunikida had to check if he just hung up.
“Dazai—“
“Check your messages.”
Kunikida hurried when he saw the address Dazai sent him. It wasn’t far- it made sense, a distressed Dazai wouldn’t go too far away in haste. He could reach there in five minutes since traffic wasn’t an issue at this hour.
That meant he had to keep Dazai off the edge for five minutes.
“I’m coming,” he had the feeling Dazai would hang up suddenly and do something purely impulsively so he had to keep talking with him, “Don’t hang up. Do you want to talk or do you want me to talk?”
Dazai took long to reply, “I’d rather if we do not talk at all. Don’t get me wrong, Kunikida-kun but I already spend most of my time with you. I’m sick of your voice.”
This was an obvious bait. Kunikida would rile up at him if it was a normal day but doing so now would not result in something good. Dazai might’ve been hard to understand yet this was one scheme he used frequently— to make people mad on purpose, push himself away then do whatever idiotic thing he wanted. It was a never-fail, according to Dazai.
“Okay, I’m talking then,” Kunikida decided to take the lead, “First, get away from the edge of that roof.”
“But it’s the best place where I can see the street well...”
“I don’t care. Keep yourself away from the edge, drop the knife you mentioned,” the last thing he needed was Dazai at the risk of just letting his body drop to the ground and he already had an unpleasant mental image of that. Kunikida continued when he heard shuffling from the other side of the call, “Good, I’m close. Don’t do anything stupid.”
A gasp from Dazai put Kunikida on high alert again.
“Dazai?”
“I- I’m... Kunikida— “
Dazai was definitely panicking now. Kunikida cursed at the situation for being this hard.
He took another deep breath. He just had to manage until he got to Dazai.
“Dazai, breathe. Don’t work yourself up.”
“I’m— I’m not—“ another gasp that Kunikida wanted to forget it came from Dazai, “Don’t come... Go back, please.”
“I’m almost there. Don’t hang up.”
“I can’t...” Dazai had long dropped the act now, “No... no...”
“I can see the building,” Kunikida explained, “You just focus on breathing.”
Dazai didn’t answer. Kunikida only heard the sound of the wind.
When he reached the tall building, he got to the rooftop pretty easily- seriously, why was it so easy to climb to the rooftops?
He immediately noticed Dazai and his left arm painted red. He cursed again, hurrying to Dazai.
“Shit, Dazai,” he said while crouching down. He couldn’t deduce if Dazai did this while they were talking or before he even called Kunikida. He pushed the guilt away, again. At least he managed to get Dazai to sit down away from the edge of the roof- which a fall from it could be lethal.
“I couldn’t help it,” was Dazai’s explanation. His shoulders were trembling.
Dazai was shameless. Kunikida had almost never seen him ashamed no matter what embarrassing scheme he pulled but at that moment, he was averting his eyes and lowering his head. He looked positively guilty. Kunikida never wanted to see Dazai with that expression again.
Kunikida saw the culprit knife near Dazai’s foot, its tip bloodied. He took it and put it in his pocket. Dazai reached for the knife, visibly afraid it was taken from him, and made a wincing sound.
Kunikida was not happy with the pitiful sounds he was learning that Dazai could produce and felt deeply uncomfortable.
“I— okay... It’s going to be okay. Let’s go back,” Kunikida wasn’t exactly qualified to deal with emotional Dazai but he was going to try his best. He could start by getting Dazai home instead of leaving him on a rooftop on a cold November night to bleed away.
Dazai refusing to move wasn’t a part of his plan, though.
“Dazai, come on,” Kunikida didn’t want to force Dazai but if he wasn’t going to cooperate, he would carry him back without any problems, “You can’t sit here. Tell me, did you take anything? Any medicine or alcohol?”
Dazai shook his head, defensively holding onto his injured arm. Kunikida would be suspicious of his honesty but Dazai just looked scared rather than intoxicated so he decided he could take his word on it.
“Okay, that’s good. Come on, I’ll take you home.”
Still no movements from Dazai.
“If you don’t get up I will carry you on my back and you will never shut up about it so get up right now or I will know what to do.”
This time, Dazai pulled his legs to himself and got to his feet in stiff motions. Kunikida held his uninjured arm to keep him steady.
They walked a few minutes slowly and without talking. Kunikida then realized Dazai was still trembling. He wasn’t sure how much of it was from the chilly air and how much of it was from his distressed state. Dazai didn’t have any extra clothes on him to keep himself warm, just wearing sweatpants and a thin hoodie, so Kunikida gave him his own winter coat.
Dazai refused it, “It’s going to get bloody,” being his excuse.
“Just wear it, Dazai.”
Dazai wore it without saying anything. The walk back was mostly silent.
When they reached the dorms, Dazai turned to his own dorm but Kunikida dragged him to his.
“I said I won’t let you on your own until I made sure you’re well,” he opened his door and waited for Dazai to get inside first, “And I intend to keep my word.”
Dazai, whether he was too exhausted to care or he trusted Kunikida, went inside without too much trouble. Kunikida relaxed. He wasn’t looking forward to yelling at Dazai when everyone was sleeping.
Kunikida took a look at Dazai when he went inside, seeing he was sitting on the edge of the sofa as if he was trying to take up as little space as possible. Still holding his arm without the intention to let it go.
“I have to tend your wound. Do you want to do it here or in the bathroom?”
Dazai just shrugged. Kunikida figured he could do it there. He took the first aid kit from his bathroom and came back as fast as he could, not wanting to leave Dazai alone for too long. A quick glance at his watch told him he also had to reschedule his whole day since there was no way he could go to work today.
Dazai made an attempt to take the supplies from Kunikida who refused to give them to him. Knowing Dazai, he had probably done enough of patching his wounds himself and while there was nothing Kunikida could do about it, he would simply not allow anyone to treat their injuries when he could help.
Dazai held his blood-soaked arm towards himself when Kunikida approached it. He was glancing between the medical supplies and his hand frantically. He resembled a wounded animal like this. Kunikida decided frightened eyes did not suit Dazai as well.
“I need to look at how bad it is,” Kunikida thought being reasonable could be enough to convince Dazai but he still looked unsure, “Dazai, your injuries will not heal themselves. You know that.”
Dazai, if possible, looked even more distraught at this.
“I’ll make it quick. It won’t hurt. You don’t like pain, right? Keeping it bleeding will only hurt more,” he couldn’t believe he had to explain this to Dazai who had been injured plenty in his life. He had a habit of acting like a kid at the worst times.
Kunikida sighed, “Is this about the bandages?”
Dazai refused to look at him.
So it was about the bandages.
“I won’t judge what’s underneath. You should know that already,” he tried to be as reassuring as possible, knowing how private Dazai was about this. It was not like he didn’t know what was there. He had seen it but they both acted like he didn’t so Kunikida had been hesitant to bring it up.
Dazai exhaled something deep and extended his arm to Kunikida, “Only because you want it so badly to strip me naked.”
Kunikida murmured something about Dazai being a pervert and removed the old and soaked bandages— which was rather easy since Dazai cut them earlier. It had to hurt, though, because even though the cuts stopped bleeding a long time ago due to Dazai knowing to at least apply pressure despite being idiotic enough to reject treatment, most of it was dried blood making the bandages stick to his skin.
He looked at Dazai, who was determined to not look at him. So this was how they were doing it. Great. It seemed every little thing concerning Dazai had to be just as complicated as the man himself.
Kunikida cleaned the wound and after a short inspection, he decided they were not deep enough to need stitches and cut some gauze from the roll. He could give this roll to the man as well, knowing how frequently he changed them.
Kunikida tried to pay no mind to Dazai’s arm but it was hard to ignore all the scars it displayed. He couldn’t help but wonder how much of this was self-inflicted and how much of it was acquired in different ways.
Either way, it filled Kunikida with uneasiness. It was not pitiful, just... sad.
“Done.”
Dazai viewed his newly bandaged arm and decided it was good enough, “Hmmm... maybe I should let Kunikida-kun be my private nurse.”
“Try doing that and I will bury you in paperwork for a year.”
Speaking of work reminded him to call the office for a day off for both himself and Dazai. It was still too early to call, though. A text would have to do.
He reached for his phone in his pocket, only to find out it was missing.
“What are you searching for?”
“My... phone? It's not here. Strange. I could swear I put it in–” he turned to Dazai and narrowed his eyes, “When did you even get it...?”
Dazai was holding his phone like a well-earned prize, giggling.
“Give it back, you Rock-for-Brains.”
“Why?”
Kunikida grabbed the phone out of Dazai’s hold.
“I’m texting Ranpo-san to let him know we’re not coming to work today,” Kunikida was confused about why Dazai looked so panicked all of a sudden- wasn’t he the one looking for excuses to not do his work every day?
“No?” Dazai seemed unnaturally confused.
“What do you mean no?”
“We’re going to work,” Dazai said, “Why wouldn’t we?”
Kunikida blinked, “No offense but you’re not in the shape to do work and someone needs to stay with you.”
This time it was Dazai’s turn to be surprised, “What? No. We’re going.”
Kunikida felt the anger taking over what piece of compassion was left inside, “Don’t play games with me, Dazai. Here, take your chance to laze around. Isn't it what you beg for every day?”
Dazai laughed and shook his hand like he was sending off flies, “Kunikida-kun, if you want to slack off this bad, I can tell you’re sick or something,” he continued to tease him, “Aren’t you the one telling me to focus on work? Did you decide to try reverse psychology?”
Kunikida barely suppressed the urge to yell, “No, Dazai– Why do you insist on not understanding? Take this day to get better, that’s all I’m asking from you.”
Dazai got up with the help of the couch, “I don’t need that. Let’s go, Kunikida-kun.”
Kunikida had enough.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” Kunikida shoved Dazai back to the couch. Dazai tried fighting back but Kunikida was stronger than him physically.
Seeing Dazai’s puzzled expression, Kunikida felt the need to explain.
“Please just rest here. I will think about going to the office after you’ve got some sleep and eat something. Until then, you won’t leave my sight,” he massaged his temple. He was used to Dazai consuming away all of his energy on purpose but this time it was a different type of pain.
Much to his surprise, Dazai decided to comply. He got comfortable on the couch. Kunikida lay a blanket on him. Dazai looked ridiculously soft like this– he repressed the urge to smile.
Seeing Dazai’s face, deep in thought, Kunikida made a final explanation.
“I’ll be here when you wake up. Get some sleep, idiot. You need it.”
Dazai's eyes were already dropping so he didn’t need to try hard to fall asleep.
“Don’t tell Atsushi-kun,” he murmured, “He doesn’t need to know.”
Kunikida raised his eyebrows. A strange request but he could see where it came from.
“He looks up to you, have a little faith in him,” Kunikida said, “He would understand.”
“Still... it’s better if he thinks I’m just joking around.”
Kunikida frowned, “I’m sure he doesn’t think that. He just respects you so much for whatever reason to know not to cross boundaries.”
Dazai crooned, “You’re just jealous I’m his favorite.”
Kunikida huffed but couldn’t help but smile a little.
“Okay; if you don’t sleep, I will knock you out,” he asserted, “Don’t worry; I’ll tell Atsushi he is your favorite, too.”
Dazai sighed something like a laugh and he was out like a feather the next second.
Kunikida needed to get up and clean up around since it got messy. Also, he needed to send that message to Ranpo, too, and then ask for someone to bring him a pile of paperwork to do while sitting beside Dazai. They would probably not think much of it if Kunikida just told them Dazai was feeling under the weather and he was taking care of that. It wouldn’t be a lie, he then thought, since Dazai spent considerable time out in the cold and probably would catch something from it.
Kunikida yawned. He would see it in a few hours.
Now, he could sit just a little bit more.
“Kunikida-san...?” Atsushi knocked on the door. Ranpo had told him to bring some paperwork to Kunikida since he wouldn’t come to the office that day.
It took a bit longer than normal for Kunikida to open the door. His hair was messy and looked positively tired. While Atsushi worked at a detective agency, it didn’t take one to guess he woke him up from his sleep.
“Sorry... were you sleeping?”
“I dozed off,” Kunikida fixed his glasses after taking the papers from Atsushi’s hands, “Anyway, Atsushi, thank you for bringing those to me.”
“No problem,” Atsushi replied, secretly trying to pry on Kunikida’s place behind his shoulders. He was sure someone was there.
“I’ll be going, inside, then,” Kunikida said, making a move to shut the door back when Atsushi stopped him.
“Wait– Kunikida-san,” he said with a voice louder than necessary. Kunikida stopped to raise his eyebrows at him.
Atsushi looked a bit embarrassed, “Uh... do you know about Dazai-san? He is missing, again.”
To his surprise, Kunikida wide-opened the door. Atsushi could easily see inside, now.
“Is– is that...?”
“Yes. He is not feeling well. He is sleeping, now,” Kunikida stated, “No need for you to worry but I’m staying with him since he can’t be trusted to be on his own with things like this.”
Atsushi nodded. He could see where he was coming from. Despite not witnessing an ill Dazai, it sounded like him to be an exceptionally hard patient.
“I should return. Please tell Dazai-san I wish him to get well soon.”
Kunikida smiled. Atsushi hadn’t seen him doing that much with the things concerning Dazai.
“I will. I'm sure he’ll feel better to hear from you.”
Atsushi felt something similar to embarrassment flushing his cheeks, “No... I doubt my words are that important for Dazai-san,” he smiled nervously.
“Well, know that that’s not true,” Kunikida reassured, “He thinks of you highly, too,” a glance to back, “I have to go, he’s waking up.”
He shut the door and left a baffled Atsushi behind him. He decided that he should express his gratitude to Dazai more, along with other members of the agency.
He silently got back to the office, feeling his day going a bit smoother.